you know I try to live without regrets.

you know I try to live without regrets. by sassy

Nolan kept his straight face in place as he drove, not bothering to glance down as I critiqued his tie again. It wasn't even bad, I just felt like picking on him. Finally he groaned when I told him for the umpteenth time that we didn't have to go to dinner at my parents and could still turn around. "Why are you so nervous?" He asked and tilted his head to look at me when we stopped at a red light. I parted my lips to deny that I wasn't, but he set his hand on my thigh before I could speak and gave it a squeeze, "You have nothing to worry about."
"My mom likes you," I replied and he grinned, caught off guard.
"Does she?"
I rolled my eyes and he started driving again, "Yes, but don't let it go straight to your head. Turn right at the next light."
He took a right and glanced at the two way street, "I'm not surprised. I can be charming when I want to be," He replied, remembering the address at least since I had told him a dozen times already.
"If that's the case then you should choose to be charming more often," I said flatly and he laughed, causing me to glare at him.
"You get my dick hard when you glare at me like that," He told me with a smirk.
"Everything I do makes you hard instead," I replied and licked my lips, knowing the effect I had on him. "You can park right there."
He sighed and did as told, turning the car off and unbuckling his seat belt, "Do you want to tell your parents the truth?"
"That I made up a boyfriend?" I scoffed and shook my head. "No. I'd look like a loser or worse, a crazy person."
"Technically you didn't make me up since I'm a real person," He replied.
"Such a smarta.ss." I muttered under my breath as I unbuckled my seat belt before smoothing my dress.
"Is that what you're going to tell your parents? I'm marrying him because he's a smarta.ss." He said from beside me, making me turn to him.
I raised my eyebrow slowly as I bit back a grin, "It'd be better than I'm marrying him because of his good looks and his huge d.ick." I retorted and opened my bag, reaching for my lipstick.
"Am I huge? Really? I had no idea." He said back with a smug grin on his lips, grabbing my hand and holding it down as he leaned into me, "You don't need that." He added.
"Because I'm already naturally gorgeous?" I smirked at him slowly, "Or because you don't want it on your lips too? Or because you're a make up expert?"
"You know how to be obnoxious, do you know that?" He asked flatly.
I cupped his jaw, brushing my thumb against his scruff. "Is that what you're going to tell my parents? I asked her to marry me because she's obnoxious?" I asked back and kisses his lips softly, aware that I was being impossible againt but it was just how I got when I was nervous. Not that I'd ever admit that to Nolan. In all honesty sometimes I thought that he was a saint for handling me, but then I remembered I was a saint too.
"No, because you have perfect boobs." He smirked against my lips and once again sex was saving us from having an argument.
"I suspected that." I faked a sigh as I pulled away from him regretfully, knowing we couldn't hide in his car for a minute longer. I climbed out of his car and waited for him to do the same, both of us walking towards my parents' house slowly. "I have no ring. You're such a bad fiancè." I added as an afterthought, already thinking about a lie that would cover that as I grabbed his strong hand.
"Should I have asked my mom to borrow my grandmothers ring for a few hours?" Noaln asked, glancing sideways at me with a grin on his lips.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head, "Do you have a family ring?"
He shrugged his shoulders, while I wondered if he even wanted to get married some day. He always claimed that he was against it, but I wouldn't be so sure about that. When the right girl, a stupid boring average girl, would come to his life, he'd probably change his mind. "No idea," He admitted.
"You strike me as the type who would buy something flashy instead. White gold or platinum," I said from beside him as we stopped at the door and I knocked.
"You strike me as the type who would tell a man no if you didn't like the ring," He retorted, getting a glare from me just as the door opened and my moms eyes bounced back and forth between us.
"Eva! I was almost afraid you'd cancel on me again," Her mom said, and I dropped Nolan's hand as we embraced each other in a hug.
"Nolan's a very busy man," I replied back to my mom who had broke the hug with me already, moving on to him next.
"Sorry," He said sincerely, his acting skills very good ones. "We'll have to make it up to you guys with a barbecue at Eva's place. Have you ever been there? It's immaculate," He smirked, shooting me a wink behind my mothers back as I glared daggers back at him. When he said things to make everything even more complicated I had the feeling that he hated me.
My mom pulled back with a smile, "I can't wait to see it."
"You already saw it mom." I sighed, closing the door behind us and thinking about a way I'd make Nolan pay for his shittastic ideas. Unfortunately, I knew I couldn't do such a thing since no matter what he did or say, I was in the wrong eventually and he was the one doing me a favor.
She furrowed her brows, looking confused while I felt bad about not being as close to her as I used to. "I thought you said you didn't think it was a good idea pay for rent when you could buy a place." She pointed out.
I forced a smile, knowing she was right, "I bought my old place." I explained, saying the first true thing.
Before any of us could say anything my father joined us with a tired expression on his face, "Hi Eva." He smiled back at me, his smile as forced as mine when he turned to my fake fiance. "Nolan."
"Mr Blunt." He said back with his stupid innocent expression in place, like he was a kid coming out of church, when I knew that he was far from that.
"Long night?" I asked as I hugged my dad, knowing that his working habits were just as bad as mine.
"Long flight." He answered back, his smile getting more genuine.
My mom turned to Nolan, including him in the conversation, "He just came back from Japan." She explained quietly.
His gaze moved to my dad again as we walked to the dining room, "It must be a beautiful place."
"Maybe we should go there for our honeymoon muffin." I suggested as I beamed at him, because two could play this game.
"Japan?" Nolan let his eyebrows shoot up as he shook his head. "I was thinking somewhere warm... the Bahamas maybe."
"I hate the sun," I dismissed his option, wondering why he couldn't agree, not even on a fake destination.
He laughed and look at my mom as he wrapped an arm around my waist to pull me closer to him, "Isn't she cute?"
Her mom smiled and motioned for us to take our places at the table. Nolan sat down in the seat across from me, my parents at each end of the table. "I hope you two brought your appetites. I made enough food for a small village," She carried a platter of meats in, adding it to the center of the table which was already full.
"Nolan's always hungry," I replied, that much was true.
He nodded his head, "This looks amazing. Thank you for having us over."
"Well it was about time we met you," My dad replied in a monotone, not sounding exactly thrilled at meeting him and I was with him there.
"I wanted to meet you but Eva kept taking time...she looks so strong, but she's also insecure on the inside." Nolan said and shot me a look that was supposed to be as sweet as fake.
I, on the other side of the table, was fuming. "Nolan took forever to give me the stability I needed." I retorted, kicking him on the shin from behind the table as my face kept straight.
"It's hard to find a decent man these days." My dad said pointedly, keeping his eyes on my fake fiance. I knew that look, he was ready to call him out as soon as he'd make a wrong move.
I felt the urge to save the situation before it could turn into a mess and smiled at Nolan as I filled my plate with food. "I was lucky to find him." I said eventually.
"Did you set a date yet?" My mom asked, going straight to the point while I tried to remember if she had already asked before and if I had already said something about it. Unfortunately, I was clueless.
"I'd like summer." Nolan cut in, faking a dreamy expression on his face while I wondered why he wasn't an actor. "I can already see her in a white dress, looking like an angel from heaven."
"Summer's too hot and it'd feel like hell instead." I said back, then stuffed my mouth with a bite of meat before I could start insulting him for being so over the top.
My dad's eyes bounced between us, "Do you always disagree on everything?" He asked, his voice suspicious and I couldn't blame him. We were doing this all wrong.
I nodded, then smirked, "Yes. We never get bored." I answered for the both of us.
"That's for certain," Nolan replied, hate radiating from him as he glanced at me. "Eva wants a fall wedding," He added in a more serious tone.
My mom smiled and nodded, both of my parents chewing their food thankfully. "We should start looking at dresses. Have you decided on a designer yet?" She asked after swallowing, looking at me with excitement showing on her face while I tried to come up with a name but it was hard, considering that I had never thought about that before. When I was little I had dreamt of getting married and have kids, a family, but as I grew up and relationships became almost nonexistent I had stopped indulging in that kind of useless thoughts.
"Not yet," I smiled at my mom, avoiding making eye contact with Nolan.
"Are you thinking fall of this year or the next? Either way, there are so many things to take into consideration that we need to get the ball rolling," She persisted while Nolan focused on eating, which was probably for the best.
"We're not in a hurry, we still have time." I said back, basically avoiding to answer to anything.
My mom gave me a look, as if she was studying me or trying to read my thoughts, "But the best places have to be booked months in advance." She retorted, making sense in her mind but not in mine. It wasn't like I was really getting married now, and maybe I never would, only I couldn't say that.
I shrugged as I acted calm and nonchalant, "We'll find the best place for us at the right time."
My dad's eyes moved to Nolan and I tensed, "Don't you get nervous when she talks like that?" He asked, a question that could sound harmless but was everything but. HE was good at being diplomatic, dued to his job, but he was even better at get when someone was lying.
Nolan stopped eating and furrowed his brows, the expression on his face a genuine one. Thank god. "I don't understand what you mean Mr. Blunt."
"I mean." He paused to glance at me a moment while I felt my heart stop beating, "My daughter doesn't sound so sure about getting married."
"But I am." I cut him off. It was funny because in a way, if I didn't find a man to marry, I wouldn't mind keeping the relationship I had with Nolan as it was, whatever it was. Sex mostly.
Nolan shrugged his shoulders and smiled at him, "It's a long engagement... Most people in our industry put their career first." And the second the words left his mouth? I wanted to hit my head against a wall. I agreed with him, he was right, but that wasn't the right thing to say to your fiancè's parents, even if it was all fake.
"Are you saying that your career comes before my daughter? Your fiance?" My dad asked with a stern face.
I set my hand on top of his and gave it a reassuring squeeze, "What Nolan meant is that we're not in a rush. Our careers are very important to the both of us and we'll get married when we're financially stable and able to start our future together, even buy a house together."
Nolan nodded, thank god. "We've started looking at houses in the Presidio... We have big dreams," He smiled all cheesily while she looked at me, using his free hand to cup my cheek and give me a chaste kiss.
My mom had bought it and was swooning over the two of us, "That's a good plan, but let's not beat around the bush here. Eva is pushing thirty years of age and needs to have children soon."
At that, I blinked, beyond surprised that my mom could even think something like that, let alone say it. It had to be her menopause making of her a crazy woman who had no idea of what she was talking about. On one hand I was furious that she could talk to me in that way but on the other it hurt too. I opened my mouth several times before finally speaking, "Thank you for remining me mom." I said simply, the tone of my voice dripping sarcasm, which she ignored in favor of looking at Nolan. Oh god.
We exchanged a look before the nonsense woman spoke to him. "Don't you want children Nolan?" She asked candidly.
Nolan's eyes went back to mine, giving me a questioning look. If I knew him a little I could tell he didn't know if laugh or hit his head against the same wall I wanted to hit too. "Do we want kids?" He repeated, then shrugged, "Sure."
Sure my balls. I turned to my dad, grabbing my glass, "I want wine please." I said in monotone.
As he filled my glass, he looked at Nolan from the corner of his eye, "Do you have siblings?" He asked but then went on, "Because we have Eva only and we want the best for her."
"He has a sister yes, he's perfect for me yes." I answered for him, tempted to start a fight because this dinner was turning into a third degree. Instead, I downed my wine.
"I have a sister," Nolan spoke up. "Shes turning two next month... My mom had her a little late I guess you could say," He grinned, looking a little triumphant for proving my mom wrong.
"Oh," She smiled back at him with a surprised face, not bothering to make eye contact with me despite the pleased look on my face. "So you're already getting practice with children. Is she adorable, Eva?"
I glanced sideways at him. We never opened up with each other and shared. I knew that he had a sister, yes, but I didn't know that he grew up as an only child. I had no idea of what to say.
"Actually I was going to introduce the two of them to each other at Ella's birthday," He smiled at me as I kept my face straight.
I digested his words, knowing that such a thing would never happen. We weren't engaged, his parents didn't need to know the lies I was feeding my parents, so there wouldn't be any birthday I'd go to, but maybe I'd ask Nolan to show me a few pics. I was admittedly curious. "I can't wait." I said eventually and smiled back at him, even squeezing his hand when truth is I couldn't wait to go back to my place and let him f.uck me senseless to forget this whole thing.
"It's weird that you never saw her before." My mom pointed out after a bunch of seconds.
I turned my head to her slowly, wondering what the f.uck was wrong with her. She had any right to have doubts and questions, but she should have kept those in his mind. If Nolan and I were really engaged? I'd be really embarassed by the way she was acting. "You never saw Nolan before either." I retorted.
"That's weird too." My dad cut in.
I pushed my chair a little, setting the napkin that was on my thighs back on the table, "Dinner was delicious-" I started, making it clear that I was done talking about me or talking at all. It was time to go.
"There's still dessert." My mom interjected and gave me the look. The one that made me feel guilty even if I had done nothing, the one that when I was a kid would convince me to do anything and behave.
I forced a smile this time, "Maybe I'll skip that. I don't want to gain weight and become a chubby bride." I said and tried to make it sound silly and casual, failing because I was rarely silly and casual.
"Oh Eva," She rolled her eyes and stood up, already on her way to the kitchen. "You're too skinny if you ask me."
Nolan leaned over to kiss my cheek, "I think you're perfect instead." He smiled wide when I looked at him, my eyes flashing anger while my smile was forced. He couldn't resist grinning wider of course. "My dream girl."
Her dad cleared his throat and when Nolan looked at him, he was staring daggers at him also, "I'm going to use the restroom."
Nolan nodded his head and watched him stand up, setting his hand on my thigh and giving it a squeeze when we were finally alone. "All this baby talk is killing the mood," He said in a hushed voice, frowning as I stopped his hand which was creeping up my thigh.
"Touch me and die," I said flatly, since that was so not the right moment. My eyes widened and I looked down at his lap, "Are you hard right now?"
"Unfortunately," He mumbled.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head, "What happened to the baby talk being a turn off for you?"
His eyes scanned my body before returning to my eyes, "It's hard to look at you and not get turned on."
I parted my lips and a sigh escaped me before I rolled my eyes again, "Never say anything that cheesy to me again."
He laughed, "You need to learn how to take a compliment."
"I've told her the same thing a million times," My mom chose that exact moment to return, perfect timing. "Everywhere I'd take her somewhere, people would stop me to tell me what a beautiful daughter I had and Eva would hide behind me. She hated the attention."
He widened his eyes at me, "Not my Eva."
I resisted the urge to glare at him and focused on my mom instead, "What's for dessert?" I asked and a second later Nolan's hand was sliding under my dress and pressing his middle finger against my clit. Good god. I made this strangled moan-groan sound and cleared my throat, pushing his hand away once more and wanting to kill him. "It smells delicious," I added, my face giving nothing away.
My mom was sliding into her seat and setting another platter on the table, "I made a tart. Where'd your father go?"
"Bathroom," He said from behind her as he returned to the room.
I eyed the tart and smiled, probably the first genuine smile in the whole night, then looked up at my mom. "You made my fave." I said quietly.
"Oh really?" She said back and grinned a little as she cut it into slices and served it.
"She only makes it for you." My dad pointed out nonchalantly and I had the feeling that there's a hint of disappointment in his tone.
Nolan ate a bite, looking completely out of place but oddly comfortable too and I didn't bother to read into that. It was weird, he was weird, I was weird, but as long as we'd survive this all I had no complaints. Kind of. My jaw was already sore at the thought of how many blowj.obs I owned him. "It's delicious." He said after swallowing, basically kissing my mother's a.ss with his charming way before he looked at me. "Why don't you ever make it to me?"
I resisted the urge to glare and shrugged instead, licking my lip, "Mom you still have to give me the recipe."
"I don't know if you can make it as good as your mother does." My dad said with a straight face, his way of both teasing me and challenging me since he knew how competitive I was. I got it from him.
"I'm a damn good cook." I retorted, getting a glare from my mom at the word as if I was 10 all over again.
Nolan set his free hand on my leg and squeezed it, "I confirm." He paused then let out a ridiculous sigh, "If only she wasn't so busy and cooked for me more."
"I wouldn't want you to get chubby my love." I wrinkled my nose at him then stuffed my mouth with the last bite of tart, stopping myself from adding more. To be completely honest I wouldn't mind cooking more, eating alone was something I really hated, but I couldn't pop out in Nolan's kitchen every night. We weren't really a couple and I wasn't his maid either.
Nolan parted his lips but thought better of saying anything stupid and smiled at me instead. My mom on the other hand had already jumped up and disappeared into the kitchen, returning with a lid. "You two can take the leftovers... otherwise your father and I will eat everything," She placed the lid over the tart to cover it and then left it alone. My dad groaned and she gave him a look, "We're not young anymore. We have to watch what we eat."
"Then I look forward to eating the tart again the next time Eva comes over for dinner, which will probably be Thanksgiving," He mumbled under his breath.
My lips opened but Nolan shook his head, "We should make this a weekly thing. I had a great time."
I slowly turned my head in his direction and tried to hide the shock on my gorgeous face before looking at my parents again, "I agree. Dinner was amazing."
"Next time we'll go to your place and let you cook for us," Her mom smiled as the two of us stood up, everyone hugging each other while I kept my distance from Nolan.
"What the fuck was that?" I asked the second we were seated in his car, the tart on my lap and our seatbelts buckled.
"What are you talking about my love?" He grinned as he pulled away from the curb.
"I'm talking about you deciding to see my parents every week, my love." I retorted, not wanting to start b.itching but I was genuinely surprised. In a bad way. Was he out of his mind?
He shrugged as he drove, not bothering to look at me, "Free food every week? Yes please."
I leaned my back against the seat as I tried to imagine this torture every week. I couldn't go through it unless I was high or drunk, sooner or later I'd end up killing Nolan and my parents would find out about this whole stupid mess. "I hope you're planning to go alone, because I'm not coming with you."
"Oh yes you are. With me, deep inside of you." He said seriously as he turned his head enough to show me the naughty grin on his lips. That was the Nolan I was used to have around.
At that I smirked too and relaxed, knowing that letting him f.uck senseless was what I needed to relax. "Now you're finally start to make sense again."