everybody's looking for that something

"Hey handsome." I smirked as I leaned into Travis' office. He was sitting at his desk, his suit coat hung up and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. When he heard my voice he grinned and my heart skipped. He was so fu.cking hot it wasn't even fair.

i'll kiss you harder baby

I ran my arm across my forehead and set my paintbrush down. I'd been painting probably all day but my time at the beach had left me feeling inspired. But I now realized I was also starving. I glanced at the clock on the wall. I had planned to make dinner for Trav and I tonight but there wasn't time anymore.

for better or worse i got you

I heard someone knocking on the door and I knew Trav wasn't home because he wouldn't knock at his own place.

too long to even think of a title

Caleb

I walked into the kitchen, getting away from my sister questioning me about the wedding I was hosting soon and found Tara stirring something. It was different to see her at her place cooking instead of the bakery, but it had the same effect on me. When she saw me she instantly smiled brightly.

we're almost there

"Where are we going?" I asked, turning towards my boyfriend who looked gorgeous in dark blue jeans and a black v-neck t-shirt, his eyes covered by sunglasses as he drove down the highway.
"I'm not telling you Lil stop asking." He shook his head and I sighed dramatically but we both knew i was smiling.

they dish the dirt, it never ends

Colbie
"Hi!" Lila rushes in, pulling her crossbody bag off and setting it next to her as she joins me in the booth of the new little cafe that opened downtown by my office. "Sorry I'm late." She smiles and reaches over the table to kiss my cheek.
"It's okay I finished up some work." I smiled. "You look tan." I pointed out.
"Trav and I went to the beach last weekend." She replied, smiling in the way that only a weekend away with a man could make happen.
"Ahh, no wonder you're all glowy." I smirked at her and she nodded.
"Damn right. It was awesome."
"I bet."
"Did you order drinks?" She asks, looking around for the wait staff. I nodded.
"Iced tea."
"Thanks." She smiled and ran her fingers through her long blonde hair.
"You're hair is getting long. And it's still blonde. I'm surprised." I point out and she laughs but shrugs her shoulders.
"My boyfriend likes it." She says casually.
"Mine has a thing for blondes too." I tap my chin as if I'm thinking. "Must run in the family?" Lila laughs again and I smile. Of all my siblings I'm closest to Lila, even though we're almost the farthest apart in age. Must be something about being the only two girls. Or maybe it's just her. Everyone I know can't resist loving my little sister. There's just something about her.

Lila
"How's my favorite nephew?" I ask, leaning on my elbows as the waiter brings us our teas.
"Great." Colbie smiles. "He just got put in a gifted program." I gasp and clap my hands excitedly.
"Well it's about time. That kid is almost smarter than me." I say seriously as my sister chuckles.
"I'm not sure if that makes me proud or terrified." She admits. "Hows your collection coming?"
"It's good. It's different....but I like the change." I smile, loving how my work is challenging me again. "It's hard sometimes for me to push out of my boundaries but definitely worth it."
"You're so vague." Colbie laughs. "But I can't wait to see it."
"Derrick got cast in a WB show for next season." I say and Colbie nods.
"That's right, something about a rich family with a dark secret?" I nodded.
"That's pretty much all WB shows." I laugh. "How's Jax?" I add since I'd been feeling guilty about not calling him back but also still a little angry at him. He should be reaching out to Travis not me.
"Practically perfect." She sighs. "You haven't been running with him?" She asks. I wonder how much about Trav and his fight he's told her. I could see my friend wanting to keep Colbie out of the bad things in his life, but was that a real relationship? Fu.ck I keep judging them. It's not like I have it all together.
"I've been busy." I shrug and take another sip of my drink.
"Oh." Colbie frowns. "I thought you ran together a lot." I nodded.
"I'll call him tomorrow." I promise her and myself out loud. After all Jax was my friend, and I missed him. Even if he was acting like a jerk.

Colbie
I had a feeling she wasn't telling me everything but I wasn't really sure I wanted to know so I blew past it.
"But you had fun with Travis?" She perked up.
"God yes. I was about ready to tie him to the bed for a change I missed spending time with him so much." I blinked at my sister.
"Does he really do that?" I ask under my breath.
"Do what?" We pause to order soup and salads before I turn back to her.
"Tie you to the bed." Lila laughs.
"Oh. Yes." She smirks, and a rosy blush forms on her cheeks.
"....And you're into that?" I ask. She gives me a glare.
"I'm not sure I'm comfortable talking about what I like in bed with my sister." She admits and it's my turn to blush. "Also I'm pretty surprised Jax has never tied you up." She adds with a laugh.
"Why? Does he like that?!" I ask, almost too loud. She shrugs.
"I dunno. He just strikes me as kinda kinky I guess." I widen my eyes further as I think back on everything Jax and I had done. It was all completely mind blowing to me but if we were being honest it was kind of vanilla sex wise.
"Why?" I ask.
"......because he's a Cole?" She shrugs and then looks back at me concerned. "You look like I just stole all your barbies Colbs, what's wrong?"
"Jax isn't kinky with me." I admit. "At all." Lila folds her arms over her chest and sits back.

Lila
I suddenly feel as if I'd said the wrong things. Not that any of it wasn't true, but by the look on my sisters face I'd just opened an entirely new bucket of insecurities. And honestly I was kind of surprised. Tying me to the bed was one of the tamer things I'd done with Travis, honestly I'd assumed most people did that, especially Jax. The girls he was with before Colbie didn't look inexperienced.
"Is it bad?" I ask finally, knowing my sisters newly found healthy glow meant she was actually getting laid so it couldn't be all bad.
"No...." she trails off.
"That's not very convincing." I point out, leaning in. I have to admit I had a strange curiosity. I'd always assumed Jax would be as awesome in bed as he was out. If not more so.
"I mean for me it's epic." She says seriously. "But I don't have much to compare it to....do you think he's holding back with me?" I thought about it. That didn't really sounds like the Jax I knew but he'd also never dated anyone like Colbie. He'd never had feelings like the ones he had for her.
"I don't know." I admitted and she turned even paler.

Colbie
"Well what in the hell am I supposed to do!?" I ask, 'What if he gets bored?!" Lila reaches out and grabs my hands.
"Colbie, slow down." She says with wide eyes. "Jax loves you. He wouldn't dump you for that." She adds, reading my mind like always. "Do you do this with him too?" She asks gently.
"....do what?"
"Freak out over little things?" I pout. I did. I wasn't entirely sure why he hung around I was such an awful girlfriend. But god I loved him so much.
"This isn't exactly a little thing. You do remember my husband leaving me to have sex with a 21 year old right?"
"That wasn't because you weren't good in bed." She rolls her eyes. "It was because he was a fucking moron who thought with his tiny dick." I let myself smirk at her words. She always said the things about Nick that I wanted to, but felt bad because it was the father of my child. Still hearing someone say it was therapeutic.
"Still...."
"Do you want to be kinky with Jax?" She asks, cringing a little as she clearly tries not to think about it. That's when I stop and really think, putting a million different fantasies into my head at once....but they aren't all just sex...though a few very x rated ones are front and center. But what I really see is a life. A future.
"I want everything with him." I admit softly. Lila softens as her eyes widen and she shakes her head.
"Damn you really are in love aren't you?" She says almost in awe.
"Completely." I admit, feeling my eyes tear up a little at how deep my emotions run.
"Oh my god do not cry right now. Are you PMSing right now? Because you're the dominant one and if I hang out with you all day and you're PMSing I'm going to start like a week early." She snaps and I break out laughing as the waiter brings our fod, looking at us both awkwardly when Lil starts laughing too.
"Don't worry sis I'm not due till next week too." I say through my laughter.
"Good." She nods and bites into her salad. "Did you hear Reece got asked to mentor on Derrick's show?" And we're right back to family, moving on from our last topic. I wished I could move on like Lila, but god. What if......

so close together, so far apart

I brushed past the line outside of the trendy bar/club downtown, winking at the bouncer as I straightened out my faux leather dress. I was running late tonight and was meeting Trav and his friends here instead of at dinner.

“Lila.” Jax grinned surprisingly Colbie free tonight. Not like my sister was a big club hopper, but I’d think he’d choose her over us. Then again maybe my little push to hang out with his brother had worked. I knew Trav was missing his boy time, not that I’d ever tell him I said anything to Jax.

“Hey Jax.” I smiled. “How’s my big sister doing?”

“Ridiculously perfect as usual. She’s going to the movies with Will tonight. Want a beer?” I shook my head.

“Vodka martini please.” Jax rolled his eyes at my taste before he went over to the bar. I had felt Trav’s eyes on me since I walked in even without actually seeing him, but now I was looking right into his gorgeous face and the connection between us. Ugh it was always intense. He was standing up, leaning against the wall as his group of friends laughed and drank. I walked up to him with a smile, sliding my hands up his chest.

“You got a date gorgeous?” I asked, wiggling my brows.

“She’s late.” He replied in his usual monotone, though his eyes were smiling. I widened mine in fake shock.

“What kind of a girl would be late for a man like you?” I laughed.

“A very busy one apparently.” He finally grinned and I reached up to kiss him.

“Hi baby, I missed you today.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me back.

“You look fuc.king fantastic. What are you wearing under that dress?” I shrugged.

“You’ll have to wait and see.” I smirked, loving just flirting with him, even though he was mine. Trav faked a frown and slid his hands down to my lower back, pulling me in.

"But I don't like waiting." he said and smirked when I laughed, "You know what, we should go home." I shook my head and slid my hands down his shirt.

"Nuh uh, we're going to stay with your friend and have fun."

"Because we don't have fun when we're alone?” He teased, making a shiver go through my body because yes we did. Even when we did nothing together I had fun with him. I rolled my eyes as I leaned into him.

"Are you happy that Jax is here too?" I asked, ignoring his silliness. He shrugged.

"It's different when we're with our friends too." he pointed out and I rolled my eyes since I’d tried but my man was hard to please.

"God Trav, are you ever happy?"

"I'm happy when I'm with you." He answered, a genuine and knowing grin appearing on his handsome face. I sighed and smiled before leaning in to kiss him because who could resist? No one.

"Good answer Mr Cole." I purred, "You know how to distract me."

"Always." He kept grinning, this time not stopping his hands at my back but reaching for my as.s and squeezing.

"Trav!" I squealed, wiggling in his hold but he didn’t let me.

"Don't act shy baby, it doesn't suit you." he said in amused tone.

"We're with your friends, I don't want them to think my a.ss is taking your attention away from them." I teased him. "I should go say hi." Trav kissed my forehead and smiled.

"I'll go get a drink." I stopped before turning to him again.

"Is Karlie here?" I asked slowly.

"No, or we wouldn't be." Trav answered simply.

"It wouldn't be a problem for me if she was here."

"It would be for me." he pointed out and before I could say something he kept talking.. "And no arguing about that tonight. Or anything else."

“Yeah we’ll see.” I laughed.

“There she is. Too busy taking over the art world to have dinner with us?” Matt asked, grinning over at me. I’d recognized that besides Jax he was the one Trav was closest too. He was gorgeous, in a completely opposite way than my boyfriend. He actually reminded me a lot of Riley. Where Travis was light haired and closed off, Matt was dark but much more open, though in a more sarcastic way than Jax. I could tell why they got along.

“Guilty as charged.” I smiled and he reached over to kiss me on the cheek.

“At least I still get to see you in that dress.” Travis snorted behind me and wrapped an arm around my waist.

“Go find your own woman.” He smirked at his friend.

“I have plenty.” Matt wiggled his brows at me and I laughed.

“Just wait till you fall for one. You’ll be as love sick as him.” I nodded over to Jax who was busy cooing at his phone which meant his Colbie free night was really anything but.

“Shi.t. That thing with your sister and Jax is crazy.” He shook his head. ‘I didn’t think I’d see the day when he went crazy over a girl, and she has a kid right?” I nodded.

“A teenager.” Trav added from behind me and I could feel the tension in him.

“What the fu.ck is he thinking?” Matt asked shaking his head. “What the fu.ck are any of you thinking, going and falling in love and getting boring.”

“Who the hell said anything about getting boring.” I said quickly. “Boring girls don’t wear heels this high.” Both Travis and Matt took a second to appreciate my sky high red Valentino’s, a special gift to myself.

“Those are some fu.ck me heels if I ever saw them.” Trav whispered into my ear. I grinned.

“It matches what’s under my dress.” I replied back, not bothering to be quiet. I was in a relationship, I didn’t care who heard me.

“Okay, okay you’re not boring stop talking.” Matt said holding his hands over his ears as I laughed. I smiled over at a red haired leggy girl who was one of the girls in the group, nursing a beer and trying to look anywhere but over at us.

“Whats up with Perrie?” I asked, making Matt scratch the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Um. I dunno.” He shrugged.

“She’s been quiet all night.” Travis added, shrugging. I liked Perrie. She was easy to talk to and one of the few girls he hadn’t slept with before me.

“She looks…she looks like she’s avoiding you.” I pointed out to Matt. He shrugged.

“Maybe.” I narrowed my eyes at him because I had some pretty good intuition and he was giving me guilty guy face.

“Did something happen between you two?” I asked, making Travis perk up.

“What?”

"Nope." Matt answered, ignoring us and shrugging.

"Okay." I tucked my hair behind my ear as I looked over Matt. I didn’t believe him for a second, but then I had a lot of brothers. I pretty much knew when a man was lying. "I'm going to talk with Perrie. But I won't tell you anything of what she'll say."

“If you need Lila on your side? You better tell her what happened." Travis said, seeming on the verge of laughing at my Sherlock behavior. Matt sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He really was very handsome. He was no Cole but he had an Abercrombie model kind of look that was very sexy. I was surprised he was still single. Or maybe not surprised at all.

"Remember my birthday party?" He asked us.

"No. You didn't even invite me!" I widened my eyes, and pouted, not remembering anything about a birthday. I hadn’t forgotten a present had I? Trav laughed and pulled him against me.

"He did. You were too drunk to even walk." I blushed as I remembered the night I’d really let loose a few weeks ago. I did forget a present. Fu.ck.

"Oh. That was your birthday, right." I said, making a mental note to get him a gift card or something. Maybe a lap dance.

"Don't worry Lila, I have huge holes in my memory too." He added, the way he said it showing he regretted nothing.

"The thing is, when we get so drunk I usually end up being an idiot with your boyfriend." He explained, focusing on me. "But he was too busy talking care of you so I ended up with Perrie."

"Damn man, you can't even survive one night without me?" Travis teased him, letting out a laugh, "No wonder why she looks like she wants to be anywhere around you, she'd been crushing on you for years and now you're treating her like nothing ever happened."

"I don't know, it was a weird situation and I didn't know what I was doing or thinking."

"God, you two are awful." I rolled my eyes and Travis kissed the top of my head.

"I did nothing."

"It's your fault Lila, if Trav had been with me I wouldn't have done anything." Matt said seriously before laughing himself. Though I wasn’t exactly sure that was true. Perrie was beautiful and with the addition of booze? I was surprised he hadn’t tried anything on her sooner really.

"I feel bad for Perrie." I sighed.

"Me too." Travis agreed, always a loyal friend no matter what.

"What happened to Perrie?" Jax asked, running up to us with a smile.

"Ask your phone, maybe you'll get a text." Trav replied, his tone too bitter for my liking and I elbowed him softly.

“What?” Jax blinked up at us, completely oblivious to his brother’s attitude towards him.

“Was it good?” I asked, ignoring the Cole’s in favor for Matt. All three boys turned to look at me.

“Was what good?” Jax asked at the same time Travis said.

“Did you really want the details?”

“It was good.” Matt nodded, taking a long sip of his beer.

“I’m so lost.” Jax admitted. “Who was what good with?” I laughed at the confused look on Jax’s face and Matt sighed as Travis just grunted.

“Perrie and Matt drunk fu.cked on his birthday.” I explained seriously. Jax’s eyes widened as Travis laughed at my bluntness and Matt groaned.

“When you put it like that it sounds worse than it is.”

“….so why aren’t you with her now?” I asked seriously. He blinked back at me.

“I don’t want a girlfriend.” He explained. “I especially don’t want a girl who’s my friend to be my girlfriend. That never works out.”

“You would know.” Travis reminded me.

“Riley wasn’t really ever my boyfriend.” Matt’s brows raised as he motioned to the waitress that we were going to need another round.

“Who’s Riley.”

“One of my friends.”

“Who she used to sleep with.” Travis added. I nodded and shrugged.

“So things aren’t weird with you two?” I cringed, because honestly they weren’t the same by any means. But it wasn’t like the friendship was ruined or anything.

“It’s kind of weird.” I admitted.

“See? I don’t need that.” Matt stated.

“Dude. It’s weird now.” Travis pointed out.

“You seriously slept with Perrie?” Jax whispered yelled, seeming to only just get into the conversation.

“You’re going to judge him? I’m surprised you haven’t eloped to Vegas with Colbie.” Trav said under his breath.

“I just might.” Jax’s whole face actually lit up at the idea and I felt my eyes widen.

“God please tell me you’re kidding.” I said. Travis groaned and rolled his eyes as I could see his thoughts going fast in his head.

"I'm tired of this s.hit." he muttered under his breath and pulled away from me, "I'm getting another drink."

"Get me one please, since Jax forgot the one I asked him like one hour ago." I said narrowing my eyes on him. Travis just grunted and I resisted the urge to slap some sense into Jax.

“You’re pissing him off.” I said seriously.

“Everything pisses him off. I don’t know why it’s not like he had a dramatic childhood.” He shook his head.

“Don’t blame this on him, you’re not being a good brother or a good friend.”

“How so?! So I see Colbie a lot, he sees you a lot too. I don’t want to miss any time I have with her, I don’t get a lot.”

“But you’re not with her now and you’re still glued to your phone instead of having fun.” He muttered something under his breath that sounded like “Because I’d rather be with her.”

“Oh dear god. You should fight your own battles I’m not helping you anymore.” I replied, watching as Zoe almost snuggled up to Travis. That was my cue to step in. I walked to the bar and grabbed my drink from Travis before narrowing my eyes at her but before I could say something he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer.

"I have to talk to my girlfriend, sorry." He told to Zoe then headed outside with me, "No need to jump to her throat." I teased her.

“She looks at you like she’s undressing you.” I shrugged.

“She’s not the only woman who does.” He pointed out, not bothering to deny it.

“Yeah but she’s the only one you give your friendship to.” He nodded.

“How does your Riley look at you?” He asked slowly. I shrugged.

“Doesn’t matter. You don’t ever see him.” Or my friends. Or my family. I thought in my head, my stomach cringing a little at the thought. He narrowed his eyes at me as if he was reading my mind.

“True.” He said finally, blowing smoke out his mouth. I swallowed and decided to take a little risk.

“Do you want to meet my friends?” I asked, feeling the hope pour on my face because I was pretty transparent and even more readable to Travis who knew me almost better than I knew myself.

“Okay.” He shrugged and I felt a little victory in my head as I smiled. It was a little thing to some but for Travis is was almost a miracle. Letting me into his life was easy for him, but he seemed to have a hard time coming into mine.

“Okay.” I agreed, leaning my back against the wall of the building as we stood in a cozy silence for a few moments, my head resting against his shoulder.

“I should talk to Perrie.” I said casually, saying the first thing that popped into my head.

“You should. You’re better at talking.” He agreed.

“Do you think they could work?” I asked, wrapping my arms around his waist and setting my chin against his broad chest.

“I’m apparently a bad judge of who could and couldn’t work.” He replied, his voice laced with annoyance.

“Would you have the same problem with Jax if he was dating someone besides Colbie?” I asked, knowing that he had nothing against my sister, if anything he seemed to think more like Jax wasn’t good enough for her, but I had the sneaking suspicion that he also just felt ignored by his best friend. Which was adorable, but he’d never hear that from me.

“If he was still being ridiculous about it yes.” He agreed.

“What’s ridiculous about falling in love?” I asked, knowing that the way we did it had been completely opposite from the bliss filled fairy tale Jax and Colbie were having. Falling in love with Jax had felt more like being kidnapped and held against my will.

“Theyr’e not in love.’ He scoffed, lighting another and I knew I should stop pissing him off when he was smoking because he’d just end up killing himself faster.

“Stop smoking.” I glared. He raised a brow at me and then grumbled as he put out the cigarette.

“Let’s go inside.”

“Want to go home instead?” I asked, wiggling my brows suggestively.

“No I want to make you wait.” He replied, sounding casual but with a hint of bite in his voice that we both knew made me crazy for him.

“Tease.” He grinned wider and stopped to pull my hand and bring me flush against his body.

"Wait a moment." He almost whispered before cupping my face and pressing his mouth against mine hard, devouring me, making me melt into him easily.

"You're not going to make it easy, are you?" I asked with a grin against his lips.

"Nope." he shrugged and led me back to where our friends were. At a first glance I could tell that nothing had happened, Perrie was still avoiding Matt, Matt was still drinking and Jax was still on his phone. "Jax could've stayed home." Travis whispered and I glared at him even though I knew he would probably have rather done just that anyways.

"Travis. Don't start." I was already super sick of their drama. Ryan found his way between us, wrapping his arms around our shoulders and smelling of beer and probably whiskey.

"Are you fighting?" He teased us with a ridiculous grin on his face.

"No." Trav said back and pulled away from him, then grabbed me and smirked, "Leave my girl alone."

"Friends are supposed to share." He said seriously before chuckling.

"He'd never share anything, let alone Lila." Matt cut into the conversation.

"Damn right." He nodded, pulling me closer and making my stomach flip a little. Perrie joined us too, timidly,

"He's a charming old man." She teased, since she was closer to my age.

"He's turning even older soon." I shot him a big grin, looking up and setting my hand on his chest while he rolled his eyes in response.

"Next week!" Matt said with a little too much enthusiasm that show how he had been drinking too, "What are you going to do, we need to celebrate."

"Celebrate all you want, but without me." He grinned at his friends and they groaned.

"Boo!" Ryan protested, "You're not even turning 40 yet, you're allowed to give us an excuse to drink.

"Since when do you need one?" he pointed out.

"I could cook and you guys can come over!" I suggested and Travis shot me an amused and adoring look.

"No thank you baby."

“I could do that!” I protested.

“Come over? Are you two finally living together?” Ryan asked. I widened my eyes and Travis shook his head.

“You know we’re not. How drunk are you?” He asked, raising a brow at his friend.

“I dunno you’ve been with Lila way longer than you were with Kylie before you moved in together.” He shrugged. His words hit me like a blow to the chest and I watched Travis’ eyes go cold.

“Shut the fu.ck up Ryan.” Matt shook his head.

“What?” He asked, his words slow and slurred. I took a deep breath, enjoying the night too much to worry about the implications this information had.

“They’re just worried that Trav will pout because I don’t want to share a bathroom with him.” I joked, though it wasn’t true. We’d never spoken about moving in together, it wasn’t really even on my radar. Logically I thought it would happen but we both loved our houses and our independence and it would have to take a pretty big relationship change to move in. I mean where would we move? My place? His? Somewhere completely new? I shook my head of the thought.

“Because your bathroom is a mess and you don’t want me falling on some lotions and killing myself.” He teased back, seeming to relax at my joke. I shrugged.

“It’s a womans prerogative to have many many lotions.” I replied.

“I’m not sure why…but you’re hotter to me all of a sudden.” Matt smirked and I laughed while Travis rolled his eyes.

“I have only dirty old bastards as friends.” He said into his drink.

“Where is Karlie anyways?” Perrie asked and I tensed again. Running my hands through my hair. I didn’t have a silly joke to say about this one. Honestly I wasn’t sure if she didn’t want to be there because I was, or if Travis had told her not to come, or if she just had something else to do. I felt kind of like I was messing up their friend group. Clearly Karlie had been a big part of it. I wondered if they resented me for it.

"She wasn't feeling good." Trav answered simply, not giving anyway too much. I shot him a look.

"Let's go to the counter I want a drink."

"I'll get you one." Jax offered.

"You already forgot before." I replied and he mumbled something under his breath.

"Take care of your girlfriend, I'll take care of mine." Trav spat and without another glance at his brother he led me to the counter.

"You're really mad at Jax, aren't you?" I finally asked, seeing that his annoyance was a little more than just that.

"Yes." He said shortly then looked at the bartender, keeping his hand on my lower back possessively. "One vodka and one whiskey." I pursed my lips and tried to decide whether to confront him with Karlie or Jax.

"Why isn't Karlie here?" I asked, my body making the decision for me.

"I already answered that, didn't I?" he asked, distracting me as he leaned in and kissed behind my ear softly, making a shiver run through my body.

"Is she sick like...like she was the night she came to your house?" I went on, setting my hands on his large forearms and pulling him close, "Or she's not here because of me?"

"She got a flu or something, stop overthinking baby." He answered before reaching for the full glass and downing half of it in one sip.

"But I don't want your friend to resent me if I ever was the reason why Karlie wouldn't be with them." I added, under my breath. Travis smiled at me and then reached down to kiss me softly.

"It's not going to happen. Stop now baby."

“…Okay.” I was never the girl who cared if she was popular or not, but I hated being liked just because I was someones girlfriend. That had happened to me in high school. I was nobody until I started dating Riley and then suddenly I was everyone’s friend. I didn’t know if they liked me for me or for him and it was super annoying.

“What are you thinking?” he asked. I sighed and shrugged.

“I just hope they like me.” I said seriously.

“They do. Trust me.” I nodded, knowing that at least one of them absolutely didn’t like me and she was their friend first. If they took her side I couldn’t even blame them.

“I hope so.” I said, since I genuinely liked every person here tonight. Travis leaned down and kissed up my neck slowly, his teeth catching my ear and tugging, making me gasp and press into him.

“You think too fu.cking much.” He growled, sending shocks straight to my core. I did. Except when he was touching me. I lost all thought then.

“Travis.” I moaned softly and he pulled me closer.

“You’re so beautiful.” He said softly, his voice rough as always but his words sending warm heat through my body. I slid my hands up his chest and into his hair before pulling him down into a kiss that I needed, a slow, sweet but still slightly rough kiss that left me forgetting everything but how much I loved him. Being with him. Around him.

“How can I help with Jax?’ I asked when I pulled away and caught my breath, resisting the urge to ask him to head into the bathroom for a quickie.

“You can’t.” he shook his head, nodding to the bartender for another.

“What’s the real issue there anyways baby? Do you think it will be different for us if they don’t work out? They have nothing to do with you and me, and I’ll admit, I’ll be pissed if he hurts my sister but he was my friend first too.”

"I don't really want to talk about it Lil." He said quietly, focusing on staring into his glass, not really angry just…he seemed sad.

"You never want to talk about it." I said slowly. Daring, pushing him when I knew no one else would.



"We're out, can't we just drink and have fun?" he asked.

"If you keep drinking you'll end up saying something to Jax you'll regret instead." I pointed out, both of us knowing we were almost as stubborn as the other.

"I don't understand how they can be so naive when they’re supposed to be responsible instead." He started, finally sharing. ""They’re not 18 for f.uck's sake, they can't really believe you fall in love with a snap of your finger and that you'll be together forever."

"Baby, I understand your concern, but it's not really any of our business." I replied, having my own worried about them, but really it had nothing to do with us. "And whatever happens with them it won't ever affect us."

"Oh really? You'd never take your sister's side?" he spat back, his emotions getting the better of him. "And don't you think that if I had to choose I'd be on Jax's side?"

"You're worrying for things that we don't even know will happen." I sighed, running my hands up his chest.

"I can't help it." he groaned and glanced at his brother, his hands balling into fists for how mad he was.

“Do you feel better at least? Now that you're letting it all now?"

"No." He said with a straight face, then broke into a smirk because apparently it had at least a little. "Can we stop?" I shrugged.

“Can we fool around in the girls bathroom?” I asked, smirking because really I was only half joking.

“Just fool around?” He asked, his grin turning wicked as his eyes traveled shamelessly across my body.

“Whatever.” I shrugged, biting down on my lip before pulling him into a kiss that I probably should have saved for when we were alone. He didn’t’ seem to mind, in fact his hands were tangling in my hair and gripping tight as he used the leverage to pull my head back and deeper into our kiss.

“Ugh. Seriously?” I pulled away to look down at Jax.

“What?” I asked, leaning into Travis as he tensed. God he was so mad. I didn’t fully understand, but I knew it wasn’t good. I mean Adam barely had time to hang out anymore, he had a family. Wasn’t that what Jax was doing? But for some reason it pissed Travis off a lot.

“I’m pretty sure there’s a no dry humping rule here.’ He teased back, completely unaware of how angry he was making his brother.

“It’s a club Jax. I’m pretty sure not dry humping is weird.” I pointed out.

“Jax!” A pretty raven haired girl ran up to the bar and Jax turned a smile towards her that made me tense.

“Hi….” He said slowly.

“Karen.” She said, filling in his blank, but looking offended that she wasn’t memorable enough. “You never called me….”

“Sorry….” Oh god this was awkward. I moved out of Travis’ hold to intervene but he pulled me back.

“Let him get out of his own messes.” He said softly, his hands reaching up to tuck my hair back. I shrugged.

“Whatever.”

“So do you want to dance?” She asked as a last attempt. Poor thing. She really was pretty with big blue eyes and killer curves, but she was no match for my sister.

“I’ll dance with you beautiful.” Ryan said, grabbing her hands and pulling her into his body.

“Oh!” she looked back at Jax as if this was some kind of payback to standing her up.

“Sorry.” She said, laughing her drunk as.s off. Jax shrugged and pulled out his phone.

“Text her one more fu.cking time why don’t you?” Travis finally growled.

“What?” Jax looked up.

“What is she going to leave you if you’re not in contact with her every waking moment?” he went on.

“Um. That was Adam. He wanted to know if I was still coming to dinner on Sunday.” He said slowly, trying to figure Travis out.

“Sure.”

“What the fu.ck is your problem?” Jax asked finally. Awesome. They were both wasted now and this is the time he starts to realize this was a thing.

“Hey Perrie want to dance?” Matt asked, having a great idea by getting the fu.ck out of here.

“Um. Yeah, sure.” She said quickly, her face flushing as he pulled her to the dance floor. Shi.t now I was stuck between them. I didn’t like this.

"Let's go home Lil." he said, grabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers tight to show me how serious he was.

"But-" I started, not knowing where I was going but Jax cut me off anyways.

"Maybe she doesn't want to go home just yet."

"If she doesn't want to she'll let me know, she doesn't need you to speak for her." He spat back, glaring at Jax with barely restrained emotion.

"I don't know, that sounded like an order." He said back, and I groaned, knowing he was just egging Travis on. He took a step closer and glared at him. The Cole brothers were extremely similar, both in height and build but Travis was just a little taller, and he could use it to his advantage when he wanted to.

"Think about your girlfriend, I think about mine." He said between clenched teeth.

"Trav." I said softly, stepping closer to him and resting my hands on his chest as my eyes pleaded up into his. As much as I hated him fighting with his brother I didn’t want to ruin the night either.

"I think about my girlfriend just fine." Jax added, completely ignoring me.

"Every fucking minute." Travis commented bitterly, then tugged at my hand but just as we turned around I felt Jax moving to grab Travis’ arm. "Jax, you don't want to fight with me, trust me."

"What the fuck is wrong with him tonight?!" He asked me, shaking his head and looking beyond frustrated.

"I'm not going to answer that, if he wants you to know he's going to tell you." I said quietly, trying to be patient as I squeezed my man’s hand.

"Leave her out of this." Trav added seriously, shooting him a glare.

"Talk Trav! I don't understand why you're being so damn impossible tonight." He retorted.

"I'm surprised you even took time to notice my mood really. You're here but you spent the whole fucking time glued to your damn phone as if you're a teenager who's going to die if he doesn't talk to his girl for five minutes. You don't go out that much with us anymore, maybe you should not come with us at all if all you're going to do is ignore us and text Colbie all night."

"Do you have a problem with Colbie?" Jax said, a hard almost threatening edge to his voice I’d never heard before.

"No but I have a problem with my brother forgetting the rest of his life just because she's your girlfriend now," he replied, his voice showing anger and hurt which was almost as surprising.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He said so seriously that Travis raised his brows at his brother.



“No?”



“No. I’m here aren’t I?”



“Barely.”



“Oh I’m sorry that I want to talk to my girlfriend. Not everyone has one who makes up her own schedule.” Travis took a dangerous step towards Jax but I got there first.



“Excuse me?” I said sharply. “Did you just insult me?” Jax was at least smart enough to look sorry as he sighed.



“No. Lil…”



“First of all? Screw you for even bringing me into this. Secondly? Colbie own’s a fu.cking company so she actually does make up her own schedule and your insult doesn’t even hold water.”



“But-“



“But what? Own up to your mistakes Jax, you’ve been ignoring everyone for your new girl. Grow up!” I turned to Trav who was looking back at me with a mix of annoyance and amusement. “And you!” I started.



“What-“ I interrupted him and I saw the flash of anger in his eyes but for gods sake both of them were acting like kids.



“If you want to spend more time with Jax then you should just tell him that.”



“Lila.” He said seriously.



“Do I need to call your parents? Or maybe the principal of your elementary school?” I looked between the two of them. Travis barely restrained with annoyance for both of us and Jax looking exhausted and guilty.



“Look.” Jax started. “I didn’t notice I was so lost up in Colbie. I love her.”



“Okay.” Travis said, and I could read the disbelief in his face.



“I don’t know what to do, I have to make time for her and for Will around both their schedules and mine and being alone with her is even harder.”



“And?” Travis said, his arms crossing against his chest.



“And what? You can be mad at me if you want, but I’m doing this blind.” He admitted.



“This isn’t the place Jax.”



“Okay. So let’s go to somewhere it is the place. I don’t want you to be mad at me Trav, it’s only fun when you’re pissed at everyone else.” Jax joked, so much like him, but I didn’t know if it was helping.

"Not tonight." he said shortly but they were finally talking so I turned to look at him but he knew me too well, "Stop." He ordered, making me glare at him.



"Hey Trav, don't take it out on Lil." Jax said quietly.

"You really have to nerve to tell me not to involve her when you were the first one dragging her in our fight?" he retorted.

"I'm sorry Lil." He said and I could hear the sincerity in his voice. I gave him a small smile even though I was still annoyed.

"I know." I paused before I made my face hard, "Try not to have anything more to be sorry about."

"Yeah I'll try." He nodded, then his phone rang. Fuck. "Trav?" He shot his brother a questioning look that didn't need many words.

“If I talk to your right now I'm going to say things I'm going to regret so maybe another night this week, if you'll find the time.”

"Damn you're stubborn." He said flatly, "But okay. I'm going to get a drink someone want one too?"

"Just a moment, I have to talk to Lil for a second." Jax walked towards the bar and I turned towards Trav who looked down at me and then spanked me. Way harder than was appropriate. At least for in public.

"Ouch! Trav!" I protested. "What was that for?!"

"I didn't like how you cut me off first and talked to me then." he explained seriously.
"So what you're pushing me now?!" I spat back at him, annoyed all over again.
"No, I just wanted to spank you." he answered and let out a breath, wrapping his arms around me and burying his face in my neck. Frustrating man, "I'm tired of fighting Lil. I'm exhausted." He confessed, his rare vulnerability making my annoyance dissipate quickly.

I ran my hands up his chest and around his neck, a part of me loving these moments when I got to see him bare and vulnerable. I liked that I was the only one to see this side of him.
“I don’t want to fight with you baby.” I said seriously. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” He pulled back.
“Really?” I knew he agreed with me, he was just surprised that I thought that way but honestly I understood where he was coming from. I knew how important his family was to him and he had a good reason to be angry with Jax.
“Yes. He’s acting silly. But I think it’s because he never got to act silly like this before. Most people get this out of the way a long time ago.”
“Did you?” he asked, raising a brow since we both knew I’d never loved any man before him.
“Kind of.” I shrugged. “It was puppy love with me and Riley in high school, I definitely ignored my family and friends to be with him because it was new and exciting to have his attention.” Travis made a face and I laughed.
“Hey you asked.”
“I didn’tdo that with you.” He pointed out, looking me over as if he was wondering if I took offense to that.
“We’re both pretty independent people baby. Plus it’s not like we were a normal couple in the beginning, but come on didn’t Adam go nuts over Liz in the beginning?”
“They were in high school it’s different.”
“That’s kind of my point baby. But that doesn’t excuse him. He’s being ridiculous and honestly so is Colbie. They’re adults…..I’m worried their puppy love will blow up in their faces.” I admitted. Young love was fun but it was also the most dramatic. With Will in the picture? They couldn’t afford that kind of relationship.
“Yeah.” He nodded, looking over to Jax, who at least wasn’t texting as of now.
“Let’s go home Trav…I want to ignore everyone for my man.” I slipped my hands under his button down and pressed against the smooth skin against his abdomen.
“Hmmm. I guess we can….” He trailed off and I leaned in, nipping at his neck.
“I’ll let you spank me again.” I whispered, my body shivering at the thought.
“You’re a hell of a negotiator.” Travis smirked, his hands grabbing my as.s and pulling me harder into his body.
“I learn from the best.”

you'll do anything for me

“Don’t you have work to do?” I asked, pouring my sister another cup of coffee as I slumped on the chair next to her.

“I have a showing in 3 hours.” She shrugged. “This coffee is awesome.”

“Thanks I added nutmeg.” I smiled and she just blinked at me.

no matter what they say it wont hurt me

Trav kissed the top of my head as I leaned into him. I still felt a little dizzy from the night before where we’d goone out with friends and now it was nice to be lazy. I even slept past 8. Couldn’t remember the last time I did that.

"Next time, I'm going to pick what we watch." Trav said against my hair quietly. I groaned as I looked back up to him.

"It's not like I'm forcing you to watch Frozen." I teased.

dance dance like it's the last last night of your life

Lila

“Seriously guys, we have PG-13 fun happening in like an hour if you want to change we have to go now.” I told Jax and my sister as they played touch football with Will and my brothers. Surprisingly Jax seemed to charm them all, except maybe Reese but even he was wearing down pretty fast. Not that it was that much of a surprise, Jax was an easy guy to like. A part of me wished Travis was the same way but he didn’t even want to come today. To be fair, he had to work but I was pretty sure he scheduled the meeting on purpose in order not to come today. 

let me hear you say you want it all

I grabbed one more dress shirt and a few tee shirts before walking back from Trav’s closet to his bedroom, moving to fold them before setting them in his suitcase.

"The perks of having a girlfriend." he commented in a teasing voice, smirking.

"You could help me packing FOR YOU instead of laying on your bed doing only god knows what." I protested, though a part of me liked being so domestic because it meant we were really working. How we made it from lust and anger fuc.king to love was beyond me, but I loved it.

i'm screaming out loud to guide me give me your strength

i'm screaming out loud to guide me give me your strength by ssaarah

Colbie

give a little more of me baby

I slid my new key into the door at Trav’s place, grinning to myself as I turned the door open and walked into the room. I smiled as Trav looked up at me from the floor with little Poppy his lap. I almost melted on the spot.

"Hey baby." He said quietly, tilting his head up for me to bend over and kiss him quickly.  

"I'm sorry it's late." I sighed, shrugging of my coat before sitting on the couch where Trav’s back was leant against. "Colbie couldn't stop talking." And going in circles about her whatever it was with Jax. Honestly I felt more confused now than I did before we talked.

and so it's been said many times many ways, merry christmas to you

Colbie

"Mom Uncle Reece got me a new bike!!!!" Will was practically jumping up and down as he showed me the state of the art bike Reece had bought him.

"Your uncles spoil you." I laughed.

"Of course we do, he's our only nephew!." Kolton grinned as he ruffled Will's hair.

"He let me try his beer." Will said with his eyes wide.

"Kole!!" I narrowed my eyes on him.

"It was disgusting." Will made a face and all the guys laughed as Lila padded into the room, a glass of spiked eggnog in hand as she handed me a wrapped present.

"Thanks." I grinned.

"You haven't even opened it yet." She laughed as I ripped open the paper to find a painting of Will and I right after he'd won his last game.

"Oh my god Lila."

"Did you paint that?!" Will asked.

"I did." She grinned.

"It's beautiful." I said softly, setting my hand on her leg. "Thank you so much."

"Damn you're good."

"William!" I chided as mom laughed.

"Oh come off it Colbie, if he's in this family he's destined to have a bit of a potty mouth." I mumbled as Mom handed me a glass of eggnog too and I sipped on it slowly.

"Who do you keep texting?"  Derek nudged Reece who shrugged.

"No one."

"....you're not going to talk about her?" Josh teased. "You must really like her." He laughed.

"Are you dating someone?" Lila asked, grinning over at Reece who lets be honest, needed a girlfriend. Of all my brothers he was the most meddling.

"The only one dating someone is you. And we're not all happy about that one." Reece shot her a look.

"Yeah I know how you hate it when I'm happy." She spat back, but I could feel where Reece was coming frome. Lila hadn't been herself without Travis and it had been a little scary.

"My mom is dating someone." Will said, looking up from his new remote control helicopter to inject into the conversation.

"Are you?" Mom asked, beaming over at me as Lila looked nervous and I felt my face flush.

"I met him." Kolton piped up.

"You did?" Lila's eyes were wide as she blinked from him to me.

"He took me to Trentons." I shrugged.

"Who is he?" Parker asked, his eyes narrowed. Reece might be the meddling one, but the oldest Trenton was the most protective. I had to physically restrain him from finding Nick andd kicking his ass when he left me.

"He's-"

Lila

"He's a friend of mine." I piped in, saving Colbie from explaining to our family.

“Is he handsome?” Mom asked, smiling at Colbie.

“Very.” I grinned, since Jax was the second hottest guy I knew.

“Can’t be better looking than me.” Derrick grinned. “Did you hear I was on the sexiest man alive list this year?” I rolled my eyes.

 “You were 15^th.” I pointed out.

“Still top twenty!” He grinned, high fiving Josh.

“And yet you’re not dating anyone.” Colbie teased and Derrick laughed.

“I’m dating lots of someone’s.” He grinned, winking at Will.

“You are all too much like your father.” Mom said, shaking her head. “He never wanted to fall in love either.”

“Oh? Did you trick dad into it then?” Parker teased, the oldest remembering our Dad the most. But I remembered enough. He was crazy about my mom.

“I had my ways.” Mom grinned and Kolton made a face.

“That tone makes me think I don’t want to know your ways.”

“You’re probably right baby.” She said, kissing his cheek and making him wipe it off and shake his head.

“So is it serious with that guy?” Josh asked Colbie. Uh oh, back to my sister. That was a loaded question too, mostly because I didn’t even know the answer. All I knew was that they’d slept together and that he was apparently well endowed, no surprise there.

Colbie

“Um. I don’t think so. I just…..I thought it was time to start dating again.” I licked my lips, aware that my son was in the room.

“He makes mom happy.” Will said seriously. Everyone turned to look at him, including me.

“What do you mean?” Reece asked, narrowing his eyes.

“I mean she’s always laughing and smiling.” Will shrugged. “Even though I never met him I know he makes her happy again.” I felt like I was going to cry.

“What do you mean again baby?” I asked, cupping Will’s face.

“I mean I’ve never seen you smile so much Mom. Not even when dad was around…and after he left? You were so sad all the time.” The room was silent and I took a deep breath.

“I wasn’t sad all the time Will, I just….”

“You were lonely.” Will finished for me. I shook my head.

“I was never lonely. I had you.” Will rolled his eyes.

“I love you mom but you need more than just me.”

“Your kid is too smart for his own good.” Parker said. “I’m going to have to scoop him up for my company as soon as he’s old enough.”

“He got the brains from me.” Kolton grinned.

“Ha.” Josh laughed, but I was barely listening. I hadn’t known how transparent I had been.

Lila

“I have to go to the bathroom. Colbie come with me.”

“You don’t have to go in pairs at home you know.” Derrick pointed out. “What is that about girls?” Josh and Reece shrugged and turned back to the epic lego set one of them had gotten for Will. I dragged my big sister upstairs.

“Okay so spill, what’s going on with you and Jax?” Colbie licked her lips.

“Um….I think we’re dating. Like trial dating.” I blinked.

“What does that mean?” She shrugged.

‘He want’s to prove me something…I’m not really sure what it is.”

“Coblie. This is Jackson we’re talking about.” I reminded her. “I mean he’s a lot of fun but-“

“Stop.” Colbie shook her head and held her hand up to my mouth.

“Mmm?” I spoke against her hand and she sighed as she sat on the edge of the tub and set her head in her hands.

“I’m crazy right? I’m being a terrible person and a terrible mother and-“ It was my turn to stop us.

“Hold on.” I sat down on the top of the toilet and turned towards my sister. “You are not terrible, and you’re certainly not a terrible mother. What the hell Colbie?”

“I know I shouldn’t have gotten involved with Jax in the first place, but god Lila, he makes me feel-“ she stopped and sighed as she looked up at me. “He makes me FEEL.” I nodded. The Cole men had that effect on women.

“What is it that he wants to prove to you?” I asked slowly, thinking I needed to have a talk with my friend myself.

“That he can be with me.” She said softlly.

Colbie

My sister stared at me for a second.

“Like….like a boyfriend?” I shrugged.

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want that?” She asked, ignoring the glaring problems. Like how Jax had never committed to a woman in his whole life, or how I couldn’t make decisions based solely on myself I had Will to think about. But when she asked me all I could say was the truth.

“Yes.” I liked everything about Jackson and everything I learned made me like him more.

“And you’re sure this isn’t some rebound thing from Nick?” she asked.

“No I mean, I wanted it to be, honestly…” I groaned. “Thank god you’re back with Travis or we’d both be a mess.” I sighed.

Lila

“True….Colbie are you falling for Jackson?” She blinked up at me.

“No it’s too soon for that….”

“I think you should give him a chance. I mean as long as you’re not just using him.” Colbie shot me a look.

“What?!”

“Jackson is hot, he’s charming I’m guessing he’s good in bed.”

“Oh god.” Colbie moaned and I laughed.

“I’m just saying he’s still human. If you’re not serious about him too you should cut things off now.” Colbie swallowed as she looked at me.

Colbie

Lila was right. I was trying not to take this too seriously for my own sake, but I didn’t want to hurt Jax either. I didn’t trust relationships but that didn’t mean that he didn’t have real feelings for me. And I think he might.

“I think I am.” I admitted. Lila looked like she was going to burst.

“That’s amazing Colbs.” She leaned in and kissed my cheek.

“Please tell me things in your life are less complicated.” I smirked. We’d both been spending so much time with work and our boys that we hadn’t had time for each other and that was rare. My sister was my best friend.

“Travis gave me a key to his place.” She smiled.

“What? Seriously?” She nodded.

“I’m trying not to make a big deal about it but-“

“Damn my recipe got you much more than laid!” I teased and she rolled her eyes. “See I can say things like that without being jealous because now I’m getting laid.” I winked.

“Thank god for that.” She laughed.

“Hey!” I poked her left side which I knew was the most ticklish and she squealed.

“Sorry but come on it had been like a year.”

“Longer.” I grimaced. “Can I ask you something?

Lila

Colbie’s face had turned serious and I softened to take in her question.

“What’s up?”

“…do you think I was ever really in love with Nick?” I licked my lips and sighed.

“I think you loved the idea of being a family. I think he begged you to marry him and you both thought it was the right thing, but Colbie….you always deserved so much more.”

“I did.” She nodded. “I deserved more.”

“And Will knows that too. You heard how he was talking downstairs. He’s thrilled someone is actually making you happy for once.”

“I’m glad someone is making you happy too.” Colbie smiled at me and I nodded. 

“We’re two pretty lucky bitches huh?” I shot my sister a suggestive look and the sound of her laughter filled the air.

“Must run in the family.”