for better or worse i got you

I heard someone knocking on the door and I knew Trav wasn't home because he wouldn't knock at his own place.

"Please don't be Karlie Please don't be Karlie." I said to myself before I opened the door.
"Jax." I said softly, looking him over slowly. He looked like shi.t. "Trav is not home."
"I know, he's working like a dog. What's new." he muttered under his breath as he made his way inside and almost tripped on the carpet. "F.uck." he cursed. I followed his swaying ass into the kitchen, watching him closely.
"Are you drunk?" I asked after a moment.
"No, hangover." his voice was low and groggy as he sat down on one of the plush chairs by the table.
"Oh Jax." I breathed out, wrapping my arms around him and squeezing tight before I pulled back to wrinkle my nose. 
"You smell like you drank a whole winery." I pointed out.
"It wasn't wine." he replied, rubbing his hands over his face.
"What it was?" He looked at me blankly for a moment and then shook his head.
"I have no idea."
"How are you?" I asked and the question was loaded even if it was a simple one.
"Like s.hit." he answered, looking nervous and upset and angry and a whole host of other emotions. "The mother of my child broke up with me and I don't even know if she's going to keep our baby." he paused, "I swear Lila if she doesn't keep it..." he let his words trail off as he shook his head. "I want this baby. It's my baby and I want to be a father, what did I ever do wrong to deserve this? I gave her nothing but love and loyalty and everything I never gave to anyone before. Why is this happening to me?"
"I don't know." I said softly as I grabbed some medicine and started the coffee maker for my friend.
"You do too you're her sister." He spat back.
"I am. But Jax trust me when I sAy I'm on your side here."
"My side?" He looked back at me as I gave him some pills.
"I think Colbie was wrong to break up with you. You're the best thing that ever happened to her and just because this happened to her before with nick she's running away."
"But it was different with nick!!" He shouted. "Nick didn't love her the way she deserved to be loved and they were kids when she had Will!" He groaned and set his head on the table. "Fu.ck I miss Will too." I ached for him. Why couldn't my sister see how different this was? My god she had a chance at a real amazing family and she was fuc.kig it all up. For both of them.
"Jax I don't think the idea of not keeping this baby is even going to enter Colbie's mind. That's just not who she is."
"She wouldn't even have to have anything to do with the baby. I'd do everything to have it."
"And what....you'd be a single dad raising a child with your job? You wouldn't tell Will anything about his sibling? That would never work."
"Oh so because I don't have a big fancy job like your brothers or Travis I can't do this right? Plenty of normal people raise kids. If anything your family is the weird one. Who has all that kind of success in one house?!"
"Now I know you're just talking out of your as.s." I spat. "You are just as capable of being a success but you chose to be just what you are because it works for you and you never needed the extra responsibility. Not because you couldn't do it."
"Well now I have the responsibility of being a father to a child I'm not able to patent."
"Give Colbie some time Jax....she needs to adjust to the idea that she's going through this again."
"No." I said back, quickly and stubbornly because I was sick of waiting, of giving her time.
"No? That's all?" I asked.
"I waited enough for her. I was patient when she tried to run away the first time we slept together, I was even more patient when she tried to keep a distance from me and I was super patient when she didn't want me to be part of her life completely." He paused to take a deep breath. "I can't do this anymore, not when a baby is involved."
"I don't think you have any other choice Jax." I said slowly.
"I'm trying to think all the different possible scenarios and you know what? I see no happy ending anywhere. I'm tired of fighting alone for this relationship and I understand that she's scared, confused, upset...everything she could be. It makes sense, considering her past. But what I really don't understand and don't accept is how she pushed me away, I should be the one she runs to whenever she needs support and I don't give a f.uck if she doesn't do it because of her ex, I can't pay for someone else's faults." I processed his words, knowing that it was so stupid what they were going through, that they could be happy....but I knew that Trav and I had to go through shi.t before we got to that good place.
"I understand your frustration Jax but now a baby is part of the equation too and maybe you should be patient once again." I said softly.
"No!" he said again, "That's exactly the point! Before I had no rights to ask for anything from her but now I do. And I'd do anything to make this right. I will do anything."
"You're sleep deprived and hangover you're not seeing things clear." I sighed.
"Are you trying to piss me off?" he groaned and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.
"You're looking exactly like Travis right now. It's creepy." I retorted, seeing the Cole temper at full force now. Not that it did anything for me. I'd seen it enough by now.
"I'm not going to make his mistake." he said seriously.
"Not what I meant." I shook my head, as I set my hand on his arm, squeezing it tight.  "I have faith in you, Travis does too."
"Then why you can't think I can take care of my baby?" he asked, this time the tone of his voice almost normal.  "You know how I am Lil. I'm not stupid and I know it'd be hard...and I'd never leave Will out of this, but if this was the only solution I'd take it. It's complicated but it's not my f.ucking fault."
"Are you saying its Colbie's fault she got pregnant because it takes two if I remember my health classes correctly."
"Don't be a smarta.ss with me now Lila." He glared at me and I gave him a soft smile.
"I need you to really listen to me right now okay?" He made a noise that sounded more like a growl but I took that as a yes. "No matter what happens between you and Colbie? You are going to be an amazing father." I said, meaning it so much I could barely say it without choking up. But the man in front of me was more than just my boyfriends brother or my sisters ex. He was one of my best friends.
"If I get to be one at all." Jax shook his head. "I don't want to be without her Lila I love her so much." The vulnerability in his voice broke me and I had half a mind to slap the hell out of my sister.
"She loves you too Jackson I know she does."
"We were in love that morning Lil, everything was fine, we were actually getting somewhere instead of her pulling away from me at every turn. A baby should bring us closer together not drive us apart."
"I agree with you. But this is like déjà vu for Colbie. And that relationship ended really badly. "
"So she should just end this one now?! It doesn't make any sense!!"
"I know. But she's dealing with a lot right now....ever since Nick showed up its even worse-"
"What?!" Jax spun towards me, his eyes blazing as I realized he'd probably heard nothing about that.
"Last week." I swallowed because it was hard for me to talk about Nick with out throwing things. "He wants joint custody of Will." Jackson widened his eyes and he looked like he'd just been hit with a car.
"Wait...he wants what?!"
"Joint custody of Will." I repeated and deflated even if I was more angry than anything. If Colbie would let me I'd kick that mother fu.ckers as.s all the way to the ocean.
"The hell he's going to custody of Will." Jax spat, getting mad for another person he loved. Will. "He's never been there for him and he barely recognize him as his father, he hurt him! I can't believe this a.sshole thinks he can get custody after ignoring him for his whole life!"
"Jax." I interrupted him softly, "You look like your eyes are about to pop out of your skull."
"That's how I am Lil, I told you. I get mad and protective when someone tries to mess with the people I love." he said seriously, groaning. "Why didn't she tell me?" he asked a moment later.
"Because..." I trailed off and then shrugged. Colbie was a Trenton. She was stubborn and lost her mind because of how passionate she was. But she didn't like to fail.
"Because that's what she does. She leaves me out." Jackson said as he shook his head. "She doesn't want my help, I need to get that, and that I can't help her even if I want to."
"I'm sure she would have told you after processing the whole thing." I paused, even if I wasn't sure it was true. "It's awful Jax, she's going crazy over it and now with your baby it's going to be even more complicated."
"I wish I could un-complicate it, but then again, I can't. And you know why?" he asked even though it was rethorical, watching me shake my head, "Because I'm not the one she goes to when things go to hell. I'd be more than happy to stand by her side and give her all the support she needs, both for my baby and for Will. Before Will I didn't even know I could be a decent father...but being with him made me understand I can and I want to."
"You're right." I agreed.
"What?" He snapped but I didn't even flinch. He could snap and yell all he wanted I knew he was still Jax. Which basically meant he was like a teddy bear.
"I think you're right Jax. I think that you and Will and Colbie are meant to be a family with that little baby and I would like nothing more than to strangle Nick for daring to come back." I sighed. "But I can't make Colbie do anything. She's not really talking to anyone."
"She talked to you enough to know that Nick was there." Jax muttered.
"Because I was with Parker at the time when she called him asking for his lawyers phone number."
"Which one is Parker?"
"Not the one who acted like a dumbas.s at the hospital. That's Reece." I grumbled since I wasn't really all that happy with him at the moment. Damn man needed a hobby so he'd stop trying to be everyones father.
"The cop." Jax said, his jaw twitching and wow did he look so much like Travis just then.
"That's the one." I nodded.
"I didn't care for him." I laughed because in the end he was still Jax. Where as Travis had a few much more R rated words about Reece.
"That's a nice way of putting it." I replied before reaching in to kiss Jax on the cheek. "You should tell my sister all these things. Tell her you want to be there for her for the good times and the bad times. That you want to be the man she leans on because you love her."
"I've already-"
"Tell her again Jackson! Or are you giving up so easily?" I asked, setting my hands on my hips and knowing that a Cole man couldn't resist a challenge, no matter what it was.
"That's not what this is! I'm not going to force her to love me Lila that's not fair! She deserves better than that."
"Force you?" I widened my eyes at him. "Colbie is head over heels for you. She has been for a really really long time. It's not forcing. You just might have to force her to listen to your words instead of looking at you like she's seeing her ex husband."
"Did she get a laywer?" Jax asked quietly, ignoring my words.
"Yeah." I nodded. "But I don't know much else."
"How I am supposed to know then?" he asked, looking as frustrated as I felt.
"Ask her."
"As if she'd ever give me an answer." he retorted. "Even if I tied her to a chair and threatened her to burn her house down she'd still tell me nothing."
"That'd be extreme." I said and burst into a laugh since this conversation was super sad and I hated sad.
"It's not funny." he sighed and leaned his head against the table, which had to be pounding.
"I'm sorry I know it's not." I sighed myself, running my hand up and down his back soothingly, "But I'm worried nervous and exasperated. I needed to laugh." he turned his head to peek up at me.
"Because you're cute." He frowned. ""Too bad your cuteness can't help right now."
"Jax, listen to me for once. Talk to her, let her understand that you're not like Nick."
"She should have understood it already by now." he muttered under his breath.
"Jax."
"She's so damn stubborn. More stubborn than you." he groaned, and ran his hands through his hair.
"Maybe I did everything wrong with her and I shouldn't have been so understanding. I always said yes to her, adapted to her life without even blinking, I accepted everything like she wanted."
"It's because you love her." I said softly.
"Travis loves you too but he'd never act like me." he retorted, even if he was wrong. He was one of the most understanding men I knew because he understood me. He always knew what I needed and made sure I got it in his own way.
"Please don't take him as a role model, okay?" I teased.
"I'm going to feel him you said that." he smirked at me but it only lasted a second. "Truth is Lil, I'm scared to talk to her again because if she doesn't change her mind I'll lose her for good and our lives will turn into hell."
"Colbie is emotional right now but she's not stupid." I said seriously. "She just...." I sighed. "She had to grow up really fast when she had Will but I think she missed a lot of the things that make you an adult."
"Colbie runs a super successful business and her son is incredible. She's more adjusted than I am." Jax shook his head.
"Work ethic is something my whole family has kind of perfected and yes, she's an amazing mom because she only ever focused on him. But she only went to one year of college before giving it up to get her realtors licence. She didn't get to be stupid with guys and then learn from her mistakes. Nick is the only thing she has to compare you too and he really fuc.ked her up." Jax grumbled something that sounded like a string of curses under his breath and I tried to keep from chuckling.
"So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that she needs time to figure things out for herself. You know she's still technically married to Nick right? She never pushed him to sign the divorce papers." Jax shook her head.
"I know.....Lila. Does she still love him?" I shook my head quickly.
"No. She was always way too good for him and I think he knew it. Honestly Im pretty sure that's why he left her. She was more successful, she had the big family, she's beautiful and got the parenting thing down really fast. But pushing him would require a different kind of confidence. I think really getting that divorce would be admitting to failure on her part. And Colbie doesn't do failure."
"Sometimes you talk like you're a million years old instead of the baby you are." Jax muttered, his tone have annoyed half amused.
"Yes I'm very wise beyond my years." I agreed, smiling sweetly at him. "Maybe some people might give up but you're not one of them. You're going to have a baby Jax." I said, giving him a soft smile.
"Yeah." he nodded, his eyes wide before he gave me a goofy grin. "I am."
"100 bucks says it'll be a girl and you won't know what to do with her." I teased.
"Thank you for reminding me that I'm awful with babies, even worse with baby girls." he retorted flatly and I chuckled because I knew he'd be amazing instead.
"You just said like 5 minutes ago that you're good with Will."
"I am." he agreed, "Because he's not a baby. He's a teen. But babies...I'm going to be awkward and goofy but I don't care." he shrugged eventually and I knew he didn't care. He was going to be such a great father.
"You're going to be so cute." I almost squealed as I bit down on my lip.
"Let's not get too happy, shall we?" he winced, "I'm still a single father to be at the moment."
"She'll change her mind." I said mosre softly.
"I hope so." he sighed. "I still have to break the news to my parents. To Adam." I leaned my elbow on the table. I knew my family had mixed feelings about it, but they were mostly good.
"How do you think they'll take it?" he sighed and shrugged.
"It's a complicated situation, but they like Colbie, so...I hope they'll be understanding."
"I'm sure they will be, your parents are amazing." I smiled at him as I thought of his parents, so loving and happy and supportive of their incredible sons. I was a lucky girl to be even remotely a part of that.
"How's Trav?" he asked, "I talked to him everyday since this craziness started and he seems fine, but...you know. I want to be sure he really is."
"He seems okay. He works best when he's trying to solve peoples problems." I shrugged, knowing my man well.
"I fuc.ked up with him too. He was the one who was always there for me and the person I was focused on won't stop pushing me away." Jax admitted.
"Did you tell him that?" He nodded.
"Not in so many words..." Jax sighed. "Sometimes I forget he has feelings too he's so....Travis." I laughed because it was more than true.
"He has all the feelings we have, he's just better at hiding them." Except with me. I could read him pretty well by now.
"What about your family?"
"My mother is thrilled actually." I admitted. "She wants a houseful of grandkids and Colbie is the only one giving them."
"Even though it was an accident? Even though we aren't together?" I shrugged.
"If you think I'm wise than you'll think my mother is the wisest woman on earth. She seems to just know when things will work out."
"I like your mom." Jax said simply. "Was it the first time Trav had met her in the hosptial?" I nodded.
"It was the first time he'd met any of them besides Colbie and Reece. Well he met Kolton before but that was before he started sleeping with me." I shrugged.
"Eww. Don't talk about my brother that way." I shoved him.
"You're having a damn baby with my sister I'll talk about your brother however I want. We've been together longer anyways."
"You're perfect for him." he said, a smile that didn't reach his eyes on his handsome face.
"He's perfect for me too." I replied. "My mother said she liked him."
"She met him for two minutes only." Jax blinked back at me.
"She has a good sense for people." I shrugged.
"Oh? So then why did she let Colbie marry Nick?" I growled.
"She hated Nick. We all did. But Colbie does what she wants to do, and she wanted her family to stay together. Honestly we were all kind of relieved when he left her, the only reason my brothers didn't kick his as.s was because they didn't want him going back to her."
"They can still do it now, you know." he retorted with no enthusiasm before he turned his head to look out the window, for once looking his age, or older. And so tired I almost wanted to put him to bed. 
"What are you thinking about Jax?" I asked him after a moment.
"I'm tired. And it's not getting any better anytime soon." he sighed.
"It has to get worse before it gets better." I winked at him. he didn't say anything back and I thought of something good instead. "Did you think about names?"
"What?!" he snorted, "Lila I think it's too early for that."
"I was only trying to make you think about good things." he smirked and I could tell he appreciated the effort.
"If it's a girl we'll call her Lila the second." he teased and I laughed as I rolled my eyes...not that it was a terrible idea.
"God you're so silly."
"If it's a boy we'll go for Travis the terrible." he went on and smiled bigger.
"Travis would love that." I nodded.
"Thank you for being a great friend Lil." he told me softly.
"You're welcome. I hope one day you'll be my brother in law."
"As I'm going to marry Colbie or you're going to marry Travis? I suggest you not to bring that up with him." he teased me again.
"Either."  I laughed....though I was hoping for both...maybe.
"Can I stay for dinner? I could use some company and some real food."
"Aren't you pushing it now?" I widened my eyes and he winked at me.
"I take it as a yes."