Head in the clouds but my gravity's centered. Touch my neck and I'll touch yours.

Head in the clouds but my gravity's centered. Touch my neck and I'll touch yours. by nadiaa featuring a black purse

“You’re all alone tonight?” I heard a voice ask me as I stepped into the club.

Honestly, tonight was going to be hard for me. New Year’s Eve and I was alone, but I couldn’t spend it at home moping.

I looked over at the guy and felt like I was being tested, because the old me would have swooned and I would have probably gone home with him, but I wouldn’t let that happen. I just had to be polite.

as long as you're mine we can stand the test of time

as long as you're mine we can stand the test of time by ssaarah

I watched as Chloe downed another shot of tequlia with the ease of drinking water.
"How many is that exactly?" Chloe turned to glare at me.
"It's New Years Eve, I've been playing the good girl for months I deserve to have some fun." I smirked and shook my head.
"Playing the good girl? You?" she shot me an offended look.
"I haven't been in any tabloids, I haven't had more than a couple glasses of wine at a time, and I haven't gotten laid in basically forever. Good girl." 

it makes my heart ache

it makes my heart ache by ssaarah

I swallowed thickly as I stared down at the positive pregnancy test in my hands. I hadn't even been worried, it was just something I did every month since my periods were always so light. It didn't make sense, I took my pill religiously, how could I be.....I shook my head, the tears had stopped hours ago but I was still in my car in the parking lot, staring at that damn test. I needed to get out of my car and go to work. I told myself to do it about ten times before it actually registered in my body and I did it.

Untitled #1426

Untitled #1426 by sass

I looked past my computer when I noticed someone walking through the door of my office, a glance was enough to take Lila all in. I hadn't seen her since the fight in this same room and I'd lie if I said I had never thought about her. Part of me almost felt guilty for the way I had treated her, but on the other hand I knew that I had been right and it had been better that way. Only now, I realized how much I wanted her still. As I watched her more carefully I noticed a look on her face I had never seen before, she was pale, more than usual, and she was just standing there, not saying a word. "Lila." I broke the silence.

Untitled #1056

Untitled #1056 by ssaarah 





I listened as Corey and Miles talked about....something. I was a little preoccupied, Chloe had told me Mila was going to be here and I was trying to decide how I felt about it. Also being around Miles was a little weird now that I'd slept with his daughter....not that he knew, but still. The man kind of terrified me.
“Milena!” Corey exclaimed pulling her into a hug while she looked right at me.
“Hi Corey.” she smiled sweetly and then took a deep breath as she walked up to me.
“Hi Ames.” she slowly wrapped her arms around me and I swallowed.
“Hi Mila…” I trailed off, pulling her into me tighter instinctively. She sighed and then pulled away.
“You look great.”
“You too."
“Alright, dinner time!” Harper said as she brought out the rack of lamb that smelt delicious.
“Are you staying the night?” Miles wrappped his arms around Mila and she nodded.
“Yeah, I just left my things in my car, including everybody’s presents.” she grinned and that's when i noticed Gabe playing with a puppy on the floor, his face lit up.
“Presents?” Mila grinned.
“Lots. Especially for a little boy.” Mila winked and Gabe gasped and clapped before taking a seat between Ben and Cami and before I knew it, the only two seats left were together and Mila and I were the only ones standing. Of course.
"When did you get back from New York Milena?" Ava grinned as she placed food on her plate.
"Last week actually. I've been spending this week trying to get back into my routine here." Mila smiled.
"Ames felt that way when he came back from school." She told us, "Must be New York."
"New York is amazing Ava." Harper told my sister. "Snooty French woman." She joked with her making everybody laugh.
"Isn't New York amazing though?" Chloe said with a twinkle in her eyes.
"It was. I worked with Diane Von Furstenburg. It was like working with a legend.”
“I’ve always wondered what it was like on that part of the fashion industry…” Chloe smiled.
“It’s amazing.” Mila smiled dreamily and I almost groaned at how pretty she looked.
“Guess what I learned at school Mommy?” Gabe chimed in, digging into his mashed potatoes.
“What?” Cam smiled.
“You have to kiss under mistletoe.” He grinned at everybody.
“Oh yeah?” She laughed. He nodded quickly,
“Aunt Mila and Uncle Ames were underneath it earlier…” He tried to stifle a giggle as I groaned inwardly, “They didn’t kiss.”
“Well not everybody is supposed to kiss underneath the mistletoe… Only if they love each other.”
“They’re family; they do love each other…”
“I do love Ames…” Mila grinned as she leaned over to place a kiss on mycheek, “See? Kiss.”
Gabe seemed to be satisfied with the answer. I side glanced at her and watched as she sighed in relief. I nudged her gently and smirked.
“It can’t be that bad to really kiss me can it?” I questioned without thinking and watched as he eyes widened and her cheeks flushed.
“Um…” she bit her lip and looked to the ground and I nudged her again.
“Lighten up Mila I’m just kidding.” I smirked even though what I really wanted to do was trace her lips with my thumb and pull her lip from her teeth so she would stop teasing me.
“Oh” she said it softly and gave me a sweet smile. “No, by the way. It wouldn’t be that bad I guess.” She smirked and I found myself grinning as she messed with me.
“Not too bad huh?” I laughed and shook my head. “I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not.” She just shrugged and kept biting her damn lip before she looked up at me with something in her eyes, it looked like….hope.
“Watch it Ames, you kind of sound like you’re flirting with me….and we both know that didn’t work.” She said it casually as if it had been long enough for us to joke about it but I could see the hurt in her eyes. I swallowed and then held her gaze.
“We didn’t not work Milena. We never really got a chance to try.” I forced myself to walk away at that point, heading into the living room and admiring the tree Harper had decorated, the gold and deep red ornaments making the room feel even more classy, and the Schon’s had great taste as it was.
“What did you mean?” I heard Mila’s voice and turned, setting my drink on a table and shrugging.
“You said we didn’t work…..I don’t think that’s necessarily a true statement.” She shook her head.
“We’re not together now. Therefore we didn’t work.” She said it forcefully like she was trying to convince herself as much as me. “And it wasn’t you…..It was my fault and I know it….” I held a finger out to her lips, pulling back when a jolt went through me. Just from touching her….damn it.
“Stop talking, We’re not together now because we were never really together. But I think I can speak for both of us when I say there was absolutely nothing wrong with how we…..worked together.” I said the word with extra meaning and I saw a flash of arousal in Milena’s eyes. I knew she was thinking about our night together just as I was as her skin flushed and her eyes dilated just enough to notice.
“Ames….” She trailed off and I couldn’t help it, I reached out and tilted her head up, looking into her pretty eyes that had captivated me for so many years. Nodded up.
“More mistletoe.” I watched her eyes follow mine to the doorway where indeed, the mistletoe was hanging above us. I moved my hand from her chin to cup her head, tangling my fingers in the back of her hair. “I missed you.” I said it almost in a groan. I knew this was wrong. That no matter how much my body wanted her, my mind would never be able to forgive her for what had happened. But damn it my body was in control now as I pulled her head closer and pressed my lips against hers, her body going flush against mine almost instantly but pulling away far too fast.
“Ames… we can’t.” I blinked through my the fog my mind created when I was kissing her before I could speak again.
“What?”
“I spent the last month focusing on myself, trying to better myself and not let a guy define me… and suddenly I’m with you and I feel like it all went away…”
“I don’t mean to make you feel that way Milena… All I’ve thought about this last month is you…” It was true. I picked up the phone over and over, to call, to text, to find out where she was and who she was with. If she was okay.
“But I did a bad thing. I know that…. It was pretty whore-ish. If I do say so myself.” She forced a smile but her words made my whole body stiffen with anger.
“You’re not a whore.” I replied darkly, my voice lower than usual.
“But I can tell Ames… you’re still not over what I did…I can’t just be in a relationship for the sex. That’s what happened with Callum and got me into this mess to begin with…” she sighed and I felt the same hopelessness I knew she was feeling.
“It’s hard.” I admitted.
“I know… I would be upset too if the tables were turned, but we can’t let what happened between us…” she cleared her throat as she shook her head of the images I’m sure were floating in it….they were floating in mine that was for sure…. “Dictate this relationship. Like I said… I can’t just be a physical thing… I can’t and won’t anymore. I deserve better.” I blinked at her honesty, the passion she had for what she was saying in her eyes and I nodded
“You do deserve better than that.” I agreed “A man should want you for more than your body…..as perfect as it might be.” Mila blushed deep again and looked at the ground.
“Ames…” I laughed and tilted her head back up.
“I’m glad you know what you deserve. I don’t want you to think that’s what I wanted. I wasn’t trying to use you….I just…I couldn’t help it.” She smiled that sweet smile again that reached her eyes even though I still saw some sadness.
“I know.” I shook my head and grabbed her hands.
“No…I don’t think you do. I want you to know that the night we shared….I know I told you I just wanted one night. That was a jackass thing for me to say. Not only that, but the minute I let myself kiss you I knew I wanted more than that. I didn’t just want to fuc.k you Milena. You opened something inside of me that I thought was dead and gone after Odette. It wasn’t just your body I was so attracted to. It was your sweetness, your strength…..everything.”
“Ames please stop talking before I humiliate myself by taking back everything I just said and just begging you.” Her eyes pleaded even though she was giving me the hint of a smile.
“I just needed you to know. What happened between us sucked but I was the one who left you doubting how I felt. I should have told you before we slept together that I had changed my mind…I just wanted you so damn badly.”
“I can’t really blame you for that.” Mila smirked and I groaned, tangling my hands in her hair again.
“God….just one more moment of weakness and I swear I’ll let you walk away.” Now I was the hypocrite as I waited for her silent agreement before kissing her again, taking my time to memorize the feel of her lips, the taste, the way she shivered and then let out a tiny moan as my tongue met hers. I kissed her the way I’d thought about kissing her since the moment I woke up alone in bed and it was so hard to pull back and just kiss her forehead as I looked down into her passion fogged eyes.
“You’re so good at that….” She sighed and I laughed again, thinking how cute she managed to be even while driving me insane with how sexy she was too.
“Must be the mistletoe.” I winked and put a distance between us, letting her make the next move, whatever it would be. I was content to talk alone all night, but I could understand if she wanted to walk away.
“I know I should walk away.” she breathed out, “But god help me I can’t… I almost hate you for this hold you have over me Ames…” My chest tightened at her words but I ignored it.
“I’m sorry…” I said softly as I watched her rake her fingers through her long hair.
“God, I don’t know if I can do this…”
“Do what?”
“Be like this with you… I mean we are always like this; these awkward talks where we’re on the border of being friends and then ripping each other’s clothes off… It hurts Ames. It’s hard to look at you be okay when there’s no chance of anything for us.”
“I’m confused.”
“It’s hard Ames, to act like this… When I want you so bad. I feel like I can’t move on because this relationship is in limbo…”
“Mila…”
“I’m sure you feel like it’s no harm, but I feel like hell inside. I mean I had to leave Europe to get you out of my head…"
“You think it’s been easy for me?” I asked, shocked that she couldn’t read me like a book because I wasn’t good and hiding my emotions with her, no matter how much training I had on it. “I’m not “okay” Mila. Not even a little.”
“You act so…..far away from me….”
“Because you ran away! Again! All you ever do is run away from me, and you see what happens when I let myself get close to you again, I can’t help it! If I was okay, I wouldn’t be pulling you into my arms every chance I got.”
“You could have any girl you wanted Ames…” she replied, looking into my eyes and god I wondered what she was thinking to make her say that.
“I haven’t touched a woman since you Milena.” I said seriously, “I haven’t even been on a date.”
“…..why?” she seemed flabbergasted, and why shouldn’t she, after all she’d managed to have a boyfriend since we happened. I cursed under my breath for thinking that again. It was in the past. It was her way to move on….just because my way was very different didn’t mean it was wrong. Just because I hated the idea of another man touching her didn’t meant she didn’t have every right to move on.
“Because I didn’t want to.” It was true. There hadn’t been a woman who interested me in the least bit for the months that Milena was away.
“I wasn’t with anyone while I was away. Ever.” She said and even though I knew it was none of my business and that I shouldn’t still care, relief flooded through me. I felt possessive of her even though we’d barely spoken in months.
“Thank you for telling me.” I could have played it off, but I was glad. Grateful that I had a little peace of mind where she was concerned.
“But this isn’t helping Ames, if anything it’s just making it worse! I know I had a problem being alone and I need to work on that still, but I’m not going to sacrifice my life waiting for a relationship that may or may not happen with you. You’re worth waiting for Ames but I’m not going to wait forever.”
“You’re wrong.” I said darkly, running my hand through my hair and looking away from her. “I’m not worth waiting for. You’d be waiting around for nothing because you’re right. I’m not ready to get over what happened.”
“You have to find a way to forgive me…..” she whispered, though it was more of a plea as she stepped closer and looked up with such vulnerability that it killed me. I let out a deep sigh.
“I forgive you Mila.” I said it for the first time, and I realized that I did. I did forgive her….there was just one problem….”But I’m never going to forget.”
"I understand that... But I can't go back and change it. It happened and it's a part of me. Nothing I say or do will change it." she swallowed, "By the way... Callum was the last person I slept with... Nothing sexual happened between Liam and I..." I looked up, surprised and relieved for some reason.
"Really?"
"The thought of another man..." she cleared her throat, "Touching me... Made me sick to my stomach, so we didn't. I'm being honest when I say I felt guilty after being with Callum."
"Why him?" I asked slowy, feeling like a pathetic jealous loser but wanting to know anyways.
"Because I was drunk and he was there. I know that doesn't change anything but that is the only excuse I can even think of. I'm the first person to say it was so fucking stupid of me. Just don't define me completely that way." she gave me a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"I couldn't..." I said and pulled her back into my arms again.
"If you don't want me to wait for you..." she choked out, "I won't, but don't expect me to just fall into a relationship with someone else. I was serious about fixing myself and my issues."
“I believe you…”
“Hey, lovebirds.” I heard Chloe’s voice interrupt the two of us. "Your Dad is wondering where you disappeared to and unless you want Christmas to be ruined and a whole scene happening. I would come back.” She grinned.
“Yeah, be right there.” Mila said as she took a deep breath while Chloe walked out and she turned back to me.
“We probably shouldn’t… hang out much Ames. I mean if you can’t forget, you don’t want this relationship then we should maybe try to move on?” she suggested.
“Is that what you want?” I asked slowly.
“In a perfect world Ames, I wouldn’t have done what I did and we’d be in a healthy relationship. Expectations don’t always match reality.” she shrugged, “The ball’s in your court Ames… but I won’t wait forever…” she trailed off as she wrapped her cardigan around her waist as she walked back towards the kitchen.

Say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something, I'm giving up on you by nadiaa featuring a multiple strand necklace

I slowly walked through the door and immediately I heard a high pitched squeal as I shut the door behind me and Gabe wrapped his arms around my waist, “Aunt Mila!” He yelled out.

“Hi there cutie!” I grinned, squeezing him tightly.

we're burning one hell of a something

I stood in the door and watched Travis run his hands through his hair as he looked at his computer. God he was so gorgeous. It had barely been a full day since we had been together and already I was craving more and more. 
"Travis?" I finally spoke and a shiver went through me at the way he took me in....I wondered if this was really a buisness meeting after all. 
"Hi Lila, close the door please." he said quietly as he leaned back in his chair and I felt him watching me as I did as much and then walked over too him and took a seat. I crossed my legs and gave him a small smile.
"Did you want to talk to me?" I asked, secretly hoping that instead he would want to not talk at all. My body was buzzing already being so close to him. He nodded, leaning his forarms against his desk but not taking his eyes off me either.
"That's why I called you."
"Shoot." I said in a cheerful voice, "You made me curious." He sighed, long and deep and I noticed the dark circles under his eyes and how tired he looked.
"It's about work." he said flatly.
"I had no doubts about that." I chuckled, though I had to admit I was a little bummed. "You were very clear about that."
"Because I have to." He retorted quickly before going back to business, pushing the documents toward me, "I was looking at the paperwork you gave me about your last project and there's a part missing." I just stared at him and looked through the pages of my project all wrapped up.
"What? I'm sure I sent you everything." I said seriously, looking through the papers. "They sent the cover on production already...I don't understand..." II trailed off before looking back up at him in confusion.
"You forgot to put the cost of the resources you used." he explained in monotone and it seemed.....it seemed like he was barely restraining anger. For what a missing paper? Seriously? I felt my mouth open and shut because honestly this was a little bit of an overreaction.....couldn't he have just e-mailed me?
"I didn't know I had to." I said eventually.
"It was written on the first email I sent you, the one with the list-"
"I remember that." I cut him off, meaning the e-mail, not that i had to write up a finance report. I was a graphic designer, not a money girl. I looked back at him and what I saw was one seriously pissed off alpha male keeping himself in check. What the fuck? "What?" I voiced my thoughts.
"I don't know, you tell me Lila." Travis said coldly as if I had fuckked the entire project over instead of just not sending a paper I hadn't known I needed.
"It has to be slipped my mind, I don't know, I thought I had done everything..." I shrugged, knowing that arguing the validity of my having to fill out any finance papers with him was useless. Even though I was right.
"But you didn't." he said through his teeth, his voice low. Good god. I rolled my eyes, having had about enough of his attitude.
"God Travis, it's not the end of the world, you'll have it tomorrow." From the finance guy I'd ask to write it up, not from me since that wasn't my fucking job
"I don't care if I'll have it tomorrow, you were supposed to give it to me one week ago." he spat, clearly having a hard time holding himself back. "I thought you were more professional than that." I raised my brows and leaned into him from my side of the desk.
"I am, I did a great job. Can't you just give me a couple more hours instead of snapping like this?"
"No." he answered quickly, keeping his eyes on me in some kind of stupid challenge. . "You ran out of time already."
"Travis-"
"I said no. I'm not going to treat you differently just because we fucked, you're just like all the other people working with me, get that into your head."
I stood up so fast my chair wobbled as I glared at him.
"First of all? We didn't "fuck" We're still sleeping together, despite all your protests that it wouldn't happen again. Secondly? You are not my boss, you're not even above me in any way so you have no right to talk to me like that.”
“I-“ he started but I held up my hand.
“Actually you don’t have a right to talk to anyone like that. You’re the one who’s unprofessional.”
“Lila, sit down.”
“No! Are you kidding me? The financial paperwork is YOUR job, not mine. You didn’t ask me to give it to you and even if you did it wouldn’t have been my job, so you can take your “annual report” and shove it up your ass!” I yelled and he took a second to blink back in disbelief, though it didn’t last long.
“That was a very cute tantrum Lila, I’ll be sure to remember your maturity level when I think about using your skills again.”
“MY maturity level?! Says the man who throws a fit over one document and doesn’t bother to find out whose fault that really was?”
“I’m losing my tempter fast so tread carefully.” I rolled my eyes.
“Oh god what doesn’t make you lose your temper?! You’re literally the moodiest man I have ever met in my life.”
“You can leave now.” He glared but I was on a role, all of my pent up emotions towards him were bubbling to the surface and crazy Lila had just gotten started.
“Is that why your ex dumped you? Because you pms’d more than she did?!”  Travis glared at me before talking.
"Get out Lila." he said coldly, though I could hear restraint.
"Why? I pushed one of your buttons, didn't I?" I scoffed, knowing the answer already.
"I said get out." he repeated, making a point that he was done by looking back at his computer as if I had already left. I hadn't. I set my hands on his desk and glared at him.
"I'm not scared Travis."
"There's nothing to be scared of." he said back in monotone, "Get out, I have work to do."  I laughed, because this was completely ridiculous.
"You can't even bring yourself to look at me." I said in a challenging tone, my stomach fllipping when he moved his eyes back to mine slowly, clearly keeping his face emotionless as he stared at me.
"I'm done talking to you."
"Because you're not even able to argue, whatever I say something right that you don't like-"
"You bringing up my ex was a bad move." he cut me off, taking between gritted teeth, his famous control clearly breaking.  "You don't know me enough to bring up anything about my personal life, but mostly we were talking about work and you were really unprofessional, only proving me how I should I never mix work with sex." he paused only to shot me a warning glare when I parted my lips. "I have nothing else to discuss with you Lila." I sat back down and casually crossed a leg over the other.
“Good then you can listen while I discuss things about you to myself.” I spat back my face matching his.
“What is the matter with you?” he asked, his brow cocking as he looked back at me
“My problem? Is that I’m realizing how out of my league you are.” I said simply. He seemed taken aback for a second and folded his arms over his chest.
“What does that even mean?”
“Well professionally? I took my original idea to your boss, who approved it right away, so really the only reason I was working with you was to look at your pretty face. Unprofessional I know but totally worth it.”
“You went to my boss?” he questioned through his teeth, his voice so low if it was any louder it would have shaken the floor.
“Personally? You’re a lying pathetic man with really nothing going for him outside of the bedroom. And not only that, but you think you’re more and act like god’s fuc.king gift to women! ”
“Next time I tell you to get out I’ll call security.” I laughed again, and leaned in slightly.
“And tell them what? That you can’t handle a 23 year old blond waif by yourself?”
“Have you completely lost your mind?” I stood up, the calm before the storm was now over.
“I really must have, because I stupidly thought that we were friends. Friends Travis. But you’re too much of a self-absorbed a.sshole to realize what’s right in front of you!” He stood up too, his hand slamming down on his desk.
“Lower your voice Lila.” He growled, walking up and looking down at me with barely restrained power. I tilted my head to the side as I glared back at him still stone cold.
“Are you going to yell at me now Travis? Or fuc.k me? I never can tell when you look at me like that.”
“This is done. You are clearly too young for-“ I interrupted him again.
“Too young for what?! What is this Travis? We’re not friends, we’re lovers but we’re not together and at work you treat me like I’m beneath you so we’re not equals! My god I hope growing up doesn’t make me like you!! It’s no wonder you’re always so grumpy your life must be miserable!!!”
"Are you done?" Travis asked instead in a calm tone that told me I had gone over the edge. Honestly I was surprised it had taken this long. I watched as he walked around his desk to his chair where he sat down.
"What do you mean I'm done, I'm not talking alone Travis." I spat back, crossing my arms against my chest defensively, hating how he was always telling me what to do. He looked back at me with no recognition, as if I was a stranger that he had no intimite knowledge of. He wa a good liar.
"Yes you are, because I'm not talking to you anymore. As I said before, I have nothing else to say." he said nonchalantly, glancing at the screen of his computer again.
"Don't I even deserve an answer?" I asked, though I wasn't sure what kind of answer I was looking for. Or even what the question was. I knew who Travis was all along, that didn't change because our affair lasted longer than I thought it had. He looked back at me again, raisign a brow and giving me a look of almost pity.
"What was the question again?"
"You're acting like this is nothing." I started, pointing between us.
"But this is nothing." he said simply only voicing what I had been telling myself he thought all along. But something was making me yell back at him, something that I knew he knew.
"I forgot you're a liar too!" I spat back harshly. He smirked, a slow bitter grin that made him look evil and nothing like the man I was falling for.
"Sure Lila. A liar, a self absorbed a.sshole who leads a miserable life. Did I forget anything?" he asked but didn't give me time to speak, his eyes turning ice cold instead of just gorgeous they were nothing. "Why would you want to have something more than nothing with me? Do us both a favor, get out and grow up. Not like me of course." I took a few seconds to process his words, his body language. I knew what he was doing, where this had led. I knew it and I saw it coming but now that it had? I was in denial.
So instead of turning around and walkng out of his stupid office I walked around to his side of the desk and grabbed his collar, pulling him close and slowly pressing my lips against his, feather soft, again and again and again. He was either too pissed or too annoyed to initially respond so I let my tongue slide against his bottom lip and then his hands were tangling in my hair and he was growling loud against my mouth. I sank into the fire that was kissing Travis before litarlly forcing myself to pull away and stare back at him with everything I felt....which had to show in my expression beause I had no idea how to explain i tmyself
"Are you trying to fuck this better Lila?" Travis asked as I caught my breath.
"That wasn't nothing. This isn't fucking nothing. You can pretend like I'm just another notch on your bedpost all the live long day but at the end of it? You know you like me. And that makes me a hell of a lot different from the other girls. And it also means that you're gonna really miss me." And I would really....really fucking miss him. But it was time to go. I sent him a last broken look before turning around and walking out his door. I felt out of control. But wasn't that how he had always made me feel?

someone who hears your prayers someone who cares

someone who hears your prayers someone who cares by sassy

I ran my hand through my hair as I stared at the screen of my computer blankly, my eyes on all the annual report I still had to finish while my mind kept wandering, refusing to focus probably because of the lack of sleep of the night before. "Travis?" Lila's voice broke into the silence of my office and I glanced up, drinking her in like a man dying of thirst, the way I looked at her enough for her to bite down on her lip.
"Hi Lila, close the door please." I said quietly as I leaned back in my chair, watching her as she did as told before walking over a chair and taking a seat. I took a deep breath, wishing we could be there for a session of crazy sex instead of using our time together to talk about work.
She crossed her legs and offered a smile, a cute genuine one that made her look younger than she already was. "Did you want to talk to me?" She asked.
I nodded, leaning my forearms against my desk as I didn't take my eyes away from her. "That's why I called you."

Untitled #78

Untitled #78 by pinklipstiiick featured in audrey hepburn style

Pressing multiple buttons, I watched as my guy fired off shots in every which way. I wasn't a gamer by any means, hell, I sucked at just about every video game I played. But that didn't stop me. Work was keeping me busy, my social life was pretty non existent, and the worst part? I couldn't stop thinking about Scarlet, wondering what she was doing, wondering why she hadn't called me, wondering if I should call her. I had officially turned into a pansy. The doorbell rung right as my guy took a bullet to the chest. Game over. It was Halloween, surprisingly I had a bowl of candy by the door since there were about five kids who lived in the complex. Jumping up, I walked over to the door and pulled it open open, Scar jumping a little as I raised a brow at her. It was like she had read my mind and knew that I was thinking about her. "Scar?" I asked, a little surprised since she hadn't come over in more than a couple of days... It had been weeks instead. The girl confused the hell out of me; one minute acting like my girlfriend and then pushing me away the next. 

I want you to stay

I want you to stay by sassy

I stopped in front of Mason's apartment and took a deep breath as I glanced at the cupcakes in my hands. I wasn't sure if this was a good idea, I hadn't seen him or heard from him in not only what feels like forever but it actually was forever, and the more I thought about it the more I was afraid he could be busy or simply not want to see me. Before I could change my mind I knocked on the door I had been used against so many time as I tried to keep a normal face while I slowly counted to ten in a lame attempt not to freak out and run back to my apartment.
The door finally opened and I jumped a little, hoping that he wouldn't notice as he looked at me with a brow raised. "Scar?" He asked, looking surprised while I wondered if he had gone blind.
"Trick or treat?" I asked and offered a small smile, feeling myself blush like an idiot.

Untitled #1056

Untitled #1056 by ssaarah

“So how did you know Colbie?” I asked Nate, my date for the evening. Instead of admitting to my sister that I was slowly falling deeper and deeper for Coach Cole I said yes when she offered to fix me up. Besides since Travis was nothing more than great sex? I needed to at least try to be interested in other men.

“She sold a house to me.” He grinned. “Got it for 10 grand under the asking price too.” I laughed.

“That sounds like my sister.” I admitted, knowing how hard she worked for her clients.

“If I had known her little sister was such a knockout I would have paid full price and just asked for you.” 

I'm selfish and I'm cold, I promise you I said never again, never again, no never

I'm selfish and I'm cold, I promise you I said never again, never again, no never by sassy 

I walked into the bar with Krissy, or Kimmy, or whatever the brunette's ridiculous name was, my hand on her lower back itching to slide further down because that kind of girl didn't have much else to offer except for her body. If it wasn't for my brother, I had never agreed to take her out for a neverending list of reasons.
"We should sit right there, it give us more privacy." She broke into my thoughts, looking at me with a pout on her lips which was as fake as her tits.
"Sure, what do you have in mind?" I nodded as I teased her, my eyes following the way she was pointing at but stopping on a face I knew well. Lila. With a guy. Fuck me, why I had never run into her in 30 years and now she was everywhere?

I feel it in my bones

I feel it in my bones by sassy

I killed the engine of my car in front of a bar I knew a little too well, it was the place where I often stopped for a drink after work or after Karlie, but tonight it was the bar where I was dropping the girl I had just fucked. Jasmine was a waitress but I had known her long before she started working there, we had gone to the same high school only now there was no trace of the girl she once used to be, her body through the years had transformed completely and she had gone from chubby to thin yet curvy, her face wasn't to die for but her jet black hair made her look generally nice and sexy.
"Are you in the mood for a drink?" She asked, breaking the silence that had filled the space between us during the whole way to the bar. I had gotten what I wanted and I wasn't interested in talking.
I shook my head as I turned it in her direction, my face giving nothing away neither giving her false hope. "I'm fine." I answered quietly, wanting to be at least polite because I wanted to be able to come back to one of my favorite bars.
"Will you walk me to the door at least?" She asked and smiled then bit down on her lip as she stared at me through her dark lashes in what I supposed to be a sexy look, only it didn't have any effect on me.
"Deal." I offered a small smile as I opened the door and got out of my car, bringing a cigarette to my lips and lighting it while I walked toward the passenger side, waiting for her to get out too like the gentleman I wasn't really. Without another word I pushed her door closed behind her as I led her toward the bar, being careful not to make any contact because I didn't want to while I was sure she did instead.
Once in front of the glass door she spun on her heels, her dark locks floating in the air as she turned with a smirk on her full lips, "I had fun." She said simply and, just like I had predicted, she set a hand on my chest, stepping closer to me.

Untitled #1055

Untitled #1055 by ssaarah

“What’s wrong?” Parker surveyed me over his beer and I gave a shrug.

“What do you mean?” He rose a brow and took a swig before looking over where Reese was dancing with what looked to be a group of college cheerleaders.

“I mean this birthday last year by now I was telling you to stop dancing on the tables and put your coat back on.” He smirked, and I laughed as I pushed my hair out of my eyes.

“Maybe 23 is my grown up age.” My oldest brother smiled but he was looking at me pretty seriously. Parker had always been more of a father to me than the rest of my brothers, taking our Dad’s spot when he died and always being there for us even though his business was so successful.

“Come on Tiny, tell me what’s up. It’s not Riley is it? I kicked his ass once I’ll do it again.” I smiled at my brother and shook my head.

“I dunno, you’re getting pretty old.” I smirked as Parker glared at me. “Riley and I are taking a break from….each other…romance wise.” I added, though the fact that he wasn’t even at my party was telling me that maybe we weren’t friends anymore either.

“Finally dumped him?” I rose a brow at my brother. “Come on Lila, you were never as into him as he was into you…..I don’t think I’ve ever seen you into any guy as much as they were into you to be honest….” I thought about Travis and my stomach clenched, knowing that at least one man had way less feelings for me than I had for him. But that would mean admitting I had feelings for him. And I wasn’t going to do that.

“I'm fine Parker. I'm just busy at work and with my art…I'm just a little more mellow this year.” He opened his mouth but I held up my hand. “Please go talk to that pretty girl in the left booth so that she stops pouting.” Parker looked over and her whole face lit up.

“Well if you insist…” he reached over and kissed my cheek. “It’s your birthday Lila, have fun, drink too much, dance. It’s the one night I won’t freak out about it.” I laughed as he walked away and I surveyed as my other brothers, flirted and charmed everyone in the bar, even Will was dancing with one of my friends from the gallery. Trenton men were irresistible no matter how old they were.

I glanced outside and did a double take when I saw Travis walking to the door with a girl hanging all over him. My stomach clenched hard as I watched her do the classic “I just slept with you and I want you to love me right away” dance that was so obvious it made me want to throw up. What the hell?! Why did I care? It wasn’t like I thought I was the only woman he was sleeping with, he made it perfectly clear we weren’t exclusive, and while he clearly could pick up slu.tty women everywhere, I had no desire to even dance with another man. God I hated that.

I watched as the girl reached up to kiss him, wrapping her arms around him. His hands immediately went to her waist and I gripped my glass tight before I watched him push her away before his eyes locked right on mine. I should have looked away, should have ignored this but I couldn’t….I just stared at him. Before I knew it the girl was coming back into the bar, tying an apron around her waist. She was pretty, kind of, nice body and long dark hair but she wasn’t really anything special.

“He was cute.” I teased, playing the girlfriend to see if I could get anything out of her. She looked up and blushed, biting her lip.
“That’s an understatement.” She laughed. “And oh my god in bed….” She shook her head. “There aren’t even words.” She admitted, looking at my drink. “Refill?” I swallowed down the annoying feelings and nodded before I noticed my phone ringing. Travis. What kind of game was he playing?!

 "What do you want?" I snapped without a formal greeting.

"Come outside." He ordered quietly but firm, demanding like he always did. Fu.ck him.

"No."

"I give you ten seconds or I'll get inside and drag you out myself." I rolled my eyes and set my phone back in my purse as I sipped my drink, though even though I had already decided not to let Travis fu.ck with me, I actually believed his threat to come in and despite the fact that I now officially hated that waitress? It would suck to be her and see the guy she slept with immediately move on. It wasn’t her fault Travis was who he was. So I sighed and set my purse on my shoulder before walking out of the bar and watching Travis as he stopped moving towards it. See? He was not bluffing.

“Took you long enough.” He growled as though it was so annoying I didn’t follow orders right away.

“What do you want?” I asked, folding my arms over my chest and glaring at him.

“Why are you here?” he nodded his head towards the bar and I blinked back at him.

“To eat and drink.” I replied in the same monotone. Travis’ own glare softened and he smirked slowly as he took a step closer.

“Still such a smartas.s….” he trailed off slowly, his eyes taking me and making me feel….who cared because I wasn’t going to focus on it.

“Always. Did you need something?”

“You didn’t answer my question.” I widened my eyes and licked my lips.

“I did answer it. Maybe not good enough for you, but then say that.”

“Lila.” He warned and I swear I was about five seconds from exploding on him. He had to be the most infuriating man I had ever met.

“I'm friends with the new bartender Travis why does it matter?!” He looked at me as if he was picking apart my answer to see if it was good enough.

“Okay.” He nodded and I grabbed the cigarette from his mouth and stomped it out with the toe of my heel. “Do you have a problem?” he asked, raising a brow as I looked back up at him.

“Yes.” I answered, not explaining because I didn’t need to.

“Will you come here a lot now?” he asked casually though I could see he was interested.

“Why do you need to choose a new bar to pick up sub-par women in the off chance that you’ll have to bear a few moments with me?” I spat back.

"No." he answered simply, grinning, just to piss me off.

"No what?" I asked, glaring even though I knew he’d ignore it.

"Is that your friend?" he asked, looking behind into the bar. I followed his gaze and say Derrick looking out with a death glare. I tried not to laugh as I turned back.

"No, that's my brother."

"Uhm." God I hated when he said uhm.

"Scared Travis?" I teased, though I knew he wasn’t.  

"Nothing can scare me." he answered simply and sighed, feeling annoyed all over again. I looked away wondering why on earth I was still standing out here with him. "Come on Lil, get in the car."

"What?!"  At first I was shocked, was he seriously trying to get me to go home with him right now? Asshole. "Hell no."

"Scared of a dejavu?" he challenged, and even though I was so mad I could hardly stand it I couldn’t help but flashback to his hands and mouth all over me in his front seat as he took me hard and deep. It had been so good….so annoyingly good.

"I can't leave my own birthday party." I said instead, watching as he let my words soak in.

"Is it your birthday?"

That's what I said." His surprise waned as he grinned slowly, easily, a look that was effortlessly sexy on him and I'm sure he knew it.

"Are you finally turning 18?" he teased but I just glared at him, not in the mood for his antics. Before I could move away he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him, kissing my cheek so softly it sent a chill through me. "Happy birthday Lil." He whispered, his body so close to mine distracting but it was way easier to be mad.

“Did you really think I would get into your car?!” I asked, still furious.

“You liked my car last time.” I shook my head.

“My god what is wrong with you?!” He blinked as if he had absolutely no idea what I was talking about.

“Right now it’s that you’re yelling at me.” He smirked, clearly not bothered at all but amused instead.

“Do you honestly think I would go anywhere with you right now?” I asked. He shrugged.

“You usually don’t mind having me around Lila.”

“Oh, so you want to be friends.” I asked, tilting my head to the side. “We’re friends now is that it? Because last time you told me we weren’t.”

“What exactly is it that you’re so upset about?” he asked, taking a step closer to me and damn it his scent and the proximity of his body still made me a crazy woman despite how awful he was.

“Nothing Travis.”

“Hey where’d the birthday girl jet off to?” Reese’s voice rang out and I turned around.

“Just talking to a co-worker.” I said, faking a smile. “Get back to your party.”

“You sure?” he glared at Travis, who didn’t seem that affected. Admittedly they were evenly matched, about the same height and build, Reese being the biggest of my brothers, but Travis was seriously underestimating how over-protective he was.

“Don’t worry he’ll be leaving in a second. The party need’s its second best-looking Trenton to make up for the best looking one not being there.” I winked at him and he laughed, though his eyes were still on Travis before he went into the bar.

“He doesn’t like me.”

“He doesn’t know you.” I replied. “If he did he’d hate you.” I added before sighing. “Travis what do you really want from me?” Travis slipped his hands into his jeans and shrugged.

"Nothing really." He replied. “I didn't even know you were here, it's not like I'm stalking you."

"But you called me." I paused, crossing my arms against my chest again. . "And forced me to come here outside."

"I didn't know it was your birthday." He said eventually and I felt my eyes roll on their own accord.

"Why do you say it as if it explains everything? It explains nothing Trav!"

"I had no intention to ruin your birthday party, trust me." he said seriously and glanced away, something I noticed he did before he got really angry. Good. We had that in common.

"Then you probably shouldn’t have called me!"

"You're right." He admitted as he reached for another cigarette and set it between his lips, stepping away from me, but still giving me his attention. Ugh his eyes were so gorgeous.  "I'm sorry Lila, go back to your party and have fun. I grabbed his cigarette again and stomped on it.

“Those won’t kill you fast enough so you should give up on trying.”

“I'm going to ask you one more time Lila. What is your problem?” he rose a brow at me and I just stared at him shaking his head.

“I swear you stand there looking at me as if I'm just another crazy girl, like I have no reason for ever being upset and I'm probably just PMSing!”

“Are you?” he was so lucky I didn’t hit him. Honestly the only reason I wasn’t was because the last time I tried to we ended up naked. That was not happening again.

“No. Do you seriously have no consideration for other peoples feelings?! What if you had come in to get me? How do you think that poor girl would have felt. God I hope she doesn’t see me out here with you.” Travis did a slow double take.

“Are you talking about the waitress?”

“Was there another woman you fu.cked today too I should have mentioned?” He took a step closer to me and looked down into my eyes with a curious expression.

“You’re angry for her feelings Lila? Or your own?”

“Admittedly you could have shot me a text message or something, but I knew what I was getting into.” Travis just grinned.

“What would that text message say?”

“How about “Lila, I'm bringing home a girl who looks like she has Chlamydia, so feel free to be repulsed by me from now on.” I spat back as Travis started laughing.

 

“I thought you felt bad for her.” He grinned.

 

“You are the worst. Seriously.”

"I got that before."

"Yeah right, but let me guess, it doesn't bother you." I paused to narrow my glare on him. "Does it even exist something that bothers you Trav?"
"This is bothering me." he answered flatly.

"Oh poor Trav." I said in a sweet voice before glaring again. "Deal with it."

"Hell no. I did nothing. It's not my fault if we were in the same place at the same time, just like it's not my fault if it's your birthday and I didn't know."
"Because you never do anything, right?" I spat back at him. I was realizing how completely pointless this conversation was at this point. No one had the ability to piss me off so much.
"I'm thinking about a few things I'd like to do right now..." He trailed off, now taking his time to look over my body. I wasn’t a stranger to being checked out, but when Travis did it. It felt like he was already touching you. I reached out and hit him, hard, making him groan and look back into my eyes.
"Travis!" I yelled. "Don't you even think about it!"
"I'm not even free to think now?!"
"You were with that girl when? Less than one hour ago?" I questioned in a bitter tone as my finger pointed behind me.

"You're jealous." Travis said slowly.

 

“I'm not jealous Travis, I'm offended.” I said seriously, because did I want to be the girl he dropped off at the bar after fucking? No.

“Offended?”

“That you would even think I would go near you in the same day that you touched another woman. I like you Travis, god knows why. But I'm not going to be disrespected.” Travis took a step closer and his eyes got more serious.

“I respect you more than any other girl.” I swallowed thickly and tried to ignore the beating of my heart.

“I believe you.” I replied and ignored the impulse to reach out and run my fingers through his hair, completely going against everything I’d said today. “I don’t know why but I do.” Travis tilted my head up slightly, sending a shot of arousal straight through me despite how much I hated him today.

“I don’t know why either.” I felt like we were there for hours just looking at each other before I pulled away.

“I need to go back in. Do you want to come?” Travis took a deep breath, looking like he was considering it but then shaking his head.

"No Lil." He answered quietly.

"Why?" I asked in a barely audible voice, sounding small and tired and nothing like myself. Travis reached for my cheek and brushed his thumb against me and even though I was still upset, it was so calming.  

"We both know it wouldn't be a good idea." I knew he was right, it would be no secret that there was something between us, not when our attraction to each other was so intense. My brothers would probably have a heart attack.

"Okay." I shrugged nonchalantly and bit down on my lip, wishing it were easier. Wishing that I didn’t care so much. Wishing that I could feel this way about some guy who felt those things about me too.

"Still mad?" he asked, reading my face wrong, "Upset?" he tried again, looking for the right word but I shook my head again. "I'm sorry if I ruined your night."

"Stop saying you're sorry." I snapped back and I saw a flash of anger in his eyes before he spoke.

"I mean it."

“Don’t you think it’s odd?” I asked, tilting my head to the side.

“What?” I stepped closer and again had to resist the urge to touch him in some way. I’d never felt that way about a man. If I wanted to touch him I did and if I didn’t I didn’t it was never so damn complicated.

“That you’re sorry for one. How many times does that happen?” Travis grinned.

“Touche.” His chuckle made my stomach flip and I swallowed before talking again.

“Do you usually look at girls like you want to eat them up even after you just got some?” He set his jaw at that.

“What are you saying Lila?” he asked, his voice turning dangerous automatically but there was nothing he could do to me, no matter how deep his voice got.

“I'm saying maybe you should bring home the girl you really want next time and not settle.” I winked and turned around so I could walk back to the bar, feeling his eyes on me, but turning at the door. “Oh and Travis?” I waited for a second, apparently he didn’t have words, either because he thought I was totally wrong and was stewing about it, or maybe I just left him without words. “You owe me a birthday present.” I winked and then let the door fall behind me, wondering what was happening to me, but pushing past it because some things were more important than gorgeous men who were too complicated for your own good. Like cake for instance.