Head in the clouds but my gravity's centered. Touch my neck and I'll touch yours.

Head in the clouds but my gravity's centered. Touch my neck and I'll touch yours. by nadiaa featuring a black purse

“You’re all alone tonight?” I heard a voice ask me as I stepped into the club.

Honestly, tonight was going to be hard for me. New Year’s Eve and I was alone, but I couldn’t spend it at home moping.

I looked over at the guy and felt like I was being tested, because the old me would have swooned and I would have probably gone home with him, but I wouldn’t let that happen. I just had to be polite.

I smiled at him, “Yeah, new year’s is going to be all about me.” I laughed.

“Well can I at least buy you a drink? Just so you’re not completely alone.”

I sighed, “I think that will be okay.”

“Milena.” I heard a rough voice and I turned around to see Ames standing there looking at me.

“Ames…” I blinked back at him, not expecting him to be here. I tried to stay focused and not completely break down here, but it was getting hard.

“We need to talk.” Ames said quickly.

The other guy interrupted, “I think I was already talking to her man. Get in line.”

Ames glared and his hands rolled into fists and my eyes darted towards him before inserting myself between the two of them.

“Okay, let’s go.” I told Ames as I turned to the guy to silently apologize. I glared back at Ames, “I’m sorry if you don’t like it when I talk to other men Ames, but I do have a life. I’m sorry, I would have gone somewhere else if I had known you’d be here.” I said with strength but I was about to break down.

“I’m sorry.” He said gently.

“What do you want?” I managed to ask.

He was silent for a minute before he spoke up, “You.” He said suddenly.

My breath caught in my throat as I swallowed, “Oh? For how long this time?” I said before looking down at my shoes.

He reached out and tilted my head up to look at him in the eyes, “As long as you’ll have me.” He said seriously, “I don’t deserve you Mila. I don’t know if I ever will, but I want you anyways… not just physically, though I want that so bad it hurts. But mentally, emotionally. I haven’t let myself want that in a long time, but you’re worth it. You’re worth everything.

I swallowed as my heart beat sped up an insane amount, “What does that mean?” I said, letting him answer it instead of assuming on my part.

“It means I don’t want to see you move on with anyone… not unless it’s with me.” He told me.

“Ames… you said you’ll never forget.” I reminded him of his own words.

“Honestly, I won’t…” He told me, “But it doesn’t matter anymore. I’ll always remember, but it won’t mean anything. You had your reasons for doing what you did and I will never put that against you ever.”

“Ames…” I trailed off, “Where is this coming from?” I asked confused.

“Seeing that guy paw all over you.” He closed his eyes before reopening them, “It pissed me off. More than I thought possible. I never got that jealous over anything Odette did…” He trailed off.

“I told you I can’t wait forever for you Ames.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“No more waiting…” He trailed off, “If you still want to be with me. I want to be with you Mila. I need to grow up and admit what I’ve wanted for years. You.”

My mouth went dry, “Ames… if you’re just getting my hopes up to run away scared again… Please don’t. I don’t think I could recover…”

He shook his head, “I’m ready to be an adult Mila.” He pushed my hair back, “I want this, with you. I was stupid before and I want to try and fix us."

“I-“ I swallowed, running my hands through my hair, “I’m doing good being alone. I’m finding out who I am without a man.” I said, rambling, saying the words that were coming to my mind.

“I don’t want you to base yourself off of what we’ll have. I want to support you in finding yourself, but I always want to date you exclusively.”

I looked up at him, blinking, “Am I dreaming?” I asked him.

He cupped my face and pressed his lips against mine, tracing my lips with his tongue, making me whimper into his mouth. He groaned and threaded his fingers tight in my hair as he kissed me harder, “Yes, this is a dream.” He chuckled.

“It’s not… and you still haven’t answered me.” He said, making me pull away.

I swallowed, “Yes.” I nodded, as he reached over for me, but I held up my hand, “But we start over.”

He blinked back at me, “Start over?”

I nodded, “Yes, clean slate. No blaming each other for anything, no bringing sh.it up that happened, just… two people starting a relationship…”

He nodded, “That sounds fair.” He agreed, but I hadn’t said the most important thing.

“And no sex.” I told him.

He blinked, “… No sex?” He repeated.

I tried to explain it in a way that would make him understand, “I’m never going to be used again Ames. I’m not going to risk it. So if it’s not a deal breaker, we’ll only be working on the mental and emotional part for a while.”

“Uhm… how long is a while?” He said, wincing.

I laughed, making him glare, “I’m sorry, but seeing you squirming is super adorable. Just until I know we’re real… is that too much to ask?” I asked him, hoping it wasn’t.

“No… but god, it’ll be so damn hard.” He said.

I walked back into his arms and looked up at him with a wicked glint in my eye, “Literally.”

He rose a brow and kissed me quickly, “My baby is a little tease."

I flushed and leaned into him, “I’m your baby?” I asked once more to make sure this was all happening and that it was real.

He nodded, “Yeah and I’m making sure I’ll never f.uck this up… Even without sex.” He managed to strain out.

I giggled, “I’m sorry… I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

He nodded, “I know… I know why you’re doing this though. If I want you, and if that means celibacy? I’ll do it.”

I gave him a small smile and pulled him into a deep kiss, “Thank you.” I breathed out against his lips.

“No problem beautiful.” He smiled back at me, which almost stopped my heart, “Now let’s go tell our personal cheerleader,” He nodded his head back to Chloe who was at the bar, “And enjoy what’s left of this year.”

I nodded as we tangled our fingers and headed towards the bar and Chloe let out a squeal, “Are you two?!” She asked excitedly.

I nodded, “We are…” I trailed off looking at Ames.

“Oh my god. I’m an awesome matchmaker.” She winked, grabbing herself another drink, “The two of you need to go make some babies now.” She grinned at the two of us.

“Chloe, we’ve just made up. We kind of have to pace ourselves.” I joked with her as I looked back up at Ames.

“Pshh, you two were like meant to be together.” She rolled her eyes, handing me a drink, “Now relax, because it’s almost midnight.”

I laughed as I started sipping the drink and felt Ames’ hand wrap around my waist protectively…. I felt content and happy.

“My shift is over, so now you can finally give me that dance you promised.” The bartender who had been eyeing Chloe told her as she smiled.

“You got it stud.” She grinned and I felt Ames hold on to me tighter and I know he was trying to contain himself. It was so endearing that he cared so much about his family.

I bumped my hip with his, “Please, that guy is harmless compared to the ones she usually goes out with.” I pointed out, making him groan. I laughed, “Calm down gorgeous, you’ll get wrinkles with all those worried faces.” I said, turning in his arms.

His beautiful blue eyes stared into mine, “Dance with me.” He said, pulling me out to the dance floor and then pulled me flush against him as we slow danced.

“Mmmm, keep these moves up, I’ll be regretting my celibacy decision.” I moaned against his chest and he laughed.

He cupped my chin to kiss my lips softly, “Trust me. I’m going to be making you regret it.”

I blinked back at him, “I thought you said it was okay-“ He pressed a finger to my lips, stopping me.

“I think it’s smart Mila, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be teasing you every step of the way until I get you back in my bed again.”

I shivered at the thought and rethought my celibacy proposition. I just really wanted to be with him; in every single way. But the voices of people counting down to the New Year interrupted me.

“You ready for the new year?” I smiled up at him.

He nodded, “Now I am…” He gave me a smile.

Everybody was counting down, “Ten, nine, eight…”

I stared into his eyes and it was as if we were the only two people in the room, “Thank you for forgiving me…” I breathed out.

“I can say the same.” He pushed my hair back behind my ear.

“…TWO! ONE!!!” The room said in unison and erupted into cheers.

I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips against his as he held me against his body tightly and we didn’t pull apart for what felt like minutes.

I pulled away breathlessly, “How do you do that?” I blinked at him.

“What?”

“Make my heart speed up and slow down all at once?” I grinned.

“Must be a gift.” He said, making me laugh.

I breathed out, “Happy new year Ames.” I told him.

“Happy new year’s to you too Milena.” He kissed my lips once more.

“Is it bad that all I’m thinking about right now is taking you back to my place and straddling you?” I said, feeling my cheeks get warm.

He groaned, “I’ll go get a cab.”

I laughed, “No, not yet. I need to stop thinking with my body…” I trailed off, “But god, know it’s not you… I want you so f.ucking bad.”

“Who wouldn’t?” He winked back at me, making me laugh again.

“Shut up.” I crossed my arms across my chest as I smiled.