12.16.2013

someone who hears your prayers someone who cares

someone who hears your prayers someone who cares


I ran my hand through my hair as I stared at the screen of my computer blankly, my eyes on all the annual report I still had to finish while my mind kept wandering, refusing to focus probably because of the lack of sleep of the night before. "Travis?" Lila's voice broke into the silence of my office and I glanced up, drinking her in like a man dying of thirst, the way I looked at her enough for her to bite down on her lip.
"Hi Lila, close the door please." I said quietly as I leaned back in my chair, watching her as she did as told before walking over a chair and taking a seat. I took a deep breath, wishing we could be there for a session of crazy sex instead of using our time together to talk about work.
She crossed her legs and offered a smile, a cute genuine one that made her look younger than she already was. "Did you want to talk to me?" She asked.
I nodded, leaning my forearms against my desk as I didn't take my eyes away from her. "That's why I called you."

"Shoot." She said in a cheerful voice, "You made me curious."
I let out another sigh, one of the one million I had already let out during this awful day, and broke eye contact to reach for a stack of papers. "It's about work." I said flatly.
"I had no doubts about that." She chuckled quietly, making me glance up at her, her face changing from playful to playfully serious in a second flat. "You were very clear about that."
"Because I have to." I retorted quickly before going back to business, pushing the documents toward her, "I was looking at the paperwork you gave me about your last project and there's a part missing."
She stared at me blankly, then furrowed her brows as she went through the pages, "What? I'm sure I sent you everything." She started, almost as if she was talking mostly to herself, something that I'd normally call cute but today it just annoyed me. "They sent the cover on production already...I don't understand..." She trailed off while confusion showed on her beautiful face as she looked at me again.
"You forgot to put the cost of the resources you used." I explained in monotone, waiting for her reaction and trying to keep myself in check. If it hadn't been her? They would've already heard me yelling from the other side of the building. There was no room for mistakes when you worked with me.
She opened her mouth then closed it again, looking so clearly clueless that I felt my jaw setting. "I didn't know I had to." She said eventually.
"It was written on the first email I sent you, the one with the list-"
"I remember that." She cut me off, a move that was far from being wise when she was so clearly in the wrong. I just stared at her, my blood boiling already because there was nothing, literally nothing that pissed me off more than job when it went wrong, no matter if it was just a detail, everything had to be perfect. I was where I was now because I took care of everything, always. "What?" She asked when I didn't say a word.
"I don't know, you tell me Lila." I said coldly, knowing that there was no excuse that could make this situation better.
"It has to be slipped my mind, I don't know, I thought I had done everything..." She shrugged nonchalantly as if it wasn't a big deal, when it was to me. Without that part I couldn't close that file and without that file I couldn't end my annual report which needed to be ended by the end of the week.
"But you didn't." I said through my teeth, my voice low.
She rolled her eyes and in that moment I knew that she had chosen the worst moment to show me her attitude. "God Travis, it's not the end of the world, you'll have it tomorrow." She retorted bitterly.
"I don't care if I'll have it tomorrow, you were supposed to give it to me one week ago." I spat, having a hard time holding myself back. Actually I was on the verge of yelling. "I thought you were more professional than that."
She didn't seem impressed at all and leaned into me from across the table instead, narrowing her eyes on me, "I am, I did a great job. Can't you just give me a couple more hours instead of snapping like this?"
"No." I answered quickly, keeping my eyes on her because if she was trying to challenge me? She'd lose. "You ran out of time already."
"Travis-" She started, the tone of her voice changing and making me cut her off.
"I said no. I'm not going to treat you differently just because we fucked, you're just like all the other people working with me, get that into your head."
Lila stood up so fast her chair wobbled as she glared at me. "First of all? We didn't 'fuck'. We're still sleeping together, despite all your protests that it wouldn't happen again. Secondly? You are not my boss, you're not even above me in any way so you have no right to talk to me like that.”
“I-“ I started to say that yes maybe I wasn't her boss but I had more power than her, both at work and in bed, but she held up her hand.
“Actually you don’t have a right to talk to anyone like that. You’re the one who’s unprofessional.”
“Lila, sit down.”
“No! Are you kidding me? The financial paperwork is YOUR job, not mine. You didn’t ask me to give it to you and even if you did it wouldn’t have been my job, so you can take your “annual report” and shove it up your ass!” She yelled.
I took a second to blink back in disbelief, though it didn’t last long. I didn't even know where to start since she was so wrong in so many ways, about so many things, but after all arguing wasn't worthy because she was too stubborn to even consider that I was right. “That was a very cute tantrum Lila, I’ll be sure to remember your maturity level when I think about using your skills again.”
“MY maturity level?! Says the man who throws a fit over one document and doesn’t bother to find out who’s fault that really was?”
“I’m losing my tempter fast so tread carefully.” I warned, since it was her fault. How the fuck was I supposed to know the materials she had used and their price? I could make projections about distribution, estimate the cost of the whole thing, but the cost of production of one single cover? That was her thing, it wasn't hard.
She rolled her eyes. “Oh god what doesn’t make you lose your temper?! You’re literally the moodiest man I have ever met in my life.”
“You can leave now.” I glared, tired of this shit. I could fix this by myself, because after all everything was better when I took care of it alone.
“Is that why your ex dumped you? Because you pms’d more than she did?!”
I stared at her for a long second then swallowed, deciding against all my instincts. "Get out Lila." I said coldly, doing my best not to be the worst version of myself.
"Why? I pushed one of your buttons, didn't I?" She scoffed instead, once again not being wise at all.
"I said get out." I repeated and set my jaw, breaking eye contact and looking back at my computer screen as I inhaled deeply through my nostrils. It was funny how sometimes the things I liked were the same ones I could hate too. Just like I usually liked her lack of filter between her thoughts and her words while now I wished she would have thought twice before talking.
I saw the points of her fingers with the corner of my eyes as she set her hands on my desk, "I'm not scared Travis."
"There's nothing to be scared of." I said back in monotone, "Get out, I have work to do."
She let out a small laugh, a bitter one that sounded ugly, not like her usual one. "You can't even bring yourself to look at me." She said in a challenging tone.
I moved my eyes back to her face, mine was blank and giving away nothing as I stared at her. "I'm done talking to you."
"Because you're not even able to argue, whatever I say something right that you don't like-"
"You bringing up my ex was a bad move." I cut her off, taking between my gritted teeth, the thought of Karlie paining me a little too. I hadn't talked to her in a week and I wondered if she was fine. "You don't know me enough to bring up anything about my personal life, but mostly we were talking about work and you were really unprofessional, only proving me how I should I never mix work with sex." I paused only to shot her a glare when she parted her lips. "I have nothing else to discuss with you Lila."
She sat back down and casually crossed a leg over the other. “Good then you can listen while I discuss things about you to myself.” She spat back, her face matching mine only she looked like a baby. She was a baby.
“What is the matter with you?” I asked, my brow cocking as I looked back at her.
“My problem? Is that I’m realizing how out of my league you are.” She said simply.
I was taken aback for a second and folded my arms over my chest, not admitting how she was right about that instead. I wasn't good for her, but it didn't bother me because I didn't want to be. “What does that even mean?”
“Well professionally? I took my original idea to your boss, who approved it right away, so really the only reason I was working with you was to look at your pretty face. Unprofessional I know but totally worth it.”
“You went to my boss?” I questioned through my teeth, getting really mad because as soon as we kept this fight personal I had no problem, if it affected my job instead? I'd make her regret it. Also she had no idea of what my boss thought about her and I had the good sense to keep it to myself.
“Personally? You’re a lying pathetic man with really nothing going for him outside of the bedroom. And not only that, but you think you’re more and act like god’s fucking gift to women! ”
“Next time I tell you to get out I’ll call security.”
She laughed again, and leaned in slightly. “And tell them what? That you can’t handle a 23 year old blond waif by yourself?”
“Have you completely lost your mind?” I asked, sincerely disappointed by her crazy show. I didn't like crazy, I really didn't.
She stood up, the calm before the storm was now over apparently. “I really must have, because I stupidly thought that we were friends. Friends Travis. But you’re too much of a self-absorbed asshole to realize what’s right in front of you!”
I stood up too, my hand slamming down on my desk. “Lower your voice Lila.” I growled, walking up and looking down at her with barely restrained power.
She tilted her head to the side as she glared back at me still stone cold. “Are you going to yell at me now Travis? Or fuck me? I never can tell when you look at me like that.”
“This is done. You are clearly too young for-“
She interrupted me again. “Too young for what?! What is this Travis? We’re not friends, we’re lovers but we’re not together and at work you treat me like I’m beneath you so we’re not equals! My god I hope growing up doesn’t make me like you!! It’s no wonder you’re always so grumpy your life must be miserable!!!”
I digested her words slowly, them infuriating me at first but then something clicked. Who was this girl to think she could talk like she knew me? She was no one. It was my fault if I had led her to think she was something more and now I had to fix it. Yelling wouldn't help, so I ran my hand through my hair to flatten it back as I inhaled deeply through my nostrils, her eyes were still on me and sparkled with fury, as if she was ready to fight. "Are you done?" I asked instead in a calm tone that wasn't even forced, I just didn't give a f.uck anymore. I had never had really.
She blinked at me in surprise as she watched me walk around my desk and back to my chair where I sat. "What do you mean I'm done, I'm not talking alone Travis." She spat back, crossing her arms against her chest defensively.
I stared at her blankly, no emotions on my face because I felt nothing right now. She was a stranger. "Yes you are, because I'm not talking to you anymore. As I said before, I have nothing else to say." I said nonchalantly, glancing at the screen of my computer and already thinking about how I'd go on with my day.
"Don't I even deserve an answer?" She asked, disbelief on her beautiful face and I could tell she was deep in a thought, probably wondering if I was just bluffing. I wasn't.
I raised one eyebrow slowly as I looked back at her, seeing nothing but a pretty girl who needed to grow up and learn how to keep her mouth shut unless she was on her knees. "What was the question again?"
"You're acting like this is nothing." She started, her index finger pointing at me then at herself as if there was an us.
"But this is nothing." I said simply since it was that simple. We might have had fun together for a time that was longer to my usual standards but that didn't mean that an exception could change the rules, at least not mine.
Her eyes narrowed on me, green and stormy just like when she rode me. "I forgot you're a liar too!" She spat back harshly.
I let a bitter smirk play on my lips as I shook my head, since I could be many things but never a liar. "Sure Lila. A liar, a self absorbed asshole who leads a miserable life. Did I forget anything?" I asked but didn't give her time to speak, my eyes turning ice cold. "Why would you want to have something more than nothing with me? Do us both a favor, get out and grow up. Not like me of course."
She took a few seconds to process my words while I waited and watched her face changing. I was expecting her to get even more mad, make a scene, yell and storm out of my office like a fury. Instead she walked around to my side of the desk and grabbed my collar, pulling me close and slowly pressing his lips against mine, feather soft, again and again and again.
I tried to resist her,  but when she let her tongue slide against my bottom lip I couldn't help tangling my hands in her hair and growling against her mouth. I was just a man and no matter how annoyed I was, how I wanted to put a distance between us, she was still a gorgeous sexy girl and the way she was abandoning herself into our heated kiss was my weakness. But then she pulled away and stared back at me with everything she felt, it showed in her expression and it was like a fucking punch in my stomach.
"Are you trying to fuck this better Lila?" I asked as she caught her breath.
"That wasn't nothing. This isn't fucking nothing. You can pretend like I'm just another notch on your bedpost all the live long day but at the end of it? You know you like me. And that makes me a hell of a lot different from the other girls. And it also means that you're gonna really miss me." She said then sent me a last broken look before turning around and walking out my door.

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