12.16.2013

we're burning one hell of a something

I stood in the door and watched Travis run his hands through his hair as he looked at his computer. God he was so gorgeous. It had barely been a full day since we had been together and already I was craving more and more. 
"Travis?" I finally spoke and a shiver went through me at the way he took me in....I wondered if this was really a buisness meeting after all. 
"Hi Lila, close the door please." he said quietly as he leaned back in his chair and I felt him watching me as I did as much and then walked over too him and took a seat. I crossed my legs and gave him a small smile.
"Did you want to talk to me?" I asked, secretly hoping that instead he would want to not talk at all. My body was buzzing already being so close to him. He nodded, leaning his forarms against his desk but not taking his eyes off me either.
"That's why I called you."
"Shoot." I said in a cheerful voice, "You made me curious." He sighed, long and deep and I noticed the dark circles under his eyes and how tired he looked.
"It's about work." he said flatly.
"I had no doubts about that." I chuckled, though I had to admit I was a little bummed. "You were very clear about that."
"Because I have to." He retorted quickly before going back to business, pushing the documents toward me, "I was looking at the paperwork you gave me about your last project and there's a part missing." I just stared at him and looked through the pages of my project all wrapped up.
"What? I'm sure I sent you everything." I said seriously, looking through the papers. "They sent the cover on production already...I don't understand..." II trailed off before looking back up at him in confusion.
"You forgot to put the cost of the resources you used." he explained in monotone and it seemed.....it seemed like he was barely restraining anger. For what a missing paper? Seriously? I felt my mouth open and shut because honestly this was a little bit of an overreaction.....couldn't he have just e-mailed me?
"I didn't know I had to." I said eventually.
"It was written on the first email I sent you, the one with the list-"
"I remember that." I cut him off, meaning the e-mail, not that i had to write up a finance report. I was a graphic designer, not a money girl. I looked back at him and what I saw was one seriously pissed off alpha male keeping himself in check. What the fuck? "What?" I voiced my thoughts.
"I don't know, you tell me Lila." Travis said coldly as if I had fuckked the entire project over instead of just not sending a paper I hadn't known I needed.
"It has to be slipped my mind, I don't know, I thought I had done everything..." I shrugged, knowing that arguing the validity of my having to fill out any finance papers with him was useless. Even though I was right.
"But you didn't." he said through his teeth, his voice low. Good god. I rolled my eyes, having had about enough of his attitude.
"God Travis, it's not the end of the world, you'll have it tomorrow." From the finance guy I'd ask to write it up, not from me since that wasn't my fucking job
"I don't care if I'll have it tomorrow, you were supposed to give it to me one week ago." he spat, clearly having a hard time holding himself back. "I thought you were more professional than that." I raised my brows and leaned into him from my side of the desk.
"I am, I did a great job. Can't you just give me a couple more hours instead of snapping like this?"
"No." he answered quickly, keeping his eyes on me in some kind of stupid challenge. . "You ran out of time already."
"Travis-"
"I said no. I'm not going to treat you differently just because we fucked, you're just like all the other people working with me, get that into your head."
I stood up so fast my chair wobbled as I glared at him.
"First of all? We didn't "fuck" We're still sleeping together, despite all your protests that it wouldn't happen again. Secondly? You are not my boss, you're not even above me in any way so you have no right to talk to me like that.”
“I-“ he started but I held up my hand.
“Actually you don’t have a right to talk to anyone like that. You’re the one who’s unprofessional.”
“Lila, sit down.”
“No! Are you kidding me? The financial paperwork is YOUR job, not mine. You didn’t ask me to give it to you and even if you did it wouldn’t have been my job, so you can take your “annual report” and shove it up your ass!” I yelled and he took a second to blink back in disbelief, though it didn’t last long.
“That was a very cute tantrum Lila, I’ll be sure to remember your maturity level when I think about using your skills again.”
“MY maturity level?! Says the man who throws a fit over one document and doesn’t bother to find out whose fault that really was?”
“I’m losing my tempter fast so tread carefully.” I rolled my eyes.
“Oh god what doesn’t make you lose your temper?! You’re literally the moodiest man I have ever met in my life.”
“You can leave now.” He glared but I was on a role, all of my pent up emotions towards him were bubbling to the surface and crazy Lila had just gotten started.
“Is that why your ex dumped you? Because you pms’d more than she did?!”  Travis glared at me before talking.
"Get out Lila." he said coldly, though I could hear restraint.
"Why? I pushed one of your buttons, didn't I?" I scoffed, knowing the answer already.
"I said get out." he repeated, making a point that he was done by looking back at his computer as if I had already left. I hadn't. I set my hands on his desk and glared at him.
"I'm not scared Travis."
"There's nothing to be scared of." he said back in monotone, "Get out, I have work to do."  I laughed, because this was completely ridiculous.
"You can't even bring yourself to look at me." I said in a challenging tone, my stomach fllipping when he moved his eyes back to mine slowly, clearly keeping his face emotionless as he stared at me.
"I'm done talking to you."
"Because you're not even able to argue, whatever I say something right that you don't like-"
"You bringing up my ex was a bad move." he cut me off, taking between gritted teeth, his famous control clearly breaking.  "You don't know me enough to bring up anything about my personal life, but mostly we were talking about work and you were really unprofessional, only proving me how I should I never mix work with sex." he paused only to shot me a warning glare when I parted my lips. "I have nothing else to discuss with you Lila." I sat back down and casually crossed a leg over the other.
“Good then you can listen while I discuss things about you to myself.” I spat back my face matching his.
“What is the matter with you?” he asked, his brow cocking as he looked back at me
“My problem? Is that I’m realizing how out of my league you are.” I said simply. He seemed taken aback for a second and folded his arms over his chest.
“What does that even mean?”
“Well professionally? I took my original idea to your boss, who approved it right away, so really the only reason I was working with you was to look at your pretty face. Unprofessional I know but totally worth it.”
“You went to my boss?” he questioned through his teeth, his voice so low if it was any louder it would have shaken the floor.
“Personally? You’re a lying pathetic man with really nothing going for him outside of the bedroom. And not only that, but you think you’re more and act like god’s fuc.king gift to women! ”
“Next time I tell you to get out I’ll call security.” I laughed again, and leaned in slightly.
“And tell them what? That you can’t handle a 23 year old blond waif by yourself?”
“Have you completely lost your mind?” I stood up, the calm before the storm was now over.
“I really must have, because I stupidly thought that we were friends. Friends Travis. But you’re too much of a self-absorbed a.sshole to realize what’s right in front of you!” He stood up too, his hand slamming down on his desk.
“Lower your voice Lila.” He growled, walking up and looking down at me with barely restrained power. I tilted my head to the side as I glared back at him still stone cold.
“Are you going to yell at me now Travis? Or fuc.k me? I never can tell when you look at me like that.”
“This is done. You are clearly too young for-“ I interrupted him again.
“Too young for what?! What is this Travis? We’re not friends, we’re lovers but we’re not together and at work you treat me like I’m beneath you so we’re not equals! My god I hope growing up doesn’t make me like you!! It’s no wonder you’re always so grumpy your life must be miserable!!!”
"Are you done?" Travis asked instead in a calm tone that told me I had gone over the edge. Honestly I was surprised it had taken this long. I watched as he walked around his desk to his chair where he sat down.
"What do you mean I'm done, I'm not talking alone Travis." I spat back, crossing my arms against my chest defensively, hating how he was always telling me what to do. He looked back at me with no recognition, as if I was a stranger that he had no intimite knowledge of. He wa a good liar.
"Yes you are, because I'm not talking to you anymore. As I said before, I have nothing else to say." he said nonchalantly, glancing at the screen of his computer again.
"Don't I even deserve an answer?" I asked, though I wasn't sure what kind of answer I was looking for. Or even what the question was. I knew who Travis was all along, that didn't change because our affair lasted longer than I thought it had. He looked back at me again, raisign a brow and giving me a look of almost pity.
"What was the question again?"
"You're acting like this is nothing." I started, pointing between us.
"But this is nothing." he said simply only voicing what I had been telling myself he thought all along. But something was making me yell back at him, something that I knew he knew.
"I forgot you're a liar too!" I spat back harshly. He smirked, a slow bitter grin that made him look evil and nothing like the man I was falling for.
"Sure Lila. A liar, a self absorbed a.sshole who leads a miserable life. Did I forget anything?" he asked but didn't give me time to speak, his eyes turning ice cold instead of just gorgeous they were nothing. "Why would you want to have something more than nothing with me? Do us both a favor, get out and grow up. Not like me of course." I took a few seconds to process his words, his body language. I knew what he was doing, where this had led. I knew it and I saw it coming but now that it had? I was in denial.
So instead of turning around and walkng out of his stupid office I walked around to his side of the desk and grabbed his collar, pulling him close and slowly pressing my lips against his, feather soft, again and again and again. He was either too pissed or too annoyed to initially respond so I let my tongue slide against his bottom lip and then his hands were tangling in my hair and he was growling loud against my mouth. I sank into the fire that was kissing Travis before litarlly forcing myself to pull away and stare back at him with everything I felt....which had to show in my expression beause I had no idea how to explain i tmyself
"Are you trying to fuck this better Lila?" Travis asked as I caught my breath.
"That wasn't nothing. This isn't fucking nothing. You can pretend like I'm just another notch on your bedpost all the live long day but at the end of it? You know you like me. And that makes me a hell of a lot different from the other girls. And it also means that you're gonna really miss me." And I would really....really fucking miss him. But it was time to go. I sent him a last broken look before turning around and walking out his door. I felt out of control. But wasn't that how he had always made me feel?

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