My head was pounding as I walked down the stairs before I realized that someone was knocking on my door. I blinked and walked over to it, opening it slowly only to find my sisters boyfriend standing there.
"Travis?"
"Hi Colbie, can I come in?" he asked quietly, his face impassive as he looked me over.
"I..." I trailed off but he didn't wait for my answer he just walked inside. "I guess it wasn't really a question."
"No it wasn't." he said with a shrug before raising the tone of his voice. "Will!" he shouted and I winced because my head really did still hurt. I felt hungover but it wasn't even fair because I never got to drink and wouldn't for months. Perfect.
"What are you doing Travis, you have no right-" I started, wondering what in the hell this man was thinking.
"We'll talk about rights later." he said seriously, making me wonder again how the hell Lila dealed with him because as far as I knew she didn't like being bossed around. Will ran down the stairs but as soon as he saw Trav his face fell a little.
"Hi coach...I thought it was Jax." My heart ached and my stomach clenched at his words while I saw Travis give him a sympathetic look.
"Why aren't you going to practice?" he asked, making me widen my eyes because I hadn't even realized he was skipping. What a great mom I was being. Will shrugged, looking a little embarrassed.
"I...mom isn't feeling good." I sighed as Travis nodded.
"Rob is waiting for you outside, you can go to practice with him while I stay with your mom." he explained quietly. Will glanced at me and I forced a smile. I wasn't very good company anyways.
"Go Will, I'm fine."
"Okay...I'll be back soon. I have my phone with me if you need me I can come back home." He agreed eventually and kissed my cheek. How I managed to raise such an amazing boy when I was such a mess was beyond me.
"Adam will take you back home and I'll be here in the meanwhile. Don't worry Will." Travis told him reassuringly before he walked outside. I crossed my arms against my chest which kind of hurt because my boobs were so damn sensitive lately.
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to talk." he answered as he got himself comfy on my couch.
"What if I don't want to talk?"
"You can still listen." he shrugged. I sat down too because if we were being honest? I needed to talk. And ask some questions.
"How's Jax?" I whispered. Trav raised one eyebrow at me, "Why don't you ask him?"
"Because we broke up." I choked on the words, hating how everything had turned so wrong.
"You left him you mean." Travis corrected and I turned to glare at him because he didn't know what he was talking about. "You made a huge mistake." he added.
"You can't tell me what to do with my life, you have no idea of what I'm going through."
"Oh I do." he said back as he took a deep breath. "Look Colbie, I'm not here to fight with you, even though it'd be easier. I'm here to help you and my brother."
"I don't see how you can." I admitted, feeling the tears forming in my eyes.
"I don't want any of you to make the same mistakes I made years ago because there's no way back from there." he started and I gave him a questioning look, "My ex...Karlie, I don't know if you heard about her."
"Lila told me something." I nodded, keeping it vague since all I knew was Lila didn't care for her and she said she turned her into a jealous bit.ch which was very unlike my sister.
"She got pregnant. I got her pregnant, even though I had no idea. She had stopped to take the pill without telling me and when she found out our relationship was already really bad and it wasn't the right time to have a baby, I didn't want to have a baby. I didn't get to take a decision though, because she took it for me too and got an abortion...I regret it every day of my life." He paused as I stared, still processing his words and feeling punched in the stomach for what he had to go through. "The situation is really different with you and Jax, but there's still a baby involved. Don't give up on that baby and don't take it away from Jax, none of you two would recover from that." he added while I tried to find someway to change the look of surprise on my face. "It took me a full year to say all this to Lila and only my family knows about it, so I hope you see me telling you this as a proof that I want nothing but the best for both you and Jax." I brought my hand to my mouth as I felt tears falling down my cheeks.
"I'm so sorry Travis. I had no idea." I choked on my words then let out a sob, no matter how hard I was trying to control it. He scooted closer to me, grabbing my hand and pulling it away from my mouth while his other brushed away my tears.
"Don't cry Colbs." he said softly. "It's in the past now."
"You're still thinking about it everyday, you said that." I shook my head, the emotions effecting me so much more than I knew they should be.
"I do." Travis agreed, "And that's why I don't want you to have something so awful to haunt you for your whole life too."
"If I didn't keep the baby I'd still tell Jax..." I trailed off, struggling to keep my sobs in check but it was useless. Travis grabbed my hands again, squeezing them as he tilted his head down to make direct eye contact.
"Don't do that, I beg you Colbie. Keep this baby." he told me softly but with a fierceness I didn't miss.
"I'm keeping it." I breathed out.
"Thank god." Travis muttered under his breath. "Call Jax and tell him, he's torturing himself and I've never seen him so miserable."
"I think it's better if he's out of our lives now when we can still get over it instead or doing it when he'll get tired of us and the baby will remember him." I slurred out.
"Are you out of your f.ucking mind Colbie?" Travis asked, his calm demeanor gone in an instant. "Do you think this is the right solution?! Jax would never get rid of you but mostly he would never ever let you keep his daughter or son away from him. What the f.uck are you thinking?! You're smarter than this for Christs sake!"
"I'm thinking the same thing you thought when we got together Travis!" I exclaimed, his own anger fueling mine.
"What?!"
"Oh come on. You never wanted us together at all, you didn't think he'd be able to handle Will, you thought it would end badly. Jax hasn't ever been in a real relationship! It's a risk being with him and I'm not taking those kind of risks anymore!"
"Being with anyone is a risk Colbie! You do it because that person makes you happy and you trust and love them!"
"Not me!!! I do it because it's the easy way out and it's the right thing to do. But that always bites me in the as.s!!!"
"I think you're comparing your ex to my brother and they are not the same person." he said softly.
"What the fu.ck do you know about my ex?" Travis shrugged.
"Only what Jax and Lil have told me. Neither of them have anything good to say." I stood up and started pacing. I had never felt more out of control, and Nick coming back was just the icing on the cake. I felt like I was losing my mind.
"What are you even doing here Travis?! You're not exactly the expert on perfect relationships!"
"I just don't want you making the same mistakes." He replied, being surprisingly calm in my hysteria.
"I would never get rid of my baby." I replied, tears falling down my face at the thought of it. I loved this baby even though it was coming at the worst time. "Our baby." I whispered.
"Colbie." I winced as I looked back at him.
"God you look so much like him." I wiped my eyes with my sleeve.
"I admit, I was worried about you and Jax and I was pissed that he seemed to lose sight of anything else when you were around. I thought you were going too fast. I didn't think he knew what he was getting into because of Will. I thought it would end badly. Was I wrong?" I sobbed harder, trying to stop but it was impossible.
"I don't know why this is happening to me again."
"I don't know what exactly happened with your ex. But I do know that a real man would never abandon his child even if the relationship with his mother didn't work out. I can promise you one thing. Jackson will never ever stop trying to be the best father he can be. No matther what happens with you." I looked up into his eyes and I could tell he more than meant each word.
"Jax isn't ready for this....I did it once before and it's so hard."
"No one is really ready." Travis shrugged. "And I never raised a child so you're more of an expert than I am. But family is everything to Jax. To all of us. Just like it is to you and Lila. He misses Will just as much as he misses you."
"We did go so fast. How do I know if it's real or if it was just....he's everything I want. But I don't know what makes love last."
"Love makes love last." he shrugged as I paced the room, finally stopping to set my hands on my hips and glare down at Travis.
"I don't know if that's a really good answer or a really bad one."
"Patience and devotion are what make love last." He smirked.
"What if that's not enough anyway?" I questioned.
"I don't have all the answers, no one has. You can't know what can happen in the future, you can only hope everything will be fine and do all you can to make things work."
"It's a lot of work." I replied matter of factly.
"Jax can do all that. I never doubted that my brother was capable to have a relationship, he kept looking for one but the girls he went for were always wrong." I slumped on the couch, keeping my eyes on him.
"And I'm right instead?"
"Oddly enough, yes." he paused, though I still wasn't sure I believed him. "Because you made him want to become the man he only dreamt to be before."
"You can't be so sure about me and Jax when you're not even that sure about your relationship with Lila." I muttered.
"Who says I'm not sure?" He asked and raised a brow. "I am sure. I might not be the best boyfriend and I'm hard to handle and I f.uck up things more than I should but I'm sure that I want Lila with me, in my life and in my future."
"I dunno." I shrugged, since those words got to me.
"Look Colbie. You can twist things as much you want but nothing is going to change reality. And your reality is that you're pregnant with my brother's baby and you're having this baby, so it's either you make things even harder and fight Jax or you let him take care of all the three of you."
I nodded and sat down which seemed to relax Travis a little.
"Yeah." I said finally, and the world stopped spinning just a little. He was right. If anything I had two amazing families to help me with this baby, I just never really wanted the help because I was too stubborn.
"Do your parents know?" I asked softly, wondering what they would think of me now that I've conceived two children with different fathers I wasn't married to. My god I sounded like a cliche.
"I don't think Jax has been in a place to tell them." He admitted. I looked back at the man who had stolen my sisters heart, the one who had basically been the reason I'd met Jax in the first place. I knew my sister was worried about our brothers and him getting along, but if they saw past the calm and hard exterior they'd know Travis was a good man. Well...except maybe Reece. But he had his own issues.
"Thank you for coming over." I said seriously. "I still don't know about Jax and I but I do know that when I bring this baby into the world I need to let Jax parent with me."
"Damn right." He scratched the back of his head as if he had something else to ask. "Look, Jax is my business because he's my brother and I know whatever is going on with your ex has nothing to do with me but I know some really good lawyers if you need one."
"Thank you." I whispered, hating that it had come to this. "You're going to be an awesome uncle." Travis looked a little pained before he broke into a goofy grin that looked so much like Jax my chest ached.
"I already am" he winked. "Don't let Will miss anymore practices." He added as he got up and head to the door.
"Jax won't give me another chance now...he's given me too many already." I sniffed back the last remaining tears as Travis stood in the doorway.
"I speak from experience when I say that that's probably not true."
"Maybe" I whispered and then reached up to kiss Travis' cheek and watch as he zoomed off on his motorcycle. I had a lot of thinking to do.
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