I knocked on the door of Colbie's house, hearing her steps before she opened, her eyes wide as she saw me. "Travis?" She questioned as if she didn't expect me to show up. And she didn't really, I had thought about having a talk with her for the last few days and now it was time for action.
"Hi Colbie, can I come in?" I asked quietly, my face giving nothing away even if I was mad at this woman for more reasons than one. Only I knew that I needed patience and calm if I wanted to get something positive about this.
"I..." She trailed off and I didn't wait for her answer, instead I walked inside and looked around for Will. "I guess it wasn't really a question."
"No it wasn't." I said with a shrug before raising the tone of my voice. "Will!" I shouted, guessing that he was upstairs in his room, while Colbie winced.
"What are you doing Travis, you have no right-" she started but I cut her off.
"Hi Colbie, can I come in?" I asked quietly, my face giving nothing away even if I was mad at this woman for more reasons than one. Only I knew that I needed patience and calm if I wanted to get something positive about this.
"I..." She trailed off and I didn't wait for her answer, instead I walked inside and looked around for Will. "I guess it wasn't really a question."
"No it wasn't." I said with a shrug before raising the tone of my voice. "Will!" I shouted, guessing that he was upstairs in his room, while Colbie winced.
"What are you doing Travis, you have no right-" she started but I cut her off.
"We'll talk about rights later." I told her seriously and letting her know that I wasn't giving her any other option. I wasn't Jax.
Will ran down the stairs and as soon as he saw me his face changed. "Hi coach...I thought it was Jax." He said and I could see the disappointment into his eyes. I felt bad for him.
"Why aren't you going to practice?" I asked him since he had already skipped one and that was out of character of him.
He shrugged, looking a little embarrassed. "I...mom isn't feeling good."
I nodded, understanding his desire to protect her and worry about her. He was just a kid though. "Rob is waiting for you outside, you can go to practice with him while I stay with your mom." I explained quietly.
He glanced at Colbie, as if waiting for her opinion on the matter. She forced a smile, "Go Will, I'm fine." She said and I could see she was pretending she was just for her son's benefit. Which was perfectly normal.
"Okay...I'll be back soon. I have my phone with me if you need me I can come back home." He agreed eventually and kissed her cheek.
"Adam will take you back home and I'll be here in the meanwhile. Don't worry Will." I told him reassuringly before he walked outside.
Colbie crossed her arms against her chest, shielding herself from me even though she needed a lot more than that. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to talk." I answered as I got myself comfortable and sat on the couch, wanting her to know that I wouldn't go away.
"What if I don't want to talk?" She asked back.
"You can still listen." I shrugged even thought I doubt she'd just sit there with her mouth shut. She was Lila's sister after all.
She sat down too, letting out a sigh and looking as sad as my brother did too. "How's Jax?" Her voice came out in a whisper.
I raised one eyebrow at her, "Why don't you ask him?"
"Because we broke up." She choked on her words, the pain evident in her voice.
"You left him you mean." I corrected her, because we needed to say things how they were. She glared at me. "You made a huge mistake." I added, speaking my mind like I was used to.
"You can't tell me what to do with my life, you have no idea of what I'm going through." She retorted harshly.
"Oh I do." I said back as I took a deep breath. I had to keep in mind that I was doing this for Jax, even if it was hard for me. "Look Colbie, I'm not here to fight with you, even though it'd be easier. I'm here to help you and my brother."
She swallowed, looking on the verge of tears, "I don't see how you can."
"I don't want any of you to make the same mistakes I made years ago because there's no way back from there." I started and she gave me a questioning look, "My ex...Karlie, I don't know if you heard about her."
"Lila told me something." She nodded, keeping it vague while I wondered how much she knew. Not everything in my opinion.
"She got pregnant. I got her pregnant, even though I had no idea. She had stopped to take the pill without telling me and when she found out our relationship was already really bad and it wasn't the right time to have a baby, I didn't want to have a baby. I didn't get to take a decision though, because she took it for me too and got an abortion...I regret it every day of my life." I paused, my face straight as if I was talking about someone else because I couldn't show my feelings too. "The situation is really different with you and Jax, but there's still a baby involved. Don't give up on that baby and don't take it away from Jax, none of you two would recover from that." I added while she was looking at me with super wide eyes. "It took me a full year to say all this to Lila and only my family knows about it, so I hope you see me telling you this as a proof that I want nothing but the best for both you and Jax."
She brought a hand to her mouth, her eyes filling with tears, "I'm so sorry Travis. I had no idea." She choked on her words then let out a sob, no matter how hard she was trying to control it.
I scooted closer to her, grabbing her hand gently and pulling it away from her lips as my other hand lifted and wiped her tears. "Don't cry Colbs." I said softly, it didn't matter how mad I was, I still didn't like seeing her cry. "It's in the past now."
She shook her head, "You're still thinking about it everyday, you said that."
"I do." I agreed, but that wasn't my point, "And that's why I don't want you to have something so awful to haunt you for your whole life too."
"If I didn't keep the baby I'd still tell to Jax..." She trailed off, struggling to keep her sobs in check but it was useless.
I grabbed her hands again, this time squeezing them as I tilted my head to make eye contact. "Don't do that, I beg you Colbie. Keep this baby." I told her both honestly and softly, hoping to get some sort of effect if I showed her some emotion. I wasn't made of stone after all.
She swallowed, singing as she looked back at me. "I'm keeping it." She breathed out.
"Thank god." I muttered under my breath, feeling slightly relieved but it didn't last long. It was just one step and she had many to take, I refused her to let ruin my brothers life, or her own. "Call Jax and tell him, he's torturing himself and I've never seen him so miserable."
"I think it's better if he's out of our lives now when we can still get over it instead or doing it when he'll get tired of us and the baby will remember him." She slurred out.
I blinked at her. And felt furious all over again. "Are you out of your fucking mind Colbie? Do you think this is the right solution?! Jax would never get rid of you but mostly he would never ever let you keep his daughter or son away from him. What the fuck are you thinking?! You're smarter than this for Christs sake!"
"I'm thinking the same thing you thought when we got together Travis!" Colbie exclaimed, my own anger fueling hers.
"What?!"
"Oh come on. You never wanted us together at all, you didn't think he'd be able to handle Will, you thought it would end badly. Jax hasn't ever been in a real relationship! It's a risk being with me and I'm not taking those kind of risks anymore!"
"Being with anyone is a risk Colbie! You do it because that person makes you happy and you trust and love them!"
"Not me!!! I do it because it's the easy way out and it's the right thing to do. But that always bites me in the ass!!!"
"I think you're comparing your ex to my brother and they are not the same person." I said softly because I had yelled enough.
"What the fuck do you know about my ex?"
I shrugged. "Only what Jax and Lil have told me. Neither of them have anything good to say."
She stood up and started pacing. "What are you even doing here Travis?! You're not exactly the expert on perfect relationships!"
"I just don't want you making the same mistakes." I replied, being surprisingly calm in her hysteria.
"I would never get rid of my baby." She replied, tears falling down her face. "Our baby." She whispered.
"Colbie." I tried to pull her back to reality.
She winced as she looked back at me. "God you look so much like him." She wiped her eyes with her sleeve.
"I admit, I was worried about you and Jax and I was pissed that he seemed to lose sight of anything else when you were around. I thought you were going too fast. I didn't think he knew what he was getting into because of Will. I thought it would end badly. Was I wrong?" Of course I wasn't. I never was.
She sobbed harder, "I don't know why this is happening to her again."
"I don't know what exactly happened with your ex. But I do know that a real man would never abandon his child even if the relationship with his mother didn't work out. I can promise you one thing. Jackson will never ever stop trying to be the best father he can be. No matter what happens with you."
She looked up into my eyes. "Jax isn't ready for this....I did it once before and it's so hard."
"No one is really ready." I shrugged. "And I never raised a child so you're more of an expert than I am. But family is everything to Jax. To all of us. Just like it is to you and Lila. He misses Will just as much as he misses you."
"We did go so fast. How do I know if it's real or if it was just....he's everything I want. I She don't know what makes love last."
"Love makes love last." I shrugged, watching and almost getting nauseous because she kept pacing the room like a crazy person.
She finally stopped, setting her hands on her hips as she raised one eyebrow at me, "I don't know if that's a really good answer or a really bad one."
Her words made me smirk and I guessed she was right. "Patience and devotion are what make love last." I added as an afterthought.
"What if that's not enough anyway?" She questioned.
"I don't have all the answers, no one has. You can't know what can happen in the future, you can only hope everything will be fine and do all you can to make things work." I explained even though I was aware that it was easier said than done.
"It's a lot of work." She replied matter of factly.
I nodded in agreement, "Jax can do all that. I never doubted that my brother was capable to have a relationship, he kept looking for one but the girls he went for were always wrong."
She slumped on the couch, keeping her eyes on me, "And I'm right instead?"
"Oddly enough, yes." I paused, using the most convincing voice I had, "Because you made him want to become the man he only dreamt to be before."
"You can't be so sure about me and Jax when you're not even that sure about your relationship with Lila." She muttered.
"Who says I'm not sure?" I asked and raised a brow. "I am sure. I might not be the best boyfriend and I'm hard to handle and I f.uck up things more than I should but I'm sure that I want Lila with me, in my life and in my future."
"I dunno." She shrugged, giving me a pretty lame response.
"Look Colbie. You can twist things as much you want but nothing is going to change reality. And your reality is that you're pregnant with my brother's baby and you're having this baby, so it's either you make things even harder and fight Jax or you let him take care of all the three of you." I shook my head.
Colbie nodded and sat down which relaxed me a little. "Yeah." She said finally. "Do your parents know?" She asked softly.
"I don't think Jax has been in a place to tell them." I admitted.
She looked back at the me. "Thank you for coming over." She said seriously. "I still don't know about Jax and I but I do know that when I bring this baby into the world I need to let Jax parent with me."
"Damn right." I scratched the back of my head, feeling a little embarrassed for hwat I was about to say. "Look, Jax is my business because he's my brother and I know whatever is going on with your ex has nothing to do with me but I know some really good lawyers if you need one."
"Thank you." She whispered. "You're going to be an awesome uncle."
I thought for a moment about the past, when Liz had had Poppy, then I broke into a grin. "I already am." I winked. "Don't let Will miss anymore practices." I added as I got up and head to the door.
"Jax won't give me another chance now...he's given me too many already." She sniffed back the last remaining tears as I stood in the doorway.
"I speak from experience when I say that that's probably not true."
"Maybe" I whispered and then reached up to kiss my cheek and watch as I zoomed off on my motorcycle.
Will ran down the stairs and as soon as he saw me his face changed. "Hi coach...I thought it was Jax." He said and I could see the disappointment into his eyes. I felt bad for him.
"Why aren't you going to practice?" I asked him since he had already skipped one and that was out of character of him.
He shrugged, looking a little embarrassed. "I...mom isn't feeling good."
I nodded, understanding his desire to protect her and worry about her. He was just a kid though. "Rob is waiting for you outside, you can go to practice with him while I stay with your mom." I explained quietly.
He glanced at Colbie, as if waiting for her opinion on the matter. She forced a smile, "Go Will, I'm fine." She said and I could see she was pretending she was just for her son's benefit. Which was perfectly normal.
"Okay...I'll be back soon. I have my phone with me if you need me I can come back home." He agreed eventually and kissed her cheek.
"Adam will take you back home and I'll be here in the meanwhile. Don't worry Will." I told him reassuringly before he walked outside.
Colbie crossed her arms against her chest, shielding herself from me even though she needed a lot more than that. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to talk." I answered as I got myself comfortable and sat on the couch, wanting her to know that I wouldn't go away.
"What if I don't want to talk?" She asked back.
"You can still listen." I shrugged even thought I doubt she'd just sit there with her mouth shut. She was Lila's sister after all.
She sat down too, letting out a sigh and looking as sad as my brother did too. "How's Jax?" Her voice came out in a whisper.
I raised one eyebrow at her, "Why don't you ask him?"
"Because we broke up." She choked on her words, the pain evident in her voice.
"You left him you mean." I corrected her, because we needed to say things how they were. She glared at me. "You made a huge mistake." I added, speaking my mind like I was used to.
"You can't tell me what to do with my life, you have no idea of what I'm going through." She retorted harshly.
"Oh I do." I said back as I took a deep breath. I had to keep in mind that I was doing this for Jax, even if it was hard for me. "Look Colbie, I'm not here to fight with you, even though it'd be easier. I'm here to help you and my brother."
She swallowed, looking on the verge of tears, "I don't see how you can."
"I don't want any of you to make the same mistakes I made years ago because there's no way back from there." I started and she gave me a questioning look, "My ex...Karlie, I don't know if you heard about her."
"Lila told me something." She nodded, keeping it vague while I wondered how much she knew. Not everything in my opinion.
"She got pregnant. I got her pregnant, even though I had no idea. She had stopped to take the pill without telling me and when she found out our relationship was already really bad and it wasn't the right time to have a baby, I didn't want to have a baby. I didn't get to take a decision though, because she took it for me too and got an abortion...I regret it every day of my life." I paused, my face straight as if I was talking about someone else because I couldn't show my feelings too. "The situation is really different with you and Jax, but there's still a baby involved. Don't give up on that baby and don't take it away from Jax, none of you two would recover from that." I added while she was looking at me with super wide eyes. "It took me a full year to say all this to Lila and only my family knows about it, so I hope you see me telling you this as a proof that I want nothing but the best for both you and Jax."
She brought a hand to her mouth, her eyes filling with tears, "I'm so sorry Travis. I had no idea." She choked on her words then let out a sob, no matter how hard she was trying to control it.
I scooted closer to her, grabbing her hand gently and pulling it away from her lips as my other hand lifted and wiped her tears. "Don't cry Colbs." I said softly, it didn't matter how mad I was, I still didn't like seeing her cry. "It's in the past now."
She shook her head, "You're still thinking about it everyday, you said that."
"I do." I agreed, but that wasn't my point, "And that's why I don't want you to have something so awful to haunt you for your whole life too."
"If I didn't keep the baby I'd still tell to Jax..." She trailed off, struggling to keep her sobs in check but it was useless.
I grabbed her hands again, this time squeezing them as I tilted my head to make eye contact. "Don't do that, I beg you Colbie. Keep this baby." I told her both honestly and softly, hoping to get some sort of effect if I showed her some emotion. I wasn't made of stone after all.
She swallowed, singing as she looked back at me. "I'm keeping it." She breathed out.
"Thank god." I muttered under my breath, feeling slightly relieved but it didn't last long. It was just one step and she had many to take, I refused her to let ruin my brothers life, or her own. "Call Jax and tell him, he's torturing himself and I've never seen him so miserable."
"I think it's better if he's out of our lives now when we can still get over it instead or doing it when he'll get tired of us and the baby will remember him." She slurred out.
I blinked at her. And felt furious all over again. "Are you out of your fucking mind Colbie? Do you think this is the right solution?! Jax would never get rid of you but mostly he would never ever let you keep his daughter or son away from him. What the fuck are you thinking?! You're smarter than this for Christs sake!"
"I'm thinking the same thing you thought when we got together Travis!" Colbie exclaimed, my own anger fueling hers.
"What?!"
"Oh come on. You never wanted us together at all, you didn't think he'd be able to handle Will, you thought it would end badly. Jax hasn't ever been in a real relationship! It's a risk being with me and I'm not taking those kind of risks anymore!"
"Being with anyone is a risk Colbie! You do it because that person makes you happy and you trust and love them!"
"Not me!!! I do it because it's the easy way out and it's the right thing to do. But that always bites me in the ass!!!"
"I think you're comparing your ex to my brother and they are not the same person." I said softly because I had yelled enough.
"What the fuck do you know about my ex?"
I shrugged. "Only what Jax and Lil have told me. Neither of them have anything good to say."
She stood up and started pacing. "What are you even doing here Travis?! You're not exactly the expert on perfect relationships!"
"I just don't want you making the same mistakes." I replied, being surprisingly calm in her hysteria.
"I would never get rid of my baby." She replied, tears falling down her face. "Our baby." She whispered.
"Colbie." I tried to pull her back to reality.
She winced as she looked back at me. "God you look so much like him." She wiped her eyes with her sleeve.
"I admit, I was worried about you and Jax and I was pissed that he seemed to lose sight of anything else when you were around. I thought you were going too fast. I didn't think he knew what he was getting into because of Will. I thought it would end badly. Was I wrong?" Of course I wasn't. I never was.
She sobbed harder, "I don't know why this is happening to her again."
"I don't know what exactly happened with your ex. But I do know that a real man would never abandon his child even if the relationship with his mother didn't work out. I can promise you one thing. Jackson will never ever stop trying to be the best father he can be. No matter what happens with you."
She looked up into my eyes. "Jax isn't ready for this....I did it once before and it's so hard."
"No one is really ready." I shrugged. "And I never raised a child so you're more of an expert than I am. But family is everything to Jax. To all of us. Just like it is to you and Lila. He misses Will just as much as he misses you."
"We did go so fast. How do I know if it's real or if it was just....he's everything I want. I She don't know what makes love last."
"Love makes love last." I shrugged, watching and almost getting nauseous because she kept pacing the room like a crazy person.
She finally stopped, setting her hands on her hips as she raised one eyebrow at me, "I don't know if that's a really good answer or a really bad one."
Her words made me smirk and I guessed she was right. "Patience and devotion are what make love last." I added as an afterthought.
"What if that's not enough anyway?" She questioned.
"I don't have all the answers, no one has. You can't know what can happen in the future, you can only hope everything will be fine and do all you can to make things work." I explained even though I was aware that it was easier said than done.
"It's a lot of work." She replied matter of factly.
I nodded in agreement, "Jax can do all that. I never doubted that my brother was capable to have a relationship, he kept looking for one but the girls he went for were always wrong."
She slumped on the couch, keeping her eyes on me, "And I'm right instead?"
"Oddly enough, yes." I paused, using the most convincing voice I had, "Because you made him want to become the man he only dreamt to be before."
"You can't be so sure about me and Jax when you're not even that sure about your relationship with Lila." She muttered.
"Who says I'm not sure?" I asked and raised a brow. "I am sure. I might not be the best boyfriend and I'm hard to handle and I f.uck up things more than I should but I'm sure that I want Lila with me, in my life and in my future."
"I dunno." She shrugged, giving me a pretty lame response.
"Look Colbie. You can twist things as much you want but nothing is going to change reality. And your reality is that you're pregnant with my brother's baby and you're having this baby, so it's either you make things even harder and fight Jax or you let him take care of all the three of you." I shook my head.
Colbie nodded and sat down which relaxed me a little. "Yeah." She said finally. "Do your parents know?" She asked softly.
"I don't think Jax has been in a place to tell them." I admitted.
She looked back at the me. "Thank you for coming over." She said seriously. "I still don't know about Jax and I but I do know that when I bring this baby into the world I need to let Jax parent with me."
"Damn right." I scratched the back of my head, feeling a little embarrassed for hwat I was about to say. "Look, Jax is my business because he's my brother and I know whatever is going on with your ex has nothing to do with me but I know some really good lawyers if you need one."
"Thank you." She whispered. "You're going to be an awesome uncle."
I thought for a moment about the past, when Liz had had Poppy, then I broke into a grin. "I already am." I winked. "Don't let Will miss anymore practices." I added as I got up and head to the door.
"Jax won't give me another chance now...he's given me too many already." She sniffed back the last remaining tears as I stood in the doorway.
"I speak from experience when I say that that's probably not true."
"Maybe" I whispered and then reached up to kiss my cheek and watch as I zoomed off on my motorcycle.
(SO GOOD O.O)
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