i dont have the strength to resist or control you

i dont have the strength to resist or control you by ssaarah

I rushed into the restaurant, almost tripping over 5 people before I got to where Tristan was seated.

"Me being late probably isn't changing your opinion of me is it?" I winced and Tristan gave me a look.

"Depends why you were late."

"Oh you know, drugs and sex." I tried to keep a straight face but Tristain laughed.

"Your hair still looks like it was done for a shoot...your makeup too for that matter." I laughed.

"You caught me." I grinned. "Am I forgiven?"

"Hey anything that makes BMM money is good for me." he shrugged and I relaxed against the booth.

"I love this place." I grinned.

"Really? I figured it'd be too five minutes ago for you." he grinned and his eyes sparkled which made my stomach flip. When was the last time that had happened to me?

"I'm not that shallow." I pulled my too curled hair to one side and wondered what he really thought this was. A dinner between collegues? Friends? Was it a date? But no....that wasn't his style anyways.

"Good to know." The waiter came up to us at that point, sputtering and beaming when he realized who I was. After I let him take a photo, he took my martini order and then left us alone again.

"Doesn't that get old?"

"Honestly? Yeah. But it's not old for him. I think about how I'd be if I met someone who was to me what I am to any of my fans...honestly I'd probably be worse."

"Oh? Who would that be for you?" he grinned and I shrugged.

"Kate Middleton, Michele Obama, and Dr. Phil." Tristan choked on his drink and shook his head.

"Dr. Phil?"

"I was kidding about that one. Plus I've actually already met him." I smirked and Tristian shook his head.

"In therapy?" He teased and I chucked my napkin at him which he caught before setting it back on the table.

"So hows your harem? Any openings?" I asked as the waiter brought my my drink and I sipped it slowly.

"Why are you hoping to apply?" Was he flirting with me? I couldn't tell. It was bizzare I was usually so in tune with men but Tristan was in a whole other category.

"What are the requirements?"

"At least six feet, I like tall women. A big bust, nothing smaller than a C cup," he scrunched his face and pretended to be thinking hard. "A high IQ. I'd eventually like to introduce her to my parents and a family of lawyers is hard to impress." I was so close to throwing my drink in his cocky too sexy for his own good face.

"I'm joking," he cracked a grin, apparently liking teasing me. "Contrary to popular belief? There is no harem." I relaxed, no longer thinking he was actually the biggest asshole on earth.

"So tall women, big boobs? Not your thing then?" He shook his head.

"I appreciate beauty and it comes in all shapes and sizes."

"Yet the shapes and sizes you're around are always perfectly proportioned with flawless skin and long legs," I pointed out, thinking about the one's I'd met.

"I've never dated a model," he retorted.

"Brigitte?" I cocked an eyebrow at her remembering the bitchy redhead who besides being awful, was stunning. Tristan groaned and ran his hands through his hair. I didn't really judge him. He wasn't looking for long term and I was sure she was great in bed. The crazy ones always were right?

"I'm only human and that includes making bad decisions."

"Awww, she might have been rude to me, but I'm sure she had her good qualities." I said politely. "She was beautiful."

"She was." he agreed, licking his lips after sipping his drink and making some seriously x-rated thoughts about his mouth pop up into my head. Then again I told myself I'd been having those thoughts about most good looking men lately. I blamed it on the longest dry spell of my life. I was teetering on 9 months and losing my mind a litte. I couldn't even live vicarously through my friends because they were both sleeping with my family members. "What are you thinking about?" I blinked back into the present and felt my face flush as I swallowed nothing to be able to speak again.

"Just that I hadn't seen Cami in a while and I missed her." I replied, since it was something I thought about a lot and I was kind of thinking about her.

"How did you get there from Brigette?" He questioned and I laughed.

"I was thinking that a lot of women don't really get along with me. I need to keep the ones who do on a tight leash or I'll have no friends." I winked and he gave me a handsome smile that nearly killed me. He was seriously so damn gorgeous it was hard to believe I spent so much time wasted on being angry at him, when I could have just been drooling over him instead.

"I expect a lot of women would be jealous of you." He replied with a shrug. I nodded.

"They don't know any better. I mean the free clothes are nice, but then you have to deal with shit like casting agents and who wants that." I teased him, making him laugh.

"I never knew you had such a witty sense of humor." he commented.

"That's what happens when you judge me by my tabloid photos." I smirked and when the waiter came for our orders I splurged and opted for the steak and potatoes. I was kind of starving. Tristan ordered the same and then turned back to staring at me with an amused expression, almost like he could read my mind and found my thoughts amusing.

"You look stunning tonight," He said softly, making me lose my poker face and stare back at him in shock. That was a pretty serious compliment coming from him. This was feeling more and more like a date.

"Thank you," I smiled and licked my lips as I surveyed him. He was seriously one of the best looking men I'd ever seen in my life. Thank god he was kind of a dick or I'd never get over him. "You don't look so bad.... You're actually very good looking when you smile. It makes you look human and like that broom stick you have shoved up your ass doesn't really hurt."

"I probably deserve that." Tristan laughed.

"What's the deal with you anyways? You're always so tense at work."

"I take my job very serious. I'm a perfectionist. I'll try to loosen up though," he added with a wink.

"What do you do to loosen up?" I asked, smirking as I leaned into the table before realizing how sexual that sounded. Not that I hadn't meant it to. "I mean besides sleeping with 3 beautiful women." I shrugged it off and watched as he grinned a little wider.

"Hang out with my friends, read a good book, sleep in past seven...." He shrugged and I shook my head.

"If it wasn't for the girls you would be kind of boring wouldn't you?" I teased him and he laughed.

"I've told you I was!" he agreed. "Now you listen."

"Can't be boring in bed if women are agreeing to your deal though..." I trailed off, my mouth running away with my thoughts. I licked my lips again and tried not to think about what kind of sexual genius would make strong professional women totally cool with the idea of coming back for more when he had other women on the side.

"I'm not going to go there." He smirked and I groaned a little.

"Probably a good idea." I nodded. "You were never a party boy?" I asked, smirking as I tried to picutre Tristian in a club.

"Not really." He laughed.

"Yeah, I hate parties." I agreed, trying not to laugh, but then thinking how it was really no surprise he was friends with Ben. Both of them were too cocky for their own goods but were really kind people once you got to know them. Ben was never a party guy either, thought that may have had to do with the fact that he'd had a kid. I wondered what would have been different if I had been the Lindsell who got knocked up too early. After all, Ben's life now seemed almost perfect, while mine was a little lost.

"What are you thinking about?" I blinked back at Tristan. "You get this far off look on your face when you're thinking about something too hard." He smirked. "It's cute.

"I was thinking about Ben." I smirked and Tristan rolled his eyes.

"Don't worry I'm not going to tell him that you asked me how good I was in bed." He replied as seriously as he could as my jaw dropped.

"I did not!" I exclaimed while Tristan's face slowly morphed into a wicked grin. "You're screwing with me." I shook my head. "I meant I was thinking about how it's not really a surprise that you guys are friends."

"Why's that?" I shrugged.

"I don't know, you fit well together I guess. Too bad Cami doesn't have a twin, she'd probably be perfect for you too." I joked and Tristain sighed.

"It is too bad Cami doesn't have a twin." He nodded and I found myself feeling slightly jealous at the way his face went all wistful. Damn it.

"Is this a date?" I asked, suddenly, needing to know before the question drove me nuts in my head.

"For someone who claims to be so insecure? You really do keep proving yourself wrong," he replied with a grin. I wasn't sure when I claimed to be so insecure. I thought I was pretty much as confident as the next girl, with my up days and my down ones.

"Is it just me or do you avoid answering everyones questions?"

"Do you want this to be a date?" My god he was impossible.

"I want you to stop deflecting and give me a real answer," I replied and leaned into the table, catching a whiff of his scent as I watched his eyes travel down to my chest and his eyes darken just slightly. "Good answer," I said under my breath, the feeling of his gaze on me making me hot.

"What?"

"If this wasn't a date? You wouldn't be checking me out so much," I shrugged, feeling validated. At least for now.

"Your dress is distracting me." I looked down and realized that leaning in made my tits practically fall out of my dress and I shrugged before looking back up to him.

"You should see me out of it," I said softly, not able to help myself. Then Tristan groaned....oh my god the sound was so sexy. And knowing I'd made it happen? I was getting hotter by the second.

"What happened to you no longer being interested because I'm a lost cause?" He asked, with a slightly strained voice.

"Honestly? The fact that you are the only guy I know who I could say that too and get nothing out? Absolutely no spark of interest from you? I'm a little intrigued..." I trailed off and pulled my hair over to one side as I thought about it. "I do still think you're a lost cause though... I'm just having fun playing with you." And fantasizing about angry sex with you in a multitude of places while I was unfortunatley alone in bed.

"God you're brutal," he leaned back in his seat and let out a breath before calling the waiter over after getting his attention.

"Is everything alright?" His attention was on me and I could feel Tristan's annoyance. I just smiled while he talked.

"We'll be taking our food to go. Can I get the check?" he asked. I rose my brows. This was an interesting turn of events....

"I know you've never been on a date with a model before...but we do actually eat. I don't order steak and potatoes just for show." I teased and he smirked.

"I'll make sure to remember that." he nodded. "If you're starving you can eat it at my place." I widened my eyes.

"I've never been to your place." He gave me an amused look as he handed the server his card.

"I'm aware of that." God was his voice deeper right now? He sounded sexy as hell.

"Where do you live?" I asked, hoping my voice didn't sound shaky. Was he really coming on to me right now? He wouldn't have asked me to his place if he wasn't right?

"Just a few blocks away actually. Did you drive here?" I shook my head.

"I took the company car from the shoot."

"Great. Can you walk a few blocks in those shoes?" I gave him a look. I could run a marathon in heels. Perks of doing runway for almost ten years. "Sorry stupid question." he grinned as he signed the check, leaving a hell of a tip for a guy who flirted with his date and didn't even finish serving us. Maybe he wasn't such an as.shole after all.

"This is a ritzy neighbourhood." I commented as we passed one set after another of luxury apartments.

"Your parents pay me pretty well." he joked and I smiled before he stopped at the building at the end of the street. It was taller, but older than the other ones. A cute building surrounded by the newer archetecture. It looked like the kind of place I would live.

"I like it." I smiled following him into the elevator and feeling like it was suddenly too small. What was happening right now? I felt...nervous.

"Are you okay?" I looked towards Tristan and nodded.

"Yeah." I assured and he smirked.

"You do know you only want me because you can't have me right?"

"You're the guy who just invited me to go home with him." I replied, feeling more relaxed when we were teasing each other.

"Maybe I'm hoping if I show any intrest you'll get bored." his eyes were glittering with amusment and I chuckled as the elevator doors opened to his floor and I followed him into the last door on the right. He set the food down in the kitchen and started pulling it out as I surveyed the open concept apartment. It was spacious. Nice, but definatley a batchelor pad.

"Only if you fu.ck the same way you kiss." I replied finally, leaning into the counter and shooting him a smirk. He looked back at me, his expression too hard to read before he was taking a few steps closer. Before I knew what was happening his hand was tilting my face up slowly, cupping my head in one hand.

"You don't really know how I kiss." he said softly, his voice definitley deeper this time. I swallowed, my whole body on alert, focused on the place he was touching me. Was I dreaming right now? This wasn't actually happening in real life was it? I mean this was Tristan.

"Then it's too bad we agreed not to kiss tonight." I hoped he didn't realize how breathy I sounded. I couldn't help it. Just one simple touch from him and it was like he turned on a switch inside my body.

"I didn't agree to that." he replied and then he was lowering his mouth to mine. It was like slow motion until our lips touched. It was the softest, sweetest kiss any man had ever given me and then again and again his mouth moved over mine, slowly weakening my entire body. Finally he got tired of teasing and kissed me hard, his hand going to my waist and pulling me flush against him as his tongue teased my lower lip. I moaned without being able to stop myself. I had fantasized about this for years. Literally, and yet when I had? I'd pictured frenzied lust filled kisses, angry kisses. Not this. He was.....god he was a master. I was a goner.

"Tristan." I moaned into his mouth instinctively, sounding needy...and it was because I was. Nothing had ever felt so good as this did. He wasn't a bad kisser. He was the best kisser on earth. Easily. I felt his large hand move slowly down to my backside as he pulled me harder against him and I fought to catch my breath. He kept kissing me senseless before his hand slipped under my dress and was touching my skin. His touch felt like pure fire and I groaned against his mouth.

"Do you always forget to wear underwear on your dates?" he asked, pulling his head back only a couple of inches to smirk down at me.

"I wasn't sure if it was a date or not," I grinned back, biting down on my lower lip as he looked down at me with a heated gaze that made me wetter. I would have given anything to read his thoughts right then but before I could decipher the look on his face he was turning my body around and then sliding his hands slowly up my body before yanking down the zipper that was holding my my dress.

"And now?" he asked, as I wiggled out of the dress and turned around towards him.

"Definitely a date," I replied and wrapped my arms around his neck. Tristan lifted me up effortlessly and set me on the counter, his hands moving up my thighs and pushing them apart. I felt raw, exposed, like I wanted to both run away and also grab and pull him closer. He didn't need the help though. His head dipped and then he was taking my breast into his mouth, sucking one nipple and then the other until they were pebbled hard against his tongue. He looked into my eyes as his thumb slipped between my legs and and he slowly rubbed my clit just enough to make me ache.

"If I take you on another date, are you going to be naked under your dress again?" he grinned, kissing his way to my breast and spoiling me again.

"Is that what you want?" I breathed out, trying to regain normal thought. Tristan nodded and I groaned as he unbuttoned his shirt slowly while his eyes ran over me hungrily.

"Touch yourself," he ordered, shrugging out of his shirt and revealing what was, quite simply, pure male perfection. He was fucking flawless and I wanted to run my tongue over every chisled muscle on his perfect frame.

"What makes you think I'll do what you ask?" I grinned at him when I finally tore my eyes away from his body and moved my hand between my legs slowly, whimpering while I rubbed a slow circle around my clit and then pushed a finger inside, finding myself soaking wet. Tristan groaned....loud and it spured me on, that sound would be something I thought about every time I did this....whether he was here to watch me or not. He put his hands back on my thighs and spread my legs to keep watching me. The feeling of being the center of this kind of attention had me almost coming.

"You're doing what I asked," he set his hand on my wrist and stopped me, lifting my fingers to his mouth and slowly sucking on them. I was no stranger to sex, even to good sex, but this....this epic sexiness.....was new territory for me. Tristan Williams? Was a new kind of hot.

"I think I'd do anything you asked me to do right now..." I admitted and I watched as he lowered his head. Oh my god he was going to go down on me right now. His tongue licked up my thighs to my pussy, running flat up and then slipping inside of me, feeling better than anything ever had. Ever. "Fu.ck." His eyes were still watching me, making the experience almost too intense and I closed my eyes, swearing and mumbling incoherently when he started nibbling on my clit.

"When you do that..." he trailed off, and I had no idea what he meant but also couldn't begin to care when he sucked me into his mouth.

"Is this really happening?" I moaned, tangling my fingers in his hair as he chuckled and the vibrations made me jerk against him, before he slid two fingers back inside of me, catapulting me headfirst into an orgasm so intense I didn't even know what I was saying as I came. His name, broken english and french curses as my body was overtaken by intense pleasure.

"Did that feel like it really happened?" Tristan murmered against my thighs as he placed soft kisses against them and I watched him. If I thought he was gorgeous before? It was nothing compared to him half naked, kissing in between my legs like I was the best thing he'd ever tasted. I just nodded, awestruck, watching his lips turn into a wicked smirk that made me groan and almost start panting. I was having an inner dillemma. The good rational Chloe said that sleeping with Tristan on the first.....date? Well it wouldn't exactly prove I was a different girl from the hot mess I used to be. But the bad girl inside of me didn't care, all she wanted was more, more, more.

"Take off your pants." I gasped, the bad girl winning out in the end as I stared at the bulge his erection was creating. My mouth watered as I thought about seeing all of him naked. It was something I had fantasized about of course....but the reality? So far it was a million times better.

"Why dont you take them off?" he challenged and I rose a brow at him before hopping off the counter and reaching for his belt.

"You've thought about this before...." I whispered, leaning in to kiss his neck, tasting his skin, inhaling how good he smelled.

"Chloe..." Tristan trailed off in a warning that made me pull back.

"Really not going to tell me? Fine. I'll give you something to think about." I pushed down his pants and boxers at the same time as I got on my knees. I was not prepared. He was....wow.

"I've thought about this..." he admitted horsely and I pulled my eyes away from his dick regretfully to look up at him.

"Yeah?" I asked softly, a smirk forming on my lips. He nodded as I wrapped a hand around him tightly and he made that sound again, that gutteral groan that killed me. I kept my eyes locked on his as I slowly started licking him over and over, swirling my tongue, sucking him into my mouth lightly before pulling away. God his dic.k was literally perfect. I could do this all night easy.....I moaned and took him to the back of my throat, tilting my head up to take as much as I could and pumping what was left with my hand. That's when I felt his hands reaching into my hair, taking it out of the few pins holding it up until it was falling down my shoulders and he was tangling his fingers into it while he kept making the sexiest sounds I'd ever heard come out of a man.

"This view is the only thing I'm going to think about for the next few days...." his voice did things to me as it was....but those words? Ugh. I hummed lightly against him before looking up at his face and seeing his eyes shut tight.

"Why aren't you watching me then?" I asked softly, pulling away only to speak before taking him back into my mouth deep while my hand moved to his balls. His eyes were immediatley back on mine and full of such raw wicked heat I almost came again without even a touch. "Cum for me... I want to taste you..." I moaned, licking him over and over.

"Ugh," he groaned, and I could feel him holding back. I smirked, taking him into my mouth, slowly sucking in another inch....then another. He tensed when I'd taken him all and came, hard and fast, I struggled to swallow all of him and the fact that he came so hard for me made me moan as I licked him clean. I pulled back and licked my lips but before I could say anything....like how watching him cum was better than coming myself, he'd scooped me up into his arms and my legs wrapped around his waist instantly.

"You taste so good... I could do that all night," I whispered feeling something in him shift before he turned and pressed me hard and fast up against the wall.

"If you keep saying things like that Chloe..." he trailed off, staring into my eyes before he was pushing his dick into me. My head fell back enjoying th sensations before he thrust hard and deep and I screamed. Fuck he was so big. It hurt, but in the most delicious way and when he did again my moans filled the room.

"Tristan!!" I wrapped my legs tighter around him, keeping him deep inside of me while I struggled to get a breath.

"God you're gripping me so tight...." he growled into my neck, his hands on me digging in hard as I messed up his hair with my fingers.

"It's been a while." I breathed out, getting used to him and how fu.cking unbelivable he felt. If I thought his dic.k was perfect before? It was nothing to how it felt inside of me. Almost too big...but just right. Perfect. Like he was made to be inside of me. I squeezed my muscles around him to feel him harden further and he let out a gutteral groan and pulled back only to thrust in even harder than before. I screamed again and he pulled back to look into my eyes.

"What are you doing to me?" He groaned before he kissed me fiercly. This was what I had wanted for years, and yet it was so much more than I ever imagined. It was like we were both struggling to get more even when we didn't know if there was more to get. Tristans mouth moved across my jaw and to my neck, biting and nipping hard enough to sting and then fade into pleasure that made me shiver. Then his lips were on my breast, sucking my nipp.les into his mouth one after the other as his hips found a rhythm that I matched and was slowly driving me crazy. I was gripping at him anyway I could get, his back, his shoulders, his hair and I was fastly approaching insanity with how good this was.

"Oh god don't stop this....don't ever fu.cking stop this...." I begged, my head falling back as I focused on all the sensations. The feeling of his lips and teeth on my body, his hands holding me tight, the wall banging against my back every time his thick co.ck pushed inside of me again. Tristan groaned and slapped his hand against the wall for more support as I tightened around him. He sped up, fucking me hard and deep and so good....so so so goood.....

"God," I heard him choke out in a barely constrained voice. But I didn't want him to hold back. I had seen the Tristan that was perfectly composed, perfectly good at everything he did, especially turning me down. I liked this version so much better. I looked into his eyes as his free hand moved from the wall to my clit, the sensations overwhelming.

"Yes!!! Oh my god, yes!!" I replied, my eyes boring into his while he rubbed me and fucked me and stared at me as if I was the hottest thing he'd ever seen. I vaugle heard other words leave my mouth but I couldn't of told you what I said...or maybe he had said something....who cared when I was this close to...

"Cum for me," Tristan said against my neck before biting down on it hard, pushing me farther over the edge.

"Fu.ck...." I was almost there....just a little more.....Tristan sped up again and his mouth sucked on my neck just as I exploded against him, feeling like I was in a million different pieces and then coming back together as spasms wracked my body. Tristan was groaning my name into my neck as he came just after me, with me, both of us rocking into our orgasms for as long as we could ride them out.

"That was much better than I ever expected..." he trailed off with his lips still against my neck once we finished.

"Oh were you expecting it to be bad!?" I asked and he pulled back, his eyes wide and worried.

"What? No...I" I started laughing and he glared at me, his face slowly turning up into a smirk.

"I'm kidding." I bit down on my lip and leaned in to press a kiss against his lips. He groaned and cupped my face in his hands and deepened it, making me melt into his hard body.

"Tristan..." I whispered against his mouth.

"Mmm."

"I do have some really bad news for you." he pulled back and smirked.

"Oh?" I nodded.

"I'm not bored yet." I grinned wickedly and he laughed, pulling out of me with a groan that matched my own and letting me slide down the wall. My legs gave out a little as I stood and he caught me, rolling me onto the floor beneath him.

"I'm sure I can bore you eventually." he grinned, his hair rumpled and god he smelled so good.

"So do models live up to the hype or no?" I teased, wondering if he even realized that he was breaking his rule with me....or if he didn't care. Tristan made a serious face as he fake thought about it.

"Well that's still debatable." I felt my mouth fell open as I rolled my eyes.

"You're lying..."

"Care to help me make up my mind?" he asked and extended mhis hand, helping me stand on my jelly-like legs but before I was even halfway up he threw me over his shoulder and led me down the hall. I was seeing a totally other side of this man....and I liked both of them.

"How can I be of service?" I joked back, laying on her back after he'd basically tossed me onto his bed like a caveman.

"Most of my thoughts about you include you riding me..." he admitted, making me shiver and my body react obviously. I reached for his neck to pull him down and push him back before straddling his perfect body. This was a damn good view....

"Well I'd hate to disappoint." Tristan's hands cupped my ass as I took him back inside of me, inch by inch, slowly taking him and feeling how deep he felt this way....oh god it felt so good.

"My mind is definitely made up." he groaned and I grinned as I splayed my palms against his broad chest and leaned forward to kiss him. I loved kissing him. Almost as much as I loved fucking him.

"No more talking."