stay with me, cause you're all i need

stay with me, cause you're all i need by ssaarah

 

I woke up to the feel of hot lips on my skin, down my arm, across my shoulder blades, my neck.

"Mmm..." I arched into Travis' touch as his hands wrapped around my stomach.

"You're wearing clothes..." he muttered against my skin as he pulled me closer.

"You weren't home to take them off before I went to bed." I breathed and moaned as he cupped my breasts through my flimsy tank.

"That's a lame excuse." his erection was pressing against my backside and I was already more than worked up just from the sound of his sleepy voice.

"What time is it?"

"Around midnight." I turned in his arms and felt breathless for how crazy hot he was. I'd never get used to it.

"How did you get into my place?" I asked, realizing I wasn't in his bed like I had been in my dream, but instead at my apartment.

"You left your spare key at my place." He gave me a look and I blinked.

"I did?"

"You didn't do that on purpose?" He questioned. I shook my head.

"No it also has the keys to the gallery I'm showing at this weekend. Thank god you found them." Travis laughed.

"You're lucky to have me." he said before cupping my face and kissing me totally senseless. I moaned against his mouth as I turned my body, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"I am." I whispered, breaking the kiss and giving him a sleepy smile. I tried to break through the sleepy haze to focus on my man. Mine. I smiled wider. "Hey." I yawned and then looked back at him. "What are you thinking about?" I asked softly, tracing his jaw softly.

"Nothing. What did you do tonight?" Travis tangled his hand in my hair and nuzzled my neck as I cuddled against him.

"I watched a movie and fell asleep." I paused to place a kiss behind his ear, "What about you? I didn't expect you to come over..."

"I went out with Jax and some friends." he shrugged. "I'm sorry if I woke you up."

"Don't silly, I like it better when we sleep together." I felt my face flush, never knowing if something I said would make him run away.

"Having withdrawals already? You've been in San Francisco two days only." he teased me but again I wasn't sure if it was really teasing or just him voicing his fears in a way he was comfortable. But the way he was sliding his fingers across the skin on my back as his hand snuck up my tank? It was hard to care.

"I like it better because I usually get laid, not because I'm pining over you." I teased, reaching over and biting his shoulder as he shook his head.

"Lies." I pouted.

"I'm not getting laid? Bummer." Travis laughed and pulled me closer, his hands on my skin super distraction.

"Maybe if you're good." I shook my head and pressed kisses against his neck.

"I want to be bad instead." I whipsered. "You make me want to be a very bad girl." Travis groaned and tangled his hands in my hair to pull me back.

"Lila." he growled, making me bite my lip and give him an innocent look even though I'd really done nothing wrong.

"How's Jax?"

"Didn't you see him this morning on your run?" I nodded.

"Yeah, but he was weird." Travis laughed.

"He is always. You're just noticing it?" I shook my head.

"No I mean he seemed....distracted. He didn't even hit on me." Travis rose a brow and I shrugged. "He always hits on me." Not seriously of course, we all knew it was just for fun.

"Are you telling me so I'll get jealous and kick his ass?" Trav asked, watching me as I laughed against his chest.

"No silly, I'm just saying he didn't seem like himself, I was hoping maybe he was just in a funk."

"Maybe he finally got his period this month." Travis laughed at his own joke and I rolled my eyes, but chuckled too since all the men in my life were even moodier than me.

"You'd think I'd have synched up with him after all the time we're spending together." I added, making Travis laugh out loud again.

"Damn it Lil you kill me." He shook his head.

"Nah, I stopped wanting to kill you after I found out how big your dick was....it would be a waste." Trav's smirk got worse and and he shook his head.

"You never wanted to kill me."

"Maybe." I licked my lips and moved to tangle my lips with his before moving to nuzzle his neck again.

"So is that what you really like about me? My huge dick?" he asked and I pulled my head back to shoot him a silly look, "Your words not mine."

"Yeah because you're so modest." I chuckled, "But to answer your question, yes." I added and broke into a fit of giggles out of nowhere, probably because I was tired and just generally silly.

"Thank god, because what I really like about you is your tight pussy." he replied, making me stop laughing but keep the smirk. I liked how we were.

"Such sweet words."

"Always." Travis leaned down, his head hitting the pillow as she hit the pillow.

"Hey." I broke the silence and poked his side, "No sleeping! You woke me and now I'm wide awake!"

"And what do you want to do instead?" he asked.

"I want to watch a movie." I replied. "And I want you to cuddle me. Then you can fuck me to sleep."

"It sounds like a good plan." He laughed, a sound that warmed my heart.

"I love when you laugh."

"You love me period." he winked at me, getting less and less weird about hearing the words. Then he picked me up and I cuddled against his hold as he carried me into the living room.

"I'm starting to think that I spoil you too much."

"That's because you love me too." I kissed him, not really thinking about my words when he set me down and I rummaged through the movies, picking about five of them before handing them over to Travis. "You pick." I grinned and he looked at me for a minute. I thought he was mad at me but then he gave me a soft smile.

"Okay." He took the movies and then looked back at me. "These are all terrible." he laughed.

"I know it." I smirked at him. "I'm hoping we make out for most of it." I winked and he shook his head.

"Who needs a movie for that?" He tossed them aside and grabbed my waist, hauling me underneath him before kissing my shoulders, my neck, biting and sucking.

"Mmmm....you should be in the movies." I moaned and he pulled his head back grinning.

"Doing what?" He caught my lower lip between his teeth and tugged before letting me speak.

"Me." I grinned even wider.

"Naughty." I nodded eagerly.

"I have lots of naughty ideas, you'll have to keep me around to hear them all." I wrapped my legs around his waist and arched into him.

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours." He said in a low deep voice, his eyes looking down at me with lust and admiration. Ugh he was so hot.

"I already told you one. That would make it your turn." I reminded, pressing my lips against his throat as I continued dry humping him to get some friction between my legs.

"You want a video of me fucking you Lil?" he grinned, pinning my hips down to tease me further. "What would you do with it." I shrugged.

"Sell it online." I laughed, though seriously he could probably make a fortune in porn. His di.ck was fucking flawless.

"I'd make millions." he grinned back me as he pressed hsi hips against mine.

"I would too." I moaned softly and tossed her head back, the feeling of him making me crazy. I swear I was a different girl with Travis. One that was all about getting him naked. Not that I hadn't always loved sex, but I'd never been so consumed over it. I wanted to know everything about Travis, all his hopes and dreams, likes and dislikes. But whenever he was too close to me my body didn't want to listen anymore. I shivered as Trav brushed his nose up my neck to whisper in my ear.

"As someone who works with money, and tons of it, I say it'd be a good marketing operation." he said against her skin before nibbling my lobe. "It'd have downsides though."

"Like what?" I asked in a breathy voice, running my hands down his chest not so gently.

"Like." he paused as he ground his hips against mine and groaned, "I'd have a line of women out of my door hungry for me, which would be good if I wasn't already in a relationship." I struggled not to roll my eyes. As much as I felt like I needed to be what Travis needed in bed to keep him? I didn't actually think I had much competition.

"But they'd be no eleven's." I replied softly, using his nickname for me and pressing against his body, this time just because I wanted to be closer.

"Good point." he said simply and then kissed me hard and fast, his hands moving down my stomach then back up, under my tank to cup my chest. I felt tiny against his hands....always

"Trav...." I moaned, the feeling of his hands on me so overwhelming.

"I can't stop touching you...." he groaned, looking a little conflicted. I smirked.

"Its not a bad thing." I replied, arching into his touch.

"What if I just want to talk?" I blinked and then felt myself smiling sweetly at him.

"You can talk while you touch me Trav."

"What do you mean?" I reached up and kissed his jaw softly, then his lips, closing my eyes and staying pressed against them a little longer than I had intended.

"I don't think there are any rules against touching and talking." I replied, tangling my fingers in his hair. "I'll touch you too."

"You looked impatient before." he commented. I laughed.

"Yes, well something about you turns my libido up as high as it can go, but I assure you I can do more than fuck you senseless." Travis grinned, rolling his thumb over my nipple and pulling a soft moan from my throat. "Even when you do that." He moved his hands to my waist, just under my breasts, still slowly seducing me but in a much more intimate and comfortable way than the mad race to get as much of each other as we could. Did that even make any sense? I wasn't sure.

"A woman of many talents." He grinned and reached down to kiss me again. God it felt so much like a real relationship, like we'd been together for years instead of months and yet it still felt so new too. Half of me wanted to run away and the other half was imagining a life with him. It was a confusing feeling.

"Yes." I agreed.

"How was San Fransisco?" I cuddled into him further, shivering as he started moving his thumbs against the lower part of my breast, loving every second of this.

"Lovely." I smiled. "I feel exhausted though. I've never painted so much in my life."

"I can tell." he grinned. Your fingertips still have blue and yellow on them." I pulled my hands away from him to look and laugh.

"Occupational hazzard." I teased, rocking into him and feeling him hard against me. It was a new kind of seduction, but if possible I felt even more turned on, I wasn't even sure I'd need more than this and to fall asleep in his arms. Then I could wake up in them and take what I wanted from him until we were exhausted. I loved weekends when we were both free. It hadn't happened since that first weekend we'd spent together. And god this was so different.

"God Lila I can't keep this up." he groaned and shut his eyes tight as he clenched down on his jaw.

"What?" I blinked back, wondering what I had done wrong. "What happened Trav?" He took a deep breath, looking like he had more on his mind than I even did.

"Nothing." he grinned finally, shaking his head. "Only this is not working for me. If you keep teasing like that, there's no way I can talk and say something with a sense too." I found myself smirking at that. Oops.

"Like how?" I asked and faked an innocent face.

"Like this." he answered before rocking my hips against me, making me loose thought as I moaned. "I'm so hard for you."

"I feel that." I wrapped my legs tightly around his hips, "It's good to know that you can't do two things at the same time though." I teased.

"I can talk and touch you." he paused as he lowered himself on top of me and god I loved feeling the weight of him against me. "But I can't think." he said, his hands reaching out to grasp my hips as I arched into him. "I can think and touch you, but I can't talk." he went on, moving his mouth down the middle of mychest to press a kiss between my breasts as I struggled to think too, "I'm just a man." he whispered against my skin, pushing my tank off and taking a moment to look over my body. "I can never win." he muttered before pushing my breasts together and burying his face between them.

"You're sending me mixed signals Trav...." I trailed off, but god when he was touching me like this....my body was so confused, wondering why it hadn't gotten more yet.

"I need to fu.ck you." he growled, leaning down and biting on my neck. It was something I needed too, but now that he had pointed it out? I was seeing it too. I didn't want to be just sex, if I had I never would have agreed to be his girlfriend. I didn't fall in love with him for his di.ck...mostly. I loved the way he took care of me, the way he loved to boss people around and never took no for an answer. I loved that he could be an as.s one minute and adorable the next no matter if he thought he was incapable of cuteness. I loved his big brain as much as the other large parts of him. I felt myself smirking and he blinked down at me.

"You're about to laugh or something." I shook my head.

"No I'm thinking about all the things I like about you." I said, reaching up and kissing him. Ugh...the way he kissed me. The way he kissed was better than the best sex I'd had before him. "Let's get something to eat."

"What?" He blinked.

"There's a 24 hour iHop a few blocks away." Travis blinked.

"Now you're confusing me." He admitted. I sat up, pulling my shirt back on because my nipples were betraying me and I knew he'd notice.

"I want to talk. Just talk." My stomach flipped nervously as I said it. Would he think this would be how it would always be? That I'd stop wanting sex and he'd have to find it somewhere else? The old fear creeped back into my brain and I was tempted to just jump him, but something in me stopped me. "Also I want pancakes." I added, knowing if I was going to keep my hands to myself we should probably be in a semi-public place. Travis got up and ran his hands through his hair before setting his elvows on his knees and groaning.

"No." he snapped finally. Great. I said something wrong again.

"No?"

"No Lila, it doesn't work like this." he turned to glare at me and I felt his annoyance spread over my body, thick and heavy. "You can't want to f.uck me, then want to watch a movie, then f.uck me again, then talk, then f.uck me and then eat. What the f.uck Lila? Make up your mind." I felt my eyes widen, he was the one who kept trying to touch me, to distract me. I couldn't help it if it worked for a few moments before I forced myself to pull away and make time for us without getting naked.

"Are you mad at me? I don't understand..." I sounded like a child and I hated it. I hated feeling so fucking out of control and insecure at the same time. Travis sighed, rubbed his hands over his face before looking back at me.

"Look Lil, I came here because I really wanted to see you." I cut him off, because the way he said it made it sound like I should be rejoicing in the gift of his presense. What had I done exactly? Been too much of a tease? He could have me in 10 seconds and he knew it. I was lost.

"Are you regretting it?" I cut him off, not wanting to yell, but knowing it would annoy him if I interupted.

"No, of course not. If you wanted to only stay in bed and sleep? I wouldn't have complained, if you wanted to f.uck I wouldn't either, but you can't change your mind one million times in 30 minutes. It drives me crazy and I don't have a switch to control my body." he paused and glanced down at his tented pants, "And now how do you think we can go anywhere public when I'm still so fucking hard?" I fought the urge to roll my eyes. That was a ridiculous reason to not get some food. And the only reason I'd suggusted it was because of him anyways! I felt frustrated, but I also didn't want him to think I was a crazy girl.

"I'm sorry. It's just." It's just you make me insane!!! I said the words in my head before looking up at him. "Are you going to leave?" He shook his head before heading to the kitchen.

"You wanted pancakes right? I'm making some."

"Okay." I nodded, feeling suddenly so overwhelmed it was hard to breathe. I wasn't used to feeling so many emotions at once. I ran my hands through my hair and shut my eyes, counting to ten slowly and trying to clear my mind.

"Lil?" I opened my eyes and Travis was back in front of me, reaching out to cup my facei n his hands.

"Hi." I said softly. "You know how to make pancakes?" I whispered. Travis chuckled softly.

"What are you not saying?" I swallowed and took a deep breath.

"I don't know how to be a girlfriend Trav, much less a good one. I've also never wanted to fuc.k someone literally all day every day, and I don't know how to compartmentalize that with my desire to know everything about you too. It's driving me nuts."

"All day every day huh?" He smirked and I pushed him.

"You are not helping!" he laughed.

"I don't think you're a bad girlfriend." He replied, wincing a little at the term and making my stomach clench. Damn it, he still didn't like the label. I was always second guessing my word choices....

"Okay." I felt myself shut down, that few sentences as much as I could say. I couldn't tell him I was afraid of him with other girls because that sounded like I didn't trust him. I couldn't say that I felt I was in a one sided relationship because I loved him and he....liked me.....because that wasn't fair to him. I felt like I needed sleep. Or maybe weed. Pancakes would have to do I guess.

"Baby..."

"Will you teach me? How to make pancakes I mean?"

"Of course I will, but only because I'm selfish." he winked and I smiled softly when he reached for my hand to pull me into the kitchen. "If I teach you, you can make them for me anytime I want." I chuckled, and struggled against the yawn my body wanted.

"Such a tricky man."

"Watch carefully because I'm not going to do all this twice." he pulled away from me and walked to the fridge. "I need a pan and a bowl." he instructed and I wondered if I even had those things. "Flour too." I knew I had that, since I had baked cookies earlier and the package called for a cup of flour.

"Did anyone tell you you're good at giving orders?" I asked, attempting to be like we usually were even though it felt strained to me.

"No, that's a first." he joked and mixed some stuff from the fridge into the bowl I'd found. "Do you think I should make a work out of that?"

"That'd be a smart idea. You'd make a lot of money." I said, watching him work as he poured three pancakes into the hot pan covered in butter. "How come you know how to make pancakes?"

"There was a time, a short one, when I was a kid and those a.ssholes of my brothers wouldn't let me play with them because I was too little." he started explaining while he flipped the pancakes. "Plate please." he said and I grabbed one from the cupboard, "So my mom one day decided to make me feel better by teaching me how to make pancakes, so that I would have been able to do something my brothers couldn't do. And I loved them anyway, so that was a plus."

"It sounds like you were a cutie." I commented, feeling validated in my want for food since look, we were talking, getting to know each other more. I didn't know what was wrong with it.

"It didn't last long."

"Did you...I mean, did you usually make them for other girls too?" I asked, the question coming out of nowhere. I knew I was special to him, that he wouldn't have given up other women if he didn't see something in me that was better....but a part of me always wanted to prove it.

"No. I never did this before. I'm with you because I want to be with you, so please Lil stop whatever you're thinking about. I don't want you to be the perfect girlfriend, I don't give a shit about labels and roles, I just want you like you've always been with me. You don't even have to try, be you and it will be more than enough." Ugh I felt so confused. How I'd always been with him? What did that mean?

"Okay." I nodded, running my hands through my hair.

"Lila." I looked up into Travis' eyes and took a deep breath.

"What?" He stared at me for what felt like forever before flipping the pancakes, the other side a perfect golden color.

"You're all in your head." He said to the pan instead of me.

"I have too many thoughts, I wouldn't know how to say them all." I admitted, shrugging.

"Try." It was a single word, but the way he said it, frustration mixed with desperation. It pulled on something with me.

"I don't know how to be how I've always been with you Travis. When we first got together it was just for sex. I honestly have no idea what made you want more then." He rose a brow at me.

"What made you want more?" He asked slowly.

"Um....everything? We have a connection, a really strong sexual one, but I know it's more than that.....it's just I don't know how else to express it. This is who I am Trav....I'm no good at being serious, and I'm not a very open touchy feely person and most of the time I'd rather fu.ck than talk. I thought you knew that about me...I thought you LIKED that about me."

"Eat your pancakes." he grabbed some syrup from my cupboard and doused both of ours and for a few moments we ate in silence. I felt a little panicked...I was really sick of saying and doing the wrong things with him. I prided myself in saying and doing the right things all the time. It's what got me into Yale, it's what got me the career I wanted and the life I wanted. I hated being wrong.

"They're delicious." I said softly, a teasing "Just like you." was on the tip of my tongue before I realized that probably also made me sound awful so I kept it to myself.

"Thanks." he said softly. "Did you watch me closely?"

"Yes I did." I felt Trav set hsi hand on my thigh and squeezed it, sending a surge of relief through me though for what I wasn't sure. I just always liked it better when he was touching me.

"Next time you'll make them in my kitchen." I smirked, liking the idea of cooking with him, but also knowing I'd never be a cook no matter how attractive that quality was to him. I wondered if his ex cooked. I licked some syrup off my lips as I pushed that thought away.

"Why not here? I don't know your kitchen."

"Don't worry, I'll introduce it to you." he smirked. "And because I have nutella."

"Yum."

"If you'll make good pancakes I'll lick nutella off your navel." He winked at me and I felt my face flushing as I smiledm ore genuinely.

"You know how to convince me..."

"I'm a tricky man." he leaned in and kissed me softly and I tasted the syrup on his lips. "Are you coming to the game tomorrow?"

"If you want." I shrugged as I set our dirty plates in the sink. I didn't want to be clingy, and coaching was something he did for himself. Maybe he wouldn't always want me around.

"Of course I do."

"Then I'll be there." I smiled turning around and leaning against the sink.

"I want you there every time." He said under his breath. I licked my lips before I spoke.

"I feel like I'm afraid to smother you Trav, I want you to have your own life..."

"If you're ever smothering me? I'll let you know." I sighed.

"Deal." I reached for his shirt and pulled him closer to kiss me. Travis wrapped his strong arms around my body and held me close as his lips moved over mine. "Thanks for dealing with my brand of crazy." Travis laughed lightly, the vibrations in his chest moving against me.

"You're far from crazy Lil." He kissed the top of my head and I smiled.

"I'd hate to see what crazy was then." I admitted, wincing.

"You would." He agreed, swallowing thickly. I wrapped my arms around his waist and set my head against his chest.

"You're good to me." I said softly. "Good for me."

"I hope so." he picked me up and walked over to the couch where he settled me against his body.

"Tell me about your night out with Jax this week." I grinned, knowing the kind of silly trouble those two could get into.

"I don't think there's much to tell." He answered as he set his head against the couch. I poked his side as I peeked up at him from my place against his chest.

"I doubt it. You two are always up to something without even realizing it."

"Sure." he laughed. "We went to our usual bar to get a beer, then we went to that new club where some friends were waiting for us."

"Tell me more. I know nothing about your friends or your night out..." I trailed off. He ran his hand up and down my back and I struggled not to chastise him for turning me on again but held my tongue.

"They're just normal guys. Like me or Jax, we all grew up together." he said quietly, looking like he was seconds away from falling asleep.

"No girls?"

"Yes girls." he answered and left it at that. "Being all guys can get boring."

"Got it." I nodded and wondered how any girl in their right mind could just be friends with Travis. Or Jax for that matter. "Hey, don't fall asleep on me." I added softly.

"Techincally, you're on me instead." he grinned like the smartass he was and I smiled back, kissing his mouth softly.

"Let's go to bed Trav. I'm sleepy too."

"Good idea cutie." he said and got up, holding me against him as he carried me to bed. "You better let me sleep in tomorrow morning."