I should be over all the butterflies but I'm into you.

I should be over all the butterflies but I'm into you. by nadiaa featuring 100 leather handbags

I took a deep breath before knocking on Ames's door. I was asking for trouble… but I couldn't help it. I couldn't stay away from him, nor did I want to. I had been replaying the kiss between us in my head for over a week now.

I swallowed as I waited for what seemed like minutes before the door opened, Ames gave me an awkward smile.

"Bonjour." I said awkwardly, god I was an idiot for showing up here.

"Hey…" He replied, blinking at me.

"The mailman let me in." I told him as I held up a paper bag full of groceries, "I brought stuff to make dinner with… I owe you, remember?" I asked him as he nodded slowly, "Are you join to let me in?"

"Oh shit, sorry. Yeah, of course." He said as he held the door open for me.

I walked past him, "Look Ames… I've been thinking…  about what happened last week." I stuttered out.

"I'm sorry…" He trailed off.

I shook my head, "No, it's okay. I'm sorry. I think you're right, we wouldn't want to get into something that would probably end and then make things awkward for everyone we know… I want to be friends. Just friends." I said trying to avoid sounding sad.

"Friends it is then." He said with a jovial tone...

I smiled and I hoped he didn't realize that it was completely fake and totally forced. I wasn't happy that we were just going to be friends… I wanted him more now than I ever did before… It killed me now.

"So where can I set up?" I grinned, raising the paper bags.

"The kitchen." He gave me a small wink as I followed him into the kitchen and I placed the paper bags on the counter, "What can I do it help?" He asked.

I shook my head, "Nothing, like I said, I owed you. Don't worry, you'll love it."

He sighed and took a seat, "Alright, well I'm sure it will be great… What are you making by the way."

I smiled as I took out some pots and pans, "Steak au Poivre with herbed frites." I grinned at him, "Oh and I made some orange-cardomom madelines for dessert. They are amazing… and so buttery." I grinned.

He smiled and crossed his arms across his chest, "I didn't realize you were such a cook."

I gave him a small shrug, "When I was off finding myself to figure out what I wanted to do when I 'grew up,' I took a few cooking classes all over Europe when I was traveling. People like French food." I grinned, "Plus I love my mother and father to death, but they weren't the best cooks. I wanted to learn for myself."

He chuckled, "People in the United States like pizza and burgers. Which is what I ate constantly when I was in school."

I laughed, "Those classless people." I said sarcastically as I gave him a wink, "No wonder the French hate them."

"I know, they're awful." He smirked back at me, "Are you sure-"

"Shhhh!" I interrupted him, "Aren't you able to relinquish control to anybody?" I asked him.

"It's not a strong suit of mine…" He smirked.

I rolled my eyes, "I can tell Mr. Fancy Pants Lawyer. Just relax."

He sighed once more, "Fine."

"Okay, good. By the way, these steaks cost me an arm and a leg, so they better be good." I told him as I crusted them with peppercorns.

"What's so special about them?"

I shrugged, "Organic, lean, grass fed beef I think. The Kim and Kanye of cows." I said, making a stupid joke.

He gave me a small laugh as he nodded, "I'm sure it will be great."

"It will." I winked at him.

"I can't remember the last time I had a good home cooked meal." He said, watching me.

"Are you not a cook?" I asked, tilting my head to the side to get a look at him.

"The Alere's don't have the chef gene I'm afraid. Except for Chloe, she's surprisingly good." He told me.

I widened my eyes, "Huh, that's funny. I would have expected Ben to be the cook. He's the one with a kid." I joked with him

He nodded, "Well he's better than me." He admitted.

"You know he's on vacation with my sister?" I told him with a smirk.

"Together?" He questioned, raising a brow.

I shook my head, "Well, they're not together. She's dating someone and I though he was too…" I trailed off.

"That's… really weird." He said slowly.

"Right?" I laughed, "Have you ever been in a room with them? The sexual tension is palpable; they much be dying." I laughed, knowing the feeling, cause about right now, I was dying from the sexual tension…

He chuckled, "It'd be good for Gabe, I guess." He reasoned.

I nodded, "I miss that little cutie." I told him as I set some herbs and spices in a bowl, mixing it up.

He cracked his knuckles and then stood up, "I'm gonna go change out of my suit."

I tried to keep a pout off my face as I nodded, "Okay" and he quickly walked away. I sighed knowing how stupid I was for telling him how I felt last week and kissing him. I didn't regret it… but I did. It was a complicated feeling.

He walked back into the room and I couldn't help but eye his entire body… I could feel myself get hot just staring at him.

"Damn." I said under my breath as I turned away and shook my head.

"What?" He asked me confused.

"I usually only see you in suits… you can really pull off a pair of jeans." I told him, trying not to blush.

"You're one to talk." He told me, "I didn't know chefs wore 4 inch heels." He grinned.

I blushed and bit down on my lip, "I'm not a chef." I said slowly, swallowing the lump in my throat. I tried to ignore him as I busied myself with the potatoes.

"What's wrong?" He asked me.

I tried to gather my thoughts as I took a deep breath, "It's just…" I started, licking my lips, "I'm not allowed to think about you like that anymore." I told him, knowing my thoughts were entirely impure and shouldn't be said if we were going to stay friends.

"What do you mean?" He asked me.

I looked back at him, "If you fantasize about someone enough you actually start thinking it might happen…" I started, "I'm still getting used to the idea that there's no chance I'll ever feel you inside of me." I whispered the last part. I honestly couldn't believe that I said it…

"Milena…" He breathed out, making me back away as I washed my hands at the sink.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have… I'm sorry." I stuttered out, completely unsure of myself. I could feel him behind me as he wrapped his arms around my waist and turned me around as he tangled his hand in my hair.

"Just one night… please…" He choked out as he looked down at me.

"Yes." I whispered, "Please." I said, grasping his t-shirt, pulling him down to my own lips and he kissed me back hard. It was so fucking amazing how I felt like I was going to burst into flames. I could feel myself get wet in between my legs and I was on the verge of dying. He felt amazing and I was in heaven…

He pressed me against the counter hard as his hands traveled down my body, holding me tight.

"Oh my god…" I managed to breath out as his trailed kisses down my neck before sucking hard on my neck.

His hands landed on my ass before he picked me up and set me down on the counter. I was losing it; he wasn't even inside of me yet, but I felt like I was on the verge of coming…

"You taste so sweet." He said, pushing my hair behind my ears as he leaned down and kissed my shoulders, "I feel like I'm drunk and I haven't had anything to drink."

"Ames…" I breathed out as my hands tangled in his hair and I grabbed it hard before pulling him into another hard kiss. "I need you." I gasped out.

He nodded as his hands slipped underneath my dress and I felt him grab onto my thong before pulling it down and tossed it to the side, "You are the most beautiful woman in the world…" He breathed out, "And you deserve the best…"

"I want you." I told him against his lips, "Please." I said, bucking my hips forward as I leaned forward and unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down.

He nodded again and pressed his body against mine and pushed my legs further apart. I pushed his boxer briefs down and tried not to gasp at his size… I imagined, but it was much better than my imagination.

"F.uck me." I breathed out as he kissed me deeply as he entered me.

I gasped out loudly as I gripped the edge of the counter, "Oh my god." I managed to say."

He groaned as he stopped, barely inside of me, "Not yet…" He shook his head and pulled away.

My eyes flew open, "No… don't you dare leave again… not this time… not like this…" I told him as he cupped my face and smiled.

"I'm not going anywhere baby." He told me, "But I'm also not going to have a quickie on the counter… don't you think we deserve more than that?" He asked me.

I groaned, "Ames…" He kissed me quickly before picking me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me into his bedroom where I slid down his body. I turned towards him and slid my hands down his chest and then grabbed his shirt to pull it over his head.

"So much better than my fantasies…" I trailed off as I looked at him.

He groaned and started kissing me hard as he reached for the zipper on my dress, "You're overdressed Milena." He whispered, tugging on the zipper until my dress fell to the floor, leaving me naked in front me.

I grinned at him, "You're teasing me Ames…" He groaned as he pushed me back on the bed, hovering over me as he kissed my lips and his hands fondled my breasts.

I moaned out and bucked my hips against him, but he wasn't biting. I was completely naked and all I wanted was inside of me and I couldn't wait.

"I want to taste all of you…" He said to me as he pulled back, looking down on my body hungrily.

I breathed out with a moan, "I can't wait anymore Ames. Fuck me, please!" I said anxiously as I wrapped my legs around his waist and rubbed up against his hard on.

"I want this to last…" He trailed off as he glanced down between us.

I groaned, "We have all night for that…" I whispered as I angled myself against his body and he gave himself to me quickly in one sharp thrust, "Ames!!" I cried out as my nails dug into his back while he held himself all the way inside of me. He was huge and I felt tight with him inside of me…

"How is one night ever going to be enough?" He choked out as he moved inside of me as his lips moved to my breasts.

"I don't know…" I breathed out every time he thrusted in and out of me. Fu.ck he felt amazing and I tried to wrap my head around the fact that we were actually doing this… and how I didn't want this to be a one time thing… I wanted him for more than a night.

"I'm going to compare every other woman to you…" He trailed off as he tugged on my nipples with his teeth.

"Ames…" I breathed out, "You know… this doesn't have to be a one time thing…" I suggested, knowing it was the wrong fucking time, but I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

"Milena…" He said slowly his body down, "I can't hurt you… but I can't resist you anymore." I knew what he was trying to do… he was trying to not hurt my feelings while he was inside of me…

I swallowed, "Okay." I said, not wanting to think about what would happen after tonight. I leaned up and kissed him on the lips, nibbling on them with my teeth.

"I imagined this… but this is nothing like my imagination…" He trailed off, looking down at me with hooded eyes.

I smirked, "I hope that means good things…" I trailed off.

He nodded, leaning back down to kiss my neck, "Amazing fucking things Milena…"

I swallowed, "I dreamed about this…" I told him as I gasped out as he hit my spot, "Since I was 18 years old…"

He smirked, "That makes me feel fucking good… I'm going to have such a big ego after this."

I bit my lip and grinned, "Well you fucking deserve it." I said, wrapping my legs around his waist to pull him in deeper as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

He pulled me up as he sat on his legs and I straddled his back. He thrusted his hips upwards, making me cry out.

"Fu.ck Ames!" I almost screamed.

"That's your spot… right there." He growled at me as he thrusted upwards inside of me, making me gasp out.

"Yes… again please!" I breathed out.

He grinned as he kept thrusting over and over again making me tighten around him. He moved so he was hovering over me once more as my legs wrapped around his waist while one of his hands rested on my ass and one tangled in my hair.

"I've dreamed about making you come so many times…" He told me.

"So… so close… oh god…" I managed to stagger out as I felt my vision go blurry. I was so close to coming that I felt like I was about to burst.

"It won't be the only time tonight baby, I promise you that." He said, those words pushing me right over the edge and all I could manage to say was his name over and over again.

I moaned out loudly, which was the only sound that filled the room, "Holy shit!" I breathed out, setting my head against the pillow as I came down from my climax. "Where have you been all my life?!" I grinned, making him laugh as he leaned down to kiss me and then cradle my body in his arms.

"Right here." He whispered against my body as he thrusted himself inside of me once more and I called out.

"Mmm." I moaned and then pressed my arms against his chest, pushing him onto his back, "My turn to lead." I grinned, straddling his waist so he was deeper inside of me.

"I've got the best damn view on earth right now Milena…" He groaned as he stared at the way my breasts moved as I bounced on top of him.

"My view isn't so bad either… tell me we won't stop till morning." I told him.

He grinned and shook his head, "I'll give you whatever you want tonight… fuck you're so tight…" He gritted out.

"Oh my god." I said, throwing my head back as Ames gripped his hands around my waist and then his hands traveled up my body, grabbing my breasts.

My hands covered his as I looked down at him with a grin, "Jeez Mila." He gritted out as he threw his head back and the muscles in his neck tightened.

I gyrated on his lap, "What?" I asked, cocking my head to the side and blinking my eyes.

"How do you do that?" He asked me, "How do you look so fucking innocent when you're riding me?" He asked with a grin.

I grinned, "Innocent, huh?" I said teasing him.

He nodded as he leaned up to take my breast into his mouth, "Fucking angelic." He mumbled as he sucked on my skin.

"Oh my god." I mumbled out breathlessly once more, "I'm going come again." I almost yelled out.

"Scream my name." He breathed out.

"Ames." I said quietly.

"Scream it Milena…" He whispered in my ear as he thrusted up one last time, hitting our climax at the same time.

"Ames!!!" I screamed it out as I felt him come inside of me. My fingernails dug into his chest as I raked them down and then collapsed on top of him, "Oh my god." I repeated over and over.

"What is it beautiful?" He breathed out as he tried catching his breath.

I looked up at him, "Why haven't we been doing this since I turned 18?" I asked him with a smile. I'm sure there was a glow to my skin and I was covered in sweat, but I didn't care. Not after coming like that. I didn't give a f.ck about anything. Just the man that I was lying on top of…

He shrugged, kissing my head, "I don't know baby…"

I cuddle up to him and wrapped my arms around him, which instantly made me feel a hundred times more safe; like nothing could hurt me.

"Thank you." I whispered at him as I tried not to become one of those emotional girls who cried after sex. It was Ames Alere; the guy I had been fantasizing over for years now and he just made me come three times without much effort. The way he looked at me made me feel special…

"For what cutie?" He asked with a small grin.

I shrugged, "I don't know… I just feel like I should thank you." I told him, looking him right in the eyes. The only thing that crossed my mind now was what would happen when morning came… "What about tomorrow?" I asked him in such a low voice, I could barely hear myself, but I wasn't able to stop myself.

He wrapped his arms around me and, pulled me in even closer, "Let's not think about this now." He told me, looking deep into my eyes, "Let's just enjoy this, right now."

I nodded without a word as we stared into each other's eyes before I drifted off to sleep.

[NEXT MORNING]

I blinked my eyes open and let them adjust to the light seeping through the blinds. I looked in front of my view and saw Ames sleeping peacefully with her arm wrapped around me… I hadn't been this happy in a long time… but last night he said that it would be one time; just once. I swallowed as I tried to push myself to move out of his arms, but they had felt better than anyone else's arms I had been in. I wanted to stay in his arms.

But I kept repeating his words in my head; just one night.

I pushed myself up slowly and wrapped a sheet around my naked body. I didn't want him to wake up and I didn't want him to know I was leaving. He was too good of a guy to let me do that, even though I knew that's what he wanted.

I quickly scoured for my clothes, slipping them on and took a look at myself in the mirror. It felt like there was a permanent flush on my face from last night and my hair definitely had the 'after sex' tousled look… What would people think when I  did the walk of shame out of his building?

I swallowed and looked back at the sleeping man on the bed… He looked happy and peaceful and I wanted it to stay that way… I padded over to the side of the bed and gently kissed him on his forehead, "Thank you." I whispered as he moved only slightly to rearrange his own body.

I walked out quietly and grabbed a pen and paper and started writing:

'Ames,

Thank you for one of the best nights of my life. Let's just leave it at that, no goodbyes, no awkward talks about how we can't be together. Nothing sad. We can always look back on it and know it was perfect… and we can keep being friends… Just friends."

Love, Mila'

I wiped a stray tear that fell down my cheek and walked back into the room and set the letter down on his dresser before I turned back and looked at him one last time, "Bye Ames." I told him in a whisper and walked away and left.