i feel so high, i come alive

i feel so high, i come alive by ssaarah 

I looked at the ticket to the Aquarium from my car. It was a sweet gesture, allowing a day off and an opportunity for to inspire creativity. But the San Francisco Aquarium? I took a deep breath and ran my hands through my hair. That had been my dad’s thing. And I hadn’t been since he died. Nor did I have much hope that it would inspire good work ethic in me. Mostly it would probably just inspire a good cry. So instead off pulling off at the exit I should have, I kept driving, deep into the city and pulled into the nearest place I could find parking. I’d wander around the city, maybe call one of my brothers and see if they wanted to have dinner. Three of them lived in San Fran. I walked along the road aimlessly before coming up to a familiar building. Not because I had been there before, but because it was almost identical in design to all of Kolton’s other bars. The top said Trenton’s Pubs in gold script, a copy of my father’s handwriting. Did he have to be everywhere today? 

“You look lost.” I felt my whole body react to the deep voice and I turned. Travis Cole wasn’t wearing a suit today, or athletic wear. Just a dark v neck tee shirt and jeans. And he looked just as sinfully delicious as ever. I blinked.

“I'm not.” I replied in a softer shakier voice than I had intended. “What are you doing here?” He rose a brow at me.

“What are you doing here?” I took a deep breath and pulled my hair out of my face with a hair tie I kept on my wrist.

“That’s my brother’s bar.” I nodded towards the building and Travis gave me a look of moderate intrest.

“Trenton’s is a good bar. There are a few of them in the bay area if I'm not mistaken.” I nodded.

“He’s hoping to expand some more.” I wasn’t sure why he was talking to me. He’d turned his interest off as soon as I told him I wasn’t one night stand material. I don’t think he understood what I wanted. I don’t think I understood what I wanted…..but ever since he’d come into my life I felt like he was always on the back of my mind. Stupid. "What?" I asked quietly when I realized how he was staring at me. 

"You okay?" he asked back simply, sliding his hands into the pocket of his jeans slowly. I shrugged, looking back at his eyes that seemed to have twenty different colors in them. 

"Yeah I'm fine." I said eventually, blowing out a deep breath.

"You're pouting." 

"I'm not pouting." I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest and looking away from his intense gaze. 

"You're not smiling either and it's a shame." he offered a small grin, his eyes not moving from mine, keeping me still.

"Are you hitting on me again?" He shook his head.

"Nah. I'm done with that." I looked back to the bar. 

“Wanna get drunk?” he grinned and shrugged his broad shoulders, giving me a flash of how they’d look, flexing and tightening without the confines of that stupid shirt. 

“I doubt I’d even fell the liquor by the time you were drunk.” He teased but I laughed, I could hold liquor better than most of the frat guys at Yale, and that was saying something. 

“You’d be pretty surprised.” I grinned and he nodded towards me.

“There’s that smile.” I blinked, not frowning but looking back at him.

“It’s not as good as yours.” I took a step away from him since I felt like my body was on fire whenever he was around it was crazy.

“Are you hitting on me again?” his grin was wide and fucking hell he was just so damn sexy. 

“Yes.” I nodded, tilting my head to the side. “Is it working?” 

“I told you already I'm not interested anymore.” I let out a long sigh and winced at him.

“How cliché is it that that fact makes me want you more?” I asked, reminding me of his words. I really didn’t have a damn filter. Where did you get one of those? I needed it.

“You’re young, cliché’s are allowed.” His hands were still in the pockets to his jeans, the pose was casual and relaxed but he didn’t emanate either of those words. Just….control. And power. And sex. He literally oozed of sex. 

“Too young?” he nodded, his face serious but with a hint of a smirk. 

"Yes, you could be my daughter."

"Oh come on, I'm not that young!" I protested with a chuckle, "And you're not old enough to have a daughter of my age anyway." He grinned. A full smile that made my breath catch just a little.

"Sister then?" he kept joking.

"That I could be, but I already have enough brothers thank you." I frowned, looking back at the bar before turning to Travis. "Do you have any?"

"Yeah I have two brothers." 

"I meant sisters." I laughed lightly and he shook his head. 

"No, we're all boys." A house full of three boys who might look like Travis? Sounded like my kind of place, I thought biting down on my lip.

"Will you buy me a drink?" I asked, knowing I’d have to face the day eventually but preferring to do it a little buzzed.

"This early in the morning?" he raised one eyebrow, "Hell no." 

"Does it mean you will later?" I asked tilting my head to the side to look at him. 

"So that you can trick me into hitting on you again and when I do you turn me down?" he laughed. "No."

“Are your brothers as hot as you?” he widened his eyes at me.

“How should I know the answer to that?” he asked, shaking his head and I shrugged.

“I know my brothers are good looking.” I replied seriously, having been told it my entire life.

“That’s a little different Lila.” I rush went through my body as my name left his lips in the gruff voice. I wanted to hear it again. 

“Not really. I'm sure if they were someone would have told you.” 

“They look a lot like me.” He ended. “Why does it matter?” I ran my tongue over my lips. 

“I can’t tell you, I don’t want your head to explode from too much ego.” He rose his brow again, a smirk on his mouth and my eyes traveled there, wondering how they would feel against me, if they would be hard and demanding or soft and teasing. Or both. 

“You’ve turned me down twice already I think my ego is safe around you.” I laughed.

“Let’s not get into that again.” I shook my head. “Well if you wont buy me a drink you’ll at least have to buy me some fries, I'm starving.” He looked at me for a second and I held up my hands. 

“I'm not trying to trick you into being friends with a girl don’t worry, you’re the one who came up to me first remember?” 

“What is it you want from me exactly?” I thought about that. There were quite a few things on my list. I wanted him to want me as much as I wanted him. I wanted to strip him naked and run my hands over every inch of his skin to see if I could recreate it in a sculpture, and then I wanted to let him reciprocate to me…the hands all over my body thing I mean. But I didn’t say that….mostly because I was pretty sure he already knew it. 

“Fries.” I replied. “And maybe a sandwich.” 

"You're serious." he said slowly.

"Hell I am." I nodded as I bit back a grin, playing with a loose whisp of hair before realizing it. Playing with my hair was a bad habit. 

"Okay, let's go." He sighed and shook his head, though he didn’t look that upset. "It looks like I'm babysitting today." My mouth dropped open and I punched his arm. 

"I'm not a baby!" I protested. He laughed and nodded towards the small parking lot across the street where my car was too. 

"You're not a baby, just little." I rolled my eyes, because calling me little wasn’t exactly an insult. 

"Where are you going, I can have a sandwich and fries at my brother's pub." I said, not moving an inch.

“Yes because I'm dying to know your brother right?" he said back flatly. I pursed my lips together. It was true, he didn’t want to meet them, no guy who looked at me the way he did would, but the likely hood that he was actually in the building was low. Still besides the sense of loyalty I felt? I wasn’t really in a family mood. Which said something. 

"Not a good idea, I know." I agreed eventually, "We're taking your car...I guess." 

"Don't you trust me? I don't bite." He shot me an amused look, glancing sideways. 

"I guess that's what I get for turning you down. Too bad." I sighed, knowing that sometimes my thoughts came out of my mouth instead of staying in my head where they belonged…but oh well. Travis stopped as his hand dug in his pocket. 

"Oh and no car." I blinked as I looked over the sleek motorcycle. I really should have known.

“You better have two helmets stashed somewhere.” I commented, setting my hands on my hips. He chuckled a sound that made me shiver.

“You’ll mess up your hair.” He pointed out. I shrugged.

“Better that then have my head smashed across the street.” I pointed out and he blinked at me. “My brother’s a cop. Seen a lot of accidents. ” He shook his head.

“You’re right you have way too many brothers.” I laughed at that before he tossed me a helmet clearly made for a woman. I felt a stab of something, like I didn’t want to wear a helmet that one of his floozys had worn, or probably all of them instead. But better that then nothing. 

“Are we going or what?” he smirked at me. 

“I thought you were going to be scared.” He grinned and I shook my head.

“You’re wrong. I love bikes instead…..Am I driving or are you going to get on?” he looked at me for a second before hopping on the bike. Ugh something about watching a man mount a motorcycle really did something for me. Then again? He did something for me. I climbed on behind him and he grabbed my arms, wrapping them tightly around his hard abdomen. And I thought today was going to suck….I scooted closer, my legs wrapped tightly around either side of him and I thought I heard him say something but it was too quiet, then too loud as he pulled out into the streets. “Do you know where you’re going?” 

"Don't you have faith in me?" he asked when we stopped at the red light and he turned his head slightly to look into my eyes. 

"I was just asking!" I snapped back, annoyed by how sexy he looked and how my hands were itching to touch more of him. The lights turned green again and before I knew what was happening we were zooming down the street, going way over any legal speed limits. I tightened my arms around his waist in order not to fall and die until he stopped at a quick halt.

"Here we are." I jumped off, never more happy to be on solid ground as I pulled off my helmet and glared at Travis.

"Were you trying to get us killed?" I smacked his arm with the helmet, hoping to leave a bruise but he just grinned, running a hand through his hair as he took off his helmet too. "What??" I asked while he stared at me. 

"Didn't you love bikes?" 

"You drove like a psycho." 

"Ops." he smirked wider and got on his feet, stretching his hand out towards me., "Come on, let's go get your fries."

"I'm not going to hold your hand." I blinked back at him and he laughed out loud. 

"I want the helmet darling." I felt my face flush as I tossed him my helmet before walking in front of him towards the restaurant. 

“I’ll remember you’re not a hand holder though.” He laughed from behind me and I rolled my eyes, glad I was walking first so he couldn’t see. The pretty hostess lit up when she saw us and it took me a while to realize she was just recognizing the man behind me. 

“Hey Travis.” She grinned and he nodded towards her. 

“Hi.” It was curt and he looked at her blankly. “Table for two?” he added when she just kept staring. She blinked and then nodded.

“Oh…right.” She looked like her feelings were a little hurt and I bit back a grin.

“What?” he asked as we sat down. I shrugged and crossed my legs, pulling my phone out of my bag and setting it next to me on the table. 

“Nothing.” I shook my head. “Reminding myself why I don’t want to sleep with you.” He rose a brow. 

“What reasons have you come up with so far?” he asked and I smirked.

“Besides that you’re old?” I teased, but if he could tease so could I. Travis laughed at that and nodded.

“Yes besides that.” He shook his head.

“I don’t want any man I’ve gone to bed with to treat me the way you just treated her.” I said seriously. “He should at the very least smile at me.” 

"Why are you assuming I slept with her?" he asked and I shrugged. I didn’t assume anything but I knew something had happened.

"She looked a little hurt."

"Do you think I'm so stupid that I'd take you somewhere near any of the girls I slept with?" he asked, looking offended. "I might be not interested but god, I have a brain."

"But-" I started. Why would it matter if he’d slept with the hostess if he didn’t want anything to do with me. Why would it even matter if he did? I didn’t care. 

"She acts like this because I didn't sleep with her, that's why." he cut me off shortly and eyed the girl as she walked back towards us. 

"Ready to order?" She asked, taking a pen out of the pocket of her white shirt that showed enough to let me and everyone else know she wore a black lacy push up. Classy. 

"Everything all right?" Travis asked, turning on the charm which seemed to shock her. 

"Yeah, you know. The usual." She shrugged nonchalantly but her cheeks were turning red already, "What about you?"

"I'm great." He smirked and I watched as the girl bit down on her lip and nodded. Apparently I wasn’t the only woman his smile had an effect on. I hope I was less obvious about it though. "So, uh, what are you taking?"

"Just coffee for me." She replied and I eyed him, annoyed that he would just drink and watch me eat like a creeper. That wasn’t going to change my mind about the fries though. 

"I'll take a chicken focaccia sandwich, fries, and some water thank you." I said in monotone before giving the menu back to the girl who smiled again at Travis before walking away. 

"Happy now? Did I smile enough?" 

“Yes actually that was more than enough, she looks much less like she wants to go cry in the back room.” Travis shot me another look and leaned back. 

“More than enough?” he questioned slowly. I nodded and wished I’d gotten some coffee too because I felt a little exhausted.

“Not only did you pay her some attention, but you did it by ignoring the girl you’re with. I'm sure her ego is all settled now.” I laughed. 

“Huh….you’re annoyed when I don’t pay attention to girls, you’re offended when I do. Is this normal date behavior?” 

“I'm not offended. But that’s because I'm not your date either.”

“Fair enough.” He grinned and I had to look away because every time the damn man smiled I felt like my panties might actually just disappear. 

“If we were on a date we’d be in bed by now.” I said it without thinking but honestly I knew it was more than true. 

“It’s pretty early.” Travis replied, and I could hear his grin even though I didn’t look at him, instead flipping through the dessert menu. 

“And?” I asked, cautioning a look into those stormy eyes. Damn it. Mistake. 

"And nothing." he shrugged as he stared at me, something I’d come to realize made me feel super uncomfortable….no that wasn’t the right word but still I looked away. "Thank you." I heard him say to the girl and I looked up, watching his eyes following her as.s. If he was so interested why’d he turn her down? I reached up and snapped my fingers under his nose. 

"Hey, don't get distracted you were about to say something." 

"I said nothing instead." He leaned into me and I leaned back afraid if he got too close I’d actually lose my mind. He rested back against the chair when I did and shook his head. "You might be the biggest tease ever."

"What?!" I crossed my arms in front of my chest. How was I teasing him exactly? "We were taking and-"

"If we were in bed we wouldn't be talking." He cut me off, reaching down for his much and taking a long sip of his coffee while I pictured his lips on me instead. 

"What would be doing?" I head myself ask without even fucking thinking. Damn it Lila you and your mouth….. 

"I'm not going to give you material for your dirty dreams, I'm sure you already have enough fantasy to guess what I could do to you." he answered quietly, even turning me down it was sexy. I let out a deep breath and shook my head.

“It doesn’t make any sense you’re not even my type.” I growled at the table and heard him chuckle.

“Right back at you.” I shot him a glare, annoyed mostly because I couldn’t keep my damn mouth shut and he had the nerve to be close enough near me to hear. Also close enough to take in every delicious feature that made him up. And smell him. A clean effortlessly sexy scent that wasn’t cologne. 

“Good.” I nodded. 

“Good?” 

“Can we change the subject?” his lip quirked upward. 

“Do I frustrate you?” That was a serious understatement. I needed to have a Travis radar so whenever he was within 300 feet of me I could prepare for it. 

“Very much.” I admitted. He leaned into me again, the fresh clean male scent almost completely overpowering me. 

“Good.” His grin was wide and it was taking a lot out of me not to reach out and trace the lines of his lips. 

“No it sucks instead. You should just take me home now so we can get it over with.” I said it under my breath as the waitress set my food in front of me. I stuffed the sandwich in my mouth, eating greedily to maybe ease some of the hunger my body felt. 

“Lila.” His voice was in a much lower timbre that actually set vibrations through the table. I looked up at him with a mouthful of food and blinked. “I’ll let that time slip but I swear if you give me an opening again it will be the last words you say until I'm inside of you.” I struggled to swallow my food without choking.

“I’ll remember that.” I whispered my body fighting so hard with my mind I wasn’t really sure who would win at this point. And now? I really needed a drink. Or a mountain of chocolate. Travis nodded, reaching for his cup and taking a long sip of his coffee.

"Good."

"Is that all you have to say?" 

"Why didn't you go to the Aquarium?" Travis asked, ignoring my question. 

"I was hoping some blonde guy would pick me up from the road and buy me food." I said seriously before breaking into a grin, taking my fries and popping a few in my mouth. They were really good here. 

"You got lucky." He commented with just the hint of that grin. 

"Oh you know that." I winked at him before taking a drink. "What about you?"

"What about me?" 

"Why you didn't go." I shrugged, crossing my legs and bumping my knee against his in the process, "Sorry." I added, annoyed I said anything because it just proved how much I’d noticed it. 

“Do I look like the type of guy who goes to Aquariums?" he asked back.

"Only if you're in the sharks tank." I laughed. 

"What, why?" 

"Dangerous and still very charming." I grinned, reaching for another fry but then realizing I’d already eaten them all. Bummer. 

"It seemed like a waste of time to me."

"But you got in town anyway?"

"I like taking out my bike on my days off." He shrugged, "Or maybe I was just looking for a prey."

“You found me instead.” I laughed and he looked at me before shaking his head and taking another sip of his coffee. “Good coffee?” I smirked.

“You didn’t really answer me.” I took a breath and looked around the room.

“If I tell you then we’d be dangerously close to being friends and I know how off limits that is for you.” When he didn’t reply I gulped down the rest of my water and set it down. “My father used to take me to the Aquarium. He died when I was 15. I never went back.” 

“I'm sorry.” I nodded.

“It was a long time ago.” I sighed. “Way to bring down the mood right?” I asked, setting my head on my hand and watching him. 

“How many brothers and sisters do you have?” he asked, furrowing his brow as I chuckled. 

“There are 8 of us all together.” 

“A lot to raise alone.” He commented and I felt a rush of pride for my mother. 

‘Yes. My mom is an incredible woman, but there wasn’t much raising left to do. I'm the baby and I only had 3 years left before I went to Yale.” He blinked again.

“You went to Yale?” I grinned.

“What? Artsy girls can’t be smart?” I teased him. “Graphic Design might sound simple but I assure you it’s not.” 

“I have no doubts that you’re smart Lila.” Shiver. Again. Damn man drove me near half mad. “You just don’t strike me as wanting to go all ivy league.” 

“I wanted to get away for a while. It worked.” 

"Why did you want to get away?" I chuckled and shook my head, thinking that for a guy who was never just friends with girls, he seemed to be pretty good at it. 

"I can't give away all my secrets." 

"Why not?" he grinned "You got me intrigued already..

"It wouldn't be far, you're sharing nothing." I pointed out, watching his eyes go from interested to….heated. It was an overwhelming thing to have Travis Cole look at you like that. "And don't give me that look." He just shrugged, his look not changing in the slightest. 

"I'm not saying anything." 

"You don't really need to." I sighed. "I'm easy to read?" That was a loaded question. Sometimes I could see just what he was thinking, but others I had no idea. 

"Not at all." I said slowly. "Tell me more.” 

"I like hearing you talk.” 

“I think that might be the nicest thing you’ve said to me.” I replied softly moving my gaze from his lips to his eyes. “But do you like hearing me talk? Or do you just like watching?” he smiled, a smile that even reached his eyes and made my entire body feel achy.

“Can’t it be both?” I licked my lips and shrugged.

“Still, I'm not saying more unless you say something too.” 

“Do you want to watch me talk Lila?” I grinned and tilted my head to the side. 

“Maybe.” My body was so damn aware of his, of every time he moved no matter how big the movement. 

“I went to Stanford for finance.” I blinked at him. “What?” I shrugged.

“I guess I assumed something else.” He shot me a look, and I went on. “I figured you went to school for sports and got injured…..couldn’t play.” His body stiffened and he shook his head.

“You couldn’t know that.” He replied and I shrugged.

“When I was at Will’s game and we were talking. It’s just the vibe I got.” He stared at me again, this time it wasn’t a come on. He wasn’t checking me out more like trying to see inside me. “I'm sorry if it brings up bad feelings…..” I trailed off, knowing he hadn’t admitted I was right but I’d always been surprisingly intuitive, and perceptive. My mother called it a gift. It drove my siblings crazy. 

“The past is the past.” He said gruffly and I nodded, though I entirely disagreed. The past shaped us. Without it we wouldn’t be who we were.

“You said you had brothers.” He nodded.

“Two. I'm the youngest.” I widened my eyes and he blinked again.

“What? Your mind reading didn’t guess that about me?” he teased and I laughed, glad to be back on solid ground with him at least for a moment, when he was upset it was like he took the happiness out of the whole room. 

“You don’t come off as the baby.” I admitted, grinning as I rimmed my glass with my finger idly. 

"I said I'm the youngest, but I'm not the baby." 

"Uh, is that spot already taken?" I joked, pushing my hair behind my shoulders as I spoke. 

"Yep. Rob's little sister." I smiled, thinking about my nephew and how he always complained about not having little brothers or sisters. 

"Aw, that's cute." I started to ask about her when my phone started vibrating on the table. 

"You can take it." Travis commented, not taking his eyes off of mine as usual. I glanced at the phone and saw Riley’s number flashing on the screen….probably a bad idea to get into that now.

"Nah." I shook my head, thinking I’d text him later. 

"Did you get what you want?" he asked after a moment of silence. I just blinked at him. 

“What?" I asked, wondering what on earth he could be thinking about. 

"Your food." 

"Oh right." I licked my lips and nodded. "Yes I feel so much better now. And thank you."

"Thank you? I didn't even pay yet." He winked at me and I rolled my eyes as we got up, walking ahead of him after he’d set a few bills on the table. I stopped when we got to his bike. 

“You’re not going to drive like a crazy man again right?” I asked, making him laugh again. 

“You never know.” He grinned and tossed me a helmet. I was wary but how the hell else was I going to get to my car. 

“I'm parked in the lot you were in before.” I said strapping it on and waiting for him to mount the bike before I cautiously slid on behind him, again overwhelmed by how damn masculine every part of him was. 

“I remember.” He smirked and zoomed off making me yelp a little. 

“TRAVIS!” I yelled. “There are speed limits for a reason!!!” I held on to him tighter and I felt his abs tighten as he chuckled.

“Rules were meant to be broken darling.” He replied as I rolled my eyes.

“That is so cliché.” I said, squeeling as we turned a corner and I hid my face against his back, inhaling his scent….mmmm..I felt him stop and I pulled back when I realized I was still basically cuddling him. I tried to stop my face from flushing while I pulled away, handing him my helmet. 

“This is your car?” he asked, smirking at the Volkswagen beetle my brother Parker had gotten me for my 21st birthday in a green that he said matched my eyes. 

“Is that a problem?” he smirked and shook his head.

“Nope, it fits you.” I grinned.

“I think so too.” I took a deep breath, leaning in and pressing a kiss against his cheek as my heart beat faster. “Thanks for the fries.” I replied, walking away before I did something stupider, like kiss his tempting lips instead. I was pretty sure I was a goner when it came to him.