run baby run by sassy
“Beat you again!” Chloe smirked as she turned around, running in place as she watched me catch up to her.
“What did you do drink 4 coffee’s before running?” I asked, making a show of looking a little out of breath.
“You’re just mad that I'm faster than you.” She said, running in circles around me like a crazy kid. Did she really think she could be faster than me?
I narrowed my gaze. “I let you win, now stop doing that, you’re making me dizzy.” I grabbed her arm and pulled her into me where she made a face.
“Eww you’re all sweaty.” She pouted and I handed her a waterbottle.
“So are you.” I grinned.
“What did you do drink 4 coffee’s before running?” I asked, making a show of looking a little out of breath.
“You’re just mad that I'm faster than you.” She said, running in circles around me like a crazy kid. Did she really think she could be faster than me?
I narrowed my gaze. “I let you win, now stop doing that, you’re making me dizzy.” I grabbed her arm and pulled her into me where she made a face.
“Eww you’re all sweaty.” She pouted and I handed her a waterbottle.
“So are you.” I grinned.
We walked slowly now, heading to the place where we’d get breakfast after our morning run. Something our dad used to do with us and we’d kept up because we were going to run anyways. “Woo! I'm starving.” She admitted, looking across the way towards the café.
“Chloe?” A strong male voice boomed out and she looked up, freezing in place.
“Sam?”
The guy's strong arms wrap around her and a weird look crossed her face. “Damn baby you look amazing! What has it been? 5 years?” He paused and she kept quiet. Weird. “What are you speechless?” He smirked and she swallowed thickly.
“Yes. What….” She swallowed again and choked out the words. “What are you doing here?”
“I missed you….It was the biggest mistake of my life letting you go….” He pulled me into his arms again and I was about to punch him in the face. “I'm so glad I found you.” He whispered into her ear before he pulled away. “I'm Sam Shaw.” He said turning to me.
I shook his hand with no enthusiasm, giving him the usual icy attitude I reserved to all the guys that had something to do with my sister. This one in particular though? There was something that made me hate him immediatly, even though I couldn't say what. Plus Chloe's reaction? Even worse than when she jumped them, maybe it was a good thing though. "Your name doesn't ring a bell." I said flatly, not even try to remember if I had seen or heard of him before.
He looked taken aback by my reaction, his eyes going darker for a moment as he studied me before he went back to his previous nice look. "I was trying to be polite." He said eventually.
"I'm Benjamin Lindsell." I paused, staring at him to give him time to process my surname before I could explain it myself, "Chloe's brother."
His jaw tensed for no apparent reason and he slid his hands into the pocket of his jeans, looking suddenly uncomfortable. I didn't know what was with Chloe and idiots, I'd never understand that. "I've heard about you."
I raised one eyebrow and glanced at my sister, silently asking for an explanation, but seeing nothing into her eyes. Literally nothing. And it worried me, because she was usually very expressive at least. "How come?"
"I was her boyfriend." He cut her off before che could even start, then shook his head and looked at her, "I wish I still was."
I felt Chloe's hand clutching my bicep as she got closer to me, another move that surprised me. "It's been nice seeing you, but we're in a hurry so yeah." She said hurriedly, making me wonder what the f.uck was all this about. But if she wanted to avoid a guy? I'd never disagree on that.
"Can I call you? Do you always have the same number?" The guy asked and took a step closer to us, making Chloe jump a little.
Now, I was no expert in relationships and breakups, but I was expert in how my sister was and never, ever, before I had seen her act like this, so silent and nervous. "We really have to go." I said coldly as I stared at the guy, not giving him time to say something back and walking away instead. Whatever this was, I could read my sister and if she didn't want him to have her number he'd take it better if it was her brother to break the news. I dragged her to the other side of the street, looking down at her with worry, "Chloe?"
“What?” She snapped at him, looking more than just upset.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, genuinely concerned. In other circumstances I'd be annoyed, but this felt too weird. “Why did he say he was your boyfriend?” I raised one eyebrow at her, looking for some kind of explanation.
“He was.” She said simply, walking straight towards the café and making a point of ignoring my questioning gaze on her.
“You don’t have boyfriends.”
Chloe turned to me. “You don’t know everything about me Benjamin.“ She snapped again and I blinked, speechless.
I thought it was the first time she used my full name like that. “Apparently.” I said under my breath, but I didn't add more. I just stared at her, desperately trying to read her expression and at some point I saw a tear silently running down her cheek. “Chloe!” I stood in front of her with wide-eyed concern and forced her to stop. “You’re crying.”
She blinked. “I'm sorry.” She whispered, her words coming out as if they were an apology for so much more than her tears. And at this point?
I was sick with worry. I could be a pain in the ass for my sister, teasing her, torturing her even, but she was one of the most important persons in my life. “Chlo….” I pulled her into my arms and pressed a kiss against her forehead. “What is going on?” I whispered as she silently sobbed into my shirt, my heart aching because I couldn't stand seeing her like this. She looked so hurt and I didn't understand why.
“I want to go home.” She whispered.
I pulled her towards the street and hailed a cab. “I’ll take you home Chlo but you got to tell me whats up….you’re scaring me.”
She shook her head as she sat in the back seat. I pulled her into me again, always knowing when to actually comfort. “Trust me. You don’t want to know.”
I squeezed her a little, looking down at her and offering a smile. I was lost there, I didn't know what to do. "Trust me, I do want to know." I said quietly.
She shook her head again, sliding her arm around my waist as she hid against my chest like she used to do when we were little and she needed me to console her. "No Ben no." She breathed out stubbornly, but it wasn't her usual stubborn tone, there was more only I couldn't put my hand on it.
"Please Chlo, you're making me worry." I paused to kiss the top of her head and ran my hand up and down her arm in a soothing way, "It can't be that bad, right?"
She pulled her head back to look at me, holding her breath. "It is instead." She exploded into another sob, tears streaming down her face.
"You need to tell me. I can't help you if I don't know what this is about." I reasoned out loud, so close to lose it. She could trust me, I was her brother for god's sake, I adore and I'd do anything for her, why would she keep something from me, mostly if it was torturing her so much?
"If I tell you you'll get mad." She said between sobs, taking her hands to her face to hide from me, her shoulders shaking incontrollably.
"Oh baby I won't. I promise I won't, I just want to help you here okay?" I reassured him and I meant it. Sure I got mad at her often and for more than one reason, but I wouldn't now when she was in such a state.
She took a few deep breaths, pulling away from me when the cab stopped and she glanced out the window. "This is your home, not mine." She pointed out weakly.
"You don't think I'd leave you alone right?" I raised one eyebrow at her, paying the driver in the process before opening the door and dragging my sister out. She went quiet again, her face pale and her teeth torturing her bottom lip as she stared at nothing, letting me lead her to my floor and inside my apartment. "Do you want to take a shower first?" I asked in a gentle voice, guessing that maybe she needed more time before telling me. She was going to tell me, I wasn't going to give her any other choice.
Her eyes shot up in my direction, widening a little, "You don't have Gabe today right?" She asked, for a moment loooking concerned about that, and I shook her head. "Thank god." She added under her breath and walked to my couch, slumping down and bringing her legs to her chest as if she was shielding from something.
I looked at her for a long second, anxiety eating me alive because I had never seen her like that. I joined her on the couch, pushing her hair off her face and drying her tears with my thumb, "I'm listening, if you want..." I trailed off, hoping she wouldn't close up again.
“Ben…” Chloe whispered, shaking her head and looking at the ground. “I fucked up.”
I lifted her chin with my finger and shook my head. “You know I'm not good at patience baby girl, you have to work with me here.” I whispered, doing my best to use a reassuring voice and to hide how I was feeling in that moment.
She swallowed. “I went to New York for my last year of high school.”
I nodded, remembering those months spent like an only child. It had been so weird not having my sister around. “Yes I know, I visited you.”
“I met Sam about a month after I moved there.” She paused and blinked at me. “I need some water.”
I nodded and went into the kitchen before I walked back with a glass in my hand. She drank it fast and I set my arm around her shoulder. “Chloe. What happened?” I asked again, not able to wait a second longer. I could see the pain into her eyes and I felt it too, for her.
She shook her head, running her fingers though her hair and sighing. “He told me he loved me and I believed him. I believed him because I was 17 and that’s what you do when a man tells you he loves you. You believe him.” She stopped and my hand rolled into a fist she pulled away from me, standing up and pacing. I had a bad feeling, a bad bad feeling. “He loved me and so I loved him back because he was gorgeous and older and nothing like any guy who’d ever paid interest in me before.” “How much older.” I asked through my teeth and she shot me a glare. “I'm not mad at you Chlo…” I said holding my hands up in defense.
“He was 23 when I met him.”
“He had no fucking business telling a 17 year old that he loved her.” I said shaking my head. That was exactly why I had always been overprotective of my sister, she wasn't able to take good decisions for herself. She wasn't stupid, she just didn't think enough. “He had no business-“
“He had no business beating the shit out of me!!!!” She yelled back at me. I blinked, still processing her words, but she wasn't done. “He had no business telling me that he cared about me and that he’d protect me and then smack me whenever I wasn’t perfect.” She was sobbing while I felt like I was living in a nightmare. “He had no business taking me from my friends, keeping me away from my family, taking my virginity, my heart….and then turning around and kicking me until….until I passed out.” “Chloe.” I looked at her wide-eyed and I swallowed, my mouth dry. “How….” I shook my head, trying to give a sense to what she was saying to me. I couldn't believe it, I didn't want to. “You…”
“I left him. He went too far that night and I flew back home until the bruises were gone and my ribs had healed and I hid in my apartment and drank myself to sleep every night.” She swallowed. “I'm awful. I know. Only an awful girl would live with that and not leave sooner.”
I set my elbows on my knees and ran my hands through my hair, staring at the floor as silence filled the room. Correction, Chloe's heavy breathing echoled in my ears and I swear I was going crazy. I just...I couldn't bring myself to think that my sister could have been through that hell, it made me feel really f.ucking mad but mostly it pained me. "Chloe." I started, looking back up at her and noticing how she was staring at me, holding her breath. I stretched my arm out, offering my hand because I needed to feel her there with me, safe and alive despite everything. "Don't ever say that again." I started when she sat back next to me, "You're not awful-"
"You always say that I am." She cut me off, looking at me and breaking my heart.
"I don't mean it, ever, you're a good person baby girl and I'm so sorry that this happened to you." I paused to swallow, pushing her hair off her face, "I wish I could take all your pain away, I'd bear it for you if I could."
"I...I didn't know why I believed him Ben. I hate myself for believing him and for letting him do that to me..." She trailed off before starting sobbing again.
I pulled her against me once again, my arms wrapping around her body as I let her cry because I knew that she needed that. What I needed instead was to kill that a.sshole with my bare hands. "Why didn't you tell me Chloe? I would've done anything...anything to help you. I would've taken care of you, you didn't have to be alone."
"I was ashamed of myself." She said against my shirt, her words coming out muffled.
"How could you keep this all for yourself all this time and let it kill you? See why I'm always worried about you? Because I don't want anything bad to happen to you and now it's too late and I swear to god I'm going to kill that a.sshole."
She pulled back suddenly, "Don't scream Ben, please, don't be mad at me." She kept sobbing, breaking my heart all over again.
I blinked, because I hadn't realized that the tone of my voice was raising up. "I'm not mad Chlo, not at you. I just..." I trailed off, words failing me and all I could do was pull her back against me, hugging her tight and thanking god that she was alive. “Who knew?”
Chloe swallowed and pulled back, shaking her head slowly. “No one.” She said simply. “Except whoever was at the hospital.”
I slammed my fist hard against the table, making her jump. “I'm sorry….” I said, trying again to keep my temper in check even if it was talking a lot. I rarely get mad, I only did when someone hurt a person I loved and when that happened I just lost it. But I knew that my sister wouldn't want that, she'd probably close up again if I started yelling. “You were in the hospital?”
She swallowed again. “I had a broken rib, stomach bruises and a concussion.” She said breathing slowly as she spoke.
I stood up and started pacing, needing to move before I'd go crazy. “I was RIGHT next to him!!” I said shaking my head. “Why didn’t you go to the police Chloe?!”
“And what end up on every tabloid as a victim!? I barely had the guts to go to the doctor!!!! Pressing charges in the US aren’t private, everyone would have known….”
“Fuck.” I just said, part of me wanting to point out that she had been stupid because now that asshole was free in Paris and also free to find her again.
“I lost it Ben. You remember….”
I looked up, memories coming back to my mind. I had thought that she had changed for many reasons after being in New York, but this...just no. “That’s when you started the partying….the guys, the drugs.”
She nodded. “I wanted to forget, and being high or drunk off my ass made me forget…..the guys? Well I figure I gave it up to a guy like him I might as well give it to anyone who wanted it.”
“Chloe…..” I trailed off, not even knowing where to begin saying my thoughts.
“You saved my life Ben. You didn’t even know but you saved me. When you told me I couldn’t see Gabe unless I got my life together I realized that there were more important things then forgetting about a guy who hurt me. That family was more important.” She ran her hands through her hair. “You protected me without even knowing about it.”
"I could've done so much more Chlo..." I said as I sat down next to her again, not really knowing how to deal with this. With her. My sister had always been hard to handle and even if now I knew part of the reason it didn't make it any easier, actually it made it harder since if I were overprotective before now she would have to come up with a whole new word.
She reached for my hand and squeezed it, forcing a small smile, "You made me feel loved. And made of me an aunt, you gave me something positive to focus on...it was what I needed."
I cocked my head to the side, looking at her as I let her words soak in. "But you're not over it." I said carefully, holding her hand in mine to let her know that she had me, she could talk to me now.
"I..." She trailed off, glancing away before looking back at me, "I'm fine."
I took a deep breath as I fought the urge to roll my eyes. I knew when my sister was lying and that was the case. "From what I saw earlier? You're not." I paused and noticed a pained look crossing her face, "And it's okay baby girl, you went through something really bad and now-"
"He's here again." She cut me off, looking absolutely terrified. "I don't know if I'm strong enough."
"You are, more than you know Chlo. Look at what you faced all alone." I said seriously as I cupped her cheek, staring into her eyes. "Plus, now you're with me and you have nothing to be scared about."
She threw herself in my arms, hiding against my chest once again, "I'm so glad I told you, I feel a little relieved." She admitted, her voice coming out muffled against my shirt.
"You're staying here today and tonight too." I said in a definitive tone, the one I used when I was giving her no other choice. "We have to figure out what to do with that asshole."
“You don’t have to do anything.” Chloe shook her head and I glared.
“Are you kidding me right now?” I asked, looking at her like she was some sort of crazy person which she was in a way.
“Its different now….He has to know I left for a reason, plus my family is close here, hell I'm a semi-celebrity…..he’s not going to hurt me now.” She said it with authority but it was just fake. And a semi-celebrity? Even if that was true it wouldn't change a damn thing.
“You said he broke your rib Chloe.” I said, trying to keep calm.
“That was years ago.”
“God if I’d known a few hours ago.” I shook my head and she stood up to look me closer in the eye.
“Ben you can’t do anything stupid, you have a Gabe what if you were to get into trouble?”
“I have a pretty good lawyer Chlo, not that I’d get into any trouble anyways.” I explained because yes I wished I could punch that idiot until he couldn't even breath but I knew better than doing such a thing. Still, I had to do something. And talk to Ames. “I'm so sorry….I’m so sorry this happened to you.” I pulled her into me again, letting her rest her head on my chest. “You didn’t even tell Cami?”
She shook her head. “She would have told you.” She paused. “But it’s past Ben and you know now…I feel like a million weights are lifted off my chest.” And then her face changed again. “Oh god Ben please don’t tell mom and dad.”
I shook my head. “Dad could do something about it….”
“Please! It would kill them, it would kill them to know they weren’t there to protect me, they’ll make me go see some crazy psychoanalyst. I don’t want them to know please….”
“I don’t think it’s a good thing to keep it in anymore….but I’ll let you tell them whenever you’re ready.” And maybe she needed a therapist, I added in my mind.
She nodded. “I'm sorry I never told you.”
I sighed. “It must have been a big burden to hold….”
“But I'm a big girl, I’ll get over it.”
I winced. “You don’t get over something like that….how could you? God you were tiny at 17….how could anyone hurt something so small?”
She rose a brow at me. “Are you saying I'm fat now?!”
I looked at her and then started laughing, even if I wasn't supposed to, but she laughed too. I guessed that we needed to release that tension in some way. “There’s my sister.” I said, kissing her forehead, “Come on let’s get you some food fatty.” I winked and she stuck my tongue out at me.
“Chloe?” A strong male voice boomed out and she looked up, freezing in place.
“Sam?”
The guy's strong arms wrap around her and a weird look crossed her face. “Damn baby you look amazing! What has it been? 5 years?” He paused and she kept quiet. Weird. “What are you speechless?” He smirked and she swallowed thickly.
“Yes. What….” She swallowed again and choked out the words. “What are you doing here?”
“I missed you….It was the biggest mistake of my life letting you go….” He pulled me into his arms again and I was about to punch him in the face. “I'm so glad I found you.” He whispered into her ear before he pulled away. “I'm Sam Shaw.” He said turning to me.
I shook his hand with no enthusiasm, giving him the usual icy attitude I reserved to all the guys that had something to do with my sister. This one in particular though? There was something that made me hate him immediatly, even though I couldn't say what. Plus Chloe's reaction? Even worse than when she jumped them, maybe it was a good thing though. "Your name doesn't ring a bell." I said flatly, not even try to remember if I had seen or heard of him before.
He looked taken aback by my reaction, his eyes going darker for a moment as he studied me before he went back to his previous nice look. "I was trying to be polite." He said eventually.
"I'm Benjamin Lindsell." I paused, staring at him to give him time to process my surname before I could explain it myself, "Chloe's brother."
His jaw tensed for no apparent reason and he slid his hands into the pocket of his jeans, looking suddenly uncomfortable. I didn't know what was with Chloe and idiots, I'd never understand that. "I've heard about you."
I raised one eyebrow and glanced at my sister, silently asking for an explanation, but seeing nothing into her eyes. Literally nothing. And it worried me, because she was usually very expressive at least. "How come?"
"I was her boyfriend." He cut her off before che could even start, then shook his head and looked at her, "I wish I still was."
I felt Chloe's hand clutching my bicep as she got closer to me, another move that surprised me. "It's been nice seeing you, but we're in a hurry so yeah." She said hurriedly, making me wonder what the f.uck was all this about. But if she wanted to avoid a guy? I'd never disagree on that.
"Can I call you? Do you always have the same number?" The guy asked and took a step closer to us, making Chloe jump a little.
Now, I was no expert in relationships and breakups, but I was expert in how my sister was and never, ever, before I had seen her act like this, so silent and nervous. "We really have to go." I said coldly as I stared at the guy, not giving him time to say something back and walking away instead. Whatever this was, I could read my sister and if she didn't want him to have her number he'd take it better if it was her brother to break the news. I dragged her to the other side of the street, looking down at her with worry, "Chloe?"
“What?” She snapped at him, looking more than just upset.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, genuinely concerned. In other circumstances I'd be annoyed, but this felt too weird. “Why did he say he was your boyfriend?” I raised one eyebrow at her, looking for some kind of explanation.
“He was.” She said simply, walking straight towards the café and making a point of ignoring my questioning gaze on her.
“You don’t have boyfriends.”
Chloe turned to me. “You don’t know everything about me Benjamin.“ She snapped again and I blinked, speechless.
I thought it was the first time she used my full name like that. “Apparently.” I said under my breath, but I didn't add more. I just stared at her, desperately trying to read her expression and at some point I saw a tear silently running down her cheek. “Chloe!” I stood in front of her with wide-eyed concern and forced her to stop. “You’re crying.”
She blinked. “I'm sorry.” She whispered, her words coming out as if they were an apology for so much more than her tears. And at this point?
I was sick with worry. I could be a pain in the ass for my sister, teasing her, torturing her even, but she was one of the most important persons in my life. “Chlo….” I pulled her into my arms and pressed a kiss against her forehead. “What is going on?” I whispered as she silently sobbed into my shirt, my heart aching because I couldn't stand seeing her like this. She looked so hurt and I didn't understand why.
“I want to go home.” She whispered.
I pulled her towards the street and hailed a cab. “I’ll take you home Chlo but you got to tell me whats up….you’re scaring me.”
She shook her head as she sat in the back seat. I pulled her into me again, always knowing when to actually comfort. “Trust me. You don’t want to know.”
I squeezed her a little, looking down at her and offering a smile. I was lost there, I didn't know what to do. "Trust me, I do want to know." I said quietly.
She shook her head again, sliding her arm around my waist as she hid against my chest like she used to do when we were little and she needed me to console her. "No Ben no." She breathed out stubbornly, but it wasn't her usual stubborn tone, there was more only I couldn't put my hand on it.
"Please Chlo, you're making me worry." I paused to kiss the top of her head and ran my hand up and down her arm in a soothing way, "It can't be that bad, right?"
She pulled her head back to look at me, holding her breath. "It is instead." She exploded into another sob, tears streaming down her face.
"You need to tell me. I can't help you if I don't know what this is about." I reasoned out loud, so close to lose it. She could trust me, I was her brother for god's sake, I adore and I'd do anything for her, why would she keep something from me, mostly if it was torturing her so much?
"If I tell you you'll get mad." She said between sobs, taking her hands to her face to hide from me, her shoulders shaking incontrollably.
"Oh baby I won't. I promise I won't, I just want to help you here okay?" I reassured him and I meant it. Sure I got mad at her often and for more than one reason, but I wouldn't now when she was in such a state.
She took a few deep breaths, pulling away from me when the cab stopped and she glanced out the window. "This is your home, not mine." She pointed out weakly.
"You don't think I'd leave you alone right?" I raised one eyebrow at her, paying the driver in the process before opening the door and dragging my sister out. She went quiet again, her face pale and her teeth torturing her bottom lip as she stared at nothing, letting me lead her to my floor and inside my apartment. "Do you want to take a shower first?" I asked in a gentle voice, guessing that maybe she needed more time before telling me. She was going to tell me, I wasn't going to give her any other choice.
Her eyes shot up in my direction, widening a little, "You don't have Gabe today right?" She asked, for a moment loooking concerned about that, and I shook her head. "Thank god." She added under her breath and walked to my couch, slumping down and bringing her legs to her chest as if she was shielding from something.
I looked at her for a long second, anxiety eating me alive because I had never seen her like that. I joined her on the couch, pushing her hair off her face and drying her tears with my thumb, "I'm listening, if you want..." I trailed off, hoping she wouldn't close up again.
“Ben…” Chloe whispered, shaking her head and looking at the ground. “I fucked up.”
I lifted her chin with my finger and shook my head. “You know I'm not good at patience baby girl, you have to work with me here.” I whispered, doing my best to use a reassuring voice and to hide how I was feeling in that moment.
She swallowed. “I went to New York for my last year of high school.”
I nodded, remembering those months spent like an only child. It had been so weird not having my sister around. “Yes I know, I visited you.”
“I met Sam about a month after I moved there.” She paused and blinked at me. “I need some water.”
I nodded and went into the kitchen before I walked back with a glass in my hand. She drank it fast and I set my arm around her shoulder. “Chloe. What happened?” I asked again, not able to wait a second longer. I could see the pain into her eyes and I felt it too, for her.
She shook her head, running her fingers though her hair and sighing. “He told me he loved me and I believed him. I believed him because I was 17 and that’s what you do when a man tells you he loves you. You believe him.” She stopped and my hand rolled into a fist she pulled away from me, standing up and pacing. I had a bad feeling, a bad bad feeling. “He loved me and so I loved him back because he was gorgeous and older and nothing like any guy who’d ever paid interest in me before.” “How much older.” I asked through my teeth and she shot me a glare. “I'm not mad at you Chlo…” I said holding my hands up in defense.
“He was 23 when I met him.”
“He had no fucking business telling a 17 year old that he loved her.” I said shaking my head. That was exactly why I had always been overprotective of my sister, she wasn't able to take good decisions for herself. She wasn't stupid, she just didn't think enough. “He had no business-“
“He had no business beating the shit out of me!!!!” She yelled back at me. I blinked, still processing her words, but she wasn't done. “He had no business telling me that he cared about me and that he’d protect me and then smack me whenever I wasn’t perfect.” She was sobbing while I felt like I was living in a nightmare. “He had no business taking me from my friends, keeping me away from my family, taking my virginity, my heart….and then turning around and kicking me until….until I passed out.” “Chloe.” I looked at her wide-eyed and I swallowed, my mouth dry. “How….” I shook my head, trying to give a sense to what she was saying to me. I couldn't believe it, I didn't want to. “You…”
“I left him. He went too far that night and I flew back home until the bruises were gone and my ribs had healed and I hid in my apartment and drank myself to sleep every night.” She swallowed. “I'm awful. I know. Only an awful girl would live with that and not leave sooner.”
I set my elbows on my knees and ran my hands through my hair, staring at the floor as silence filled the room. Correction, Chloe's heavy breathing echoled in my ears and I swear I was going crazy. I just...I couldn't bring myself to think that my sister could have been through that hell, it made me feel really f.ucking mad but mostly it pained me. "Chloe." I started, looking back up at her and noticing how she was staring at me, holding her breath. I stretched my arm out, offering my hand because I needed to feel her there with me, safe and alive despite everything. "Don't ever say that again." I started when she sat back next to me, "You're not awful-"
"You always say that I am." She cut me off, looking at me and breaking my heart.
"I don't mean it, ever, you're a good person baby girl and I'm so sorry that this happened to you." I paused to swallow, pushing her hair off her face, "I wish I could take all your pain away, I'd bear it for you if I could."
"I...I didn't know why I believed him Ben. I hate myself for believing him and for letting him do that to me..." She trailed off before starting sobbing again.
I pulled her against me once again, my arms wrapping around her body as I let her cry because I knew that she needed that. What I needed instead was to kill that a.sshole with my bare hands. "Why didn't you tell me Chloe? I would've done anything...anything to help you. I would've taken care of you, you didn't have to be alone."
"I was ashamed of myself." She said against my shirt, her words coming out muffled.
"How could you keep this all for yourself all this time and let it kill you? See why I'm always worried about you? Because I don't want anything bad to happen to you and now it's too late and I swear to god I'm going to kill that a.sshole."
She pulled back suddenly, "Don't scream Ben, please, don't be mad at me." She kept sobbing, breaking my heart all over again.
I blinked, because I hadn't realized that the tone of my voice was raising up. "I'm not mad Chlo, not at you. I just..." I trailed off, words failing me and all I could do was pull her back against me, hugging her tight and thanking god that she was alive. “Who knew?”
Chloe swallowed and pulled back, shaking her head slowly. “No one.” She said simply. “Except whoever was at the hospital.”
I slammed my fist hard against the table, making her jump. “I'm sorry….” I said, trying again to keep my temper in check even if it was talking a lot. I rarely get mad, I only did when someone hurt a person I loved and when that happened I just lost it. But I knew that my sister wouldn't want that, she'd probably close up again if I started yelling. “You were in the hospital?”
She swallowed again. “I had a broken rib, stomach bruises and a concussion.” She said breathing slowly as she spoke.
I stood up and started pacing, needing to move before I'd go crazy. “I was RIGHT next to him!!” I said shaking my head. “Why didn’t you go to the police Chloe?!”
“And what end up on every tabloid as a victim!? I barely had the guts to go to the doctor!!!! Pressing charges in the US aren’t private, everyone would have known….”
“Fuck.” I just said, part of me wanting to point out that she had been stupid because now that asshole was free in Paris and also free to find her again.
“I lost it Ben. You remember….”
I looked up, memories coming back to my mind. I had thought that she had changed for many reasons after being in New York, but this...just no. “That’s when you started the partying….the guys, the drugs.”
She nodded. “I wanted to forget, and being high or drunk off my ass made me forget…..the guys? Well I figure I gave it up to a guy like him I might as well give it to anyone who wanted it.”
“Chloe…..” I trailed off, not even knowing where to begin saying my thoughts.
“You saved my life Ben. You didn’t even know but you saved me. When you told me I couldn’t see Gabe unless I got my life together I realized that there were more important things then forgetting about a guy who hurt me. That family was more important.” She ran her hands through her hair. “You protected me without even knowing about it.”
"I could've done so much more Chlo..." I said as I sat down next to her again, not really knowing how to deal with this. With her. My sister had always been hard to handle and even if now I knew part of the reason it didn't make it any easier, actually it made it harder since if I were overprotective before now she would have to come up with a whole new word.
She reached for my hand and squeezed it, forcing a small smile, "You made me feel loved. And made of me an aunt, you gave me something positive to focus on...it was what I needed."
I cocked my head to the side, looking at her as I let her words soak in. "But you're not over it." I said carefully, holding her hand in mine to let her know that she had me, she could talk to me now.
"I..." She trailed off, glancing away before looking back at me, "I'm fine."
I took a deep breath as I fought the urge to roll my eyes. I knew when my sister was lying and that was the case. "From what I saw earlier? You're not." I paused and noticed a pained look crossing her face, "And it's okay baby girl, you went through something really bad and now-"
"He's here again." She cut me off, looking absolutely terrified. "I don't know if I'm strong enough."
"You are, more than you know Chlo. Look at what you faced all alone." I said seriously as I cupped her cheek, staring into her eyes. "Plus, now you're with me and you have nothing to be scared about."
She threw herself in my arms, hiding against my chest once again, "I'm so glad I told you, I feel a little relieved." She admitted, her voice coming out muffled against my shirt.
"You're staying here today and tonight too." I said in a definitive tone, the one I used when I was giving her no other choice. "We have to figure out what to do with that asshole."
“You don’t have to do anything.” Chloe shook her head and I glared.
“Are you kidding me right now?” I asked, looking at her like she was some sort of crazy person which she was in a way.
“Its different now….He has to know I left for a reason, plus my family is close here, hell I'm a semi-celebrity…..he’s not going to hurt me now.” She said it with authority but it was just fake. And a semi-celebrity? Even if that was true it wouldn't change a damn thing.
“You said he broke your rib Chloe.” I said, trying to keep calm.
“That was years ago.”
“God if I’d known a few hours ago.” I shook my head and she stood up to look me closer in the eye.
“Ben you can’t do anything stupid, you have a Gabe what if you were to get into trouble?”
“I have a pretty good lawyer Chlo, not that I’d get into any trouble anyways.” I explained because yes I wished I could punch that idiot until he couldn't even breath but I knew better than doing such a thing. Still, I had to do something. And talk to Ames. “I'm so sorry….I’m so sorry this happened to you.” I pulled her into me again, letting her rest her head on my chest. “You didn’t even tell Cami?”
She shook her head. “She would have told you.” She paused. “But it’s past Ben and you know now…I feel like a million weights are lifted off my chest.” And then her face changed again. “Oh god Ben please don’t tell mom and dad.”
I shook my head. “Dad could do something about it….”
“Please! It would kill them, it would kill them to know they weren’t there to protect me, they’ll make me go see some crazy psychoanalyst. I don’t want them to know please….”
“I don’t think it’s a good thing to keep it in anymore….but I’ll let you tell them whenever you’re ready.” And maybe she needed a therapist, I added in my mind.
She nodded. “I'm sorry I never told you.”
I sighed. “It must have been a big burden to hold….”
“But I'm a big girl, I’ll get over it.”
I winced. “You don’t get over something like that….how could you? God you were tiny at 17….how could anyone hurt something so small?”
She rose a brow at me. “Are you saying I'm fat now?!”
I looked at her and then started laughing, even if I wasn't supposed to, but she laughed too. I guessed that we needed to release that tension in some way. “There’s my sister.” I said, kissing her forehead, “Come on let’s get you some food fatty.” I winked and she stuck my tongue out at me.
(:,) and :,( O.O also <3)
ReplyDeletethanks
-chloe
no need to thank me
ReplyDelete-ben
thanks for not telling me how stupid i was.
ReplyDelete-chloe
you weren't stupid, just really young and naive
ReplyDelete-ben
i was stupid.
ReplyDelete-chloe
a little
ReplyDelete-ben
i know :,(
ReplyDelete-chloe
I knew that you shouldn't have gone :|
ReplyDelete-ben
*shrugs*
ReplyDelete-chloe
why did he even hit you?
ReplyDelete-ben
i don't know ben ask him!
ReplyDelete-chloe
-.-
ReplyDelete-ben
and glare at me. good idea.
ReplyDelete-chloe
you have to know that
ReplyDelete-ben
know what?!
ReplyDelete-chloe
nothing
ReplyDelete-ben
you're not...stop that. you need a therapist
ReplyDelete-ben
well...maybe i do.
ReplyDelete-chloe
maybe it'd help...
ReplyDelete-ben
i don't need someone to tell me i'm fucked up. i know it already.
ReplyDelete-chloe
I think youre a little immature chloe and you need help
ReplyDelete-ben
immature?! how?!
ReplyDelete-chloe
you keep saying you're fucked up but don't want to do anything about it
ReplyDelete-ben
you can't fix it ben.
ReplyDelete-chloe
of course you can -.-
ReplyDelete-ben
okay glare again.
ReplyDelete-chloe
I'm sorry
ReplyDelete-ben
its okay.
ReplyDelete-chloe
I wasn't glaring at you
ReplyDelete-ben
-.- <-----glare
ReplyDelete-chloe
I wsnt glaring at you
ReplyDelete-ben
you said that already
ReplyDelete-chloe
I'm just really frustrated
ReplyDelete-ben
ps: you should take a self defense class
i know.
ReplyDelete-chloe
p.s. i already did.
I'm sorry
ReplyDelete-ben
ps: and?
its not your fault.
ReplyDelete-chloe
p.s. and i could probably kick your ass benji but it's not just about knowing how it's about me not having a panic attack :|
I know and that's why you should see a therapist
ReplyDelete-ben
you didn't tell mom and dad right?
ReplyDelete-chloe
of course not and I won't
ReplyDelete-ben
thank you.
ReplyDelete-chloe
but...
ReplyDelete-ben
?
ReplyDelete-chloe
but if you want me to keep my mouth shut promise me you'll try to see a therapist
ReplyDelete-ben
fine.
ReplyDelete-chloe
good :)
ReplyDelete-ben
meh.i don't believe in therapy
ReplyDelete-chloe
okay, I'll tell mom and dad.
ReplyDelete-ben
i said i would i didn't say i'd believe in it.
ReplyDelete-chloe
okay, I just want you to go
ReplyDelete-ben
okay.
ReplyDelete-chloe
good...do you have plans for tomorrow?
ReplyDelete-ben
i'm shooting for vogue. tristan finally hired me.
ReplyDelete-chloe
now will you leave him alone?
ReplyDelete-ben
*shrugs* he's not very nice.
ReplyDelete-chloe
so yes you will
ReplyDelete-ben
i can't leave him alone he's still my agent.
ReplyDelete-chloe
at least stop obsessing
ReplyDelete-ben
i never obsess.
ReplyDelete-chloe
lies
ReplyDelete-ben
i don't!
ReplyDelete-chloe
lies part two
ReplyDelete-ben
seriously. when have you ever seen me obsess about a guy?
ReplyDelete-chloe
yes
ReplyDelete-ben
when?
ReplyDelete-chloe
that one in high school?
ReplyDelete-ben
that's different. you're allowed to obsess over your first kiss -.-
ReplyDelete-chloe
not that one. the other loser.
ReplyDelete-ben
you think every guy i look at is a loser.
ReplyDelete-chloe
because your taste is awful
ReplyDelete-ben
tristan is awful?
ReplyDelete-chloe
he is
ReplyDelete-ben
he told me you're his best friend.
ReplyDelete-chloe
he is, more than that. a boyfriend.
ReplyDelete-ben
cami says she thinks about that in the bathtub.
ReplyDelete-chloe
I don't want to know that
ReplyDelete-ben
sure
ReplyDelete-chloe
ugh chloe -.-
ReplyDelete-ben
o.o what?
ReplyDelete-chloe
nothing :|
ReplyDelete-ben
okay *shrugs*
ReplyDelete-chloe
now I'm thinking about cami in a bathtub thanks to you :|
ReplyDelete-ben
im surprised you're not usually thinking about cami in a bathtub. i'm sure most men are.
ReplyDelete-chloe
-.-
ReplyDelete-ben
hell i would have already scooped her up if i was a guy.
ReplyDelete-chloe
yeah. shrug away.
ReplyDelete-chloe
I'm sure it will happen sooner or later
ReplyDelete-ben
sooner probably.
ReplyDelete-chloe
are you a future teller now?
ReplyDelete-ben
she likes someone *shrugs*
ReplyDelete-chloe
who?
ReplyDelete-ben
two someones actually :3
ReplyDelete-chloe
and you approve I guess from the smirk
ReplyDelete-ben
hey that girl is getting more action than i am and it's about damn time.
ReplyDelete-chloe
so you joined the other side eventually, you're not rooting for me anymore
ReplyDelete-ben
rooting for you! ha! you can't root for a player who'd not even on the team. hell you're not even playing the game at all!
ReplyDelete-chloe
good point
ReplyDelete-ben
yeah, you start fighting for her? and i'll back you up but until then i've gotta let the girl have some fun!
ReplyDelete-chloe
and you know all about fun
ReplyDelete-ben
hey i didn't help her with this at all. it was all her.
ReplyDelete-chloe
uh okay
ReplyDelete-ben
uh okay?
ReplyDelete-chloe
I really don't know how to answer to that
ReplyDelete.ben
i'm sure. you have to be honest with yourself before you can be honest with me.
ReplyDelete-chloe
okay
ReplyDelete-ben
i know. it's not very often i'm so wise.
ReplyDelete-chloe
sometimes you are
ReplyDelete-ben
sometimes ;)
ReplyDelete-chloe
yeah
ReplyDelete-ben
whats up?
ReplyDelete-chloe
work
ReplyDelete-ben
who are you working with?
ReplyDelete-chloe
alone
ReplyDelete-ben
oh? you're just taking selfies in the mirror and posting them? :3
ReplyDelete-chloe
I'm waiting for a casting smartass
ReplyDelete-ben
:3 for what?
ReplyDelete-chloe
guess
ReplyDelete-ben
guess? i don't know o.o
ReplyDelete-chloe
it's mens fashion week in three weeks
ReplyDelete-ben
still so vague.
ReplyDelete-chloe
what are you doing instead?
ReplyDelete-ben
studying up on every lanvin ad in the past few years.
ReplyDelete-chloe
why?
ReplyDelete-ben
tristan hired me for the cover of vogue and a lanvin spread and i don't want to fuck it up.
ReplyDelete-chloe
good
ReplyDelete-ben
well technically his girlfriend wanted me and he gave in....but good enough.
ReplyDelete-chloe
it's still good for your career :)
ReplyDelete-ben
yes i'm very grateful.
ReplyDelete-chloe
you're a good model
ReplyDelete-ben
i work hard.
ReplyDelete-chloe
you do
ReplyDelete-ben
i know.
ReplyDelete-chloe
uh youre welcome
ReplyDelete-ben
thank you :3
ReplyDelete-chloe
*rolls her eyes* you're so moody :3
ReplyDelete-chloe
and?
ReplyDelete-ben
and i love you anyways :)
ReplyDelete-chloe
good one :3 I love you too :)
ReplyDelete-ben
you know you look like dad when you say that to me :3
ReplyDelete-chloe
...when I say that I love you?!
ReplyDelete-ben
yup. you have the same smile :3
ReplyDelete-chloe
thanks? :3
ReplyDelete-ben
its a compliment.
ReplyDelete-chloe
then thanks :)
ReplyDelete-ben
see? :3 dad again.
ReplyDelete-chloe
stop that :3
ReplyDelete-ben
*laughs* it's no wonder you're such a heartbreaker.
ReplyDelete-chloe
meaning?
ReplyDelete-ben
well dad was too wasn't he?
ReplyDelete-chloe
for what I know he was
ReplyDelete-ben
just wait until gabe's a teenager :3
ReplyDelete-chloe
as long as won't knock up any girl he can do whatever he wants
ReplyDelete-ben
i'm pretty sure i heard dad say that to you :3
ReplyDelete-chloe
let's hope gabe's smarter than me
ReplyDelete-ben
you know technically i didn't get knocked up in high school so that makes me smarter than you :3
ReplyDelete-chloe
thank god
ReplyDelete-ben
hey maybe if i had mom and dad would be proud of me now too.
ReplyDelete-chloe
I doubt it
ReplyDelete-ben
well it's nice to dream anyways.
ReplyDelete-chloe
having a kid when you're 17 is not easy, ask cami
ReplyDelete-ben
but it was worth it.
ReplyDelete-chloe
yeah but I would've rather waited. maybe I'd still be with cami.
ReplyDelete-ben
why aren't you now?
ReplyDelete-chloe
we lost our chance
ReplyDelete-ben
why though? you love her.
ReplyDelete-chloe
I don't know, bad timing?
ReplyDelete-ben
if i had that kind of love? i wouldn't let anything get in the way of it. *shrugs*
ReplyDelete-chloe
it's complicated
ReplyDelete-ben
uncomplicate it.
ReplyDelete-chloe
can't
ReplyDelete-ben
or wont. *shrugs*
ReplyDelete-chloe
stop talking like that chloe -.-
ReplyDelete-ben
*mutters under her breath* O:)
ReplyDelete-chloe
youre lucky I love you so much :3
ReplyDelete-ben
im super lucky.
ReplyDelete-chloe
you are
ReplyDelete-ben
cocky :3
ReplyDelete-chloe
just...it's true
ReplyDelete-ben
you're pretty damn lucky yourself.
ReplyDelete-chloe
I have my kid
ReplyDelete-ben
yeah and me!
ReplyDelete-chloe
and you even if you hate me
ReplyDelete-ben
i don't hate you o.o you're like one of my all time favorite people on earth.
ReplyDelete-chloe
doesn't feel like that
ReplyDelete-ben
well i'm sorry o.o i love you so much.
ReplyDelete-chloe
I love you too
ReplyDelete-ben
maybe i'll start telling you more
ReplyDelete-chloe
its up to you cutie
ReplyDelete-ben
especially when you're around pretty girls :3 i'll just get really clingy.
ReplyDelete-chloe
I don't mind it chlo, I don't care about pretty girls
ReplyDelete-ben
celeste is pretty.
ReplyDelete-chloe
that she is
ReplyDelete-ben
why wont you let me meet her?
ReplyDelete-chloe
because its too soon
ReplyDelete-ben
longer than most of my relationships
ReplyDelete-chloe
still
ReplyDelete-ben
mom wants to meet her too.
ReplyDelete-chloe
why does she even know?
ReplyDelete-ben
she reads the tabloids?
ReplyDelete-chloe
I hate that -.- and she's not going to meet her anytime soon
ReplyDelete-ben
well you don't tell her anything. and why not? is she awful?
ReplyDelete-chloe