bmm; i can try to suck it up i just cant fuck it up

bmm; i can try to suck it up i just cant fu.ck it up by ssaarah

I walked towards Tristan’s office with a purpose before hearing a light laugh from a woman's voice.

"No one was asking you to sleep with her," the girl smirked and it looked like she was practically straddling him. Not that I blamed her…..but her next words? It sounded something like "Set me up a meeting with Chloe." And now I was curious I felt flush thinking about what they could have been talking about when Tristan noticed me standing in his doorway.

"I can come back..." I trailed off, my eyes on the girl who I instantly recognized as she stood up.

"Actually, come in," he told me in his usual monotonous voice. "Chloe, this is -"

"Evie Davies," I smiled and shook her hand. "I wore one of your designs to -"

"The Met Gala," She nodded. "It was an honor."

“Actually the honor was mine.” I replied, still grinning. “I got on the best dressed list with that one.” Evie blushed slightly and then folded her arms over her chest. I had to admit, she was stunning. If that was Tristan’s type I could see why he had no interest in me. But just the thought of that made my chest feel tight. God I hated myself. He hated me why didn’t that turn me off?!

“Well I must say I'm not that surprised.” She winked and then bit down on her lip. “Tristan and I were just talking about you actually.” I widened my eyes.

“Really?” I asked, peeking at Tristan who was way too busy staring at Evie’s as.s to pay any attention to me. “I'm shocked because I'm probably his least favorite subject.” Evie laughed, a soft laugh that made me instantly like her even though I felt like I wanted to dislike her for having what I wanted.

“He’s a little picky isn’t he?” she glanced back at him with a wicked grin on her face and I swallowed. I felt like I had seriously interrupted them.

“You could say that.” I trailed off, my eyes taking in how his broad shoulders filled out the blazer and his few days scruff looked tempting enough to kiss. Damn it Chloe, get a fucking grip. Evie looked back at me and gave me a look that told me she knew just what I was thinking, but when I thought that the dynamic might change if she thought I was looking at her man? It didn’t. She just smirked gave me a knowing look.

“He can be silly, but I'm extremely interested in casting you for my show.” I widened my eyes.

“I’ve already told her you can’t.” Tristan said, finally talking and giving me a glare. I shot an innocent look straight back at him.

“Can’t? Do I have other plans?” I asked, daring him to deny me this when his girlfriend was already so interested.

“I'm not booking you.” He said simply, shrugging as if I should be used to this by now. And honestly? I was. I had come to his office to officially pull my portfolio from his records. I was sick of trying so hard for something that he was holding above my head, never lowering it down but now? Two could play at his game. I turned to Evie.

“He’s pretty adamant. Perhaps you should take your business to a different agent? Any other agent in the city actually. I’d be more than honored to walk in your show Evie.” Tristan groaned in frustration and brought his fingers to his temples as if I was some sort of unruly child. The fact that he thought of me as such a joke was warring on me. Hard.

"I'll get your contact information and have my people call yours," Evie said all professionally, turning her thin body back towards Tristan’s and pressing a chaste kiss against her lips, confirming my earlier suspicions. "And you need to loosen up a little mister. Call me later." I watched as Tristan grabbed her wrist and pulled her back into his body, kissing her again softly, his lips lingering. Damn.

"Don't forget your stuff," he motioned by the door where her suitcase was, packed with clothes…made me wonder how long their sleepovers usually lasted. "Do you need help out to your car?"

"I've got it," She grinned, already half way out the door with the suitcase in tow. "Have a great day Miss Lindsell. It was nice meeting you."

"She's lovely," I said as the door closed behind her, leaving us alone. "Not sure what the hell she's doing with a guy like you... but to each their own," I sighed and grinned, eying him coyly.

"A guy like me?" Tristan raised a brow at me and I shrugged.

"Mean," A grin cracked on his too handsome face face and he shook his head before a brief chuckle escaped his throat.

"Mean, huh?" Tristan laughed a little more.

"Yes," I said simply. "Do you seriously not think you come off like an asshole when you say things like that?"

"Things like..."

"When you open your mouth in general!" I exclaimed and crossed my arms over my chest. "Is that what you're going for? Being an asshole?" he laughed again so fucking annoying.  

"It's who I am. If you don't like it, you know where the door is." I rolled my eyes,

"So you're just resigned to being a jerk? What a sad way to live."

"My life is far from sad Chloe. Did you come here for some reason or were you looking for another argument?" he asked and then his eyes were on my chest again. Usually that would flatter me, but I knew he was probably just thinking about how they were too big for high fashion

“Were your parents mean to you?” I asked, tilting my head to the side slowly. He narrowed his eyes on me.

“No.” A man of few words. Usually I liked that. With Tristan? It grated on my nerves like nails on a chalkboard.

“So you learned this depressing way of life all by yourself?” Tristan looked back at me for a second, damn I wish I had mind reading powers.

“Did you learn to be a wild child bitch all by yourself?” I shook my head.

“Nope, father was the wild child, mom was the bit.ch.” I replied quickly, grinning as I leaned back against the wall. He narrowed his eyes at me. “Well not anymore of course. But we can’t all use true love to change us for the better.” I'm not sure if he expected me to retort so positively to his insult, or maybe he was just shocked. Either way it took him another second to respond.

“So you’re actually telling me you blame your parents for the way you are?” I swallowed. No. I didn’t.

“Not at all. Just saying a little bit of it runs in my blood. It’s my choice to be who I am. Just like it’s your choice to be….mean apparently. Why you would choose that is beyond me.”

“Why would you choose to be a bitch?” he asked back, quicker on his feet this time.

“Because I'm in a dog eat dog business and sometimes I have to be. It’s not like I always am. Your girlfriend and I seemed to get along better than you do with her.” I smirked.

“She’s not my girlfriend.” I rose a brow.

“You give her sweet kisses goodbye, she had an overnight suitcase here, and you were about to mount her on your desk in the middle of the day before I so rudely cock blocked you? Sounds like a girlfriend to me.”

“We’re not exclusive.” I pursed my lips as I looked over at his desk….an object that had been the foundation of nearly every one of my naughtier dreams that would flash back to me whenever I glanced at it. Ugh. I couldn’t help my attraction to Tristan and it drove me nuts. Maybe Ben was right maybe I was still a little girl wanting what she couldn’t have. I just knew I wanted him. Badly.

“So what you’re saying is you have that same relationship with more than one woman?” I asked. He gave me another curious look as if he was considering why he was still talking to me instead of kicking me out. I wondered the same thing. It was what kept me from just walking out.

“More or less…” he trailed off vaguely as usual.

“So then you have many girlfriends.” I laughed. “And you think you don’t even have time for one.” Tristan shook his head quickly, almost looking guilty of something.

"You make it sound like I invite a group of women out to dinner every night then bring them back to my house for a nightcap."

"Do you?" I asked with a brow shot upwards, Evie struck me as sexy and independent and I could easily see why Tristan was interested, but not so much as an orgy type of girl.  

"Why does my life interest you?" he asked bluntly. I swallowed and then ran my tongue across my lips slowly, not wanting to push the issue. Instead I rolled my eyes and reached into my bag pulling a piece of paper out of a folder.

"I'm pulling my portfolio from your database," I said, cringing as he fucking laughed again. Laughed!!!  

“Really?" he scanned the paper, "Why?"….was he seriously asking me that?

"Why?!" Iasked incredulously, feeling a little out of patience. "Hm... maybe because you won't book me for anything and I'm a little tired of you treating me like I'm some hot mess who doesn't give a fu.ck about her career."

"Why does my opinion on you matter so much?" he asked me. I wasn’t sure how to answer that. He wasn’t the only one to ask either. Maybe because I had a crush on him, maybe because iw wasn’t used to rejection…either way it did bug me. But I was done playing his games.

"You're the best agent we have," I said finally in a flat tone, my arms folding over my chest again and watching his eyes judge my body once more.

"Fine. You have the cover." ……wait what? I raised an eyebrow at him and licked my lips,

"The cover? Your girlfriend offered -"

"Walking in her show," Tristan cut me off. "I know. I was here."

"Then..."

"Today I was casting for Lanvin. I had two slots to fill and you're one of the models going on the cover of Vogue," he said  it nonchalantly, but I was still trying to grasp his words since this wasn’t just some silly magazine ad…this was Lanvin. And Vogue.

I took a few steps closer so I was almost head to head with him. Even in my heels he was taller though.

“Why?” I asked slowly, raising my brow. “You wouldn’t even hire me for a catalog, why risk putting me in Vogue if you don’t think I'm good?”

“I never said I didn’t think you were good. I said you were an embarrassment.” I widened my eyes, because although he insinuated that, he hadn’t actually put it in such blunt terms. “But your persistence, while frustrating, is impressive, and Evie seems to think you’re perfect for the shoot.” I swallowed.

“So this is to make your girlfriend happy?” I questioned, not like I was going to argue, it was a huge thing and I wouldn’t turn it down for anything, no matter how I got it.

“She’s not my girlfriend.” He said again and I started to speak but he cut me off. ‘Just fyi? You fuck this up? And you wont need to end our contract. I’ll fire you.” I swallowed, since no one had ever threatened to cut me from anything. Then again it didn’t really surprise me.

“I won’t fuck up.” I said seriously. Lanvin was one of my favorites, and being on Vogue? I’d never had a cover before.

“We’ll see.” I folded my arms over my chest.

“You still didn’t tell me why you’re risking it.” I pointed out. “You obviously think I'm a party girl incapable of being professional.” He grabbed a tabloid from his desk and tossed it to me. It was open to a page that mentioned seeing me out on a date with the banker friend Ben had set me up with.

“Honestly? I didn’t expect you to be so serious about changing. You haven’t been seen doing anything remotely paper worthy since we last spoke. That says something.” I laughed.

“That guy was boring as hell.” I admitted. “But if it got me Vogue I'm not complaining. At least he was nice to look at. Not as nice as you though.” I added without even thinking.

“Just to get things straight? Just because I'm hiring you doesn’t mean I'm hitting on you. The opposite actually.” I shrugged.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t hit on you. You see it’s not paper worthy because you hate me and would never actually bend me over your desk…” I winked and grabbed my contract back. “I wonder what your other girls are like….” I said out loud while he just kind of stood there shaking his head at me....but hey. It was progress.