Hold on to your heart.

Hold on to your heart. by pinklipstiiick featuring high heel shoes

My sister stared at me from across the table, anxiousness crowding my thoughts as I tightened my grip on the glass enough that my knuckles were turning white. "Are you okay Sis?"

I nodded and looked at Mila who was grinning at my social disorder, "Yes, but I cannot believe you talked me into this. I don't date!"

"Because you don't try. I'm just trying to help you! You deserve a great guy."

I shook my head, knowing that she was only trying to help... but still. "If he's friends with Braden, how good of a guy could he be?" I said and she narrowed her  eyes as I sighed, "Okay, that was harsh. I shouldn't have said that."

"You're forgiven because I'm going to take the high road." She shook her head, "He's a nice guy! I've met him, plus he's insanely gorgeous."

I resisted the urge to groan as she winked, "That's not all I want in a man…"

She sighed, "Well, you're about to see that he's not all good looks with Dante."

My sister sat up a little straighter in her seat, my eyes following her line of sight as Braden walked into the room with his friend close behind him. I felt like I was straining my neck to catch a glimpse of the guy, my heart sinking a little when I saw him and his own smile faltered slightly. "Oh dear god," I whispered to myself.

"You need to stop saying that," Mil snapped at me, sounding like our mother.

"I know him," I whispered back, following her lead as she stood up and walked over to them.

"Camille?" Dante looked at me, his eyes scanning my body which was a lot more in shape now than when he met me three years ago. "Wow, you look amazing."

Mil blinked as he embraced me in a hug, no awkwardness between us showing on his end and that helped me relax as I hugged him back. "You do too!" I smiled at my ex. Yes, my sister set me up with my ex. The first guy I had slept with after Ben and I first broke up. "It's great seeing you," I added as we stepped back from each other and he held out my chair, motioning for me to sit down.

"You two know each other?" My sisters eyes bounced back and forth between us as her and Braden sat down across from us. Dante took the seat beside me and set his palm on my knee, as if we'd gone back in time three years ago without missing a beat.

"Your sister broke my heart," He said in a serious tone, my eyes widening as he laughed and shook his head. "I'm joking, but yes, we do know each other."

"How?!" She exclaimed, probably wondering how she didn't know or why I never told her. I mentioned him, I knew I had to have. I was a private person, but I wouldn't have kept that from my sister.

"We had a tiny thing a few years ago, no big deal," I said with a shrug as I looked at Dante and smiled, genuinely glad that it was him and not some weirdo.

"And you say I'm not a good match maker," She told us as she leaned into Braden's arms.

I nodded, "Yes, okay, this time you did good. I'll give you that."

She sighed, "Well I guess we don't have to do all that awkward getting to know each other stuff."

I smirked, assuming that she meant the part about me having Gabe and Dante having not only an ex wife, but a 10 year old son also."You mean how you were trying to set me up on a date with a guy who was once married and has a kid?" I crossed my arms over my chest, playing along with my sister and making light of the facts.

"Okay pot, you're black!" She glared, "But I just thought it was a good fit. I mean you both have kids and you have to deal with that. You guys come from one common place."

"Enough talking babe." Braden grinned at her, "Let's just get some drinks. Now that we don't have to go through that getting to know each other shit, we just just relax."

My sister rolled her eyes, "Shut up."

I stared at Dante out of the corner of my eye as everyone ordered their drinks, another champagne for me since anything harder than that would have me spending the rest of the night on my back. "So how have you been?" I asked him as the waiter left our table, his body still fit if not even more so. He had to be 34 years old now, over ten years older than me, but age wasn't a problem for me. I spent most of my time around a five year old or men who behaved as if they were Gabe's age that it was refreshing to be around someone so mature. Maybe the age difference scared me a little three years ago, but now it seemed like nothing. "How's Alex?"

"Good and better," He replied with a charming smile, massaging slow circles on my thigh.

"You guys can even have play dates! Perfect," Mila clasped her hands together, Braden looked in pain over being here. I didn't even want to know how my sister had talked him into coming.

I just smiled at her, knowing that would never happened. I dated Dante for a few months and he never met my friends, my family, and especially not Gabe. Did it make me a bad person? Probably. But any guy I got involved with had to know that my son would always come first.

"We should get a couple round of shots going," Braden grunted like a college boy as the waiter came back with our drinks. His eyes were on her breasts and I kept staring at him in disgust, wishing he could get the bad vibes I was sending his way. He didn't deserve my sister.

"What could I get you sweetie?" She asked him, my sister either oblivious to the way they were looking at each other or just playing dumb.

"Lemon drops," He grinned. "Eight of them."

I parted my lips before Dante squeezed my thigh, making me almost jump since a man hadn't been that close to my pussy in... well, a while. Too long. "Cam can't hold her liquor well..." He grinned at me.

"Even better for you, man," Braden winked at him then looked at my chest and grinned.

My sister lightly smacked Braden, "Brae!"

"It was just a joke babe," He kissed her on the lips and all was forgotten, I swear she melted, eating up the attention while mistaking it for more than it really was. Now my sister wasn't stupid, but this guy? I had no idea what she was thinking.

She sighed, "Can you just be a little more sensitive? For me?"

He shrugged, "Fine, for you." He threw his arm around her shoulder as the waiter came by.

"Who's cherry vodka sour is this?" He asked and Mil held a hand up and gave him a smile as he handed her the drink she ordered before the guys arrived.

"Thank you," She told him, taking a sip.

"Is there anything else I can get you?" He asked the table.

"No," Braden said quickly with a twinge of anger in his voice, "You can leave now, before I call over the manager to complain about you."

The waiter, myself and everyone else were taken aback. "I'm sorry sir," The waiter gave a polite nod and walked away.

"Braden, what was that all about?" Mil asked him as I glanced sideways at Dante and shrugged over the whole scene. I hated drama... especially the pointless kind like this.

"I didn't like the way he was staring at my girlfriend. Not to mention I don't appreciate the way you were egging him on," Braden said angrily and I rolled my eyes.

"Egging him on? Brae, I was just being polite," She said, defending herself thank god.

"Your politeness can be misconstrued as something else," He glared in response, single handedly ruining the night which was taking a turn for the better before Braden decided to speak.

"I'm sorry... Can you excuse me? I need to go to the restroom," Mil said, quickly standing up and heading to the restroom before anyone could say anything.

I glanced up at Braden who looked bored and unphased. "Women," He shook his head while I glared at him and pushed my own chair back to follow my sister. I pushed the door open and walked in, finding her in front of the mirror with blurred eyes. I wanted to go back out there and kill Braden.

"Mil…" I trailed off.

She sniffled and shook her head, "I'm fine."

I shook my head firmly, "No you're not." I turned my body to face hers and grabbed a paper towel, dampening it a bit and wiping gently under her eyes since her makeup was now messed up, "He was an ass."

"No he was right. Sometimes I'm too nice."

"If there's something wrong with being nice, then I'm obviously teaching my son all the wrong things," I said sternly.

"Cam, I..." She trailed off, staring at me and the stubborn look I had on my face.

"You can't let a man treat you like that," I said seriously, setting my purse on the counter and fishing through it for my eyeliner. "Look up," I waited silently until she did so, fixing both the bottom then the top.

"He's not usually like that..."

I rolled my eyes again, knowing it was a blatant lie. The first time she brought him to dinner at my parents? He made a scene there too. "Don't lie to a woman who has a weapon in her hand," I told her and she laughed, quietly and kind of sadly but a laugh none the less.

"Are you going to line me to death?"

I pulled back and capped the eyeliner, pursing my lips together as I looked at her. She'd always be my big sister, but sometimes I felt the need to play the role and do the protecting.. maybe it was because I was a mom now and knew that family would always come first. "You deserve better," I averted my eyes towards my bag and tossed the pen back in.

"I could say the same to you also."

I looked back at her and raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

"You're a great mom Cam, don't get me wrong. Gabe is amazing and adores you, but when is the last time you did something for yourself?" She asked and I parted my lips, wishing I could tell her that I couldn't do things for myself anymore... technically I could, but everything I did? I put my son into consideration first. "When's the last time you had a one night stand or made out with a stranger?"

I lifted an eyebrow in response, my silence answering that question since I couldn't. "Made out with a stranger? Really?" I said finally and she sighed.

"What about all those male models that hit on you?" She asked and crossed her arms. "Why don't you bring one home when Ben has Gabe and just -"

"Okay," I held up a hand. "I'm going to stop you there because one? Male models don't hit on me and two? Just no."

"Okay, forget about making out with a stranger or having a one night stand... Just dating in general, why not?"

I smirked, "I'm on a date right now."

My sister rolled her eyes and a grin spread across her pretty face, "Don't be a smartass." She sighed, "I want my sister to be happy."

"And I want my sister to be happy too, Mil... That guy out there? Is not making you happy and I want to kill him for that. I'm definitely not the only one who feels that way," I pushed the hair out of her face.

"Who-"

"Mom, Dad, me, Noah, Chloe, Ben, Ava, Corey, Ames and basically every single person that comes into contact with the two of you…" I interrupted before she could even finish, "He's mean Mila… And you're the last person who deserves it."

"But there are moments when he's insanely sweet-"

"Is that after he messes up big time?" I raised an eyebrow and she shook her head.

"…Not all the time."

"That should be all the time," I crossed my arms over my chest. "I hope you realize that before he does something worse…"

"Cam…" She trailed off.

"You don't have to explain to me, but I'm your sister and anytime you need a shoulder to cry on or just to talk, I'm here," I gave her a small smile.

She nodded, "Thank you." She sniffed one last time before wiping her nose, "You ready to go back?"

"Yes. Don't cry anymore." I grinned as I looked her once more over, "Your makeup can't take any more hits."

She laughed at my joke then grinned, "Shut up."

"You should speak like that to Brayden, not me," I said as I hitched my purse back on my shoulder, shooting her a stern look that made her roll her eyes but grin.

"You look like mom when you give me that look," She replied and shook her head. "Come on."

I grinned and walked beside her as we left the bathroom, "You're not going to ditch me when the dates over, are you?"

"Afraid to be alone with Dante?" She asked with an eyebrow raised. "By the way? The next time we're alone, you're telling me everything about him and how you know each other."

"There's not much to say," I shrugged. "We dated for three months."

She stopped walking and her eyes grew wide, "Three months? And I'm just hearing about this now?!"

"It was after Ben... he was the first guy I dated after we broke up."

"Obviously," She said and started walking again. "So what happened? Awful in bed?"

I parted my lips then reclosed them. The truth? He wasn't awful... he wasn't even bad. But after Ben? It was hard to compare other men to him, it was hard finding someone new who made me feel how my ex did. "No," I answered simply.

"You haven't answered my first question," She eyed me as the men came back into view.

I ran my tongue across my lips, wetting them since my mouth suddenly felt dry. I hadn't told a soul, not even Chloe who somehow managed to pry every secret out of me. "I cheated on him... with Ben," I said in a barely audible tone. 

"What?!" She said loudly as she grabbed my arm and pulled me back before the guys saw us, "Cheated? Cam!"

I sighed, "I know! It's awful Mil."

"Did you tell him?" She asked, looking at me.

I shook my head, "No, after avoiding him for a week I couldn't bear to tell him. I felt so guilty so I just told him it was over and cut off all contact."

She furrowed her eyebrows, "How though? Dante is amazing!"

"I know which is why I felt awful," I said seriously. "I was exhausted with Gabe and Ben was over helping me one night, one thing lead to another and we slept together," I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest. It was the last time me and Ben had sex and the last time I tried having a steady relationship. The guys after him? Nothing more than one night stands and a guy I saw for a little more than week.

She pulled me into a hug, "I'm your sister. I'm not here to judge you. I wish you told me so I could have helped you. You're not a bad person." She gave me a small smile, "You were young and you just had a kid. There are much worse things you could have done."

"Thanks, it didn't help my conscience though. He was a really a good guy and I screwed him over…" I trailed off, leaving out the part where I had no regrets over my decision. It only made me sound like a worse person.

She nodded, "It's okay Cam… Just try and start new."

I gave her a small smile back, "Thanks."

She pulled me into a hug, "You're welcome. Do you want to go back? Or should we make an excuse to leave?"

I shook my head, knowing that I couldn't spend the rest of my life comparing guys to my ex. I'd never move on. "No, he doesn't deserved to be ditched especially after what I did to him," I said honestly.

She nodded, "Okay."

I studied her face as she pulled away from me, looking down as she smoothed her dress out over her hips. She didn't usually look like our mom, but in that moment? She had the same face mom always got when one of us had messed up. "You're disappointed in me, aren't you?" I asked, already knowing her answer.

"No." She shook her head and forced a smile, "What you and Ben have or had? Not many people ever have that and even fewer hold on to it for the rest of their lives. You were each others firsts... first everything..."

I nodded my head understandingly, "Yeah."

"I love Ben, you know that Cam, but this thing you guys have going on right now? Being parents but not being together? It's working and you can't mess that up," She said seriously, playing her role as my big sister perfectly.

"I know."

"Is everything okay?" A deep voice interrupted, Dante's eyes bouncing back and forth between us with concern.

"Yeah, perfect," My sister smiled at him, glancing at me with a smirk on her gorgeous face and an eyebrow cocked. I could see the way her mind worked, I knew she approved of him. Maybe we messed up on what we had years ago and this was our second chance.... I didn't know, but I earned a chance at finding out. I deserved happiness just as much as any other person. Mil leaned into me and pretended to fix my earring, lowering her voice to a whisper, "He's a keeper." I smiled as she pulled back and looked at Dante, "Well we better get back to the table before Braden drinks everything in sight."

"Too late," Dante said and grinned as my sister walked back to our table. "Please, never leave me alone with that man again... He's a good businessman, but I see where that whole phrase never mix work with pleasure came from."

I smiled at him, "He is pretty terrible."

"Awful," He agreed and I smiled wider. "How about we get our food to go and get out of here?"

I parted my lips slowly before finding myself nodding my head, "That sounds perfect."