I will have to pull my heart away, cause if I never leave I'll ruin yesterday.

I will have to pull my heart away, cause if I never leave I'll ruin yesterday. by pinklipstiiick featuring american apparel

I glanced down at our intertwined hands, fading in and out of the conversation as Dante spoke with a little too much enthusiasm about one of his current cases.  Call me crazy, but nothing about civil suits amused me. The fact alone that I knew the difference between a criminal suit and civil suit said a lot. Dante spoke a lot about himself, it wasn't that he was a selfish person or conceited... it was just hard for me to open up to him. A whole month had gone by and it still felt like we were in that first phase of dating which was weird since I originally thought we'd pick up right where we had left off. We hadn't. It had to be me... there was probably something wrong with me.

"Is this it?" He broke into my thoughts and I lifted my head to find that we were already at Ben's.

"Yes," I said and turned to smile at him, resisting the urge to wrinkle my nose as he pressed a kiss against my forehead. I smiled instead when he pulled back and pressed another kiss against my lips. "Thanks for dropping me off. You didn't need to."

"Of course," He grinned back at me, so gorgeous in the typical tall, dark, and handsome way. He could be a model easily, but chose to be a lawyer when he was ten years old. I was 23 years old and I still didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. Sure I loved being a makeup artist, but could that be my career for the rest of my life? "Any time I get to spend with you? I'll take it," He squeezed my hand with a perfect smile on his face. "Wait here, I'll get the door for you."

I remained quiet as he let go of my hand to dart out of the car and make his way over to mine. He was a gentleman, the kind of guy my mom and sister wanted me to meet... the kind of guy neither of them would ever go for. He opened the door for me with a charming smile back on his face, taking my hand again to help me onto both feet. It was a gesture most men didn't care for nowadays. In a world where chivalry was practically dead, there was still Dante. "Thank you," I said for the umpteenth time and smiled genuinely, letting him pull me into his arms.

"You don't have to thank me for every single thing I do," He said seriously.

I grinned and shrugged, "I'm just a polite person."

He lowered his head to kiss my forehead again, pulling back and smiling, "Do you want me to walk you to the door?"

I parted my lips slowly, searching for the right way to say no. It felt weird enough having him drive me to my exes house... but walk me to his door?

"How about half way?" He asked, possibly reading my thoughts. 

"Perfect," I agreed, walking slowly beside this man who seemed the complete opposite of my ex. While Ben was fun, Dante was serious. Ben's job made him 

famous and gave him the life most men would die for... while Dante preferred books over parties. I didn't mind that though, a night at home would always be my first choice. "Thank you," I said once more, turning my body into his to give him a kiss good bye. His lips lingered on me and for a moment I froze up, wondering what would happen if the door opened and Ben saw us. Or worse, Gabe. 

He broke the kiss and tucked my hair behind my ear, "Call me later. Or when you have a chance."

I nodded and felt myself blushing, still so new to this whole dating thing even though I'd been doing it on and off, mostly off, for three years now. "I will. Bye," I smiled and waited for him to get into his car before making my way to the door and knocking. 

"Maman!" Gabe shouted out as soon as it opened, a huge smile on his face that made my heart melt. 

I smiled back at him and bent at my waist to hug him and kiss him, "Hi cutie." 

"I'm not a cutie!" He argued back. "I missed you." 

"I did too," I faked a pout before lifting myself in a straighter position and looking at my ex who was watching us with a blank look on his handsome face, "Hi Ben." 

"Cami," He said back and walked over to close the door, a smile on his lips, "Dinner will be ready in ten minutes." 

I grinned at him, dropping my purse on the couch on the way to the kitchen, "Good, I'm starving." 

"Me too, me too!" Gabe bounced around me, showing his excitement for having me back again. We went through this every week and no one seemed to get used to it anyway. 

Ben shook his head as he smiled more genuinely, the kind of smile that still made my heart race. "You two are just the same," He said casually, walking to the stove and adding salt to the boiling water before putting in raviolis too. 

"Meaning?" I raised one eyebrow at him, Gabe's eyes bouncing between us. 

"Impatient." He winked at me then glanced at our son, "Didn't you make something for maman?" He nodded with an adorable grin on his face and disappeared, leaving us alone for a moment. "How are you?" 

"I'm good," I answered and looked around his place. A week ago, it was spotless... after hurricane Gabriel hit though? There were toys everywhere. "It looks like you boys had a good time..." I trailed off and bit my lip, feeling my lips spread into a slow grin. I wished we could all three spend more time together since nowadays it seemed like such a rare and special occasion. I wanted Gabe to know that me and his father got along because that had never been the case. We weren't together anymore, but Ben would always be such a huge part of my life and not only because he was my sons father. 

He followed my eyes and let out a soft laugh that sounded like music, relaxing and safe. "You mean the mess? After Gabe gives you his present, his cleaning up," He brought his eyes back to meet mine and smiled.

"What is it?" I gave him a glance that always used to have him telling me everything.

He grinned and shook his head, "I'm not going to spoil his surprise. He's been waiting all day for you to get over here."

I felt a stab of guilt even though I was right on time. It was hard sharing a child, hard having to go back and forth between houses and keep him pleased all the time. When he was with me, he missed his dad and vice versa when he was at Ben's. It was like we'd never be able to win, but we had no other choice than to try. "He's an impatient little thing," I wrinkled my nose. "I guess he does get that from me."

"I know it."

I ran my tongue across my top lip before catching the tip of it between my front teeth, keeping my eyes locked on Ben's as Gabe made his way back into the kitchen. "I made this for you maman," He said and held out a crown made out of construction paper, there were stickers that looked like gems and a few that he hand drew.

"It's gorgeous!! Will you put it on me?" I bent back down to his level and wrapped my arms around him, pressing a wet kiss against his cheek - the kind that left him wrinkling his nose since he was still trying to decide if I had cooties or not. 

"There," He placed it on my head and tried pulling away, but I hugged him tight, wanting to keep him like this forever. "Do you like it?"

"I love it," I smiled at him, feeling like I might cry at any minute. Besides the fact that I had the most perfect boy on earth, I was also hormonal. His cuteness was going to bring me to my knees. "Am I a princess now?"

"You're a queen instead," He said with a wide smile, blinking innocently and looking at his dad. "Where's yours papa?"

I stood back up and raised an eyebrow at Ben, grinning as he set his own crown on his head. We looked silly, but the word fit us. We weren't the typical family, yet we worked and we were happy. "You look very handsome," I winked at Ben, seeing the love he had for our son in his eyes and feeling my stomach twist. He was such a great dad, Gabe was lucky and I hoped he knew it. 

"You look very gorgeous," He grinned back at me as he stared into my eyes, my grin as wide as his. 

I tore my eyes away from his eventually and glanced at our Gabey, "Don't you have a crown too?" 

"Yes, papa made me one," He said seriously and moved the chair, revealing a small crown on its seat before grabbing it and adjusting it on the top of his head. Not only it was smaller, but you could tell that Ben had made it. 

I shot my ex an amused look and when our eyes met I let out a small laugh before looking back at our son. "You look handsome," I said, noticing Ben roll his eyes. Still, his grin was in place and he looked happy, genuinely happy.

"Like papa?" Gabe asked and smiled, his eyes bouncing between the both of us. He really was a handsome little man. 

"Even better looking," His dad grinned at him, poking his nose even though we both knew how much he hated it. "You're our little prince." 

He wrinkled his nose and tried to slap Ben's finger away, but missed him. "Like the book?" He asked then shot a sheepish smile to me, "I read it with papa, I can read it to you too if you want." 

A huge smile appeared on my face, nothing but pride for my child overwhelming me. He was so smart and perfect. "I'd love that Gabey," I said in a soft quiet voice that oozed love. 

He didn't say anything, the look on his face enough to give him away. "Go wash your hands, dinner's ready," Ben smiled at him and at his proud face, watching him march out the kitchen again. 

"I can't believe you made a crown for him," I said as he disappeared, moving my eyes back to Ben who looked lost in a thought.  

He turned his head in my direction to find me smirking, my arms crossed against my chest. "He'd convince me to do anything," He answered with a smirk that didn't make his words less true. Gabe had that power over us. When I nodded at that, giving him an understanding look, he took a step closer to me and pushed my hair off my face. "I'm glad you came over," He added as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders to pull me into a hug and kissed the top of my head when my arms sneaked around his waist. 

I pulled my head back just so slightly to look up at him, a dozen emotions hitting me at once. "I am too," I said with a smile. 

He parted his lips when Gabe walked back into the room. "Why are you hugging maman?" He asked, not really used to us showing affection. 

"Because I love her," Ben explained quietly, saying those words out loud for the first time in forever even if the meaning had changed drastically.

He ran to us and hugged our legs, making a silly and happy face that got my stomach twisting, "Me too."

I slid a hand down Ben's side, past his hip until it was resting on top of Gabe's hair. I messed it up a little more, smiling when he wrinkled his nose at me and looked on the verge of complaining. "I love you too silly baby," I said before he had the chance to speak.

"And papa?"

"Him too," I smiled and flicked my eyes back up to Ben's, realizing that I was leaning my chest against his still. It made me wonder if it'd ever stop feeling so natural between us, even a simple hug. "So what's for dinner?" I asked after a moment of silence, feeling too comfortable in his arms and wondering what it meant. I guess having been in love with him for most of my life, some tendencies would never change. 

"My favorite!" Gabe answered, both of us still staring at each other when we started laughing.

"Your favorite," I said and broke the locked gaze, looking down at my baby to make a silly face at him. It felt like there was too much electricity in the air, but that was me, always over thinking everything. 

He nodded quickly and was the first to pull away from the embrace we had going on, marching over to the table and seating himself like a big boy. Clasping his hands together in front of him on the table, he waited patiently while Ben and I dropped our hands away from each other, his hands sliding dangerously low in the process. "What do you want to drink?" Ben asked us as he walked over to the fridge and opened it. 

"Soda!"

"Gabe will have juice," I said and eyed Gabe, giving him a smile. 

"Do you want wine?" He asked after grabbing a juicebox and handing it to me. 

I punched the straw through the top and set it on the table in front of Gabe, looking over my shoulder at Ben and smirking, "Will you drive us home?"

"How else were you planning on getting home?" He asked with a grin, catching me off guard for a moment and making me wonder if he saw Dante. It wasn't like I was hiding Dante from Ben, we were both single and free to date whoever we wanted... only it still felt weird to me. When I didn't reply, he added, "Is that a yes to the wine?"

"Yes please," I forced a smile and walked over to the raviolis, dishing out three plates for us and setting them on the table. 

"You're the guest, you're supposed to do nothing," He grinned as he watched me move in the kitchen, me acting like I owned the place. I felt comfortable with him, I could honestly not say that about many people.

"Ops," I finally smiled more genuinely and my eyes moved from him to Gabe who was staring at his plate with wide eyes, waiting for us all to be seated before starting. Such a good mannered boy, we'd taught him well.

Ben shook his head as he looked at me again, vaguely amused, "Red or white?" He asked, getting back nothing but a shrug that only left him grinning wider. "White it is," He announced and opened the fridge, reaching for a bottle of Chardonnay. 

"Papa, hurry!" Gabe urged, his tone impatient and his eyes on his dad. 

Ben ignored him and grabbed a bowl of grated parmesan, knowing how our son liked his ravioli. He shot him an approving look as he sat at the table, Gabe on his left and me on his right. "Bon apetit," He said with a smile, it only getting bigger when Gabe attacked his pasta like the little animal he was sometimes. 

I resisted the urge to shake my head, grinning instead as I took a bite. "When did you learn to cook?" I asked after swallowing, my tone teasing since it wasn't a mystery that he was no cook. 

"This hardly counts as cooking," He answered back with his smirk still in place, opening the bottle of wine and pouring some into my glass first then his. "But I'll take lessons with my mom." 

I broke into a grin as I reached for my wine, my eyes on his since that was just about the cutest thing ever, "You're kidding me." 

"It's her birthday present," He explained with a shrug and finally started eating. "Wouldn't you love if you and Gabe went to a cooking class together?" He asked and when I just nodded, too busy chewing to talk, he went on. "No one's going to beat my present this year." 

"Papa, maman will come to school with me?" Gabe cut in the conversation, getting everything wrong probably because he was barely listening, too famished to care about what his parents were talking about. 

I looked at him, amusement on my face while Ben chuckled, "No silly, I already went to school." 

"Oh," He frowned, then shrugged and took another forkful of pasta. 

I kept smiling at him, wanting to scoop him up in my arms and spoil him with kisses. From the corner of my eye, Ben relaxed against the back of his chair and  his foot kicked mine in the process. "Sorry," He said before I could even bring my eyes up to meet his. 

"It's fine," I said and lifted my head up to look at him, feeling a slow smirk spread across my face. "If you wanted to play footsie, all you had to do was ask."

He let out a soft laugh, eyeing me as I sipped my wine, "You're cute." 

"So I've heard," I winked, feeling a blush creep across my face as I tried cursing it away in my thoughts. My eyes drifted over to Gabe's plate, two raviolis remaining on it and his veggies untouched.  For such a little thing, he sure could eat. It looked like we never fed him when instead, he cleaned out both of our fridges each week. "Were you hungry?"

He looked back at me with a mouthful, "I'm full."

I raised an eyebrow, trying not to wince as a few crumbs fell from his mouth. Boys. 

"Sorry," He covered his mouth with his hand and looked back and forth between us as he swallowed. "Can I be excused please?"

"We just sat down," I said with wide eyes and looked at Ben who was smiling at him. 

"I told him that he could play his new game after dinner," He told me and looked almost guilty, Gabe's face on the other hand adorable and pouty. 

I grinned and shook my head, "Eat some of your veggies first."

He sighed and picked at the broccoli, the only veggie he claimed to like this week. After a few pieces had disappeared in his belly, he tried again and this time I nodded, "Ask your dad."

He looked at Ben with his big bambi eyes, the kind of look that was impossible to say no to. To me at least. "You can, but keep the volume down. And put your plate in the sink," He added as Gabe sprung from his seat, plate in hand as he walked it over to the sink. 

"Thanks papa," He said as he skipped past us towards the living room. 

"And you say I spoil him," I nudged Ben, grinning as I grabbed my glass to take another sip. 

He stared at me as he bit back at smirk, glancing at my lips briefly and making me look at his in return. The weird thing was, I remembered exactly how they felt still. When I dreamed about Ben? It woke me up every time, feeling so real. "Because you do," He retorted. 

My grin only got wider until I bit my bottom lip, "You're the one who just let him get up." 

"He told me you do that a lot too and I can't always play the bad cop," He finally let his smirk play on his soft lips, his gaze still glued on me as I widened my eyes a little, my mouth forming a small perfect o.  

"But that's not true, he's never allowed to leave me alone while we're eating," I protested and frowned a little before setting my glass back on the table and eating the last of my raviolis. 

He took his time to swallow his last bite and take a sip of wine, enjoying it since he'd have to limit himself to only one glass. He was responsible like that. "I think he acts different when we're both with him," He said eventually, voicing a thought that I myself hadn't really noticed. 

Silence filled the room as I processed his words, thinking about how true it was. When we were all three together, Gabe had no one to miss and no reason to act up. He was happier. "What do you mean?" I asked still, more than a little curious in hearing what Ben had noticed. 

He shrugged, not sure about it himself, "As if he does things he normally doesn't do, just to get our attention." He offered me a smile as I got lost in my thoughts, still thinking about what he had said, "Maybe I'm just overthinking, you know how I get with anything about him." He let out a small laugh and scratched the back of his neck, my eyes falling on the skin he exposed in the process. His abs might be the death of me one day. 

"I'm the same, if not worse," I sighed before finishing my wine, trying to push the thought of his body out of my head. 

He got up and reached for my empty plate then his, putting them both in the sink. "That makes me feel better," He winked at me, his voice playful even though I knew that he meant it. 

I smiled back at him instantly, then rolled my eyes over how silly we were, how we worried and over thought just about everything. It was nice to know that we weren't alone though, we had each other. "Go on, make fun of me," I said with a serious expression. 

"Never," He grinned at me as he walked behind where i was sitting, squeezing my shoulders on the way to the fridge, "Are you still hungry?" 

"It depends on what you're offering," I answered, my head turned in his direction to keep my eyes on him. 

"It depends on what you're hungry for," He said back and smirked, cocking his head to the side as he stared back at me.

I ran my tongue across my lips and tore my eyes away from his, glancing down at my empty glass and trying to focus on that instead of his body. And how good he looked tonight. "Maybe more wine for starters?" I asked and smirked, lifting my eyes back up to meet his. 

"Are you still a lightweight?" He grinned but grabbed the bottle, walking across the room to lift my glass up and pour.

"Even worse now that I never drink," I admitted and leaned back in my chair, bringing my leg up to rest my knee against the table. 

He grinned and set the glass back down in front of me, going back to the fridge while my eyes went to his back. Even though he had a shirt on, it still looked so defined. "Does that mean you're drunk already? I might need to cut you off," He tossed his head over his shoulder while i mentally cussed at myself to stop thinking like a lonely housewife who hadn't been laid in a year. Well, that much was half true. 

"Will you make me sleep on the couch if I am?" I grinned slowly, trying to push the thought of sharing his bed with him again out of my head. Nothing happened of course, but still.

"I'd never do such a thing," He smiled, watching me sip my wine a little too quickly since I was more focused on the butterflies in my chest that his smile was giving me. 

I set the glass down, cutting myself off from even another sip. When I looked at it though, it was already empty again. I resisted the urge to sigh and set y elbow on the table instead, "What's for dessert?"

"Papa, can I have a popsicle?" Gabe's voice brought me back to reality, putting a grin on both of our faces.

"What was that? I don't think papa heard you," I said back not even half as loud as Gabe, being silly since that boy was loud. 

"Can I have a popsicle please?" He said back, his game going quiet for a moment and then his head peeking into the room. "Pretty please?"

"You can," Ben answered, eyeing me for a second then looking back at Gabe, "But you have to be careful with it. No messes."

"I'll eat it over the coffee table," He  promised and Ben handed one over. 

"I'll take one too please," I said and stood up, walking over to the counter and leaning against it. He handed me one and I opened the wrapper while Gabe left us alone again, giving the wrapper back to Ben as I grinned and wrapped my lips around the popsicle. His eyes widened as his grin did the same, a blush creeping on my face as I pulled it out of my mouth and tried not to laugh, "Stop, you're making me self conscious!"

"You stop, I'm doing nothing!" He protested, not able to take his eyes away from my lips. 

"I'm not doing anything!" I said and bit back a grin before sucking on my popsicle again, fully aware that he couldn't stop watching me.

He swallowed as his eyes moved to mine, "Is it good?"

I nodded my head as I slid it out once again, my thoughts blending with memories and the way I used to get on my knees for him. "Want to try?" I offered and lifted the popsicle to his mouth. He wrapped his fingers around my wrist to keep it in place as he bit it, our gaze locked once again and my heart flip. "Ouch," I smirked. 

He pulled his head back and swallowed before laughing, "You're killing me Cami." 

The thing we had, this attraction, the complicity...it never went away. We could both be in relationships, consider each other best friends or family, but it was always there. We could ignore it, but that didn't make it disappear. "You're just being silly instead," I smirked back at him and shrugged, "Do you want more?" 

"No thanks," He answered as he took his hand away from me regretfully to walk over the table and pour himself another glass of wine. 

"Remember that you promised to drive us home," I pointed out as I watched him sip the wine, my hand guiding the popsicle in and out my mouth. He looked hypnotized.   

He cleared his throat, setting the empty glass back on the table and walking closer to me again, "I'm not a lightweight like you, don't worry cutie." He smirked as he looked down at me, watching closely as I finished. 

I wrinkled my nose as he grinned wider and moved his eyes down to my chest, brushing his thumb against it and then bringing his finger up to my mouth to lick it. I caught my breath, biting my tongue before saying something I might later regret. "The no messes rule was for you too," He added with a small grin.

I blinked, looking down at my cleavage and realizing what he had done and the reason for it. I let out my breath and smiled, "Oops. More wine?" I think I wanted another glass... no, I was positive that I needed one.

"I think I'm cutting you off instead," He grinned, his cologne wafting through the air and distracting me.

"Just one more. I think I could handle it," I said and bit my lip to conceal my smirk. He pulled away from me to grab the bottle, I reached for my glass and held it in front of me with eagerness. I never drank anymore, well, I didn't do many things anymore. "Thank you," I said after he poured, setting the empty bottle back on the counter. My eyes dropped down his body in the process, returning to his eyes as he turned back around to face me. 

"You're welcome," He said and leaned against the counter, maybe only now realizing how close we were standing to each other. "I booked our flights."

I widened my eyes at the normality of his tone, how sometimes being together just seemed so natural when we rarely ever saw each other anymore. "When are we leaving?" I asked and smiled, thankful for a vacation... and a long one at that. I couldn't remember the last time I'd gone somewhere and been able to relax. 

"The 20th," He grinned, glancing at my lips again and making me wonder if the popsicle had changed them colors. For the life of me, somehow it had slipped my mind what color it was. For all I knew, my lips were now blue and I looked like I was dying of hypothermia. 

"July or August?" 

He grinned wider, "July. I don't think I could wait another month."

I nodded my head, leaning against the counter beside him since I was starting to feel a little lightheaded. Too much standing. "We'll need to go shopping soon... Gabe needs new swimshorts." And I needed a few bikinis.. but that? I'd get on my own. If I took Chloe, she'd probably have me leaving the store with a thong bikini or something ridiculous. As each day got closer, her tormenting got worse. She thought that Ben and I were going to hook up... but she was wrong. 

"Gabe needs new swimshorts?" He asked and raised one eyebrow, shooting me an amused look. I nodded and bit down on my lip, thinking about shopping with Ben in the past and the times he'd join me in the dressing room. Oh how times had changed. "And you don't need anything?" 

I shrugged and let my smirk free to widen on my lips, "Maybe a few bikinis." I sipped the little of wine left in my glass, "Don't you?" 

"No, I don't need any bikini," He let his smirk match mine, it only getting bigger when his words got a giggle out of me. "But I'll be more than happy to come with you." 

"I can choose my bikinis alone thanks," I said and blushed a little, thinking about the way I used to drive him crazy with lingerie and swimwear shopping. Those times? They definitely weren't quickies.  

"I meant for Gabe," He said back as he took the glass from my hand to set it back on the counter, "But okay." 

I parted my lips to talk, but then again our adorable son popped in the kitchen, a frown on his face and a stain on his t-shirt. "What happened cutie?" I asked in a soft and sweet tone as I tore my eyes away from Ben and bent over my baby to inspect him. 

"I'm sorry, it melted," He explained in a small voice, the weapon he always used against us. Sometimes this little man was too smart for our own good. 

"I'll put you and the shirt into the washing machine," Ben joked, Gabe's eyes widening in horror. 

"He's not serious," I interjected and grinned at Ben as I stood straighter again, my hand grasping at his arm while I wobbled a little. 

He wrapped his arm around me immediately, steadying me against his chest as I smiled at Gabe who had a puzzled expression on his face. "Go get changed little man, put your pjs on," His dad said softly. 

"Maman?" 

"Go Gabey, we'll come right back," I reassured him and watched him go back from where he had come. 

I felt Ben shift as I kept my body motionless in his arms, feeling like my heart might pound out of my chest. It was familiar, maybe too familiar. "Are you okay?" He asked quietly and stared into my eyes, making me wonder what he was thinking. 

"I'm fine," I gave him a smile and tried forcing myself to move but my body was betraying me and loving the way it felt to have a mans strong arms wrapped around me. Ben's especially. "Just a little tipsy," I added and looked up at him pouting.

He smiled at me, the kind of smile I actually felt. Tilting his head down, he pressed a soft kiss against my forehead, "Do you want to borrow something to wear again?"

I lifted an eyebrow, "You don't like what I'm wearing?"

He let out a chuckle, "I always like what you wear, but I don't think you'll be very comfortable sleeping in jeans."

I turned my body in his arms and leaned my chest against his, "Does this mean you're putting me to bed?"

"It'd make sense since Gabe's asleep," He retorted, both of us going silent for a moment to listen to the silence around us. Not even crickets making a sound.  

My eyes moved to the clock and widened when I realized how late it was and how much time had passed. Looking back at Ben, I grinned and bit my lip while wishing again that I could read his mind. "How do you know he's asleep already? He just had a popsicle."

He pulled his body regretfully away from mine and intertwined his fingers with mine, whether to make sure I stayed standing or just the familiarity of the moment which I felt constantly. We walked down the hallway where Gabe's light was left on, but he was fast asleep on his bed with pajama pants on but no shirt. Luckily, it was a hot night and he wouldn't get cold without it. "Whenever he's quiet for more than five minutes, he's either up to something or asleep," Ben said quietly and broke away from me, covering our son with his blanket and then turning the light off. "Are you tired?"

I parted my lips slowly and shrugged, not sure of the answer myself. On one hand I felt like dancing while on the other I felt like I could lay down on the floor and pass right out. "I think so," I said, my words followed by a yawn.

He helped guide me to his room, his body behind me and his hands on my hips. I wasn't sure I needed that much help with walking, but I didn't mind the way he was so touchy... to be honest, I liked it. Not that I'd ever admit it out loud, even to Chloe who would read too into it. "I forgot how much of a lightweight you are," He turned his lights on, walking me over to his closet and letting go of me for a moment. I took the opportunity to strip down to my lingerie and grab a shirt, ending up back on his bed.

"I've gotten worse since I never drink," I smirked at him, kicking the blanket down in search for the sheets. I paused for a moment, realizing how comfortable I was in his bed and hearing Chloe's words in my head. Hell, I could even picture her stupid 'I told you so' dance. We weren't doing anything wrong, but when Ben took his shirt off? I couldn't look away.    

"You're too focused on being a good mom to allow yourself to drink," He smirked as he folded his shirt and set it in a pile on the chair in a corner of his room. 

"Chloe sometimes tries to make me drink but it always ends up with her being perfectly sober while I'm already on my way to be drunk. It's not fun," I said with an expression on my face which was a mix of a smirk, a pout and a frown. 

He grinned wide as he slid into the bed, turning onto his side to look at me, "Like now?" 

I watched him closely as he slid both hands under his pillow, the distance between us much farther than it seemed. "I'm having fun now," I said with a smile as I closed my eyes and stirred, "And I'm not drunk." 

"We'll see that tomorrow morning," He said back casually as I opened my eyes, catching his gaze on my legs. He flicked his eyes back up to mine and I smirked, liking the way he looked at me sometimes. It made me feel beautiful, or sexy.  

"How? If I'll remember what happens tonight?" I asked and bit down on my lip. 

"If you'll be hangover or not." 

"Maybe I should drink some water before falling asleep," I said in a tone that was way too sweet, hinting that I wanted him to get me some. My lips curled into a smile, "Please." 

He sighed and made a show of getting up, but winked at me before stepping out of his room. "Don't fall asleep yet," He said seriously, leaving the room while I looked around. It looked a lot like the old room we used to share, minus anything girly. It was the second time in less than a month that I'd ended up staying over at Ben's, in his bed nonetheless, and while nothing happened or would? I couldn't help but wonder how it'd be if we were like this always, all together under the same roof. 

He walked back into the bedroom with a glass of water in his hand and a smile on his handsome face. I was curled up on my side, my hand under my cheek and my eyes forced to remain on his. "You're welcome," He smiled at me as he handed over the glass and sat next to me.

I took a long sip carefully, keeping my eyes on his as we both simultaneously broke into a grin. I wasn't sure why we were grinning, but I missed the times like this when we could act silly with each other. "Thank you," I said quietly, resting the glass against my chest while I held on to it with one hand, careful not to spill even a drop. 

"Is it good?" He asked and I let out a laugh, letting my head fall back slightly and almost losing my grip on the glass before he reached for it, accidentally touching my boob in the process. Accident aside, I was blushing like a moron. "Careful gorgeous."

"It's only water," I pushed myself up and turned the other way to set the glass on the nightstand. And to try to recompose myself. "Next time I'll stick to one glass," I rolled onto my back again and stretched my legs out while reaching above my head to adjust my pillow. 

He let out a small laugh, being so patient with me it was like he was a saint. "Next time?"

"On our trip," I said and moved onto my side to face him, fidgeting until I was comfortable, close - maybe too close to Ben. I added a shrug and smirked, "Or the next time Chloe takes me out."

He kept his expression neutral, not giving any of his thoughts away. For someone I had known all of my life and been in love with for most of it, sometimes I could feel how much we had drifted apart from each other over the years. We weren't carefree teenagers anymore, we were adults now with more responsibilities than most of our closest friends. "Does it happen often?" He asked and let his gaze drop down to my lips for not more than a moment, but enough for me to notice. 

"No," I admitted and smiled, not able to remember the last time I had gone out somewhere besides a five star restaurant or an event for the agency. "Chloe stopped inviting me places after I kept turning her down, using dishes or laundry as an excuse."

"Good," He said simply, smirking as he stared into my eyes. 

"Good?" I echoed him with a tone which had a hint of amusement in it, my gaze still not leaving his. I couldn't get over how gorgeous and intense they looked. 

He nodded his head and only smirked wider, "She's not a good influence."

Once upon a time that might have been true, but Chloe had come a long way. I was proud of her since she was not only an amazing friend, but a great aunt too. Gabe adored her and she spoiled him with love. "Hey, I'm not so easily influenced!" I protested and furrowed my eyebrows as I poked his chest, only making him laugh while I got lost for a minute on how hard his stomach was. My hands were practically itching to explore his body, even if I could still remember every inch of it.

"I know I know," He reached for my hand and kept it in his, motionless for a second before bringing it to his lips. "Thank god," He added with a smirk and pressed a soft kiss on my knuckles. 

I watched him closely, dropping my eyes down to his lips and then back to his eyes. Holy shit, I needed to get laid and soon. "You're being silly," I said. 

"And you're falling asleep," He pointed out, using his free hand to caress my cheek before dropping it back on the mattress. 

"Maybe," I said in a whisper and smiled, not wanting to fall asleep just yet. "What will you do today?" 

He raised one eyebrow as he grinned at me, "Today? Tomorrow you mean." 

"Same difference," I smirked too, still holding Ben's hand and wondering what that mean. It probably meant nothing, but I was liking it. 

"I'll take my cuties out to breakfast then I'll work," He answered eventually, his response adorable and making me miss that side of him. 

"Your cuties will love that," I said in a barely audible voice, my eyes closing and my chest heaving up and down regularly even if I was still smiling.

The bed shifted and he leaned into me, pressing a soft kiss against my forehead before adjusting his head on his pillow again, "I love my cuties."

I let my eyes flutter open, finding Ben's gaze on me and smiling as I inched closer. With our hands tangled together between us, I leaned my body into his, keeping my grasp on his hand tight since I was tempted to wrap my arms around him. "We love you," I whispered back still smiling, thinking about how much our son idolized his dad.

"I know," Ben used his free hand to push my hair hair out of my face, pulling it back slowly but not fast enough. I took that hand in mine also and wrapped it around my waist, shooting him a smirk in the process and probably blushing as well. "Are you trying to cuddle me, cutie?" He grinned.

I hid my face against his chest, inhaling his cologne and resisting the urge to moan for how good he smelt. "I'm cold," I lied, moving my head to share his pillow and peeking at him with a grin on my face. It was crazy how he could still bring out this side of me, my nerves rushing back even if it was all innocent. 

His eyes flicked down to my chest then back up to me, "I can tell."

"Lies. I still have my bra on," I looked down to make sure, lifting my gaze back up to his and grinning wider. 

"We can fix that," He slid his palm flat up my back to unhook my bra quite expertly. "Oops."

I let out a quiet laugh, untangling my hand from his and setting both of my palms on his chest. "It's more comfortable that way, so thank you," I told him, letting my eyes close as my hand caressed his pecks, holding my breath until my hand was cupping the back of his neck. I left my other hand resting on his abs, my thumb making circles on his skin absentmindedly, the motion so familiar I barely realized I was doing it. 

"Don't thank me yet," He said quietly, making me curious. 

"No?" I asked in a barely audible tone, my fingers playing with the hair on the back of his neck as my lips curved into a smile.

"Can I finish what I started?" He asked as his hand moved up my arm and slid under the sleeve of my t-shirt to stop on my shoulder, his fingers already wrapping around the strap of my bra and lingering there while he silently waited for my answer. I could feel my heart pounding, not saying a word but nodding instead, my arms pulling away from him regretfully as I let him pull one strap and then the other down them, his finger tips brushing my skin in the process and leaving goosebumps in their wake. "Almost done," He slid his hand under the tee and hooked the front of my bra with one finger, causing my body to tense at his touch. I wanted his hands all over me, his lips on mine. Maybe it was the alcohol still fogging my thoughts, normally I was much more together than this. 

He pulled my bra out from under my shirt and tossed it aside. "Can I thank you now?" I asked in a breathy voice, my smirk getting wider as I peeked one eye open to look at him.

He stared at me for a moment, it coming into full realization that we were both half naked and in Ben's bed, holding each other like it was an every day thing. "You're welcome," He tilted his head down and kissed my cheek, sliding an arm under my body to pull me close again as the other one wrapped around my waist, caging me against him. I couldn't help but notice the way I still fit so perfectly in his arms. 

I shifted slightly, pushing my chest up against his while I snaked my arm around his waist, "What are you thinking about right now?"

I could feel his eyes on me, forcing myself not to look back as I nuzzled his neck and accidentally brushed my lips against his skin in the process. It made me think about the way I'd suck on his neck when I'd ride him, how he'd lose it when I'd focus on this one particular spot. "I'm wondering what you're thinking about," He replied in a low tone, my lips parting to breathe deeper.

Another quiet laugh escaped me because my thoughts? They came infused with sex, like those stupid cheesy sex books Chloe had convinced me to read. "You smell good," I said without a thought, mentally hitting my forehead since I could have said anything but that. 

He let out a soft laugh that rivaled mine, "That's what you're thinking about?"

No.

"Yes," I ran my fingertips up and down his back. "Now it's your turn to answer."

"I did already."

I shook my head, pulling it back to look at him again. I tried ignoring the way his eyes seemed a full shade darker than normal, how my body was reacting to him in ways it shouldn't be. I felt hot, like my body was on fire. "Give me a better answer," I grinned at him, trying to make light of the moment since there was tension between us. 

He grinned back at me, still staring into my eyes as he let his hand slip under the shirt I was wearing and rest it on the small of my back. "I'm thinking about you, thinking about me smelling good," He said and tried to keep a straight face, my face blushing a deeper shade of pink.

I let out a chuckle and nuzzled his neck again, hiding my face to conceal the way he kept making me blush. "Stop it silly, it was a serious question!" I protested, my hands resting flat against his shoulder blades as if keeping him in place. 

"And I gave you a serious answer," He said back, his smile evident in his tone.

"It wasn't instead," I shook my head and shifted against him, moving my legs and bumping my foot against his shin accidentally. He took advantage of that and tangled his leg with mine, the move making me grin. 

"Hey, don't hide," He pulled one hand away from me to lift it and play with my hair, his lips pressing a kiss on the top of my head. 

I pulled my head back slowly as I leaned into his touch, a smile curving my lips as soon as our eyes met. God the electricity between us, it made me wonder if he felt it too. "I'm still waiting for your answer," I said quietly. 

"I'm thinking about you," He admitted, smiling back at me. It made sense since I was here, sharing his bed with him and having a conversation. "About how soft your skin is," He added and his finger tips started trailing up my back, tracing my spine.

My breathing hitched and I tried not reading too into his words or the way that he was touching me. But my body? The heat had spread between my thighs, an ache building as he kept staring at me with his intense gaze and a sexy smirk. "I am..." I  agreed and leaned back into him so he couldn't see the way my chest was falling up and down at an unnatural pace. But could he feel how my heart was racing? I felt like it might pound out of my chest. "Everywhere," I added with a naughty grin, biting my lip to keep myself from saying anything more on the subject. 

"I remember," He replied in a quiet tone, inching his hand dangerously close to my booty. 

I lifted an eyebrow, trying to hide my disappointment when he grabbed my hip instead, "Do you?"

"Of course," He answered, his thumb playing with the side of my panties. "I remember everything."

"Everything? You must be a genius," I grinned, wanting to move my hips against him but thinking better of it. Resistance was my best friend. There was nothing a long bath couldn't fix... or a cold shower.  

"I have my moments," He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, still toying with the lace like it were nothing. It was starting to drive me crazy instead. 

I moved my leg slightly, pressing my hips against his as my body shifted on top of him. I looked down at him and the blank look on his face, losing my mind for a moment before getting my brain back and turning the lamp beside his bed off. "The lights," I said unintelligently, laying back down and realizing the light shining through the window still lit up the room, only now he couldn't tell when I was blushing. Thank god. 

As seconds passed in silence, the awkwardness became more tangible. I tried to relax, not wanting to over think everything which was usually exactly what I did. I rolled over onto my side, giving him my back. "Hey, no good night for me?" He asked in a quiet tone.

I tossed my head over my shoulder, seeing only the outline of his face and body. "I thought you fell asleep already," I said back just as quietly, a smirk playing on my lips as I tried searching the dark room for his handsome face.

"Either I'm awake or I'm talking in my sleep," He joked but reached for my body, his hands grasping at my hips to pull me close to him again, his erection resting against my ass and making me want to moan. I wanted to touch him, but even more, I wanted him to touch me. God, I wanted to touch myself. 

I let out a nervous chuckle and let him maneuver my body until my back was resting against his hard chest and his arms were wrapped around my waist. "Do you usually talk in your sleep?" I asked casually as I set my hands on his forearms and adjusted my head on his pillow. I had the feeling that what we were saying had little importance, the real talking was going on between our bodies. I already knew that Ben didn't talk in his sleep, I'd known him since we were babies.

He inhaled deeply against my skin, tilting his head down and pressing a soft kiss where my shirt had slipped down my shoulder and left my skin exposed. "I don't, but maybe tonight's the first time."

"Maybe you'll tell me your secrets," I grinned to myself, trying to be silly instead of thinking about how good it felt being in his arms again. 

"You already know everything about me instead," He retorted with his lips still grazing my skin, my eyes shutting tight as I bit down on my lip hard. He was so effortlessly sexy, it wasn't hard to see why I fell so hard for him in the first place... or why we had a son together. When we were dating, we couldn't keep our hands to ourselves. That attraction overcame everything.

I lifted a hand to move my fingertips up and down his arm, remembering how he used to love that since it helped him relax. I did know a lot about Ben sure, but so much had changed since we were together. "I bet you have new secrets now," I said seriously, knowing that he had a girlfriend since Chloe had told me as much. It wasn't a surprise that he was seeing someone or that she was a model. 

"New secrets? I don't know about that," He chuckled against my skin, causing a shiver to run through me. "Do you have secrets?"

"Mhm," I replied back, my mumble sounding like a moan as I shifted against him. I couldn't stop thinking about how hard he was or how easy it would be for him to slip inside of me right now, bury himself so deep inside until we were both coming. 

A breath escaped Ben and hit my neck, bringing goosebumps to my flesh, "Are you going to tell me them?"

I tilted my head back, my eyes having adjusted enough to find his eyes in the dark. I smiled at him, our faces only inches apart. My chest twisted and my heart was still pounding. I wanted to kiss him, but the thing was that I knew I couldn't. I reached for his head and tangled my fingers in his hair, pressing a kiss against his cheek, "Good night Ben."