how did it come so fast

how did it come so fast by ssaarah 

I prided myself on not thinking about Jac for a good 10 minutes before realizing that thinking about not thinking about her was indeed…..thinking about her. I ran my hands over my face and stared ahead of me at the tray on the back of the seat. How long was this flight? It felt like I’d been on it for forever.

“Are you okay?” the girl next to me blinked. She was cute and before Jac I would have reveled in the opportunity to flirt with a pretty girl to get through the long flight. But she didn’t hold a candle to the girl I loved. No one did. I shrugged.

“I don’t like flying much.” I admitted, not wanting to sound rude.

“Me either.” She replied. “Do you need something to drink? We can call the flight attendant.” What I really needed was a glass of whiskey but I figured that was out of the question so I just shook my head.

“I’ll be okay.” She nodded.

“Are you going to Vancouver for work or pleasure?” she asked, her words felt like a stab to my heart since I had thought it was going to be both.

“Um. Work. New job. You?” She smiled, a real full smile that made her whole face flush.

“Love actually.” She replied with a dreamy expression on her face. “I'm getting married.” Of course she was.

“Congratulations.” I replied, though I felt sick to my stomach. I was pretty much done with the small talk after that so I asked the attendant for a pillow and tried to sleep the rest of the way. I got off the plane and grabbed my luggage, seeing a woman holding a sign with my name on it.

“I'm Dean McGarritty.” I said in a monotone that made the girls face light up.

“I'm Jane Greene your realtor! I usually don’t pick up clients at the airport but there are some places you need to see before they go off the market.” she grinned. “I have a bunch of great listings to show you, lets get your luggage first, do you have a hotel room booked?” I nodded, barely listening to her go on and on about views and en suite bathrooms. I didn’t care. We stopped at the hotel to drop off my luggage and she took me to the first place. It was beautiful, a penthouse suite with a huge balcony and a master bedroom that had a killer view of the city.  High ceilings and a huge kitchen. It was perfect. For Jac. For me? Not so much.

“I'm looking for something a little less fancy.” I replied and she nodded, writing something down as she took me to the next place. It was a little older, still spacious and way better than the one I had at home but I didn’t automatically think of Jac when I looked at it.

“I’ll take it.” The realtor scrunched up her nose.

“Are you sure? It’s a little pricey for the-“ I nodded.

“I’ll take it. Can I move in tomorrow?” The realtor blinked.

“I thought that you and your fiancé were moving in a week….” I shook my head.

“Girlfriend. And she’s not coming. I'm here for good.” I didn’t really feel any need to go back, besides I’d be back in Texas for Garrett’s birthday in less than a month. She nodded awkwardly and then said she’d call up the property owner and get paperwork started. I went to my hotel room and lied on the bed staring at my phone. I wanted to call her so badly. What was she doing right now? Was she at work? Catering some fancy party where every guy in the room was wondering what it would be like to be with her? They had no idea. I shouldn’t. But I needed to. I grabbed my phone and sent her a text.

“I miss you.” Damn it that sounded so needy and pathetic. We technically broke up right? She was going to tell her friends I was a creepy ex who couldn’t let-

“I miss you too.” I smiled and got more comfortable.

“How’s your day?” I waited until I saw she was typing, feeling like a fucking teenager as I waited for her to respond.

“Fine. You?” I sighed and laid down on my bed, trying not to give in to the urge to call her.

‘Miserable.” I admitted. “But Vancouver is nice.” I added as an afterthought even though I hadn’t paid much attention to it at all.

“That’s nice.” Okay now we were just small talking. But we left it so abruptly what else were we supposed to do? I was about to reply when someone knocked on my door. I got up and answered it.

“Kiley?” she grinned.

“Hey! I heard you bought a really ugly apartment today.” She smirked. “Why isn’t your girlfriend coming?” Blunt.

“She didn’t want to.” I said after a few seconds because that’s what it really was wasn’t it? She didn’t want to be here, she didn’t want to be with me. She didn’t want the risk. Ki looked at me with a pitying look on her face.

“She’s an idiot. I'm sorry Dean.” She reached in to hug me and I hugged her back. “Let’s go out and celebrate your new job.” I shrugged.

“I'm not really in a celebrating mood right now actually.”

“Then we drink until you are.” She winked. “Come on I’ll introduce you to some of the people you’ll be working with.” I cringed, something about being reminded that I had just started up a new life here made me sick. But then the thought of drinking? That was a little better.

“Fine.” I shrugged. “Let’s go.”