I can't tell where the journey will end, but I know where it starts

I can't tell where the journey will end, but I know where it starts by sassy

 I kept my phone pressed against my ear, a beer in my other hand and my eyes staring in front of me as my mind was full of the girl who was the mother of my perfect son. "Oh yeah, I bet." I grinned to myself, listening to her carefully while she told me all her day with Gabe, explaining that he was so exhausted that he was sleeping already. "I'll call him tomorrow." I said quietly, always missing my kid, my back leaning against the wall of the building and my eyes looking at the people passing by the bar as I hoped that Tristan would show up sooner than later. The only way I could survive to Celeste and her friends? Was him. I couldn't stay forever out, talking with my ex, no matter how much I wanted to.
"I'll kiss him from you." She said back in a soft voice, "Tell your boyfriend I said hi. Good night Ben."
I smirked wider at her words, feeling like an idiot, "Night Cami." I said too and with that I hung up regretfully, sliding my phone back into the pocket of my jeans as I kept thinking about Cami and our night together. Since it had happened? I swear I couldn't stop thinking about it.

"What's that look for handsome?" My best friend's voice cut into my thoughts, making me turn my head in his direction.
I raised one eyebrow at him even though I was still smirking a little, genuinely happy that he was here. Finally. "You're late." I pointed out, sounding like a girl but oh well. There was a reason why people thought we were a couple.
"Now what I was talking about." He shook his head and shot me one of his smirks that got all the girls at his feet.
"Cami told me to say hi to my boyfriend." I grinned back at him, using her words before taking a long sip of beer. Getting drunk wasn't in my plans, but god it was a hot night.
He kept quiet a few seconds, the look into his eyes one I knew well since I saw it an awful lot, but, unfortunately, I couldn't understand it. "Cami, uh?"
"I called her to say good night to Gabe." I explained with a shrug because I didn't want him to start digging. Not yet. I downed the last sip of my beer and glanced at him, changing the subject, "I need another one. Ready to meet your future girlfriend?" I asked in a teasing voice, knowing that such a thing was impossible for Tristan Williams to happen.
"I know that the tall, hasn't eaten in a week type is what you prefer," He said, referring to the last few girls he had seen me with since we met. They weren't that bad, just thin. "But I like a girl with a little meat on her bones."
My brows shot up as I tried not to grin, "You're a chubby chaser?"
He laughed at the term and shook his head, "I like curves. If her face isn't that great? My eyes need a good distraction while she's riding me."
I shook my head and clasped a hand on his shoulder to lead him inside. "Such a romantic. Now I see why you don't have a girlfriend," I joked, making him grin.
"Did you forget, I have two," He joked back, knowing how much he hated labels and I couldn't blame him, but he also had to know that those two really were like girlfriends in a way.
And that led me to my next question, since until a few days before they were three, "Still no word from Brigitte?"
He parted his lips then shut them, stopping as a drunk girl stumbled in front of him. "If the cops show up, we're not going to get busted are we?" He asked and I wondered how much I was going to pay for dragging him here.
I rolled my eyes at his nonsense, since things like that never happened in this part of the city, "They're all over 18." I said even if I knew he didn't believe me. "You're avoiding my question," I added when he didn't say anything, reaching the bar counter finally and ordering us both a bottle of beer.
"She sent over a box of my things. Honestly, I didn't even know I had left anything of mine at her house... maybe she took them from mine instead," He said with a nonchalant shrug, no emotions on his handsome face.
I stared at him as I took a sip of my beer, wondering if it'd be a good idea to ask him the question I always had in my head whenever he talked about his girls. I knew he wasn't heartless and he cared in a way, only I couldn't understand him fully. "Doubtful." I paused, then decided to go on, "Just like that, it's over?"
"You make it sound like we were married." He shot me a grin, exactly like I expected him to do. I raised one eyebrow at him, neither surprised or happy with his answer, and kept silent. "After the scene she made there wasn't much left to say." He added and when I thought he was about to say more he didn't, but took a long sip from his bottle.
I turned around and leaned my forearms on the counter as I kept my head turned in his direction, genuinely curious about what he thought about his harem getting smaller. "I agree on that one. From what you said? She was worse than Chloe and that's a lot." At the mere mention of my sister he groaned and I smirked, "First and last time I'll say her name, I swear."
"Thanks." He said flatly, only making me grin wider.
I didn't want to bring my sister up either, so we were good. "Anyway, isn't it weird?" I asked, hoping he'd give me a decent answer. He always tortured me about Cami and Celeste and blah blah blah, now it was my turn and I couldn't be happier about it.
"What is weird? What are you even saying?" He smirked this time, treating me like I was talking nonsense only to distract me. Such a smart man.
I ignored him and shot him an amused look before turning serious again, "Ending things after so long, without even a word. She used to be your friend at the beginning." I pointed out, remembering when he had told me the story of how the two of them had met.
"Yeah it's weird, but that's what women do," Tristan grinned at me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder to pull me closer so we were side by side. "Thank god I still have my favorite girl."
I grinned and shook my head, "Man you mean."
"Sure," He smirked back at me and winked, dropping his hand to his side and taking another sip of his beer. "Where's your girl by the way?"
"Eager to meet her friend?" I joked, knowing he didn't want to be here tonight. I'm sure he'd remind me that whenever he'd need to, probably asking me for something back. He was a really good friend and I'd do anything for him, just like he would for me.
"Dying to," He replied in a monotone, scanning the crowd before his eyes landed back on Ben. "Did you tell her about the trip yet?"
"If I did, do you think I'd be here now?" I replied back, getting a chuckle out of him since that more than answered his question. Celeste was young, naive sometimes, patient even, but the moment I'd tell her I was going away with my ex and my son? She wouldn't take it good.
"Has Cami told Dante yet?" He grinned at my new round of questions, thankful the subject was once again off him. "Better question, will you two be sharing a bed and cuddling again?"
At the mere mention of that joke of a man I rolled my eyes, not wanting to remember the last time I had seen him with Cami. The fact that she had spent the night with me though? It made me feel better. "I didn't say we cuddled." I grinned at him since he knew about the first night only, when nothing had happened. "Not that time."
He raised one eyebrow, processing my words. "Not that time? Am I missing something?"
I shrugged and played innocent, "Do you want another beer?" I asked instead.
"Do you want me to go away?" He threatened, an amused look on his face as I rolled my eyes. I couldn't win against this guy, ever.
"I was just trying to create some suspense." I grinned eventually and took a sip from my bottle before tearing my eyes away from him and staring in front of me. "We slept together again."
"I can't say I'm surprised even if I am in a way." He said from beside me, his tone borderline silly since we were never able to stay serious. The thing with Tristan was that when we were together we acted completely different from how we acted when we were with other people, and I liked it.
I shot him a side glance as I let a small smirk play on my lips, "We cuddled like old times..." I trailed off, getting lost in my own memories. Her chest against mine, her hands on me, our legs tangled together and her sweet scent, her soft lips looking as tempting as ever, everything about that night was almost obsessing me. "I was so hard." I muttered under my breath, shaking my head as if I was talking to myself.
Tristan stared at me blankly, making me want to slap myself since that was a detail I should have let slip out. "Excuse me?" He cleared his throat and a grin appeared on his lips.
I looked back at him with a brow cocked, as if I had said nothing, "What?"
"You were hard? Did she notice?" His grin widened and if I knew him as well as I thought I did, I was sure he was imagining that now.
I shook my head and resisted the urge to roll my eyes at him again, "Of course she noticed."
"So what did she do?" He asked curiously.
"What do you mean what did she do?" I asked, stalling.
"Did she dominate you in bed? Claim you as her bitch?" He joked with a smirk.
At that I couldn't help but laugh, his words far from reality. Sure Cami could be wild for what I remembered, but in the end her cute side always got the best of her and I loved that. I had loved that. "Yeah, I wish." I joked back, even though there was a part of me which really wished that rather than nothing. But I wasn't going to admit it out loud, not to Tristan or anyone.
"Was she gentle instead and begged you to-" He started but I felt the urge to cut him off. I knew he was teasing me and I didn't mind it, but I didn't really need more sexual thoughts about my ex since they were already enough.
"Nothing happened." I sighed, my tone giving me away, "She just kind of ignored it."
"A low blow for your ego. Literally." He smirked wider, looking beyond amused by my words. "I bet she was wet though." He added as an afterthought.
"I hope so." I grinned back at him. I rarely talked about my personal life in detail and so did Tristan, but I felt that I couldn't hold everything to myself anymore, I was going crazy. Plus, I trusted him. He was my boyfriend after all.
He let out a low laugh, looking genuinely surprised by my answer, "You hope so?" He echoed me.
I shrugged, "It'd mean she still finds me attractive." I said simply before finishing my second beer.
Tristan finished his own beer and set it down on the counter top, nodding his head, "Well that one is a no brainer."
"I know you find me attractive Tristan," I grinned, motioning for the bartender to bring us two more.
"And so does Cami, so does Celeste," He scanned the room. "Hell, half the girls in this room are checking you out right now..."
I let out a chuckle, since that sounded nonsense coming from him. He attracted any human being on earth, no matter the sex. "They're probably looking at you. Maybe they overheard us and know you're down to two women and have an opening in your harem."
"Ha," He snorted and shook his head, leaving me wonder how had he thought to handle three women when one was already enough to drive a man insane. "Two is more than enough for me right now, but I don't need to tell you that. You have your hands full with Celeste and Camille."
I shot him a glance, since my case was very different from his. "I have my hands full of nothing instead." I said back flatly, reaching for my freshly open beer and taking a sip.
"Well I'm sure that's about to change..." He trailed off, his eyes tearing away from mine to look in front of him. I followed his gaze and found Celeste, who was typing on her phone as she walked towards us. "You should take her to dinner more, poor girl I bet she hasn't seen a steak in forever."
"You totally picked the wrong job, comedian would have been the right one for you." I smirked, not even bothered by his words since he never missed a chance to remind me how thin Celeste was. I turned my head in his direction and I stared at him, "Please don't say anything like that when she's here." I added as an afterthought.
He raised one eyebrow slowly and for a moment I thought he was taking offense. Sometimes my friend was a little too blunt for his own good, and while I didn't mind it at all, some people didn't like that side of him as much. "I'll try to bite my tongue." He said eventually and his smirk was back in place.
"Good, or I'll spank your ass." I grinned back at him, not able to help myself when it came to be silly and slightly gay with him.
"I'll leave the spanks for Celeste," Tristan smirked, but my mind was somewhere else already.
"Cami's the one who likes being spanked instead," I said right before Celeste looked up at us and smiled, saving my ass from whatever my friend was about to say about my latest confession. He didn't seem interested in Celeste, she wasn't attractive to his eyes, but Cami? That was a whole other story.
"Kari's running late," She said and sighed, leaning her body into mine while I wrapped an arm around her waist. Her eyes were still on her phone and they lit up a little, "She said she's down the block."
"Great, I can hardly wait," Tristan said sarcastically but thankfully she didn't catch it. I shot him a look that had him grinning instead since I caught it and I knew him well.
"Oh! Now she's stuck in traffic."
"Damn traffic," He sighed dramatically and shook his head. "Thanks for the play-by-play by the way. The suspense was killing me."
She looked up at him as if just noticing he was there, her lips parted but her phone beeped again before she could say anything. "She's out front. Want to come with me baby boo?" She smiled at me.
I cringed at the name as I tried to ignore it, reminding to myself that she was just being...well, 20. When I raised one eyebrow and said nothing, feeling Tristan's eyes on me, she let out a chuckle and leaved into me to kiss me chastely. "Sorry." She said with a smile on her pretty face before pulling away from me and winking at my friend, "I got it. I'll leave you with your man."
Tristan watched her walk away before looking back at me with a smirk on his face, "Adorable."
"She's pretty cute." I agreed. Celeste might be young and naive, but cute too, she wasn't too full of herself or too stupid like other models, I had to admit that.
"I was talking about you baby boo." He said back and his grin got so big that it went from one ear to the other, making me groan instantly.
"You're going to bring that up forever now, right?" I asked flatly as I glanced at him. I couldn't blame him though, if I were him I'd do the same.
He nodded and took a sip of his beer, amusement still on his handsome face. "It's kind of impossible to forget."
I sighed but didn't argue, knowing he had a point. A silly one but still. I glanced away from him and once again I got lost in my thoughts, words fighting to come out of my mouth since they were becoming too heavy to keep them all to myself. "I think I'm going to leave her soon." I paused, still not finding the courage to look at him as I confessed what was on my mind. "I saw Cami with that man the other night and I don't want her with him. I want her with me again." I said in one breath then stopped, knowing that my intentions were carrying a lot of problems, if you can call them that.
"Baby boo, you're drunk and I'm officially cutting you off," Tristan said after it seemed like five minutes had passed, making a show of reaching for my beer. We were used to be silly, never serious, and I was ready to drop the subject already.
"I'm not drunk," I shook my head and grabbed the bottle back, taking a slow sip. He lifted a brow and just stared at me, looking lost in a thought. "Well?" I asked when he said nothing.
He shrugged, "What do you want me to say? What you want to hear or my real opinion on the matter?"
"What do you think?" I asked back, not sure myself. Maybe I just needed to be heard.
He grinned at my response then got serious again, an expression I rarely see on his face unless he was working. "You only want Cami because she isn't available to you anymore," He said seriously.
"That's not -"
"If it's not true, then why are you here tonight? With Celeste," He asked. "If you wanted Cami then you'd be with her instead of dating another girl, because honestly? Sleeping with another girl doesn't exactly scream that you want to get back with your ex."
I parted my lips, processing his words, then closed them again. I knew that he had a point there, a really good one too, but it wasn't just that. "I tried to make it work with Celeste, it just took me a lot to realize it couldn't because of Cami."
"A lot of cuddling?" He asked as he smirked again, "Or a lot of seeing her with that man?"
I shrugged, because honestly? I'd be lying if I said either of those had no influence on my change of heart. It wasn't even like that, I suspected that part of me had always known that it would always been Cami only, just I had never admitted that before. Chloe was right. Not that I'd never tell her. "Both probably. But I'll be done with Celeste soon, that must count for something." I retorted weakly, slowly closing myself again.
"And then? What's the plan? You'll just go and take Cami back like a caveman?" He raised one eyebrow, not able not to tease me even if the subject was a serious one. I was grateful for that, too much seriousness made me uncomfortable.
I let out a laugh, even if it was a weak one. "Yeah sure." I rolled my eyes. I had spent the last week thinking about what I'd do and I knew how my case wasn't exactly the best one. The same things my friend had just said? Cami could say them too, then add others.
He took a sip of his beer, then licked the foam off the corner of his mouth, making widen the eyes of the girl next to us. "If you'll wear a piece of leather only you can have good chances to succeed."
"I'll do nothing instead." I said and forced a smirk as I looked back at him, "Can we go back to your harem? It was much more fun to talk about."
Tristan shook his head and grinned, ignoring the harem reference, "You'll do nothing or wear nothing instead? That's a good way to make her forget about Dante."
"You keep bringing him up," I narrowed my eyes on him. "Is he your new best friend or something?"
He let out a small laugh, "No. You wouldn't fight for me and I'd lose my boyfriend."
In that moment, he sounded a lot like Chloe. That worried me. "Lies," I said as a small smile played on my lips.
He shot me a look, and this time? Not only he was acting like my sister, but like the rest of my family too. Unbelievable. "You won't even fight for the woman you -" "Miss me?" A small voice cut in and he widened his eyes, finding Celeste back on me, grabbing at my arm with a perfect timing. I could understand my parents and my sister lecturing me but my best friend? I expected something more from him.
Beyond Celeste shoulder, a tall brunette smiled at him and extended her hand, "I'm Kari. You must be Ben's friend."
"Tristan," He said and shook her hand, a look on his face that wouldn't lead to anything good I was sure.
"Why are you being so quiet?" Celeste poked at my nose, a move I hated unless I was making on my son. Or Cami.
I groaned and grabbed her finger, about to come out with a rude remark when I saw the look into her eyes. She wasn't doing anything wrong and had no idea of what my plans for her were, all I could do was be a decent date for the rest of the night. "Tristan talks a lot, I can barely open my mouth." I smirked at her instead, bringing her finger to my lips and biting it playfully.
He raised one eyebrow, but whenever he was about to say something or not, Kari was faster than him. "It means he's an interesting person."
"Interesting sounds boring." I smirked as I let Celeste's thin body lean against mine, her arm around my waist and her head against my chest.
My friend shot me a blank look again before moving his gaze to the brunette. "We already met once." He said out of nowhere, not looking even slightly interested in the girl in front of him. Such a shame, she was beautiful. A lot better than the ones in his harem in my opinion.
Her lips formed a small o, her eyes widening a little in surprise as if she was trying to recall that moment. "Tristan's a casting director." Celeste cut into the conversation.
"Sorry, I've seen so many..." She trailed off and blushed, looking seriously cute. "I guess I have a bad memory."
"Don't worry, it took me a few times to recognize him too at the beginning." I smirked as I shot him an amused look to make the moment lighter. That was far from the truth and we both knew it, but the poor girl needed some help.
"You mean it was love at first sight instead," Tristan tossed a grin my way, Kari giggling like he had just said the funniest thing on earth and leaning her body into his while I started to think that this hadn't been a good idea at all.
"You're not his type," Celeste said seriously, basically handing him the chance to tell her that she wasn't either on a silver platter.
He shrugged instead of speaking, me shooting him a thankful glance since I knew him and where his mind was. It had to be my lucky night if Mr Williams had decided to play nice. "So you two are roommates," He looked at Kari then at Celeste and back at Kari again.
She nodded and bit into her bottom lip, her eyes wide and making me think about Cami and not because there was any resemblance between the girls, but because it surprised me how every female I met seemed the opposite of my ex. Everyone lacked in that natural sexiness my ex had, that made of her a goddess. "We are," She pressed up against him, almost making her way onto his lap. Talking about being spontaneous. "And best friends."
"Do you stay up all night doing each other's nails and hair?" He joked with a grin, while I wondered if he ever had sleepovers with his harem. Well now that the girls were two only, it'd be more like just a threesome.
"It doesn't take all night but yes." She answered and bit down on her lip again, making it obvious that she was more interested on do Tristan than her hair. Then again, he was a handsome man, I couldn't really blame her.
Celeste looked up at me, her lips curving into a smirk that I didn't see much on her pretty face. "Not tonight anyway." She said in a low voice that was close to a purr.
I stared at her and parted my lips, aware that I had Tristan's eyes on me and I wasn't going to lie, I felt pressured. Judged even, no matter if I wasn't necessarily doing anything wrong. "I can't tonight." I said eventually, watching her face change, the smirk replaced by a straight line. "But we're still going out for lunch tomorrow, okay?" I added, brushing my thumb against her cheek.
"Okay." She sighed eventually, not looking too happy but not too upset either, that was the thing about her. She was really patient when I wasn't available and she got content with little. Her eyes moved to her friend as she pulled away from me, "I need to freshen up."
Kari nodded as she gave her a look that had to be a girls thing, both of them walking away from us again and I finally let out the breath I had been holding when they disappeared. "So you say no to sleeping together tonight, but yes to lunch tomorrow?" Tristan's voice broke into my thoughts and I wondered if he was the fucking jiminy cricket. "I don't understand you sometimes."
I turned my head in his direction and shot him a blank look, not annoyed but not amused either. "I'm leaving her tomorrow." I said flatly and left it at that, turning away from him again to order something stronger than a beer.
"Not with a hangover you won't," Tristan grinned, trying to make light of the moment.
I appreciate that but for what I cared? We could be done with that conversation already and go back being our usual selves. "I'm not a lightweight like you," I joked back, still looking as serious as ever. I had a lot of my mind and just because I wasn't exactly willing to talk about it didn't mean I could just turn my brain off.
He let out a chuckle and shook his head, "Whatever you're about to order? Get me one too."
"Two whiskies," I told the bartender then looked back at him.
"I'm not judging you. You haven't done anything wrong," He said seriously, his words surprising me but just because he was saying it. I knew Tristan and I always accepted his opinion, no matter what it was.
"I know," I said with a small nod, glancing away from him as two glasses slid across the counter in our direction.
"Are you sure this is what you want?" He asked, probably noticing how my mood had changed.
"Yes, I love whiskey." I answered seriously before breaking into a genuine grin as I brought the glass to my lips to take a long gulp.
He rolled his eyes and smirked himself, his action mirroring mine. "One time I try to be serious with you and it goes to waste." He shook his head.
I enjoyed the burning feeling of alcohol going down my throat and shrugged. "Thanks for trying." I said back, as stubborn as ever. When my eyes moved to his again and I noticed his dead serious look I almost laughed. Almost because I knew better. "What do you mean this is what I want? What's this?" I asked eventually, a sigh escaping me and showing my frustration. I was just a man after all.
"I don't know you tell me." He said back, studying me.
"I want to finish things with Celeste, and I'm sure about that." I ran my hand through my hair, wincing at the thought though. I knew she was going to get hurt and even though I wasn't in love with her or anything I still didn't like the idea.
"And?" He asked with an eyebrow raised, sipping his whiskey slowly.
"And I want to try again with Cami, but I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon." I sighed, knowing that my timing was probably the worst. I could already picture our vacation together, her being her usual amazing self and me dying to get her back. I had to be patient instead. My serious face turned into a silly one as I looked at my friend, since I didn't want to put too much thinking in the future. "You can have me all for you for a while."
"I like the sound of that, but I'm not going to cuddle you," Tristan said with a smirk, winking at me which caused me to laugh. I faked a pout and he broke into a laugh before I even had the chance to speak again.
"Are we interrupting something?" Celeste asked and looked at me with wide eyes, looking surprised to see Tristan's nice side. He didn't show that much, but to me he had no secret and I knew every aspect of his personality.
I shook my head and kept my grin in place, "Tristan was just trying to get me over to his house for cuddles."
She looked at him while he shrugged, "Guilty. I can't stand the thought of him sleeping alone tonight."
"I can do something about that," She said softly as she tried again, a coy look on her face.
"Actually, tonight you're mine," Kari cut in, tossing a sexy look his way. I had to say that I was surprised that she was literally throwing herself at him, the girl had some nerve. I almost felt bad for her, because no matter how good looking she was or how hard she'd try, Tristan would turn her down anyway.
"Does the birthday girl want cuddles?" Celeste asked her friend and grinned, his eyes moving to Ben and then he rolled them, making me feel the urge to spin on my heels and walk out of this bar and this situation we were in. I had thought that it would've been nice, even fun, it was a torture instead.
"The birthday girl wants shots!" She replied back and waved the bartender over, "A round of tequila shots for me and my friends! It's my 21st birthday!!"
"Can I see your ID?" The guy flirted back, "You don't look at day over 20."
She raised one eyebrow at him, not impressed, "So what? For what I know you need to be 18 to drink here." She retorted, looking smarter than she probably was.
The guy laughed and shook his head, whatever it meant, and aligned four shot glasses on the counter before filling them to the rim. "Well, happy birthday." He said with a smirk.
She turned towards us as I glanced at Tristan, his brow raised which said a lot without him talking. "Happy birthday to me!" She said when we all took the shots and downed, my friend and I not as excited as the girls.
I set the empty glass back on the counter and looked at Celeste. "It's time for me to go." I announced, not able to stay there a second longer. It was pointless, I couldn't really keep acting normal with her, considering that I'd leave her the next day, and I needed to drag Tristan away too before his annoyance could reach an even higher level. If I knew him a little? He'd made me pay for this for forever.
"No, please." She pouted as she leaned her body into mine, looking at me with her best bambi eyes.
I forced a smile and pulled away gently, setting my hand on her hip, "I have to get up early tomorrow." I explained, leaving out the part where I had to in order to finish packing for my vacation with Gabe and Cami.
Kari shook her head at me before moving her eyes to Tristan, looking at him as if he was some kind of delicious dessert. I couldn't really blame her. "You're not going too, are you?" She asked and bit her lip, trying to impress him with a sexy move when it took a lot more than that to impress him.
"Unfortunately, I am." He said back, her expression showing how much he wasn't sorry about it. Actually, he looked relieved. I swear sometimes he killed me.
I shot him an amused glance, "He needs to keep an eye on me to be sure I'll get home safe...he's overprotective like that."
"He loves being tucked in," Tristan added with a shrug, keeping his expression serious.
Kari threw her head back and broke into a fit of giggles, "Oh god! You guys are too much!"
"Usually I get a lot worse than that," He smirked and stood up.
Celeste had a frown on her face, big wide and innocent eyes to complete the look, which only made me feel worse. "Are you sure? I can leave now if you want company..." "No," I shook my head and pushed her stray hairs out of her face and behind her ear, doing my best to give nothing away and keep a straight face. "Stay with your friend and have fun. I'll call you tomorrow and we can decide on a place for lunch."
"Or we can go to our place..." She trailed off and leaned back into me, not giving up easily. "The one where we first met."
"If it's what you want," I said simply and kissed her head before pulling back, trying to ignore the sad look on her pretty face and feeling guilty because I knew that she expected to go out on a cute date and she'd get something really different instead.
"Yeah," She said quietly and nodded her head before looking at Tristan and the distance he had already put between himself and Kari who had given up on him and was flirting shamelessly with the bartender now. "Take good care of my baby. It was good seeing you Tristan!"
"As always," He smiled with a small nod, turning to leave before one of the girls tried protesting one more time. "You didn't tell her about the vacation, did you?" He asked when we were out of earshot from them.
I looked straight ahead, avoiding his gaze on purpose. "I didn't." I said simply and shrugged, leaving it at that since I was starting to feel genuinely nervous, and bad, for the moment I'd have to tell her that we didn't have a future anymore. Not that we ever had, but she had been the girl I had been for longer since Cami and I cared about her, even if not in the right way or enough.
"That's all you're going to say?" He pushed, either trying to understand where my mind was or just being curious.
As we stepped out the bar I finally glanced at him, a serious look on my face. "I had no reason to tell her about it, it would've made things ever worse." I explained quietly.
"She's going to find out." He pointed out and raised one eyebrow at me, both of us walking with our hands in the pocket of our jeans. Looked from the outside? I bet we looked pretty silly, even if we were being serious for once.
I sighed, thinking about the magazines my dad had showed me. I could hope that no one would pay attention to my vacation with my ex and our son, but I knew that the chances were thin. Also I wondered what Cami's boyfriend thought about that too, if he even knew. "There's not a right way to handle this situation, whatever I could do it'd be wrong in some way and Celeste will get hurt no matter what." I reasoned out loud, my tone showing how frustrated I was.
Tristan nodded his head but shrugged his shoulders, "True, but she had to know what she was getting into. First off? You have a son who is your life and second? There's Cami and..." He trailed off, pulling a hand from his pocket to run it through his hair.
"Go on," I said when he didn't. Despite being basically my best friend, I wasn't sure about what his opinion about Camille was. Sure he joked about it, teased me, brought her up to make fun of me, but we never got to talk about her seriously. I had even got to the point where I suspected he was single Ben team.
"Anyone who has ever seen you and your ex together knows that you two aren't over each other," He said honestly, saying it out loud for the first time.
I kept silent, deep in my thoughts, his words still echoing in my mind just like everyone else's. "Maybe," I said finally and simply.
"If she wasn't seeing that douche, would you still feel the same way you feel right now?" He asked curiously and looked at me from the corner of his eye. "The vacation... dumping Celeste..."
"Yes." I answered quickly as I nodded my head. "I'd feel the same. Damn, I've been feeling this way for years." I added in a mutter, confessing something I had never had the courage to admit to anyone, not even myself.
"And you realized that just now when you saw her with him?" He asked, looking genuinely skeptical. "Talking about timing."
I let out a deep breath, knowing that he wouldn't be the only one to point that out. "It's not like I saw her with him and I decided that I want her back just because I'm jealous." I tried to explain and when he stared at me with an eyebrow raised I lifted my hands in surrender, "Okay, that too. But it's more like, seeing them together made me understand how much I'm missing her in my life."
"I'm not sure if I'm getting this right." He told me with a grin on his face, trying to make the moment lighter. "You sound confused handsome."
I glanced at him and sighed, "That I am. Handsome and confused." I smirked back at him and he laughed before turning serious again, so I went on. "The idea of the vacation though...that's a whole other story. I had been thinking to take Gabe away for months, then I realized that Cami would have hated to stay away from him while we were on some beach having fun. That's why I asked her to come, not to get her back."
"So it'll be an innocent vacation with your son," Tristan reasoned, watching me nod my head. "And you're not going to try anything."
"Is that a question or a statement?" I grinned and he shook his head.
"How many rooms are at this place? Maybe I need to come and be the buffer," He joked when I made an unreadable expression. "What?"
I was running a hand through my hair again, getting ready to hear him groan as soon as my words would leave my mouth. "There's only two bedrooms, but if you like sleeping on the couch, you're welcome to stop by," I grinned and he groaned just like I expected.
"Let me guess, you two will be sharing a room?"
I shrugged innocently, since there was no other option. I had offered to sleep on the couch, but I was glad that Cami had said no. Couches weren't so comfortable, while a bed with her in it...it sounded a lot better. "Nothings going to happen," I said seriously.
"So when Cami starts taking off her clothes for bed time and she's wearing something lacy and see through, you're just going to look the other way?" He grinned.
"This isn't that kind of vacation," I narrowed my eyes on him, hating him a little because my mind was now stuck on her going around half naked. "She's not going to walk around in lingerie."
"Walk around in it? Probably not," He concurred. "But it's a vacation and women always bring skimpy lingerie on vacation. And since you two are sharing a room, you'll probably shower together to conserve water also. But yeah, I'm sure that nothing will happen."
"You're so hilarious, really." I said flatly, even though I couldn't hide the hint of amusement in my voice. He just shrugged, his grin still in place. "If she asked, I wouldn't say no. You know I care about environment and stuff."
At that, he laughed and shook his head, "Oh yeah, next step is becoming vegan." He joked with me, "But as your friend I should remind you that less than one minute ago you said nothing is going to happen."
"I said I'm not going to try anything." I retorted and smirked, being a smartass, "But I said nothing about her making a move on me."
His grin got wider as he turned his head to look at me, "Now I think you're just overrating yourself, you're not that irresistible."
"Ouch." I faked a pout and brought a hand to my heart, faking offense. "I wish I was, like you."
"You're lucky I don't get to spend time with Camille." He said suggestively and I didn't even groan. I knew he was just trying to get a rise out of me, always pushing the right buttons. Too bad I was used to that.
"You wouldn't do anything anyway, you'd never cheat on me." I joked back and shot him a silly face, that got him grin, "I, on the other hand..."
"I don't think any straight man would be able to turn down a woman like her." He said seriously.
"I know, she's just too perfect." I nodded in agreement, "But she'd never try anything with me, so I'll just die of frustration by the end of the vacation."
"Death by spooning your ex? I could think of worse ways to go," Tristan smirked and tossed a wink my way. I let out a small laugh and parted my lips before he spoke up again, "And don't even tell me that you're not going to cuddle her. You know it and I know it."
"Oh, there's nothing wrong with cuddling," I agreed and grinned wide. He kept quiet and gave me a weird look, the kind that I rarely got from him. "What?"
He shook his head, "You look happy."
"I'm always happy," I retorted quietly and that was true. Even in the darkest days all I had to do was think about the amazing son I had and everything got better. "Where are we going?"
"My house. I'm not done drinking yet," He replied as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, lifting a brow at whatever was on the screen. "Did you give Celeste's friend my number?" He groaned.
I leaned closer to look over his shoulder, smirking and shaking my head at the picture of Kari making a silly face, "Not interested?"
"I left with you," He said flatly. "What's that say?"
"That you're a dedicated girlfriend?"
He laughed and slapped the back of my head gently, "You're lucky you're so pretty."