all we need is faith, faith is all we need

all we need is faith, faith is all we need by sassy

I opened the door and glared at my uncle...well, Ames. "It was about fucking time." I muttered under my breath as I let him walk inside my apartment.
"Language Ben, there's a kid here for fuck's sake." He whisper as he grinned at me, not even bothering saying sorry for being late. Fifteen minutes only, but still.
I groaned but smirked eventually, taking the carton boxes from his hands as I made my way to the kitchen, "Hilarious." I said flatly, not in my usual good mood. Truth is, I had a lot of my mind, but I was genuinely happy to have him here with me and Gabe.
As if on cue my perfect son appeared from the livingroom, running of course. "Uncle Ames!" He said with enthusiasm, always loving being surrounded by people, mostly because he got spoiled even more. As if he needed that.
"Hey big boy." Ames grinned at him, messing with his hair, "What's up?"
"Is it true that we're having pizza? Papa never lets me eat pizza." He asked seriously, giving me a look before smiling at my friend. That wasn't enterely true, I made exceptions sometimes, like tonight.
"Never? Lies again Gabriel?" I raised one eyebrow at him, grabbing him by his waist to set him on a stull by the kitchen island. I didn't know what was with lies lately, it wasn't like he lied about important things, but he definitely did to take advantage of some kind of situations or to get his way. He was a smart kid, a little tricky too, but at least he never got me bored, he was a living entertainment.

Ames glanced at him, an amused expression on his face, "Uh oh, full name means trouble."

"Sorry papa." He frowned at me, knowing that it was what I wanted to hear, then looked back at his uncle giving him a huge smile, "I'm a good boy."

"Are you now?" I grinned at him, setting a slice fuming pizza under his nose before giving a few to Ames and getting a couple for myself.

"Maman always says so." He nodded and grabbed his slice, his mouth opening wide before sinking his small teeth into the food, looking like a little famished monster but a cute one anyway.

I sighed and looked at Ames as I handed him a cold beer, "See? I'm the one in trouble here."

“Apparently.” He glanced at me, giving me a weird look.

“And I'm up late!” My son said grinning, happy to be able to break the rules even if for just 30 minutes. Lately he was all about being a big boy and act like one, only when it was good for him of course.

Ames forced a yawn. “Well that’s not good, sleep is good for you.”

Gabe blinked at him and then his little mouth yawned too. “It is?” He asked.

I smirked, running my hands over my son's hair. He was the cutest. “It’s bedtime when you’re done with dinner Gabe.”

He nodded and then grinned when he looked back at Ames to lean in. “Eat slowly.” He whispered. And he was five only.

Ames ruffled his hair again and took a sip of his beer before looking back at me but it took me a while to notice. I was there but then I wasn't, now that Gabe had someone else to focus with I couldn't help thinking about my sister, wondering where she was, if she was okay... I was getting sick with worry and I was sure that this feeling wouldn't go away for a while. “How’s work?” I asked instead, knowing he was in the middle of some ridiculous sexual harassment shoot with one of our girls.

“Annoying.” He sighed, shaking his head. “The girl’s not exactly innocent, not that that means she deserved it but you know…”

“What is innocent?” Gabe asked him, blinking his eyes and looking genuinely curious.

Ames grinned and poked his nose. “It’s a good thing. It’s what you are.” He teased while I smirked.

"Papa?" He turned to me, still chewing his pizza, "I'm good?"

"No you're not because good boys don't talk while eating." I raised one eyebrow at him, never missing a chance to teach him how to behave. I glanced at Ames who was giving me an amused look, "What?"

"Nothing, you're just..." He trailed off, smirking and taking a sip of his beer instead of finish his sentence.

"Just?" I pushed, my eyes going back and forth between my son and my friend while I ate.

He shrugged and his smirk got wider, "Such a dad." He said finally before winking at Gabe, "You're a lucky boy."

He just frowned at him, probably not understanding what we were talking about, then shrugged and focused on his food again. "Can I have some water please?" He asked instead.

"Yes you can." I grinned at him as I filled his glass, proud of him behing so polite. At least all my efforts to give him a proper education were working.

"This is so weird." Ames shook his head, but a smile was playing on his lips, "You're my nephew and you already have a son."

I laughed lightly, amused by his word since he never called me that. Sure we shared some blood, but we were friends more than relatives. "You're just five year older than me." I pointed out.

He parted his mouth to talk, but before he had the chance to my silly boy cut him off. "Can I go papa?" He asked, looking at him with his big green eye that were my weakness.

"Where do you want to go little man?" Ames asked, leaning into him from across the counted and staring at him with a smile on his face.

My son glanced at me and took a few seconds to answer, his face scrunched up in a thoughtful expression. "I can watch cartoons before sleeping." He said carefully, as if he wasn't sure about that.

"Go little monster, you have until nine." I smiled at him as I helped him jump off the stool, watching him march to the living room. "We're joining you in a sec."

Ames looked at him then at me, "Unbelievable."

I ignored him and sat down again, reaching for my beer, "So, what's up?" I asked, knowing that we didn't have much time to dig into the subject we couldn't bring up when my 5 year old son was with us.

“Same old same.” Ames replied seriously, finishing his beer and grinning at me when I handed him a second. “You.”

I shrugged. “I think I'm done with Celeste.” I said even if I wasn't entirely sure. Truth was, I had too many doubts and I couldn't make up my mind. One moment I thought she was too young, the other I thought she was still a nice girl and I liked her despite the age gap...I had to thank Tristan for waking up my conscience.

He chuckled. “You say that as if you just finished a newspaper or something.” He teased me and I smirked.

“Like you’re much better. Aren’t you dating one of my sisters friends right now?” I asked, trying to remember what her name was...Charlene? Or Charlotte?

“Yeah because you’ve never done that.”

“Yes, but as we’ve discussed, I'm 5 years younger than you.” I winked, even though it meant nothing to be honest. Age was just a number after all.

“Charlotte’s old enough.” He replied, wincing a little.

“Does she know what she’s getting into?” I asked, my brow raised.

He swallowed and ran his fingers through his hair. “You’d think Chloe would warn her friends about us by now.” He laughed and I shrugged, dazing off a moment. “Either way sometimes I catch her looking at me. Like she wants to see a future there.”

I nodded, knowing what he was talking about. That was the worst part, when you knew you couldn't give the girl the future that she wanted but you didn't want to hurt her anyway. Despire my reputation and all the jokes I wasn't as bad with girls as everyone thought. “I’ve seen that look. In my book it’s code for time to finish the newspaper.” I joked.

He nodded and looked back at me. “What’s up with you? You’re weird. Is everything okay with Gabe? With Cami?”

“Everything’s fine with them.” I swallowed, ready to talk about what had been bugging me during the last days. “It’s Chloe.”

He blinked. “She back to her old ways?” He asked, looking a little worried and I couldn't blame him because when it was about her you never knew what could have happened. I shook my head and stood up, running my hands through my hair. “Ben….what’s wrong?”

“We were running in the park the other day and some guy came up to her. But Ames you should have seen her, it was like she was a zombie or something.”

He stood up too. “What do you mean?”

“Turns out when she was in New York for school as a teenager? She dated this guy and….he’d hit her Ames. Worse than hit her. It got so bad she ended up in the hospital, she flew back home early and never told anyone.”

“Who….how….when.” He started, looking really angry. If I was like a friend to my uncle, Chloe was like a sister to him.

He slammed his fist against the table and I nodded. “Yeah that was about my reaction too.” I agreed.

“Who is he?! Where’s Chloe is she okay?!”

I shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. I’d never seen her that way….look….don’t tell our parents…”

He shook his head. “Does she know you told me?”

"Kind of." I sighed, looking at him, "I told her that I wanted to tell you but then we dropped the subject."

"Why?" He raised one eyebrow, "Didn't she want me to know?"

I shrugged again, suddently exhausted. This whole thing was draining me, I needed a vacation from my own brain which was about to explode from too much thinking. "I don't know and I don't care, I couldn't keep this secret all alone." I paused, "And to be honest I wanted your opinion since he's here now and I don't want him to get close to Chloe."

He nodded, rubbing his chin, and I could see he was thinking hard. "It's a bad situation, hard to handle at least." He pointed out.

"Don't I know?" I sighed again, wishing this was just a bad dream and not reality. "And you know how stubborn she is, I suggested her to go to a therapist since she's obviously still kind of shocked, but she just keeps saying she's just fucked up. She repeates it again and again, still doesn't do anything to change that."

"I think she's just really scared and too proud to admit it." He said quietly, offering a smile. Wise Ames, I was greteful to have him and I was sure he was going to help me.

"I don't know if there's some legal way to keep him away from her..." I trailed off because in all honesty I knew nothing on the matter.

"I'll think about it Ben, I'm going to help you to get some sense in her head."

"Good." I smiled, feeling a little relieved now that I could share that burden with him, "Can you try to talk to her too?"

"I'll try but I won't promise anything." He raised his hands as he smirked, lightening the mood.

I parted my lips to talk, but Gabe's voice cut me off, "Papa!" He screamed from the other room, almost giving me a heart attack, "Water!"

"What?" I asked back, rolling my eyes at Ames while he smirked.

"Water please." He said again, adding the magic word.

I reached for a glass and filled it, starting for the living room, "He'll get me deaf one of these days."

Ames chuckled as he followed me, "He could be so much worse." He paused, smirking at me, "You were so much worse."

"Lies, I was an angel." I grinned back at him as I handed the glass to my son who was watching his favorite cartoon carefully. He didn't even bother to say thanks, too focused to even look at us.

"Far from it." He let out a small laugh before we both sat down on the couch.

"So, when am I going to meet your girlfriend?" I asked, wanting to talk something normal, and teasing him.

Gabe's head shot in my direction, "I don't have a girlfriend. Girls are silly." He said seriously.

"I wasn't talking to you little man." I poked his nose, making him wrinkle it before he lost all the interest and his eyes moved back to the tv. I shot Ames a look, "Be careful with what you say." I warned him.

“I'm older than you remember? I'm very wise.”

I snorted and shook my head. “Sure.” I nodded, pretending to buy that. There was something about Alere eyes. They were very expressive.

“You can meet her.” He said, surprising me a little to be honest. “She’s lovely really.”

I rose a brow at his choice of words. “Lovely?” I asked, echoing him.

He laughed. “It’s true really. She’s beautiful, she’s fun, smart, good to talk to…. Really great at things I don’t talk about in front of 5 year olds.” He added, smirking as he peeked at Gabe who was ingnoring us completely.

I gave him a face, waiting for her flaw. If a guy said only good things about a girl? Bad sign. “But?” I asked.

He shrugged. “But I don’t feel anything.” He admitted. “I mean other than attraction.” He swallowed. “And guilt.”

“Guilt huh?” I asked. Ames was a good guy though, he rarely did something bad, so I doubt that he deserved to feel guilty just because he couldn't fall anything for this girl. “

I can’t let her go. She never did anything wrong.”

“Sounds dangerous.” I commented.

He shrugged. “Do you think she’s too young for me?”

“Yeah.” I smirked even if I should have been the last person to say anything about dating younger girls.

“I thought so. Milena said the same thing. It’s weird I look at her and I know she’s a baby but with other girls I don’t notice the age difference.”

I looked at him again, wondering where this was even coming from. “No offense, but you’re crazy. Milena is no baby.”

He laughed. “Well not anymore I guess….What about you and your girl?”

I rolled my eyes at him, since there was no my girl. There was a girl, it was different. "Can't tell." I shrugged, part of me relieved that Gabe was giving me an excuse not to talk about Celeste. Not that I minded that, but everytime I talked about her I was somehow tricked into talking about Cami and that I minded a little more.

"But I want to know." He pushed as he smirked, then looked at his watch, "Isn't late for this little man?"

"NO!" Gabe said suddenly, proving me right since I had suspected that he had been hearing everything Ames had said so far. He looked at me, "Papa please."

I grabbed him by his waist and forced him to hop down the couch, "Change in your pajamas and you can stay up a little more." I said quietly as I smiled at him.

"Okay." He said back with a silly smirk on his face before marching to his room while singing the song from his fave cartoon.

"You can talk now." Ames shot me a glance as we were alone again, the look on his face letting me know that he wouldn't give up until I'd say something about Caleste.

I leaned back on the couch, setting my head against a cushion, "There's not much to know."

"If you're about to dump her, then there's at least something." He pointed out, raising one eyebrow at me.

"I don't know about that." I said casually, dozing off as I stared at nothing. Truth was, I was always too busy thinking about Gabe, my family and my job to give Celeste the attentions she deserved, it wasn't like she was bad, it was me not even wanting to try. Chloe was right about that, not that I'd never admit it.

He let out a small laugh andnudged me with his elbow, "Hey, you said that when? Less that one hour ago?" He pointed out, reminding me my own words. See I could't even keep track of my own thoughts.

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair like I did everytime I felt frustrated and a little defeated, "I don't really want to finish things with her, she's nice, fun, sexy, yet I'm not sure if I want to stay with her either." I reasoned out loud, "If that makes sense."

"I understand you there." He nodded, giving me a look. "It sucks."

"Maybe I should try harder." I went on, but as soon as the words left my mouth? I knew that I couldn't do that, or, correction, I could, but against my own will. "She's only 20, I'd feel bad if I hurt her."

Ames blinked at me, "20?! And you said Charlotte is too young." He shook his head.

"Double standard?" I shrugged as smirked, realizing that just now, "We should go on a double date, we'd drink while they'd play barbies."

He laughed hard, that noise echoing through the whole apartment, "You kill me." He baused to take a deep breath, "Do you know that Charlotte is Chloe's age right?"

I smirked even wider as I glanced at him, "That proves my point even more."

“You give Chloe too hard a time man.” Ames said smirking as he shook his head.

I blinked at him, wondering how we went from talking about the girls we were currently fucking to my sister. And I didn't give her any fucking hard time, I just tried to keep her out of trouble. “No I don’t.”

He just raised his brow at me and shrugged. “Okay.” He said, nodding and sipping the last of his beer.

That seemed far from a genuine okay and I was starting to get annoyed because in the end Chloe was my, my!, sister, and the way I dealt with her was strictly our business, not even our parents were allowed to stick their nose between us, let alone my uncle and my friend, no matter how close we were. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Some time since Gabe was born it was like you became the jerk big brother that you should have been when you guys were kids.”

I scratched the back of my neck and looked back at him, surprised because that was so unlike Ames. He wasn't the kind of guy who judged or picked favorites, I guessed that he did now. “You think I'm a jerk to Chloe?”

He shrugged. “I thought you knew you were.” He admitted. “I mean, yeah, she’s a little immature, and can fall off the deep end, but now we know that’s not just her losing her mind, she’s trying to run away from her pain. But you kind of treat her like a 5 year old who isn’t capable of making her own choices. And an idiot. I remember watching you two grow up, how you were the one who taught her how to swim, how to ride a bike, you were so patient and protective of her. Made me want a big brother too.”

I didn't even give his words the time to be processed by my brain, I didn't even need that. Now I knew from experience how was to deal with a 5 year old and it was nothing like I treated my sister, not to add that if she didn't give me any reason to worry I wouldn't worry. But she did, big time. “This is the thing though. She isn’t capable of making her own choices!!! Look at what happened to her when she did!” I said with my eyes narrowed, so over this conversation already.

“Look Ben. That wasn’t her fault. She was a kid, hell she’s probably still stuck in that kids mind set half the time. I see it with abuse cases every day. She needs help man not a brother who teases her all the time when he used to be the only one who was there for her."

“I'm not teasing her-“ I started, frustrated because it wasn't like that. I'd never blame Chloe for what happened to her, it could have happened to anyone, but sure she knew how to look for trouble.

Gabe bounded back into the room, saving me from going on. “Can I have some more water papa?” He asked.

I smiled at my son and ruffled his hair. “Sure.” I nodded.

He followed me to the kitchen as I got up from the couch and left Ames behind for a moment, my eyes dropping on the shirt of his pajamas which was backwards. I couldn't help grinning, he was just too cute and the only person in the whole world who could make me smile with no reason at all. It always startled me how sometimes it wasn't my 5 year old boy who needed me, but I needed him. "Why are you smiling?" He asked as he looked me suspiciously, his head tilted back to make better eye contact with me.

I grinned even wider as I handed him a glass of water, "No reason." I said quietly, watching him drink then setting the empty glass on the kitchen counter, lifting himself up on the tip of his toes.

He shugged his tiny shoulders and marched back to the living room, where Ames looked deep in a thought. When he noticed Gabe he smirked, "Hey buddy you have your shirt backward." He pointed out with amusement in his tone.

My son just shrugged again like it was no big deal and took his shirt off to wear it again a second later in the right way. "Okay." He said simply. It killed me how sometimes he acted like everything could happen and he wouldn't care less. I wanted to keep him like this forever, as if nothing bad could touch him.

I slumped next to my friend again, wondering how long it'd take to my boy to feel exhausted and sleep as he climbed on top of me and curled against my chest, something that he used to do when he was really tired, since he was a baby. "Did you brush your teeth?" I asked him, always careful that he'd follow his routine before going to bed. He was only a little kid, but I wanted him to learn how to be independent from the start.

He just looked up at me, in a way that said more than words. Almost...annoyed that I could doubt that he did. "He looks a lot like you when he does that." Ames laughed from next to me, his eyes bouncing between us.

"He's a sassy little thing." I grinned as I let my fingers play with his hair, noticing his eyelids getting heavier, just like his breathing.

"You weren't like this when you were little though..." He trailed off as his eyes dropped on Gabe, "It's like he has your looks and Cami's personality."

"We made him, together, didn't we?" I grinned and took my eyes away from my son who was now asleep, "Listen Ames..." I trailed off, the tone of my voice changing.

His gaze shot in my direction immediatly, his eyebrow raised, "Yeah?"

"About Chloe." I paused, being careful to use a low tone, "I don't know what to do for her anymore. I want to help her but I don't know how, everytime we talk we end up fighting or arguing."

"It sounds frustrating." He agreed quietly.

"It is." I sighed, "But maybe she'll listen to you, so please, talk to her and give her the help she needs because I'm lost here."

He nodded slowly, "I'll try."

"I count on it."