in the middle of the night, when the angels scream, I don't want to live a lie, that I believe

in the middle of the night, when the angels scream, I don't want to live a lie, that I believe by sassy

I leaned my head back against the seat of my car, glancing at my watch nervously as I waited for Aria in front of her house in LA. Since I had landed in Chicago and met her at the airport I hadn't spent more than five minutes off of her, not on the flight to Los Angeles, not in the car that had taken us to her place, not even a second since we had closed the door behind us. The last day had passed fast, I was too lost in her and happy to have her back in my arms for good this time, the only time I had given her to herself were the few hours I had left her sleep but still glued to my body. I had wide awake and restless instead, it had been weird for me to spend the night at her home and I had agreed only because that idiot of Gavin was out of town and because I didn't have a home there anymore, but it wasn't just that which made me nervous, I had other reasons too.

"It was about fucking time." I groaned as she finally climbed into the car, after leaving me waiting for at least 15 minutes. On the long list of things that I couldn't handle well there was waiting and being late, which was what we were now.

She glared at me, slamming the door closed a second before I started the engine. "It's not my fault if it took me forever to cover your signs on my neck. Or do you think that your family would love to see how passionate you are about me?" She retorted with a brow raised as she fastened her safety belt.

I groaned again, this time because my mind went back to our night together and I wondered if I had taken it too far, but then again, when it came to Aria I lost all my control. Plus, to be completely honest, I liked marking her body. She was mine, all mine, body and soul. And heart. "I'm not sorry." I said quietly as I moved my eyes to her neck, her skin perfectly pink, and I couldn't help but smile a little. "Good job."

"Be grumpy and I'll make you pay for it." She warned me, the look on her face supposed to be serious, threatening even, but it was just adorable in my opinion.

I glanced at her from the corner of my eye, breaking into a grin eventually. "I'm terrified." I said and tried to relax, the mood around us shifting in a second.

She shrugged and adjusted her body on the seat, crossing her legs, "We'll see when we'll be back and I'll look myself in the bathroom, touching myself and screaming, while you won't be able to do anything about it." She said simply but by the way she was squeezing her thighs together? I knew that with starting that thought she was torturing herself a little too since we were about to have an innocent kind of day.

"Ar." I groaned again as I tore my eyes away from her, staring at the road stubbornly and cursing under my breath for the awful traffic.

She kept quiet but dropped her hand on my leg, running it up and down. I could feel her eyes on me, even if I wasn't looking at her, and I wondered what she was thinking. "It will be okay." She said out of nowhere, surprising me a little. We hadn't even mentioned my family and the fact that we were about to visit my parents and my sisters after I hadn't seen any of them for more than an year, still she knew that the cause of my mood. Sometimes I forgot how good she knew me.

"Yeah." I set my hand on hers and stopped at the red lights, turning my head to smile at her as genuinely as possible. I hated showing how nervous I was, even with Aria, mostly with Aria, it made me feel weak and vulnerable, two things that I never wanted to be. "Come here." I said quietly, waiting for her to lean into me and kissing her quickly before focusing on driving again. "Better." I winked at her, doing my best to keep my feelings in check or at least the bad ones.

"So I was thinking," Aria started and kept both eyes on me, making me nervous again immediately. She was dangerous when she was thinking. "Maybe we should stop at the store to buy your mom flowers?"

"We could have had Erin do that," I replied, back in my LA state of mind which meant no public places. It annoyed me, I hated having to hold myself back with Aria but I hated more how we'd end up on gossip magazines in less than a second, displaying our privacy to the whole world. Of course there was that chance in New York too, but it was so much different, people were different too. Los Angeles was a nightmare to me.

"I'm sure she has plenty to do back in New York while you're away," She grinned, always being the one thinking that I was too hard on my assistant but then again Erin was a hard worker like I was so we were on the same page. "And if you don't want to? You can just say no."

I parted my lips and kept my eyes on the road, sighing instead of speaking. I considered the options, overanalyzing everything as usual. Aria had had a good idea, a really good one, and I felt bad for not thinking about it before, while at the same time I didn't want to expose our relationship. Fuck my life.

"Is that a no?" She asked when I said nothing.

"Tell me where to stop," I replied in a flat tone, keeping my voice smooth and borderline cold to hide how nervous I was. It bugged me that I couldn't be just happy to see my family, that I had lost that closeness I used to have with them, it pissed me off that I didn't even know how that had happened still I was too scared of failing to try fixing that. I missed my sisters, my nieces, my parents, but I never showed it, too proud to even admit that I had weaknesses and big ones too.

"We can stop at the store right by your parents," She replied, still remembering how to get to the big house in the valley.

It was funny how Aria grew up in New York and now she was so obsessed with Los Angeles while I was born and raised in Southern California and loved being basically anywhere but there. I had great memories of my childhood there, but they all ended to the time when I had started acting. It was great at the beginning, then something changed, being with Aria, getting tired of being always under the spotlight, wanting more than the plastic life that Hollywood offered...it all had led me to get far, close myself off, and my family had been trapped in the process. Truth was, when I saw them I felt empty, as if all I was doing with my life didn't matter. Now I had Aria again though, that made things different.

Her eyes moved back to me as I kept quiet. "I love you," Aria said quietly and smiled.

"Thanks," I said simply as her mouth fell open.

"Ass."

I let a grin play on my lips, "What? What did I do?"

She shook her head then rolled her eyes, "I'm in love with the most frustrating man alive."

"Sounds exhausting." I commented as I shot her an amused look, focusing on her and on lightening the mood. As long as I kept all my attention on Aria nothing could go wrong.

She just shrugged, faking nonchalance, "Only in bed." She said and kept a straight face, using her acting skill.

"I'm frustrating in bed now? That's something I never heard." I raised one eyebrow as I kept my eyes on the street even though my mind was already drifting to naughtier places.

"You are when you don't let me come and tease me to death." She answered in a serious tone, her hand dropping down on my thigh and inching dangerously up toward my crotch. How I wished I could just stop the car and take her there, her back on the steering wheel and her legs on my shoulders as I buried my d.ick deep inside of her. The thought alone was making me hard and showing to my parents with a boner wasn't a good idea.

I glanced down at her hand before meeting her eyes again, "Because you don't behave." I said in a warning tone that got her sighing, "And you always come eventually. Hard and long."

"It's impossible to win any argument with you." She pulled away from me, adjusting against the seat instead.

"Were we arguing gorgeous?" I asked as I smirked again, stopping the car in front of the store. I unbuckled my seatbelt and reached for her hand, giving it a tug to pull her closer to me as I stared into her mesmerizing eyes, waiting for her response.

She shook her head and a smile curved her pink lips, looking so peaceful and happy that for a moment I relaxed too. "No, we're just being silly." She paused to press her lips against mine, "I love it."

"I love you." I said instead, still getting used to use the words but knowing when she needed to hear them. It was still hard for me to open up so much, part of me always fought that. It was a never-ending battle between my heart and my brain, story of my life. When she beamed at me and kissed me harder I knew that I was having a good timing, that was enough for me to feel pleased. "Go get the flowers." I ordered in a quiet voice once I pulled back regretfully.

"No." She said stubbornly, getting free of her safety belt and looking at me as I raised one eyebrow. "It's your mom, you should pick them."

I groaned, hating that she was right about it but still not wanting to do such a thing. "I know nothing about flowers, they're all the same for me."

"That's something that should change. Your girlfriend deserve flowers." She crossed her arms against her chest, a small smirk playing on her lips no matter how hard she was trying to hide it.

I groaned again and rolled my eyes, "And chocolates and unicorns? You're not dating the prince charming." I remembered her even though I was deliberately being silly. She knew me perfectly, flaws and all, and still loved me no matter what. I was a very lucky man.

"Right, I'm dating the evil villain instead." She smirked at me while I remembered our last night together in Norway, when I had told her a story about a naughty princess and she had said I was the jester. The night when she had told me she loved me. While at the time I had freaked out now I was glad that she had said the words, because in the end they had been the trigger that had brought us together again.

"Sounds dangerous." I said casually and leaned over to open her door while I kept planted on my seat, "You can't go wrong with roses, right? Thank you." I added with a grin.

Aria narrowed her eyes on me and the cocky grin on my face. The thing that she was able to deal with my cockiness, my occasional attitude, my moods and everything about me made me feel seriously blessed with having her. "Like I said, frustrating," She slipped out of the car and slammed the door shut behind her, lifting the back of her skirt up to flash me her panties.

I groaned, not liking that kind of show no, paparazzi around or not, she was my girlfriend and only mine to see. I still ended up grinning and shaking my head, because her being so playful and sassy always put me in a good mood no matter what. As she disappeared from my sight I left my thoughts slid back to other things, like what I was going to deal with my family in a bunch of minutes. I feared the moment when I'd walk through their door with Aria, but she wasn't the problem, I was the problem. I couldn't picture in my head how they were going to react, how I was going to react, after so long from the last time, and it drove me crazy. I couldn't plan anything, which was usually my way to restrain my control freakness.

"Why'd you get so many flowers?" I asked as she climbed back into the car, holding two bouquets.

She leaned over to plant a kiss on my lips, smiling wide as she pulled back, "Thank you for the flowers baby. It was very thoughtful of you."

I quirked a brow while she put her seat belt back on, "You paid, you should thank yourself instead."

She set the flowers on her lap and held my card up between two of her fingers, leaving me wonder where she had got it. "Do you want your card back now or after I go on a shopping spree? Keep talking and it might be a big shopping spree... a summer wardrobe, lingerie, maybe even a trip to the Bahamas..."

"No, yes, and if that's what you want," I replied and grabbed my card, tossing it into my center console then pulling away from the curb.

"What?"

"No to the new clothes, yes to lingerie, and if you'd prefer the Bahamas over Brazil? Let me know and I'll book it," I said in one long breath, trying to think about her in lingerie or naked on a beach instead of worrying.

She grinned and moved her hand back to my thigh, just as we pulled down my parents street. "Did you like my lingerie?" She asked quietly, studying my face.

I stared at my parents house, wishing I could forget about the day we had planned or just go away, taking care of her, getting lost in her, instead of testing myself with a visit to my family. I was happy about seeing them all, but also really nervous...and glad to have Ar with me, with her attempts to take my mind off of it. "Ar," I cut the engine out in front of the house, glancing sideways at her as she moved her hand to cup my face, turning it in her direction so I could see the encouraging smile on her face.

"They love you and they're proud of you," She told me and pressed a kiss against my lips, wanting another and taking it. My soft lips parted against hers, wanting even more to soothe my anxiety, but she kept it innocent and broke the kiss, "Just remember that I'm there for you and if you want to go for whatever reason? I won't question it... we'll just leave."

I stared at her for a few seconds, in a loss of words. I couldn't think I could love her more, but she always proved me wrong in one way or another, surprising me and allowing me to be weak sometimes because, despite how I didn't show it, I had my weaknesses too. Still, my talking skills weren't as good as hers, so I just kissed her again, softly, carefully, boring my eyes into hers and hoping she'd get what I wanted to say even if I couldn't put it in words. "Thank you babe." I whispered against her mouth before pulling back, "You're the best."

"Oh you're finally admitting it...it was about time!" She said back in a playful voice, kicking me off balance once again and infecting me with her silly mood, forced or not.

I rolled my eyes but grinned, getting out of the car and walking to the other side to open her door, "Your skirt is too short." I pointed out as my eyes dropped on her thighs while she climbed out, holding the flowers against her chest.

"It's my legs that are too long." She retorted in a second, flashing me a big grin as she kept her eyes on me. I rolled my eyes again, slamming the door closed behind her. "Stop doing that."

I did it one last time, smirking myself and grabbing her free hand in mine as we walked to my parents house door. "I'm done." I said and took a deep breath, knowing that the time for being silly was over. I stared in front of me, getting mentally ready as I kept my nerves in check, my face straight and serious while I knocked on the wooden surface.

"Hey." She cut into my thoughts, squeezing my hand to get my attention. "Relax that cute face, I don't want a boyfriend with wrinkles just yet."

I turned my face to hers and smiled like an idiot, amused by her words and her attempt to shake me. I parted my lips, about to tell her that I loved her when the door swung open, my mother appearing and giving me a look I couldn't read. She seemed...happy? Relieved? Something else? I had no idea. "Sebastian," She said simply and cut herself off to pull me into a hug, surprising me and making me feel bad at the same time. I couldn't even remember the last time she had hugged me.

I hugged her back with one arm while I kept my other busy by keeping Ar's hand in mine. "Hi mom." I said quietly as I pulled back and offered a smile.

She smiled back, only wider, squeezing my arm before moving her eyes to Aria. "It's so good to see you again." She smiled at my girlfriend, always a fan of her since the first time the two women met.

"You too Helen." Aria smiled too and gave her the bouquet before she could engulf her too in a hug, while I watched them closely. I was fascinated by how Aria was my exact opposite, warm and relaxed even with my parents, while I was cold and rigid.

"Thanks, they're gorgeous, but you really didn't have too." My mom dipped her nose in the flowers before pushing the door further open for us, "Come inside, your sisters are here already."

"I'm sorry, we're a little late." I said quietly as I followed her with Aria, squeezing her hand even tighter and barely realizing that.

"It's only five minutes," She shook it off with a wave to her hand. "It's nothing. Your father is still watching the game with Jeff if you want to go say hello. Your sisters are helping in the kitchen and the girls are around here somewhere."

"How old are they now?" Ar asked. I thought I knew how old my nieces were, but to be completely honest I wasn't sure. What I knew for sure was that my older sister, Natalie, was 32 and had two gorgeous little girls while Kathleen, who was 30, was on her second marriage. While I was stuck on square one.

"Haylie is about to have her second birthday and Julia is five," My mother smiled, proud of her oldest daughter. Of course. "You should see Julia with her little sister. She's such a good helper."

"I can't believe she's five already," Ar said seriously, while I kept quiet.

I remembered the day she was born, how weird it had been for me to know the news but it had also been electrifying because she was my first niece. Since the first time I had held her in my arms, tiny and gorgeous, I had known that I would have had always a weak spot for this girl. Not that I loved Haylie less, it was just different because I had spent a lot more time with her older sister. That alone let me feel guilty. Aria tilted her head in my direction and smiled as she gave my hand a small squeeze, "Have you met Haylie?"

I nodded, "When she was born." I said simply, guilt growing inside of me since I haven't seen her since.

My mom's smile faltered at my words, making me feel even worse but I knew I deserved what I felt. I had been a good son, a good brother or a good uncle, I failed on all the line. "I should go find them," She said quietly and scanned the room.

"Seb?" A voice broke the silence, Kathleen walking into the room and looking at me with a grin that looked a lot like mine. Smile aside, we looked a lot alike, more than once I had been told I looked like the male version of her and when we were little we were even mistaken as twins. "Wow, you're a man now. Look at that facial hair!" She messed up my hair first and then scratched my scruff, a smile playing on Ar's lips the entire time as she watched my sister torture me. I was used to that though, always being the only boy and the younger one in a house full of girls had got me a lot of pros, but there had been cons too. "And Aria!" Our hands came untangled as she pulled my girlfriend into a hug, one of her arms still around me in what felt like a three way hug. "You should marry this one before you lose her again," She whispered loudly in my ear.

I pulled away and gave her a look, forcing myself not to groan. My sisters liked Aria, and that was an understatement, they had always been on her team from day one and when we had broken up I had got so many lectures from both of them that I had promised to myself not to talk about her with them never again. Still, every time I had seen them, I had noticed their disapproval in my behavior and that had put a wedge between us. I knew that they just wanted was good for me, only I had been to closed up and hurt to listen to them. "Ar's not going anywhere this time." I said quietly and reached for her hand again, squeezing it as I smiled.

My gorgeous girlfriend smiled back at me, nodding her head to agree with me. "Oh I know that look." My sister said mischievously, "He means business."

"We made a deal of not breaking up again." Ar answered as her smile turned into a smirk which showed how happy she was about that. And I was too, really.

"Seb!" Natalie's voice cut in and I glanced over Kathleen's shoulder to see my older sister walking over us, holding a cutie in her arms, "Finally! We thought you'd cancel last minute."

"Thank you for having so much faith in me." I raised one eyebrow even if, really, I couldn't blame her. I had disappeared for longer than a year and only god knew how bad I felt about it. I was looking forward to make up for that though and now that Aria was with me I knew I could do it.

"Always grumpy, uh?" She smirked but used her free arm to pull me into a hug then looked at Ar while I looked at my niece who was hiding. "Thank you for dragging him here."

Ar shrugged as she offered a smile, "It was his idea actually." She explained quietly, always having my back even thought my sister was right. Without Aria I would have kept avoiding something that was so hard for me. Her hand lifted and she rubbed Haylie's back, "Who's this cutie?"

"Hey, stop hiding." Kathleen poked her niece's side as she grinned, always being the playful one between my sisters.

Haylie finally pulled her head back, her big eyes looking so much like her mom's, "Say hi to uncle Sebby and aunt Aria." Natalie told her in a sweet voice while I cringed at the nickname, but got nothing back and the little girl hid again. "She's shy. Like Seb when he was little." She explained.

"Cute." Ar glanced up at me with a silly smirk on her face as she squeezed my hand.

"Mom!!!" A high pitched voice coming from upstairs cut into our conversation, Natalie rolling her eyes immediately.

"I told her so many times not to scream like this, she'll give me a heart attack sooner or later." My sister shook her head but smiled at me, "Go get her, we girls have some catch up to do."

"We'll torture Aria until she'll tell us everything we want to know, since you never say anything." Kathleen winked at me, teasing but pointing out what was true. Again.

I sighed as I let go of her hand regretfully, "Good luck, you need it." I grinned before I headed for the stairs, following Julia's tiny voice which was coming from what once was my room and now it was an explosion of pink and toys.

I stopped in my tracks as I spotted Julia sitting on the floor, surrounded by dolls. Last time I had seen her she was about to turn four, now more than a year had passed and she looked so grown up. I was afraid she wouldn't even recognize me. She sensed my presence and lifted her head up, blinking her eyes at me. "Hi." She said in a cheerful tone.

I studied her as I stepped closer to her, wondering if she had idea of who I was. "Hi." I said carefully, not really knowing what to do at this point. I was bad with adults, let alone with kids.

"Seby!" Her face lit up as soon as she realized that she knew me and she jumped up on her feet, running to me. I swear, my heart stopped. I was missing out so much, too much, I hated myself for letting that happen.

I bent on my knees to level her and smiled, genuinely happy that she hadn't forgotten about me, impressed too. "Hey cutie." I said as she wrapped her tiny arms around my neck and I kissed the top of her head, "You grew up so much."

She nodded as she pulled away, setting her hands on her hips and staring at me. "I'm five." She said proudly.

"Such a big girl." I grinned and when she grabbed my hand I let her lead me to where her toys were. She was so full of energy, so beautiful and so cute, her dimples making her look even more adorable every time she smiled. "What were you doing?" I asked as I sat down on the floor when she did too.

She looked at the dolls in line in front of her, giving me a serious look, "I was teaching them how to read."

At that I couldn't help but laugh. "Do you want to be a teacher now?" I asked, leaning my back against the wall and watching her closely.

"I thought you wanted to be a princess." Ar's voice cut into the conversation and I wondered how long she had been there, her arms crossed and a smile on her face.

Julia's eyes widen as she spotted my girlfriend and before I could introduce one to the other she was already on her feet again, "Aunt Aria!" She said with enthusiasm leaving me...speechless.

"Look at how big you are," Aria said as she wrapped her tiny body up in a hug.

"I'm five now!" She said and Aria laughed, noticing my eyes on them.

I didn't have an explanation for what I was witnessing, but it was obvious that there was something I didn't know. Unless my niece had an incredible memory it was impossible for her to remember Aria from when she was a newborn.

Ar pulled back and smiled, letting her lead her by the hand over to where she had been sitting next to me. "Such a big girl now," She smiled at her then at me while I was trying to figure things out in my head. The more I thought about it the more clueless I was, the more mad and disappointed I got. "What are you reading to your dolls?"

Julia sat down next to me, Ar on her other side. Picking up her book, she shrugged her shoulders, "It's about a princess."

"Like you?" My girlfriend poked her side and caused her to laugh like it tickled her, a small smile curving my lips since hers was so cute and contagious. Ar smiled back at me, but I looked away quickly, staring down at my niece instead.

"I'm not a princess," She shook her head and turned a page, looking only at the pictures. "I'm just a girl. Princesses wear tiaras and live in castles... and they kiss princes."

"Do you want to kiss a prince?" She asked, bothering me even more because Julia was just 5 and there was no need to plant that idea into her head.

"No. Never," She said but blushed.

"I think you do instead," Ar grinned and picked up one of her dolls. "What's his name?"

She sighed and shrugged, "His name is Jared and he's so mean to me!"

"How could someone be mean to such a cutie?" I brought myself back into the conversation, my smile returning to my face while I tried to keep my temper in check. I couldn't get mad in front of my niece, it'd be a waste of the little time we were having together.

"He told me I'm stupid," Julia wrinkled her nose. "He's just a jerk and I hate him."

Ar grinned, struggling not to laugh. Lowering her head towards hers, she lowered her voice, "When I first met your uncle, he was mean to me too," She lied. When we first met we had been pulled together immediately by the crazy attraction between us, which was still there after so many years.

"Aria was mean instead," I corrected her.

Her eyes lifted up to look at me then back at Julia, "I was mean too, but it was because I was already falling for him."

My niece lifted her head up, "Do you love him?"

"More than anything," She said honestly and I believed her. "I always have and I'm always going to."

"Then why don't you two have babies?" She asked like it made no sense to her. "Plus I haven't gone to a wedding for you two. Aunt Kathleen let me throw flowers at hers and wear a princess dress."

"Which wedding? Her first or the most recent one?" I said under my breath, not a fan of husband number one. Being stubborn ran in the family though and my sister had to hit her head hard against a wall before realizing that she had been wrong.

"Julia?" Natalie called from downstairs.

"You better go see what your mom wants," Aria said to her and smiled, watching her stand up and walk towards the door.

She paused in the doorway and looked back at us, "Won't you come with me?"

"In a minute," I said with my serious face back in place since I needed to say a few things to my girlfriend.

Ar managed a smile as Julia left us alone on the floor, "She's so cute. Haylie too."

"She is, Aunt Aria," I said in a stern voice, forcing myself not to let anger get the best of me. "And excited to see you too."

She bit her lip and looked at me finally, "I went to her third birthday party. Your sister invited me."

Her words hit me hard, a mix of emotions rushed through me and I closed my eyes not to show them. I was mad, upset, disappointed...mad. Mostly mad, because it was the feeling I could handle better. Only I couldn't cause a scene while we were at my parents, so I had to keep my anger in check. "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, remembering getting an invitation to that party but never showing up. I was in San Francisco back then, still struggling with my heartache while I worked hard to become the director I wanted to be. If I had known that Ar was there, I would've gone, and maybe it wouldn't have taken so long to get back to her, but the thought was useless now.

"Seb-" She set her hand on my knees and I tensed, turning my head in her direction as I looked into her eyes, cutting her off.

"Why didn't you tell me." I repeated in a tone of forced calm, hoping that she had an answer and a good one too. I might have many flaws, never-ending even, but I never lied and the result was that I expect the other people giving me the same treatment, mostly my girlfriend.

She shrugged and pulled her hand away, breaking eye contact, "It just didn't come up I guess."

"We talked about my family more than once Aria, you better have another answer because this one is fucking lame." I said in a low tone, my jaw set and my blood pumping fast in my veins. Ar could take the best out of me, but the worst too. When she didn't answer and swallowed, her eyes wide and lost, I felt like punching a wall. "What else should I know?" I pressed on, always hating her silences.

"I kept in touch with your sisters, mostly Natalie." She explained quietly, biting down on her lip and giving a sense to everything. It was funny that I had to find out that my once ex had been heard from my family more than me. I didn't feel like laughing though, at all. "You know we've always got along, so when we broke up and she asked me out for lunch I couldn't say no. I didn't want to."

"I don't care about that." I said even though it wasn't exactly true. It hurt me that she was able to keep a relationship with my family while I couldn't, but that was my fault, not hers, and I was smarter than picking on her because of that. I shook my head and run my hands through my hair as I stared in front of me, "If you're still friends with Natalie? Good for you two. It's the lie that I can't stand. If you had told me when we had started seeing each other again I wouldn't have got mad."

"Oh because you always tell me everything, right?" She snapped, surprising me. Then again, I knew that Ar could bear only that little of my attitude before getting on herself.

I looked at her again, glaring, "I do Aria." I said seriously between my clenched teeth.

"You didn't tell me about Mills and Gavin." She retorted as she narrowed her eyes on me.

I groaned even though I wanted to laugh at this point. It was ridiculous. "For a week, because I was waiting for your sister to tell you yourself. One week only, while you waited more than a year before getting caught. It doesn't even compare." I said back and got up, done with the conversation for now.

She looked up at me and blinked, "Do you want to go away."

"No Aria." I said in monotone, my voice and my face giving away nothing even if I was exploding inside.

"Do you want me to go?" She asked as she got up, her own face not showing me her feelings.

I let out what was supposed to be a bitter laugh, but it came out like a snort instead. "No, of course not. We can't talk about this now either, so put on your best smile and come downstairs with me." I said seriously as I stared at her, meaning it and not wanting to hear another word. I could only hope she was wise enough not to argue with me about that.

"I'm sorry," Aria said honestly, and I knew that she meant it but it didn't make any difference since her words couldn't fix that had been ruined.

I scrubbed my hands over my face and I groaned again. Now not only I had to deal with my family, but with her too, it was the last thing I needed. "I don't want to hear it Aria. Not now," I said and walked out of the bedroom, my fingers itching to slam the door shut behind me.

She followed behind me as we walked down the stairs, her far enough from me for anyone who'd look at us to know that something was wrong. I wanted to grab her, force her to explain why the hell she had kept something so big from me, but at the moment I didn't have any choice, all I could do was using my actor skills to put a happy mask on my face.

"Sebastian," My dad smiled as we made our way into the kitchen, extending his hand out. "Your mother told me you were here, but I said I had to see it to believe it." "How are you?" I smiled back at my dad as he pulled me into a hug, both of us awkwardly patting each others backs.

"Good. You've been missed," He got a little choked up and pulled back, moving his eyes to Ar while I let his words made me feel even worse than I was feeling already. "Always nice to see you, Aria."

"You too Mr. Pitt," She smiled and gave him a small hug.

He shook his head and grinned, "Call me Michael."

"No making any moves on Seb's girl," Kathleen joked, carrying a bowl of salad into the kitchen.

He laughed and shook his head, "Your movie was great. Good casting choice."

"Thank you," I said as I sat down at the table, still not looking at Aria. "I thought so also."

"Can you get me James Franco's number?" My sister joked, winking at Ar while she took the seat beside me and when I expected her to slip her hand into mine she didn't and clasped her hands together on her lap instead.

"The ink on your latest marriage license has barely dried and you're already planning your next victim?" My father laughed and took the seat at the head of the table, Natalie walking in with more platters of food in her hands.

She lifted an eyebrow and set them in the center of the table, "What did I miss? My baby sister being slutty again?"

"Language," Mom sighed, carrying a large dish of some sort of meat. She set it down and pressed a kiss against her husband's cheek, the fact that they were still so in love after all those years gave me hope that maybe, working on my personality, on my flaws, and on my attitude, one day I could have that too. With Aria, because I couldn't see myself with anyone else, even right now when I was so mad at her. "You're not a vegetarian, are you Aria? You're so tiny!"

Ar smiled and shook her head, "No. I love meat."

My younger sister reached for the bowl of salad, getting some before passing it to me, her eyes on my girlfriend. "You're in such a good shape, how do you do that? Sport? Diet?" She asked, furrowing her brows and looking really interested.

Natalie cut in the conversation, rolling her eyes and reading my mind, "Kathleen's obsessed, she thinks she's chubby." She sighed while she helped Julia to eat.

I stared at the little girl and focused on her, deciding to ignore my sisters nonsense or Aria's face. She could fool everyone at that table, but not me. I winked at my niece and made her giggle, thinking that so far she had been the best thing of the day and promising to myself I wouldn't let so much time pass before seeing her again.

"It's easy for you, you can eat whatever you want and you're still skinny." Kathleen protested and I cringed, thanking god that Aria wasn't like that. She was still silly, just in another way.

"Try to have two babies and you'll stop needing any diet." Natalie grinned at our sister then at Aria who was eating quietly.

My eyes moved to the empty spot next to her, making me realize that my sister's husband and their daughter were missing. "Where's Jeff?" I asked, changing the topic.

"Upstairs with Haylie, the poor man is the only one who can make her nap without starting a hell on earth." My dad let out a small laugh, shaking his head as he glanced at me. I was so out of their lives, their habits, I felt like an outsider.

"He's a saint for managing three girls at once." Kathleen said casually, but her words didn't go unnoticed.

My mom smiled at dad, her eyes filling with memories I was sure, "We have another saint here then." She said and got nothing but shrug from my dad, who wasn't big on talking about himself or his emotions. That I got from him.

I looked at Aria from the corner of my eye, watching her closely as she ignored me and smiled to the rest of my family. "I can only hope that Caleb is saint material too." Kathleen sighed before her lips turned up in a mischievous grin, which always led to nothing good. "How's Seb?" She asked, looking straight to Aria while I glared at her.

Her body shifted against her seat. "What do you mean?" She retorted, furrowing her brows.

"I don't know if you noticed, but we don't have kids." I said flatly as I tried to save Ar from whatever tricky question my sister wanted her to answer. My private life had to stay private, I didn't like when it was under the spotlight even if it was my family asking. Call it self-defense, but I wasn't willing to give information on something that was so precious to me, something I was working hard on and something that, despite everything, was still so fragile.

"Maybe you left them home." She teased and when I looked up at the ceiling, exasperated already, she smiled at me to let me know she was done.

Mom looked at me, then at Aria, swallowing before parting her lips and I hoped that she wasn't going to drop another bomb kind of question. "I know it's silly but to ask..." She trailed off, looking slightly embarrassed. "Where do you live now?"

With that, my heart sunk, my already weak appetite disappeared and I wished I could just go away. My parents really knew close to nothing about me and now, when I needed Aria the most, we were miles away even if sitting one next to the other. "We'll head back to New York tomorrow." I answered quietly, refusing to add another word and closing off instead. I knew it was the worst thing to do, but I couldn't help it.

Aria looked at me, unable to hide the shock on her face since we hadn't discussed it yet, but I had to go back and I assumed that she'd go with me. From her expression though? I wasn't so sure she would anymore. She broke eye contact with me and stabbed her fork into her salad, choosing to eat instead of talk. Everyone else in the room must have sense the tension between us, or maybe it was all in my head, but we all went on with our meals in silence, minutes feeling like hours.

After maybe five minutes Julia finally spoke up. "What's for dessert?" She asked in a quiet voice and smiled.

We all laughed quietly, mom reaching a hand out to caress her granddaughter's hand. "I made a chocolate cake and we have ice cream in the freezer, but you'll have to ask your mother if you can eat some."

"Everything on your plate has to be gone first," Natalie tapped her daughter's nose as she sighed in frustration.

"But there's so much food still!" She exclaimed and worked on her chicken nuggets, ignoring the small portion of salad and the untouched veggies on the plate, acting like Aria.

Natalie sighed and shook her head, "You need to eat your veggies or you won't get any dessert."

"She's finally asleep," A deep voice cut in and we all looked up to find a very exhausted looking Jeff. He ran a hand through his hair and took the seat by his wife, their daughter's eyes lighting up as she saw him. "Seb! I didn't think you were coming. Good to see you."

"You too," I replied kindly, noticing how older he looked, but also happy.

"Daddy, can I have cake and ice cream?"

"You can," He said as Natalie shot her family a look one at a time. Jeff's eyes widened at the look that went unnoticed, "What did your mother say?"

We all laughed and I was relieved to have the attention off of us.

I noticed Aria glance and me but I decided to ignore her, focusing on my food instead. "Helen, could I help with the dishes?" She asked as my mom stood up and started towards the kitchen.

She shook her head quickly, "Of course not, you're a guest in my house." She took my girlfriend's plate and then mine which had been cleared. "Go relax in the living room and we'll have dessert in a little... when someone in this room finally finishes her veggies," She tossed a wink at Julia who looked like she was experiencing torture.

I pushed my chair back while Ar mimicked me, both of us walking to the living room as Kathleen ate fast to catch up. "If you want me to leave, just tell me now and I'll make up some excuse," Aria said quietly as she sat down on the couch and I took the recliner on the opposite side of the room.

"Do you want to leave?" I asked back as I stared at nothing, wondering if that was just her umpteenth attempt to run away. When things got hard, she ran. Now, I understood that it wasn't an easy situation to handle, but she dragged me there and she wouldn't go anywhere.

"You're not answering." She snapped back, the tone of her voice bitter since she always hated when I did that. We had got better at talking during the last month, but now? It was as if we took a step forward and two backward.

"I already told you Aria, and I hate repeating myself." I said in a tone of forced calm, my anger still there.

Silence fell in the room, my eyes careful not to meet hers because I knew that if they did she'd see a version of me I didn't really like, no matter if I had every reason to be mad at her. "You can't even look at me." She pointed out, as if reading my mind.

I turned my head in her direction and stared at her, my face straight even if it was hard. I couldn't get over her lying to me, it made no sense to me, I didn't understand why she'd possibly do that. I was starting to think that it was someway my fault. "Better?" I asked, having a hard time keeping my gaze on her since I felt as if she could read a lot of things into my eyes right now. I felt exposed.

She bit down on her lip and broke the eye contact as she shook her head, looking as if she was about to start crying. And that would only make things worse.

"Come here." I commanded firmly, knowing that when words failed us, we still had the physical contact to save us. I just wanted her to know that even if we were fighting we were still in this together.

"No." She said quickly, surprising me. And annoying me.

I got up and walked over her, noticing how she was looking at me, wide-eyed...almost scared. I sat next to her as I studied her face, feeling her body tense next to mine. "No? You can't even stay close to me now?" I asked, knowing that I was being an ass but being one anyway.

"Stop it Seb." She muttered under her breath as she looked away, making a point of ignoring me.

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and forced her closer to me as I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "I'm so mad Aria." I said in a low tone.

"I know." She whispered, resisting to my hold, "I'm-"

"Not now." I cut her off, hating that we couldn't talk now. I knew we'd smooth things again, if we had been able to get back together we could get over anything.

She set her hands on my chest and pushed herself up to put more distance between us, "I don't want to go back to New York tomorrow." She said in one breath, dropping another bomb as if we needed that.

"I have to because of work, but you don't have to come with me if you don't want to." I answered as I took my arm away from her, feeling defeated. I had nothing against her staying a few more days in LA if she had her own things to do, it was perfectly fine and normal, but hearing it now in the middle of our fight wasn't exactly reassuring.

Aria parted her lips then reclosed them and looked away, leaving me wondering what she was thinking. At that point though? I was too drained to even care, I just wished I was somewhere else working instead of being stuck in this fight. "It's not that I don't want to come with you," She said and looked at me.

"No?" I lifted an eyebrow, her words not really helping. She had told me less than two weeks before that she'd take a whole year off to stay with me and I doubted that she'd change her mind about it, but I couldn't get rid of that feeling of something being wrong. Maybe it was just that we were really bad at handling our fights, always fixing everything with sex instead. It was easier and more fun too, only there were times like this when fucking her senseless was off the table.

"I wanted to visit Amelia," She said honestly, surprising me since I didn't think she'd gather the courage to do that, but I was glad that she was going to talk to her twin. I was planning on keeping Aria all for myself for a long time, she'd better solve the relationship with Amelia before that.

"Then talk to her," I said and started to stand up, not able to stay there like that a second longer, before she reached for my wrist and I stopped moving. "Aria," I said flatly and looked at her with a blank face. I didn't have much to tell her at the moment, or anything that I could voice while being at my parents house, I just needed this damn day to be over.

"Are we okay?" She asked quietly, the hurt evident in her tone. I didn't like that, even though she had dug her own grave.

"Mom wants to know if you two want any cake and ice cream," Kathleen poked her head into the living room and smiled, eyes bouncing back and forth between us.

I avoided looking at Aria and stared at my sister instead as I shook my head, "No."

"I'm fine, thanks," Ar smiled at her, waiting for her to leave before looking back at me even if my eyes still were where my sister had been standing, "Seb?"

I turned my head in her direction, slowly, the pained look on her face killing me even if she had a reason to be sorry. Still, I loved her and I never wanted her to be hurting. "Ar." I said quietly and forced myself to calm my anger, at least temporarily.

"Are we okay?" She repeated, her words coming out in a whisper as she stared at me with her big bambi eyes.

"I'm not going to leave you, if this is what worries you." I clarified, trying to guess her thoughts since she looked genuinely concerned and I couldn't blame her. In the past every fight had ended in us breaking up or putting some distance between us. Either way, it wasn't good. When she didn't talk and bit down on her lip I freed my wrist from her hold and set my hand on her knee, staring at her. "We're okay."

She broke eye contact in favor of glancing down where my hand was, that little touch alone enough to send electricity between us. It didn't matter in how bad the place we were was, the attraction was always there, even if sex was the last thing I was thinking about now. "I'm sorry." She repeated again and I had to suppress a groan, tired of that word already even if I knew that she meant it. Only, it wasn't enough.

"I know." I said instead, taking a deep breath, "We have a lot of talking to do, I want you to explain to me why you kept something like this from me." I said seriously.

She nodded and if I had to be honest she didn't look too convinced. "Are you still mad, aren't you?" She asked even though she knew the answer already. I had a bad temper, that was no mystery.

"Yes Aria." I said seriously as I got up, grabbing her hand and forcing her to follow me. As soon as she was back on her feet I pulled her against me with no kindness, my hand cupping her jaw carefully and a second later I planted a kiss on her lips before pulling away. I didn't care if it was wrong, but I thought that we both needed that kind of reassurance. "I need some time to get over it, but I will. Do you want to go?"

"No," Aria said honestly, looking as if her brain was really busy thinking only god knew what. I, on the other side, didn't know what to think anymore, but I was sure I was pretty close to go crazy with all those things to handle. "I ruined your night and I feel bad about that, but I don't want to leave yet."

I studied her expression, trying to figure out where her mind was since not even an hour ago, she was ready to walk out on dinner. I was hopeless though, the only thing I could guess was that maybe she was finally realizing that she needed to sop running if she wanted us to work. "Why not?" I asked.

"Because look at how excited they were to see you. I'm not going to ruin everyone's night," She said quietly, having a point there. If we went away now? I'd probably let other four years pass before visiting again. "I love you Seb and I would do literally anything for you."

I let out a sigh before scrubbing my hands over my face, giving her a tired expression. What she was saying was going straight to my heart and I knew she meant it, only I wished she would have been so wise one year before to prevent this disaster. When I said nothing, she gave me a small smile, "I know."

I lifted an eyebrow and parted my lips slowly, "You know what?"

"That you love me, but you're too mad at me to say it right now," She said back. "I understand."