6.14.2013

I can feel the madness inch by inch.

I can feel the madness inch by inch.

I can feel the madness inch by inch. by pinklipstiiick featuring a gray shirt


"It was about fucking time," Seb groaned as I finally climbed into the car, having only left him waiting for ten minutes tops. His head was leaning back against his seat and his eyes were on his watch, impatient as always. Okay, maybe I took fifteen minutes, but still.

I glared at my grouchy boyfriend, slamming the door closed a second before he started the engine. "It's not my fault if it took me forever to cover your signs on my neck. Or do you think that your family would love to see how passionate you are about me?" I retorted with an eyebrow raised as I fastened my safety belt.

He groaned again, this time surely thinking about last night and how we always lost control when we were together. From the moment he had landed in Chicago and met me at the airport, we'd spent all of our time together. All over each other on the flight to Los Angeles, in the cab back to my place, and we didn't even wait a second after closing the door behind us before getting naked and down to business. Our first day together went by much too fast, too lost in each other and being happy to be back in one anothers arms, I was doing a great job at distracting him from what we had planned today. "I'm not sorry," He said quietly as he moved his eyes to my neck, my skin perfectly pink, and he couldn't help but smile a little. "Good job."

"Be grumpy and I'll make you pay for it," I warned him, the look on my face supposed to be a mix between serious and threatening.

He glanced at me from the corner of his eye, breaking into a grin eventually. "I'm terrified," He said and tried to relax, the mood around us shifting in a second.

I shrugged and adjusted my body on the seat, crossing my legs, "We'll see when we'll be back and I'll look myself in the bathroom, touching myself and screaming, while you won't be able to do anything about it," I said simply, squeezing my thighs together since the thought alone drove me a little crazy.

"Ar," He groaned again as he tore his eyes away from me, staring at the road stubbornly and cursing under his breath for the awful traffic. It was what Los Angeles was best known for, celebrities and Hollywood aside.

I kept quiet but dropped my hand on his leg, running it up and down. My eyes studied his expression, leaving me wondering what he was thinking and if he was nervous about seeing his family. "It will be okay," I said out of nowhere. We hadn't even mentioned his family and the fact that we were about to visit his parents and his sisters after so long, I knew how it was eating up his nerves.

"Yeah," He set his hand on mine and stopped at the red lights, turning his head to smile at me as genuinely as possible. "Come here," He said quietly, waiting for me to lean into him and kissing me quickly before focusing on driving again. "Better," He winked at me, doing his best to keep his feelings in check or at least hiding them from me perfectly.

"So I was thinking," I started and kept both eyes on him, "Maybe we should stop at the store to buy your mom flowers?"

"We could have had Erin do that," He replied, back in his LA state of mind which meant no public places. It made me miss New York instantly and the way we were so carefree with our love, kissing in public and cuddling in the park. Of course New York was a big city and there were still paparazzi, but it didn't even compare to LA.

"I'm sure she has plenty to do back in New York while you're away," I grinned, imagining her laying out by the pool instead and drinking a few margaritas, enjoying her little Seb-free vacation. She wasn't a slacker and took her job more serious than anyone I knew, but she was only human... and Seb was a tough man to work for. "And if you don't want to? You can just say no."

He parted his lips and kept his eyes on the road, sighing instead of speaking.

"Is that a no?" I asked when he said nothing.

"Tell me where to stop," He replied in a flat tone, nerves showing on his face while his voice gave nothing away. It made me feel bad seeing him like this, especially when it had been me urging him to visit his family. The relationship I had with my own family wasn't great, but his? It was pretty nonexistent. His sisters missed him, his nieces could barely remember his face, and I couldn't even imagine how hard it was on his parents.

"We can stop at the store right by your parents," I replied, still remembering how to get to the big house in the valley. Unlike me who grew up in New York, Seb was born and raised in Southern California. I always wondered if it was the childhood memories that played a part to him not wanting to live here... his parents were great though, his sisters were still considered friends to me in my book, I couldn't imagine how he'd be able to so easily lose contact with any of them.

My eyes moved back to him as he kept quiet, looking deep in a thought when really, he was probably just struggling to show no emotion. "I love you," I said quietly and smiled.

"Thanks," He said simply as my mouth fell open.

"Ass."

He let a grin play on his lips, "What? What did I do?"

I shook my head then rolled my eyes, "I'm in love with the most frustrating man alive."
"Sounds exhausting," He commented as he shot me an amused look, focusing on lightening the mood.

I just shrugged, faking nonchalance, "Only in bed."

"I'm frustrating in bed now? That's something I never heard," He raised one eyebrow as he kept his eyes on the street even though his mind had to be drifting to naughtier places. Mine was.

"You are when you don't let me come and tease me to death," I answered in a serious tone, my hand dropping down on his thigh and inching dangerously up toward his crotch. I was imagining my back pressed up against the steering wheel and my legs on his shoulders, his dick buried deep inside of me. My eyes flicked down to the erection forming in his pants, leaving an ache burning between my legs.

Seb glanced down at my hand before meeting my eyes again, "Because you don't behave." He said in a warning tone that got me sighing, it was the same tone he used when telling me exactly how he wanted me. "And you always come eventually. Hard and long."

"It's impossible to win any argument with you," I pulled away from him, adjusting against the seat instead.

"Were we arguing gorgeous?" He asked as he smirked again, stopping the car in front of the store. He unbuckled his seat belt and reached for my hand, giving it a tug to pull me closer to him as he stared into my eyes, waiting for my response.

I shook my head and a smile curved my pink lips, "No, we're just being silly." I paused to press my lips against his, loving the way they felt so soft against mine, "I love it."

"I love you," He said instead, leaving me beaming at him like an idiot. Those simple three words made me melt every time, the idea of forever with this amazing man making me feel unbelievably happy. I kissed him harder, lost in the moment and my happiness. "Go get the flowers," He ordered in a quiet voice once he pulled back regretfully.

"No," I said stubbornly, getting free of my safety belt and looking at him as he raised one eyebrow. "It's your mom, you should pick them."

He groaned, hating that I was right as always, "I know nothing about flowers, they're all the same for me."

"That's something that should change. Your girlfriend deserve flowers," I crossed my arms against my chest, a small smirk playing on my lips no matter how hard I was trying to hide it.

He groaned again and rolled his eyes, "And chocolates and unicorns? You're not dating the prince charming."

I knew him perfectly, flaws and all, and still loved him no matter what. He wasn't a prince, but he was my happy ending. "Right, I'm dating the evil villan instead," I smirked at him, remembering our last night together in Norway, when he had told me a story about a naughty princess and her jester. That was the night when I had told him I loved him, the same night I decided I had to either move on or be with him completely. It caused me to lose him, but in the end it had been the trigger that had brought us together again. I was a smart girl after all.

"Sounds dangerous," He said casually and leaned over to open my door while he kept his perfect ass planted in his seat, "You can't go wrong with roses, right? Thank you," He added with a grin.

I narrowed my eyes on him and the cocky grin on his handsome face. I swear, the things I did for this man. "Like I said, frustrating," I slipped out of the car and slammed the door shut behind me, lifting the back of my skirt up to flash him my panties. There wasn't a paparazzi in sight, but I knew my boyfriend well enough that he'd be groaning inside of that car right about now. With a grin on my face, I looked back at him and saw him shaking his head at me but still grinning. I walked into the store, my phone vibrating inside of my purse as I chose two bouquets of mixed flowers and took them up to the counter. I fished the phone out of my purse and read the text from Seb's oldest sister, her checking to see if we were still coming. I sent a text back as my purchase got rung up, handing over the card I'd snatched from Seb's wallet when he wasn't paying attention and then heading back out to the car. He had no idea I still spoke to either of his sisters, the fact that I knew he'd find out soon? It made me a little nervous. There wasn't anything necessarily wrong with it, but I had the feeling he wouldn't be too happy.

"Why'd you get so many flowers?" He asked as I climbed back into the car.

I leaned over to plant a kiss on his lips, smiling wide as I pulled back, "Thank you for the flowers baby. It was very thoughtful of you."

He quirked a brow while I put my seat belt back on, "You paid, you should thank yourself instead."

I set the flowers on my lap and held his card up between two of my fingers, "Do you want your card back now or after I go on a shopping spree? Keep talking and it might be a big shopping spree... a summer wardrobe, lingerie, maybe even a trip to the Bahamas..."

"No, yes, and if that's what you want," He replied and grabbed his card, tossing it into his center console then pulling away from the curb.

"What?"

"No to the new clothes, yes to lingerie, and if you'd prefer the Bahamas over Brazil? Let me know and I'll book it," He said in one long breath, my mind still stuck on the word lingerie since he had that effect on me.

I grinned and moved my hand back to his thigh, just as we pulled down his parents street. "Did you like my lingerie?" I asked quietly, noticing the look on his face which was a mix of emotions. He wanted to forget the day we had planned, but it was hanging over his head and making him nervous. Despite my attempts to take his mind off of it, it seemed pointless since no matter what, we'd be inside of his parents house in less than five minutes.

"Ar," He cut the engine out in front of the house, glancing sideways at me as I moved my hand to cup his face, turning it in my direction so he could see the encouraging smile on my face.

"They love you and they're proud of you," I told him and pressed a kiss against his lips, wanting another and taking it. His soft lips parted against mine, but I kept it innocent and broke the kiss, "Just remember that I'm there for you and if you want to go for whatever reason? I won't question it... we'll just leave."

He stared at me for a few seconds, looking a little taken aback but I saw admiration on his face at the same time, knowing I'd said exactly the right thing. Instead of responding with words, he kissed me again, softly, carefully, boring his eyes into mine. It was his way of letting me know he loved me, and I knew it. I was good with words, Seb with his actions. We were complete opposites, but we worked. "Thank you babe," He whispered against my mouth before pulling back, "You're the best."

"Oh you're finally admitting it...it was about time!" I said back in a playful voice, kicking him off balance once again and contaging him with my silly mood, forced or not.

He rolled his eyes but grinned, getting out of the car and walking to the other side to open my door. "Your skirt is too short," He pointed out as his eyes dropped on my thighs while I climbed out, holding the flowers against my chest.

"It's my legs that are too long," I retorted, flashing him a big grin as I kept my eyes on him. He rolled his eyes again, slamming the door closed behind me. "Stop doing that."

He did it one last time, smirking to himself and grabbing my free hand in his as we walked to his parents house door. "I'm done," He said and took a deep breath, knowing that the time for being silly was over. He stared at the door, his gorgeous face straight and serious while he knocked on the wooden surface.

"Hey," I cut into his thoughts, squeezing his hand to get his attention. "Relax that cute face, I don't want a boyfriend with wrinkles just yet."

He turned to face me and smiled genuinely, amused by my words and my constant attempts to shake him. He parted his lips, about to speak when the door swung open, his mother appearing and giving him a look even I couldn't read. She seemed...happy and maybe surprised that he actually showed up.

"Sebastian," She said simply and cut herself off to pull him into a hug.

He hugged her back with one arm while he kept the other busy with mine. "Hi mom," He said quietly as he pulled back and offered a smile.

She smiled back, only wider, squeezing his arm before moving her eyes to me. "It's so good to see you again," She smiled at me, always nice to me since the first time we had met.

"You too Helen," I smiled too and gave her the bouquet before she could engulf me in a hug.

"Thanks, they're gorgeous, but you really didn't have too," His mom dipped her nose in the flowers before pushing the door further open for us, "Come inside, your sisters are here already."

"I'm sorry, we're a little late," Seb said quietly as we followed her into the house, squeezing my hand even tighter without realizing it.

"It's only five minutes," She shook it off with a wave to her hand. "It's nothing. Your father is still watching the game with Jeff if you want to go say hello. Your sisters are helping in the kitchen and the girls are around here somewhere."

"How old are they now?" I asked, knowing that Seb wouldn't but he was probably curious. Natalie had just turned 32, had two daughters already while Kathleen was 30 years old and already on her second marriage.

"Haylie is about to have her second birthday and Julia is five," Helen smiled, proud of her oldest daughter. Of course she was proud of all her children, but her love for her grand kids always showed. "You should see Julia with her little sister. She's such a good helper."

"I can't believe she's five already," I said seriously, remembering when she was born. I went to her third birthday, back when Sebastian was living in San Francisco. It was a princess theme party and the entire time I kept thinking about how he'd hate it... pink everywhere. I tilted my head in his direction and smiled as I gave his hand a small squeeze, "Have you met Haylie?"

He nodded, "When she was born."

His moms smile faltered at his words, I tried keeping mine in place but it was hard. My family was far from perfect, but seeing how separated he was from his own? It made me want to reach out to my mom and Mills. "I should go find them," She said quietly and scanned the room.

"Seb?" A voice broke the silence, Kathleen walking into the room and looking so much like a female version of my boyfriend it was a little freaky. She was stunning, the genes in their family so striking I was a little envious. They could all be models, Helen and Steve included. "Wow, you're a man now. Look at that facial hair!" She messed up his hair first and then scratched his scruff, a smile playing on my lips the entire time since he had to be hating every minute of his sisters torture. "And Aria!" Our hands came untangled as she pulled me into a hug, one of her arms still around Seb in what felt like a three way hug. "You should marry this one before you lose her again," She whispered loudly in his ear. He had to hate that too.

He pulled away and gave his sister a look, probably forcing himself not to groan since marriage was a big no no to him. I didn't even question it anymore, either we'd end up married one day with a big family, or we'd spend the rest of our life together traveling the world. The only thing that mattered to me was that we'd be together. "Ar's not going anywhere this time," He said quietly and reached for my hand again, squeezing it as he smiled.

I smiled back at him, nodding my head to agree with him.

"Oh I know that look," His sister said mischievously, "He means business."

"We made a deal of not breaking up again," I answered as my smile turned into a smirk which showed how happy I was about that.

"Seb!" Natalie's voice cut in and we both glanced over Kathleen's shoulder to see their older sister walking over to us, a cutie in her arms, "Finally! We thought you'd cancel last minute."

"Thank you for having so much faith in me," He raised one eyebrow even if, really, I couldn't blame her. Half of me was expecting him to cancel... but it was his idea to come in the first place.

"Always grumpy, uh?" She smirked but used her free arm to pull him into a hug then looked at me. "Thank you for dragging him here."

I shrugged as I offered a smile, "It was his idea actually." My hand lifted and I rubbed Haylie's back, her face hidden against her moms body, "Who's this cutie?"

"Hey, stop hiding," Kathleen poked her niece's side as she grinned, always being the playful one between Seb's sisters.

Haylie finally pulled her head back, her big eyes looking so much like her mom's. She was gorgeous, but then again, weren't all of the Pitt's? "Say hi to uncle Sebby and aunt Aria," Natalie told her in a sweet voice while I noticed Seb cringing at the nickname. We got nothing back and the little girl hid again. "She's shy. Like Seb when he was little," She explained.

"Cute," I glanced up at my boyfriend with a smirk on my face as I squeezed his hand and tried to imagine him as a little boy.

"Mom!!!" A high pitched voice coming from upstairs cut into our conversation, Natalie rolling her eyes immediately.

"I told her so many times not to scream like this, she'll give me a heart attack sooner or later," She shook her head but smiled at Seb, "Go get her, we girls have some catching up to do."

"We'll torture Aria until she'll tell us everything we want to know, since you never say anything," Kathleen winked at him, teasing but pointing out what was true.

He sighed as he let go of my hand regretfully, "Good luck, you need it." He grinned before heading for the stairs, following Julia's tiny voice as all of the girls turned to look at me, knowing looks on their pretty faces. Much like their brother, they meant business too.

"When are you two planning on having little ones of your own?" Kathleen asked and winked, knowing her brother and how the idea sounded as impossible as me growing breasts over night.

Natalie rolled her eyes and nudged her sisters side, "You should talk. You've been married what, three times now, and still no babies!"

"Twice," She corrected her and kept grinning. Holding her hand out, she revealed a huge rock on her ring finger, "He's a lawyer and I think a keeper."

"You think?" I grinned back, taking her hand in mine to look at the impressive ring. I only felt a small stab of jealousy, knowing my own finger might never have a wedding ring on it. All materialistic, I told myself. "It's stunning," I said honestly and let go of her hand.

"You're next missy," She said back while her older sister sighed.

"There's no rush."

Kathleen lifted an eyebrow, "Says the one who already has two little cuties and is expecting another."

My eyes widened and I looked at her belly, "Really? Congratulations!"

Her mouth was slightly open, "I haven't told anyone yet... my sister just has a big mouth." She cut her a glare before looking at me again and smiling, "You look great... And I couldn't tell you the last time Seb looked so happy!"

"Christmas when he was five and mom got him a Nintendo," Kathleen said seriously, breaking into a laugh as her sisters elbow hit her side again. "What? I'm serious! Have you ever Googled him?! Grumpy faces always."

"You Google your brother?" I grinned at her, curious what she found since I tried once and gave up almost immediately. I found nothing but websites about movies he'd done... if I wanted to know about his career? I'd look at his IMDB page instead.

"Yes! And let me tell you, either he has no life and is really boring, or he's like Christan Grey and -"

"Can we please not compare our little brother to a man who gets off on spanking girls?" Natalie cut her off, it taking everything in me not to laugh and tell them Seb's hand print was currently still fresh on my own booty.

"I'm going to go check on him," I smiled at the two of them who only nodded, getting right back to their discussion about sex. Perfect time to leave, they'd die if they heard even half of the things I let their baby brother do to me.

I walked up the stairs, finding Seb's old room easily and leaning against the door as I watched him sitting beside her on the floor. The whole room was an explosion of pink and toys, a line of dolls in front of her and a serious look on her face. "I was teaching them how to read," She told him, getting a laugh out of him in return. I felt a smile on my own lips, seeing how he genuinely missed his niece and looked so calm beside her.

"Do you want to be a teacher now?" He asked, leaning his back against the wall and watching her closely.

"I thought you wanted to be a princess," My voice cut into the conversation as Seb looked up at me in the doorway. My arms were crossed over my chest and a smile still playing on my face.

Julia's eyes widen as she spotted me, jumping onto her feet as she sprung in my direction, "Aunt Aria!"

"Look at how big you are," I said as I wrapped her tiny body up in a hug.

"I'm five now!" She said and I laughed, noticing Seb's eyes on us. I couldn't be certain, but I don't know, somehow he knew. I hadn't lied to him exactly, I just hadn't told him that I never lost contact with Natalie. When we broke up and everything in my life was changing for the worst, I felt alone. I couldn't talk to Gavin about Seb, me and Mills weren't speaking, and my dad gave good advice only when it came to my career. So when Natalie called to ask if I'd meet her for lunch? I didn't say no.

I pulled back and smiled, letting her lead me by the hand over to where she had been sitting next to Seb. "Such a big girl now," I smiled at her then at my boyfriend who looked like he was trying to figure things out in his head. His niece was still a baby when we were together, it'd make no sense for her to remember me unless she was a baby genius. She was a smart girl of course, but I wasn't fooling anyone. He knew. "What are you reading to your dolls?"

She sat down next to Seb, me on her other side. Picking up her book, she shrugged her shoulders, "It's about a princess."

"Like you?" I poked her side and caused her to laugh like it tickled her. Her smile was so contagious, a small smile even working its way onto Seb's soft lips. I smiled back at him, but he looked away quickly, staring down at his niece instead.

"I'm not a princess," She shook her head and turned a page, looking only at the pictures. "I'm just a girl. Princesses wear tiaras and live in castles... and they kiss princes."

"Do you want to kiss a prince?" I asked, knowing her uncle wouldn't approve of my question.

"No. Never," She said but blushed.

"I think you do instead," I grinned and picked up one of her dolls. "What's his name?"

She sighed and shrugged, "His name is Jared and he's so mean to me!"

"How could someone be mean to such a cutie?" Seb brought himself back into the conversation, his smile returning to his face and kind of reassuring me. After everything with Mills and Gav, the last thing I wanted was for him to be mad at me. Los Angeles was going to be very lonely if we were fighting.

"He told me I'm stupid," She wrinkled her nose. "He's just a jerk and I hate him."

I grinned, struggling not to laugh. Lowering my head towards hers, I lowered my voice, "When I first met your uncle, he was mean to me too," I lied. The attraction when I first met Seb was there, so strong I knew I held no chance.

"Aria was mean instead," He corrected me.

My eyes lifted up to look at him then back at Julia, "I was mean too, but it was because I was already falling for him."

She lifted her head up, "Do you love him?"

"More than anything," I said honestly. "I always have and I'm always going to."

"Then why don't you two have babies?" She asked like it made no sense to her. "Plus I haven't gone to a wedding for you two. Aunt Kathleen let me throw flowers at hers and wear a princess dress."

"Which wedding? Her first or the most recent one?" Seb said under his breath.

"Julia?" Natalie called from downstairs.

"You better go see what your mom wants," I said to her and smiled, watching her stand up and walk towards the door.

She paused in the doorway and looked back at us, "Won't you come with me?"

"In a minute," Seb said with his serious face back in place.

I managed a smile as she left us alone on the floor, "She's so cute. Haylie too."

"She is, Aunt Aria," He said in a stern voice, his eyes on me and my heart momentarily stopping. "And excited to see you too."

I bit my lip and looked at him finally, "I went to her third birthday party. Your sister invited me." I knew he wouldn't be there while at the time, a huge part of me wished he would be. I never got over Seb, no matter how hard I tried. I always told myself that that's why I kept his sister in my life, to keep whatever small part of him close to me... but I think it was more than that. She was a good friend and I'd already lost him, I was greedy and I didn't want to lose her too.

He stared at nothing for what felt like an eternity, anger coating his face as I felt my chest tighten. He was pissed... this was exactly why I put off telling him this. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asked finally.

"Seb-" I set my hand on his knees and he tensed, turning his head in my direction as he looked into my eyes, cutting me off.

"Why didn't you tell me," He repeated in a tone of forced calm. His face though, he couldn't hide his true feelings.

I shrugged and pulled my hand away, breaking eye contact, "It just didn't come up I guess."

"We talked about my family more than once Aria, you better have another answer because this one is fucking lame," He said in a low tone, his jaw set and his face turning red. I could take the best out of him, but the worst too obviously. When I didn't answer and swallowed, he pressed on, "What else should I know?"

"I kept in touch with your sisters, mostly Natalie," I explained quietly, biting down on my lip since I knew that there was no way to dig myself out of this one. I lied to him... and not just that, but for an entire year. There were dozens of times I could have brought it up, but I chose not to. "You know we've always got along, so when we broke up and she asked me out for lunch I couldn't say no. I didn't want to."

"I don't care about that." He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair as he stared in front of him, the fact that he wouldn't look at me? It killed me. "If you're still friends with Natalie? Good for you two. It's the lie that I can't stand. If you had told me when we had started seeing each other again I wouldn't have got mad."

"Oh because you always tell me everything, right?" I snapped, hating how he was talking to me, mostly when he'd done the same thing not more than a week ago.

He looked at me again, glaring. "I do Aria," He said seriously between clenched teeth.

"You didn't tell me about Mills and Gavin," I retorted as I narrowed my eyes on him.

He groaned, looking slightly delirious for a second. I was frustrating him, making him lose his mind... and for what? His sister liking me? It wasn't even worth it. "For a week, because I was waiting for your sister to tell you yourself. One week only, while you waited more than a year before getting caught. It doesn't even compare," He said back and got up, done with the conversation for now.

I looked up at him and blinked, "Do you want to go away?"

"No Aria," He said in monotone, his voice and his face giving away nothing.

"Do you want me to go?" I asked as I got up, my own face not showing my feelings since I felt a mix of them. The thing was, I knew I messed up and I wasn't denying it... but his anger and the way he kept cussing at me? It hurt.

He let out a snort, "No, of course not. We can't talk about this now either, so put on your best smile and come downstairs with me," He said seriously as he stared at me, leaving me without any other option.

"I'm sorry," I said honestly, knowing my words couldn't go back and fix what I'd done, but they were genuine and they had to count for something.

He scrubbed his hands over his face and I could have sworn I heard him groan again. "I don't want to hear it Aria. Not now," He said and walked out of the bedroom, his fingers probably itching to slam the door shut behind him and in my face.

I followed behind him, hating myself a little for what felt like a million reasons. We walked down the stairs, me keeping enough distance behind him that anyone who looked at us could easily tell our moods had shifted. I was an actress and could hide my emotions thankfully, but at the moment I didn't even feel like letting him touch me.

"Sebastian," His dad smiled as we made our way into the kitchen, extending his hand out. "Your mother told me you were here, but I said I had to see it to believe it."

"How are you?" Seb smiled back at his dad as he pulled him into a hug, both men awkwardly patting each others backs.

"Good. You've been missed," He got a little choked up and pulled back, moving his eyes to me. "Always nice to see you, Aria."

"You too Mr. Pitt," I smiled and gave him a small hug.

He shook his head and grinned, "Call me Michael."

"No making any moves on Seb's girl," Kathleen joked, carrying a bowl of salad into the kitchen.

He laughed and shook his head, "Your movie was great. Good casting choice."

"Thank you," Seb said as he sat down at the table, still not looking at me. "I thought so also."

"Can you get me James Franco's number?" His sister joked, winking at me while I took the seat beside Seb about to slip my hand into his before thinking better of it and clasping my hands together on my lap.

"The ink on your latest marriage license has barely dried and you're already planning your next victim?" Michael laughed and took the seat at the head of the table, Natalie walking in with more platters of food in her hands.

She lifted an eyebrow and set them in the center of the table, "What did I miss? My baby sister being slutty again?"

"Language," Helen sighed, carrying a large dish of some sort of meat. She set it down and pressed a kiss against her husbands cheek, the fact that they were still so in love after all those years gave me hope. My parents fought a lot, throughout most of my childhood, it was why it was so easy for me to argue back with Seb constantly instead of trying to make things right. "You're not a vegetarian, are you Aria? You're so tiny!"

I smiled and shook my head, "No. I love meat."

Kathleen reached for the bowl of salad, getting some before passing it to Seb, her eyes on me. "You're in such a good shape, how do you do that? Sport? Diet?" She asked, furrowing her eyebrows and looking really interested.

Natalie cut into the conversation, rolling her eyes, "Kathleen's obsessed, she thinks she's chubby," She sighed while she helped Julia to eat.

My eyes moved to Seb's as he winked at his niece, making her giggle. At least one good thing had come out of this, since I knew the night was going to result in us fighting for the remainder of it.

"It's easy for you, you can eat whatever you want and you're still skinny," Kathleen protested while I silently thanked my good genes and fast metabolism.

"Try to have two babies and you'll stop needing any diet," Natalie grinned at her sister then at me while I ate quietly.

"Where's Jeff?" Seb asked, changing the topic.

"Upstairs with Haylie, the poor man is the only one who can make her nap without starting a hell on earth," Their dad let out a small laugh, shaking his head as he glanced at his son. Seb was so out of their lives, their habits, he was like an outsider.

"He's a saint for managing three girls at once," Kathleen said casually.

Helen smiled at her husband, her eyes filling with memories I was sure. All of her kids were grown up now, starting their own families or in Seb's case, starting a life of his own. "We have another saint here then," She said and got nothing but shrug from Michael, who wasn't big on talking about himself or his emotions. Seb took after him in that sense.

I smiled to the rest of his family, choosing to ignore him even though I felt his gaze on me. "I can only hope that Caleb is saint material too," Kathleen sighed before her lips turned up in a mischievous grin. "How's Seb?" She asked, looking straight at me. I felt put on the spot since usually I'd praise my boyfriend, but right now? I felt so much emotions, I wanted to crawl into my own bed and just sleep for a week.

My body shifted against my seat, uncomfortably might I add. "What do you mean?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

"I don't know if you noticed, but we don't have kids," He said flatly, sounding like a huge grump. He didn't understand that they were only curious how he was doing, how his life was going. He thought that every one wanted to pick into his personal life... sometimes he was so paranoid, even when it wasn't necessary.

"Maybe you left them home," She teased and he looked up at the ceiling, exasperated already. It really didn't take much.

Helen looked at her son, then at me, swallowing before parting her lips. I found myself holding my breath, afraid of what she might ask. "I know it's silly but to ask..." She trailed off, looking slightly embarrassed. "Where do you live now?"

"We'll head back to New York tomorrow," He answered quietly, refusing to add another word and closing off instead.

I looked at him, unable to hide the shock on my face since we hadn't discussed it yet he seemed to have everything already planned out. I shouldn't have been surprised, that was Sebastian, always a step ahead of me. Maybe it was the fact that we were fighting, but all I knew was that I wasn't ready to go back to New York tomorrow. I broke eye contact with him and stabbed my fork into my salad, choosing to eat instead of talk. Everyone else in the room must have sense the tension between us, or maybe I was really good at hiding it, but we all went on with our meals. In silence.

It seemed like half an hour had passed before Julia finally spoke up. Really, it had probably been five minutes, but it felt like an eternity. "What's for dessert?" She asked in a quiet voice and smiled.

We all laughed quietly, Helen reaching a hand out to caress her granddaughters hand. "I made a chocolate cake and we have ice cream in the freezer, but you'll have to ask your mother if you can eat some."

"Everything on your plate has to be gone first," Natalie tapped her daughters nose as she sighed in frustration.

"But there's so much food still!" She exclaimed and worked on her chicken nuggets, ignoring the small portion of salad. There were also untouched veggies on the plate, a girl after my own heart.

Natalie sighed and shook her head, "You need to eat your veggies or you won't get any dessert."

"She's finally asleep," A deep voice cut in and we all looked up to find a very exhausted looking Jeff. He ran a hand through his hair and took the seat by his wife, their daughters eyes lighting up as she saw him. "Seb! I didn't think you were coming. Good to see you."

"You too," My boyfriend replied kindly.

"Daddy, can I have cake and ice cream?"

"You can," He said as Natalie shot her family a look one at a time. Jeff's eyes widened at the look that went unnoticed, "What did your mother say?"

We all laughed, Seb probably relieved to have the attention off of us. I glanced sideways to smile at him but noticed the way he looked so focused on his food that I returned back to my own plate to finish off the chicken on it. "Helen, could I help with the dishes?" I asked as she stood up and started towards the kitchen.

She shook her head quickly, "Of course not, you're a guest in my house." She took my plate and then Seb's which had been cleared. "Go relax in the living room and we'll have dessert in a little... when someone in this room finally finishes her veggies," She tossed a wink at Julia who looked like she was experiencing torture. I'd tried cauliflower once and honestly, I couldn't blame her. Veggies couldn't compete with chocolate cake and ice cream.

Seb pushed his chair back while I mimicked him, both of us walking to the living room as Kathleen ate fast to catch up. "If you want me to leave, just tell me now and I'll make up some excuse," I said quietly as we sat down on the couch. Okay, I sat down on the couch and he took the recliner. It was on the opposite side of the room as me.

"Do you want to leave?" He asked back as he stared at nothing.

"You're not answering," I snapped back, the tone of my voice bitter since I always hated when he answered with another question. It wasn't even answering anything at all. We had gotten better at talking during the last month, but now? It was as if we took a step forward and two backward.

"I already told you Aria, and I hate repeating myself," He said in a tone of forced calm, his anger still there. Silence fell in the room, his eyes careful not to meet mine and not helping very much.

"You can't even look at me," I pointed out, wondering what was on his mind. I understood that he was mad at me, I even knew he had a valid reason for it... I just didn't handle this sort of thing well. I ran from my problems. I needed to work on that and I knew it, but he made it so easy. 

Seb turned his head in my direction and stared at me, his face straight even if it was hard, "Better?"

I bit down on my lip and broke the eye contact as I shook my head, frustrated as hell and promising myself not to make the night even worse by crying.

"Come here," He commanded firmly, physical attraction always being our savior. 

"No," I said quickly, seeing the surprise on his handsome face. And annoyed. He looked beyond annoyed.

He got up and walked over to me, staring at me finally and he looked so angry it hurt my heart knowing that I'd put him in that mood, ruined his entire night and family reunion. Sitting next to me, he studied my face while my body tensed next to his. "No? You can't even stay close to me now?"

"Stop it Seb," I muttered under my breath as I looked away, making a point of ignoring him just like he'd been doing to me.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and forced me closer to him as he took a deep breath, "I'm so mad Aria."

"I know," I whispered, resisting to his hold, "I'm-"

"Not now," He cut me off.

I set my hands on his chest and pushed myself up to put more distance between us, hating the way he was acting. "I don't want to go back to New York tomorrow," I said in one breath, dropping another bomb as if we needed that.

"I have to because of work, but you don't have to come with me if you don't want to," He answered as he took his arm away from me, looking defeated.

I parted my lips then reclosed them and looked away, knowing I should have waited to tell him I wanted to stay a few more days in LA. Now I sounded heartless, like I wanted to stay in this fight with him when that was the last thing I wanted. I hated when he was mad at me, I honestly couldn't think of anything I disliked more. "It's not that I don't want to come with you," I said and looked at him, wondering if he really thought that was the case.

"No?" He lifted an eyebrow, that defeated look still on his handsome but weary face. I wanted to kiss him and make it better, slip onto his lap as he buried his deep inside of me. Sex always fixed everything with us, but right now it wasn't even an option. He could barely stand to look at me as it was.

"I wanted to visit Amelia," I said honestly, not sure when I had talked myself up on getting the courage to contact my sister, but suddenly I was sure it was what I needed to do. I was planning on moving to Seattle for however long Seb wanted me there with him, and New York before that. I couldn't live my life avoiding the heavy burden that had become my relationship with my twin... Gavin either. I had to talk to them both before I left.

"Then talk to her," He said and started to stand up before I reached for his wrist and he stopped moving. "Aria," He said flatly and looked at me with a blank face, not even giving me the slightest clue of where we stood. God that scared me more than anything, the thought of him being that mad at me that I might lose him.

"Are we okay?" I asked quietly, the hurt evident in my tone. I wasn't trying to play the victim because I knew that wasn't the case. I fucked up. The one person who mattered most to me, I lied to him.

 "Mom wants to know if you two want any cake and ice cream," Kathleen poked her head into the livingroom and smiled, eyes bouncing back and forth between us.

I held my breath and glanced at Seb who shook his head, "No."

"I'm fine, thanks," I smiled at her, waiting for her to leave so we could finish our conversation. She turned to leave while I looked back at my boyfriend who still had his eyes where his sister had been standing, "Seb?"

He turned his head in my direction, slowly, the pained look on my face making his soften drastically. "Ar," He said quietly and forced himself to calm his anger, at least temporarily.

"Are we okay?" I repeated, my words coming out in a whisper as I stared at him, needing to know how he felt since the idea of him staying mad at me kept weighing on my mind.

"I'm not going to leave you, if this is what worries you," He clarified, trying to guess my thoughts since I was genuinely concerned. We didn't do fights well. In the past, every fight had ended in us breaking up or putting some distance between us. I didn't want that. When I didn't talk and bit down on my lip, he freed his wrist from my hold and set his hand on my knee, staring at me. "We're okay."

I broke eye contact in favor of glancing down at where his hand was, so innocent yet that little touch alone was enough to send electricity between us. It didn't matter how bad the place we were was or our nasty moods, the attraction was always there. "I'm sorry," I repeated again and he looked like he had to suppress a groan, tired of that word already even if he knew that I meant it. For whatever reason, it wasn't enough.

"I know," He said instead, taking a deep breath, "We have a lot of talking to do, I want you to explain to me why you kept something like this from me."

I nodded, not sure myself how to even put my reason into words. "You're still mad, aren't you?" I asked even though I knew the answer already.

"Yes Aria," He said seriously as he got up, grabbing my hand and forcing me to follow. As soon as I was back on my feet, he pulled me against him with no kindness, his hand cupping my jaw carefully and a second later he planted a kiss on my lips before pulling away. "I need some time to get over it, but I will. Do you want to go?"

"No," I said honestly, knowing that if we left now? Another four years would probably pass before Seb would visit his family again. The idea of making him leave, miss out on spending more time away from his family because of me? It'd be too heavy of a weight to carry. I wanted him to get to know Julia better, hold Haylie while she was still a baby. "I ruined your night and I feel bad about that, but I don't want to leave yet."

He studied my expression as if trying to figure out where my mind was since not even an hour ago, I was ready to walk out on dinner. I had to stop running, stop avoiding our problems. We were in a relationship and couples fought, that was life and nothing ever came easy. "Why not?" He asked.

"Because look at how excited they were to see you. I'm not going to ruin everyone's night," I said quietly, wanting to lean into him again, feel the reassurance of his hard body against mine. "I love you Seb and I would do literally anything for you." He let out a sigh before scrubbing his hands over his face, giving me a tired expression with a small look in his eye that I recognized instantly. It was that small glint that gave me hope. When he said nothing, I gave him a small smile, "I know."

He lifted an eyebrow and parted his lips slowly, "You know what?"

"That you love me, but you're too mad at me to say it right now," I said back. "I understand."

465 comments:

  1. [omg they always kill me o.o]

    thanks for coming with me

    -seb

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  2. of course. i'm glad we went.
    - aria

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  3. your nieces are so cute
    - aria

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  4. julia worships you
    - aria

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  5. I don't even understand why

    -seb

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  6. because youre her uncle sebby
    - aria

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  7. then change that
    - aria

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  8. id love to go with you whenever you want
    - aria

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  9. you could go alone too while I'm not here

    -seb

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  10. im only staying to see my sister and then ill be with you again... if you still want me there
    - aria

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  11. you should stop doubting that

    -seb

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  12. Its how youre acting...
    - aria

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  13. like I don't want you with me?

    -seb

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  14. you should know me better than that aria

    -seb

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  15. youre just so mad at me...
    - aria

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  16. so you think I'm going to just pack my things and leave?

    -seb

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  17. well youre going back to new york tomorrow...
    - aria

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  18. maybe ill just come back with you
    - aria

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  19. it's better if you see your sister

    -seb

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  20. what? i dont know what you want me to do seb :(
    - aria

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  21. I want you with me but I also want you to talk to your sister because I know that if you don't now you won't ever

    -seb

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  22. maybe i should wait for her to call me instead
    - aria

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  23. it's your decision

    -seb

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  24. ill come with you
    - aria

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  25. as long as you won't regret it

    -seb

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  26. i wont regret it... id rather be with you
    - aria

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  27. im not going to regret it baby
    - aria

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  28. you're not staying another day because I'm mad?

    -seb

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  29. mills obviously doesnt want to tell me, so i see no point in asking. theres nothing keeping me here in LA.
    - aria

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  30. whats that sigh for?

    -seb

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  31. i hate when youre mad at me
    - aria

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  32. oh I love it instead

    -seb

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  33. then tell me how to make it better
    - aria

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  34. I don't know what to tell you to be honest

    -seb

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  35. just give me some time

    -seb

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  36. theres no much to do

    -seb

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  37. i will.. ive never kept anything else from you
    - aria

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  38. You keep just saying okay to everything...
    - aria

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  39. you should know so

    -seb

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  40. all i can think about instead is how youre mad at me :|
    - aria

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  41. so you don't think that I believe you?

    -seb

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  42. i never said that -.-
    - aria

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  43. I believe you
    -seb

    Well I hope so
    - aria

    -seb

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  44. *sighs* i cant do anything right
    - aria

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  45. im going to go lay down
    - aria

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  46. *goes to the bed and lays down*
    - aria

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  47. do you still want me here?

    -seb

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  48. okay...I'll be in the other room working if you need me

    -seb

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  49. *walks into the other room*

    -seb

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  50. *works*

    -seb

    [LMAO BOO!]

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  51. [they kill me :33]

    *hours pass and she wakes up* seb?
    - aria

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  52. on the couch...come here

    -seb

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  53. *walks into the livingroom and sits down beside him, cuddling his side* i missed you
    - aria

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  54. *wraps his arm around her shoulder and kisses her head* I did too. how did you slee?

    -seb

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  55. I always sleep bad when you're not there
    - aria

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  56. When do you find out about the movie?
    - aria

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  57. when I'll be back in ny

    -seb

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  58. are you excited? :)
    - aria

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  59. im excited to be with you for all that time *kisses his cheek&
    - aria

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  60. i hope so baby :)
    - aria

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  61. will you stay in a hotel or rent a place?
    - aria

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  62. rent a place since you'll be with me

    -seb

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  63. maybe we can go there for a weekend and look at places :)
    - aria

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  64. that's a good idea

    -seb

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  65. im full of good ideas handsome *nuzzles his neck*
    - aria

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  66. because you're smart

    -seb

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  67. true.

    -seb
    ps: I'm glad that we get to do this thing together

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  68. im glad too... and lucky :*
    - aria

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  69. did you just want a kiss? :*
    - aria

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  70. i love kissing you :)
    - aria

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  71. I know

    -seb

    [hes being weird, isnt he?!]

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  72. [i figured it was just him being mad and pushing her away still :3]

    do you want me to let you get back to work?
    - aria

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  73. [the seb inside of me is torn between being mad and feeling guilty for treating her bad :3]

    no...

    -seb

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  74. [lol true, but sex is just another thing :3]

    yes

    -seb

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  75. [but its not even normal sex... hes in her butt!! :3]

    okay baby
    - aria

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  76. [it sounds like it!! o.o]

    then hold me and kiss me :(
    - aria

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  77. *climbs onto his lap* hi baby
    - aria

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  78. *wraps his arms around her* hi gorgeous

    -seb

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  79. *leans her head down to kiss him*
    - aria

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  80. *smiles against his lip and kisses him harder, sliding her tongue into his mouth*
    - aria

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  81. *grinds against him and tangles her hands in his hair*
    - aria

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  82. feisty *bites her lip*

    -seb

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  83. I cant help it with you :3
    - aria

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  84. did you decide what to do babe? :*

    -seb

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  85. Her or Gavin can tell me when They're ready.
    - aria

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  86. No... I'm not going to
    - aria

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  87. so you're just waiting?

    -seb

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  88. do you think im being silly?
    - aria

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  89. silly? no. I think you don't really want to face those two and I can't really blame you.

    -seb

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  90. what if they never tell me?
    - aria

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  91. I know how forgiving you can be...so I don't know

    -seb

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  92. I'll support you anyway

    -seb

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  93. thanks baby... im lucky to have you :*
    - aria

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  94. you are pretty damn lucky because i love you more than anything :)
    - aria

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  95. that's cheesy. but I love how it sounds.

    -seb

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  96. Its the truth :*
    - aria

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  97. I believe you babe :*

    -seb

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  98. did you pack the things you needed?

    -seb

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  99. i did :) how long will we be in new york?
    - aria

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  100. not longer than a week...unless you want to stay more

    seb

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  101. maybe itd be nice to stay a few extra days at least
    - aria

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  102. we can stay a week more then

    -seb

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  103. do you have things to do in the city?

    -seb

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  104. besides spend time with you? maybe ill go shopping and visit my mom
    - aria

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  105. that's for sure. don't you have enough clothes?

    -seb

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  106. *shrugs* im a girl
    - aria

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  107. do you want me to come when you'll visit your mom?

    -seb
    ps: I'll have to rip a few then

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  108. id love that :)
    - aria
    ps. id love that also :o

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  109. I will

    -seb
    ps: oh I know...

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  110. thanks seb :*
    - aria
    ps. you know me so well :3

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  111. no need to thank me

    -seb
    ps: like the palm of my hand

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  112. i do instead :*
    - aria
    ps. the palm of your hand itches to spank my booty :3

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  113. then you're welcome :*

    -seb
    ps: always

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  114. maybe ill make plans for dinner at that nice restaurant we went to last month :*
    - aria
    ps. always huh?

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  115. that's a good idea

    -seb
    ps: always gorgeous

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  116. im full of those ;)
    - aria
    ps. you can spank it :3

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  117. because youre so smart

    -seb
    ps: I don't need your permission

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  118. you're rubbing off on me
    - aria
    ps. *lays across his lap and pushes her skirt up, wiggling her booty*

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  119. you've always been smart

    -seb
    ps: you have no idea of what you're getting yourself into

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  120. thanks baby :*
    - aria
    ps. *pushes her panties down* tell me

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  121. you're welcome

    -seb
    ps: you know the rules, no telling only showing *bends over her and bites her cheek*

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  122. this has to go *rips her skirt*

    -seb

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  123. i think you could do better than that *grins and bites her lip*
    - aria

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  124. I was just warming up *SPANKS!*

    -seb

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  125. oh my god o.o
    - aria
    ps. my booty is burning!!

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  126. you asked for this

    -seb
    ps: *rubs it*

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  127. did you like it?
    - aria
    ps. is it red? :o

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  128. of course I did

    -seb
    ps: a little

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  129. me too :x
    - aria
    ps. kiss it and make it better

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  130. you're naughty

    -seb
    ps: *kiss it then bites*

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