So take this wine and drink with me, let's delay our misery.

So take this wine and drink with me, let's delay our misery. by pinklipstiiick featuring black platform heels

(flashback)

The front door slammed shut as I reached for the bowl of popcorn, popping a few kernels into my mouth while trying not to count all the calories the tiny bowl full of gooey butter contained. I'd go back on my diet tomorrow, I just needed a break from all the veggies. "Ben?" I called out as a tall figure walked past the doorway to the living room, giving me a fright since Corey was out of town on location filming and I could have sworn Ben said he was staying at his friend Regan's, I knew well enough that it was code for he was spending the night at Camille's though. How he managed to sneak out of Harper's house sometime in the early morning before her and Miles woke up? It beat me. I knew what our kids were up to and while I was still convinced they were too young to have sex? I had to be thankful that Ben had chosen probably the best girl I'd ever be able to pick out for him... not just that, but what they had was so genuine and innocent. I could recognize love. After being in love with my own best friend for more than 20 years? I saw the same in my son and his girlfriend every time I looked at them... and that was why I put all of my trust into them and the decisions they made.

He backtracked and smiled at me, "Bonjour. Je vais dormir."

I smiled, melting every single time he spoke in French to me since it reminded me of when he was little, when he was my baby struggling over learning two languages. He didn't understand it then, how being bilingual would benefit him, but now he spoke a handful of languages and it amazed me how smart he was. "Come here," I sat up straighter to make room for him. "I need some company."

He walked into the room and flopped onto the couch, nineteen years old and in college already. Next year he'd be transferring to Britain. I was going to miss him, but I was so proud of him. "Why are you still awake?"

"Couldn't sleep," I replied and glanced at him, he looked so grown up, not like my little baby Benji anymore. "How's Camille?"

"Why couldn't you sleep?" He asked instead, changing the subject. Never a good sign... he got that move from his father.

I just shrugged, bringing some popcorn to my mouth and chewing slowly. "I don't really know. It must be because I'm getting old," I sighed after swallowing.

He let out a small laugh and nudged me gently as he looked at me, "You're not old mom."

"I'm not getting any younger, am I?" I said back but smiled, letting him know that I was just joking.

"If you're fishing for compliments I'm sorry but you'll have to call dad," He said flatly, knowing how me and Cor had never exactly gotten over the whole honeymoon stage.

"Don't be so grumpy Benji," I said before breaking into a laugh, nudging him as I studied his grumpy face, knowing something was wrong. "You didn't tell me how's Camille," I tried again when he didn't say anything.

"How would I know that? I was at Regan's," He lied shamelessly and didn't look at me when he scrubbed his hands over his face.

"Then why did you come back home?"

He gave up and leaned his back against the couch, closing his eyes and scaring me a little. "She needed some time alone," He said in monotone.

I moved beside him, my hand landing on his forearm to squeeze it, "Did you fight with Cami?" My voice was dripping with worry. I always worried, it was part of being a parent.

He shook his head slowly as he swallowed, "No."

"Hey silly boy, you're making me worry," I said stubbornly, not willing to drop it. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's fine." He opened his eyes and turned his head in my direction, offering a small smile even if it was a forced one, "She's pregnant mom."

There are moments in a parents life, milestones if you will, that you know you'll never forget. The first time you baby walks, talks, etc... well those words coming out of Ben's mouth? The look on his face even though he tried masking it with a smile? I couldn't forget it if I tried. I wrapped both arms around him, too shocked to speak but still able to comprehend what he'd said. Camille was pregnant and my son, only 19 years old, was going to be a father.

"I'm scared," He said quietly.

"I know," I nodded my head, still speechless. I was scared too. Scared, sad, shocked; every emotion was hitting me at once. Pulling my head back, I looked at him, "Did she say that she wanted to be alone right now?"

His lips parted and then he closed them carefully, probably realizing his own mistake. There were two common lies women told men; one being that they were fine when really nothing was alright and two, that they wanted to be alone when they meant the opposite. "Yeah, but -"

"You should be with her right now, Benjamin," I told him, pressing my fingertips against my temples. It was taking everything in me not to cry, to muster up enough strength to reassure my son that everything would be okay. "I know that you're scared right now, but think of how she feels... I'm guessing you two haven't told her parents yet?"

He shook his head and I tried to imagine how Harper and Miles might take the news. It was like history repeating itself only our kids were genuinely in love with each other... only Camille was 17 years old, a whole life ahead of her that would now have to be put on hold. And Ben? Moving to London know seemed near impossible. "You're the only one who knows," He said finally and I reached for his hand, giving it a small squeeze.

"Have you..." I trailed off, not knowing how to phrase the question correctly. "Did you two discuss what you want to do? Or how far along she might be?"

"I know nothing about that kind on things mom," He sighed as he looked at me, looking so young and innocent it made my heart ache. "Except for Chloe being obnoxious before her period."

I let out the tiniest laugh which was soon cut off by a small choking sound, me trying my best not to cry. His face dropped instantly, making me wish I could make this right. "Ben," I just shook my head, closing my eyes for a second.

He held my hand tightly in his, needing me now more than any other moment in his life. He was still my baby; could barely cook a meal on his own, still lived at home... how was he supposed to raise a child? "We talked about what to do, but I don't know, we're both really confused. We found out just a few hours ago."

"She probably needs to see a doctor," I said quietly, looking him. I bit my lip and my expression changed, "Ben did we teach you nothing about being careful?"

He shook his head, cringing a little as he thought about the speech Corey gave him, probably a little too late. "I know I know, it's all my fault. I was stupid," He admitted in a barely audible tone. He lowered his head and stared at the floor, looking ashamed. "But now..." He trailed off, taking a deep breath, "Mom I love Cami and I want this baby. It's not like I was planning on having a kid anytime soon, but now that it happened-" He cut himself off, having a hard time saying it out loud, "It's our baby already."

I smiled genuinely and nodded my head, knowing that this wasn't how I ever imagined finding out one of my children were going to start a family of their own, but honestly? The way he was stepping up to his faults and being a man? I was proud of him for that. I knew how scared he was, it was written all over his face and he didn't need to hear me saying that I was disappointed in him. What was done was done, they couldn't erase the fact that Cami was pregnant, so why make it worse by yelling? He knew what he did wrong,  what he could have done differently. "Having a baby is hard," I said seriously. "You two are so young and what about London? What about school?"

His eyes broke away from mine and he looked down at our intertwined hands, "I haven't thought about that."

"You can't just pack up a newborn and expect Camille to stay at home all day..." I trailed off, letting out the deep breath I had been holding.

"I wouldn't," He said quickly and I believed him. Their love for each other was so pure, I didn't believe in love stories very often, but I believed in those two.

I nodded my head, wrapping my other arm around him to pull him into a hug. A single tear fell from my eye as I kissed the top of his head, "I'm proud of you... not for knocking up your 17 year old girlfriend, but for wanting to do the right thing. You're a good man."

"I don't feel like it," He said quietly.

I closed my eyes and kept my hold on him tight, "Most men wouldn't even know how to handle this, but you're nineteen years old Ben. Cami's lucky to have you. I think you two will make amazing parents."

"I hope so...I'll try my best," He said back and when I pulled my head back, he noticed a wet trail on my cheek, a small tear at its end. "Oh please mom don't cry."

"I'm not," I forced a smile as I wiped my cheek, giving him the look I always had whenever I tried to keep my emotions in check. "I'm fine."

"I'm sorry mom," He said quietly. "If we're keeping this baby-"

"If?" I cut him off, looking a little confused, the tone of my voice still soft anyway, "Didn't you say you want it?"

He nodded his head immediatly to show me that he wasn't changing his mind and wouldn't, "I do, but I'm not the only one who get to take this decision." He took a deep breath, looking so young and lost. My heart ached, wishing I could help him more... while the rest of me? God, Corey was going to freak out.

"There's a lot of thinking to do," I agreed, adjusting my back against the couch again as I let go of him but not of his hand.

"I know...I mean, I can't even imagine how you can decide if you want to carry a baby inside of you and your body to change-"

I held my free hand up and cut him off, "That's not what I meant Benji." I said, talking to him softly, "If she wants to have this baby with you she won't care about that for now. Maybe later, but now it's more about if you two can do this, give a future to your son or daughter."

He furrowed his eyebrows and processed my words, a tiny baby appearing in my thoughts. I pictured my teenage son and his girlfriend who was still in high school starting a family together, was it so crazy that I thought they could really do it? Of course parents always put a lot of faith and trust into their kids, but Ben? He was so smart, such a good kid. "I don't even have a job," He said out of nowhere as he looked at me, reality hitting him hard.

I pursed my lips together and let out the deep breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. Nineteen years old and still hadn't had a real job yet. When I was nineteen, I was going through a bad breakup and just starting modeling. The downside to that though? I dropped out of university, never going back. "Your father and I could help with that," I said seriously, my eyes scanning his face and knowing it wasn't what he wanted. He was just like me and Cor; proud. Too proud to take handouts, even when life had dealt damn near impossible situations.

"No," He shook his head and looked away from me. "I want to do this on my own... prove to Cami that I'm serious about starting a life with her."

I smiled at my son, seeing not a child anymore but a man. The thought alone made me want to break down and hold him, but I smiled wider instead, another tear escaping me.

"Mom," He squeezed my hand after looking back at me. "I'm so sorry."

I shook my head quickly, "I'm not disappointed in you Ben."

"No? Because I keep thinking of how dad's going to react when I tell him, and the idea of Cami having to raise a child on her own while I'm dead -"

I laughed and used my free hand to wipe my cheek, "Your father isn't going to kill you... he might not be very excited and he might have a heart attack, but he wouldn't ever lay a hand on that pretty face of yours." He groaned and dropped the hold he had on my hand, scrubbing both of his palms over his face. His features were flawless, reminding me a lot of Cor when we first met. Classic good looks and strong features. "Why don't you try modeling?" I asked and he lifted his head to shoot me a skeptical look. "You'd book jobs easily. Just accept a few of the high paying ones until you find something you really want to do," I shrugged my shoulders. "You'd be able to stay in school and pay bills, assuming that you and Camille will want to find a home."

He nodded slowly and processed my words, lost in his own thoughts. "Do you really think I could be a model?" He asked as he looked at me, knowing that I was the best person to ask that question to. Former model and now head of a model agency, I knew a lot on the subject.

"Of course Ben, you surely have the looks, thanks to your dad," I answered with a smile on my face, my eyes drifting to his features as I brushed the hair off his  forehead, "I can only hope you got my modeling skills too."

He blinked at me for a moment before breaking into a liberating laugh, "I have to think about it."

"You probably don't remember this but when you were a little boy we had this photoshoot, all our family, together," I started while he listened to me in silence, "You weren't happy about it, too impatient and full of energy. Still, without even trying, you managed to be an handsome little man, the camera loved you."

He raised one eyebrow, looking slightly amused. It was crazy to realize how much time had passed since that day and how he was a man now, about to start a family of his own. "I don't remember that," He said simply. "I don't want to be a model mom."

"It's your decision Ben, give yourself some time," I said as I set my hand on his knee and squeezed it reassuringly.

"I don't think I have any other choice mom," He shook his head, still processing everything. "You had a good idea."

"You're smart Ben... if you don't want to do modeling? You can do anything else you desire," I said honestly, not wanting him to give up on his dreams. When I got pregnant with him, I didn't stop modeling, but my priorities changed. My entire life changed.

He nodded, "I know. And thank you."

I smiled back at him and nodded my head, trying not to think about how Corey was going to react to our first born son's news. And Chloe... she was in New York at a private school that cost more than I liked to admit to anyone who asked. How were we supposed to tell her over the phone that her brother and her best friend were expecting a child? "Your dad gets home tomorrow... We'll tell him over dinner," I said in what felt like a daze. "Maybe I'll give him a few glasses of rum first," I added under my breath, not meaning to say it out loud. Ben laughed nervously, breaking me out of the daze as I looked at him and forced a smile, "It'll be fine. I promise."


(present)

"They're late," I glanced at the clock and the food on the stove which I, of course, hadn't cooked. Corey was giving me one of his looks, the one that let me know that I was stressing over nothing. Missing a Sunday dinner though? That wasn't nothing. First Chloe had canceled for some photo shoot, and now Ben was late. "He's trying to get out of bringing her."

"I can't blame him," He muttered under his breath while I glared at him and crossed my arms over my chest as he walked across the room to where I was standing, wrapping his arms around me and dropping his hands down to my ass. "When are you going to realize that our kids don't want you involved in their love lifes?"

"Don't get handsy with me if you're going to say something that pisses me off," I said flatly, grinning as he lowered his head to kiss me.

A groan broke the silence and we both pulled back to find Ben standing in the doorway of the kitchen with his nose wrinkled, "I thought we were having dinner, but if you two are busy I can leave."

"You're late," I said and pulled away from my husband, lifting an eyebrow at my son while I tried peeking around him to see if she was there. I couldn't even remember the new girls name. "And alone?"

"Chloe had a photoshoot, hasn't she told you?" He  asked with a grin on his face, knowing as a fact that she had, but teasing me anyway. He got that from his father. 

"I wasn't talking about your sister," I crossed my arms against my chest as my lips pursed together in a thin line.

He shot his dad an amused look which got him a grin back, while he walked over to me with a smile on his face. "Gabe's with Cami this week," He said quietly, playing innocent.

At the mention of my grandson, my face softened. I still felt much too young to be a grandma, but I loved that boy as if he were my own. "I know that too Ben," I smiled and shook my head, "That wasn't what I meant."

"And Cami's with Gabe," He said with a huge grin as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and squeezed me so hard against him that I started squirming.

"Benjamin," I warned and pushed him away, tempted to ask if that meant that him and Camille were together again.. but then he'd go all grumpy on me as always.

He ignored me and walked to the table, rolling his eyes at Corey in the process before taking a seat. "You're an only child tonight," Cor said in a playful tone, looking amused.

"Lucky me, I get all the attentions," He sighed, watching as I moved around the kitchen.

"Where's your girlfriend?" I asked out of nowhere and going straight to the point, my back to my favorite men as I smirked.

"Here we go," Cor muttered under his breath, loud enough for me to hear as he sat down at the table.

"I don't have a girlfriend."

What did that even mean? Clearly he was seeing someone. I tossed my head over my shoulder, raising one eyebrow at my oldest child, "I've heard different Ben."

"About that mom. Chlo told me about you playing Sherlock Holmes with us and looking for informations on gossip magazines as a hobby."

"Sherlock Holmes?" I lifted an eyebrow and sighed, shaking my head as if dismissing his words. "I pay my staff well and part of the PR departments job is to keep a close eye on their clients."

"Keeping a close eye or keeping personal folders?" He asked, his own face imitating mine.

I carried over the large dish of pasta, a treat since we rarely ate carbs in the Lindsell household. We had enough food to feed a small village tonight since I was expecting more than one of my kids to show up; maybe a grandchild or a date, but I got neither. Corey was playing innocent, dishing up some salad on his plate while Ben had a more determined look on his face, always getting down to business that one. He was smart, much too smart to be a model but for some odd reason, it was still his chosen profession. Now don't get me wrong, the fact that my kids took after both me and Cor profession-wise and were amazing models? I was proud. I wanted more for them though. "Every model has their own folder. Previous work, show cards, tabloid articles," I shrugged, maybe my kids files held more than other models but it made sense, they were heirs to the agency after all. With all the headlines Chloe made? Her's was like a damn novel. Ben, thankfully, was much more private. "You shouldn't be so surprised."

"Do you read through all of the other folders?"

I shook my head, "No, do I have a reason to?" He parted his lips as I dished pasta onto my plate, a smile playing on my lips, "I've looked at your girlfriends however. Lovely girl, but perhaps a little too young for you."

"Ava," Corey said flatly. I promised him I'd keep my lips shut, but what was the point in that? I was very opinionated and raised my children to be the same. Why start biting my tongue now?

He turned his head in Cor's direction and looked at him with an eyebrow raised, "You really let her do that?"
My husband sighed and shook his head, deciding to focus on his salad insted of looking at me."You know her," He shrugged, dismissing the subject completely. Obviously he wanted sex tonight and didn't want to risk saying the wrong thing. Smart man he was.

"I do nothing wrong, I just worry for my children," I pointed out, wrinkling my nose.

Ben broke eye contact with me, deciding to ignore me for a moment and reaching for the bowl of pasta to get some. My intentions were good, he had to know that. "You should stop because there's nothing to worry about," He said finally.

I offered a smile, "Then tell me more about your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend and I doubt that you want to know more."

"Ben," I narrowed my gaze on him. It sounded exactly like something Corey would have said years ago before we got together. The thought of my son turning into his father during his wild days? It scared the hell out of me... especially since he was a father.

He ate a forkful of pasta, staring at me with a peaceful look on his face as he swallowed. "This pasta is delicious, you're such a good cook mom," He said instead, teasing me and being silly in order to make me forget about his love life even though he had to know that it took a lot more than just that.

Corey let out a snort, keeping a smirk on his face as I turned my head to shoot him a glare. "That was a good one," He said to Ben, shaking his head as he stabbed his fork into some of the noodles. I lifted an eyebrow in amusement as he went on, "I only wish your mother could cook like this."

"And I wish you could fold your own clothes. Looks like no one wins!" I retorted, tossing another glare in his direction.

"You still can't fold your own clothes dad?" Ben laughed, "Gabe has you beat there."

"Why is everyone picking on me?! Your moms the one with the folders!"

My mouth fell open but I smiled, "They're for the PR! It's not like I'm secretly spying on anyone!"

"Not even a little?" Ben asked skeptically, his smile matching mine. I liked seeing my son happy... even if it was at my own expense.

"No Benjamin, I am not spying on you or your sister," I shook away the thought that was possibly a small lie, taking a bite of pasta which actually was really good. Carbs made me feel like running a mile, but damn they were good. "However, your sister? I swear, it's like she's trying to give me a heart attack. Constantly."

"Oh come on, Chloe isn't that bad," He defended my youngest, my little princess. She really wasn't bad, but she loved attention. Sometimes I feared how far she'd go to get it.

"Have you two been spending a lot of time together?" I looked at him, always encouraging them to be closer since when I was younger, Ames was my everything. You could have a successful career and be on top of the world, but if you had no one to share it with? It got lonely. Both Cor and I knew that a little too well back then.

He nodded his head and looked at his pasta while he ate, holding something back. Lindsell's were expressive... much like Corey, our kids had faces that gave everything away. "Yes, you know how much she loved having me around and torture her," He said and grinned.

I rolled my eyes while Cor shot him a side glance, "Is she seeing someone?"

Ben kept his face straight as he stared at me, "Ask her, I'm sure she knows."

"I know nothing," I retorted, giving him an innocent face that didn't fool either of my boys.

"Lies," He muttered under his breath before eating another forkful of pasta, swallowing before shrugging. "No, she's single and she will be for a while."

I narrowed my eyes on him, trying not to smirk, "You're keeping her on your radar? Who's the spy now?"

He grinned back at me, amused by my words, "I don't spy, she tells me all I need to know."

"Good, I feel better at the thought that you keep an eye on her," Cor sighed, looking genuinely relieved.

Ben winked at him, making the moment light, "I learned from the best."