i'm so tired of these blurred lines

i'm so tired of these blurred lines by ssaarah on Polyvore

I swallowed thickly as I watched Jules laughing at something the man in front of her said. She set her hand against his chest as she chuckled and mine tightened as I walked up to them.

“Jules our reservation is in 10 minutes.” I said coldly, giving this guy a glare. She nodded.

“I'm ready, Finn this is…this is Trey my….” She paused and I jumped right in.

“I'm her boyfriend.” I said seriously with an edge to my voice I didn’t bother to hide. Jules looked up at me and I wasn’t sure if she was upset I had already labeled us or if she realized my discomfort at the situation in general.

“I was just talking to Finn here about his wedding. I felt my face soften as I looked back at him.

“Wedding? Congratulations.” He nodded.

“Paul and I are getting married next weekend and Julia here has planned the most beautiful reception. It’s going to be quite the spectacle.” He winked at me. “Damn you are quite the spectacle yourself…..if I wasn’t getting married in a week…” he trailed off and Jules smacked his chest again.

“Watch it or I’ll tell on you to your fiancé.” Finn shrugged.

“I think he would appreciate my taste.” He teased. “Have a good dinner you two.” My god I was just jealous of a gay man about to get married. Apparently my issues weren’t gone like I thought they were. 

"You too handsome." Jules grinned and watched him go away before he turned to me and I tried not to look guilty of the jealousy crime I had committed. I felt like an idiot.

 “Our table should be ready." I said quietly, too quietly, setting my hand on the small of her back as I led us toward the table to a place I knew that Jules would love.

"I like here." she said quietly as she waited for me to pull out her chair before taking a seat which of course I did, but I also felt like something was off.

"I thought so." I said back with a grin that matched her pretty one, reaching for her hand as I looked into the eyes that I loved so much. "I wanted to surprise you." I added.

"You did a great job baby, thank you." Jules said quietly, though she looked a little….off again.

"You're mad at me, aren't you?" I asked, going straight to the point.

"Why would I be?" Jules asked back as I traced circles on her palm with my thumb.

"You know, because of Finn." I admitted, knowing I’d made an error in judgment.

"I'd appreciate if you weren't jealous of gay men too." she said with a small smile, not wanting to fight even before staring dinner probably. She opened the menu and scanned it instead, breaking eye contact with me and changing the subject.

"What will you take?" I took her menu and set it down on the table before looking at her.

“I'm so sorry.” I said wincing and running my hands through my hair. “I was being so….ridiculous…”

“Yeah.” Jules nodded swallowing and then taking a sip from her water glass.

“To be fair…any guy would do the same.” I winced. “You’re just so perfect Jules. Any guy would kill to have you.”

“That doesn’t mean you can treat every guy like he would.” She replied slowly. “Just like I can’t stab our waitress in the neck every time she eyefu.cks you.” I felt myself slowly grin and I looked back at her.

“What?!” I asked incredulously as I smirked back at the love of my life.

“It’s true.” She said simply, her eyes going slightly dark as I ran my thumb over her hand.

“I hate to admit it, but you being jealous is a little flattering.” She smiled and blushed slowly.

“At first maybe.” She shrugged. “I love you Trey. We have to trust each other baby.”

“I do trust you. I swear I do.”

“Are you guys ready?” the waitress was back and grinning at me as I watched Jules glaring.

“Give us a minute.” I said, not even looking at her. Jules watched her walk away with a cute look on her face before glancing back at me.

"See? And that was nothing, at least she was subtle...or trying."

"I see nothing baby, all I see is you." I said quietly,  pulling her hand up to my lips and pressing a kiss against her fingers.

"Oh Trey." she whispered as she beamed at him. "Cut it out."

"Never." I winked at her, knowing she loved it when I was so cheesy, but I wasn’t even trying when I was with her. I just loved her.  

"Silly." she squeezed my hand then glanced at the menu before staring into his again, "Why did you ask her to give us another minute?" I just shrugged,

"I don't know what to eat yet...do you?" I asked quietly.

"Of course I know what you'll eat." she nodded as she bit back a grin.

 "A t-bone steak with roasted potatoes." I broke into a laugh because she knew me too well, or I was just unreasonably predictable.

"And you'll take fillet, salad aside thanks." I said back, knowing  her the same.

“Wrong." She smirked as she leaned into me from across the table to kiss my lips quickly, "I'll have a soup instead."

 "That's not enough." I frowned, "Are you okay?"

 "Yes I am baby.” She reassured me before she took a minute to stare into my eyes and look at me kind of funny.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

 "Because you're handsome." she paused, smiling as she kept watching me closely. "You should be a model."

"Yeah sure." I laughed again, shaking my head, "I'm too old for that anyway."

"You're not old, but I'm glad that I don't have to share you with the rest of the world." She said with a shrug.

“If you want I’ll pose for you.” I said slowly, letting the corners of my lips quirk up as she bit her lip.

“Oh yeah?” she asked, tilting her head to the side and letting her hair fall over her shoulder. God she was beautiful.

“I might even get naked” I shrugged acting casual even if my words weren’t and she grinned even wider.

“Would you let me use it for my screensaver?” she asked, her eyes wide and innocent, playing the same game I was.

“If you wanted.” I shrugged. “I have your boobies as mine.” Jules eyes widened and she let her jaw drop open before I started laughing.

“Trey!!!” I laughed harder and shook my head.

“I'm kidding. I have those pictures locked away.” I winked as I remembered a morning we had spent together on vacation, she’d woken up looking like a goddess and I couldn’t help but snap a few shots. Luckily she’d been high on vacation fun and hadn’t opposed.

“I should have asked for those back when we broke up.” She smirked, running her finger slowly around the glass.

“I say you just take some of me and we call it even because you’re never getting those back.” I replied before grabbing her hand and running my thumb along hers. “And we’re never breaking up again anyways.”

“You’re very wise. I want pictures of your booty.” She said, her face flushing and I could tell she was trying not to burst into laughter as I chuckled.

“We’ll see.”

“Ready?” the hyper girl asked, Jules was nuts, the girl couldn’t be more than 18 and she wasn’t at all interested in hitting on a taken man. We ordered, Jules still slightly scowling until she left.

“Do you think she’s pretty?” she asked, tilting her head to the side as she watched her go.

“She’s a baby.” I replied seriously before Jules turned back to me.

“So was I before you stole away all my innocence.” She smirked and this time I let my jaw drop.

“You make it sound way worse than it was!” I protested. “Plus you offered up to me whatever innocence you had left. And you were irresistible.” I added. “Random waitresses? Not so much.”

"I don't know." Jules said casually and shrugged, propping her elbow on the table and setting her chin on her palm."I'm sure there are other girls you could not resist." she said quietly.

"I'm just lucky that you chose me."

"You're all I want Jules, you have to believe me."

"I believe you and trust you." She reassured. "I mean it."

"I do too." She smiled at me and then her phone started ringing. She reached for it from inside her purse, Josh's face showing on the screen. I felt…weird. All my suspicions about him had been right and so I felt justified, but at the same time I never wanted to be that guy again, the one who didn’t trust his girlfriend even if it was that jerk I didn’t trust.

"Are you going to take it?" I asked, my tone one of obvious forced calm. Jules shook her head and ignored the call,

"No." she said quietly and smiled.

"No?"

“Maybe I'll text him later to ask if everything is fine, but no, no answering to anyone." she said quietly.

“You can answer it.” I said, shrugging, wanting her to know that I was trying to change. She shook her head.

“I'm on a date with my boyfriend. I think no cell phone calls are allowed.” I smiled and pushed her hair out of her face before reaching for her hand.

“I think I like that idea.” I replied softly as I thought about what I was going to say to her, what I wanted to say.

“That means you too though.” She replied and I laughed at her.

“Baby I turn my phone off as soon as I leave work.” I replied seriously making her cringe slightly. “What’s wrong?”

“I hate that you’re not happy at your job Trey…” she trailed off and shook her head. “You should be happy, you should love what you do.” I smirked slowly.

“I love you so it works.” I replied, wagging my eyebrows at her suggestively as Jules blushed and shook her head.

“As much as I love you too? I can’t pay you for that….well I could but I couldn’t afford you probably.” She bit her lip and I laughed again.

“Oh? You make good money baby how much do you think I'm worth?” she tilted her head to the side and smiled.

“Priceless I think.” She said softly, making me beam back at her.

“I think you’re the cheesiest.” I whispered and she nodded.

“I think so too.” She set her napkin back on the table. “I'm going to run to the rest room okay?” I nodded and she stood up, but then grabbed the table as her body leaned backwards. I jumped up to catch her.

“Julia!” I held her body close to mine and she held her head.

“I must have stood up too fast.” She replied softly, “I'm so dizzy.” I swallowed at the hazy look in her eyes.

“You must not be getting enough sleep baby….” She laughed weakly and shrugged.

“I’ll blame you for that.”

“I’ll take the blame but I'm putting you straight to bed ….after you eat something. Have you eaten yet today?”

"No." she admitted weakly and shook her head, grabbing my shirt for support as she forced herself to breathe in and out. I was worried about her, she looked a little pale…

"Why not? Not enough time? You work too much-"

"It's not that." she cut me off and smiled and I wondered if I was being too clingy. It was just that I had gotten a taste of what my life would be like without her and I hated it. "I didn't feel like eating."

 "That's weird, you're not on some stupid diet, are you?" I asked, back to looking for answers as I helped her to sit down again. “Because I tell you, you're perfect like this and if you lost weight you'd become too skinny and I'd be afraid to break you every time I'm on top of you." I said, trying to make the situation lighter which seemed to work because she laughed. 

"Then I'd be the one on top. But no, no diets. I love food too much."

"Thank god because I love when I'm on top and you look so sexy there, spread for me..." Damn it I was getting carried away…. "Anyway, what's wrong Jules? Are you sick?" she shrugged.

"I've been feeling nauseous a couple times this week, it must be the stress." she explained quietly, watching me as I moved my seat to the other side of the table to stay closer to her…just in case.

"It could be." I said in a soft voice, keeping her hand in mine as I cupped her face with my free hand and ran my thumb down her soft cheek.  "Or maybe a bug."

"Maybe." she whispered, intertwining her fingers with mine and squeezing them,

"I'll feel better tomorrow baby, it's nothing." I looked at her and kissed her forehead again, frowning.

“You’re burning up instead…” I trailed off and she shrugged.

“I feel kind of cold.” I blinked as the waitress came back with our meals and I asked her to have them boxed up to go instead.

“I'm fine Trey you don’t have to be so worried.” I looked back at her and swallowed, not believing it.

“Tell me how you feel now. Be honest with me Julia.” She blinked.

“I feel dizzy.” She admitted. “And chilly.” I pulled my suit jacket off and put it around her shoulders as she smiled at me.

“You need a break love.” I said seriously. She shook her head.

“No I'm fine.” I shook my head.

“When was the last time you took some time off?” I asked her, raising a brow as she shrugged.

“I don’t remember.” I shook my head and paid for our food, grabbing the bag in one hand and her tiny body in my other, helping her outside and feeling my chest tighten as she shivered as soon as the air hit her, which wasn’t even cold because it was June.

“Oh baby…” I shook my head and helped her into a cab, pulling her body close to mine and squeezing it until we got to our apartment.

“I'm going to heat up your soup okay?” I said after tucking her into the bed and putting on some soft music. She nodded.

“Trey?” I looked back.

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too….” I trailed, off, recognizing that now probably wasn’t the time for this but not caring anyways. “And I want to be with you for real. None of this weekend stuff anymore. I want to see you every day. Not only that but I want to take you away. You have to have 3 months vacation saved up by now. Let’s take it.”

"Come here." Jules  whispered softly and I obeyed, walking over to the edge of the bed as I sat down, hoping this was going to be good news and not that she was going to need more time away from me because I hated that

"I'm here." I said quietly. Jules rolled over onto her side, her hands sliding out of the sheets to grab me by my shirt and force me to lower my back on the pillows against the headboard.

 "Are you asking me to be your girlfriend and move in with you?" she asked softly as she gave me a sweet smile that was part of the reason I fell for her in the first place. I nodded and relaxed as soon as I realized that she was taking my words in the right way.

"Yes baby, even it's not you moving in with me, it's us moving back in our apartment. Us, our, those are the key words." I cupped her face and brushed my thumb against her cheek again as I looked at the girl I loved so much.

"When?" she asked, "I'm tired of sharing my space with my sister and her boyfriend." I let out a small chuckle and she snuggled closer to me. This was where I wanted her, where I always wanted her. Beside me.

"What about starting now?" I offered, playing with her silky hair, "You need someone who can take care of you since you're sick."

"Will you be my doctor?" Jules asked as her smile turned into a smirk.

"Don't tempt me baby, you need to rest." I said in a warning tone, shaking my head.

"I'm so lucky to have you." she tilted her head back and puckered her lips, waiting for me to kiss her which of course I did. "I feel so much better now.

 "Is it a yes then?" I asked quietly.

"It is." She nodded. "And I don't have three months saved up, but we can take all I have. I'd love to go away with you."

“I might spoil you…” I trailed off seriously, grinning at her tiny body cuddled up to mine.

“I might have to relax and enjoy it then.” I bit my lip and smirked at her before giving a shocked face.

“Do you know how to relax? I don’t know….” I trailed off and she smacked my chest before straddling me slowly.

“I know how to enjoy you.” She grinned and I shook my head as I sat up and wrapped my arms around her waist.

“You’re sick baby.” I reminded her grinning as I slid my hands up the top of her shirt. “You should put pj’s on.” I told her and she raised her arms over her head.

“Help me.” She grinned, giving me a silly cute face and making me laugh.

“If I help you I’ll forget you’re sick.” I said softly, reaching out for her and pressing a kiss against her soft lips.

“Oops.” She grinned and I pulled her shirt over her head before she started shivering.

“Baby.” I shook my head and wrapped her in a blanket while I walked to the dresser to grab her some sweatpants and a sweatshirt. “You have to start taking care of yourself love.” I said, helping her into them, her face flushed and not for any healthy reason.

“But I like it better  when you take care of me.” She said in a tiny voice that left my heart aching for her.

“I will for the rest of our lives baby.” I said seriously, feeling her forehead and sighing. “You’re sick. You’re staying home from work this week.”

“Okay.” She nodded and I knew she was definitely sick.

“Do you want your soup?” 

"No." she shook her head, stretching her arms out towards me, "I want my boyfriend." I grinned and climbed onto the bed, letting her pull me against him.  

 "You're being awfully cute Jules." 

"Is it bad?" 

"What do you think?" I asked back, struggling to get out of my jacket and tossing it somewhere on the floor. 

"I don't know, you used to love it." she shrugged, moving her hands down on my chest and working on unbuttoning my shirt. 

"I still do..." I trailed off, kissing her cheek before my eyes dropped on her fingers, "Are you trying to seduce me again?" 

 No, unfortunately." she sighed, "But if you join me under the blankets all dressed you're going to boil." I grinned widely as I let her push my shirt over my shoulders and down my arms then I grabbed it and tossed it where my jacket was too. 

"I think it's just an excuse to see me naked." Jules chuckled and rolled over onto her side, waiting for me to join her under the sheets. 

"I don't need an excuse, you're mine again now." she said seriously and when I lifted my arm to wrap it around her shoulder she set her head on my chest and glued the rest of her tiny body against mine.

"That's true." I agreed and squeezed her, tilting down my head to press a kiss on her forehead that made her wrinkle her nose. I laughed at her face and, when she looked up at me I kissed her lips instead. 

"Better." she said softly and closed her eyes, "Where do you want to take me?" 

 “Anywhere.” I grinned, squeezing her tightly.

“Maybe we should just stay home.” She grinned and I rolled over to push her hair out of her eyes and hold her face in my hand.

“No I want to spoil you.” I kissed her lips softly and she smiled.

“You do that already.” She replied.

“Not enough. I took you for granted once, I won’t do it again.”

“Trey…”

“I mean it. You’re precious to me.” She bit her lip and shook her head.

“You’re precious to me too.” I kissed her nose and laid back down, pulling her with me.

“Let’s go somewhere that we can go every year, make it a spoil Jules tradition.” Jules grinned.

“What about Trey?” she asked, looking up with me with her pretty eyes and making me shoot her a wicked grin.

“It’ll be spoil Trey also.” I replied. “I’ll give you a lingerie budget.” Jules shook her head.

“Or I’ll just never wear any underwear on vacation.” She said in a sweet voice that didn’t match her words at all.

“I'm liking this idea even better….” I trailed off, trailing my hand up and down her back under her sweat shirt. “Somewhere hot so the only thing separating me from your pu.ssy is your sundress….” I trailed off and Jules groaned.

“Don’t turn me on now Trey I'm sick!” she pouted and I kissed her pouty lips quickly.

“You started it baby.”

"I just said that you won't have to spend money on my lingerie." I shrugged and grinned back at my pretty girl.

“It'd go to waste anyway since I'd end up ripping it."

 "Trey!" she protested, "You're doing it again!"

 "Ops." I smirked at her and then kissed her again. "I'll be good now, I swear." Jules relaxed against me and I loved how good she felt in my arms, where she should always be.

"You might spend money on bikinis though." she said quietly,

"Bikinis, uh?" I asked with an eyebrow raised, glancing down at her as I thought about her in a black swimsuit that left very little to the imagination. Ugh.  She nodded, running her hand up and down my stomach,

"We should go to Polynesia." She suggested, making me smile since it was one of the places I knew she always wanted to go.

"Bora Bora?" I asked.

"Yes. Nothing but beaches and us, relaxing and making love al day." I smiled because it didn’t get any better than that.

"I'd love that." I whispered, kissing her again "Are you dreaming of it already?"

 "I'm dreaming of you."