if we walk down this road we'll be lovers for sure

if we walk down this road we'll be lovers for sure by ssaarah

“Hey” I smiled at Milena, reaching over and pulling her into a hug. Damn she even smelled sexy as hell. I was starting to think I had a serious thing for her other than just my initial attraction. Only problem? She was basically the one girl I couldn’t have. If I ever hurt her? It would be disastrous. And I was pretty much destined to hurt her so she remained off limits.

“Dom this is my friend Ames, Ames this is Dominic my date.” I shook his hand and then reached out to the girl next to me.



“This is Laurel, she works in PR at BMM.” She smiled.


“You’re Milena Schon!” She smiled. “I'm totally addicted to your blog.” She smiled and I blinked, I knew Mila had a career writing online but I didn’t know she was big enough for random people to recognize her. Not that she was easy to forget.



“Oh thanks.” Mila’s face flushed a little and she smiled. “Your shoes are amazing.” The girls spoke a few more minutes about shoes and then Dom spoke up.



“Hate to break up the girl talk but did you two want to get a table with us? Is that okay Mila?” She nodded with a big smile.



“Of course!” I agreed and we squeezed into a half circle booth, Mila and I sitting next to our dates but also to each other, her leg brushing against mine.



"I didn't know you were back to dating Mila?" I said seriously, forcing a smile as I set my napkin on my lap. Wasn’t it a bit soon? She just laughed.



"Camille set us up." She replied, "She's incredibly head strong, plus I owe her." Mila grinned at her date, making him smirk before looking down her top.



"Thanks?" He asked with an eyebrow raise.





"I'm kidding. I think it was time. I wouldn't come on this date if I didn't want to come." She told him honestly as she grabbed her hand and I took a deep breath. Milena hadn’t been single pretty much as long as I had known her except for a few weeks here and there so why was seeing her with a man making me so damn annoyed?



"I know Mila. So how do you two know each other?" He asked as he nodded to me.



"Family friends. We grew up together and now we work at the same modeling agency." she told him, "Basically he's always there.”



"I'd like to think of it being as the little squirt is always there, not the other way around. I was born first.” I teased and Mila rolled her eyes,



"Funny."



"So Mila, how's going to all those fancy fashion shows?" Laurel asked with a sparkle in her eyes, the girl was pretty but she didn’t hold a candle to Milena, which made me feel like a jerk the minute I thought it.





"Yeah, it's pretty nice." she grinned, "I went to Versace's show last week and there were amazing gowns that of course aren't practical, but they were gorgeous none the less."



"You are so lucky! Do you get free things and stuff?"



"Sometimes." she smiled at her, "It's just really nice being in the front row seeing all of it. It's my passion."



“I can’t wait until I'm high up enough to go to shows too.” My date blushed and looked positively start struck by Milena.



“But you work PR that has to be more interesting than watching boring clothes all day.” Mila’s date said with a laugh that made me blink at him. The girl he was here with just said fashion was her passion and he was mocking it? Smooth. Mila looked a little hurt and before I knew what I was doing I reached beside me and squeezed her hand in mine. Her head shot towards me and I gave her a smile as Laurel and her date talked animatedly about some new model she was helping to represent.



“What do you do Ames?” Dom asked after what seemed like forever.



“Ames is BMM’s lawyer.” He widened his eyes and let out a whistle.



“So you work directly with the Lindsell’s? Wow.” The guy looked impressed as I bit back a laugh and Mila rolled her eyes.



“Corey is my brother in law.” I said with a smile. “So yeah, I’d say I work directly with them.” Dom blinked.



‘Holy shi.t” he swallowed. “So you’re saying you know Chloe Lindsell? Her maxim shoot.” He did another low whistle and I glared at him. One? Chloe was clearly related to me. Why would you talk to a guy like that about a family member? Two? His date was literally right next to him and looked sexier in a sundress than any girl did wearing barely anything in the pages of Maxim.



“Chloe’s one of my best friends.” Mila said in a hard voice.


“Wow. I didn’t know.” He grinned, and then the waiter came to order our food. I set my hand beside me and as I did my fingers brushed Mila’s thigh lightly. I swallowed because fu.ck her skin felt like satin, I didn’t know what came over me but before I knew it I was brushing her leg again, this time on purpose and then my fingers were running over her thigh as I let my hand set on her leg. Mila’s eyes flew to mine and she didn’t say anything, she didn’t even pull back. I stared back, captivated by how she felt, and the look in her eyes.



“Shi.t I have to take this.” Dominic’s voice registered as he grabbed his phone. Taking a call during a date? Where the hell did Milena find this guy anyways? But who the fu.ck cared, not when her skin felt creamy and perfect beneath my hand. I vaguely noticed Laurel excusing herself for the ladies room and I blinked at Mila as my thumb lightly caressed her thigh. What was I doing. What. Was. I. Doing?



“Ames…” she said in a breathy voice that nearly killed me.



“Shouldn’t you be going with her? Don’t girls go to the bathroom in pairs?” she ignored me.



“What are you doing?” she breathed as my heart beat faster.


“Tell me to stop.” I heard myself say the words but didn’t remember thinking them or sending a message to my brain to say them. Just then both our dates came back and we pulled away from each other, my hand tingling from where it had just been touching her so intimately and I was pretty much harder than I’d ever been in my life.



"What was that?" she asked Dom.



"Work." He shook his head as put the phone away. Leave it to Mila to be going out with another workaholic. Then again. I wasn’t any better. But I wasn’t going out with her either.



"I need another drink." she said waving down the waiter, "Can I have a mai tai please?" I blinked, wondering what she was thinking, if she was upset… Thank god the food came so I could have something else to think about.



"How's your steak?" Domenic asked, looking curiously at her.



"Really good. Perfectly cooked medium and the shrimp is great too." Suddenly Dominic's phone went off again,



"Sh.it." He cursed out, "I am so sorry Mila.” She just shrugged. She looked bored honestly.



"It's okay, take it." He at least had the decency to shoot her an apologetic look as he walked off and Mila sighed.



"You okay?" I asked, nudging her.



"I'm fine." She was lying clearly but before I could push further her date walked back.



“There's an emergency at work. One of my clients is freaking out and he's one of the best I have. I'm so sorry Mila.”



"It's okay." She said with another fake smile, "I'm tired anyways."



"Take my food to go. I already paid for our meals. I am so sorry.” She shrugged but still stood up to give him a hug,



"Don't worry about it, I'm let you two get back to your date and head home."



"Mila don't go home yet." Laurel spoke up, "I want to pick your brain." She grinned.



"Don't go home yet Milena…" I added slowly, not wanting her eyes to look anymore lost and hurt than they already did.



"I don't want to be the third wheel on your romantic date." she chuckled, "I'll be fine." She replied, grabbing her bag and walking out as I watched her go.



“You should go after her, make sure she get’s home okay.” Laurel said, giving me a reassuring smile.



“We didn’t finish eating.” She shrugged.



“You’re a cutie Ames, and so good looking it’s crazy but lets be honest we were both way more into someone else tonight.” I swallowed thickly and shook my head.



“Is it that obvious? “ I asked with a pained voice. She just smirked.



“Basically.” She leaned in and kissed my cheek. “Hurry before you miss her.” I grinned and then ran out of the restaurant after throwing some bills on the table.



"Milena, let me walk you home."



"Your date is in there!" she gave me a small smile, "I'm fine!"



"She told me to go with you… I think she preferred your date over me.” I joked though it was obviously true. “Please let me walk you home."



"Okay." We walked in silence for a couple blocks and then she looked at me.



“You….your hand…” she started, running her hand through her long hair and then looking at the ground.



“That guy was an as.shole. You deserve better.” Mila blinked, as if she realized I had totally ignored what she had just said. Of course she did. She wasn’t stupid.



“I think I might give up on men.” That was okay by me. I nodded.



“Good idea.” I smirked and she shot a look at me.



“Now I’ll just be in it for the sex.” She smirked and I felt my jaw set as I almost growled at her. “What?”



“That’s a terrible idea.” I retorted and she set her hands across her chest as she walked.



“It’s what you do.” I blinked.



“I'm not just in it for sex.” I argued back, thinking she knew me better than that.



‘Oh? You talk all this shi.t about how you’re never going to fall in love again, that Odette was the one and the only one you’re ever going to get but yet you still take women out, you’re still dating. If you’re not just doing it for sex what are you doing it for?” Her words felt like a knife to the gut because you know what? She had a damn good point.



“Fu.ck.” I blinked as I looked ahead of me.



“I'm not judging you Ames. I don’t expect you to be abstinent or anything.” She laughed though at the same time she looked a little uncomfortable.



“Right.” I swallowed. “I'm sorry about tonight. I shouldn’t have….I didn’t mean to….”



“Don’t worry about it.” She shook her head. “I have nice legs, guys try to feel me up under the table all the time.” She winked and I growled again before she laughed. “Kidding. But really don’t worry about it.” A jolt of disappointment went through me. I couldn’t have her I knew that, but at the time I’d thought I’d seen a hint of longing in her eyes. Knowing that my touch was barely a blip on her radar when it had been a few of the most erotically charged moments of my 30 years was a huge blow.



“Okay.” Was all I could think to say as I scratched the back of my neck.



"I still don't understand why you're acting this way."



"What do you mean?" I asked, blinking back at her before she gave me a look and then crossed her arms over her chest.



"I mean first there was the brushing of the legs and then your hands were on my thighs? That's not a normal behavior."



"I don't know what got into me Mila…" I trailed off, though I knew exactly what had gotten into me. Her.



"Stop! Just stop bullshitting me Ames. You know why. I don't understand why you can't just tell me. Aren't we friends?"





"I think I was trying to comfort you." I looked away, "He was being an as.shole."



"Okay." She snapped at the ground and I looked at her again curiously. What was on her mind?



"I'm sorry Milena." I said seriously. For some reason it made her stop and turn to him hardening her face.



"Stop saying that! One minute you're brushing your fingers on my skin and then next it's like I have the plague and you can't touch me."



"Milena-"



"No, don't say anything! Ames, why do you do this? You are so thick." she replied, scoffing as she hurried past me but I sped up to catch her.



"Thick? What are you talking about?" I asked but just as soon as the words were out Mila was running into me and pressing her soft lips against mine. I was so fucking shocked I just stood there wondering what to do….what this meant.



"That Ames. That's what I'm talking about." She said walking away even faster this time.



"Milena!" I yelled out.



"Ames, please don't." I saw her rushing into her building and I knew it would be better to walk away, to pretend like this night didn’t happen so we could still have some chance to stay friends, but my feet were following her. I entered her building, taking the stairs two at a time to help beat the elevator and when the doors opened she groaned.



“Go home Ames.” She looked like she might start crying and I didn’t understand but all I wanted was to pull her into my arms and make her feel better.



“Mila….” I shook my head as she brushed past me to get to her door. “Why are you so upset?! What is going on?” she turned to me a firey anger in her eyes I’d never seen before.



“Are you fucking kidding me?! There is no way you could be so stupid.” She shook her head and tried to slam the door in my face but I reached out my hand and blocked it, walking into her apartment before slamming the door behind me.



“I'm a lot of things. But stupid isn’t one of them.” I couldn’t tell whether her gaze was fire or ice but either way it was lethal.



“Well you could have fooled me! One minute your hand is up my skirt and then next your kissing me like I'm your great aunt Bertha!!! What the fuc.k?!” I blinked.



“Are you mad because I crossed a line with you tonight, or because I didn’t kiss you back?” I asked slowly, trying to process what was happening.



“It’s like you can’t decide whether or not to resist me Ames it’s infuriating!!!” I felt a jolt of anger go through me and I narrowed my eyes on her.



“I’ve been resisting you for five fucking years Milena, I'm not going to stop now.” I said in a rough voice and she blinked at me. The danger in her eyes vanished but the anger hadn’t yet quite dissipated. I could have kicked myself for saying it out loud, for admitting to ongoing feelings. For ruining our friendship for good…fu.ck. But she was taking a few steps closer to me and tilting her head up to look into my eyes.



“I thought I was a sister to you.” She said in a slow controlled voice. I groaned and slammed my fist against her wall.



“I say that to try and convince myself. To try and not think of you as anything but a woman who is completely off limits to me. It doesn’t work all the time. God the things I think about you….you would hate me.” She shook her head as if she was trying to process my words and ran her fingers through her hair.



“Try me.” Her voice was still hard and damn if that wasn’t hot as hell just like everything about her was. I shook my head. “You think you can scare me away? Try.” I growled and set my jaw as I took a deep breath and gave my thoughts free range to wander like I never did around her.



“Right now I'm thinking about using the ties on your curtains to bind your hands above your head and then taking you against the wall.” God it felt good to say that out loud. To admit it, even to myself. It could have been wishful thinking but I thought I saw intense desire flash across her face before the anger returned.



“Tonight when your hand was on my thigh…..Ames I’ve never been more turned on in my entire life.” She replied, mimicking what I had thought almost exactly. “Are you telling me I could have had more for five fucking years and you kept your hands off of me to be honorable?!”



“I'm not good for you.” I said roughly, hating that it had come to this.



"Good for me?" she narrowed her eyes. "One haven't I told you more than once that you're an amazing guy-"



"I drove a women to take drugs! She needed drugs to be with me!! An amazing guy wouldn't do that." I said seriously, losing control yet again with her but she didn’t do anything other than roll her eyes.



"Stop feeling so sorry for yourself Ames! Odette had problems because of herself! She's probably always had problems and it just happened to come out when she dated you." she sighed, "I know you hate hearing this, but you're a catch."



"And I'm just going to hurt any woman…" I told her, "Especially you." And that I’d never forgive myself for. Hell everyone I loved would never forgive me.



"You keep using that excuse! I'm not some delicate flower Ames. I'm an adult!"



"It doesn't matter. I grew up with you. I can take a chance on hurting some other woman, but not you! I refuse!! You're too amazing and special for that to happen.”



"I just don't understand why you think you would…"



"Because I'm emotionally unavailable!! Yes, I'm dating because I want to sleep around, but to emotionally involve someone in my life is hard! I don't want someone to fall for me when I can't fall for them." She didn’t understand and it was driving me nuts.



"God, why are you so damn stubborn?!” She growled. “Who says that I need a relationship? What if I just needed some good old fashion sex?!"



"Don't say that." I said through my teeth.



"Why not?! You want to know what I think? I am getting so turned on by the thought of you tying me up." Five years. Five years of resisting her was not going to go to waste now.



"Milena, stop."



"No! I haven't had sex in weeks and I would love rough sex right about now." she was glaring a look of determination and then….damn it. Lust. “You wouldn't believe how wet I am…" she added and I broke. It was too much. I crashed my lips against hers, tasting her, sliding my tongue into her mouth as she kissed me back just as hard. I had thought about kissing her like this a million times. But I never thought it could be so fucking fantastic…..too good to be true. I pulled back and got angry immediately.



"Is that what you want?!" I yelled out and she just nodded. My stomach flipped. She wanted me. She wanted me too. NO. "I can't. I will not hurt you and that's all I can see this ending in. You can't see it right now because you're hurt… but you will find an amazing guy who will treasure you. I just can't do that for you.”



"Ames-"



"No Milena. I can see why you do think this is good, but it's not." I took a deep breath before leaning over and kissing her forehead. “You will move on and it will be good for you. Just take time. I have to go." I said quietly as I forced myself to keep walking away. Ugh.