I'm standing in the flames and it's a beautiful kind of pain.

I'm standing in the flames and it's a beautiful kind of pain. by pinklipstiiick featuring a mini skirt

"Aunt Mila!!" Gabe screeched out as my sister opened the front door to her place, a look of confusion on her face before she broke into a smile.

"Gabe!" She grinned, grabbing him as he ran into her arms, "I missed you cutie!"

He made a face as she pressed a kiss against his temple, a quick swipe with his little hand to wipe the kiss away. "I missed you too," He grinned at her.

"I made your favorite," She gave him a small wink as he looked at her wide eyed.

"Lasagna?" He wriggled his way out of her arms, never liking to be held for too long.

"There's a plate ready for you on the table," She yelled out as he ran out of sight. Mila turned back to me and gave me a hug, "You look incredibly tan."

"I got tons of sun in Cote de Azure," I grinned.

She glanced at me and nodded, "You look happy."

I shrugged, unsure of what to tell my sister since Ben and I had decided not to tell anyone. Honestly, I think both of us were confused what exactly was going on between us. "We had such a good time... I relaxed and Ben and I focused on Gabe. It was exactly what we needed," I told her, being truthful, only leaving out a few important facts.

"Good." She smiled, watching me set my bag down on the ground and we headed towards the kitchen, "Wine?"

I nodded as she filled my glass and then filled hers all the way to the brim. I eyed my sister, noticing something was off. She usually looked happy, but right now? She looked tired. "Something we need to talk about?"

She swallowed and seemed to contemplate what to tell me. "It's nothing," She shook her head as she walked towards the living room where I could already hear Gabe watching some cartoon on.

I grabbed my sisters arm and stopped her, "What's going on?"

She shrugged, "As your life has been getting better, mines getting worse...."

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and worry, crossing my arms over my chest, "Mila."

"Well, first of all; Braden cheated on me and knocked some girl up..." She told me in a hushed tone, it taking everything in me not to tell her 'I told you so' while the rest of me wanted to drive over to Braden's house to kick his ass.

My mouth fell open, "Seriously?"

She nodded, "Oh yes. I met her after he proposed to me."

"Mila..." I trailed off in a disapproving tone, hoping she didn't say yes and take him back.

"I know I was stupid for saying yes. I'm reminded of it every day," She drank more of her wine.

"Maman!" Gabe interrupted the two of us, "Can I have more lasagna please?"

"Ill go get him some..." She said grabbing Gabes plate from him and plated more food for him and brought it back out.

"Thank you," He grinned before digging in.

We both took a seat on the couch as my little man got sucked into the TV once more. "So what else?" I asked with worried eyes.

"What do you mean what else?" She asked, stalling for some reason.

I let out a sigh, "He proposed and you said yes, you met the girl carrying his child, then what?"

"I'm more interested in your trip," She changed the subject, swishing her wine around in her glass. It was already half gone. "How long were you three gone anyways? It's felt like an eternity."

"A little over two months," I answered before shaking my head. "And don't you dare try changing the subject."

Mila laughed and bit down on her lip, looking away from me as her eyes scanned the back of Gabe's head. "Are you two back together now?" She asked in a whisper, bringing her eyes back up to mine.

"No," I replied. "Are you still with Braden?"

Her eyes widened as she looked at me, "Do you really think I have no self respect?"

"Of course not," I said quickly. "But you left off at the part where you told that idiot yes. What happened next?"

"It's over," She said flatly and I let out the breath I had been holding. "For good this time. I'm done with that asshole."

Gabe's head shot back at the word and his eyes widened, "I heard that!! Aunt Mila sweared maman!"

I nudged my sister with a shake to my head, "Thank you for that."

"Are you trying to tell me that you never swear around him?"

I grinned at the skeptical look on her face, "I don't. We have a swear jar."

"And you owe me a dollar now!" He grinned wider at his aunt.

"Give me my purse," She told him with a grin as he handed over the bag and she took a dollar out of her wallet, "Here you go."

"Thank you!" He kissed her cheek and went back to watching to TV.

She smiled at the back of his head, "I missed him." 

"We missed you… Come on Mila, tell me. If you don't tell me, who will you tell? I'm your sister and I'm not here to judge." 

She sighed and looked once more at Gabe before whispering, "I slept with Ames…"

I furrowed my eyebrows and took in that information slowly. My eyes widened before I gasped, "WHAT?!" Gabe turned his eyes towards us and looked at us confused. "What?" I said more quietly as I gave my baby a smile and he went back to watching TV.

"We had sex…" She said quietly, not wanting Gabe to hear.

"When?" I asked with my mouth open.

"A few weeks ago… but that's not the biggest problem…" 

"That's not your biggest problem?" 

She shook her head, "No... I slept with an ex after and Ames came to talk to me during that whole thing..." She trailed off as I sister opened my mouth before my sister covered it with a hand, "Shh."

I pushed her hand away, "Mila! What were you thinking?"

She shrugged, "I was sad and scared. It was so stupid... And now I think I lost Ames for good." 

I stared at my sister who looked on the verge of tears, wondering how the hell this could have happened, "Okay walk me through what happened after you slept with Ames."

She sighed, "I was at his place, making him dinner. This is of course after I kissed him the week before. He kept saying he couldn't do this with me and that he didn't want to hurt me. Then the next thing I know we're having amazing passionate sex-"

"I don't need details Mil," I raised a brow to make her laugh.

"Okay, fast forward to morning and he was sleeping and looked so happy and I got scared. He said it was only going to be one night. I wanted him to stay happy and not have to tell me it's only one night. So I left leaving a note." She sighed, "And then avoiding his call for two weeks. I went on a bender Cam... I was drinking, partying and anything that would get my mind of Ames. I went to a seedy bar and Callum was there-"

"Callum?! Mila, he was disgusting!" I interjected.

She nodded, "I know this, but the next thing that happened was that we were, you know and I called out Ames name."

"MILA!" I exclaimed and Gabe turned once more to look at the two of us with a quizzical look on his face.

"What's wrong Maman?" He asked curiously.

"Nothing… Aunt Mila and I are talking about some adult things," I told him with a small smile.

"It was all a mistake. Ames came to my place telling me he wanted me and I was ecstatic.. Until Callum stumbled half naked out of my room. I begged and pleaded with Ames to look past it and now he's ignoring me," She shrugged, looking down and her empty wine glass sadly.

I covered my face with my palms and  let out a breath, thinking about how in comparison to my sister? My own problems suddenly didn't sound bad at all. "Say something," Mila said after what felt like minutes had passed. 

"Mila..." I trailed off, noticing Gabe staring at us from the corner of my eye. "Why don't you go make yourself a sundae?"

"Really?" He widened his eyes and smiled.

"Yes," I smiled back at my baby. "With all the fixings." He jumped up and raced to the kitchen while we sat there alone in silence. I looked back at my sister and raised an eyebrow, "What were you thinking?"

She blinked back at me, "You could be a little more specific. Which part?"

"I don't even know where to begin... Ames?" I started and shook my head, "He's family! Do you realize that every holiday from now on is going to be awkward! 

It's almost Christmas!"

She narrowed her gaze on me and crossed her arms over her chest, "You're not looking at the point."

"And whats that?" 

"I want to be with Ames!!" She retorted and I resisted the urge to sigh, trying to pick and choose my words instead.

"You should have thought about that before you brought Callum back to your place," I shook my head again. 

"I was drunk."

"That doesn't make any difference," I said flatly. "And what, do you think that calling out Ames' name makes it any better? It doesn't." 

"You said that you weren't here to judge," She shot me a glare.

I sighed, "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to judge... It's just hard to wrap my head around all of this."

"That's exactly what I've been feeling, Cam." She pulled her legs towards her chest and wrapped her hands around them, "I haven't been able to talk to anyone." 

I stared at the tear running down her cheek, "You could have called me…" 

She shook her head, sniffing, "And ruin your vacation in paradise? No thank you. I was feeling miserable, but I didn't want to spread it." 

"I'm your sister. You've been there for me through… pretty much everything. I can return the favor," I leaned forward.

"Then help me now… What do I do? Have I completely ruined things with Ames? Or do you think there's some chance he could forgive me?" She blinked at me.

I licked my lips, trying to find the right words to tell her. "I don't want to say something that could hurt your feelings, but there's a chance he might not forgive you Mila…" I trailed off as she erupted into more tears.

"So that's it? We just had one night together and that's it. He came to tell me he wanted to be with me; do you think it'd be easy for him to get rid of those feelings now?"

I shrugged, "I don't know what Ames is feeling… Ben's told me that he's had feelings for you for a while now."

She exhaled, "You're kidding me?"

I shook my head, "Mila, I'm sure he's always had an attraction to you."

"And I've always had an attraction to him! I mean seeing him at Ava and Corey's Christmas party that year drove me insane! I just thought he always looked at me like a sister…"

"Normal guys don't sleep with their sisters," I grinned at her, making her shoot another glare my way.

"Thanks for pointing that out." She rolled her eyes, "I want him though… still. God, I just love being miserable." 

"You fall too hard… And you don't like being alone. That's not a good combination Mila."

"Who does? Being alone makes me miserable…" She sighed, "I wish there was something I could do to make it up to him…"

"Mila, that might not be a good idea…”

She furrowed both brows, “Then what do I do?!” 

“Maybe take a break from dating…”

My sister narrowed her eyes thinking about that, “Maybe I need to move on?” 

I raised an eyebrow, knowing exactly what she was trying to say, “You do not need to move on. You need to learn to be by yourself.”

“Like you?” She said a little too harshly.

“Nice Mil," I said simply.

“I didn’t mean it like that… I just don’t want to be alone.”

“It’s not a bad thing. It’s not like you’re infected and should be avoided at all costs. It’ll give you time to do your own thing. Expand your blog, maybe travel.”

She twiddled her thumbs and I knew my advice was already being pushed aside, “Set me up with someone.”

“Mila.”

She shook her head, “No, I’m serious. Set me up with someone; a good guy.”

“This isn’t a good idea," I said, crossing my arms and wondering how my sister was the one who ended up with daddy problems when she was clearly our fathers favorite.

She swallowed, “Maybe I’m pathetic, maybe I’m a mess, but right now… I don’t think I can be alone.” 

“You can though.”

“No, the thought is making me sick to my stomach. Please.”

I sighed, agreeing with her on the whole sounding pathetic part, “I feel like I’m enabling an addict Mila-“

“Maybe I am," She shrugged while I thought.

“I might know somebody…”

“Somebody?” 

“He’s a friend of Gabe’s pediatrician…” I trailed off, hating the idea already and not quite sure why I opened my mouth in the first place.

She nodded her head, "Do you think it's a good idea? Me dating a friend of Gabe's pediatrician?"

"Honestly? I think it's an awful idea," I admitted and stood up, taking a few steps so I could check on Gabe in the kitchen. A smile played on my lips while I watched him sitting at the counter, chocolate all over his face and adorable as ever. I looked back at Mila and shrugged, "You aren't going to take my advice though, so I might as well set you up with a good guy."

She rolled her eyes, "You're making me sound like a serial dater."

"Which you are," I nodded my head, grinning when she shot me a glare. "Look Mil, sometimes you need to love yourself before you can let someone else in and love you back."

"Are you talking about masturbation?" She raised an eyebrow at me and this time I laughed. My sister was ridiculous. 

"No!! I'm talking about you being single and finding yourself," I clarified. "You don't need a man to make you happy."

She smiled back at me, "Since when are you so wise?" 

"Since when do you have daddy issues? If anything, I should be the disaster dater because my dad never loved me as much as he loves my big sister," I crossed my arms over my chest, referring to the awful relationship I had with my father while him and my sister were practically best friends. I swear, life made no sense sometimes. 

She forced a pout, "Is my little sister having a pity party?"

I laughed, "No, that would still be you... I'm in a good place right now. I'm happy."

“What happened in Côte d'Azur?” She let a small smirk play on her lips. 

“Nothing. It was just nice to relax and spend time with Ben and Gabe at the same time. Gabe is so happy to be around him and I love seeing him that way," I bit my lip with a smile, leaving out the part that I was falling back in love with my ex... not that I ever really stopped. 

She nodded, “That’s really good Cam.” 

I smiled with a sigh, “So what did you plan for us tonight?”

“Ooh!” She exclaimed quickly as she jumped up and scurried to her room, returning with bags in her hands and a grin on her face. “Look at all these clothes I got!” She exclaimed happily as she dumped everything out onto the couch.

I raised an eyebrow, “Are we going clubbing?”

She looked back at me, “What’s wrong with these clothes?” 

“They just seem really dressy! Like we’re going to a nightclub.”

She shrugged, “I think they’re fine…”

“Does this dress even cover your ass?” I grinned as I pulled out a mini Versace dress. It was cute yes, sexy even, definitely not something I could wear to pick up Gabe from school.

She rolled her eyes, “This is so cute!! But forget about you; look at all the kids stuff I got for Gabe!” She squealed as she brought out a argyle sweater vest from the Dolce show, “Isn’t it so cute?” 

“I do like that for him.” I smiled, looking through the clothes, “Aww.” I pulled out a child’s tie, “Okay, it’s adorable.”

“I know. I want a kid so I can dress him or her up.” She laughed, “I think I’d have a lot of fun.”

“How about you dress up Gabe for now? Talk about kids more when you’re love life is a little more stable," I smirked.

She rolled her eyes, “A girl can dream…” 

“You will find that prince charming…” I started as I looked at my sister, “Just give it time.”

“We’ll see.” She looked down at the clothes, “Gabe! I got you some stuff!!”

He quickly ran into the room with chocolate all over his mouth and with wide eyes, “What did you get me?”

“Clothes," She grinned as his smile fell.

“That’s all?” He furrowed his brows.

“Gabriel," I scolded him.

“It’s okay Cam.” She grinned, “He’s a little boy and I’m sure there’s some toys around here that I got you, but these clothes will make you look more like your Papa.” 

“Thank you Aunt Mila.”

“You’re welcome little cutie," She told him as she kissed his forehead and he ran back into the kitchen.

“Thanks Mila… for all the clothes. I’m sure he’ll love them.”

“It’s nothing.” She shrugged, “They were free.”

“Well, how about enough of little boy clothes and we get a little more tipsy and try on all these clothes?” I suggested.

Mila grinned, “Sounds like fun."