don't you ever say i just walked away

don't you ever say i just walked away by ssaarah

I was woken up as a avalanche of something fell on top of me.

"What the hell?" I groaned as I looked at the piles of magazines littering my bed.

"Who did you tell?!" I sat up quickly, my eyes focusing on Amelia and how broken she looked, I reached out for her but she stepped back.

“What are you talking about?” I picked up a magazine and saw a picture of Amelia and I at a restaurant, speaking close, me pushing her hair back. We looked…..We looked like we were a couple. The headline said some bullshit about me getting back at Aria for leaving me by screwing her sister. Did these magazine people really have nothing better to do? “I didn’t tell anyone! I haven’t even told Aria because you told me you still wanted it to be a secret!”

 “Then what the hell Gavin?!” I looked through the other pictures, us walking down the street, my hand on her lower back, an intimate position but none of it screamed proof.

“It’s tabloid fodder Mia, it’s not like they caught us hooking up!”

“There are reporters all over your lawn!” I blinked back at her running my hand through my hair and then double taking.

“So you thought it would be a good idea to show that you had a key to my place?” I questioned slowly.

“I didn’t know who else to talk to! My agent is freaking out, I can go two steps without maybe causing a seizure from the damn lights….” I rolled my eyes and picked up my cell phone, sliding the number in to the nearest celebrity hotline. “What are you doing?”

“I'm getting the damn paps off my lawn.” I replied, slipping into a fake accent when the caller answered. “Yeah I'm downtown, and Miley and Liam are having a public fight right outside LAX….or maybe it’s a reunion, I can’t really tell.” Mia rose a brow at me as I kept talking before hanging up.

“You really think that’ll work?” she asked with her hands on her hips. I held up a finger and waited for the sounds of reporters getting in their cars and zooming off. Mia blinked and I shrugged.

“I started doing that when Aria and I moved in together and they were hoping for….well more of the same thing I'm guessing ,but I gave them good tips, nothing too extreme, just where some locals have lunch or some sh.t. Now they believe me every time.”

“Oh.” She sat down on the bed. “What are we going to do?” I tugged her closer and she let me wrap my arms around her this time, kissing the top of her head as she leaned into me.

“We could tell them we’re rehearsing for a show or a movie or something.” I suggested.

“That might work….” She trailed off.

“Or we could tell them the truth?” I offered instead and she laughed.

“Yeah that won’t make either of us look bad…..” she sighed and set her head in her hands.

“I’m not hiding us. I don’t care who knows Amelia, I'm not embarrassed we’re sleeping together….I’ve asked you to come to events with me.”

"I thought we agreed that we were going to keep it a secret?"

"Well you kept saying it and kept undressing so I kept nodding." I gave her a small grin to try and lighten the mood but she just sighed.

"Gavin, I'm being serious." I reached out and grabbed her hands in mine.

"Me too Mia… I really don't give a shit who knows about us. In fact, it's probably better this way. We don't have to hide anymore."

"The way you're talking Gavin, it seems like you want a relationship…" she trailed off, raising a brow.
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. It wasn’t like I was asking for something bigger than we were already doing was it? I’d had a girlfriend and honestly my relationship with Amelia was more stable.

"And if I am?" Mia shot up quickly and looked down at me.

“I'd ask if you're smoking crack!"

"I've been having an internal battle Mia. I don't hate you, not anymore and when I'm not with you, I want to be with you…" I trailed off looking at her, but knowing I wasn’t saying the right words.

"Gavin…" she trailed off.

"I'm being serious Amelia. What's the harm in us, whatever that is, goes public? Do you care about the public that much?"

"Of course not Gav, you know that. But don't you think this is crazy?" she said with a sarcastic laugh, "Wouldn't the old us ask 'what the fuck is wrong?'"

"Things change… I don't really give a fuck about the old us, or the public. I just don't really want to hide you anymore… I don't want to hide us." I shrugged.

"Gav, you don't think this is insane?"

“Yeah definitely.” I agreed.

“So you’re into the idea of telling the world we’re fuck buddies.” She asked slowly, as if she was laying it out for me and once I heard it I would back out.

“….I think we’re dating Mia.” I admitted, running my hand through my hair and she made a face.

“We’re not dating!!” she exclaimed so fast I had to admit it hurt a little.

“Well we’re not sleeping with other people and you spend more time in bed with me than in bed alone!” I pointed out.

“Yeah but dating would imply wanting to be together and we do not want to actually be together….we don’t get along as people. Just…..sexually.” she trailed off.

“Okay.” I agreed, since I didn’t want to get her more upset than she already was. “So we admit to sleeping together. What’s the worst that can happen?” she blinked at me.

“Um the press calls me a slut and that I'm taking my sisters leftovers?!” I widened my eyes, my whole body going cold at that statement.” I threw off my covers and stood up, glaring at her as I put on some sweatpants.

“Is that what you think?!”

“Gavin…” she trailed off.

“Aria and I were never together, we never wanted to be together!”

“Oh so nothing ever happened between you two?! In all the years you’ve been friends?”

“Is that what you still think?! That I'm fucking you in some pathetic attempt to be close to Aria? Or to get back at her for not choosing me?! I never wanted her!!!”

“You didn’t answer my question.” She replied, standing closer to me and folding her arms over her chest.

“We kissed.” I admitted. “Once. We don’t have the kind of chemistry people who should be together have. The kind of chemistry that WE have!” I said, pointing between us as I said the word “we”.

“We don’t have chemistry Gavin we have sex!!!”

“Yeah you’ve thrown that in my face a few times in the last 20 minutes. And if you’re so worried about it, why don’t you just stop sleeping with me?!”

"That's not what I was trying to say! You just know how my relationship with Aria is. I've always felt inferior to her! Sleeping with her best friend has been a scary thought!"

"Aria and I are just friends. Just like you and that dick Seb are." I glared at her. "Aria is dating him or whatever and you've never been together with him. The same thing is with Aria and me."

 "I've thought about Seb before..." Oh good lord. I brushed past that annoying piece of information to yell some more.

"And I've thought about Aria! But like I said it was nothing! That kiss I had with her years ago wasn't even a tiny bit as good as when I kiss you Amelia! There has to be something good between us. Or it wouldn't have worked so well for this long."

"Gavin!" she was shaking her head, "I'm not trying to be mean, I swear."

"Well do you think that telling me we're just sleeping together is a big confidence boost?!" I yelled back at her.

"I thought that was what you preferred Gav..." I sighed. She just didn’t get it, or maybe she hadn’t been feeling what I had for the past few months.

"Yeah there are things that you do that infuriate me, but then there's things that I enjoy about you. I've been confused." I groaned.

"What are you saying?"

"I don't know..." I swallowed, "What would be the harm in putting the dating label on us?"

"Other than the fact I'm a complete mess and have issues with guys?!l" I just blinked. What the hell did that have to do with me? With us?!

"In addition to sleeping with each other Amelia, we've had amazing conversations that show me how you really are. I know you're amazing... Much better than you think of yourself..."

"Gavin..." she trailed off as she looked back at me. "I'm too damaged; too fucked up for anyone. You even thought that!"

"I was an idiot! I didn't look deeper when I should have.."

"Gavin, We can't... I'm too screwed up." That was her excuse? That she was too screwed up? Fine. I give up.

"Then we should probably stop whatever this is."

"Gavin..." she trailed off.

"No you're right. I don't want you to come off as a slut to the press."

"I'm sorry Gavin..." For what part? Accusing me of telling the press? Accusing me of being in love with your sister? Or just for turning me down over and over. But I didn’t say that. I didn’t say any of that. Instead I just shook my head.

"Don't be. You're doing this for your career. It's understandable." She looked like I’d slapped her for a minute but isn’t that what she’d said herself? Then out of nowhere she was stepping closer to me, and I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around her.

"These were the best months of my life Gav." She told me honestly.

"Mine too." I ignored my head telling me not to and leaned in to kiss her pretty mouth, "You should go now though. If you stay any longer I might have to ravish you."

"Okay..." she looked like she was having an inner monologue in her head….but she didn’t say anything else except a whispered goodbye before leaving.