i'm always there with you

i'm always there with you by ssaarah

"Can we please!?" Gabe asked, jumping up and down and looking like the super cutie he was.
"Please was the magic word little man." Cami grinned. "Let's go pick up dessert for everyone what do you say?"

"Yay!!!! Auntie Chloe do you want dessert too?" I smiled and reached out to grab my nephew and place kisses all over his little face. "Eww stop it!!" He squealed.
"I do want dessert. Get me whatever you're having."
"Auntie Chloe is a copy cat." Ben smirked at us and I shrugged.
"I just think Gabe has the best taste." I winked at him and he grabbed Cami's hand.
"Come on let's go!!!" Cami laughed and reached out to kiss Ben and wink at me before her son pulled her out the door. I slumped on the couch setting my feet on the ottoman in front of me.
"I never knew painting could take so much out of me." I grinned. We had spent the day painting finishing touches on Cami's new gallery, and though it had been fun being all together, messing around with the paint before getting serious? It had been hard work. My arms killed.
"Getting old are we?" Ben teased, handing me a mug of coffee.
"Super." I let him tease me. "It must be worse for you you're even older!"
"Oh yes." Ben sighed and furrowed his brows, "Speaking of which, did you see where I left my cane?" I laughed and grabbed a cushiong to hit him with.
"Oh stop it. You're not that old." He shrugged as he leaned back against the couch.
"Sometimes I feel 40, sometimes I feel 16." I smirked, because getting your soulmate back and also having a kid could do that to you but no one did it better than my big brother.
"I'm tempted to ask you why but I'm afraid of what you could tell me."
"I feel 40 when I'm tired and my son is throwing a tantrum and Cami is more tired then I am so we're just one frustrated family." he was grinning though, I knew he loved it instead, "And I feel 16 when everyone's happy, I don't have anything on my mind and everything's exciting."
"So that never happens." I pointed out point black before breaking into a laugh. Ben poked my side where I was the most ticklish I squealed as he glared at me.
"It happens a lot more lately instead."
"I wonder if it has anything to do with the huge engagement ring Cami's wearing." I pointed out and Ben gave me a grin so silly looking it might ruin his career if I let a picture of it leak to the press.
"Maybe just a little." he winked at me, "Did you like the ring?"
"It's fit for a princess." I said seriously, knowing his taste was pretty good after being in the fashion world for so long.
"You would say that." Ben rolled his eyes and I laughed, everyone knowing that I was the romantic in the family even if Ben was probably a close second, or even a tie.
"I'm happy for you. Also I told you so. A million times I told you so." I added, grinning at my brother.
"Yes, yes we should all listen to the ever brilliant relationship advice from Chloe Lindsell." I nodded.
"That's right." I agreed.
"How are you doing Chlo?" He asked, looking genuinely interested and not at all judgemental, but then he didn't have anything to judge me for yet.
"Good. Busy with school and work but learning about business is much more exciting than it sounds." I laughed.
"Is it?" He quirked a brow. "Why are you getting a business degree anyways?"
"I want a degree and though I love being a model I only have a few good years left, I'm hoping to stay in the business but more behind the scenes like mom and dad." I admitted.
"Mmm." He nodded and shifted on the couch.
"How come you never went back to school?" I asked seriously. He blinked back at me.
"I had a child to support."
"Yeah but you've been a model for enough time to take a break and get a degree." I pointed out.
"Kids cost more than you think." I nodded, agreeing that though I would do anything for Gabe I had no idea what it was like to be a parent. But money? That was one thing he wasn't lacking.
"You have a trust fund Ben. We both do. I'm not saying you need a degree to be successful I just know it was something you always wanted. Its weird that you didn't go back to that dream." He leaned back on the couch and I could see him thinking it over.
"You know Chlo, at the beginning I thought I would. I mean when Cami got pregnant I thought that after a while I'd go back to college, that being a model would be only temporary..." he trailed off, getting lost in his own thoughts. I shifted on the couch and propped an elbow up to rest my head on as I looked at Ben.
"What happened to that thought? I know what happened in your life but I've always had a hard time reading your mind instead." I said softly.
"Maybe that's for the best." he joked.
"I'm serious my dear brother of mine."
"I think that life happened." he shrugged, "Time flew and things only got harder. There was a baby to take care of, and then there was the same baby to take care of but without his mom by my side. I knew that both Cami and I acted like responsible adults when we broke up, but we were both heartbroken and all I could think about was Gabe and how I wanted him to have the best possible family even if I wasn't with his mom anymore."
"Oh Ben...I knew how that was for you." I said quietly, offering him a genuine smile as he set my hand on his arm, "I could tell from the look into your eyes." He shrugged.
"I forgot about my dreams eventually, I just put them aside because I had a kid whose dreams and future were more important than mine and even if it was hard I don't regret anything."
"You did a great job with him, even when I hated you a little I always thought you were an amazing dad." I smirked a little, setting my head on the cushion behind me.
"Thank you." he grinned back at me. "So now you know what happened and why I'm still stuck being a brainless model." I hit him.
"Hey, I'm a model too!"
"You're going to school so you're of course smarter than me." he kept grinning as he teased me but I felt the pride behind his words anyways and I also knew I was beaming from his compliment.
"I still don't get it completely though. You had the money, you still do, you could have afforded going back to college."
"But what if I needed them for Gabe? What if something happened? Something unexpected? I didn't want to go to mom and dad and ask for their help, they already did so much for me."
"Benjamin, my brother, the man who worries too much." I said in a silly voice and he groaned, "I'm joking! You've been really responsible Ben. But what about now? You got the girl and can finally have the family you've always wanted...what is it holding you back?"
"Cami's opening her own gallery, we're getting married and we plan on having another baby. And moving to a bigger apartment." he said simply, "Do you think I can take a break of few years to go back to school? I don't think so. I lost my chance and it's okay, I'm a lucky man even without having a degree."
"But what will you do? You hate being a model...and even though you're good at it? It's not fair to take the spot of someone who has a passion for it." I said seriously. 
"Your therapist has made you too wise." Ben said, leaning back and studying me. "All these deep thoughts coming out of your mouth instead of talk of parties and boys all the time." I laughed and shrugged.
"Looks like i grew up a little too." I winked at him.
"I've talked about taking over BMM from mom and dad." Ben said finally, making my smile fade as I looked up at him.
"What?" I asked quickly.
"What part didn't you get?" He asked, giving me a wary look.
"The part where you're saying you don't want to go to school but you want to run a company." I replied, a snap in my voice even if I hadn't meant there to be.
"Are you saying you don't think I can?" He asked, his eyes narrowing on me.
"I don't think you know how Ben."
"You're right. But I can learn." I shook my head and stood up, pacing the room slowly.
"So let me get this straight. You don't want to take money from mom and dad to get a degree but you're perfectly fine with them handing you a company without having any training on how to run it?"
"I wouldn't be doing it alone."
"This would be a job where you'd have to travel, have long hours, have to go to every party and dinner and gala there is. You hate all those things."
"Why are you getting angry Chloe?"
"Because you don't even like this company! You hate being a model and that's fine but everytime you say it it hurts me because I love it. Because it's who I am, not just what I do. It's not an easy job, it takes a lot of work to do what we do, no matter how much you say it's just smiling in front of a camera. And if you want to run a company full of people who are as passionate about the modeling industry as I am? Then you have to start treating the profession with some respect."
"Wow." Ben blinked at me, standing up which sucked because he was taller. Not by much but still.
"Wow?"
"That makes a lot of sense Chlo, hopefully I'll have you by my side to help me with those things."
"What?" I was expecting Ben to shut down and tell me to leave like he usually did when I got angry. But then usually I was angry about nothing. This was important to me.
"First of all? Sit down." he said quietly and when I raised one eyebrow at me he pointed at the couch. Looks like it was back to father Ben instead of brother Ben. "You're making me crazy with all that pacing." I slumped on the couch and crossed my arms against my chest, glaring up at him.
"Is this when you start screaming at me? Because if this is what you have in mind, I think I don't want to stay here and listen." Ben took a deep breath as he sat next to me and set a hand on my knee. Yup. Father figure Ben was back.
"I don't want to fight with you, we already fought enough for ten years..." he trailed off.
"Agreed." I said shortly, nodding. I had had just about enough of fighting.
"Let me get a few things straight Chlo." he started, collecting his thoughts, "I never made fun of our job-"
"But you always say-" I cut him off but he did right back.
"We are privileged." he pointed out. "We get to travel all around the world, see beautiful places, we don't have office hours and we get paid a lot. That of course comes with a price too, there's a downside, because it's hard leaving your home and it's hard to spend neverending hours on some flights, it's annoying to be careful about what you eat and it sucks working out even when you don't don't really want to. But come on, we're not miners, most of people have jobs there a lot harder. That's what I think about our job, and even if it wasn't my dream job I learned to love it, because it allowed me to take care of my son without asking for anyone's help."
"I still don't understand why you want to take over the agency." I retorted, going straight to the point as I looked at him seriously but his speech had calmed me quite a bit.
"Mom got the idea." he confessed, and I felt my chest ache at his words.  "I thought about it a lot and I wouldn't mind it at all. The fashion industry is what I know more than anything else, because let's be real Chlo, I can't start from anything else from zero since I have to take care of other two people. And believe it or not, the more I think about it, the more excited I get."
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"I needed time to think because believe it or not, I'm not sure myself if I'll be able to do it. I don't know if I have the right skills...you can see me as confident, but I'm just as insecure as you are." he said softly, showing a vulnerability I hadn't seen in Ben since he was 12 and asked me if I really thought Cami liked him.
"Ben..." I trailed off.
"I never wanted to keep you out of this, if I'm really going to take over the agency is with you by my side. I couldn't make it any other way, I need your support." he paused, leaning back on the couch as he spoke quietly, "You're doing things the right way, and I'm proud of you for that, you're going to school and once you'll be done you'll have all the knowledge you need. You still have many years of modeling because you're gorgeous and you're just like mom, but you'll start taking care of the agency too. I'll have to learn on the field, with the help of mom, dad, Ames, everyone, I can't go back to school. In my mind this could work, you could handle some aspects and I'd handle others...but if you don't want that too? It's a deal breaker for me. If you want the agency all for yourself I'll step back and do something else, that's sure just as it's sure that I could never take over mom's and dad's inheritance without my sister by my side." I felt....I felt shocked. Completely at a loss for words. So much that I kept opening my mouth to speak but nothing came out. Maybe I thought I had grown up a little? But so had Ben, as much as being a father at a young age had forced him to? In some ways he was still just a 20 something year old but all the things he had just said made him sound much wiser than his young years.
"Are you going to talk?" Ben asked.
"I don't even know what to say." I said honestly. "I know that sometimes I speak before thinking and I should have let you explain first." I leaned closer to my brother and smiled. "If this is something that will really make you happy? Then I'm thrilled. If I was upset before it was because I thought you were taking a dream away from someone else even though you didn't really want it.
"Someone like you you mean?" He asked softly. I sighed.
"Probably. I guess I don't know why mom and dad didn't come to me too." I admitted, shrugging.
"Chloe are you done modeling?" He asked me.
"Of course not. I love being a model, for all the reasons you said and more." He nodded.
"Don't you think Mom and Dad know that? That they're happy you've found something you love and would never take you away from that? I am done though, I want to move on, and by the time I'm ready and have learned enough to really take over? You'll be by my side."
"I guess I never thought you'd want to work with me Ben." I admitted. He widened his eyes.
"Why?"
"I don't know. We used to be friends, best friends, you me and Cami. But lately you're more like my father and a father that I'm constantly dissapointing. Why would you want to work with someone that you think is awful most of the time?"
"If I was acting like a father it was because you were acting like a child. You're not anymore. And I started calling you awful way before you were actually being awful. It's not serious. Chloe I don't just love you because you're my sister. I actually like you."
"....really?" I asked because honestly? Sometimes I wasn't sure.
"I like the real Chloe. I'm not much of a fan of the one you were a few years ago, and I know sometimes I'm still worried that you'll turn into her again, but you have to understand what a hell that was for me. You're acting like I just stopped being your friend but you were the one who pulled away first."
"You're right." I nodded. "I don't know why I blame you for our relationship sometimes." I winced. "It was mostly my fault."
"We were both to blame. But hopefuly now we're old enough to get over petty problems." I opened my mouth to ask him if that included who I was dating, but I decided we'd made enough progress for one day. I didn't want to push it.
"You really want to go to all the parties and events mom has to?" I asked. "You hate that." Ben laughed.
"Of course not. That's why I have you." He winked and I laughed, leaning against the couch.
"Ahh, I get to do all the fun stuff then." I smirked back at Ben.
"All the awful stuff instead."
"Awful stuff for an awful girl." I winked, making Ben laugh again, the easy carefree laugh I hadn't heard from him in a while. "Just so you know? I think you'll rock at it. Running the agency. Especially if it's something you're really excited about. Hell you're a top model and you don't even like it. Think of how successful you'll be with something you do like."
"I dunno, my pretty face can't get the paperwork done." He teased.
"I'll be too busy at the parties so your pretty face will still have to figure it out."
"I hope I will." he smiled and I felt more content than I had in a long time. "I'm so glad we were able to talk about this without kicking each other's face." he added, I broke into a laugh because never had we actually resorted to violence. At least not since I was 5 and pushed him off his bike.
"It was about time!" I joked.
"I hope that from now on we'll be able to do that always."
"I think we can." I said seriously, and Ben looked back, clearly debating something in his head before deciding to talk about what was on his mind.
"Prove it." he challenged me eventually, smirking still and I rose a brow at him.
"You prove it."
"I talked to Tristan." he announced. Woah. Not expecting that one. I slumped against the couch.
"Oh man. Maybe I don't want to prove it anymore."
"Come on Chlo." he nudged me. "You don't even have to talk if you don't want to. But I have things to tell you."
"You said you didn't want to hear of him from me." I pointed out as I gave him a wary look because that had hurt me a little. I never wanted to be family who kept big things from each other and he had wanted that.
"Tristan and I are on good terms again. I couldn't really stay without my best friend..." he trailed off and shook his head, "I told him that I'm okay with you two dating or whatever, as long as no one gets hurt in some stupid way."
"People get hurt all the time Ben. You and Cami got hurt and it wasn't anyone's fault."
"You're right."
"But look at where you are now. Happy, in love, starting a new life."
"You say that as if you want what me and Cami have." He said raising a brow at me. I smiled.
"Benji, I have always wanted what you and Cami have. Even when we were little I hoped that a guy would look at me the way you look at her." Ben smiled and leaned back against the couch.
"I don't want to pry...." He said though I could tell he was curious about Tristan.
"We're taking things slow." I smirked, giving him both what he wanted and not getting into the too much information territory about the way Tristan had woken me up this morning. I felt my whole body blush as I thought about it.
"By the way you're blushing right now? I don't want to hear anything else." Ben winced and I laughed.
"Ooops." I smirked. "Have you started wedding planning yet? I want to wear blue I think."
"I don't think that's up to you silly girl."
"I know, but if Cami is talking about wedding colors you could casually slip in how pretty blue is."
"You're awful.....what is a wedding color?" I laughed.
"Oh you're in for so much awesome girly planning. I can't wait to watch."
"Cami's in charge, I'll just be her slave and agree to anything she wants."
"Aren't you going to give her your opinion?" I raised one eyebrow at him because let's be honest Ben was kind of a control freak.
"I know it's our day, but what really matters to me, more than anything, is that she's happy." He explained, sounding just like the whipped man he was.
"See? Can't you understand why I've always wanted the love you two have?" I said back, half teasing.
"I told her I want one thing though." he smirked and I scrunched up my nose.
"Is it gross? Because I'm not sure if I want to know."
"I want a macarons tower."
"That's all?" I asked back and when he nodded, I laughed. "That's not bad."
"I'm a very reasonable man." he nudged me a little, still smiling. "And there will be things I'll only get to decide about."
"Like what?"
"Like what I'll wear."
"You're so bad it will take you forever to pick a tux."
"I'll have Tristan and Gabe to help me. Dad too probably."
"Sounds like a man date." I laughed.
"Don't be jealous." Ben smiled and I leaned in to kiss him on the cheek.
"I'm so happy. Mostly because now Cami will be my sister for real." Ben rolled his eyes.
"Yes, I'm so glad my wedding makes all your dreams come true." I grinned.
"Getting my best friend as my sister and having dibs on the best man? Yeah, pretty much my dream wedding." I agreed. Ben quirked a brow at me.
"Dibs huh?"
"Assuming he doesn't dump me between now and then." I shrugged, realizing I'd brought up Tristan again without thinking but you know what? I was happy, and Ben seemed okay with it now. If I talked to much he'd shut me up.
"You'd have to be actually dating someone to dump them." He pointed out.
"You would wouldn't you?" I agreed. Ben nodded and then let out a deep breath.
"Leave it to you to fall for my best friend." He said finally. I rolled my eyes.
"You're one to talk. At least I'm not marrying him." Ben laughed.
"Your wedding toast is going say I told you so in all the different languages you know isn't it?" He asked.
"See now you're just reading my mind big brother. Careful with that you don't really want to know everything that goes on up here." I said, tapping my head. Ben reached over and knocked on it gently, making a face of false concentration.
"I can hear nothing. It must be empty." he said before breaking into a laugh. Men.
"God you're so silly. How can Cami marry you?" I teased and he grinned wider, his eyes bright and his face full of mischief.
"Do you really want to know?" he said back and I groaned.
"No thanks." Though that had given me another thought. "You and Cami are going to make more babies, right?" Ben shrugged.
"Probably." he answered.
"If you'll have a girl, will you call her Chloe?" I asked, smirking back at him with the same look he'd given me less than a minute ago. Ben laughed and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close to him.
"There can be one Chloe Lindsell only."