Lovers hold on to everything.

I led Gabe through the last loft with my hand on his back, beside me Ben holding my other hand while the realtor explained everything she knew about the space. Honestly, it looked like the last two. Lofts were getting smaller and smaller in Paris, while the prices did the opposite. "Is there a backyard?" Gabe wrinkled his nose while she eyed him curiously, making it known that she didn't like kids around while she did her job. "I want a backyard so I can play with my toys and have a pool like grandma does!"

"There is no space for a pool," She shook her head with a fake smile on her face. "But you can fit toys back there."

I shrugged at Ben as we walked towards the french doors that she pushed open, showing us a backyard that might fit two chairs. if we were lucky. "My toys won't fit back here," Gabe pouted stubbornly. 

Ben let go of my hand and picked him up, "Didn't you love the bedroom?"

"I didn't," He said in the same town, still pouting. He was becoming more and more used to us being together, but now he found something to complain about always. "I like my other house instead."

"Which one?" I smiled at him, my smile usually contagious to our little boy. 

"Papas," He said and nuzzled his dad's shoulder, setting his head on it and looking exhausted. 

"Are you tired little man?" I ran a hand through his hair while the realtor checked her phone, probably wishing she was anywhere but with us right now. 

"No," He replied but closed his eyes. 

Ben shifted his weight to get a better grip on our boy, looking at me and then the woman who was still texting. "I think that will be it for today," He said and she looked up at us, almost looking shocked to find us still in the house. 

She nodded her head, "I will continue looking for a three bedroom loft with a big backyard... possibly a pool," She added in a monotone, knowing that places like that didn't exist. 

"Thank you," I smiled at her anyways, more interested now in getting Gabe back to Ben's apartment which was two blocks away, not far except that we walked and now Gabe was passed out in his dad's arms.

"Thank you, bye," He threw a polite smile at the woman before we walked out the loft, silence falling between us as we headed to his place. I was deep in my thoughts, wondering why it was so hard to find a decent place to live. We'd only been looking for a few weeks, but it kept feeling more and more impossible.

"He's asleep," I said in a soft voice as I looked at Gabe before eyeing Ben, "What do you think about the last one?"

He studied my expression, "Honestly? I'm not crazy about it."

"I hated it," I said back with a serious frown on my face that made him smile since it was so genuine. 

"We'll keep looking," He said in a reassuring tone, adjusting Gabe against him once again because he wasn't a baby anymore and didn't weigh like one either.

"I'm starting to think we'll never find what we want," I sighed as I crossed my arms against my chest, not wanting to be so negative, but it was hard. 

He stopped in front of the door of his loft building, waiting for me to fish the key out of my bag, "We'll have to compromise eventually."

"Sure but with what?" I said back as I unlocked the door, pushing it open and following him up the stairs. "We don't want a small place, it'd be better if it was in the same zone of the agency and of Gabe's school too..."

"And close enough to my parents since they help us a lot with Gabe when we both work," He added, heading to the couch and bending over to set our perfect son down.

"Pajamas mom," He muttered as he rolled over onto his side, not awake but not sleeping, though his eyes were still close.

"It's not pajamas time yet baby," I whispered as I kissed his forehead, "You can nap until dinner's ready."

Ben kept his eyes on Gabe, smiling the entire time, "I doubt that he'll wake up." 

"I will," He muttered under his breath, making us smirk since he was so stubborn. 

I sighed and shook my head, walking to the kitchen, "Where were we?" I asked once he followed me.

"To the point where we'll have to compromise," He answered quietly. 

I grinned, not wanting where we would live and raise a family to be something we'd have to compromise on... I didn't want us to settle on a place unless we loved it. But honestly? I really just wanted to be with Ben. 

"I want this to be the place where we raise our family..." I trailed off, meaning more than just the two of us and Gabe. I wasn't ready for another baby now, but one day I would be... maybe two more, who knew?

Ben nodded and wrapped his arms around me while I leaned against the counter, "I know that."

I took a deep breath since I knew that we weren't on the same page and kept my eyes on him, "I think that maybe we should look at houses... Not anything huge, but big enough for Gabe and our future babies to run free like wild kids."

He laughed at my words, but his expression didn't quite reach his eyes. I wasn't sure why he wanted to get such a small place, but an apartment wasn't how I had imagined growing old. Families needed something bigger. "How many babies are you planning on having?" He asked finally, skirting around the main subject.

"One more," I shrugged my shoulders, knowing first hand that sometimes life just happened. I mean, we didn't plan Gabe... not so soon at least. "Maybe two... I don't know."

"I don't think we have to decide that right now," He offered a smile, meaning his words. 

I looked up at him, "Yes but what do you think?" 

"About babies?" He asked and when I nodded he went on, "One or two more...I don't know, I guess we'll figure after our next one if we want a third kid. I'm not against it anyway."

"So how do you imagine our place to be? I mean your ideal place," I said slowly, almost carefully, keeping my eyes on him since I knew that we weren't on the same page... But I wanted to be. We'd made so many mistakes in the past, gave up on us because we stopped agreeing on everything, too many arguments that just drained us. I wanted to do everything right this time which meant that I couldn't be stubborn over this.

He took a deep breath, "My ideal place is where you're happy with me and with our son." 

I smiled at his answer and let my arms wrap around him in an embrace, feeling my heart speed up because he literally said the right thing always. Maybe I went into today all wrong, too negative about the lofts we were looking at. "What if we kept your place instead?" I smiled at him, ready for a change and for us to move on and grow together... but he was right, it didn't matter where we did that as long as we were together. 

"There's only two bedrooms," He replied and pushed my hair out of my face, studying my face since my opinion seemed to be all of the place suddenly. 

"We can move later on when we need more space," I shrugged, knowing that it'd be a while. "You live close to Gabe's school and your parents... The agency isn't a far drive either."

"Is that what you want?" He asked, always putting me first. I wanted whatever he wanted. 

"We're here now and I'm happy with you and my son," I said sincerely, setting my hands on his waist and slipping them under the back of his shirt to rest on his back. "If we find our dream place in the meantime? Then we can move... but we can stop looking."

He looked at me, pushing the hair off my forehead as he processed my words. "I think you deserve more than this." He said seriously, motioning around us at his loft. 

I furrowed my eyebrows as I kept eye contact, "What do you mean more? I have you and Gabe, that's enough for me."

He smiled at my words, a genuine smile that made my heart melt, "It's not enough for your clothes. All your stuff would never fit here," He replied as his smile turned into a smirk. He had a point though, his closet barely held his clothes alone. The man liked shopping. "Neither would Gabe's toys." 

I let out a sigh knowing that he was right, but still feeling a little stubborn since looking for a place was draining on top of all the other things we had to do daily. I just wanted to live with my boys already; come home to Ben and Gabe, make them dinner then spend the rest of the night in bed with the man I loved. "So until then, we keep going back and forth between our places?" I pouted, feeling bad for making Gabe do it his whole life since it sucked. It was hard having to run back to my place in the morning just because I forgot the wrong makeup or didn't have clean panties. 

"Why are you pouting?" He grinned at me and then lowered his head to kiss my forehead. I pouted even more because I wanted real kisses instead. 

"Because you're right," I said with another sigh. "But it's hard work going back and forth... I don't know how Gabe ever did it without any complaints."

"He's making up for all the lost complaints now," He sighed himself, our boy had always been such an angel, no wonder why now he was in a little of a rebellious phase.

"It could be worse," I said back as I rested my cheek against his chest, genuinely exhausted. 

He nodded his head in agreement, both of us lost in thought. "What do you want to do baby?" He asked eventually, breaking the silence and causing my head to tilt back when I looked up at him with a questioning look. "If you want I can stay at your place until we find the right one." 

I felt my eyes widened and then a sincere smile made its way onto my lips. I wasn't sure what I had done to deserve such an amazing man, but god was Ben perfect. I was an idiot to waste so many years not being with him... I should have followed my heart because I clearly never got over him. "I'm happy with whatever you want. Honestly," I said seriously, tired but happy. As long as I was with him? I couldn't really complain... maybe whine a little, but that was different.

He grinned and tucked my hair behind my ear then cupped my chin, "If we keep answering each other with that every time? We'll end up resenting each other."

"I'd never resent you," I smiled and studied his hazel eyes, they were so gorgeous. "But you're right about the other part."

"I'm right a lot," He grinned back at me and moved his hands back around my waist. 

I grinned back at him, "If you want to stay at my place, I'm fine with that... more than fine with it actually."

"Okay then," He smiled at me, planting a kiss on my forehead then on my lips, "I'll take some of my stuff at your place next weekend."

I let out a breath I had been holding for a while, finally relieved that we had solved that one rather easily. "I can help you pack..." I trailed off then blinked, wondering where everything would go since my place wasn't much bigger than his. "Will you sell your apartment?" 

"Not until we find our final one so that I can keep my things here," He reasoned out loud since he probably hadn't thought about that either. "We just have to break the news to Gabe but I doubt he'd have anything to complain about."

"He's probably still too excited over going to fishy camp," I commented with a smirk on my face before nuzzling his neck. "You had a good idea, he's going to love swimming so much."

"Chloe had the idea actually," He said as a sad tone took the place of the careless one he had minutes ago. 

I pulled my head back with a frown and found his face looking as sad as I felt for the two of them. While Chloe admitted she was hurt, Ben kind of tiptoed around the subject since he didn't like putting me in the middle of their arguments. Of course I loved the both of them, but I didn't like being caught up in drama... especially when it involved the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. "I'll thank her the next time I see her then," I responded. He nodded his head and looked like he wanted to say something but wasn't sure about it. "I told her about us and she's happy... she said that she already knew it, but you lied to her."

He groaned and his mood changed just slightly, "We decided you'd tell her."

"But you answered my door naked?" I grinned, thinking about how I'd like for Ben to be naked right now.

He grinned back at my expression, as if he could read my thoughts, "I was wearing a towel."

"You look so good when you're all wet and wearing nothing but a towel..." I trailed off, now my thoughts on Ben in the shower.  

"I know you like that, I was waiting for you..." He trailed off and tilted his head down to press kisses up my neck, hiding his handsome face from me. He knew exactly how to distract me.

"I wish," I tangled my fingers in his hair and forced him to pull his head back gently, studying his face while he attempted to look as normal as possible, "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing specific," He said, leaving something out. "I talked to my mom the other day and she said something about how I should be thinking about taking over the agency..."

I stared at him, surprised since the agency was everything to Ava and I couldn't imagine her retire any time soon. I mean, our parents were still young. "And what did you say?"

"That I'd think about it," He said quietly, frowning and looking a little lost. "What do you think about it instead?"

"I think that it's big news," I said slowly, genuinely happy for Ben though since BMM was his parents baby and if they trusted him to take it over? Well, that was huge. But on the other hand, a lot went into making that agency run smoothly. 

He nodded his head, "They've also had offers to sell."

"I bet." That wasn't a big surprise. Ford, Elite, anyone else who mattered in the industry, they all wanted a piece of BMM's model directory and not just that, but we were known for the best everything from hair and makeup to photographers. "So you've thought about it and what do you think?"

"I just asked you the same question," He grinned back at me, his confusion still showing in his expression. 

I smiled back at him, "I think it'd be a lot of responsibility, but I know that you could do it."

He nuzzled my neck again and let out a sigh, "You overrate me." 

"You're an amazing man," I responded honestly, not only happy for him but proud to, whether he stayed a model or took the next step. "And your parents obviously agree with me since they've asked you."

He let out a slow breath and hid his face against my neck once again, "Thanks baby." He pulled his head back, "I don't have to take a decision now anyway. And Chloe is of course involved too, so..."

"Everything will be all right, just give yourself some time," I said back and gave him an encouraging smile, wanting him to know that I'd support him whatever decision he made.

"You're so wise and I'm so lucky," He grinned at me, meaning it and also making the moment lighter. He pressed a kiss against my lips, "We should think about more urgent things now."

I grinned back, wrapping my arms around his waist loosely, "Like what?"

"Food. I'm famished," He announced before attacking my neck, biting, sucking, kissing and tickling me.

"Ben." I started giggling, wriggling in his hold, "BEN!"

"Maman?" Gabe's voice pulled us back to reality and we both turned in his direction.

"Hey little man, I think we should eat maman," Ben said in a playful tone, for once meaning his words to be completely innocent.

Gabe wrinkled his nose before rubbing his sleepy eyes with the backs of his little hands, "I'm hungry, but for food... not for maman."

I laughed and tried not to pout as Ben pulled away, walking over to Gabe and picking him up. While Gabe had improved a lot since the day we told him about us, he was still in this rebellious stage, wanting to question and fight everything we said. He didn't want to go to sleep when we put him down for Ben, he never wanted to eat what we had cooked for dinner... It was getting frustrating. Luckily, we were together on this one now and two sets of hands were better than one. "What do you want instead?" I asked, letting my eyes bounce back and forth between my two favorite boys. 

"Pizza," He said sleepily.

"If I make a pizza now, you'll be asleep before it's finished," I said seriously and he groaned then frowned.

"I want pizza and then I want ice cream for my desserts," He said stubbornly, making me want to groan.

Ben tilted his face to his and looked at him with a serious expression on his face, "Do you get dessert if you're mean to maman?"

Gabe sighed and shook his head, cuddling up to Ben and setting his head on his shoulder, "If I'm so good, then can I have a dessert papa?"

"What happened to pizza?" Ben laughed and looked at me while I smiled at them, my heart always melting when they were being playful together. How I had lived without that for the past few years of my life? I had no idea. 

"I think I want ice cream and then pizza," Gabe grinned, closing his eyes. 

"How about you go put your pajamas on and then come back for pizza first," I said, pulling a frozen pizza from the freezer, putting it into the oven and turning it on. Gabe nodded his head with his eyes open, running for his bedroom as soon as his feet hit the floor. I waited until I heard drawers opening to wrap my arms around Ben's body, slipping my hands into his back pockets to grab his booty. "Can I have one more kiss before our little man comes back?"

"Always," He said seriously before cupping my face and kissing me, taking his time to taste my mouth, his tongue slipping between my parted lips and playing with mine. He pulled away regretfully, right before I had the chance to start moaning. My body was still on full alert though. "Better now?"

I sighed as I made a silly face, still not letting him go and setting my head against his chest instead. "It'd be better if we didn't have to stop."

He grinned at me to make the moment light, though I knew that he agreed with me, "We have a son, we can't act like horny teenagers all the time."

I glanced up at Ben, a smirk on my own lips, "Too bad." I said before chuckling.

He wrinkled his nose, the smell of pizza already filling the kitchen and making my stomach want to growl. "Thank god for pizza or I'd devour you," He said seriously, making me laugh this time.

"So after that you won't be hungry for me anymore?" I asked as I faked a pout.

"You'll be my dessert instead," He answered and took a few steps back as I heard Gabe's steps getting closer and he winked at me, "Later."

"I hate waiting..." I trailed off and tried giving him my most seductive look which was probably just silly instead. No wonder I'd never be a model. 

Gabe walked back into the kitchen and eased himself up onto one of the bar stools, setting his chin in his fists as he yawned again. He was determined to stay up, you could only admire that about him. He was just as stubborn as me. "Will there be sausage on my pizza?" He asked and looked at Ben, waiting for an answer.

"Doesn't maman know exactly how you like your pizza?" He replied and I smiled at him. 

Gabe nodded his head, "Is it ready yet?"

"I only just put it in the oven silly boy," I leaned against the counter and looked at my sleepy son, wanting to put him to bed and cuddle with him while he still liked that. I knew that in a few years he'd hate cuddles and probably hugs too. He already drew the line at kisses in public. 

He sighed, "When did you two meet each other?"

"We've known each other our whole lives," Ben answered for the both of us, Gabe's face scrunched as if he didn't believe it. 

"But you couldn't have loved each other when you were babies..." His words trailed off in confusion. 

"We did but we didn't know." I told him and looked at him with a big smile on my face.

Our son looked even more confused than before as he furrowed his brows, "I don't understand."

"One day you will," Ben said, ruffling his hair and grinning because he looked so innocent. He was our angel. "You still have time for girls."

He seemed to process his dads words, his eyes bouncing between us and seeming lost into his thoughts. "But why weren't you always together? All my friends' parents have always been together." 

It nearly broke my heart and we'd done so well avoiding this topic since it was a hard one to discuss. I knew that my face was giving me away, but I forced another smile anyways. "It happens sometimes," I said softly as I walked over to him, wrapping my arms around him as if comforting him. Or myself.

"When you grow up sometimes you need time and space to yourself," Ben tried to explain but it looked hard for him also, "It doesn't mean that you don't love the other person...I've always loved your maman. She's always loved me."

"It sounds complicated papa," He commented shortly, staring at Ben with those eyes that looked so much like his own it scared me knowing how handsome my boy would be one day. He was going to be a heart breaker with those smarts and those looks.

"We're together now, that's all that matters," I smiled at him and placed a noisy kiss on his cheek.

"Maman," He protested and scrunched up his nose, but let me cuddle him anyway.

Ben smirked at us, "We were thinking we should stay at mamans loft always, what do you think little man?"

"Will I get a bigger room since I have so many toys?" He asked after a second of consideration, always thinking about his things. 

I laughed and shook my head, "Not yet baby."

He groaned and then shrugged his shoulders, "But I can keep all of my toys?"

"You can keep everything," Ben answered his question and then tossed me a smirk, letting me know that we'd be leaving more than a few things behind or to donate. We tried not to spoil Gabe, but it happened. He was our only son and we just wanted the best for him. 

Gabe seemed to accept his words and relaxed, ten minutes still on the oven and his mood a good one thank god. "Does it mean that we'll all be together always?" He let his eyes bounce back and forth between the two of us while we both nodded. 

"Except for when we work or you have school," I grinned at him. 

"You can come to school with me instead," He laughed his high pitched laugh that warmed my heart, it was more of a giggle really... and probably my favorite sound in the world, right after the words 'I love you' coming from both him and his father. 

"Such a comedian you are," Ben grinned wide at our son as we both watched him, noticing how right now he looked genuinely happy and I loved it.

"School is over anyway," He addded and even clapped his hands in excitement, now wide awake which meant we wouldn't be having alone time anytime soon.

Ben shot him an amused look, reaching for plates and glasses since the kitchen was already starting to smell like pizza and my guess it would be ready soon. "Are you happy about it?" He asked even though it was pretty obvious.

He nodded, "No more homeworks."

"Yes homeworks instead, you have summer ones," I pointed out, raising one eyebrow at him though I was still smiling. And more than a little amused.

He made a silly face, groaning, "Maman, give me a break!"

At that Ben laughed, loud, while my mouth dropped open since we had never heard him talk like that. I wondered where he had heard that expression. Probably from spending too much time around us adults. "You'll have plenty of breaks, only there will be time for studying too," Ben said eventually, always being on the same page as me and I was lucky for that.

He groaned again and then looked at me, "Is my dinner done yet?"

"Almost," I shook my head and then lifted an eyebrow, "Did you wash your hands already?"

He answered my question by hoping off his stool and heading back down the hallway where a second later I heard the bathroom door closing. "He's going to be a handful once he's a teenager," Ben said quietly while I nodded in agreement.

I parted my lips and looked at my boyfriend, wishing I could read his mind since there surely had been a lot on it lately. "I've been meaning to ask, how are you?"

Both of his eyebrows shot up as if he was surprised and it made me realize that I had kind of been a bad girlfriend lately by avoiding all of our problems. I didn't want to be put in the middle of his problems with his sister, but I knew that he was probably dying to talk about it. "I'm good," He said simply.

"I mean with the whole Chloe thing," I smiled back at him, pulling the pizza out of the oven and setting it on the counter to cool off. "Are you okay? We can talk about it when Gabe goes to bed." And god did I want to tell him about Tristan... only I knew that Tristan should be the one telling him instead. This was going to put a brick in their friendship and Tristan needed to be the one to fix it. Again I was silently swearing at Chloe for putting me in the middle of this. I loved her to death, but sometimes she really put herself first.

He smiled back, but I could tell from the look on his face that he was going to dismiss the subject. I wasn't sure if it was for the best or worst. "There's not much to talk about really," He said eventually as he shook his head, more interested in eyeing the pizza.

"You can talk to me..." I trailed off slowly with my eyes on him, studying him

He turned his head to make eye contact again, trying to be more convincing this time. He was a very private person and always had been, but I wanted him to know that he could talk to me about anything. "I know baby, but it's not necessary. Nothing I could say would change a thing," He said seriously then smiled again when our son walked back into the kitchen. "It was about time little man, I'm starving." 

He grinned wide at his dad and they slipped into chairs besides each other at the kitchen table, "For desserts too?"

Ben laughed and ran a hand through Gabe's hair to mess it up a little, "Only if you're good and maman says its okay."

"I'm always good instead!!" He nearly shouted, almost making me wince. It was going to be a long night, that was for sure.

I smiled at the two of them and worked on slicing the pizza then carried it over to the table, setting it in the middle and letting my boys grab slices for themselves. "We'll see about that," I winked at Gabe who made a silly face at me before attacking his pizza, there was sauce all over his face already. "Where did my son go? All I see right now is a little animal."

He laughed with his mouth full, covering it with his hand quickly until he had swallowed all of his food. Thankfully he was remembering his manners. "I'm a fish, not an animal," He all but nearly rolled his eyes. "When is my camp?"

  

"It starts next week," Ben said after swallowing, keeping his eyes on our son to gauge his reaction.

"So soon! I'm excited," He exclaimed before getting all serious again, "Where will it be?"

Ben and I exchanged a look, but I spoke out first, "You'll see...it's gorgeous there."

At that answer he frowned, "I thought it'd be at my school...I won't know anyone there."

"You'll make new friends," Ben answered, understanding his worries but also knowing he'd forget it all as soon as he'd meet new kids. He was outgoing and wasn't going to have any problem making new friends.

"And your bestie will come too, so you don't have anything to worry about," I added and gave him my most reassuring smile, "And if you'll hate it we'll going to get you immediately." I stopped to purse my lips, a little worried too, "But it won't be necessary."

"You'll have plenty of fun Gabe." Ben smiled at him, "I went to camps too when I was little and it was always amazing." 

Gabe stared at his dad with a serious face before parting his lips, "Were you scared too papa?"

I let my eyes leave Gabe to scan Ben's face as he shook his head. "I was excited instead and I made plenty of friends," He replied whether it was true or not. Ben was a lot more quiet as a child than Gabe was now. 

I smiled and looked at Gabe again, "You're going to love it and like I said, if you do hate it? You can come home."

He nodded his head while he chewed a bite of pizza, swallowing and wrinkling his nose again, "Will I live there?"

I laughed, "You won't live there, but at the end of the program, you will have a sleepover there with all of your friends." I left out the part where it would be a week long sleepover since I myself still wasn't sure about that. Both my mom and Ava had been reassuring me that it would be fun and good for him, but I hadn't ever been away from Gabe for that long and so many bad things could happen.

"I love sleepovers!" He smiled wide and I let out a deep breath that Ben caught, reaching for my free hand and giving it a squeeze. "Can we go shopping tomorrow?"

Ben laughed and eyed our baby, "Do you need more clothes? You already have so much."

I grinned and shook my head, "My baby takes after his dad."

"I'm not a baby!!" Gabe groaned then ate half of his pizza in one bite as if proving it.

I smiled at him wide, "You will always be my baby.