forcing old hymns through a naked swim, we’re crawling up from the cold whims

I tore my eyes away from the kids as I spotted a blonde head I knew well at the end of the field. I've been so caught up with the game that I hadn't noticed that my girlfriend was there watching us, both because it had been a hard one and because in all honesty I wasn't expecting her to show up. There she was instead, in all her glorious beauty, walking to me with a smile on her face.
"You won!" Lila exclaimed as she threw her arms around my neck and pressed her body hard against me.
"We did." I smirked at her, gripping her tiny body tightly and lifting her from the ground as I placed a hard kiss on her lips. I hadn't seen her in a few days and while on one hand it had felt pretty normal, on the other I was craving her more than I thought.
Once our lips parted and she was back on her feet, she glared and hit my chest. Hard. What the hell? "You're an a.ss."
I blinked at her, surprised by the change of mood. "What did I do?" I asked, genuinely taken aback.
"You disappeared for a week." She said seriously but I could see she wasn't really mad, or as mad as she was happy to see me now.

I just smirked wider and cradled her head with one hand as I angled mine down to brush my nose against hers, "It was a busy week." I said nonchalantly, kissing her quickly once again before engulfing her in a hug, breathing her in, "I missed you."
She nuzzled my neck and I felt her giving in already, I half expected her to start purring too. "We're giving quite a show." She said quietly and blushed.
I followed her eyes, finding my kids looking at us. Will looked as if he wanted to rip his eyes off while Rob seemed to be annoyed, which was his normal mood. "I'm shameless." I grinned at her and pulled away, only to wrap my arm around her neck as I pushed her side against me, "We're throwing a party because we won the big match. You should come baby. If the team agrees, of course." I added in a teasing voice, knowing that it wasn't needed. I was the coach and they were teens, they had no say in that, plus it was a party open to everyone, which included parents, friends, and whoever supported us always.
"She can come if she can keep her tongue out of your mouth." Rob muttered under his breath.
"I'm not making any promises." Lila whispered to me, winking dramatically and making me laugh.
"I'll remember you don't like kissing when you're a little older." I teased my nephew and rumpled his hair, something I knew he hated because well he wasn't that little anymore. He was old enough to kiss girls and if he was so much like me in that like he was in all the rest then I was sure he already had at least eyed a few girls.
"Is mom coming?" Will asked, turning towards Lima with hope in his blue eyes.
She nodded. "She was here the whole time sweetie, she just stepped away at the end for a phone call. "
Will smiled, being a lot nicer than Rob. "Did she see me take down that kid?! He was twice my size!"
Lila nodded and laughed. "She did. And so did I. You're like a beast out there."
"Someday I'll be as big as Coach Travis and then I'll take down everyone." He said sure of himself as we walked across the park to the other side where the cars were parked. I found it cute that he took me as a role model, I was flattered too.
"Me too." Rob added, nodding seriously, which shocked me since his relationship with me was a rocky one. I loved this kid though, like he was my own.
"And then a tiny blonde will bring them to their knees too." I whispered into Lila's neck and she shivered, her face flushing.
"Where are we going?" She asked, turning in my arms as we reached my bike and the kids disappeared from our sight.
"Adam's. He lives a few blocks away, has a huge back yard with a barbecue all ready."
She set her hand on her flat stomach and hummed a happy sound. "Good I'm starving." He said, grabbing my extra helmet. "Try to obey at least half of the rules of the road." I teased him.
"Never." I climbed on my bike, watching her do the same and throwing her a smirk when she glared, "Either that or you can walk."
She let out a snort that got lost in the wind as soon as the engine roared to life and I sped up, "You're a lost cause." I heard her say from behind me, her arms wrapped tightly around me.
I ignored her as I zigzagged through the cars, doing that on purpose because I loved how she held onto me. I knew she hated it instead, but I couldn't help it, my bike was my love, it had been since I had gotten my first one on my 16 birthday. "Here we are." I announced as I parked in front of my brothers house.
"Were you trying to get us killed?" She spat back, nearly throwing me her helmet and only amusing me more.
I got off the bike, set both our helmets on the handles and reached for her. "No, you'd go to paradise and I'd go to hell. I'd miss you." I grinned as I nuzzled her neck before grabbing her hand and leading her towards the back of my brothers house, "Don't be mad baby's what's life without some excitement?"
Lila shook her head at me, looking relieved, probably because she was back on her feet again.
"Dear god Lila, hope that Reece never finds out he drives like that." Colbie said, shaking her head as she got out of her car, Will and Rob following behind her. "Actually make sure none of them find out." She said under her breath as I rolled my eyes and Lila blushed.
"Can I get a motorcycle?" Will asked his mom and Colbie glared at me.
"See what you did?" She asked, though she was smirking still as she set a huge bowl of fruit salad on the table everyone else was gathering at.
"Why didn't you tell me? I would have made something..." Lil trailed off and I laughed this time.
"You mean you would have bought something." I teased and she stuck her tongue out at me, causing me to grab her waist and lean in. "What did Will say about keeping your tongue to yourself?" I asked before kissing her hard. I had to hold myself back because well, I couldve gotten carried away, and before I knew it the kiss was broken already and my oldest brother had joined us.
"Lila. What a nice surprise." Adam grinned and scooped her up in his arms.
"Hey, you have a wife, put her down." Jax's voice rang out as Adam let go of her and my other brother wrapped his arm around her neck, "Hey squirt." Jax pulled her in for a side squeeze. What the fuck?
Lil rolled her eyes. "Squirt? Really?"
He shrugged casually, always the laid back easy going one out of us three. "Thought it was better than hotstuff in the presence of the coach." He winked at her as I shook my head.
"Not to worry, he's not a jealous man." She joked, though it was true.
"What do I have to be jealous about?" I asked with a brow raised making her narrow her gaze at me.
"Is there anyone cockier than you?" She asked bacj, stepping up and pressing her hands against my chest.
"You sometimes." I said softly, sending me a heated look that was anything but innocent.
"Only when it's deserved." She replied, grinning and pulling away.
I raised one eyebrow slowly, still teasing her. "When is it deserved?" I asked and she just rolled her eyes. I moved my eyes and noticed Colbie, who looked a little off and I guessed it made sense if I thought about what Lila had told me about their brothers being crazy overprotective and destroying her love life.
"She's still a little bummed you know." Lila said quietly, reading my mind perfectly.
"Hey Colbie." I smiled at her as I walked closer to her, "Do you know my brother?" I asked, knowing that no one was better than Jax for fixing a girls mood.
She nodded as she tucked her hair behind her ear, "Adam? Sure. Will and Rob live as one person and I can't tell how many times I went here to pick my son."
"I meant Jax." I smirked and nodded to my other brother, who got the hunt and gravitated closer to us again.
"She doesn't know me but I know her." He cut into the conversation, being his usual charming self. "I saw you so many times at the games."
Lila shot me a meaningful look, before moving her gaze back to Jax. "Careful sis, he's famous for his lines." She teased him.
"I don't know what you're talking about." He said back, blinking at her, "I'm the perfect gentleman, I swear I'd never use one of those lame lines just to win a girls heart."
At that we all chuckled, "Gentleman my a.ss." I grinned at my brother and patted his back before dragging Lila away from me, "Let's go grab a beer. I could drink a pool, I'm so damn thirsty."
"Do you think it's a good idea?" She asked instead, tossing her head over her shoulder where our siblings were.
"Jax will do nothing but keep her entertained for the night." I shrugged and poked her nose to make her stop stare, "Don't start over thinking."
"Do you have some kind of mind reading powers or something?" Lila asked, raising a brow at me.
"I just know you." I said simply, grabbing a few beers from a cooler and popping them open before handing one to me. That was bullshit though, sure I knew her, but not enough to read her mind...I was only being lucky.
"Thanks." She grinned and clinked hers to mine.
"What are we toasting to?" I asked with a grin, noticing how relaxed and happy she looked, a lot different than how she had been the last time I had seen her. This was the Lila I liked the most.
"To a great win." She replied taking a long sip of the cold drink.
"And a great girl." I added, pushing it and making her flush but roll her eyes. She took me too seriously sometimes, even when I was just silly...she really was a great girl though.
"Don't get cheesy on me Cole. It doesn't fit you."
I laughed since cheesy was a word that wasn't on my vocabulary at all. I could be sweet on special occasions, I knew I had a soft size, but cheesy? Hell no. "Maybe not." I grinned.
"Hey Lila." My mom smiled and hugged her before pulling away and beaming at both of us. "I'm so happy to see you both." She looked like her face might stick that way and I suppressed the urge ot groan for how obvious she was being. I adored my mom though and I'd never deny her some genuine happiness over something so silly like having Lila with me.
"If you're wondering what that face is? She's picturing what your kids will look like." My dad laughed as he grabbed a beer and Lila blushed furiously.
"Good god Mom." I shook my head, not worried about the comment since it was completely irrelevant. Lila and I had been together for barely a few months, plus she was so young and with no intention to have kids while I was older and on another page. Even the thought was absolutely ridiculous.
"A baby with Cole and Trenton genes? It's be too perfect to even exist." Lila laughed and then turned to watch Will and Rob playing keep away with Rob's baby sisters doll. Idiots.
I walked over them, catching the doll mid-air and giving it back to Poppy before picking her up. "You should stay away from guys, they're mean."
"They suck!" She exclaimed, her language a lot more developed than one of any thee years old and, when I walked past Rob, she used her doll to hit his brother on his head. "Meanie!"
I laughed heartly as I kissed her chubby cheek, "That's my baby." I told her with a huge grin on my face. She was the most adorable baby I had ever seen and whenever I was with her I realized that one day I'd want to have my own babies. She was born around the time my ex girlfriend and I had been through the nightmare that had led us to break up eventually and she had been the only thing able to put a smile on my face during those dark months. I was completely in love with my niece.
"You're learning how to deal with boys so fast." Lila grinned at her, poking her side and making her giggle as we walked towards one of the bences placed around my brother's backyard.
"I don't like boys." She said seriously, leaning her head against my chest and looking at Lila while holding her doll close.
I faked a pout as I set her down on the wooden table carefully. "Hey, I'm a boy!" I protested, sitting in front of her and making room for my other favorite girl too next to me.
"But you're an uncle!" She blinked her eyes at me, as if that made completely sense and I guessed that in her head it did.
"I'm your favorite." I smirked at her, ticking her sides and making her toss her head back as she laughed.
"Stop! Mom! Stop!" She screamed through giggles, making me melt.
Lila rescued her, grabbing my hands as she leaned against my side, "I got this." She winked at my niece.
Poppy let out a breath, holding her tummy, "I'm hungry. No one wants to play with me or eat. They're all old."
I grabbed her by her tiny waist and set her down on the ground again, "Go to mom and ask her some food, then Lila and I will play with you cutie." I smiled, kissed her cheek and let her go, watching her nod before running away like the crazy baby she was.
Lila's eyes followed her, then looked back at me, "You're good with kids."
"No, I'm good with girls." I grinned as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, leaning into her to kiss her lips softly.
"You're good with boys too, otherwise we'd be having no celebration." Lila said against my mouth, making me chuckle.
"Maybe." I answered simply, not admitting or denying that.
She watched as Poppy jumped up and down next to her mom waiting for food. "She might be the cutest little girl I've ever seen." She admitted even though it was pretty obvious to me. Okay I was biased, but still, my niece was adorable.
"I know." I beamed as I watched her, noticing how fast she was growing.
"You should have kids." Lila told me seriously and suddenly, leaving me wonder where this was coming from and if it was going anywhere.
I looked back at her. "I want to." I said back honestly, but that shouldn't have been brand new information for her. We had already talked about kids before.
She swallowed and my heart stopped beating for a moment, the look on her face the kind that scared me. "The day at the hospital.....you seemed terrified. Like it was the worst thing that could ever happen. I know the timing was wrong and maybe even I was wrong....but it seemed like such a harsh reaction to a man who wants to be a dad." She said in a rush, surprising me because it had been a while since the last time she had been so open to me.
I looked at her, staring and studying her face while I processed her words. "It wouldn't have been the end of the world Lila. But we weren't even together then. I want kids but I don't want to raise a child into a complicated situation. We weren't ready for that." I explained what was obvious to me, it wouldn't have been right, but I also knew that if things had gone differently I would have done my best. I had learnt from my mistakes.
She nodded. "I get it."
"You were scared too." I pointed out, though I couldn't blame her. I had been there too.
She nodded. "I was terrified." She admitted. "I'd never thought I was very maternal and I thought it would change everything about who I was."
"But?" I asked, reaching out and running my thumb along her cheek since I didn't want her to stop talking.
"I don't know. There was a part of me that felt a little empty when I found out it wasn't true.....I told you that already. It wasn't the right time. But it made me realize I want it. I want this." She motioned around to the backyard. "Family and friends with kids and playing and happiness." She smiled. "Damn I'm sounding like a lame hallmark movie." I laughed.
"I like it when you talk without thinking baby." I said, looking down at her with adoration. Part of me knew that this image she was picturing in her mind was basically just a dream, that it wasn't a real talk, but I loved hearing it anyway because it allowed me to see the world through her eyes.
"I'll remind you of that the next time I blurt out something that pisses you off." She joked and I laughed, knowing that the moment was gone.
"But after I'm pissed we get to make up...." I whispered against her ear, a promise in my tone that made her shiver.
"Uncle Travis I got a hot dog and potato salad!!!" Poppy called out, bouncing over to us.
"Oh yummy. I love potato salad." Lila told her, poking her nose and making her scrunch her little face and laugh.
"Me too! We're like twins! Except you're old." She nodded and Lil bust out laughing.
"You should tell that to Travis, he thinks I'm a baby." She teased and Poppy made the cutest confused face.
"What?! Babies are tiny and can't talk!!!"
I shook my head, looking at her with an amused face, "That's not true. You can talk and you're still a baby." I said back as I watched her expression change.
"I'm not a baby anymore." She protested, clearly about to show us the feisty side of her personality. That was how you got when you grew up surrounded by boys since my mom and hers were the only ones in our family.
I faked a thoughtful face as I watched her, "Really? Because I've heard that if you're not a baby you don't get cuddles." I said seriously even though it was hard, considering how cute she was and how big Lila was grinning.
Her mouth dropped open, a worried expression on her tiny face. Lila laughed as she noticed it too. "He's kidding. I get plenty of cuddles even if I'm a grown up girl."
"Nonsense." I shook my head again, wrapping my arm around my girlfriend's shoulders and pressing a chaste kiss on her cheek, "As I said, you're a baby too."
My niece shrugged nonchalantly, "Uncle Travis always cuddles me to sleep." She pointed out.
Lila and I exchanged a look, since we knew all about cuddling before after or during sleep. We knew all about other things too, which my niece would discover in at least twenty years hopefully. "Is he good?" Lila asked softly, running her hand through Poppy's thin hair while she tried to climb on my leg like a little animal.
She nodded, "He reads me fairy tales too and let me brush his hair." She added.
Lila laughed again since that could seem our of character for me, but it wasn't really, only she didn't know that side of me yet. "I wish I had an uncle like him." She winked at the little girl.
"What are you telling to my baby? Should I be worried?" Adam joined us, bending over to pick his daughter who fought him instead, making it obvious that she had other plans.
"She was jus telling me how much of a good uncle I am instead." I grinned up at my brother, leaning back against the bench and enjoying the feeling of Lila's warm body against my side. She fit my hold perfectly.
He let go of her eventually, Poppy running away a second later as Adam shook his head. "I hope next one is not another girl. They drive you crazy." He sighed.
"Tell me about it." I said back, glancing at Lila with a teasing smirk on my face and getting a slap on my chest back.
Adam's eyes bounced between us before he took a seat next to us, his face giving him away. I knew he was about to say something I wouldn't necessarily like. "So Lila, how is Travis treating you?" He asked, making it sound like he was teasing me but I knew him better. He had hardly seen me with a girl since Karlie so now it had to be surprising to him that I had brought Lila to what we considered a family event.
"I treat her like a f.ucking princess." I answered before she could, my smirk only getting wider because I didn't want this conversation to become a serious one. We were having a nice day, no need to make it heavy. Lila raised one eyebrow at me, so I nuzzled her neck, not caring if my brother was there, "Isn't it true baby?"
"It is...usually." Lila grinned and gave me a wicked look that had me chuckling and tugging her closer.
"Usually huh?" Adam grinned back as if he'd gotten his way but I nodded.
"Yes the rest of the time I have to treat her like the insatiable woman she is." I said though it was more to her than to my brother.
Lila's face flushed and Adam rolled his eyes. "Anyone seen my wife?" He asked, scratching the back of his neck.
I laughed as Lila smirked and nodded across the yard. "She's talking to my sister." She pointed her out and Adam grinned as his gaze caught on hers. She must have felt it because she looked towards us and saw him grinning at her, giving him a wink that made Adam's grin turn into a smirk.
"You guys are cute." Lila commented. I pulled her closer as Adam's eyes rolled over the word cute and he got up to go over to his wife. "How did they meet?" She asked, turning towards me. "I'm so curious as to how the Cole men fall in love."
I reached out to play with a strand of her hair. "I wonder why."
She leaned in to me harder and kissed my mouth softly. "Tell me!"
"Cuddles and story telling. Just like a baby." I teased her.
"Only compared to you."
I smirked at her, wrapping my arm around her body and lifting her effortlessly to set her perfect a.ss on my thigh, "You knew from the beginning I'm an old man, and you still wanted me. So you can't complain now." I teased her, holding her close and tight.
She snaked her arm around my neck, staring at me as she smiled. "I'm not complaining, your stamina is impressive despite your age."
"It is." I agreed and got carried away, kissing her hard once again as my hand cupped her cheek, my mouth tasting her until I felt her hands push against my chest gently.
"People are staring at us." She whispered as she pulled her head back, her cheeks now a dark pink that made her look even more gorgeous.
I didn't even bother to look around, keeping my eyes boring into hers instead, "Let them stare." I shrugged nonchalantly, not really caring about what was going on around us. I was focused on her and my family had to know by now that she was mine, plus we weren't doing anything bad really. Some kissing never shocked anyone.
She let out a loud sigh, biting down on her lip as she pushed her bangs behind her ear. "You didn't tell me about Adam." She said eventually, changing the subject.
"He met Liz in high school, fell in love with her, married her then knocked her up. Twice." I paused to grin at Lila, amused by how I was making sound a really nice love story like something so small. "End of the story."
She rolled her eyes, but smirked anyway. "That tells me nothing about how he fell in love with her." She said slowly and I wondered if she was really trying to find some trick that could work on me. Or maybe this time I was the one over thinking.
"Haven't you seen her?" I asked, my eyes moving to my sister in law which was now talking with Colbie and Jax. "She's perfect." I said seriously, knowing that my brother couldn't have found a better girl even in one million years. He hadn't had the kind of fun that Jax and I had had during high school and our twenties too, but now that I was older I could see that it didn't really matter since he had her.
"She's lovely." Lila agreed and watched as Adam came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her neck.
I nuzzled hers instead and she turned to look at me. "What are you thinking?" I asked quietly, more interested in my girl than in my brother's wife.
She ran her fingers through my hair and shrugged. "That you're real bad at telling love stories."
I laughed and squeezed her closer, loving that she had some kind of smartass remark for me always. "I missed you." I grinned and she rolled her eyes, leaving me want to roll mine too.
"I'll ask Liz instead. Plus I'm wondering if all Cole men are as impressive naked." She smirked wider as she changed the subject, of course into a sexual one. It was funny how she had had zero problems telling me that she loved me and now she couldn't even give me a decent answer.
I took my turn to roll my eyes this time, also wondering why she even had to wonder. She had me, why did she even cared?
"Well I am." Jax's voice said from behind us. "Too bad we all know you only have eyes for the grumpy one."
"He's not so grumpy when I'm around." She took a glance at my face.
"Won't you two eye fuck each other on your own time?" Jax grumbled, making me want to glare at him. He was turning into a pussy.
"This is my party, it is my time." I replied, though my eyes were still on Lil as she tried not to laugh.
"I thought we talked about you getting yourself a girlfriend." She turned to my brother.
He shrugged. "We talked about you cloning yourself." Hilarious really.
"Colbies here!" She pointed out.
Jax looked over to where her sister was playing with Poppy and sighed dramatically. What was even happening to him? Maybe he spent way too much time with Lila, actually I wondered if he spent more time with her than I did. Oh well. "She shot me down."
Lila and I both started laughing, because I guessed that it was a first for my brother. "Good for her." I shook my head. "You couldn't handle her anyways."
"Eww. I don't want to think about someone handling my sister." Lila said scrunching up her face as she shook my head. "But she does need it." She added as an afterthought.
I raised one eyebrow at her and poked her side, making her jump, "Since when you're all so shy and act like you aren't aware that your sister has a sexual life?" I asked as she narrowed her eyes on me.
"Since she's my sister and I don't want to hear about it!" She protested, "Would you like to know about your brother?" She asked, trying to make a point but Jax and I exchanged a look. We did know about each other's sex life, of course not the details but we had no problem with talking about luterally anything. "Oh god should I be embarrassed?" She asked with her eyes wide as she blushed.
At that I laughed again, shaking my head, "Don't worry he knows nothing." I grinned as I glanced to my brother.
"Eh, since you two got together he doesn't say anything anymore." He said with a sigh, keeping his face straight to convince Lila though I knew it was his attempt to tease her. It was working.
Her head snapped back in my direction, "Did you tell him about us before instead?" She asked as her eyes got impossibly deep and her cheeks impossibly red.
"Oh come on Lil, it's not a big deal." I smirked wider, genuinely amused by her reaction. "Isn't he your bff now anyway?" I kept going, teasing her further.
She shook her head, then nodded, "No...I mean yes, but it's still kind of awkward. Now I know that he knows things...oh god you two are terrible." She muttered as a little pout appeared on her lips.
"Don't worry, I don't know much except for you're really good." Jax laughed as he sat next to us, when I wanted him to leave instead. I would have plenty of time for him, just not now when I wanted Lila and Lila only.
She sighed, "At least."
I kept smirking as I angled her head gently, smiling when my eyes dropped on her lips. "Don't pout baby." I said before kissing those soft lips.
"What are you guys doing later?" Jax cut into the silence, making me want to slap him though I knew he was doing it on purpose. He used to do the same with Karlie too, even if they weren't so close.
I broke the kiss regretfully, raising one eyebrow at him as I adjusted Lila's tiny body against mine. "What do you think?"
"Man you're depressing me." He shook his head, "You two are starting to act like youre joined on the hip."
Lila's hand moved quickly, hitting his chest playfully, "That's not true!" She protested, only amusing my brother even more because she was letting him tease her endlessly and didn't even realize it.
"Travis told me you're feisty..." He trailed off, grinning from ear to ear.
"Why don't you go bother someone else?" I spoke before he could add something else, "Like go to Colbie, I'm sure she'll be happy to turn you down again."
He sighed but got up eventually, pointing his finger in my direction, "I never fail twice." He smirked at us before walking away.
I gave all my attention back to Lila, pushing her hair off her forehead, "What do you want to do later?" I asked quietly as I smiled at her.
"I have to look at a few houses with my realtor."
I rose a brow at her. Lila had mentioned to me she was thinking about buying a house but I had no idea she was in such a hurry though it probably made sense. Now that she was selling her art so easily she had to make more money too. "Really?" I pulled her closer and nuzzled her neck, making shivers go through her whole body.
"It will only take a couple hours if you wanted to do something else." She smirked and I nodded.
"I'll be too bored after a couple of hours." I grumbled, still remembering when I had to pick my own house and how draining that process had been.
She laughed. "Well then maybe you should find yourself a girlfriend who's more needy." She leaned in and kissed me softly as my hands around her waist pulled her in harder, guessing I'd better enjoy her company as long as she was still with me.
"I should find myself a girl who's less of a smartass instead." I grumbled, half joking and half meaning it...it was all about the timing.
"You'd get bored from that.....you can come with me if you want. Tell me what all to be grumpy about in the houses he shows."
"He?" I shot her a look and she nodded.
"Yeah my realtor....you don't have to. Or I could reschedule." She offered, leaving me wonder what she really wanted.
"So many options." I smirked and she sighed softly.
"I just want to make you happy." She said seriously, her words surprising me since I hadn't heard no filter Lila in a long time.
I smiled at her, more like smirked, realizing how much she was starting to sound like a real girlfriend. "I'm pretty happy right now, doesn't it show?" I asked, leaning into her until our noses were just inches apart and our eyes were staring into each other's.
She set her forehead against mine and smiled back at me, her hands sliding down my chest and stopping on my pecs. "It does, but I'm worrying about later."
"You have nothing to worry about." I answered in a low tone before angling my head and capturing her lips with mine in a slow kiss that I tried to keep as innocent as possible. "I'll still be happy when I'll see you again later."
She bit down on her bottom lip, adjusting on my lap and not breaking eye contact. "So you're not coming with me?" She asked slowly, her face giving away nothing and I guessed she had her filter back.
"Unless I have to." I shrugged as I hoped she'd see my point, "I'd feel kind of bad if I left my boys party so early."
At that she smiled again, surprising me. "I hadn't thought about that...I love how much you care about your team."
I stared at her a few seconds and I thought that it was being too easy. Actually, it reminded me of how things were supposed to be always when you were at the beginning of any relationship: easy. "What's the catch?"
"No catch silly man." She broke into a chuckle, that enough to convince me she meant it. "It's set."
I grinned at her cute face and at how happy and carefree she looked, no trace of any bad thought on her expression. "I can meet you at the last house you'll look and then we can go have fun." I suggested, feeling in the right mood to take her in some bar and get us both drunk.
"I think I'll stay here with you and reschedule with my realtor instead." She said, making me raise a brow at the sudden change of plans. "I can't go since I don't have my car here anyway."
I nodded slowly but eventually broke into a smirk, finding myself happy that she decided not to go. We still had to go through a few hours before getting crazy but at least now we got to spend them together. "Admit it, you planned this from the beginning and it was just a trick to stay with me all night."
"You're so clever. I can't get anything past you." Lila rolled her eyes as she texted her realtor and slipped her phone back into her bag.
"Isn't that why you like me? My cleverness?" I wiggled my brows at her and she started laughing.
"Yes." She agreed, still laughing at how silly I was being. When she laughed she could literally light a whole room for how gorgeous she was.
"I knew it." I nodded, feeling proud of myself not because of my brain but because I was making her happy instead. Sometimes I forgot how easy that could be.
"Yes yes." She watched as my dad pulled my mom into his arms and spun her around the yard. "My parents used to dance like that." She sighed and I knew that was a touchy subject to her.
I nuzzled her softly, wanting to confort her but not knowing how. "I'm sorry." I felt conflicted on how to respond but she shook her head and smiled.
"No, it's a good memory. I like thinking of my dad like that, looking at my mom like she made the world go round the same way they are." She turned to me, looking at me with that kind of love that almost scared me. Almost because then I reminded to myself of how lucky I was to get that from such a great girl like her, and I was even luckier because she didn't ask much back.
I pushed her hair behind her ear, still staring into her eyes, "Do you have many memories like that?" I asked cautiously, not sure if she wanted to talk about it but trying anyway. I wanted her to open up to me, to know I cared about her and what she thought, only like this maybe we had a chance to last together.
She bit down on her lip as she nodded, looking as if she was getting emotional and I couldn't blame her. It had to be really hard, no matter how long had passed, some things you couldn't just forget. "My parents were really in love, the kind of love you read in books or see in movies..." She trailed off and for a moment I thought she was about to stop, but I waited instead of talking and she went on. "They looked at each other just like your parents and I remember that when I was little I wondered how it was possible for to people to stay together forever, and at the same time I wanted that too."
I listened to her carefully, having the feeling that we were cutting ourselves out of the world and closing into our own instead. It was weird, it was nice too. "And when you grew up?" I asked quietly, trying to solve the riddle that was Lila. I couldn't understand why she had never been in love, had never been in an average serious relationship, she was gorgeous smart and fun...it made no sense to me. It made even less sense that now she was in love with me though.
"When my father died everything changed you know." She shrugged nonchalantly as if it was nothing, but I knew better. She just closed up, not to get hurt. "Even now sometimes I catch my mom with a look in the eyes that shows how much she still misses my dad, it's so sad."
I held her closer to me, like she was a baby, mine to protect from all the bad that could happen to her. "Does that scare you?" I asked, not expecting her to answer but asking anyway, "I mean to get hurt so deep. Again."
"Wouldn't it scare anyone?" Lila asked with a sigh and I didn't say anything, waiting for her to open up again. "My dad and I were close. It was awful to lose him. I felt like I was drowning in sadness. But it was a different kind of hurt than my mom felt. That was the father of her children, the love of her life. I didn't understand that kind of love back then, hell I don't know it now. That would be a loss I don't know if I could bounce back from." She admitted, and I was surprised she did.
"Lil." I nuzzled her neck, guessing that she was thinking that, even if way differently, she could go through a similar loss. "I'm not going anywhere."
She turned, her eyes looking a little glossy. "I love you." She whispered softly and
I smiled, those words warming my heart even if I couldn't reciprocate. "I know baby." I cupped her cheek and she leaned into me.
"How did you deal with it?" She asked softly. "You were in love. How do you move on?"
I pulled back and stared at her for a second, debating how much to tell her. "This is heavy talk for a party." He said finally and I laughed.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." She said, leaning in and kissing my cheek.
I considered her offer and I'd lie if I said I wasn't tempted to just take it and not share anything. The last time I had talking about Karlie, for real, about our pasts, had been months ago if not years. It was a painful subject, one I didn't want to think about, but Lila was opening up to me and she deserved to know at least just a little. "I can tell you instead." I said, waiting for her to pull back and I smiled at her, this time her turn to be quiet. "It was very different for me Lil, it just happened..." I trailed off, not sure about how to explain it without saying too much.
She studied my face and I could tell she was picking her next words carefully. "You mean you two just broke up? Out of nowhere?" She asked, curiosity in her voice and written on her face.
I smirked a little, because that was of course very unlikely and also because I like this new kind of us being close that was so different from being close sexually. We were already pretty damn epic at that. "No, it was a slow painful process." I answered and my expression turned more serious again, "It began with little meaningless things, then we started fighting, grew apart and eventually fell out of love."
She seemed to process my words, nodding her head as a crease formed between her brows, it always the sign that she was thinking hard. "It sounds really sad." She pointed out slowly, her eyes looking down where her fingers were tracing invisible lines on my forearm mindlessly. "Didn't it hurt you?"
I followed her gaze, getting lost into the casual movement of her fingers myself as I let out a deep breath. It had hurt and it still did sometimes, for one reasons more than others. I could've been a father now and no matter how much I hadn't wanted that back then, I still had plenty to feel guilty about. "It did a little, but I'm a big man and I heal fast." I said as I did my best to make it sound playful in order not to make the moment too heavy.
She finally made eye contact with me again, rolling her eyes a little, "You forgot to say old too."
I nuzzled her neck, hiding my face, "I'd never hurt you Lil." I muttered against her skin as I squeezed her tiny body in my arms and I meant my words, I never wanted to be the one changing, more like ruining, someone  like Lila. Not again.
"I know you wouldn't." Lila smiled at me and I held her tighter while I realized that even though it wasn't probably the better or wiser choice, she was still trusting me.  "Did you tink you were going to marry her?" She asked, catching me off guard.
"I don't know." I made a face as I thought about it. There had been a time when things with Karlie were real good and yes, for a few months I had even thought she could have been the right one for a lifetime. I had no idea of how wrong I was. "I think I thougth it might happen eventually."
She nodded, "Don't worry I'm not going to ask you to marry me." She smirked, changing the mood between us in a heartbeat. "I'd need to ask Jax what kind of ring you'd like first."
I blinked at herand then bust out laughing, shaking my head as I squeezed her closer. "You kill me Lil."
She grinned and leaned in, letting me know it was enough deep talk for today. It really was. "Do I need to change before we go out tonight?" She asked, looking down at her top and shorts.
I shrugged, since she could go out with a plastic bag as dress and still be the most gorgeous girl on earth. "Not if you don't want to." I said nonchalantly, knowing that not only she looked amazing in everything but looked even better in nothing.
She took a final sip of her beer before she leaned in to whisper in my ear even though there was no one around. "I want to get drunk and then let you do everything you want to me."
"Everything I want huh?" I asked, not bothering to be quiet as I gave her a look that was impossible to misunderstand. We were back on a safe sexy ground.
"I'm a handsy drunk. I might be difficult to keep in public."
"I think I can handle it." I replied, smiling as I pulled her closer and she leaned her head against me.