i should be over all the butterflies

i should be over all the butterflies by ssaarah 

My mind was having a really, really, REALLY hard time focusing. See I had prepared myself, mentally, physically, emotionally, for the price I would pay having a one night stand with Travis. I knew it would be great and I knew that it would be over. What I didn’t expect was to spend a 3 day weekend exploring a new sexual awakening with the sexiest man on earth. And it wasn’t even just sex which I was prepared for. The way he spoke to me, the way he touched me. It wasn’t the way a man who just wanted to get laid touched and spoke to a woman. I had felt literally treasured for practically 72 hours. My whole body ached. In a fantastic way. I think I gained abs I’d been worked out so hard.

“Lila!” I blinked back at my boss, the memory of Travis’ tongue running up my leg distracting me.

“Sorry, yeah?”

“Your proposal….have you heard back from marketing and finance?” I had been the head of design when it came to ios 7’s new weather application and it had been such a huge success that I proposed we re-design all the apps that came with the iphone with similar looks and animations.

“I'm expecting to hear back any time.” I replied, smiling sweetly. The morning meeting was dismissed. I headed back to my small office and replied to a few e-mails, Travis’ scortching goodbye kiss from about 3 a.m. this morning still etched in my mind. And that was the other thing, I gave him plenty of opportunities to leave, no strings, no disappointment. But still he stayed, wrapping those strong arms around me once more even when I thought I couldn’t possibly go again.

“Lila.” I sighed softly as I remembered the way he said my name, my eyes closing as I pictured him whispering it in my ear. “Lila.” I blinked. Both those sounded so real I-

“Travis?” I blinked up at him, filling out my doorway with all his alpha-male glory. Damn he looked almost as good in a suit as he did naked.

“Your proposal for the app designs is a little hasty.” He didn’t even look at me. I ran my tongue over my lips.

“Hasty?”

“The new update was just launched, I don’t think we need to spend the hours and money to redesign things quite yet.”

“Yeah because Apple hates being ahead of the curve.” I replied just as cooly. He finally looked up at me, I prepared myself for the warmth and intensity of his stare…but I saw literally nothing. Not even a trace of acknowledgment that we had spent the weekend wrapped up in each other’s arms. Ouch. But this was what you expected Trenton, get a grip and get over it. It was the best time of your life and now it’s over.

“No one sane of mind would launch a new design so close to the last one." he pointed out , his eyes still on mine.

"Well apparently my boss is insane because he didn't think it was such a bad idea." I retorted, not amused with his attitude.

“So if he thinks is so great why did he send you to me?" he said seriously, even if he know he was acting like a smartass.

"You know that already, because I can't do anything without money. And if you don't say yes I won't get any." I said back, shifting in my chair to try and ease some of the ache between my legs that was beginning to piss me off. I’d just had him! What did I need more for now?!

"Come back to me in a few months and you'll get your yes Lila." Travis said slowly, looking me over before turning to leave. But he wasn’t getting off that easily.

"Travis." I caught up with him and he looked down at me, annoyed and as if I was a fly bothering him. Fucking asshole.

"I'm not going to change my mind."

"I wasn't done talking." I snapped back, unaffected by his tone. At least professionally.

"I hope you will be by the time I'll get to my office." Travis retorted flatly as we walked down the hallway, running a hand through his hair and killing me slowly. Oh god how good it had felt to have my hands tangled in his hair….

"Whatever you like it or not you'll have to give me a reason why my idea is bad. A written one. And you can't do that if you don't let me explain everything." I said eventually, forcing me back t o reality. He opened the door to his office and groaned, loudly.

"You better have great communication skills because I'm not giving you much time." He said eventually, letting me go in first.

“You didn’t even ask to see my mock up designs.” I pointed out, my hands on my hips.

“It wouldn’t matter.” He retorted. “I really have work to get done.”

“Oh you really do? Because I instead just sit in my office playing video games.” I retorted.

“You shouldn’t do that, HR tracks the sites you go to on your computer.” he retorted, which I would have taken as playful flirting if he hadn’t been completely serious. I knew I was letting him get the better of me and get my famous temper to flare but at this point I didn’t care. I’d already slept with him and he was already being kind of a jerk so who cared if he also thought I was a crazy person? I slammed his door shut and glared at him.

“I know it’s probably hard for you to spend time around women when they’re not on their knees but if you don’t treat me like an equal and actually follow the protocol required for this type of request then I will file a complaint about you.” I said seriously, walking closer to him and ignoring how fucking good he smelled.

“A complaint?” he let his mouth twitch upwards. I pointed towards the couch in his office as I took out my ipad.

“Sit your as.s down and look at my mockups before you decide I'm too “hasty”” I ordered. He blinked at me for a second.

“You have five minutes.” He replied.

“I have however long it takes.” I replied, just because I let him be the boss of me in bed didn’t mean I was easily pushed around. And not only that? But I wasn’t going to make it easy for him. He had to still be attracted to me or he would have left long before he had this morning. So I purposefully sat down so close our legs were touching, flipping through pictures of new designs, focusing on my ideas for the stock market app, since that was like porn to guys like him and my design was flawless.

“….It’s not bad.”

“Not only is it not bad, but it’s not costly.” I replied, flipping though the stats I had looked up in preparation for this meeting, not knowing it would be Travis I was trying to convince. “In fact the only thing that would be costing extra would be my 15% raise.” I added.

“A raise?” he blinked back at me.

“Yeah. It’s what happens when someone kicks a.ss at their job.” I replied seriously, at that moment intentionally, pulling my hair to the side and knowing he was able to stare right at the marks he’d left on my neck the night before. “I kick as,s at pretty much everything I set my mind on….but you know that first hand right Trav?” I added, licking my lips slowly as an afterthought. I had to give him credit, his eyes didn’t falter from mine for a second.

"I don't, we never worked together before."

"I wasn't talking about work." I said back, knowing he knew what I meant, but wanting to put it in words anyways as I crossed my legs.

"I only talk about work here Lila." He clarified in a serious tone making me want to sigh and crawl back into bed because even though I knew it was coming it still sucked.

"Me too. I'm trying to convince you here." I said quietly. It was ridiculous because any other uptight finance guy would have given me the permission in a second. This was like hell and if I didn’t get the okay I was fucked.

"I need more details about your project if you want to have a chance." Travis said eventually and looked back at me. Well that was some hope I guessed. I relaxed against the couch, my heart still beating fast but what else was new around him.

"I already showed you all I had." I said slowly, since he had to know that. I wasn’t stupid just showing him part of it. I let my eyes close, trying to bring myself back to work and get my head in it.

"You can give up if it stresses you too much." I felt his breath on my neck and my eyes flied open.

"No, it's that I had a long night." I groaned and rolled my eyes.

"Long weekend." He commented shortly before getting up and reaching for the phone. "Two coffees."

“With-“

“Extra espresso” he added, eyeing me. He might pretend like we didn’t know each other, but he knew the way I wanted my coffee anyways.

“What are we doing here?” I asked, narrowing my eyes on him once he hung up the phone.

“Having a meeting.” He replied with a tone of finality that I ignored.

“Clearly not. You gave me five minutes I’ve already been here 20.” He blinked before glancing at the clock.

“I”

“Should get back to work. Fine.” I stood up just as his secretary was bringing in my coffee. I needed it too badly to stomp off without it anyways.

“Your 12 o-clock was cancelled Mr. Cole.” The girl said softly. He nodded and let her leave, handing me my cup while sipping his.

“It looks like I have some extra time after all.” I swallowed a long sip of the hot liquid, enjoying every second of the bitter taste the dark roast left.

“Was she the one?” I asked idly.

“The one?” he questioned, lifting a brow.

“Who went down on you in your office.” I added. He quirked his brow further and then shook his head.

“I don’t sleep with women I work with.” He said seriously, making me smirk pretty wide because he added. “Usually.” At the end.

“Because it’s complicated right?” I asked. He nodded.

“Yes.” I walked up to his desk, leaning over it and knowing he was getting a damn good view down my dress.

“Because she wants to hang out in your office and get’s clingy and weird.” I would do none of those things, but he didn’t know that. I might tease him, but now he was the real tease because I was already willing to give it up. Damn I sounded like a slut. But it couldn’t be helped, I’d already pretty much figured out I couldn’t say no to him. Why bother trying?

“Professional and personal shouldn’t mix.” He said simply, doing awesome at deflecting as usual. He glanced up at me, probably assuming that I would ask him why he made an exception with me, but I already knew why….at least kind of. He was just as much my exception as I was his.

“Mmm….I disagree, something about the idea of just unzipping a mans pants while he’s still wearing a suit is so tempting…”

“You don’t have to be at work to do that.” He said after a few seconds of silence, just staring at me.

“No but where’s the fun without a little risk?” I asked softly with a small grin. “I’ll send you a full mock up tomorrow. Thanks for the coffee Trav.” I replied turning to leave.

"Lila." I stopped at the sound of my name and turned to see him sitting at his desk.

"Yes?" I asked, holding my breath and trying to shake all the fantasies my head was coming up with that included that desk.

"Don't you think you're forgetting something?" he asked in a calm tone as he leaned his back against his chair. Oh god he looked so good my mouth almost watered. If only he wasn’t so damn hot!!

“What?" I asked back, wondering if he was reading my mind. "I thought you said no mixing pleasure and business." His face made that weird twitch thing again, like he was going to laugh but thought better of it.

"Your iPad." he said instead and glanced at it.

"Oh." I frowned a little, hating myself for doing something so dumb. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." he nodded, and I felt his eyes on me as I went to go pick it up and turn to leave again. "Not so fast." I stopped, again, and again shot him a confused look as I cursed that desk and that suit and everything about him.

"What else Travis? You're not the only one who got to go back to work." I snapped.

"This." He set my jaw, his voice a few notes lower than usual. "Is work."

"I'm all ears." I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms against my chest.

"Sit." he said simply, and I started to tell him that he didn’t tell me what to do but before I could he spoke again. "I said sit Lila." he repeated in a stern tone. Ugh. Fine.

"Done." I said flatly. He leaned his forearms against the flat surface and bored those damn eyes into mine. "I don't want a stupid mock up. I want everything ready as if I said yes already."

"Why? I blinked back at him.

"Because I want to see how much you're committed to this project." He explained quietly, "It's a big risk for me, I can't afford making bad decisions. And it still doesn't mean I'll say yes anyway." I couldn’t help it. I laughed a little.

“What is funny?” he asked seriously, looking confused as I continued to chuckle.

“Are all you finance guys so overdramatic?” I asked seriously. “Even if you okay the project and I decide to quit my job tomorrow you haven’t lost the company anything. It’s not a big deal.”

“I take everything I do seriously.” He replied, looking like he was struggling to find the right words. I grinned wider and nodded inconspicuously.

“Yes. I remember that.” I licked my lips, not on purpose but because every time I thought about what had happened between us I got hot and a little dizzy even.

“Lila.” He started and it sounded as if he was about to give me the “talk” I’d had it before. The “We had a great time, but I'm not looking for anything else” talk. Except this was different because we worked together. Not that I could regret it.

“Travis.” I interrupted before he could start. “I’ll get you everything you need.” I licked my lips again because suddenly my mouth went dry. “And I don’t want anything from you. Personally I mean.” I added.

“You don’t want anything from me?” he questioned.

“Yeah. Prepare yourself because this is going to be about us and not work and you’re just going to have to deal with it.” He looked at me for a second and then gave a slight nod.

“Alright.” It was almost as if he couldn’t help but see what I had to say.

“You don’t have to worry about me. I don’t want to date you, or pretend like I was so different from every other girl that sleeping with me once would change your opinion on relationships-“

“It was far more than once.” He interjected in a deep voice that resonated through my entire body. I took a deep breath and swallowed before continuing.

“Either way. Besides being annoyingly attracted to you, there’s nothing that should keep us from going about life the same way we were before this weekend.” I finished. Travis didn’t say anything for so long I almost stood up to leave again.

“Annoyingly?” he asked finally, leaning in closer.

“Yes. As in it is extremely difficult to not to picture you naked right now. Or just shut the blinds and have my way with you.” I replied. “But the thought is enough to hold me through the rest of the day.” I shrugged, knowing he’d probably take that as me being overly invested in us and although there had been moments with him that felt like more than sex at the time? I didn’t actually like him. Hell I didn’t even know him. Just his body, and that was all I planned on knowing.

"Good." His voice was set, as if he was almost bored or something. I swear I’d give anything to be able to be in his head….then again maybe I didn’t want to know.

"Good?" I echoed him, probing a little further.

"Good for you, but don't let that thought distract you from your project." I just stared at him. A part of me wanted to stand up and tip his desk over before storming off but I wasn’t going to get upset. At least not visibly.

"I'm very professional Travis." I spoke eventually, glaring at his stupid too handsome face.

"I can't wait to find out." Oh my god he was fucking smirking at me.

"Just tell me when you want everything and you'll have it the day before." I spat back at him.

"You like a good challenge, uh?" He kept smirking as he leaned into me from across the table,. "Me too."

"I'll prove you wrong. This." I paused, setting my index finger on my iPad, "Is really good."

"It'd be a first, I'm never wrong."

"Ha!" I laughed, then shook my head, "You didn't thought I could keep up with you in bed."

"Are we back to personal? I was talking about work." He said back looking lost in a thought that was all too familiar to me.

“Mmmm….that flashback your having?” I commented, pointing at his face which had remained the same, it was his eyes that had changed….just the way they looked when he was staring into my eyes as he held my hands over my head. “Hope it lasts you the rest of the day.” I winked and stood up, folding the case over my ipad as he glared at me.

‘You think you’re pretty smart don’t you?” I grinned.

“That’s not an opinion Travis, it’s a fact.” I nodded.

“It doesn’t get you anywhere with me.” I rose my brow.

“I’ve already gotten everywhere I wanted to go with you.” I grinned. “So you’re wrong twice already.” I watched as a little smirk showed up on his face but then disappeared just as fast. “If you’re so annoyed with working with me you could always hand me off to another finance guy.”

“It would be an option if I thought they could handle you.” He replied. He had a point. Most of the guys here I had eating out of the palm of my hand just with a smile. The perks of being young and pretty.

“Is this where I make a comment on how well you handle me instead?” he grinned.

“If that’s what’s on your mind.” I folded my arms over my chest and tilted my head to the side.

“Maybe I won’t make this easy for you instead. It sounds more fun to me.” He rose a brow.

“What do you mean?” I just shrugged.

“Nothing….your assistant makes good coffee.” I bent over to toss it away. “That tie does good things for you.” I added, the color matching his eyes almost identically….fu.ck must I say whatever I think always?!? I needed to learn to filter.

“As does that dress for you.” He added, though he was looking at his computer by now. I reached over and shut it before grinning at him.

“It does doesn’t it? The trick is that I don’t wear underwear with it.” Travis groaned, whether it was a sexy one or a frustration I didn’t know. Probably both. “Don’t start unless you’re willing to follow through Mr. Cole.” He reached for my wrist to go towards his laptop and a jolt of….something ran right through my whole body and I could see in his eyes I wasn’t the only one who felt that way.

"I'm always willing to follow through."

"Not always, not right now." I said more softly, sliding my hand against his as I pulled back.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He shook his head though it looked like it was frustrating him to be so “professional”. Good.

"You don't now? Weren't you old and wise?" I teased him.

"Wise? I don't know about that."

"Wise sounds boring anyway." I shrugged, feeling vulnerable and blah all of a sudden.

"How does tease sound like?" he asked slowly, making me pause to fake think about it, patting my lip with my finger.

"You tell me." I said eventually. Travis got up and walked around his desk to where I was, leading me to the door. Apparently it was time to go.

"I should, since you're all about teasing." he shook his head, dropping his hand on the small of my back. My body buzzed at the feeling of his hands on me and I hated how it was betraying me.

"You better go now, you have a lot of working to do."

“My work will have nothing to do with Apple.” I said under my breath, instead I’ll have to look up ways to get over men you worked with who looked like sex gods and could prove it too.

“Sorry?”

“You’ve really never slept with anyone else here?” I asked slowly. He gave me a slow look.

“Really.” Again I could see his apprehension, assuming I’d ask why and I had to admit I was a little curious at this point. Why he’d chosen me, what he saw, why he stayed all damn weekend when just one orgasm would have been enough to keep me ruined for other men. As it was I really had no chance.

“Too bad, I’d like to talk to someone who’d been through this.” I said, motioning between the two of us.

“This?” he asked slowly.

“The awkward, will we or won’t we do it again game we’re playing.” I replied, taking one step closer. “And you can’t fool me into thinking you’re over it now that you’ve had me once because like you said…..it was way more than once.”

“It won’t happen again Lila.” He said though his usual serious tone was a little wavering as I set my hand against his chest.



“Mmmm….we’ll see.” I tilted my head to the side and licked my lips to stop myself from licking his neck instead. And then I walked away. Damn Travis Cole. I was pretty sure he was put on this earth to be the death of me.