it just keeps on getting hotter and the hunger more profound

“Hey!” Colbie sat down at the table I had at the back of her favorite restaurant which happened to be my favorite too.

“Hi.” I smiled and reached up to kiss her.

“I’m sorry I’m late, I had the clingiest client ever.” She sighed. I rose my brows at her in question and she laughed. “Some women are pretty indecisive about houses.”

I nodded, thinking that some other women were indecisive about men instead. “It’s okay it’s only 10 minutes.”

“How was your day?” She asked, grinning as the waiter brought over a glass of red wine. She preferred red and so did I, another thing we had in common.

“It was long.” I admitted, feeling exhausted only thinking about it. There was nothing new about that though, but now I liked that my days always ended better when I saw Colbie. “My boss is an idiot. He’d make much more money and save much more time doing things differently but he’s too stubborn and old fashioned.”

“I’m guessing your way is the right way?” She teased, knowing how stubborn I was too. But only when I was right.

“It is.” I grinned.

“See I have that problem all the time. Once a month my boss is a total bitch.”

I blinked at her. “You’re the boss Colbie.” I said, a silly look on my face.

“Ahh and once a month I’m barely able to stand myself.” She laughed and I shook my head.

“I’m sure you’re an angel always.” I replied.

“Not always.” She teased, the look into her eyes getting heated and I knew she was thinking about the little strip tease she’d given me the night before, complete with cherry red lingerie and matching lipstick that ended up all over my body. Good god, she was amazing.

“Damn it Colbie we’ve been here for less than 5 minutes. Please let me make it through a date before I have to ravage you again.” I was teasing her but at the same time? I was serious too.

“Colbie!” A male voice interrupted us and Colbie looked up to see a man coming up to our table.

“Mr. Sullivan, so nice to see you.”

“How many times have I told you to call me Matt?” He grinned and Colbie blushed. Blushed. “Now when are you going to come visit me? I’ve got the place furnished nicely. New hot tub and everything.” He winked at her and I shifted, wondering if I was invisible all of a sudden.

“Oh god, sorry. Jackson this is Mr. Sullivan.” Colbie started and he cleared his throat as she gave him a half hearted smile. “Sorry, Matt Sullivan. Matt this is my boyfriend Jackson Cole.” She said and my eyes widened a little. But hers did too. She didn't really want to say that.

"Nice to meet you." I said as I shook his hand firmly, staring into his eyes.

He didn't seem to bothered and I knew why, I could tell he was a wealthy man, a lawyer or maybe a doctor, one who didn't care much about labels or boundaries, one who went after something if he wanted. Money really f.ucked with your head sometimes. "Have a nice dinner." He said back before flashing another not so subtle smirk to Colbie, "I'll see you soon hopefully."

Colbie blushed again and waved at him as he walked away, biting down on her lip. I didn't know what to say to be honest, I didn't even know where to start. "Are you mad?" She broke the silence eventually, looking concerned.

I shook my head and forced a smile, reaching for the menu I already knew by memory and scanning it. "What do you want?" I asked back, not wanting to argue and ruin our night. Lately, we argued a lot and it was always for the same reason: we didn't want the same things. I kept telling myself I had to wait, be patient, give her time, but my patient was running short while my heart was beating faster.

"I'm not sure." She said slowly and glanced at the menu herself before dropping in on the table. "Jax. Talk to me...I'm sorry if I said-"

"He likes you." I pointed out instead before reaching for my glass and taking a sip of wine.

"He has a crush on me I think." She answered simply but blushed. Again.

I nodded, guessing that maybe a man like him would be better for her. "Do you like him?" I asked out of curiosity, hoping to get a honest answer.

"We went out a few times but there was nothing there." She shrugged it off as if it was nothing but from how she kept playing with her hair I knew something was off.

"Got it." I nodded again and broke eye contact again, my mind on her words still. Of course I was tempted to ask her why she had called me my boyfriend, then again I knew it would lead to nothing and I didn't want to feel the kind of frustration I was starting to get familiar with. Maybe she just used me as an excuse to get rid of him. "I think I'll take my usual." I added, focusing on the good things like I was used to. I was with her tonight, on a date, that was the thought that was supposed to keep me positive.

“Okay.” Colbie nodded but didn't add anything.

“What about you? Do you want more wine?” I asked, just trying to be polite and regain my good mood. She nodded enthusiastically this time. I called over the waiter and ordered more drinks along with my food and whatever she pointed to on the menu.

“Thanks.” She smiled at the waiter and he rushed off to help other tables before she looked back at me with a questioning look on her face, as if expecting me to say something.

“What is he…a doctor?” I asked out of curiosity.

She shook her head. “Big business lawyer. The house I sold him was gorgeous.” She explained and I nodded but didn’t say anything, like how different he had to be from me. My house was nice, but it was no castle. “Not really my taste though. If I could live anywhere I think it’d be a little bungalow on the beach or if money wasn’t a problem a penthouse in the city.” She went on and I tried to focus on her instead of still thinking about that man. “I like to have good views.” She finished.

“That doesn’t surprise me.” I said.

“Okay stop this. We’re acting like nothing happened and it did.” She begged me.

“It’s not a big deal Colbie.” I shrugged, wishing it wasn't. No, actually the fact that it was, meant a lot. It meant I cared.

“See I knew this would happen. The minute I actually get close you freak out. Why do you think I’ve been moving so slow? One little slip up and you’re super weird. I’m not perfect. I make mistakes.”

“Colbie what are you talking about?” I asked, my brows furrowed together.

“Do you just like me because I’m hard to get? Is that it? Because you pull away the moment I even mention that we might be more than friends to someone else.”

“You weren’t even being serious. You told that guy that because it was easier than calling me your fuck buddy. Because it made him leave the awkward situation. Though with you blushing all over him I’m not sure why you wanted him to go.” I retorted, finaly saying what was on my mind.

“IF I was blushing it’s because I’m uncomfortable with his attention.” She admitted.

“Still. You didn’t mean it.” I said back.

“I might not have meant to say it, but for all intents and purposes? You are my boyfriend Jackson. So either take that bit of information like a man, or get up and leave.”

I parted my lips, then closed it and stared at her. I always considered Colbie a woman who reasonated well, whose mind followed a logic, but now her reaction didn't make too much sense. "Why are you getting mad?" I asked instead, frowning a little too.

"Because all my fears are becoming true." She breathed out, running her hands through her hair again and looking agitated too.

"Your fears?" I echoed her, having an idea of what they would be but wanting to hear them from her. I needed to, so that I could show her again who she didn't have to be scared instead.

She nodded, "Yes. That you'd get tired of me as soon as it's not fun to have a new toy to play with anymore." She explained quickly and reached for her glass of wine promptly.

I stopped her as I wrapped my fingers around her wrist gently, leaning into her from across the table and boring my eyes into hers. "Baby." I said gently.

She stared at me wide eyed, "How can you call me baby when you're already ready to be done with me?"

"The idea you have of me in your head is very different from how I am really." I started, my thumb brushing against the vein pumping under her soft skin, "And it still surprises me because I've been trying to let you know me for the last few weeks and I don't think I ever did anything wrong or act like I was getting tired of you...did I?"

She shook her head and bit down on her lip, "But what are you doing with someone like me?"

"Someone so smart, fun and beautiful?" I raised one eyebrow at her as I offered a small smirk, "I really have no idea."

"I'm serious Jax." She leaned her back in her seat, her tone quiet.

"So am I." I nodded as my hand slid down to her hers in mine, "I don't understand why you're getting mad. Should I remind you how many times you pushed me away? Or how less than one week ago I asked you if we were a couple because I wanted us to be and you said no? Or when my family assumed we were dating and you didn't even say a word? I don't even want to use that against you, but I really want you to understand that I'm not going anywhere and I want to be with you. I've been wanting that for a while now."

“Seriously?” Colbie asked, blinking back at me.

“I’m confused Colbie, what about us has told you that I have one foot out the door? Have I ever even looked at another woman when we’re together? Even when we’re not together. How did you get such a bad impression of me.” I asked even though I didn't even need an answer. Hell I wasn't even sure if she would be able to give me one.

“Come on Jax, seriously tell me that you’ve wanted this from another woman.”

I shook my head. “I haven’t. But you aren’t just any woman.”

“Because I said no to you.” She reminded me, as if she knew what I wanted better than myself.

“No. Because you are the kind of woman I want to be with.” I said back, wishing she could really believe that.

“So….” She licked her lips as she waited.

“So what?” I questioned, still massaging her hand in the soothing way.

“I’m so scared Jax.” She whispered, finally admitting her true thoughts.

I stood up to move into her side of the booth. “Of what?”

She swallowed. “I’m scared that if we don’t work my heart will break and I won’t be able to get over it.” She admitted. “When I found out about Nick cheating I was almost relieved. I didn’t mourn the loss of him at all, I was more angry than sad but Jax. You mean so much more to me.”

“Colbie.” Her name came out of my mind almost as a moan. This was good. Bad, but good too.

“I’m so sorry I’ve been pushing you away. I just didn’t know how to handle how I felt. I still don’t. I don’t know what to tell my family, or yours, I don’t know how to tell Will and I don’t know how to integrate you into his life or even if I should. This is so new to me Jax.”

I wrapped my around her and pulled her against my side, using my now free hand to lift her chin so that she'd look into my eyes. "I don't have any answer Colbie. We'll have to learn together." I said quietly.

"It sounds the perfect recipe for a disaster." She commented slowly, still wide eyed and scared.

Oddly enough, I wasn't. I wanted to be with her so bad that all the rest didn't matter. "I don't understand why you're so negative." I said simply and when she parted her lips I cut her off before a sound could even come out of her mouth. "I know. I know...it didn't go too well last time for you, did it?"

She shook her head, shifting in my hold. "I have to think about Will too, any decision I take affects his life too. I have to be a good mom before everything else."

I ran my hand up and down her arm, nodding because I had seen that coming already. Everytime I wasn't with her, I thought about her, her life, my life, how different we were and how we could make things work anyway. I usually fell asleep before I could come to a conclusion but when I woke up I wasn't worried because I didn't have a solution, I was just positive that we'd find one, with time. "Look, I get that. I do. And I don't know if you should tell Will or integrate me into his life, it's up to you and I'll be okay with whatever you want. I like the kid, it's not like I don't know him...but I understand that you have to protect him. And for your family, do you want to tell them? Do it. Do you want me to meet them? I will. You don't want that? That's okay too." I shrugged as I tried to let her know that every scenario was fine for me as long as I could call her mine.

"I wouldn't even know what to tell them." She confessed in a sigh, leaning into me and closing her eyes a moment.

"Is guess it depends." I said slowly, eyeing her.

She raised one eyebrow and gave me a questioning look. "On what?" She asked in a breathy voice.

"If we're together or not." I answered and swallowed, getting ready to be pushed away again. I wasn't going to stop trying though, I'd try until she'd agree to be my girlfriend. My woman.

Colbie took a deep breath. For a second I thought she was about to pass out too. “I’m yours Jax.” She whispered. "I think I have been since you first came on to me and I laughed.” She admitted, a little smile on her face as mine lit up.

“Damn right.” I muttered and then I was kissing here, long and hard and completely inappropriate for the setting but I didn’t care. She was mine, finally.

“Um.” Our waiter had plates of food and I pulled myself away from her to smile at him.

“You can leave those there.” I said, practically shooing him away. The young guy blushed and then I was kissing her again as she laughed a little against my lips.

“If I’m yours that means you’re mine.” She whispered.

“I am.” I agreed, more than happy to be hers.

“I can be high maintenance.” She warned me. Ugh. “I like flowers and chocolates and long walks on the beach.”

I just looked at her, neither impressed or surprised. “You like lattes and cupcakes and trips to Napa.” I corrected.

She just stared at me. “How did you even know about Napa?” She asked, smirking at me.

“Your assistant mentioned it might be the way to your heart.” I teased and she laughed.

“I still like the beach too.”

“I do too.” I kissed her again and she pulled me closer, tangling her fingers in my hair.

“I want to tell people you’re mine. I want everyone to know Jax. I would wear a shirt with your picture and a heart around it if that wasn’t so lame.”

It was my turn to laugh. “You’d have to find a real good picture.”

She laughed with me. “All pictures of you are good ones.”

“Yeah but if you’re trying to show me off I should be shirtless or something.”

She laughed again, "I want to claim you as mine not have other people drooling over you.”

“Okay to compromise you give me a picture of you shirtless.” I suggested.

She shook her head. “Sure, you can take it later.” She winked at me.

"Later, uh?" I smirked at her as I felt so happy I could start dancing. I should take her to dance too. I just couldn't believe that now we could do all the things I had wanted to do with her for a while now, but I had never had the heart to say it, too afraid to scare her.

She nodded and bit down on her lip, "Yes, later when I'll be all naked in your bed." She said and wriggled a little in my hold, "Now let me eat, I need energy for tonight."

I broke into a laugh and gave her her space, space that I could give her without worrying it could be too much. I went back to my seat, eating but eyeing her still as I kept smirking.

"What?" She asked after swallowing, her voice a little high pitched than usual and her lips curved into a smirk too.

"I said nothing." I shrugged innocently.

"You're looking at me weird!" She protested but her smirk only got wider.

"I'm just really excited." I confessed and let out another laugh, a little embarrassed, "I know I sound lame. But damn Colbie I haven't wanted someone like I want you...I don't know, maybe ever. And now that you're finally letting me be your man...wow, just wow."

She beamed at me, "You're making me melt Jax." She confessed and her cheeks became a little pink again.

"Oh I will." I told her seriously then grinned again, to make the moment lighter, or heavier maybe since I felt giddy.

"Silly." She commented shortly, eating her food and looking as if she was really enjoying it.

I refilled her glass with wine, "Let's be serious for a moment again." I said, her eyes moving to me as her brow quirked. "Nothing to worry about."

"I hope so, I don't want to worry for a while." She commented as she sipped her wine.

"Actually, do you remember before when you said you wouldn't know what to say to your family or mine?" I asked even thought it wasn't really a question.

She nodded, "Yes, go on."

I swallowed a bite, "The other night, when we were at my parents." I paused to take a drink, "They saw us kissing. So I don't think you have to worry about what to tell them, I'm sure they did the math already."

“They-“ Colbie blinked. “What?”

“Out the front window. I got an earful from my mother about not letting her know.” I smirked but she seemed shocked instead. Did she really think no one would notice anything? I was pretty transparent.

“Like….your whole family? Because if Rob saw then he’s going to tell Will and-“

I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “Baby, Will was there.”

“He what?!”

“He knows baby…I’m sorry you weren’t the one who got to tell him.” I said quietly, trying to read her.

“Oh god.” She set her head in her hands. “He has a father who’s a cheating bastard and a mother who makes out with strangers at parties!”

“Colbie. I’m not a stranger.” I argued.

“I went home with you!!!! I’m the worst mother on the planet!”

I shook my head, wishing she wouldn't freak out so easily everytime. “According to my mother your son was okay with it. He was glad you were focusing on yourself and he said it was about time you got back on that horse.” I was wincing when I said it but suddenly she was laughing. “I feel like this isn’t the reaction I was expecting.”

“He read my book on divorce! That’s what it says on the front page!”

“You have a book on divorce? And your son read it?” I asked. Will killed me.

She shrugged. “He reads everything. He’s a little weird.” She admitted. “So he wasn’t horribly embarrassed?”

“I wasn’t there Colbie I was also kissing.” I smirked at her and she took a deep breath. Never a good sign.

“Do you want to be a part of Will’s life too?” She asked seriously.

I nodded and smiled, surprised she was asking, but in a good way. I hasn't seen that coming since no matter how fast things seemed to move between us, I always had the feeling she tried to slow down instead. Maybe things were really changing this time. "Yes." I answered simply, showing no hesitation.

She widened her eyes a little, "Really?"

I nodded again as I tried to imagine how that would go, how that could go. I wasn't sure about how to handle being in a relationship with someone who had a kid then again I didn't know how to handle relationships at all...I felt ready though. Oddly enough, everything seemed to evolve naturally. "I said I want to be with you and since you have a son I knew that meant I was going to be with him too in a way." I said and grinned, making the moment lighter.

It worked because she left out a soft chuckle. "Are you sure you know what you're getting yourself into?" She asked slowly and I could see the doubts, the fears, but there was something else. There was hope too into her eyes.

"I'm positive I don't." I grinned as I held her hand tighter, "I know your son already though. I have a nephew who's his same age...that could help. I think."

She licked her lips, her brows furrowing a little like they did everytime she was thinking hard. "Will is really different from Rob, but yes I guess it could."

"It's not like he's a baby or a kid Colbie." I got more serious as I explained my point of view on the matter, "If he was just a little boy? It'd be harder. He's a teen already and a very smart one."

"He's still a baby to me and my priority number one." She said just as seriously though there was a softness in her voice that came out only when she talked about her son.

"I don't expect that to change..." I trailed off, really hoping to make things work. "I don't expect you to change the rules, I don't expect you to let me sleep with you every night or let me come over whenever I want. Which would be always, just to let you know." I paused to grin and press a kiss on her knuckles, "He'll probably needs time to get used to the idea of us, just like his mom did."

“Does your family think it’s a terrible idea?” Colbie asked, taking a sip of wine.

“No.” I frowned at her. “They think you’re wonderful Colbie why would you think that?”

She shrugged. “Travis doesn’t seem to think so.”

“Travis is paranoid.” I commented shortly. “He always is.”

She nodded and took another bite of her food with no enthusiasm. “Did he say something to you about us?” She asked.

“He warned me that what happens with us affects more people than just you and me.” I said honestly.

“Like Will.” She agreed.

“Will, yes.” I nodded. “But I’m sure he’s also thinking about him and Lila.”

She blinked. “What do you mean?”

I took a sip of wine myself. “He’s in love with Lila. He just got her back and he doesn’t want tension between them. If you and I weren’t able to work out then it could be awkward and cause that tension.”

She scoffed at me. “Lila and Travis’s relationship has nothing to do with ours.”

I smiled at her. “I know that baby. I think Travis’ initial worry was that I’d be a jacka.ss and then Lila would have to hate me for you and Travis would get in the middle. He didn’t know how serious I was…how serious I am about you.”

“He figured it out.” She said to her plate. “Now he thinks I’ll be the one to hurt you.”

I squeezed her hand again. “What are you talking about?”

“He just…he warned me not to play games with you.”

I looked at her and I was surprised but just a little. That sounded like something my brother would say then again Travis usually minded his own business. "But you're not playing games with me so why are you worrying?" I asked softly as I looked deep into her eyes, my thumb tracing circles on the palm of her hand absentmindedly.

"I'm not playing games, how could I?" She questioned back as she stared at me seriously.

"I know Colbie." I retorted quietly, almost soothingly. I was surprised by myself to be honest but I wanted her so much I'd do or say anything to keep her with me. "And as long as I know, you shouldn't think about what other people think."

"But Travis is not other people, it's your family." She explained, "And Lila's boyfriend. And your friend too."

I sighed, because now that she was finally started to stop worrying about me she was worrying about my brother. "I don't really care about what Travis think." I said bluntly.

She widened her eyes a little, "That's impossible."

"I mean, I do, of course I do." I paused and shook my head, "But if I know he's wrong? I'll let time prove him that. He's so stubborn he wouldn't change his mind anyway."

"Do...do you think I'm going to hurt you?" She asked in a small voice.

I flashed her a grin. Every relationship had risks, but it was pointless to worry about them. No one could predict the future. "I'm a big guy Colbie, I can handle some pain." I winked at her, joking.

“I have already haven’t I?”

I shrugged. “Maybe I deserved it.”

She shook her head. “No you’re wonderful to me and I kept pretending like I wasn’t falling for you.”

I widened my eyes at the confession and reached out to cup her face, running my thumb across her lips. “Are you?” I

She nodded, leaning into my touch and letting her eyes close. “Yes.” She breathed out, her words honest and her face beautiful.

“How’s everything tasting?” Our waiter grinned at us but I never even looked away from Colbie as I reached for a credit card.

“If you could box the rest up for us, we have an appointment to get to.”

The guy nodded, taking our plates and my card while I stared at the gorgeous woman in front of me.

“Are we going to a movie or something?” She asked with a smile, looking down at her watch.

“No I’m taking you to my bed. If I make it that far.”

“I bet this place has a bathroom.” She replied, her voice breathy.

“Don’t tempt me.”

“I like tempting you.” She admitted, blushing.

I reached for her cheek, brushing my thumb against her pink cheek. "You do a lot...I'm bad at resisting you."

She set her hand on top of mine as she kept them both in place, boring her eyes into mine. "Lucky me." She whispered and for the first time? I was seeing her letting herself relax.

The waiter came back with my credit card and our food, I took those both as I got up, reaching for her hand with my free hand automatically and leading her out. "Is it okay if we take my car?" I asked, my brain already working fast but not only to get her into my bed, also to have everything working for her.

She glanced down at our locked hands, biting down on her lip, "Take me wherever you want Jax." Her voice left her lips in a breathe as she followed me. "I've never been to your house." She added a moment later.

I grinned and let her hand go regretfully, "There's a first time for everything." I said before getting into my car as she did, starting the engine and pulling off the curb while excitement built in me. My girlfriend was coming to my place. In my bed. Not for tonight only, she'd keep coming back.

She turned her body towards me, "I can't sleep with you tonight." She said but this time? She was frowning.

"I know baby, I'll take you back home before my car could turn into a pumpkin." I smiled as I dropped my hand on her thigh to squeeze it, "Next time you will. No worries."

“What do you mean?” Colabie blinked over at me. “I can’t spend the night with you when Will is home.”

I nodded. “I know I mean you will when you can.” I squeezed her hand as I drove.

“Right.” She smiled. “And eventually when Will is home you can sleep at our place.” She added

Tension immediately left my body as I grinned. I couldn't wait to sleep at her place. “I hear he makes a good cup of coffee in the morning.”

She laughed. “Will found out a long time ago that Mom is in a better mood if she’s had some.”

I grinned as I pulled into my street and parked. “I found that out too.” I leaned in and pressed my lips against her softly.

“How many girlfriends have you had?” She asked, out of nowhere.

“How many have you had?” I quirked a brow and she grinned.

“None. I’m not into girls.” She laughed.

"Lila's the smarta.ss, not you." I smirked as I killed the engine, getting out of the car before walking to the other side and opening the passenger door.

She bit down on her lip, grabbing the hand I was offering her and concealing her smirk, "What am I instead?"

"Smart, gorgeous, fun...mine." I shrugged nonchalantly as I led her to the door of my house. "Two though."

She seemed distracted for a moment, taking in her surroundings carefully, her eyes scanning my house. "Three what?" She asked, blinking at me.

I let out a chuckle and cupped her face, kissing my cute girlfriend as I felt...different. Her words echoed in my head, she was falling for me and I, to my great surprise, was falling for her too. Was it too fast? I didn't really care. "Nothing baby." I smiled against her mouth, not really wanting to talk about my past and give her more reasons not to trust in us when we had just taken one step in the right direction.

"Show me your room." She whispered. I picked her up, holding her by her perfect a.ss. "Jax! You don't always have to carry me everywhere!"

I nuzzled her neck as I made my way to the bedroom, excited to have her in my space even if it was for a few hours only. "It's just an excuse to touch you." I teased her.

"You don't need one..." She trailed off, wrapping her arms around my neck tight as I stepped into the room. "I like it here." She added softly.

I set her down on the bed and hovered over her, "Good, because I plan to make you spend a lot of time here."

She ran her hands through my hair before tracing my cheek with her fingers and I turned my head to kiss her hand instead. "Is it the first time you plan that with a girl?" She asked but this time there wasn't her usual worry into her eyes.

"Here? Yes." I answered honesty and brushed my nose against hers softly, smiling, "Before you I've been numb for a long time, now I finally feel."