i'm proud to say, i got you

i'm proud to say, i got you by ssaarah

*Flashback*

"Did you know you can't drink in America until you're 21?" I asked Ben as I downed my third shot.
"How did you ever survive it?" He smirked rolling his eyes. I winced as I thought of my time in New York and pushed it out of my mind with another shot.
"I know right? 3 more!!"
"You're unstoppable." Ben shook his head as he sipped his beer and Cami pouted at both of us.

"This is so unfair." She pouted at our drinks and I reached over and wrapped my arms around my best friend who was pregnant but not at all showing yet. Hell more guys had hit on her tonight than me. Damn hot bit.ch.
"You can't drink anyways cutie bear you're 17." She rolled her eyes.
"You got me a fake ID 3 years ago Chloe." she reminded me.
"And now I don't even need mine! Wooo! Happy birthday to me!"
"I give her 2 more drinks before she starts dancing on tables." Ben teased and I grinned at him, knowing this wasn't his scene but he was humoring me on the special occasion. Also Cami had wanted a night out in a dress she'd no longer fit in in a few months and Ben was such a pushover with his girlfriend. And with me honestly.
"I could start now." I grinned at my brother as I winked at the cute bartender.
"You know you have to be at mom and dad's tomorrow morning for your birthday brunch right?" I nodded.
"Like mom and dad have never been hung over? Please." Ben shook his head again and pulled Cami closer to him, nuzzling her neck and whispering something in her ear that made her whole body blush. I felt a sharp pang of jeaousy go through me and I wondered where the fu.ck my drinks were.
"You two are too damn cute. That child is going to be the cutest thing that ever walked the earth." I admitted with a sigh. A kid with Cami's adorable hottness and Ben's structured good looks? Boy or girl that kid was going to be a heartbreaker.
"Yes." Cami grinned wide and I groaned.
"Stop being so pretty! Why do I even hang out with you?" I grumbled as Cami sipped her gingerale.
"Because I'm awesome and you love me." She shrugged. I bit back a grin as I bounced on my seat and glanced at my brother.
"What about this one instead?" I smirked.
"Isn't the answer the same? Because I'm awsome and you love me?" Ben grinned and Cami smirked at him.
"Now, that'd be pushing it." I said with a serious face before breaking into a fit of giggles.
"Can you believe she just turned 18? She still acts like a baby." he asked Cami, speaking as though he was telling a secret even though he knew I could hear it.
"I heard you! Meanie." I stood up and stook my tongue out at Ben who did nothing but wink back at me. "I'm going to get my drinks." I announced, thinking I wasn't a fan of being ignored by the people handing out liquor.
"If you don't get back in five minutes I'm going to look for you." Ben joked, though he was also serious.
"I'm 18! I can take care of myself, you better focus on the little one." I teased back before running to the other side of the bar and leaning in.
"Hey." The guy noticed my ti.ts leaning in and finally focused on me.
"How many shots of tequila do you think I can do before having to throw up?" I smirked and the guy grinned at me without taking his eyes off my chest.
"You? Probably like two." He admitted and I scoffed.
"Jokes on you Mr. Hottie bartender because I've already had 4." I winked. "Two more!" He laughed and filled two shot glasses.
"Are you trying to throw up?" He questioned. I scrunched up my face and shook my head.
"Nope, just get drunk enough to forget that my prego best friend gets more action than I do. Even if it is with my brother" I winced and downed them, ignoring the guy when he tried to come on to me because my stomach was kind of churning by now.
"If it's action you're looking for I'm sure someone could solve your problem." The guy smirked and I let my eyes look back at him.
"How old are you?" I asked as I tried to climb back onto the stool but I was having a hard time. I had a pretty high tolerance for alchohol but when I had too much? It hit me fast.
"Party time is over." Ben announced coming out of nowhere.
"But my drinks." I pouted, although I didn't remember if I had ordered more. Cami grinned at Ben, her eyes looking at him like he was the light in the world as usual.
"Tomorrow she is going to regret all this."
"Time to go home sister." Ben smirked at mr, helping me standing straight as we all headed out the bar and Ben stopped a cab, sandwiching me between the two of them.
"Wait." I looked up at my best friend and blinked back at her. "Where are you going to sleep?"
"In Ben's bedroom, with him." She grinned and I felt my stomach churn again. Ick.
"She's living with us until we find an apartment, remember?" Ben asked slowly.
"Of course I remember." I lied and followed them out, letting Ben help me to my room as if I was a little kid. I was drunk, not stupid.
"Goodnight Chlo." Ben smiled. "If you need anything we're here." He added.
"Yeah I can hear you everytime you're "here" together." I muttered to myself before stumbling into my bedroom. I pulled out my phone and noticed the text from Sam.
"Happy Birthday Baby, I miss you." I chucked my phone at my bed, I knew I should just block his number but even doing that made me think about him and thinking about him made me....my stomach flipped, in a bad way and I shut my eyes tight as I felt his hand slapping my face, telling me I was a worthless slu.t. I was going to throw up. I ran into the bathroom and dry heaved a little, trying to hold back because I honestly hated puking.
"BEN!" I shouted out, needing people around to save me from my head.
"Chloe?"
"Here." I called out from the floor, leaning against the toilet.
"Oh good god Chlo."
"I-I-" I tried for the thousanth time to talk about it to someone, especially the one person that I trusted more than anyone....but I couldn't. I just couldn't say the words. "I don't want to throw up." I said instead.
"Maybe it's better if you do." Ben replied, pulling my hair up and out of my face like the too good brother he was .
"No I hate throwing up." I pouted as my stomach churned.
"It'll feel better." Ben coaxed and I rolled my eyes.
"When's the last time you drank so much you threw up?" I slurred my words but he laughed.
"It's happened!"
"What's happened?" Cami asked, standing in the doorway before pouting. "Oh baby did you throw up?" I shook my head.
"Not yet." Ben answered for me.
"You don't have to stay here, somebody should be getting lai.d on my birthday." I commented, watching Cami's face flush a little. Silly girl.
"Don't be stupid." Ben rolled his eyes and I sighed.
"What's stupid about wanting birthday se.x?"
"You can't even walk right now, you'd puke all over any man willing to take you on anyways." I dropped my jaw and then shoved my brother who was clearly trying not to laugh.
"You're awful. I'm great in bed. You two will never actually know if you are because you'll have no one to compare it to!"
"I can compare it to po.rn." Cami suggested which made Ben finally look away from me and stare at his girlfriend.
"What?!" I shook my head.
"No way, that's totally unrealistic." I replied. "Plus the girls are always faking it."
"I meant dic.k size!" She replied rolling her eyes and Ben's face turned from shock and disgust to a big sh.it-eating grin in seconds. I put my hands over my ears.
"We've crossed the line of things I don't want to hear about." I said, probably louder than I wanted.
"You brought that upon yourself sis." Ben smirked. It was at that moment that my stomach decided to give up. I felt Ben's hands tighten on my hair as I emptied the contents of my stomach which was mainly vodka at this point.
"Feel better?" He asked, running a hand down my back soothingly. I shook my head.
"No.....wait." I threw up again, less than before and immediately felt relief course through my body.
"That is better." I sighed, slumping against the tub. Ben stood up and grabbed my toothbrush, adding some toothpaste and grabbing me a cup of water before coming back down. He kissed Cami.
"You can go to bed babe. I've got her." Cami nodded, blowing me a kiss on the way out before Ben came back to sit across from me on the floor, his back up against the counter. I took the much needed tooth brush.
"You're a good brother." I smiled. "The best."
"You're still drunk." He teased.
"Maybe." I shrugged. "But even when I'm sober you're pretty great."
"You know that tomorrow, when you'll wake up with an awful headache you won't remember this conversation but I will and I'll use it against you?"
"Oh shut up." I rolled my eyes and got dizzy again. Damn it.
"Maybe I should make a vid so that I can have a proof too." Ben added, faking a thoughtful face and I took a deep breath to clear my head.
"Oh yes, you're that smart." Still dizzy. Dizzier actually. Better than being alone.
"Everything okay?" I nodded and rubbed my hands over my face.
"Yeah. Can you go get me my pjs? I want to go to bed." I asked slowly, feeling exhausted finally.
"Of course." he grinned as he stood up from the floor, "Because I'm a pretty great brother you know." he added like the smartass he was, "Try not to fall on your a.ss please." he added as he slid his arm into the bathroom to hand me some clothes. I changed into them...or tried too, the tank top straps were hard. Also the hole where legs went should be bigger.
"Oh god that was hard." I muttered under my breath, reaching for Ben's arm for support as we stepped towards my bed.
"That's what you get for getting drunk." he grinned at me, helping to lay me down.
"I had to celebrate-" I cut myself off as I swallowed, "Everything's spinning." I breathed out taking deep breaths as I found my phone next to me and a new wave of awful raged over me.
"It's okay Chloe." Ben said in a soft comforting voice, pushing my hair off my forehead, "You just need to sleep. Goodnight."
"No!" He couldn't leave, not yet. I could't be alone yet. "Don't go yet I don't feel good."
"You're going to owe me big time sister." He said softly though he was just teasing. I knew I was being difficult....but I also knew Ben wouldn't really complain.
"I hope she's a girl." I whispered as I looked at my brother.
"Are you delirious already?" He grinned at me, but talking about my future niece or nephew always made me happy.
"I want to dress her like a doll." I admitted, picturing tiny dresses and little shoes with glitter. So cute.
"Sure." He sighed and I noticed the slight fear on his face. He was going to be a father. That was.....fuck. Big.
"Where's my birthday present? You didn't get me one." I slurred and he smirked at me.
"You already have everything, no presents needed."
"I want a present." I said instead, loving to tease.
"Being an aunt, that's my present for you." Ben teased me but that wasn't a gift because it hadn't even been on purpose. Duh. God I was so drunk.
"You're so lucky..." I sighed and Ben gave me a strange look.
"You've lost me." He admitted and I laughed.
"I mean sure it's not the traditional route and I know it's going to be hard to be a dad but you're going to have a family Ben. You have a girl who's crazy about you and you're just as nuts about her. I've never had that." Ben smiled more genuinely.
"You're young Chlo. I mean I am too, but you're right I'm lucky." He shot me a smirk and I rolled my eyes. "You'll find someone eventually."
"Yeah and you'll scare him away." I teased.
"And miss the chance to have someone else take care of you for once? No way he can have you. I'll be his biggest fan." He grinned wider and I laughed.
"Go take care of Cami instead, I'm sick of your face." I stretched my body, feeling still a little dizzy. Ben laughed and ruffled my hair before shutting off the light.
"Night crazy girl."
*Present Day*
I smiled sadly at the memory, remembering how close we'd all been. Cami, Ben and I. Able to talk about anything and everything and never worry we were saying something wrong or being judged or putting someone in the middle. Growing up sucked, but god Ben had been there for me. When was the last time I was really there for him? Sure I babysat Gabe and went out with Cami but those things were way more for my benefit than for his. I knocked on Cami's door tentitvely, knowing that Cami would be out picking up Gabe from summer camp. Hopefully he'd talk to me. He opened the door and ran his hand through his hair when he saw me.
"Hi." He said tersely.
"Hey." I sighed. I knew that Tristan had told him about what had happened and not only was I sure would that make Ben more pissed at me, but Tristan hadn't called me since. I was trying to pretend that it didn't matter to me but damn it. I liked him. Stop thinking about yourself Chloe you're so fu.cking selfish. God. I reached out and handed Ben the basket of food I'd been making non-stop to get my mind off things. Cooking helped me lose myself almost as much as working.
"Look I know you probably still hate me and I know that I fu.cked up. I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me. I know I can be a selfish bit.ch." I sighed. "I made your favorites....and if you ever wanted to talk about anything, I swear I'll listen and not talk about me at all." I smirked as I tried to lighten the mood. "I know Cami and Gabe will be home soon so I'll go." He just stared at me blankly. I knew it wasn't enough to forgive what I did, but every step in the right direction....I sighed and turned to leave before I heard him speak.
"What did you bring me?" he asked, his eyes dropping on the basket. Lately when I felt like partying instead I baked. It had the same calming effect on me but without all the hangovers.
"Find out yourself." I said with a forced smile, "I hope you'll like it. I better go now..."
"Wow." He commented shortly at all the pastries. "I just made coffee, do you want a cup before going?" he asked, surprising me but I was happy for the bit of progress at least.
"Sure, I mean, if you don't mind..." I trailed off awkwardly.
"No problem Chlo." he said quietly as he turned away to reach for a few cups. "Listen...I'm sorry we fought."
"Me too, I didn't want to say what I said, I didn't meant it and-" Ben snapped his head to me and I instantly stopped talking. Sometimes he looked a lot like Mom when she was angry. It was a little frightening.
"I know you didn't, but you said it in some attempt to defend yourself or I don't know really, but you said it and it hurt me a lot. I don't think you have no excuse really, but I also think that I love you and I don't want us to push each over away for one reason or another, we've always been close as kids and I don't want that to change. We grown up, I did more quickly, but you're a grown up woman too and an amazing one when you want it." he paused and I waited because I was sure he was going to explain. "You're not when you call yourself a hot mess, you're not when you sleep with my best friend and you're not when you say mean things just because you don't think twice." he took in a breath, and I could tell just talking about it was upseting him. Sometimes I forgot that Ben could even get his feelings hurt. He acted all tough and did everything himself without ever asking for anything. "But I'll get over it and we'll be fine again, I want us to be. Just give me some time and don't get hurt in the meantime."
I just nodded. I had to admit I felt speechless. I'd had this view of how Ben saw me and I was starting to realize it was just a reflection of how I saw myself.
"Sometimes I am kind of a mess." I admitted. "The hot part is just to make myself feel better about it." I joked and Ben laughed.
"Now that's something the real Chloe would say." He tugged me closer and hugged me. "I still need some time though."
"I get it. But I don't want to be superficial siblings who only ever talk about the weather. I actually do respect your opinion."
"And I do yours. Why do you think my son is at swim camp?" I beamed at my brother as I reached out to refill my coffee cup.
"Is he loving it?"
"I think he loves it more than home." Ben joked. I licked my lips and ran my hand through my hair.
"I'm not sorry about Tristan. I wish I could be but I'm not." Ben grimmaced and ran his hand through his hair.
"Do you think I told you to stay away from him for no reason?" He asked me, looking tired all over again. "I mean besides not wanting to think about it. At all."
"I mean I know that he could do better, and he's not even talking to me so it doesn't really-"
"Chloe. YOU could do better." I looked up at Ben with wide eyes. "Not because Tristan isn't a great guy but because you're looking for the real thing. He's not. He might never be. And as much as you pretend that you're fine with being casual and having one night stands I know you. And I know you'd rather live happily ever after with a guy who worships you."
"Not everyone get's what you have Ben." I said softly, though I was touched all over again. Why I had ever though that Ben's attitude towards me was so negative I'd never really understand.
"A son in my teens? Thank god." he said back with an eyebrow raised. I knew that it had been so hard for Cami and Ben, but now? Now they had everything. I took a sip of coffee before speaking again because I wasn't sure anymore if I could say things to Ben that wouldn't make things worse.
"I mean a family. The love of your life. Everything."
"Chloe, it's not so simple." he sighed. "Cami and I never planned to have a kid, never planned to start a family so young but it happened and now we're happy and I wouldn't change it for anything in the worlds...but did you forget how was at the beginning? Did you forget what we went through when we had to tell mom and dad, when we had to give up on our dreams, when we had to move out and find a way to pay the bills? It got so hard at some point I even dumped Cami." I rolled my eyes at him.
"Ben, you didn't dump her." I said seriously. I knew that when they ended things Ben's heart was just as broken.
"I'm glad you know that now." he grinned at me and went on, "But it was the hardest thing a teen could go through and we missed out a lot, we had to grow up so fast..."
"But now you have each other, you have Gabe." I protested, trying to show him that I wasn't ever mad at him about that, I was jealous. "I don't have that."
"First of all, you have Gabe and he loves you." he elbowed me sister playfully, and I rolled my eyes but still felt myself beaming beacuse I loved that kid more than anything. "You're so young Chlo, you have plenty of time to find love and have a family..."
"What if I don't?" I asked, slumping on a chair as I looked at him, wondering what man would want to deal with me for longer than a few months. And the ones that did? I didn't care for. "What if I can't?"
"You will." he said seriously, being a romantic at heart just like me. "But if that's what you're looking for, you won't find it with the choices you're making."
"You mean Tristan." I pointed out slowly.
"Yeah." He agreed and sighed as if he had more to say but didn't want to push it. "I know you'll do whatever you want no matter what I say, just...be careful." he said in a final tone.
I groaned and raked a hand through my hair after I set my cup down. "You have way more self control than I do." I winced and Ben rose a brow at me.
"What does that mean?" He questioned slowly, though I'm sure he already agreed with me even without my upcoming explanation.
"Okay let's both agree that you've been in love with Cami since basically her birth." He smirked and nodded.
"Okay."
"And we can also both agree that she's a slamming hottie." Ben laughed again and I added in my head the fact that I was pretty sure she was crazy in bed. It was always the innocent looking ones who were.
"Definitely." He answered.
"So how you weren't hitting that all these years? Is beyond me. If I'm attracted to someone I want to show them!" Ben folded his arms and stared at me.
"You stayed away from Tristan for years."
"No. He stayed away from me. I would have mounted his desk the first time I-" Ben held up his hand.
"God. Stop." he shook his head. "Still. You don't go around jumping every man you think is attractive."
"Well not anymore." I shrugged although I was just kidding. Mostly. "But it's not just his looks that attract me Ben....he calls me out on my shit, he's not just after me because of my name or how I look in a lingerie ad. He talks to me. I just like him." I shrugged.
"There are men out there like that that would want you for more than one night." I shrugged.
"Also he's so fu.cking hot!!" I pouted and watched as Ben groaned but then hid it fast.
"It would be actually funny seeing you go all pathetic over a guy if it wasn't my best friend." He admitted.
"I'm not going pathetic!!" I protested, then remembered I had gotten naked and waited for him in his office. Yeah.....I was pretty pathetic. "It doesn't matter anyways. I'm pretty sure you've scared him off even if he did actually like me." he raised one eyebrow, giving me a not so amused look.
"I'm sorry to break the news to you Chloe, but I didn't scare him away." I blinked, knowing that I was sure he didn't actually scare him or anything but I knew they'd spoken.
"You didn't talk to him?"
"More like he talked to me and told me about your two." Ben paused and his face looked almost ill. I knew he was trying to just look out for me but when it was that hard for him to think about? It seemed like he just didn't want me with anyone. "But not even once I told him to stay away from you or stuff like that. You're the dramatic one, remember?" He had a point there.
"So what did you say? I want to know Ben..."
"That I wasn't happy about it, that I was disappointed and that I don't approve. At all." he added. "So no Chloe, I didn't scare him off and I have no intention to. You two are both grown ups and I don't want to get caught between you two, I'm taking a step back."
"Okay, that seems a little too good to be true. What's the catch?"
"It is what it is." he shrugged, "I don't want to hear about him and I don't want to hear about you, I don't want to know literally anything. You'll deal with the consequences all by yourself and even if it still upsets me that I won't be able to look at my sister or at my best friend the same way I used to I know there's no other way for me to go through this."
"So you're basically saying you're taking a step back from my life?"
"For a while, yeah." he nodded. "I'm happy that we finally got to talk Chloe but that doesn't mean that I'm completely over it already. I need time, time to focus on myself and nothing else." I felt conflicted. I needed my brother, angry or not and being superficial with each other wasn't something I could handle.
"But what if I need your help?"
"You can call Cami." he answered and smirked though that would be telling him too. Cami told Ben everything. Not that I cared.
"That's probably a good idea." I chuckled soflty before taking a deep breath, "Okay big brother. I'll give you the time you need, which is totally and excuse to focus on your girlfriend but I forgive you because she's my best friend and I want you two happy." Ben's smirk widened and he looked so much like dad I was tempted to take a picture.
"Oh thank you, you're so good."
"I know, I'm a saint." I sighed dramatically before standing up, "I better go now. I have a class." Ben walked me to the door, pulling me into a hug when we got close.
"Good girl, pay attention and take notes." he said as he kissed my cheek. I smiled and hugged him back.
"I love you Benjy."
"I love you too Chlo."