6.30.2015

your warmth is crashing down on me

I watched as Tara ran her hand through her hair and smiled at me.
"Are you coming?" I grinned and nodded, following her into the bakery, admiring the way the white dress she was wearing flowed around her curves.
"Of course." I sat down at my usual chair and waited for the best latte and pastry I'd ever had but she blinked at me.

"What are you doing?" I looked around the bakery, we were alone, which wasn't that irregular for this early in the morning, but something felt off.
"I was going to get my breakfast." Tara laughed and smiled before climbing into my lap and wrapping her arms around my neck.
"I thought you said I was going to be breakfast." She whispered before lowering her mouth against mine. I couldn't help it. My hands flew around her body, grasping her waist and kissing her soft full lips before one of my hands moved to her neck and I groaned into her mouth.
"Caleb...." She moaned softly, "More..."
I woke up with a start to the alarm on my phone, showing me it was 5:30 and time to get up for the day. I felt sweaty and frustrated, as I shoved the covers off my body and went to take a long cold shower. Fu.ck. This was 4 nights in a row now I'd dreamed of her.  I needed to get some control over myself I ran a buisness for fu.cks sake I could stop thinking about a girl. I sighed as skipped my usual run around the winery, instead getting dressed and making myself my own coffee in the too big kitchen I never used.
"Fu.ck."
"Oh. Hi, I didn't think you'd be here yet." My assistant smiled at me as she poured herself her own cup of coffee. "I thought you usually went to Tara's for breakfast."
"I do." I admitted, not saying anything else. "What's on the schedule?"
"You have a couple of meetings, and then a wine tasting at 3 to unveil some of the newer-" Janine kept talking but I was barely listening. I nodded and took a few notes, sending e-mails and meeting with a man who wanted to invest in the company, but every few minutes my mind would flash back to my dream.
"Caleb....more...." Fu.ck.
"Bad day?" I looked up and it took me a minute to realize that Tara was here, in my office. I swallowed and shrugged.
"Um. No. Maybe." I took a deep breath. "What are you doing here?" I'd stayed away this morning because I needed some fu.cking distance and here she was in my space.
"You didn't come in this morning. I figured you might need a pick me up." She said with an almost nervous smile, reaching out to me with a bag and a to go latte cup.
"Thank you." I said seriously, my mouth practically watering at the sight.
"You're welcome." she licked her lips as she took a step forward. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt you." she added a moment later as she offered a weak smile. "Have a nice day." she said fast and turned around as if she was going to bolt away. Damn it I was being an as.shole. 
"What did you get me." I asked softly.
"An energy boost. Chocolate and coffee cookies." I raised a brow and then groaned as I took in a deep smell of the cookies.
"I need that." I said as I popped one in my mouth which was of course, delicious. She leaned against my doorframe and watched me as I ate.
"Your day can't be that bad already, it's not even 7 in the morning." she said softly. I looked up at her and for a moment she was back in my lap, begging me for more. Fuc.king hell.
"I skipped my morning run and that was a bad start." I replied as I sunk into my chair and sipped my coffee. She nodded as if she totaly understood.
"You can make up for that later and end your day better than how you started it." she suggested, playing with her hands as if she still wanted to leave.
"Good idea." I nodded, taking another long sip of my coffee. God she made the best coffee on earth. I might want her even if she wasn't so fu.cking gorgeous just for her cooking skills.
"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked, her brow furrowed in genuine worry. I shrugged.
"I haven't been sleeping well." I admitted.
"You should drink tea at night. Decaf of course. There's a sleeping tea I love. I'll bring you some."
"Does it make for dreamless sleeping?" I asked without thinking. She just blinked at me, her gorgeous green hazel eyes searching me.
"Maybe you should take up yoga and meditation too if that's your problem." She commented finally. I made a face at her.
"I don't think I'd be any good at either one."
"You're not flexible?" She teased and I couldn't help but laugh.
"As much as the next average man I guess." I shrugged.
"Usually our dreams are our minds way of working the things out we refuse to deal with in the day." She said as she stepped a little closer and the sweet vanilla scent of her got stronger.
"Some things aren't able to be worked out." I replied seriously, my eyes glued to her lips, wondering for the millionth time if they were as soft in real life as they were when I closed my eyes.
"I thought men like you always worked out everything with the nod of a head." I gave her a smile and shrugged.
"I guess I'm not the man you think I am."
"You say that a lot." she pointed out quietly.
"What do I say?"
"That you're not the man I think you are." she explained as she finally came in and sat down in the chair across from my desk. "I know I haven't known you for too long, but since the day we met? We spent at least one hour a day together, everyday."
"There are parts of me you don't know." I argued gently.
"But the parts of you I know let me think you're nothing but a nice man." she said back with a shrug and I broke into a real grin. She was too damn cute.
"You're stubborn, aren't you?"
"I am. I'm also right too until you prove me wrong." she paused, "And I can't really see that happening to be honest."
"Can you at least agree with me when I say that there are things that can't be worked out?" I asked and she nodded, while I sank deeper into my chair. Real professional Caleb.
"What's bugging you Caleb? We're friends, you can talk to me if you want." Tara offered softly, meaning it. I widened my eyes at her words. It was true I guessed, we spent more time together then I did with most people. I liked her. That was obvious. The problem was that I liked her too much. But I also kind of wanted her opinion on the matter....without making it awkward.
"There's a girl." I said slowly and she gave me a wide smile.
"Ohh." She grinned. "This I definitley want to hear about." I mentally shook my head since no, she didn't want to know.
"She has a boyfriend." I added. Tara's smile fell and she gave me a sympathetic look.
"Oh." I nodded.
"Yeah." I ran my hands through my hair. "I'm sure I'll get over it, but for now it kind of sucks." She nodded thoughtfully.
"Are you better than her boyfriend?" She asked. I widened my eyes at her, surprised by her comment.
"Are you suggesting I try to seduce her away from him?" She smirked.
"I'm sure you could but no. I was wondering if sometime she'd realize you were better and leave him." I sighed.
"I'm not better." I said finally, not adding that the boyfriend and I were related since that would pretty much just give the whole thing away.
"I doubt that." she smiled sweetly at me.
"She's happy in her relationship. There's no chances for me." I shrugged.
"So what are you going to do?" she asked, leaning in a little and giving me a really tempting view of her perky breasts. Don't fu.cking look Caleb. I swear with her I acted like I'd never seen a woman before.
"Right now I'm going with; Be grumpy about it until Tara brings me coffee." I teased, smirking as I lifted up the cup she'd brough almost as if I was toasting her. She laughed.
"Well it's working so far. Still I'm sorry."
"It's for the best. I don't want a relationship anyways and she deserves a good one."
"That's something you say a lot too." she commented once again as she crossed her legs and leaned in a little. I nodded as I sipped my coffee.
"I mean it too."
"Because you're too busy with work and all those lame things." she dismissed my words as she shook her head.
"No one of the reasons why I don't want a relationship is lame." I argued gently.
"If work is your only problem, all you need is a girl that understand how much your job means to you and who's okay with that." She retorted stubbornly.
"No one could possibly okay with how much I work." I said seriously, even though it wasn't really about that. It was the fact that I chose work over everything else. And a woman deserved to settle down with a man who would always put her first. 
"Nothing is impossible. But even if you're right...don't you think that the moment you meet a girl you really like you'd make time both for your job and her?" she questioned, her eyes showing just how intuitive she really was.
"Again, I don't know if that's possible."
"So you like this girl just for her looks? I mean, if you're not interested in a relationship...there's not much else on the plate."
"No." I admitted and scratched the back of my neck. "Though if she wasn't so goddamn gorgeous it would make my life much easier."
"Damn this girl is kind of impressing me." She smirked.
"She impresses me too." I reply seriously, now regretting I'd brought it up at all. "But even if I like her for more than her looks I couldn't offer her anything. I just want to get her out of my head without ruining everything." I sighed.
"What's that awful saying? The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else?" She smirked and I laughed because I didn't expect that from her.
"Are you suggesting I need to get laid?" I laugh. She shrugs.
"Isn't that what men do to clear their heads of things?" I shook my head.
"You're f.ucking with me right now aren't you?" She smirked and then broke into a laugh.
"Mostly." I shook my head.
"Good thing you can bake because you're not great at advice." I teased and she gave me a look of mock offense.
"I give great advice instead. I just haven't doled out my wisdom yet."
"Well by all means, I'm not getting any younger."
"No one is, really." she said back and smirked, "Not even your mystery girl."
"Right. Not even you." I said back, smiling a little even though this whole conversation was the worst idea ever.
"I'm okay with getting old." she shrugged nonchalantly, biting her lip and looking like she was thinking hard. I wished I knew what she was thinking. Also I wished I could be the one tugging her lip with my teeth. "But I suggest you not to say anything like that around your girl. Some girls are touchy about their age."
"Of course."I said shortly.
So, did I make your morning better?" I nodded, because even though she was technically the reason it had started off so bad? She really had made it better.
"Yes. Mostly your coffee." I teased and she laughed, "Thank you." I added.
"Anytime." she paused before she spoke again. "If you come to my bakery for lunch it will get even better."
"I'm not sure I have time for lunch." I made a face.
"Please?" she asked and tilted her head to the side as she looked at me with those beautiful eyes.  "I could use some company while I eat." Damn it. There was no way I was going to be able to resist that.
"I'll see what I can do." I smiled at her way too pretty face as it lit up.
"Awesome! I'll make something super yummy." She grinned as she stood back up and then turned to me at the door. "Bet your mystery girl can't cook like me." She winked and I shook my head as I drank the last of my coffee.
"Bet she can." I said to myself before settling back into my work.
**
"I was beginning to think you were standing me up." Tara pouted as I made my way to the bakery.
"You never gave me a time to be here, so I'm not late." I pointed out and she glared at me before laughing.
"Seems like you have a little lawyer in you too." She teased and I made a face.
"God I hope not. I'll leave that to John thanks." She laughed as she hurried around the kitchen, whipping ingredients together while one of the 3 people she had hired to help her came up to me with a cup of coffee.
"Can I get you something else?" The pretty girl smiled at me and I grinned, she was obviously attracted but god she couldn't be any older than 22.
"I got him Becca, you can help the new guests while I take my break." She smiled and Becca pouted.
"You already have a hot guy at home." she muttered under her breath as I tried not to chuckle, while Tara muttered under her breath before coming over to the table in the back. I usually sat up on one of the bar stools while she worked but now she was taking a break and she seemed to have a plethora of food so a table seemed more appropriate.
"Sorry, Becca is a little bit of a flirt." Tara rolled her eyes.
"I heard that!" The young girl called out.
"I wasn't being quiet!" She smiled back before she glared at her. "How about working for your paycheck now?" The girl rolled her eyes before grabbing a rag and cleaning down the espresso machine.
"I can see why you're so adamant about not hiring new help." I teased and Tara waved me off.
"Oh she's actually really good, she's a great baker, just really easily distracted." I nodded. I would be easily distracted too with Tara around me all the time. "Is your day getting better?"
"It is now." I nodded. "What is all of this?"
"We have a barley salad, grilled shrimps with parsley mayo and pita bread." she explained as she sat herself across from me and filled my glass with a dark beer.
"It looks amazing. I thought it was just a lunch break, you cooked a lot instead." I said, a little more than impressed that she had gone to all the trouble. Besides that it looked delicious. 
"This." she motioned to our plates before she grabbed her fork and smirked, "Is my idea of easy."
"Not mine." I commented shortly then brought a forkful of salad to my mouth while she watched, groaning because she could make even a simple salad taste amazing.  "So damn good. You're a talented woman Tara."
"Thank you." she said back with such a bright smile I couldn't look away if I tried.
"I thought you were good with everything sweet, you're great with everything instead." I said seriously and dipped a shrimp into the dip. Man if I ate like this every day I would forget to work. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked as I noticed her watching me. I thought I saw her blush as she stuffed a piece of bread in her mouth.
"I like see people's reaction on their face." she explained with a shrug.
"Uh." I commented unintelligently and swallowed before taking a sip of beer, "What are we drinking?"
"Isn't it weird that you're asking that?!"
"I know!" I chuckled since I was usually the one explaining the drinks.
"It's a Belgian beer." she answered eventually and I gave him a questioning look, "I love beer." I leaned back in my chair wondering just exactly what was wrong with her, besides the fact that she wasn't single. My cousin really had everything I hoped he appreitiated it.
"More than wine?" I teased.
"I love wine too, but I'm no expert." she paused to bring a forkful of salad to her mouth, "But that's what I have you for."
"It's good." She nodded.
"I know. Are you coming over for Memorial day?" She asked, smiling over at me and reminding me of the babecue her and John were throwing for family and friends.
"I'll be there." I nodded, already having agreed a few days back.
"Awesome. John says your siblings will come too. I've only ever met your brother but it was in passing. What are they like?"
"Jaden is the one you met. He's 28 and a tech anaylist."
"Wow, he must be super smart too." She smiles and I nod.
"He's been taking things apart and putting them back together for as long as I can remember."
"And your sister?"
"Jaden and Hailey are twins." I reply. "But they couldn't be less alike. She's a costume designer in L.A."
"I can't wait to meet her." I stopped myself from pushing her hair back from her eyes.
"Hailey will love you." I said seriously. "Please be her friend because she hangs out with boys mostly and it makes me nervous. Tara laughed.
"You got it."
"Jaden will probably hit on you. But he's not serious, he just likes to tease anyone who's a girlfriend of the family.
"If I remember correctly he's handsome enough to get his own girl instead." I laughed.
"Well he's not as handsome as me but he does okay." I shrug. "The cute nerd thing actually works on some girls I guess."
I shrugged and kept smiling at the thought of spending a day with family and friends. I loved that kind of things. "Not on me anyway."
"What does work on you instead?" He asked slowly, giving me a weird look and I had no idea if he was trying to read me, test me or trick me. Maybe none of those.
"Don't you know?" she replied in a playful tone and paused to bite a piece of bread, watching me shook my head. "I usually fall for handsome successful serious men. Just like you and John."
"Ah, that makes sense now." I commented, even though my stomach had flipped when she said Just like you. Damn it all. She took a long sip of beer and then licked her top lip. Did she have any idea how sexy she was just eating? I wasn't sure if she did. My ex had always known. She did things specifically to look sexy or vulnerable or confident. Tara seemed to just live.
"You're coming right, you're not going to cancel last minute..." she trailed off.
"That'd be something John would do." I pointed out but then regretted it. I can't talk bad about my cousin to his girlfriend, even though he was always cancelling on everything ever since he made partner.
"Now that you said that I can use it against you." she laughed, "My cousin and his girlfriend are coming too."
"Just them? No other relatives?" Iasked quietly, finishing my food.
"My parents and my brother are at another family thing." she explained, "Yoire going to like my cousin Travis, he's just as serious as you are."
"Yuck." I teased before smirking again, "What about his girlfriend?"
"She's taken." Tara teased back, "I don't know her though. She has to be one of a kind to deal with my cousin...he's a little hard to handle sometimes."
"All the good ones are taken." I sighed, faking a frown that made her laugh. Which made me puff up a little. I loved making her laugh.
"Are you coming with someone?" she asked.
"Yeah my brother and sister." I replied, looking at her strange since we had just said that.
"I meant a date." She replied with a laugh. I widened my eyes. I hadn't even thought of that.
"No." I said simply.
"Why not?" She tilted her head to the side and looked genuinely concerned.
"Because my whole family will be there and that would make an awkward first date?" She laughed.
"Yeah I guess."
"Plus I apparently only go for girls who are taken, so I'm hoping your cousins girlfriend is cute." Tara widened her eyes before she realized I was kidding and laughed.
"You're awful." She laughed with me and then took a swig of her beer. "You seem in a better mood." I nodded. The funny thing about Tara was even when she was the one I was upset about? She was also the only one I really wanted to be around.
"I guess I am."
"Well then. Mission accomplished."

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