it may be hard for you to, stop and believe

I stared absintmindedly at my tv, barely focus on the show I was watching and debating if getting up to grab another beer or just leave my ass rest on the couch a little more. I didn't really like spending the night home alone that much, but when all your friends are busy and your brothers too, also you got no girlfriend, what could you do? Tv was the answer, my brain refusing to work enough to read a book. Or anything else. The only thing that was keeping me entertained was my phone, buzzing from time to time from a women which not only was a view for my sore eyes anytime I saw her, but she was fun and smart too. We were totally platonic, always would, and that was probably what made me appreciate her even more.
A knock on my door forced me to get up from my couch, the motion followed by a groan as I made my way to the door. Then I blinked when I saw Lila. "I thought you were with Trav." I said to her pretty face, furrowing my brows together.

"Why, did he tell you he was with me?" She asked, her question leaving her in a hurry as her expression went from normal and gorgeous to anxious and gorgeous.
I shook my head, offering a smile. "Hope. He told me he was busy tonight and I assumed he was with you." I explained simply as I shrugged, escorting her into my livingroom after closing the door behind me.
A relieved breath left her, her body talking for her, "He told me he was busy too. Now I know that was true." She said and slumped on the couch, her eyes following me.
I walked to the kitchen, getting two beers before heading back to her and offering her one bottle. "We got both dumped." I grinned at her before sitting next to her, genuinely happy to have some company, even happier to have hers. We were friends, and while it was kind of odd having a female friend, it was also great because she made me see things in ways I never considered...but then again, maybe that had more to do with her being an amazing person. "Cheers to that." I clinked the neck of my bottle to hers before taking a long swig, my mood definitely better.
"What are you watching?" Lila asked, raising a brow at the TV where a busty blonde was dancing on a pole. "Oh my god is this porn?!"
I rolled my eyes, "Please. It's some cop show." I shook my head.
"Oh." She laughed and leaned back against the couch.
"What's going on in that pretty head?" I asked, looking over at her with a concerned expression.
"I dunno." She answered but she was a bad liar.
I sighed and ran my fingers through my long hair. "You're upset."
"Did your friends like me?" She asked.
I nodded. "Everyone likes you Lila. That's not what you were worried about you know they did."
"I just-" She shook her head and bit my lip, while I did the math.
"You want to ask about Karlie." I finished for her.
"I do." She agreed.
"I would tell you if you asked." I said, shooting her a look.
"I want to know." She admitted. "But it's not for you to tell me. Whatever happened was personal enough that I want to hear it from Travis."
I nodded, grinning at her answer. "Okay. So then what's up?"
"...I don't need you to tell me what happened. But I need you to tell me something else."
"I'm ready."
She took a deep breath before she spoke. "Is she still in love with him?"
"Eh..." I trailed off, making a face since I didn't know how much I could tell about my brother and his ex. I knew almost everything, but there had to be a reason if Travis hadn't told Lila anything on the matter and I knew better than stick my nose into their business. I was Lila's friend, I was Travis' brother too.
Her lips thinned into a straight like, her eyes on me as she looked even more nervous. "Is that a yes?" She asked, kicking her shoes off and turning her body towards mine as she crossed her legs Indian style on the couch.
I dropped my hand on her knee, squeezing it as I shot her an amused look even if she didn't look amused at all. It was cute how much she cared about Trav, it was more than cute...it was rare. My brother was a lucky guy. "In love is not the right word." I said eventually, shrugging and taking a big gulp of beer.
"Then find the right one!" She said back, sounding exasperated, her bony fingers poking my side and making me choke on the beer.
"Are you trying to kill me or what?" I breathed out, smirking.
She waved her hand in the air, as if dismissing my question. "Don't get distracted." She said and for a moment she grinned a little too.
I took a deep breath, knowing she wouldn't give up. "She's not...I mean, I don't think she is. She's my friend too but we're not that close."
She seemed a little relieved while at the same time her brows knitted together, "Like you're friend with me?"
I felt my grin widen as I kept my eyes on her, "You shouldn't really compare yourself to Karlie. You're nothing like her." I said, my words serious despite the silly expression on my face. "You're like a breathe of fresh air for Trav, she's still suffocating him instead."
"What do you mean?" She cocked her head to the side, her words coming out of her mouth slowly.
"She's obsessed with him. Addicted...he's her rock to lean on whenever she's having a breakdown and no matter how hard Travis has tried to change her behavior, it keeps repeating itself." I explained as I leaned my head back on the couch, wondering if she at least knew that my brother still saw his ex from time to time. Not that there was anything bad about that, but still.
"Oh god." Lila groaned and looked nauseous. "That might be worse than love." She admitted with a grimace.
"How so?"
"Obsessed? That sounds miserable. And you're talking about it present tense. Which means that sometimes? Travis is with her. Alone with her. And it's not that I don't trust him, but I don't know her and therefor can not trust her."
"He's with you Lila." I pointed out, because she had to know that Travis and his ex were done for good. Or at least they were now that Lila was in the picture.
"Yes. But he doesn't love me." She shrugged, looking upset and I had to admit that that upset me too a little. I felt bad for her.
I grabbed her hand and tugged it back so she'd look at me.  "He does instead." I said, full eye contact and serious eyes to convince her.
"If he does he doesn't know it. And if he doesn't know it he's much more likely to fall back into whatever he had with her."
"You think too much." I said, my serious expression gone as I sipped my beer.
"And you don't think." She smirked, throwing a pillow at me. "Enough serious talk, tell me something interesting."
"You know that girl I was with when you came out with us?"
"The redhead?"
"Yeah. Her tits were real."
She turned back to me with a shocked expression. "No way."
"Serious. Couldn't believe it myself actually."
She started laughing. "Oh god, please tell me you didn't comment on them being real." She said through chuckles, grasping my shoulder.
I let out a hearty laugh, shaking my head, "Do you think I'm that bad?!"
"Aren't all guys?!" She said back, laughing herself and looking happy and relaxed again, "I take it as you'll see her again."
"God no." I said with a shrug, finding myself smiling as I looked at her.
"See? Bad!" She retorted and started laughing again.
I turned to her, widening my eyes, "Bad?! It's called survival. Didn't you see how she was the other night? All over me...too needy!"
"Oh yes, you looked bummed." She said sarcastically, shooting me a big grin.
"Girls like that?" I said seriously, pausing to finish my beer, "Are good only for one night."
She stared at me for a long moment, "It's fascinating to see how a boys mind work."
"You seem to forget I'm one of a kind." I grinned at her, sure that she didn't mean that in a bad way. Or maybe she did but I wasn't offended, I knew I could be an a.ss sometimes.
She nudged my shoulder, "Just like your brothers." She smirked.
I shook my head, "Nope. I'm the best." I winked at her as my phone beeped and I grabbed it, the text from Colby making me grin bigger.
"Uh, I got it now...there's someone else already." She shot me a suggestive look.
"Nah." I said, letting out the part where I was texting with her sister. It was weird, because I knew that nothing could ever happen with her and maybe that was what kept me so interest and challenged in ways I wasn't usually. "It's platonic."
"Is she gay?" Lila asked, raising a brow.
"No." I laughed, thought the thought of her sister with another woman...hot.
"Ugly?" She guessed but she was so far from the truth.
"Not in the least bit." I smirked, staring at her and looking for the features she shared with her sister.
She blinked back at me. "You're platonicly friends with a girl for no reason?"
I folded my arms over my chest and glared at her. Couldn't I be friends with a girl now? "I'm friends with you!" I exclaimed.
"That's different!"
I narrowed my eyes at her, too stubborn to admit that it was different. She was off limits because she was Travis' girlfriend, if she hadn't been I would have hitten on her already. And goodbye to any kind of friendship. "How?"
"First of all? I'm dating your brother. That makes me basically a sister to you."
"Meh." I commented and replied to Colby's text instead.
She shook her head. "And we wouldn't just be friends if there was no Travis." She added nonchalantly.
"Wait what?!" I shot up from my relaxed position.
"I'm saying if we had met first I'd probably have ended up being one of your one night stands." She admitted.
I smirked from ear to ear, because no matter how nothing would ever happen with her, but knowing that she had the same kind of thoughts I had? My ego liked that. "Did you just admit to wanting me? I always knew it." I made a show out of wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close. "You're just using my brother to get close to me."
She laughed and started poking me hard in the stomach. "Don't be crazy! Lucky for me I met Travis first, he's much better looking."
My jaw dropped and then I reached out and pulled her wrists away before grabbing on to her sides and tickling her in just the right spot to make her squeal and roll off the couch. I watched her trying to get free of me but the harder she tried, the harder I tickled her. "Who's better looking now?" I asked, amusement in my voice as I finally stopped and reached for her body to set her back on the couch.
She bit back a smirk, her cheeks pink from all the laughing. "Still Travis." She breathed out.
I realized how close we were, both laying down on the couch and our bodies basically touching all over. But Lila really was like a sister to me and I would never do anything with her. My brothers had always come first. "Damn he must've brainwashed you." I sighed, shaking my head in disapproval, teasing her.
"I was about to say something really unappropriate." She confessed, looking up at me with a glint into her eyes.
I raised one eyebrow, staring down at her and tossing my arm across her side casually because really, I didn't know what to do with my arm. "Tell me." I said seriously.
She shook her head faster and grinned, "Nope."
"Do you want me to start tickling you again?" I asked as I smirked back at her.
"Trav brainwashed me with his penis." She surrended eventually, making me groan.
"Oh good god Lila." I tossed my head back on the cushion of the couch, "I didn't want to hear that."
"Hey, you insisted!" She kept smirking, squeezing herself between my body and the couch as she propped herself up on one elbow to look into my eyes.
I stared at her seriously, "I won't next time." I muttered.
"Smart man." Lila grinned. "I'm full of things you don't want to hear."
"I know it." I grimaced and pulled back. "Why are you here making me want to throw up anyways?"
"You love having me around, it's refreshing to hang out with a hot girl who also knows basic math."
I laughed. "Yeah that's you. Basic math."
"What does that mean?"
"You went to Yale Lila, you're in a completely different leauge than most women."
"Is that a bad thing?" She asked, blinking back at me.
"Of course not. You're not snooty about it. You're smart but you don't need people to know you are. Half your family is famous, but you don't name drop like most people would."
"Name dropping my own brothers would be pathetic." She said seriously. "They're all dumbasses anyways."
"And you have kind of a potty mouth. It's no wonder my brother is crazy about you. You're perfect."
"Okay stop that." She blushed and shifted on the couch. "I'm far from perfect. I piss off your brother every other day."
I raised one eyebrow at her, brushing my thumb against her pink cheek because it was too tempting and wow, it really felt like silk. Or rose petals. "I doubt that, Trav is not that easy to piss off." I said back.
She snorted, sounding like a cute piglet, "Are we talking about the same person? He is so easy to piss off instead." She retorted, looking upset.
"When he gets mad, he get really super f.ucking mad. But with you? I'm having a hard time imagining him mad at you." I went on, adjusting on the couch as I propped my elbow on a cushion and leaned my face against my hand, staring at her. She looked like a fairy, how could any person get mad at her?
She rolled her eyes, "Weren't you watching the other night?"
I shrugged, remembering that but seeing no big deal. "He was in one of his moods, nothing personal Lil." I explained, knowing my brother like the back of my hand.
"Yeah sure." She muttered, neither sounding or looking convinced at all and that was also what I liked about her. She was able to think with her own head, which was kind of rare for girls who were as beautiful as she was. "But even if you were right-" She started again but I cut her off.
"And we both know I'm not." I said with a big grin, reading her thoughts and causing a little smirk appear of her lips too.
"And you're not." She repeated as she shot me an amused look, "I don't like that anyway. If he's in an awful mood he shouldn't pick on me."
I nodded, "I agree on that one." I said and I meant it, then again, every person had his flaws and my brother was only human. There were two sides to every coin and if she liked the good one? She had to deal with the bad one too.
"Did I say that I really really like you?" She asked, grinning at me.
"A couple times." I said back and shrugged nonchalantly, not biting back a smirk myself though.
"I'd like you even better if you..." She trailed off, as if looking for the right words, "If you could talk to Trav or something."
I shook my head immediately, "I'm never going to do that Lil. I like you an awful lot too, but I have to mind my own business."
"God I know and that's not what I meant." She rolled her eyes, then sighed, a frustrated expression on her face, "I mean...I don't understand if there's something wrong with me, something that Travis doesn't like and he doesn't want to tell me. It'd be nice if I could get some hint from one of the persons who knows him the best."
"I'm 100% sure that my brother is crazy about you and that there's nothing wrong with you." I told her quietly, adding a smile to reassure because I didn't want her to beat herself just because Travis was hard to handle when he had a bad day. "I don't need to talk to him to know that...but I'll see what I can do, okay?"
"There's plenty wrong with me by the way." Lila added.
"Oh? Like what?" I asked, she seemed close to perfection to me.
She shrugged. "I'll buy new clothes sometimes instead of doing laundry." She admitted. "And I have totally irregular sleepig habits. Also if I don't get my coffee I'll be a raging bitch."
I was laughing, because she sounded like most of girls. "I'd love to see you even attempt to be a raging bitch." I said seriously.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Is it a bitchy one?" I asked, my eyes twinkling in amusement.
"Have you ever had a girlfriend?"
I nodded. "Yes." I said simply, leaving it at that.
"Did you love her?"
I shrugged, not sure about that. I thought I was in love back then but I was just a teen. "I was young. Who knows what it was?"
"So the girls now, do you just fuck them once and then you're done or do you keep them around for a while?"
I widened my eyes again and leaned back. "Why?"
"I'm just wondering what goes into the mind of a playa."
"I don't think you can pull of saying playa." I repeated, shaking my head. "And to answer? It depends on the girl."
"Depends on what exactly?"
"What are you getting out of this?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at her.
"Why do I have to have an ulterior motive besides getting to know you better?" She asked back.
"Because you're a girl."
It was her turn to laugh. "Okay okay, I'm thinking maybe if I can get into your pervy head I can find a way to make a good girl stick around."
"Ahh, you see that's the trick. I never go home with the good girl." I winked at her and she smirked.
"You mean the good girls don't agree to go home with you."
"Are you crazy? Good girls love bad boys." I smirked back at her because even if it sounded like a cliche? It was true too.
She rolled her eyes, "That's b.ullshit." She retorted.
Her language only made me smirk wider as I looked at her, "You're the living proof that it's 100% true." I pointed out.
"I'm not that good and Travis is not that bad." She crossed her arms against her chest, staring at me with a servious expression on her face.
"You can't resist longer than 30 seconds without mentioning my brother, uh?" I teased her, doing my best not to look at her cleavage. She was off limits, but I was still a man.
She rolled her eyes again and ignored me, "If what you say it's true, you should have plenty of good girls at your feet." She went on with her reasoning.
"I do." I shrugged.
"I see none." She raised one eyebrow at me, this time was her turn to look at me in amusement.
"You know, the problem with good girls is that they're dying to get with the bad boy, because we're admittedly the most charming ones." I said and she elbowed my side, "But once they get us? They don't know how to handle us."
"I handle your brother just fine." She said back.
I was surprised by her confident answer because just earlier? She didn't sound so sure about that. "I thought you weren't that good and my brother not that bad."
"We met halfway." She grinned at me before flipping her hair back, noticing my phone vibrating once again, "Is that one a good girl?"
"I don't know, you tell me." I shrugged and when she looked at me with a questioning face, I confessed. "It's your sister."
She widened her eyes and shook her head, "Oh my god you're kidding me." She said, her mouth dropping open and when I shot her a smug grin, she recovered. "Don't play games with her, she already have enough on her plate."
I smiled genuinely this time, liking how she was getting protective in a heartbeat. "Don't worry Lil, I told you...it's platonic. I like talking to her, and if she didn't have a son? She could be the perfect woman for me."
"I don't like how you're talking about my nephew." She narrowed her eyes on me.
"Calm down Lil, I like him a lot. I'm just saying that I couldn't give her what she needs and having a kid makes things more complicated, that's all." I explained. "And beside that, I'm not looking for a serious relationship so stop playing cupid." I grinned at her.
"Do you want to fu.ck her?" Lila asked, raising her brow.
"She's beautiful." I shrugged. "But I told you, it's platonic." I nodded slowly.
"Colbie's no good girl." She smirked, sipping her beer.
"No?"
"Hell no." She laughed.
"Interesting." I smirked.
"My sister was the one who'd sneak me beers when I was in high school, and find ways for me to hang out with boys without my brothers finding out."
"You seem close."
She nodded. "We are." She agreed. "She's different now though. Like the old Colbie always wants to get out but she can't let it. She does sometimes with me though."
"Tell me more about her bad girl phase." I smirked.
"She got grounded for a month when Reece found a joint in her purse." She laughed. "He threatened to call the cops on her."
"For a joint?"
"Reece is a little intense." She admitted with a wince. "That man needs a girlfriend to focus on so he can stop obsessing with his family." I laughed and she went on.
"Tell me about you and your brothers when you were growing up." She smirked. "There must be plenty of stories there."
"Why are you asking me?!" I protested, though I was still grinning, "Ask my brother!"
She poked my side, making me grab her hand and bite her finger as she spoke, "I already did...ouch!" She said taking her hand away from my grasp.
"That didn't hurt." I said nonchalantly, watching her in amusement as she rubbed her finger.
"He told me something...but I want to know the juicy details about him, the ones that he'd never tell me." She went on with a glint into her eyes.
I laughed again, "The embarrassing ones you mean?"
"Yep." She nodded, bumping her bony shoulder with mine, "See, you always get me."
I ran my hands through my hair, "I don't know...let me think."
"Faster!" She urged and I raised one eyebrow at her, her lips curving into an innocent smile that didn't fit her at all. "Please."
"I don't know, I don't think he ever did something embarrassing...not that I remember." I shrugged, my mind blank.
"That's impossible." She pouted and crossed her arms against her chest, "Do you really want me to think your brother is perfect?"
I laughed one last time, because really, she killed me sometimes. "You should ask my mom, I'm sure she has a lot to tell you. We were all hard to handle, but Travis? Damn he was a hurricane when he was little. If he disappeared and you didn't see him for longer than a minute, he had to be up to something for sure. He was the master of mischief and would do anything to get some attention...being the little one was hard on him sometimes, but he made sure to step up and prove he was just as bad as us." I told her, with a smile on my face because they were good memories.
She smiled with me, obviously enjoying my story, "How old was he when all of this happened?"
"He was like this until high school." I shrugged, then added, "You would've loved him even back then. But where were you? In kindergarten?" I added with a teasing smirk on my face.
"Oh ha ha, I'm so young." Lila rolled her eyes. "I was in like the 5th grade instead."
I laughed harder, shaking my head. "Leave it to Travis to fall for a baby." I smirked and she stuck her tongue out at me.
"Shouldn't you be going out by now? Aren't there slutty girls waiting for you at all the clubs?" She asked, leaning back against the couch.
"Probably." I grinned and wiggled my brows at her. "Do you want to come with and be my wingman?"
"What would that include exactly?"
I shrugged. "I'm not sure, I've never had a woman do it."
"What do Trav and Adam do then?"
"Mostly we just get a booth and women come to us." I explained simply because for us, it was that simple, but now what both Travis and Adam were taken, it wasn't as fun as it used to be.
"And since they're both taken you get your pick."
"Lucky me." I agreed.
"You're awful." She laughed.
I faked a serious expression, "Is it because I look too good? That's not even my fault."
She smacked my arm and grinned, "Stop it, silly man!"
"No need to use violence." I shook my head and massaged my arm, pretending to be hurt. Ha. She had the strenght of a baby, for real.
This time she rolled her eyes, leaning into me to press a kiss on my cheek as she smiled, "Better now?"
I grinned finally, "Your kisses are magical." I said as I nodded.
She gave me a long look and blushed a little, "Thank you." She said simply.
I studied her a moment, realizing she looked a little awkward. Weird. "You're welcome." I paused to offer a smile, "So, do you want to go out or not?"
She shrugged, "I dunno, do you?"
"Hey, I asked you first." I said back, grinning as I poked her side.
"Fine. Maybe I'll get you a higher class of woman."
I laughed. "My guess is with you next to me no women will come up to us."
Lila blinked. "Why?"
"You're hot. Why would they try if they thought I already had you?"
"I'll pull them aside and tell them we used to be together but I wasn't enough for you sexually." She laughed at herself as I laughed with her.
"That might work." I said finally, grabbing her hands to pull her up.
"Go put a new shirt on though....something blue."
"What?" I wrinkled my eyes at her. "Why?"
"Just trust me on this one." She said, making no sense at all.
"Fine." I pulled off my tee and tossed it on the floor on my way to my bedroom.
"Is the floor your new hamper?!" She called after me.
"Don't stress me Lil and don't talk like youre my girlfriend." I yelled back, grinning to myself as I got into my room to change into a clean pair of jeans and a shirt, buttoning it up and looking at myself in the mirror.
"I'm a damn good girlfriend if you ask me." She said, leaning against the doorframe with a teasing smirk on her lips.
I turned to smirk her back, running my fingers through my hair and only messying them more, "I should ask to Travis instead."
She rolled her eyes and gave me a look, "That shirt is not blue." She pointed out.
"I'm aware of that but thank you for telling me." I smirked wider, putting a pair of boots on before I grabbed my phone and wallet and sliding them both into the pocket of my jeans.
"I'm offended you didn't trust my fashion sense instead." She said, faking a small pout.
"Don't I look good in green?" I asked and pouted myself, only breaking into a bigger smirk when she rolled her eyes again. "All the blue ones are dirty." I confessed.
"Probably because your laundry is strewn across the apartment like a frat boys." Lila said sweetly.
"If this is how you are as a girlfriend? You must be epic in bed for my brother to put up with you."
"I am." She said seriously, walking out with me and pulling her phone from her purse when it went off.
"Who is it?"
"Trav." She told me before hitting the accept button. "Hey." She said then paused. "I'm about to go get a drink with Jax. How was your day?" She went on, sounding all cute and sweet...good lord. She had it real bad and I wasn't sure of where my brother stood in there...I knew he cared about her, loved her even, but their relationship wasn't balanced at all. He had her in the palm of his hand. He'd snap his fingers and she'd run.
"Okay." She hung up and grinned at me. "I have to go."
"You're ditching me for my brother?"
She faked a thoughtful face. "Let's talk it out....getting naked with my super hot boyfriend or helping his not as hot brother get laid.....which sounds better?"
"You're the worst and I hate you." I said semi-seriously.
She leaned in and kissed my cheek. "I'm the best instead. Good luck tonight."