I ain't easy and I make you mad, least I ain't sleazy I'm just trying to put the world to rights

I took one last deep breath as I knocked on Tristan's door, keeping my fingers crossed that he'd be home. After talking with Cami, I had decided that it was time for me to see my best friend again, I had come to the conclusion that the amount of time it'd take me to get over him and my sister having some kind of relationship, no matter what kind it was, would be a long one and I couldn't really stay that long with my best friend out of my life. When he opened the door, a surprised look appeared on my face and I lifted the bottle of wine I had in one hand, without saying a word, then when he blinked I lifted the other hand, holding a bottle of whiskey. "I didn't know what your mood would be." I said as I offered a grin to break the ice, realizing that I was really happy to see him.

He grinned back at me, looking relieved for a moment as he opened the door further, "I'm not sure either."
I walked into his apartment and glanced around, everything was still the same, except maybe it was a little messier than usual. Spinning on my heels I watched him close the door, "Did you eat already?" I asked, now studying my best friend who, just like his apartment, looked as usual just a little messier. He shook his head slowly, looking at me as if I was a lunatic. "Then I say I'm ordering us dinner and we can have wine. We can save the scotch for later." I announced as I set the two bottles on one table, then texted the bistro we always called whenever we watched sport on tv and couldn't bother to move from the sofa.
"You're acting weird." He said finally, looking as if there was a lot going on in his head and I bet it was. But we had all the time we needed to talk about that too.
I shrugged, sliding my phone back into the pocket of my jeans, "I'm acting normal instead." I retorted as I slump on his couch, tempted to set my feet on his coffee table too but I didn't. I was doing my best to act relaxed, to start this night in the best way so that we could talk without fighting again, but I'd lie if I said it was easy.
He sat next to me, shaking his head, "I wasn't expecting you to come."
"Well, I was missing our romantic dates too much, so here I am." I said nonchalantly, as if it was no big deal when it was instead, even offering a grin.
Tristan grinned back, "I overheard Cami talking about your date with Sean instead. I hate to admit that I was more than a little jealous."
I laughed and relaxed a little before shrugging my shoulders, "Sean is too carefree. I miss your stubbornness and how awkward you are out at clubs."
He laughed with me and leaned his back against the couch, "How have you been?"
"Good," I said simply, leaving it at that.
He nodded his head, "I heard a rumor about you taking over the agency."
I looked at him with raised brows, "Did Chloe tell you that?"
He shook his head, "Just typical office rumors."
"Good, because Chloe doesn't know anything yet." I said simply, frowning a little at the thought of having to talk to my sister about such a complex topic.
He turned his head and blinked at me, giving me the feeling that he had a lot on his mind and he didn't know where to start from. "So is it true?" He asked eventually.
I pursed my lips togetheras I stared back at him. "I wonder how someone could even know." I said back, surprised because no one except for my mom, dad and Cami knew it.
"I take it as a yes." He grinned at me, a genuine grin that I had misses so much. But I'd never say it, in my head sounded gay enough already.
"Don't worry it will take a while before I'll be your boss." I joked as I grinned back at him, acting nonchalant even though it was a pretty scary change.
He let out a small laugh, don't looking exactly relaxed, but we were getting better. I knew there would be a moment of the night when we'd have to talk about our so called fight seriously, but for now we could keep focusing on other things. "I can't wait to see you everyday. My coffee break will be a lot better." He said in the same playful tone.
"You bet." I laughed myself before getting more serious, "How are you doing Tristan?"
Tristan shrugged his shoulders and looked as if he didn't know where to start, or what to say. "I've been better," He answered skeptically, but that I could tell alone by the look on his face. "Working a lot."
"Don't you ever have any fun?" I asked and grinned at him, already knowing the answer.
"No," He said simply and grinned back. "I went to one of the agencies parties... one for a designer. Barely lasted half an hour," He told me, surprising me because he hated parties in general and that was a really bad one to go to.
I laughed, "Even I avoid those parties."
"When you take over, won't you be expected to go to all of them?" He asked with a brow raised.
"Since when are we back talking about me?" I asked him in a playing tone, my brow raising and matching his.
He shrugged, "I was curious." He commented shortly.
I nodded, getting that he probably wasn't in a joking mood, so I leaned my back against the couch, "I don't know. I don't know where to start with, it's a whole new word for me...but to answer your answer yes, I think at some point I'll have to go to all of those parties, but as long as my mom loves being a party girl? I think I can skip them."
He finally seemed to relax and chuckled, "Is that how it will work?" He asked, looking amused.
I let myself smirk again, shaking my head, "Probably not...I'll have to go and you'll come with me. That's the only way I can not die of boredom at one of those parties."
"I'm honored that you'd take me over Cami, but won't she mind?" Tristan asked.
I shook my head then shrugged my shoulders, because there were plenty of parties I could take Cami too, "No."
He kept his face serious and studied me, "Are you guys still together?"
I was confused by his answer but answered quickly, "Of course. Why would you ask that?"
He shrugged, "Just curious why you'd bring me as a date over your girlfriend. I know that I'm good looking, but she probably looks better in a dress than I do," He grinned.
I stared at him blankly, not getting his point of view really. "Cami's not a big fan of parties and I rather take her to other places...that said, I'm sure I'll be forced to go to so many parties I can go with her, with you, with Gabe, with half of the world."
"But you said you'd have fun with me only." He said back nonchalantly and I wondered if he was still seeing Chloe since he seemed to be a little...I didn't know, he seemed different.
I forgot my efforts to joke and my face turned more serious, "I was just trying to say something light since it's already as hard as it is to come here and pretend nothing happened with you, my sister, and all that stuff. Of course I have fun with Cami too, if I didn't I wouldn't spend so much time with her and I wouldn't plan to spend the rest of my life with her either."
Tristan nodded and let a grin play on his face, "Fair enough, but you know how I hate those parties more than anything."
I lightened up at his words and grinned back, "If I'm the boss, you'll have to go."
He snorted, "Is that how it works?"
I nodded my head and faked a serious expression, "I'll add it to your requirements: weekly dinner date/escort to work related parties."
He tossed his head back and laughed before looking at me again, "I've been on much worse dates. I could probably manage that. But once a week? You're pushing it."
"Yeah I think so too." I agreed, grinning as I thought about it, "I couldn't survive that either."
"Because of me?" He asked, faking a hurt expression that only made me gin wider.
I shook my head, "Because I'm not much of a party boy anymore. Cami wouldn't be happy about that and I wouldn't either."
"Why, doesn't she trust me? I would never steal you from her." He went on with his joke, which was nice because it kept us far from more serious subjects.
I laughed again, "No, not at all. She's your big fan too." I paused to let my smirk turn into a smile, "Speaking of which, she told me to ask you if you want to come over for dinner one of these nights."
Tristan smiled genuinely at the invite and nodded his head, "An actual home cooked meal sounds perfect. Just tell me the day and time and I'll be there."
"I will," I replied with a smile on my face, happy that he had said yes.
"So why are you skipping out on New York Fashion Week this year?" He asked after a moment.
"Have you been keeping tabs on me?" I asked with an amused look, even raising a brow.
He laughed, "Of course. After hearing about your date with Sean, I haven't known what to do with myself."
I laughed with him, "Don't worry, there's nothing special between us." I said in a joking tone before getting more serious again, "I just came back from Milan, I've been away for three days only and what I got was Gabe crying and Cami being afraid we'd go back to the point where I'd travel all the time and leave her alone."
He listened to me carefully, one of the many things that made of him a very good friend. "So you're doing it for them?"
"Not just for them." I paused, trying to explain myself better and if there was someone who I always told everything to? That was Tristan. And Cami, of course. "You know I never liked modeling that much, it was the most logical choice to make back then when Cami was pregnant but now I got tired of it and I want to do something more than just get half naked in front of a camera."
"Oh, poor Ben and the hard life." He teased me and when I rolled my eyes he went on, doing the math, "So they're not just rumors, you're taking over the agency."
I shrugged awkwardly because I still felt very insecure about that, as sad as it sounded, I had never had to use my brain for work and now I had a lot of pressure on me. "I am, sooner than later. I'll still model a little you know, money comes easy from photoshoots and I might still walk down the runway from time to time, but I'm not going to travel anymore, not for work."
"I think it's a good decision," Tristan nodded his head. "You'll have a lot on your plate though. Who knows if you'll still want to model... You definitely won't need the side work."
My lips quirked into a grin, "My dad still models from time to time. Nothing will stop that man from posing in front of a camera."
He grinned with me, "Your father loves the attention while you?" He shook his head, knowing me well enough that I wasn't the vain kind of model who loved himself more than anything and anyone else, or the kind who liked being in the spotlight all the time. I had started modeling because it had been the most logical choice, not because I wanted to be a model.
"I know, I know," I replied, knowing where he was going. "It's going to be a lot to take in."
"Would you rather pose in your underwear for the rest of your life?" He lifted a brow in amusement.
I made a face and shook my head since I still cringed everytime I saw pictures of myself on the walls of the city where my bulge was bigger than my head life size. "No thank you." I paused, sighing, "I wonder what people will think when I'll take over the agency. That I'm a model without a brain and that I won't be able to follow my parents' footsteps."
"Is that what you think?" He asked, sounding genuinely interested in my answer. That was what best friends did.
"I'd lie if I said that the thought doesn't worry, but I hope to prove everyone wrong." I said and shrugged nonchalantly, not wanting to get into a too serious conversation because it felt as if I had visited him only to complain and it wasn't like that at all, but damn I had missed to have someone to talk to other than Cami. "For now though, you'll still see me everywhere wearing my Calvin's." I added with a grin.
He laughed, shaking his head, "Stubborn, aren't you?" He asked, looking amused all over again.
I shrugged again, "Those are easy money and I'm going to need a lot in the near future." I explained and he shot me a look that let me know he wanted to know more. "Cami and I are moving, she's going to quit her job soon and open her own art gallery...oh and I have something for you too. Get ready to be my best man soon."
Tristan's eyes widened from all the words I was saying, I couldn't blame him because it was a lot to take in. "You proposed to her?" He asked and grinned at me, looking happy about the good news.
"Not exactly," I replied and he laughed.
"What do you mean by not exactly? Either you have got down on one knee and put a ring on her finger, or you haven't," He said with a brow raised, amused as hell.
I gave him a look, the unamused kind of look that said 'I'm not an idiot, you idiot.' "Don't you think I know that?" I said eventually and he laughed again, unable to resist apparently.
"Well I'm happy for you, regardless of you not actually being engaged yet," He told me, being honest. "Do you know how you're going to do it?"
I took a deep breath, because that was a thing I had been thinking about a lot lately. "I have no idea. I can't decide because you know, no one teaches you how to propose, I want it to be perfect but not too cheesy...I'm starting to sound like a girl." I sighed and when he laughed again, I laughed with him, the kind of laugh that was liberating and eased the tension.
"Cami's going to say yes no matter how, you shouldn't worry." He said eventually, still looking amused.
"I even thought about involving Gabe, then again would that be too much?" I asked out loud, both to myself and to him, but when he shot me a look that meant I needed to calm down I grinned. "Enough talking about me, I'm getting tired of hearing myself. Your turn to spill the beans." I said and reached for the bottle of wine, because even though our food was still on its way, a glass of good wine was always a good idea. Mostly if I was going to hear my sister's name.
"What about me?" Tristan lifted a brow and stared at me before getting up and walking towards the kitchen to grab us two glasses. "I wake up, work, work out, then come back home and sleep and repeat," He said seriously and shot me a grin from the other room.
I rolled my eyes and then shook my head, "That's not all you do."
He shot me a look while walking back into the living room, "How long have we been friends now? You know how boring I am."
"Thanks," I said while he handed over a glass, watching me pour one for myself then for him. "So nothing new?"
He parted his lips and then closed them, a clear sign that maybe there was something but he wasn't going to tell me. "Nothing new," He said eventually with a shrug.
I nodded my head as I sipped my wine and stared in front of me absentmindedly. I was tempted to ask him about Chloe, then again I had been the one telling him I wanted to know nothing, only now I felt has because maybe I wasn't being a good friends to him. "Nothing good, but nothing bad either." I said eventually turning to him and offering a smirk.
"Yeah that's right." He smirked back at me but there was something weird about him, something off. Or maybe it was all in my head.
"We should start working out together again." I said, wanting our friendship to go back to where we had left it, to our habits, "I tried to run alone but it's a lot more fun with you."
"Isn't everything more fun with me?" Tristan joked back and we both laughed.
I faked a thoughtful look before shaking my head, "You're right. You are boring,"
He grinned back and leaned his head against the couch, "Yet you keep coming back." I parted my lips when the doorbell rang and he sprung up to answer it, "I'll get the food. My treat."
"Thanks, but I already paid," I smirked. "We'll get drinks later this week and it'll be your treat."
"That's no way to ask a man out," He replied and smirked, opening the door and taking the food from the delivery boy, thanking him and closing it behind him. "God this smells good."
"Only the best for us." I grinned at my friend, following him into the kitchen and watching him as he pulled our food out of the boxes, already knowing what was mine and what his without needing to ask.
"Damn you really made us sound like a couple." He grinned back at me.
"Why, aren't we?" I kept joking as I went back into the other room to take our glasses and wine only to go back to his kitchen a second later. We both sat at the table, focusing on the food for a moment. "You need a girlfriend Tristan." I said as an afterthought, after swallowing my bite.
He lifted his head and looked at me with a brow raised, "Are you drunk already?"
I grinned wider and shook my head, "No." I said simply but took a sip of wine.
"Where is that coming from?" He asked, looking amused.
I shrugged as I leaned back in my seat, looking my friend, studying him. He was of course a good looking man, had a good job, a great sense of humor, he was smart...there was nothing missing. "Wouldn't it be nice to have someone there for you? Beside of me of course."
"You mean someone to pick up your slack?" Tristan lifted my brows in amusement. "Cook me meals and do the laundry?"
I laughed and shook my head, "Oh right. You're an asshole. No wonder you're single."
He laughed with me friend and shrugged his shoulders, his face going back to serious while he really digested my words. "Honestly? You're probably right," He said slowly.
"I usually am," I grinned back, boasting a little over being right, something I didn't do much unless it was needed. Like right now. He laughed softly again and focused on his food, looking closed off again. "You're successful, but it gets lonely when you have no one to share that with." I added when he kept quiet.
His head flicked up so he could toss me a grin, "Now you're starting to get sentimental. Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm great." I shrugged and paused to sip more of my wine. I was admittedly a little sentimental by nature, I had always believed in true love and in my dreams there had always been a wife, a family, a home...I had to blame it on my mom. "I'm just saying, I know how it feels."
His grin got wider and got teasing, "Right, the hard life of a successful model when he has no girlfriend, a novel by Benjamin Lindsell."
I grinned with him, because he was just being silly, "Yeah make fun of me all you want, but you know what I mean." I said before taking the last bite of my food, "I know you're against relationships and that being single has some great pros, but at some point doesn't it get old? Do you want to be 50 and still hook up with random girls?"
"Just because you're one step to getting married it doesn't mean everyone has to follow your same path." He said back with a shrug, leaving me wonder what he was really thinking.
"I know that too, I'm just saying that in my modest opinion you could use some kind of stable female company in your life." I said quietly, smiling to let him know that I was only speaking my mind.

Tristan lifted a brow as he stared at me, bringing his glass to his lips and taking a sip before speaking, "Are you planning on setting me up on blind dates?"
I grinned and shook my head quickly, "No, you'd scare women away and then it'd give me a bad reputation. I'd be considered the worse matchmaker."
He laughed and shook his head, "Stick to modeling or running the company. Matchmaking should be a womans job."
"Sexist," I commented back but was still grinning. "Is there something wrong with my taste in women?"
"Are you offering Cami to me?" He asked instead, faking a serious face.
"Ha! Not even if I were dead," I grinned at his serious expression, not taking his teasing seriously because that was what it was, teasing.
He shook his head, smirking this time, "You've never been good at sharing."
"I warn you, Cami comes with an adorable crazy little man," I said and it was my turn to fake a serious face now even if it was hard to talk about the loves of my life without smiling.
"That's a deal breaker. Even if he's a mini you." He paused, then added, "Mostly if he's a mini you."
I laughed this time, amused by his words, "Right. She has a friend though...you might be interested in her."
He raised one eyebrow at me. "Who?"
I took a deep breath. "Her name is Chloe," I said eventually.
Tristan near choked on the sip of wine he had in his mouth, coughing a little too. Parting his lips, looking at me with another serious expression, this time real, "What changed your mind?"
"I'm not sure my mind has changed," I answered honestly, because I wasn't completely sold on the idea. "But Cami thinks you two are perfect for each other. You'll balance each other out."
He kept staring at me and nodded his head slowly, "But do you think that?" A silence fell between us and he didn't wait another second for me to answer before he asked another question, "Do you trust me?"
I blinked at him, "Trust you?"
He nodded again, "Trust that I won't hurt her? That I won't ruin our friendship over this?"
"Do you want to be with my sister?" I asked pointblank.
"I do," He said honestly, admitting it out loud.
I stared at him, kind of shocked, and trying not to let my mouth drop too. That was...a bomb. "Wow." Was all I could be able to say at first, my brain still processing his words.
He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, looking as embarrassed as I was surprised. "Yeah."
I knitted my brows together, trying to give all this a sense. Wasn't that what I wanted? Eh. It was the lesser evil. I still feared for my sister and for my friendship with Tristan, but as days passed I realized that I could lose my friend anyway if I didn't make an effort to see things from another perspective. "I'm surprised." I started, trying to find the right words, "I'd never thought I'd hear those words coming out of your mouth..."
"You're not answering my question." He said quietly but still urged me to give him one, showing me how ne needed it.
"Of course I trust you." I shrugged, because at this point? I did. "Since you just told me you want to be with my sister...it's all different. I was worried you could be with her like you were with other girls, with no commitment or strings, and that I knew it'd hurt her and drove a wedge between us. But if you're serious about this, then I only hope it will work. That doesn't mean that maybe one day she'll get hurt anyway, it can happen in any relationship, but what I need is you to tell mw you'll try not to." I explained, even though I wasn't sure I was saying it all right.
"You should know that already," Tristan said back, maybe a little too defensively. "I'd never intentionally hurt your sister."
I let out a breath and mirrored his own awkward stance, scratching the back of my neck. "Wow," I repeated myself.
"You said that already," He made a joke, only being able to force a grin at me.
"What changed your mind?"
"What changed yours?" He asked back since a year ago? We were a lot more alike, neither of us wanting a real relationship. He shrugged his shoulders before I could answer, "Your sister changed my mind."
"She's persistent like that," I cracked a smile.
He nodded his head and smiled back, "She's one hell of a woman."
"It takes a hell of a woman to change a hell of a man's mind." I smiked back at my friend, guessing that was our way to get over the whole Chloe thing. Of corse there would still be awkward moments and serious talks, but at least now we were back on the same road.
He grinned, getting what I meant perfectly, "Cami did it for you." He commented.
I shrugged, because it was obvious. "She always puts things in a perspective I'm not able to see and makes me see things differently." I commented simply, wondering how in god's name I had survived all those years without her. What a dull life I had lived. "But don't expect double dates to happen." I added as an afterthought, making the moment lighter.
He laughed and shook his head, "As if I'd love that."
I relaxed, grinning, "I guessed so."