when the days are cold and the cards all fold and the saints we see are all made of gold

when the days are cold and the cards all fold and the saints we see are all made of gold by sassy featuring diesel jeans

I walked into the bar, spotting Tristan immediately, his eyes on me and a not too pleased expression on his face. "You're late," He said flatly, turning back to the counter and motioning the bartender over to take my order. "I'll have another beer and..."
"Same," I replied while the guy gave us a quick nod then left to grab them. "Sorry, I had to drop Gabe off at Cami's."
"And then did you stay for a quickie?" He joked.
"Quickie? I don't know the meaning of the word," I grinned at him while he shook his head.
"Quality over quantity, right?"
"Something like that," I said with a nod. "Sorry I'm late."

He glanced sideways at the bartender as he set our drinks in front of us, the bottle in his hand in a second flat. "So you've said. How was your trip? I feel like I haven't seen you in months," He looked at me and brought the bottle up to his lips to take a long sip.
"Technically, you haven't," I grinned like a smartass.
"Hilarious. Have you seen your girl since you've been back?"
I hesitated for a second with a brow raised, "Cami?"
He shook his head and smirked wide, "I was talking about someone a little younger and blonder. Are you more interested in brunettes these days?"
"I've always been actually." I commented nonchalantly and bit back a smirk, not looking at him but taking a sip of my beer instead. I knew he was curious about Cami and I also knew that I couldn't keep all my thoughts to myself, they'd kill me, there was no one better than Tristan to share them since he knew how to keep his mouth shut.
His eyes studied me carefully, them showing a glint of curiosity, "So what, you took a break and now you're back to your original sin?" He asked, amusement in his voice.
"Yeah sure I needed to try a little of everything to understand what I really liked." I said sarcastically and when he raised one eyebrow at him I sighed, but a smirk widened my lips anyway. "I'm kidding."
His eyebrow kept in place as he looked at me, "About which part?"
I ran my hand through my hair, taking another long gulp of beer before speaking. "Since when youre so eager of gossip?" I asked and this time it was my turn to be amused.
"Since I haven't seen you in months and you could be married with another kid for what I know." He pointed out, exaggerating it of course but I had to admit that he was right and I almost felt bad about it. Spending all that time with Cami and our son was amazing, still, I missed my friend.
I let my smirk widen because I knew that after all he wasn't just curious, he genuinely cared about me. "I was away less than nine months." I said and let out a small laugh even if, now that I thought about it, there was a lot to sigh instead since cami and I were still at a no sex point. "And no ring, I'm still single for you." I paused as I raised my hand to show him, "Unless you're taken."
Tristan shook his head stubbornly, "Not even a little."
"Does that mean no harem?" I asked, faking shock on my face, it becoming more genuine when he didn't say a word. I definitely felt bad for being away so long and missing out so much of my best friend's life. "No shit, what happened?" I asked before he even had the chance to part his lips, his expression giving him away.
"I got the promotion," He replied and shrugged, my smile back on my face as I clamped a hand on his shoulder then gave it a pat.
"That's good right? Why do you look like you're about to complain?"
He laughed. "I'm not complaining," He said honestly, trying to find the right word. "Just tired. Not all of us get to take months off of work to jet off to paradise."
A sly grin spread across my face, "Now that definitely sounds like a complaint."
"Jealous more like it," He grinned back and studied my expression. "So what about you? You look well rested. No wild sex on the beach?"
I raised one eyebrow at him, not sure if I wanted to talk about that. On a hand I felt like a moron, on the other I was dying to talk about Cami with someone. "Are we back talking about me? Already?"
"Already?" He echoed me, smirking, "You barely said anything. Which is always a bad sign because it means that something actually happened."
I let out a small laugh as I shook my head, I shouldn't have been surprised that he knew me so well, but I always did anyway. "No sex on the beach." I admitted eventually, picturing that in my mind and imagining how amazing that would have been.
His smile widened at my words, "Only in bed like an old married couple?" He teased.
"What's with you and marriage tonight?" I asked, this time my turn to tease him as I sipped my beer.
"Don't deflect." He replied, not even blinking.
I took a deep breath and ran a hand through my hair as I broke eye contact, actually a little embarrassed for what I was about to say. It wasn't that Tristan was judgemental, at least not with me, but he always said his opinion loud and clear, which was actually one of the things I liked about him, but sometimes, like now, it made things harder for me. "No sex at all." I paused, rolling my bottle between my hands, "I mean yes we did something...but we didn't go all the way."
I felt his eyes on me as he spoke, "Why is that? Are you insane, it was a great chance...you had her all for you in the middle of nowhere."
"I know but there was Gabe with us too, it was hard with him always around." I explained quietly, doubting myself like I always did, wondering if maybe I should have played my cards better.
"And now that you're back?" Tristan asked, lifting a brow again when I stared at him blankly, the look on my face answering for me while I waited for him to start torturing me. "Gabe has school during the day and you've been back for a month now. What's your excuse?"
"Work," I shrugged, giving him the most basic response which was the honest one too. "Our schedules make it hard."
"It's been a while for you, hasn't it?" He grinned, "It'd probably take you a good ten minutes before you finished. Don't you get a lunch break?"
I let out a laugh and shook my head, "Fuck you."
"I know that I'm trying to help you get laid, but I don't know, you're not really my type," He grinned back.
"Lies," I let my grin match his, running a hand through my hair again. "So are you going to tell me what happened to the harem or not?"
He let out a deep sigh, "Erin went home for the holidays and Evie's always on location somewhere for work."
"Poor Tristan," I faked a frown and he rolled his eyes at my expression.
"Poor Ben instead," He retorted. "Is it painful to walk yet? Those blue balls have to be killing you."
"I still get some." I shrugged nonchalantly, thanking god that Cami and I weren't completely out of the sex zone or I woldn't know how I'd survive. It was already hard as it as, literally.
He raised one eyebrow skeptically, "Some what?" He asked.
I felt my lips curving upwards in a wide grin as I looked at my friend, "Do you want to hear me talk dirty?" I asked back with an amused look on my face.
He let out a small sigh and shook his head, looking at me as if I was hopeless. And maybe I was. What if we were making too much of a big deal out of it? It was just sex after all...no, actually it was so much more than sex, but it wasn't like we had never slept together before. "How old are you? 15?" He joked.
"I wish." I said and made a face, since life was so easy when I was a teenager, and even back then I had Cami. Even if I could have turned back in time I wouldn't have changed much, I was happy to have Gabe, only I would've made sure to stay with his mom always.
"Come on you're not even close to be drunk enough to start acting like a sissy." He teased me and nudged my shoulder, always knowing how to stop me from making me frown.
At that I grinned back at him, "Buy me a drink then."
"Aren't you the famous model who earns a lot just because of his pretty face?"
I shrugged nonchalantly, "Didn't you just get a promotion?" I asked back, knowing I had a point. Not that mattered though, I just liked messing with him. When he rolled his eyes but ordered two other beers I grinned, "Speaking of balls-"
"When were we talking about balls?" He cut me off and made a face.
"When you asked me about mine." I answered with a small laugh, hoping no one was listening to us. "Anyway, I refuse to believe you're not getting laid these days."
"Why are you assuming I don't?"
I reached for my new beer and downed a gulp before answering, "I don't know, you said no more harem and didn't mention anyone else."
"I like how you think I'm above bringing a girl home from the bar," Tristan grinned and winked at me.
"Above it?" I shook my head, "No, but you're not exactly smooth with the ladies."
He let a laugh escape his lips, "I'm plenty charming."
I shook my head slowly, "Charming is pushing it... with me? Yes. But I've seen the way you are around models and half of them are afraid of you."
"Good, they should be," He said seriously, not one for mixing business with pleasure.
I snorted while staring at him, "So tell me about her?"
"Who?"
"The girl you took home from the bar. What's she do for a living?" I asked sarcastically.
"Do you think I made her up?" He lifted both brows.
I shook my head again, "No, just curious. Any pictures?"
He laughed, "This is exactly why I don't like talking about myself. And no, no pictures. If you're that curious though, she works at that dive bar by the agency."
"A bartender?" My laugh echoed the room.
"Cocktail waitress," He corrected me. "And it's not like I'm planning on seeing her again. It was a one time thing. Now can we go back to talking about you again?"
"No we can't." I said nonchalanly as I shrugged, taking another sip of my beer and ignoring the glare he shot me. I was immune to those.
"There's nothing else to know about me anyway." He retorted flatly, a hint of annoyance on his handsome face.
I leaned my elbow against the bar counter and I raised one eyebrow slowly, "You know I never believe that."
His expression matched mine as his brow arched too, "And why is that?"
"You're a very private person, it's hard to get anything from you." I commented simply, only saying what was true. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but it meant that it always took me a while to make him talk.
"It must be the universe trying to balance for how you let out anything from that mouth instead." He grinned at me, deflecting expertedly.
I rolled my eyes, since I wasn't like that at all but didn't bother to argue since I knew that it was what he wanted. "You should consider yourself lucky that I tell you everything instead."
"But you told me nothing." He retorted.
"There's nothing else to know about me." I said back, using his words against him as I smirked wide.
"Wrong again. You amuse me," Tristan winked at me and this time, a laugh escaped my lips.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were hitting on me," I replied and set my empty bottle down on the counter. Not more than a few seconds later, a new bottle appeared in its place. The bartender definitely knew how to make a living.
He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know about that. I'd never compare to Camille. I've heard that her nips are pierced." I gave him a blank stare before his lips quirked into a smirk, "No? Am I wrong?"
"We're done with discussing her," I said protectively, slightly annoyed because I had had to find out about that by seeing her naked while the rest of the fashion world knew already apparently.
He nodded his head slowly, "I'm definitely right. You wouldn't get so touchy over it otherwise."
I pursed my lips together as I looked at him, wondering if I really was so touchy. I guessed I was. "Just one." I muttered under my breath and shook my head before gluing my mouth to the bottle and drinking a few sips of beers as I thought about Cami's breasts. Ugh.
"What?" He leaned into me with a smirk on his face, and I could only hope he hadn't heard me.
"How do you even know?" I asked instead, curiosity showing in my tone mixed with annoyance. I didn't like that such a private thing was out.
He shrugged nonchalantly, playing with his bottle lazily, "I don't remember. Does it matter?"
I considered his words before answering, "I guess it doesn't." I replied eventually, deflating like a baloon as I leaned my elbows against the counter.
"You can't get so grumpy everytime we talk about Camille." He said in a teasing voice and when I turned my head in his direction he had a big grin plastered on his handsome face.
"It's not like that." I retorted, "But you wouldn't like it either if someone talked about the boobs of the girl you love."
"...you love?" He blinked at me, "Wow."
"Don't act so suprised, you already knew it." I rolled my eyes as if it wasn't a big deal and it wasn't really. I had always been in love with Cami, only I had been too blind to see it myself.
"I knew it," Tristan shrugged, agreeing with me since it had always been obvious. "But I was almost positive that you didn't know it. Or at least that you weren't going to admit those words out loud anytime soon."
"Well there you have it," I replied back and he shook his head as a quiet chuckle escaped him, slapping me on the back.
"Good. That's good man, I'm happy for you," He said honestly, the bartender eyeing our touching bromance of a moment. He moved his hand back to his bottle of beer, which was empty, lifting it up to get the guys attention. "So are you two waiting for the wedding night to finally have sex? Because I've got to tell you, your balls will be aching by then."
"Hilarious," I deadpanned.
He grinned, "I thought so too."
"And I didn't think you were obsessed with my balls instead." I raised one eyebrow at him, shooting him an amused look.
HIs grin faded as he snorted, "You wish."
"You brought them up three time already." I pointed out as I smirked.
"That sounds really weird and wrong." He said and both of us let out a silly laugh, as if we were two teenagers in love.
I sighed, finishing my beer and asking for another one to the bartender who looked a little too interested in Tristan. I wasn't jealous though. "Did you hear fro mmy sister?" I asked after a few seconds of silence.
"Why would I?" He asked back, annoyance on his face as he groaned.
I shrugged my shoulders, not meaning to annoy him, "I was wondering if she's still obsessed with you since I haven't talked to her in forever." I paused and by the look on my friend's face? It was better for me not to push the subject further. "Okay, I got the message...but if you run into her for some odd reason please don't tell her anything about me and Cami."
This time, Tristan raised a brow at my words, "Is it some sort of secret? Because I hate to disappoint you, but everyone who knows the two of you can tell that you're still in love with each other."
I rolled my eyes in response. Of course everyone had always tortured me with Cami, and they were right eventually, only I didn't want to say anything to anyone yet since I wasn't sure about us.
"I'm serious," He added.
"Just don't bring it up to her," I said finally and a grin spread across his face.
"Such a shame since my favorite past time is gossiping about your love life with your sister," He said sarcastically.
"Does everything have to be a joke with you?" I asked flatly although I felt a little relieved, knowing that even though he joked, he'd never say anything to anyone.
He shrugged his shoulders, "It makes life more interesting, don't you think?"
"As long as your life is not a joke itself." I shrugged too, agreeing in part but knowing that from time to time everyone had to be serious too.
"Are you saying that mine is?" He asked and glared at me.
At that I smirked, shaking my head, "Not at all. You're living every man's dream."
His lips curved into a smirk too, letting me know that we were back joking, as if we had ever stopped, "I don't know about that, you wouldn't switch with me." He pointed out.
"I'm the exception you know, I have a kid...it's too late to switch already." I kept smirking, just like I kept drinking. I had missed hanging out with my friend.
"That's just an excuse."
I smirked wider, "Truth is, I'd rather be with you than you."
Tristan laughed and shook his head, "Keep saying things like that to me and one of these days I might just take you up on the offer. You do know how to sweet talk a man."
"I'm much better with women," I grinned back at him.
"I sure as hell hope so," She stopped laughing, still grinning while he brought his drink up to his mouth to take a long and slow sip. "Your sister-" He started and I cut him off with a groan. Just like Cami, Chloe was an off limit subject both because she was my sister and she was trouble. Also there was something between her and Tristan that I couldn't really grasp, and it annoyed me.
"I thought we agreed not to talk about her," I said flatly, starting to worry since he was never willing to talk about my sister. I was beyond surprised.
"Before you go and freak out, it was literally nothing," He started again, sounding like he was saying too much already. "But your sister kissed me."
I stared at him and blinked, those words the ones I never wanted to hear come out of my best friend's lips. "You're kidding me." I said flatly and annoyed already.
He pursed his lips together and shook his head, "No." He answered shortly, probably wanting to change the subject already but it wasn't going to happen.
"And what did you do? Did you just stand there passively? I doubt it." I snorted, my night close to be ruined. One one hand I was XXX of my friend while on the other I was worried for my sister. I was in a no win situation. I went on, cutting him off before he could even think about speaking, "No wonder why I hadn't heard from her in so long." I commented.
"Maybe that's because you were too busy playing the happy family with Cami instead." He said in an attempt to ease the mood, but it didn't really work. That was exactly why I didn't want two of the people I cared the most to have any kind of relationship, I was afraid it'd ruin the one I had with each of them. Call me selfish, but I wasn't he one to blame, and Tristan wasn't either...it was that awful Chloe.
"That's not playing, we are a family." I retorted flatly before shaking my head, "But that's beside the point."
"It was two months ago Ben, I don't even know if it makes sense to talk about it right now." He said, this time more seriously.
I raised one eyebrow at him, slightly confused, "Nothing else happened? You never saw her since?" I asked and I was genuinely surprised because once Chloe got her hands on Tristan I would have expected her not to let him go so easily before getting tired. I swear she was a living nonsense. And Tristan? I didn't even know what was up with him, the harem no longer existed and now my sister? It sounded like I had missed out a lot during my time away with Cami and Gabe.
"Just around work," He answered honestly.
I looked at him skeptically, not knowing what to think. I was relieved on one hand while I was still worried on the other. "Really?"
"Do you think that we hang out all the time?" He asked, trying to ease the moment again. "I see your sister at work and that's it. We run into each other occasionally, but it's not like we plan that."
"Okay," I said flatly.
"Okay?" He repeated, looking as if he was expenxting me to say more.
I shrugged as I shot him a puzzled look, "What do you want me to say exactly?" I asked, hating that my first night out in forever was going to waste.
"What about what you're thinking?" He asked back.
"I don't know what to think honestly." I answered simply, taking a sip from my beer and wishing it was vodka instead, "I'm confused."
"Why?" He asked, looking as confused as me if not more.
"You kissed my sister-"
"She kissed me." He cut me off.
"Same difference." I retorted flatly because in the end the result didn't change no matter who had started it. "Anyway, you drop me a bomb like that then tell me nothing else, because nothing else happened. I don't know if being glad that more didn't happen or mad that something happened in the first place, or...I really have no idea Tristan."
He shrugged, not really looking that bothered by this whole thing. "Look, I..." He started as his words trailed off.
I stared at him in silence, waiting for him to go on even though I had no idea of how he could get out of this myself. In a way, he had dug his own grave and he kept digging, since no words came out of his mouth. I got the feeling that he wasn't even trying, that he didn't really care that much, but then again, I was annoyed, upset even, and everytime I was my judgement got a little biased.
"Your sister and I are completely different people," He said finally.
I stared at him, almost tempted to laugh because his statement was something so obvious that it didn't even need to be told. "I'm aware of that." I said instead, "She's my sister and you're my best friend, I know you both."
"Yeah." He nodded slowly but once again, didn't add a word.
"So"? I pressed on, wondering if he just had nothing to say to me or just nothing to say in general. "I don't get your point."
He shrugged again, "I was just saying."
"Okay." I let out a sigh and got up, my night ruined and I knew that there was no way to make it better, "I better go now."
"Already?" He asked as he shot me a weird look.
"I'm tired." I explained shortly, it being true even though we both knew there was more than that. We couldn't even discuss it though, I'd get over it by myself and then pretend that never happened. "I have tickets for the basketball game on Saturday. Do you want to come with me?" I asked to let him know that nothing would change in our friendship. No one was perfect and we all made mistakes.
Tristan stared at me blankly, though he couldn't be surprised by my behaviour. That was how we were, and he knew it. "Saturday?" He repeated and nodded his head, "That sounds good."
"Good," I said and shifted awkwardly on my feet, already thinking about my sister. "I'll pick you up around 7."
"It's a date," He winked at me and grinned finally, trying to pretend that the last five or so minutes didn't happen. It wouldn't pass my mind though, it couldn't since it was my sister we were talking about.
"You wish," I replied and smiled back at him.
"You know it."