I wrapped my arms around Seb's neck from behind, surprising him and grinning to myself. "You're back," I said in a groggy voice as I nuzzled his neck, temporarily distracting him from that damn computer.
"I am," He said simply as he reached out to tangle his hand into my hair, forcing me to pull back slightly and enough for him to kiss my lips. After a whole day spent working away from me and on his film, he looked exhausted. I was beyond grateful that it was his last day of filming because I wasn't sure how much more I could take of being alone in Seattle. I was proud of him of course, the movie was turning out great which was a challenge from the start since it was hard to make a good movie out of an awful book. But on the other hand, I was being left out constantly and felt like I was living alone in a city where I knew nobody. My classes had stopped, I'd taken up new hobbies, but unfortunately, nothing was enough.
I lifted my head up to furrow my eyebrows as I stared at the screen in front of me, the words on the screen not making any sense so I gave up and buried my face into the crook of his neck again. "It's late Seb, come to bed..." I trailed off, my voice low and muffled against his skin.
He let out a deep breath, reaching for my tiny body and adjusting it on his lap. I prepared myself for the 'no' since it was always inevitable. "In a while," He answered quietly, his eyes back to his laptop as he used his free hand to caress my back.
"No, now," I argued in a small voice as I closed my eyes, my fingers wrapping around the fabric of his shirt, "I haven't seen you all day, I missed you. Come to bed with me."
"I missed you too," He said back before kissing my forehead and meaning it. He wasn't heartless or doing this in spite of me, he was just a perfectionist and there weren't enough hours in the day to get his work done. "But you're sleeping already, you'd barely notice me."
At that I pulled my head back, my eyes opening again to glare at him, "I can tell when you're next to me and when you're not."
"I know, it's hard not to notice me," He smirked at me in an attempt to joke.
I sighed and stared into his eyes, not really in the mood for his tricks to work, "Did you get my text earlier?"
"Yes," He nodded simply. It was about my last movie which was about to come out and it'd premiere in a month.
"And?" I pushed, waiting for him to give me an answer of if he'd go or not.
"I'm proud of you and I can't wait to see it," He smiled.
A small smile appeared on my lips as I looped my arms around his neck, "Does it mean you'll come with me to the premiere?"
He pursed his lips together, trying to find an excuse if he didn't have one already. He hated premieres and even worse, this was a romantic comedy and would make its debut on valentines day. "Do I have to?" He asked carefully.
I took a deep breath and tried counting backwards from ten. It was a technique Seb had relied on but honestly, I was so tired, too exhausted, the only dialect I was having with myself was whether to argue or cry. "No," I said instead and dropped my hands to my side. "You don't have to go."
He stared at me skeptically and my face must have said it all, "I'm trying to finish my movie so I can take you on your vacation to Bora Bora."
"Then by all means, finish your movie so I can go on my vacation," I replied, hating that he said it was my vacation instead of ours. The last thing i wanted was to fight, but lately I'd been going through such a crazy range of emotions that I couldn't just sit here and not voice my feelings. I pushed myself off of his lap and turned my head to the side to face the wall, closing my eyes while I wondered if I was overreacting. I was stubborn and I knew it, but I'd also given up my entire life to move to Seattle and give my boyfriend my support while he worked on his movie. It was my decision though. If I'd have known that I'd be spending maybe twenty hours a week with him, sleep opposite hours of him, and be alone all the time? Maybe I would have just stayed home.
Okay. I was overreacting.
"Aria," He said in a flat tone, probably thinking the same thing I'd just concluded in my own head. I was overreacting, but I was also being ignored whether he was doing it on accident or not. I wasn't cut out for sitting around and doing nothing all day, but the classes I was teaching had ended and I couldn't sign up for courses this semester since I wasn't in Los Angeles. I didn't know what to do anymore. I wanted to support Seb and be with him, but I just felt alone.
"It's fine. I'll go alone," I replied.
He took a deep breath, "You don't have to, if you want me to come with you I will." His voice was quiet and I could feel his eyes on me, willing me to make eye contact once more but I wasn't budging. He reached for me, his hand brushing my arm, "Ar..."
I took a step back as I finally turned in his direction again, my face showing the feelings I wasn't able to put into words. "I'm just tired okay? I need to go back to sleep," I said quickly, without giving him time to say anything back before I headed to the bedroom. I climbed into the bed, not missing even a second by pulling the sheet all the way up to my chin.
"Babe," Seb started a minute later, sitting next to me as he set his hand on my hip, "If you want me to come with you all you have to do is say it."
"Do you really think I need to say it?" I asked back, my voice sharp and no response leaving his lips. "Forget it, your question was enough as an answer anyway."
"I only asked if I had to come because I have a shit ton of things to do and I know how premieres work, I'm not even sure if I'd be able to be with you half of the time," He said back, trying to defend himself even though in his mind he had probably done nothing wrong. That was the biggest reason why I was so pissed off.
I shook my head, "I shouldn't tell you what to do, you should know it yourself."
"What is that supposed to mean? It was just a question, if you had said yes in the first place we wouldn't be here arguing now."
"I'd given up my life to come here with you and support you and you? You can't even come with me to the premiere of my movie, that's what that's supposed to mean," I said as I lifted myself in a sitting position, my blood boiling as I made eye contact with Seb finally.
"Is that why you moved here? So that you could use it against me?" He asked back, slowly, his voice getting colder as he fell back into his old habit of saying fucked up things without even realizing it.
My eyes widened instantly as his words slowly processed in my mind. Is that what he though?? That I came here to hold it against him? God, it was like we'd taken five steps forward only to take ten giant leaps back. "Really Sebastian? You think I came here to hold it against you??" I let my voice match his, as cold as the weather outside... which was really fucking cold right now. "I put my career on hold, took off two semesters, I know no one here, and why? Yes Sebastian, I did all of this to one day use it against you. Congratulations, you've figured me out," I added sarcastically, my tone now bordering on bitter. But really, did he think so lowly of me??
His gaze narrowed on me, "Stop making a joke out of this."
"No really, I'm glad you think I'm capable of doing something so awful," I replied and resisted the urge to roll my eyes only because I was afraid I might cry if I did. My week had been awful, my night was getting worse by the second, and all I wanted to do was cry myself to sleep and not wake up until the month was over. Until the movie was over.
"I didn't -"
"I'm going to sleep," I cut him off, not wanting to hear one more awful thing leave his mouth.
"No, you're not going to sleep until we're done discussing this," He said seriously, surprising me since usually he was the one who wanted to avoid our problems by taking a walk or going to work on some project.
"I'm done talking to you," I retorted stubbornly and rolled over onto my side, closing my eyes and making a point of ignoring him.
His body shifted on the bed until he stood up, taking a deep breath while I braced myself to hear the wrath of Seb. "I swear I don't know what to do with you," He muttered under his breath, loud enough for me to hear.
I got into a sitting position immediately, opening my eyes to glare at him, "What does that even mean?"
"Go back to sleep," He said back in a tone of forced calm, not even looking at me and taking all the things he'd need from the room to spend his night without a doubt working from another room.
"No, answer me!" My voice raised, shaky but he didn't seem to notice or care.
He turned in my direction to finally look at me, "It means what it means Aria." He paused to keep his voice in check, "Do you think I didn't notice how you've been since we came back from LA?" I parted my lips, then closed them again, feeling a little surprised. "You're always so...I don't even know what's the right word. Upset? Sad? And I know that it has a lot to do with doing nothing all day, I know you can't do that. But then why don't you do something? Why didn't you stay a little longer in LA like I had told you?"
I blinked and stared at him, trying to find the words to speak. Why didn't I do something? What was I supposed to do? "What?" I said finally, my voice not as angry as before but maybe it was because I felt like he was putting me on the spot. It wasn't like I was sitting at home depressed all day, every day.
"Why don't you do something? He repeated without missing a beat.
"Do what??" I asked, finding my voice again. Maybe the fact that I was in an unfamiliar place which gave me limits had escaped him, either way, it was unnerving me. "The classes at the theater have ended, I can't enroll in school since I'm not in LA. Should I hang out with all the friends I've made?" I added in a flat tone since the truth was, I hadn't made even one friend. Who was I supposed to spend my time with?
"If you're so unhappy here, then why didn't you stay in LA?" His voice grew louder to match mine. We weren't yelling at each other anymore, but we weren't calm either. We were both exhausted and this wasn't the best time to pick a fight.
"Because you're here," I said simply yet flatly, wondering why he even felt the need to ask.
"Apparently I'm not enough," He said back just as flatly, sounding defeated.
"I never said that," I retorted and shot him a glare, hating that he'd think that's what I meant.
He shook his head, leaning against the door frame and looking at me, "You don't need to. You're here, clearly unhappy-"
"But it's not because of you."
"Don't cut me off Aria," He said in a low tone, "I'm not enough because I can't be enough with you and there's nothing I can do about it. You should be independent enough to find a way to keep yourself busy when I'm working, I know this is not your city but we're adults and we should make it work anyway. You could do anything, literally anything, but you don't because you don't want to do it alone." He paused to breath, looking like he wanted to escape instead of have this conversation. If that was the case, I couldn't blame him. "If you want to go back to LA and join a class, if it would make you happier, then go. I'll fly to you during weekends...I can't do more than this Ar."
I stared at him, speechless and hurt. My lips parted and I reclosed them to take a deep breath before opening them once more. "You want me to move back to LA," I said in a monotone. It wasn't a question, but more of a statement.
"I want you to stop being so unhappy," He retorted and while I could in a way see where he was coming from, it didn't make me feel much better. "If it were up to me -"
"I don't want to hear it Seb," I cut him off, knowing it'd only piss him off but he hurt me and I didn't really care if me cutting him off put him in a worse mood. He couldn't take back what he had said and that was that. "I should've just gone back to sleep when you told me to."
"You're right, it's not like you're listening anyway," He replied in a pissed off tone. We still couldn't keep a conversation and I hated that. It made me wonder if we'd ever grow up.
I reached for the sheet and pulled it over my body, glaring at him in the process, "That's not true."
"I never said I wanted you to move back to LA. I don't want you to move back to LA, don't you ever stop thinking about how it is for you and think about how it is for me instead?"
"Don't put it all on my now," I spat back, not sure what I had done to piss him off so damn much. That right there was what made me mad.
He just shook his head, "Goodnight Aria."
I parted my lips once more to speak, but by then he had already left. Some things might never change.
[theyre too stubborn for their own good D: I loved this :,(]
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