I took a deep breath and rang the bell of Travis' house, still debating if it was a good idea to show unannounced, but then again he was my cousin and we were close...I just hoped he wasn't too busy.
"Hi!" Lila opened the door instead, she grinned reaching out and pulling me into a hug that surprised me but then I sank into it, hugging her back like an old friend.
"Hey. I'm sorry to just drop by..." I started, feeling as if I needed to apologize.
She shook her head. "Are you kidding? Surprise visits are one of my favorite things." I smiled and followed her into the living room, loving how she was, so cheerful and cute. "Can I get you something to drink?"
"Coffee?"

She nodded. "A woman after my own heart." She laughed. "Though I'm sure I won't make it as good as you. I don't have a fancy machine."
"I can teach you a few tricks if you want." I offered.
She grinned wider. "Of course. So what are you doing here? Did Trav invite you?"
I shook my head and walked around the living room, smiling at the pictures on the mantle of her and Trav. "I just..." I sighed and looked over at hwe. "I needed to get away."
She let the coffee brew while she studied me, sitting down on one of the bar stools she had on the other side of the counter. "That sounds like boy problems. Everything okay with you and John?" She asked.
I bit my lip and looked down at me fingers where I was playing idly with a ring on my right hand. "No." I admitted. "I left him."
"Oh Tara...." She sighed softly. "I'm so sorry."
"I guess it's okay...not everyone's supposed to be together forever." I said quietly and forced a small smile.
"You look upset. It's not okay." She shook her head with a serious expression on her pretty face that didn't really suit her. "What happened?"
"It was so amazing with him at the beginning..." I trailed off, accepting the coffee she was offering. "He was the perfect boyfriend. Then when we started to fall into a routine he started to give me less and less attentions. We moved in together and nothing changed."
She gave me a sympathetic look, reaching for my arm and squeezing it. "I'm sure it wasn't your fault."
I took a long sip of my coffee since I had wondered if it had been my fault instead. If anything I had always tried to make things work between us. Until Caleb. "He didn't even look so upset when we broke up." I commented quietly, the thought still hurting me.
"What an a.ss." She rolled her eyes. "You can do much better I'm sure."
"I'm an a.ss too." I admitted and made a face.
She chucked, making the moment lighter. "Because you left a man who wasn't giving you want you deserved? Sure." She grinned at me.
"I slept with his cousin. Caleb." I blurred out, saying that for the first time to someone. I didn't really know Lila but I feel like I could trust her. If Travis did I was sure I could too.
"You mean the tall gorgeous god like guy who couldn't keep his eyes off of you?" Lila asked.
I widened my own eyes. "Um. I think so." I replied. She nodded and I hid my head in my hands. "Oh my god I'm awful I know it."
She scoffed. "Please Tara, I'm the last person to judge you. But I do feel like I need more information...." She trailed off. "You slept with him as in you cheated on John? Or like rebound break-up sex?"
I shook my head. It was neither. "I did't cheat. It was the night I left John..." I trailed off and winced. I hoped Caleb didn't see it like that. "Oh god it sounds worse when I say it out loud."
"Was it good?" She asked, smirking.
"Good is such an understatement." I admitted, biting my lip and thinking about Caleb. He had been the best, ever.
"Really?" She grinned wider and grabbed her cup again. "Tell me more." She wiggled her brows.
I laughed. "It was.....I don't even have words." I confessed.
"So you slept together just once?" She asked and I shot her a guilty look as she nodded. "Ahh. So you're not running away from John, you're running away from Caleb."
I shrugged. I was running away from anything to be honest, but yes, Caleb was a big part of it. Huge more like it. "I don't know what to do!"
She thought about it for a moment, and I let her. "It's a difficult situation thats for sure..." She trailed off. "What do you want?"
"It doesn't matter what I want." I sighed, shaking my head, "I can't get what I want anyway."
"Uhm. Dramatic." She said back with a silly grin on her face and I didn't know if she was doing that on purpose to make the situation lighter, but I liked it anyway. I liked her.
I cracked a small smirk myself. "I want to get married, have kids...I want a family." I started explaining, feeling like I had said those words over and over again, a thousand times.
She sipped her coffee slowly, "That's a start. But I hope you're aware of the fact that you need a man for that."
"I thought John was the one and I was wrong." I paused, thinking that I had been naive and hating myself for that. "I want to find someone who wants what I want too, from the beginning. I want something serious, not just another silly relationship."
"Is Caleb up for that?" She smirked wider, "Because I'm telling you, you'd make gorgeous babies with him."
"I know." I allowed myself to think about that for a moment, then pushed the thought away because it was more like a dream that would never become true. "He doesn't want a relationship...at all."
"Not even with you?" She asked with an eyebrow raised, "Because he looked at you like he wanted to grab you and take you away...he seemed into you."
I shook my head, since it was a little more complicated than that. "He doesn't want to get married again and I do instead. Someday, I will want to get married. I can't start a relationship with someone who doesn't share my same hopes for the future."
"Well, that's a lot of pressure. And you can't really know that at the beginning of a relationship." She paused, sounding a lot wiser than she looked like. She looked like a young girl but talked like an old one, in a good way of course. "Look at me and Trav. I never thought we'd get serious."
"I know that, I'm not saying he should promise me to marry me or anything, because that would be insane. Maybe we'd get together and find out we're an awful couple, but what if we are perfect for each other and he still doesn't want to build more with me? No one knows what the future holds, but we know what we want. And Caleb and I don't want the same things." I explained quietly, knowing I was right. I couldn't risk getting into another relationship with no future. "And I'm leaving out the part where he's John's cousin." I added, making a face. Everything about this situation screamed impossible.
"I mean yes admittedly that part makes things more complicated, but Tara....the way he looks at you? I couldn't walk away from that."
"Even if you were sure there was no future?" I asked, guessing that not everyone saw things like I did.
Lila nodded. "That is exactly what I did with Travis." She said seriously. "I knew...well I thought I knew that he wasn't the real thing, but there was no way I walking away from him."
"That's different. You didn't want to fall in love." I pointed out. And Travis didn't want to fall in love either. They both wanted the same thing, at least at the beginning.
"True. I honestly didn't even know if I could."
"That's how Caleb is." I said back, wondering what it took to make a man change his mind...I had to stop thinking men could change. That I could change them.
"I thought Caleb was married!" She widened her eyes.
"He doesn't think he ever really loved her." I explained even though there was much to the story, which was kind of sad and depressing if I thought about it. But the fact that I didn't like Selene made it look better because at least Caleb wasn't with her anymore.
"That's how I was with my ex. I mean I loved him as a friend and we worked as lovers so it was easy to stay together and to fall back together over and over. But it's not the same as it is with Travis." She nodded as she talked.
"I have an ex like that. Except I think I loved him too much." I said back, my mind back on Andy.
"Yeah?" She asked slowly.
"Andy. He was just never as serious as I was about us." I commented simply.
"But?" She asked, looking curious.
"But there's something about him...every time I see him I feel...a tug." I tried to explain because that didn't even make sense to me.
"Damn how hot is this guy? Because John was gorgeous but Caleb..." She let out a low whistle and I laughed.
"And you've only seen him clothed." I bit down on my lip.
She smirked. "Do you have pictures?!"
I widened my eyes. "Lila!!!!"
"Just shirtless!!!! I'm allowed to look." She grinned.
I laughed, "I'm sure Trav wouldn't mind."
She shrugged nonchalantly, leaning back, "He's not jealous." She explained simply.
"Oh I know. I was serious." I grinned back at her as I reached for my phone, "I don't have any picture of Caleb shirtless..." I trailed off.
"But?" She asked, licking her lips and looking at my phone. "I'm waiting! Show me the other hottie!"
I sighed but kept smirking anyway, loving how she was keeping a silly mood even if the matter wasn't strictly silly. Actually, it was depressed and complicated, but Lila made it look as if we could go to the moon with a jump or do anything really. "This is Andy." I told her and handed her my phone.
She glanced up at me, "Why do you even have a picture of your ex on your-" She cut herself off when her eyes dropped on the screen. "Damn! He IS hot! Look at that body! Oh my god what's your secret? How do you know all these gorgeous men?!"
"You know just as many Lila." I grinned at her, shaking my head. Then sighed. Again. Because it was all I did these days. "Andy is perfect."
"I like blondes better." She said a little too seriously and I raised one eyebrow at her, "Caleb seems just as perfect to me. No wait! More perfect."
"Did he pay you or something?" I teased her, propping my elbow on the table and setting my chin in my hand.
"No...he should have though." She chuckled, amused by herself which was super cute. "If Andy was so perfect then why aren't you with him?"
"His looks are perfect, his personality is far from that." I explained and made a face, "Back to when I was younger I thought he was perfect in any possible way and I would've killed to be with him for real, always, without all those breakups..." I trailed off and shook my head, "But not now. I'm different from how I was and I know that a relationship with Andy would be insane. I'd never want that."
"That sounds very wise. Must be the age." She winked at me and I swear she seemed one of those fake therapists you saw in movies. She was amazing. "What I don't understand is why you keep talking about him."
I slid my finger on my phone, opened whatsapp and showed Lila the texts I had gotten from Andy. "Because he never gives up." I told her. At the beginning I had barely answered to him, because there was Caleb and because I couldn't deal with him, I didn't want to. But now? Miserable and alone? I had to admit I was tempted.
"So you're attracted to pushy men?" Lila questioned.
"No!! I mean I don't think so. It's just...I learned my lesson from him, I won't fall in love again....but I like his company." I tried to explain even though I was sure that at this point I was starting to sound super lame. She looked around the room dramatically. "What are you doing?"
"I'm looking for the cameras." She said seriously. "I feel like I've been transported to an episode of sex in the city."
I just blinked at her. Then I laughed. God that show was my forever fave. "Does that make me Carrie?!"
She smirked. "It does, though I'm not sure I like that...I'm Definitely not Charlotte or Miranda so you've just made me Samantha!"
"You are ridiculous." I laughed. "But she's the least judgemental so maybe I'm glad."
"Okay. Seriously no judgments. And I'm actually serious. But have you thought maybe you should be single for a while?"
"That doesn't sound like no judgments." I pouted. I knew how to be single, it was just that I didn't want to.
She laughed gently. "It is because I will like you no matter what you do. But I think sometimes you have to learn who you are alone before you can be ready to be a real couple."
"I'm way older than you maybe I already know who I am."
"Don't you play that card!" She narrowed her eyes. "I get it enough from the Coles!" I laughed and she shook her head. "But if you're so old and wise...then your heart should tell you what you really want."
"How old are you again?"
"25 going on 40." She replied. "Do any of your coffee tricks include baileys? Because I think we should get a little day drunk." She grinned wickedly, "And then we'll have a girls night in the city!"
I laughed at her enthusiasm, she was like a breath of fresh air. "I say yes to a girls night out and no to get day drunk."
"Why not?" She pouted then rolled her eyes dramatically and broke into a smirk. "You really are Travis' cousin."
"Why?" I asked back and raised one eyebrow at her.
"I don't want you to drink during the day Lila." She said as she mocked Travis, making me laugh. "Seriously. You Coles are no fun."
I shook my head as I kept smirking, amused beyond words. "If I start drinking now? I'll get drunk in a heartbeat and our girls night out can't happen."
"Can't you hold your liquor?"
"No...definitely not. I'm not used to drink anymore. And when I get drunk? I always get in trouble." I made a face.
"Tell me more about that." She smirked from ear to eat.
"Last time I got drunk I ended up in bed with Caleb." I admitted even though I wasn't that drunk, more like tipsy.
She widened her eyes. "But that's only a good reason to drink instead!"
I laughed again. "Yes. Too bad Caleb is not here." I ended the sentence feeling a sadness in my heart that had been there for some time...I missed him.
"That is too bad." Lila grinned and I rolled my eyes. "What?! I liked him!"
"A little too much for a girl with a boyfriend."
She shrugged. "Travis knows I think he's the hottest man on earth."
"That's cute. Even if it's my cousin." I made a silly face and she grinned...then she pouted. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing I was just thinking that my big sister could use a night out but she can't drink and would pout about it all night."
"Is she pregnant?" I asked as I did the math. Wow.
She blinked at me. "Yeah, she and Jax are having a baby girl."
I widened my eyes. I was shocked, because I knew nothing about that. "Wait Jax like Jackson Cole?"
She nodded. "You didn't know that!! I told Colbie to invite you to the baby shower!"
"So you're telling me that your boyfriends older brother knocked up your older sister?!" I went on, still wrapping my head around it.
"Yeah we keep it kind of close around here. Please don't start dating one of my brothers." She begged.
"No, don't worry. I have enough drama in my life as it is." I replied in a daze because I was still thinking about Jackson. "I can't believe Jax is having a baby...and I can't believe no one told me!"
"They're not in the ideal situation so maybe that's why." She made a face then smiled, "They're going to have a girl. Ruby."
"That's precious." I smiled with her then chuckled, "I can't imagine Jax with a baby girl into his arms. He's going to freak out."
She smirked, "Guys are all the same." She commented with an amused tone.
I raised one eyebrow, "Travis too? I'm asking because I'd like to know if someone else is going to make baby soon."
She made another face, which was silly but also kind of...terrified? In denial? I didn't even know. "God no. Travis and I...just no." She shook her head, then her tone got softer. "Not for now."
"You're still young." I smiled at her and I thought that if they'd stick together? They'd end up with a beautiful family and a house full of blonde beautiful babies. "Now, show me your brothers." I added.
She widened her eyes, "I thought you weren't interested!"
I shrugged nonchalantly, needing some distraction, "I'm not but I like looking." I grinned and she grinned back at me before grabbing her phone and showing me a picture of 5 super attractive men.
"Damn." I widened my eyes, them moving to one brother to the other. "You definitely have good genes in your family."
"Of course I do." She said back, being a little c.ocky and not only it fit her, it reminded me of how Travis answered too. I guessed he had an influence on her.
"This one is my fave I think." I said pointing at a tall brunette with piercing blue eyes. "He's so hot."
"That's Kolton and he's a bar owner." She explained softly.
I clapped my hands in approval. "Score! You better tell me we're going there tonight." I said, feeling silly and thank god for that because I needed a break from being miserable.
“That’s actually a good idea.” Lila replied. “Trav is working late and he’ll never come with me to Trenton’s anymore so I haven’t been there in a while.”
“Why not?” I asked. “Doesn’t he get along with your family?”
She widened her eyes. “Um…not exactly.” She sighed. “He's never really spent any time with them though. He likes Kolton more than any of them but I think he doesn’t like the idea of running into Reece there.”
“Reece is an older brother I’m guessing? Pretty protective?”
She nodded. “A little bit of an asshole actually. I mean he wasn’t always that way. Before our dad died he was the one who was always getting into the biggest trouble. I think he hates that he didn’t clean up his act in time for dad to see it and now he’s taking it a little too seriously.”
“It sounds like he needs a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend if he’s into that.” I replied, no judgement in my voice.
She burst out laughing and shook her head. “Um I totally agree.” She replied. “Girlfriend, though now that you mention it I feel a little gipped that none of my brothers are gay. If anything I’m the gayest in our family.” I widened my eyes because she killed me sometimes, and she waved a hand in the air casually. “College.” She shrugged. "But you’ll love Trenton’s the food is amazing. And then we can totally invite Colbie.”
“I’d like to meet her.”
“She’s going to tell you not to stand too close to her because it will make her feel fat.” She shook her head.
“She’s pregnant, not fat.” I replied. I wasn't going to say it but I was a little jealous.
“Yeah. We all keep telling her that.”
"And...Jax too?" I asked, still kind of shocked.
She made a face, "Only god knows what those two tell each other."
"That bad uh?" I asked, feeling bad for them and watching Lila nod. "I hope they'll fix things. It must be wonderful to have a baby."
"I'm sure you will one day." She said softly, then we heard a noise and a moment later Travis was walking into the room with a grumpy expression on his face.
"What did you do to your hair?!" Lila widened her eyes before neither of us could say anything.
He raised one eyebrow at her, "Cut it a little?" He said back as if she was talking nonsense. God these two killed me.
She shook her head, "What happened to my boyfriend, I want him back!"
"You can barely tell!" I chuckled and got up, letting my cousin hug me.
"She's a drama queen." He grinned before kissing my cheek, then took a step back and studied my face. "What are you doing here?"
"I just missed you guys." I grinned back at him, shrugging, genuinely happy to be there. I needed that, so much.
Travis eyes moved to Lila, who sighed. "Boys problems." She answered for me.
"Ah I see." He nodded, taking his jacket off, "John?"
"No, Caleb. See, I was right!" Lila told him, giving him a smug grin.
"John and I broke up and I slept with Caleb." I made the long story short, not wanting to get into that again.
"Thank f.uck, I didn't like that man." He groaned as he walked to the fridge and taking a beer, acting as if he was in his own home...but it wasn't. They didn't live together and that was so odd. I wasn't surprised, because that was Travis...but I was a little instead, because he seemed to have eyes for Lila only and I could tell he loved her a lot. "I like Caleb more."
"Can we drop this?" I sighed.
"We can but you're going to tell me everything later. Or tomorrow. You're going to stay a few days, I assume?" He asked, sipping his beer.
I shrugged, blushing a little because I didn't want to invite myself. "If it's okay for you guys..." I trailed off.
Lila rolled her eyes, "Don't be shy, of course it is! You can sleep here I have plenty of room!" She said, sound pretty excited.
"I'd love that." I smiled at her, happy that I liked her so much. "But I don't want to get between you two, maybe you had plans..."
"I'm going out with the guy tonight but you can come too if you want." Travis shrugged nonchalantly.
"See? He didn't even want to be with me tonight." Lila sighed, but it was silly. "We're going to Trenton's instead." She added.
"I'll pass for tonight." He said back.
She pouted, "You didn't even say hi to me." He laughed and kissed her lips chastely while I did my best not to be too jealous of them. Truth was, I was. I wish I had what they had. "Why are you home to early?!" She asked after a moment.
He groaned, pulling back, "Tara please save me from this woman." He teased.
I winked at him. "She's all mine tonight."
“I liked your hair longer.” Lila pouted and Trav shook his head.
“Lucky for you hair grows back.” He said, taking off his suit coat and hanging it on one of the barstools.
“Maybe I’ll dye mine red again.”
“You had red hair?” I asked, surprised.
“Damn woman has had ever color hair.” He shook his head. “But I liked the red.” He shrugged and then pulled her closer, kissing her soundly and making me want to cry for how cute and in love they were. I was happy for them though.
“We have company.” She reminded against his lips.
“I’ve walked in on her doing worse when we were kids.” He teased and pulled back as I turned red.
“Oh my god Trav.” I shook my head, remembering that moment. My cousins had been the brothers I hadn't had, mostly Travis. “I thought you were going to kill Benny!!” I laughed.
“Who was Benny?!” She grinned.
“He was the lifeguard at the summer camp we went to one year.” Travis shook his head.
“And he caught you two making out?” She laughed.
“Poor kid ran away before I had the chance to beat the shit out of him.” Travis laughed.
“He wasn’t a very good kisser anyways.” I shrugged.
“Is Caleb?” Lila wiggled her brows and Travis groaned.
“Alright. This is girl talk. I’m leaving.” He spanked her playfully before winking at me and she bit her lip as she watched him go.
“You two are like relationship goals.” I shook my head and she laughed.
“Are you kiddng?! We’re definitely not.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, I don’t think we’re a typical couple…not that it’s a bad thing…just not something to model other relationships to.”
“But you’re so obviously in love and that’s all that matters isn’t it?” I said dreamily.
“It’s all that matters to us.” She replied. “So? Is he?”
“Is he what?” I blinked, lost.
“A good kisser!!” She laughed.
I let out a sigh, flashbacks of the kisses I had shared with Caleb crowding my mind. Dear god. "Honestly? The best."
"Oh my god you should see your face right now." Lila chuckled.
"What's wrong with my face?" I asked as I blinked at her.
She grinned at me, "You're all dreamy..." She trailed off.
"You'd be too trust me." I sighed again and I wished I could stop either sighing or thinking about him.
"Mhm...is he just a good kisser?" She asked with a mix of curiosity and something else in her voice.
This time it was my turn to smirk. "Nope. He's good in everything he does...everything." I swallowed, this time thinking about all the times he had been inside of me.
"You're blushing." She pointed out, "I guess you were talking about naughty things."
I let out a laugh even though I was a little embarrassed. "Am I so transparent?!"
She nodded, "He must be something in bed by the way you're reacting."
"In bed, out of bed...he's great. And not just because of the sex, I think he's truly an amazing man." I explained honestly. "It's too bad he doesn't want me like I want him."
"Oh please I'm not joining your pity party." She said back as she waved her hand in the air. What?! She killed me.
"Maybe it's better if I stop talking about him. I'm already as obsessed as I am..." I made a face, not wanting to sound pathetic.
"Deal. You need to get distracted." She agreed with a grin.
"Your brother?" I teased her.
She laughed, "NO! Please, we already said no to that. He's just troubles. Either that or you fall for him and this becomes even more ocmplicated than it already is." She said with a silly voice.
I laughed with her then my phone started ringing. I grabbed it and smiled at Andy's sexy face. Yum.
"Must be good." Lila commented, being a great observer apparently.
I nodded, "My distraction."
Lila rose a brow as I answered the phone.
“Andy, hi.” I answered and talked to my ex like I had done a million times, only now it was different because it wasn't him I wanted, not in that way anymore. But he really was a great distraction and right now I needed that.
“Good talk?” She asked but I noticed the look on her face.
“Don’t look at me like that.” I pouted.
“Like what?”
“Like you think I should have told him to take a hike.” I shrugged.
“I just liked Caleb. And the way he was pining over you like a puppy was so adorable.”
“What? He was not.” I rolled my eyes.
She just glared at me. “The man is basically head over heels Tara. Which makes sense. You’re hot, you can cook, I wouldn’t kick you out of bed.”
I laughed, “Oh my god.”
She glared at me. “You could do worse than me. That was a compliment.”
I laughed harder and nodded. “You’re right, I’m sorry, I’m flattered.”
She grinned. “Good. Then will you let me paint you?” I asked, she widened her eyes.
“What?”
“Paint you. You have such great bone structure.” She replied.
I looked at her, stared more like it. That was such a weird request. "I guess." I chuckled.
"What?! Don't make fun of me!" She pouted.
"I never would. Just no one ever asked me to pose for a paint...oh my god I don't know if I can do that. I'm shy!" I said, covering my mouth and still chuckling like a high school girl. Lila's good mood was contagious.
She rolled her eyes, smirking. "You don't really strike me as shy."
I shrugged as I pursed my lips together. "I can be trust me. But when I like people then I'm more easygoing." I said honestly.
She faked a serious expression. "Are you trying to tell me you like me?" She asked before we both burst into a laugh. "Will you let me paint you or not?!"
"Of course." I paused then thought about something Travis had mentioned before. "But you have to do something for me in return."
"I have no idea of what I could do for you but okay." She grinned wide.
"Let me teach you how to make Travis favorite cake." I told her with a smile, actually wanting to do something for her since she was being so nice.
"Just that?!" She have me a skeptical look, "I warn you I'm not exactly Masterchef material. Don't tell Travis I said that."
I smirked at how cute she was. "You can do it. It's super easy and you'll surprise that grumpy man of yours."
"I guess I can try. I'd be great to see Travis face while he eats the delicious cake I made." She said as if she was talking to herself.
"Deal. Oh and you definitely have to tell me what's your favorite cake too...I need to have an idea of what you like for when I'll have to make your wedding cake." I smirked wider, half teasing her and half meaning it.
“Oh dear god.” Lila rolled her eyes.
“You don’t think you’ll get married?” I questioned.
“I think we’re a ways away from that.” She admitted, her face though was telling a whole other story.
“Haven’t you been together for a while?” I asked, raising a brow.
“Sure, but we’re……very independent.”
“You can be independent while you’re Mrs. Cole.” I teased. “Oh then we’d be cousins too!”
“Travis would make me change my name.” She rolled her eyes. Last time I checked it wasn't a bad thing.
“You wouldn’t want to?” I asked, curious about it.
“I would want to for him.” She admitted, then widened her eyes as I looked back at her with an I told you so expression. “I mean far in the future…..we’re still young.”
“You are young. Travis is an old man.” I replied, feeling smug because I had them all figured out.
“Meh. Stop analyzing us or I’ll start in on you and John and Caleb and…..who was the sexy guy on your phone?”
“Andy.” I replied. “Fine, no more man talk.”
“Just no more marriage talk. We’re far from that.”
“Mhmmm.”
“Who was that who called you again? Caleb? Or Andy?” She questioned.
I rolled my eyes. “You made your point silly woman.” I pulled my hair to the top of my head and secured it with the band around my wrist. “But I’m glad Travis found you.”
“I am too.” She replied. “He makes me a better person.” She admitted, which was very sweet. “Okay now about this cake. I’m hoping it’ll get me super laid.”