i wish you the best of all this world can give

Flashback;


"Seriously Colbs? He's a dentist!!!" Kolton shook his head with a laugh.
"Would you rather I date a bar owner?!" I glared at him and he widened his eyes.
"You are not allowed to date anyone like me." He replied.
"Are you fu.cking kidding me? I'm older than you!!!"
"Yeah and too damn pretty for your own good!" I looked at the time on my phone and sighed.
"I have to get to Will's game. I'll call you later. Stop telling everyone that I don't know how to date!!"
"Then choose better guys."
"Do you know how long it's been since I've had sex Kolt?" My brother groaned and I laughed. My brothers were annoying but they were the best.
"Hanging up now." I laughed and grabbed my keys, looking in the full length mirror on the way out and sighing because although my sundress was pretty the rest of me looked meh at best. Oh well. Life of a working mother.
**
Since I left the house, all of my brothers have called to warn me none of them approve of Daniel, the guy I'd seen casually only 3 times. Ridiculous. I was brooding as I walked around the gorgeous lawn of Adam and Liz's house. I should be having a blast, the food was great, the kids had won their game and Will was having the time of his life with Rob. But I was being grumpy. Mostly? Because I knew my brothers were right. Daniel was good looking enough but kind of an as.shole and stupid to boot. I seriously failed at dating.
""Hey Colbie." Travis smiled at me as he and my sister walked up. "Do you know my brother?" I just nodded because it was impossible to not notice any of the Cole's. They were bascially perfect specimans of male.
"Adam? Sure. Will and Rob live as one person and I can't tell how many times I went here to pick my son."
"I meant Jax." Trav smirked and nodded to his other brother, who turned towards me with a smile that hit me like a ton of bricks. I had had a bit of a crush on Travis when he started coaching Will because....well look at him. But there was something about this brother that almost knocked me to my feet.
"She doesn't know me but I know her." Jax cut into the conversation, grinning wide as he looked me up and down obviously. "I saw you so many times at the games."
"Careful sis, he's famous for his lines." Lila teased him and I saw the adoration in her eyes for him. I knew Travis had 2 brothers and that Lila was friends with Jax. What I didn't know is what he could do to me with just one smile. The man was lethal.
"I don't know what you're talking about." He said back, blinking at Lil innocently, "I'm the perfect gentleman, I swear I'd never use one of those lame lines just to win a girls heart."
"Gentleman my a.ss." Trav and my sister laughed before he dragged her away to the makeshift bar. "Let's go grab a beer. I could drink a pool, I'm so damn thirsty."
"You're Will's mom." Jax said, nodding towards my son who was teaching Poppy how to throw a football even though it didn't seem to be working.
"I am." I agreed.
"He's a great kid." He turned to me. "Must have been taught well by his gorgeous mother." I rolled my eyes even as my stomach flipped. The men I went out with? Weren't this blunt. If anything they moved too slow and I got bored by the end of date one.
"I thought you didn't need lines." I teased back.
"That wasn't a line." he took a step closer to me and I bit my lip as I tried not to notice how great he smelled. "A line would be that you look hot as hell in that dress and I can't wait to see what's underneath it." I felt my face get a little hot as I smirked.
"That might just get you slapped." I teased. He rose a brow at me.
"Something about the way you're blushing right now tells me you might have liked it instead." I put my hands to my cheeks which indeed felt hot. Oh dear god, was I this bad at flirting?
"It's just hot." I replied though it sounded like a lame excuse even to me.

“Your dress is. You are." Jax replied, as if he said things like that to girls all the time. Which…he probably did. Then again he probably didn’t need to. Look at him. He was gorgeous, standing much taller than me with those eyes that seemed to see right through me.


"Are you usually this blunt with every girl?" I asked, biting down on my lip.
"It depends on how much I want the said girl." He shrugged and my stomach flipped because when had a guy this hot said anything like that to me? I was a mom to most men. Not that I didn’t know I had the looks its just men tend to look past looks and go straight to baggage when the baggage is a 13 year old.
"I'm not that kind of girl." I replied. He grinned and my stomach flipped again. The man was potent.
“That's perfect because I'm not that kind of man either!" I laughed at his silliness.

"You just met me Jax." I pointed out.

"That's right but I've heard so much about you and I've seen you every Sunday for almost a year now." he retorted.
“Why didn't you ever come to say hi?" I asked, hoping I wasn’t blushing.
"I'm shy." He winked at me and I laughed again. "What do you think about dinner?" he asked, surprising me.
"I love dinner." I paused as I faked a straight face, impressed that I could still kind of flirt after all these years. "What about you?"

"Oh what a smarta.ss.” he grinned, "I love that too so why don't we go out together one of these nights?" he asked, not missing a beat.

"Sure. If you want to grab me a hot dog we can do it right here." I replied, nodding over towards the grill.
"Tricky girl." he grinned.
"I'm not going to date you." I said back, laughing at the thought. "But thanks for boosting my ego by asking." He rose a brow at me.
"Why not?" I stared at him again, and shook my head.
"Because men like you and women like me don't work." I replied.
"Oh? What sort of woman are you? Better yet what sort of man do you think I am?" I took a step closer to him so that my breasts were almost touching his chest.
"You're the sort of man who looks at a woman like he's hoping to see her naked." He rose his brows for a moment at my bluntness and then shrugged.
"Most men do that." he replied.
"Sure. But most men don't have that look on their face that tells me you'd know exactly what to do with me when I was." I couldn't believe myself. I hadn't flirted like this....ever. Sexy talk and flirting were things my sister was good at not me. But this man brought it out in me without even trying. Jax licked his lips and if i didn't know his type better I'd say I was affecting him. I knew better though.
"And what kind of woman are you that you wouldn't want that?" I licked my lips, because if we were being honest? I DID want that. I had been serious with Kolton when I said I needed to get laid but I had a child and a business and I didn't have time for men who weren't going to be the real thing.
"I'm complicated." I said finally.

"So what?" he asked back, shrugging. He was surprising me at every turn a guy like him you’d think he wouldn’t want to work so hard.

"I have a son too." I added, because that kind of summed it up. Jax blinked.
“Really? Let me guess. Tall, handsome, well mannered and with big eyes that are just like yours?" he said before breaking into a grin. Smartass.
"Yes. His name is Will." I laughed.
"Ah...Will. I think I know him already." Jax kept teasing, "So you have a son and I already knew that. Tell me another reason why you shouldn't go on a date with me."
"I think you're hitting on me just because you know you can't have me." I said more seriously this time. "Like I'm a challenge."
"But I'm not hitting on you." he retorted, grin still in place.
"No? Mhm weird I thought you did." I teased. "Wouldn't it be easier for you to go find some girl with no son that can't wait to jump into your bed?"
"Yes it would." he admitted nonchalantly. "But still."
"See? You go for easy and I'm complicated." I said back stubbornly.
"Just one date. I promise I'll be good." He was almost as stubborn as a Trenton and that was saying something.

"See the last time a guy asked me for just one date? I ended up married with a kid." I said all too seriously. Jax widened his eyes and then laughed.
"I promise that won't happen with me." he replied.
"Okay. So what will happen?" I asked, cocking my head to the side and noticing how incredible his eyes were.
"Good food, great wine, you in another dress I can't keep my eyes off of....some conversation." he shrugged.
"Hmmm. Do all your dates get such excellent treatment?" I asked, knowing a man like him could basically walk into any place and pick a girl and be in bed with her in about 30 minutes or less.
"I'm a gentleman." He grinned wickedly and I almost shivered.
"I'm glad there's some left." I laughed.
"Unca Jax!" Poppy tugged on his pants and he looked down at her with adoration as she lifted her tiny arms up and he scooped her up in his. He kissed her cheek and she scrunched her face up before she looked at me.
"You're pretty." She smiled and reached out to touch my hair. She was adorable and I reached out to her to poke the bow in her hair.
"So are you." I said seriously.
"I'm the luckiest guy here to be with the two prettiest girls in the room." Jax grinned.
"I want Travis." she pouted and Jax sighed as he put her down and she ran over to wear Trav and Lil were sitting.
"She likes him better." he shrugged and ran his hand through his hair.
"I'm sure that's not true." I laughed. "What is it you do exactly? Besides being a epic gentleman of course."

"That's it." he kept smirking and I’d be lying if I said that grin didn’t do something to me.
"I didn't even know that was a job. Does it pay well?"

"Oh yes." he said slowly, almost wickedly as if he was already seeing me naked in his head. Or maybe I was just seeing him naked in my head and projecting. It would never happen but hey a girl needs something to fantasize about.

"Do you want to know what my other job is?" he asked next.
"Yes, I'm curious." I said honestly.
"Go out with me and I'll tell you." he retorted simply which made me chuckle.
"You never give up, do you?" I asked, his persistence flattering me. He stared me down and grinned wider, making my stomach almost explode from butterflies.
"Never."

present;


"Jax?" I called through the hallway I could basically see through since Jax’s crew was taking some walls down. from

"What are you doing here Colbie?" he groaned and I shrugged as I walked over to him.
"You didn't come to Adams barbecue." I said, knowing not much kept him away from that.
"You can't be here." He shook his head.
"But-" I started and he cut me off.
"It's not safe here, so you think I'm wearing this just because I like it?" he asked pointing at his helmet.
"Oh." I paused then smiled, "Give me one and I'll have an hamburger back." Jax sighed and shook his head at the ceiling. For a moment I thought he was going to try to kick me out again but instead he offered me a small smile. "Deal."

"Or even better, we go downstairs where it's not as bad and eat together." Jax looked at me like he was getting tired of my attempts to win him back. I guess I couldn't really blame him. I was starting to think that if he had really loved me? He would want me to fight for him. Maybe I was wrong...but he was worth fighting for.
"Okay." he sighed and followed me into the kitchen which was basically the only room that wasn't a disaster luckily. I prepared the food I'd brought over and when I turned around Jax was using his tee to wipe his forhead.
"Oh my god stop." I said without thinking. He blinked at me.
"What?"
"You're just teasing me with all of that!" I said pointing to the expance of abs he was flaunting like I wasn't a. in love with him and b. hornier than I think I'd ever been. My doctor had told me it was normal during pregnancy to be a little more frisky but fu.ck. This was why you had babies in a relationship.
"What?" He said again and I set my hands on my hips.
"Unless your planning to take off the rest of your clothes and touch me? Which I am 100% for by the way. Then you don't get to tease me with glimpses of your perfect body." I grumbled.
"Colbie." he shook his head as I shoved the hamburger at him.
"I'm so serious Jackson." I replied, not really flirting anymore as much as I was frustrated in general. I knew I had pushed him away again and again and I deserved what he was putting me through. But a girl can only take so much.
"I get it." He shook his head.
"Good." We ate in companionable silence for a few moments...all of which I was actually wishing he would take his shirt off instead.
"I noticed the backyard is done." I said with a smile.
"Almost. We still need to fill the pool and paint the fence." I nodded. "You can't let Ruby near the pool unsupervised." He mentioned. I widened my eyes in mock shock.
"Wait....are you saying that infants don't understand the dangers of water?" I asked. Jackson cracked a smile but still he shrugged.
"I"m just saying."
"You better not be reading a shi.t ton of parenting books and telling me how to do things. I've already done this, if anything I should be teaching you." I reminded him.
"Okay." he smirked as he shook his head because I knew him and I knew that of course he was reading parenting books....then again so was I. I didn't know how to raise a girl. "What can you teach me now?"
"Did you learn to change a diaper?" I smirked and he made a face.
"I've done that with Poppy before." I widened my eyes.
"Oh? How did that go?"
"Messy." He admitted, scrunching up his face. "I thought girls were suppossed to smell nice." I bust out laughing.
"Now that is a gender stereotype Jax. We don't want to teach our daughter she has to be a certain way just because she's a girl." I teased.
"You're a smartas.s today." He commented, shaking his head again but this time he was grinning a little. "I'm sorry I couldn't come to the last checkup with the doctor." I waved him off.
"That's fine, there was nothing new and sometimes a girl wants to discuss her uterus with her doctor without the man she has a crush on in the same room."
"A crush Colbie? Seriously?" I shrugged.
"You get all weird when I talk about love." I replied casually, even though every time he blew me off I felt my heart break again. I kept a strong front but unrequited love kind of sucked. Jax turned his head towards me and watched while I sipped my water.

"I love you Colbs." I widened my eyes and blinked as I stared at him. "Just like I love Will and this little girl." he added and set his hand against my stomach. I glanced down where he was touching me and then eventually set my own hand on top of his.

"We love you too." I said, trying not to sound sad. "We're in love with you." I added with a smirk. Jax sighed and shook his head as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"I know." he said simply. I leaned into his touch and for a few minutes we sat in companionable silence.
"Jax, do you remember the first day we met?" I asked.
"Of course I do." he answered, taking a sip of his water.
"I said the last time I had dated I had ended up married with a kid and you promised it wouldn't happen." I said quietly.
"I don't remember that." He replied as he pulled his arm away from me and scooted back out of my reach.
"You didn't keep your promise." I said, looking up at him and biting down on my lip.
"I did because you're going to have two kids, not one, and we're not married." he teased to make the moment lighter. I managed to let out a chuckle.

"No we're not...yet." I winked and Jax just groaned.

"Oh god Colbie."

"Mm...you saying that was better when we were naked." I grinned and he just glared at me.
"We couldn't get married while you were already married anyways." He replied, ignoring my sexy talk completely.
"Well lucky for us I'm not married." I replied happily, leaning back on the folding chairs the construction crew had been using in the kitchen. Jax glanced at me.
"You got a divorce?"
"I did." Jax nodded.
"And what about parental rights?"
"I basically told Nick to shove it. If he wants to see Will he has to prove he's a father first." I shrugged. Jax looked impressed for a moment and grinned.
"Good for you." I smiled back at him.
"More like about time." I sighed. "I guess I'd always been worried if I pushed back at Nick I would end up the loser but the only think I ever did wrong was marry him in the first place." I admitted.
"True." Jax agreed. "Though maybe agreeing to date him at all was a mistake." I laughed.
"Okay maybe, but he did give me Will, so it wasn't all bad." Jax nodded.
"Good point."
"Lucky this time the right guy knocked me up." I teased and he blinked back at me.
"You think so?" I nodded.
"There's no way you'll ever abandon our daughter. Hell you haven't even ended your relationship with Will. Not many men would do that with the son of the woman who dumped them."
"I don't love Will because he's your son." Jax shrugged. "I mean, kind of, because you're a lot of the reason that he's so great. But I love him for him." I smiled, and nearly cried but thank god the crazy emotional state of my pregnancy had turned into the crazy horny. Then again, maybe I'd rather be crying. At least I could actually do that.
"He's pretty easy to love." I replied. "So are you."
"Ha." He shook his head and I knew he was thinking of all the times I'd tried to push him away instead.
"I didn't get scared because you were wrong for me. I got scared because I fell hard and fast and knew that you could be my forever. I didn't want to screw that up."
"Good job." He replied sarcastically.
"Yeah, I'm really brilliant at making my own fears come true." I sighed. "I think every day what it would be like now if I had just kept it together in that hospital. If I had let you take care of me the way you'd always promised to, not even with your words, but with your actions."
"It's useless to wonder what could have been." he replied.
"Yeah. I guess it is." I agreed. "Anyways. I'll leave you to your work."
"I wanted to ask you about the bathroom tiles in your new master. I'd like to get some aqua glass subway tiles but they're a little pricey...."
"I don't care about the money. Whatever you think to do to make the house perfect, I trust you."
"The tiles...they match your eyes." My stomach flipped and I licked my lips.
"Unless you want me to kiss you again you should stop looking at me like that." I almost whispered.

Jax shook his head.

"Do you remember the first time we kissed?"
"I do..." I trailed off and smirked, "Are we walking down memory lane?"
"Do you remember how you ran away too?" he added, ignoring my teasing. I ran my hand through my hair and shrugged.

"I was embarrassed because I basically jumped you."
"I didn't complain, did I?" he asked even if it was rethorical. "Do you remember the first time I made you come?"

"Are you trying to turn me on? Because I'm telling you, I'm already super h.orny so careful with what you say." He ignoring me again.

“After you came you thanked me and told me you thought you were broken. Then you went on talking about you and your ex." he said slowly.
"Yeah." I rose a brow at him, because I knew where this was going and I hated it.

"And after the first time we made love? You basically ran away too." he went on, remembering all that like it was yesterday.

"What's your point Jax?"

There were so many signals Colbs. But I never noticed, I always ignored the, because I thought they meant nothing." he explained as he stared in front of me, "But now? They all make sense."
"Jax no!” I widened my eyes because now he was just looking for reasons to keep away and it was wrong.
"Colbie yes." He retorted calmly, too calmly. "I was a fool, I should've paid more attention."
"Are you trying to say you're regretting all of that?" I almost snapped.
"No, I'd do it all over again because you're giving me a daughter and that's what I've always wanted. Even if it's not how I imagined it would've happened." I wasn’t sure if I loved that or hated it. On the one hand I was happy he loved our daughter so much, but I couldn’t help but thinking…..if it hadn’t been for her would he regret me?

"I can give you so much more, I'm not going to run away anymore." I said slowly.
"You better." he smirked, trying to lighten the moment. "I'd come after you and find you even on the other side of the world."

"But not if I wasn't carrying your child." I said sadly. Happy beyond belief that I knew he was the kind of man who would fight for our child. But sad that he wouldn't fight for me.
"Colbie.."
"There was a time when I knew you'd cross the world just for me." I admitted, hating myself for taking him for granted for too long.
"You're right. He agreed.
"I just want to get some things straight okay?" I started. He nodded and I took a deep breath. "I ran when I kissed you because I was embarrassed. It was in front of my sister and an entire club and it wasn't like me. And the first time you made me come? I wasn't going to say anything at all. You pushed me to talk about what I was feeling and I did because I trusted you and I didn't think you would use it against me later. I felt comfortable with you telling you things I never told anyone. And when we made love?" I took a deep breath because that's what it had been. He had made love to me that night. And I had ran away. "I didn't think we were serious Jax. I didn't want to be the girl who got clingy because we'd slept together. I was trying to not lose you before we even started.....I just. I'm still learning how to have a relationship that works."
"I get it Colbie...I'm not trying to use these things against you..."
"No. You are. You're using my small mistakes as a reason to stay on your high horse and acting like a martyr. I get it. I'm the bad guy in our story." I sighed again and ran my hands through my hair. "I love you Jax. But I don't want to be the bad guy anymore. I'm trying to get my life back together and I thought getting you back would help. But maybe it's just turning me into a pathetic ex girlfriend stalker." I laughed, because honestly? I kind of was.

"First of all? You're not pathetic. I know it's going to take time for us to build a stable relationship and both of us need to adjust still." Jax started. "And I don't think you're the bad one." he added.
"No?" I asked back.
"I made mistakes too, I know that. I was too clingy and didn't give you the time and space you needed when you needed it. I don't meant to use anything against you, I just need to find the reasons why we didn't work." he admitted quietly.
"Yeah." I replied weakly before I felt his arm wrap back around me and pull me against him, cuddling me tightly and making me ache inside.
"Come on I hate seeing you like this."

"I can't help it but I'll get over it." I said softly, relaxing in his hold.
"I'd still fight against the world for you even if we weren't going to have a baby. I mean it when I say I'm going to be always here for you, you can come to me anytime you need...the love I have for you doesn't go away just because we're not together anymore." He told me quietly then kissed the top of my head. "I promise."

"You're confusing me." I admitted, but still leaned into his touch because I felt like I needed it.
"I-"
"I just don't get it Jax." I sighed. "Do you need me to get you some coffee or something?" He shook his head.
"It's late Colbs you should get some sleep." I laughed as I packed up my things.
"I have work to do when I get home, I'll be stopping for coffee either way."
"I'll be fine."
"Okay." I reached up to kiss his cheek gently and grabbed my bag, but when I turned to go he grabbed my hand.
"Thanks for bringing me dinner." I smiled and nodded.
"Thanks for making my house a beautiful home." Jax smirked.
"You're paying me to do that." He laughed and I chuckled too before I shrugged.
"Still. I know you're not treating in like just any job." I replied. "I saw how you worked with your team earlier. Besides how sexy it is watching you easily control 15 burly men?" I grinned and he just rolled his eyes.
"Colbie." he shook his head with a smile.
"I'm just....I'm practically bursting with how proud and happy I am for you." He scratched the back of his neck and looked a little embarassed.
"Thanks." He said with a shrug.
"Thanks?" I said through a chuckle. "That's all? Where's my cocky Jax? He'd say something like. "If you think I'm good at restoring houses you should see what else I can do with my hands." I said in a mock imitaion of his voice.
"Maybe....but you already know what I can do with my hands." he said, his eyes getting darker for just a moment. I swallowed and licked my lips.
"We were only together for 6 months..." I trailed off. "I'm sure I don't know everything..." I replied, biting down on my lip as I tilted my head to the side. Fu.ck. "I should get going."

"Yes you should..." he trailed off, his eyes on my mouth before he lifted his hand to free my bottom lip from my teeth. I shivered.
"Yeah." I said quietly but didn't move. Damn. How we were going to survive a whole life like this? I had no idea. Maybe the beginning was the hardest and then things would get easier. Jax pulled back and slid his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

"Is it okay if Will spends Saturday night with me?" he asked, changing the topic.
"What?" I blinked back.

"I was thinking that Will could have dinner with me Saturday night at the cabin, if you don't mind." I
"Oh. Yes, sure” I recovered from the quick change of topic. "Are you living there already?"
"Yeah, my house sold pretty quickly."
"That's good." I commented a little awkwardly. Jax lead me to the front door and I followed him.
"I'll call you as soon as the nursery is done so that you can come see if you like it." He replied, brushing his hand against the small of my back.
"I'm sure I will." I shivered as he opened the door.
"Drive safe, you have a precious cargo." He said in a softer tone, bending over to kiss my belly. "Night Colbie."