11.16.2015

don’t want for us to end where do I start

don’t want for us to end where do I start


I walked out the back of my bakery, wiping my forehead with my arm after setting a box on the ground, the one with the things I wanted to throw away, while most of the other ones with my stuff were still in the part of my bakery I used as a office even if it was basically a hole. I kept my eyes on Caleb shamelessly as I noticed him walking towards me, his expression a questioning one, his brows furrowed together. I hadn't seen him much since our last talk and I didn't know if it was because of what had happened or for other reasons, but I was determined to keep our friendship intact. Even if rejection still burned.
"I knocked on the front but it was closed." He said once he was close enough for me to hear.
"Yeah." I nodded, setting my hands on my hips and taking a deep breath, "I'm closing early tonight."
"Why?" He asked with an eyebrow raised, his eyes studying me and I let them. I had nothing to hide and after he had seen me naked there was really no reason to feel ashamed of the expression I was wearing. "You never do." He added, only proving me how well he was starting to know me.
"I have an appointment later." I said and glanced at my watch on my wrist, relieved because I still had a little time before meeting my estate agent.
"Don't you have the other girl working?" He asked, still looking at me weird.
"So many questions." I chucked, then I turned serious as I pulled my hair into a tight bun, "I fired her." His mouth opened and I knew what he was about to ask. "I can't afford keeping her here anymore, I need to save and she wasn't that necessary. I need to keep Denis because he actually helps me baking, but I can serve the tables myself, so...it was me only today. Denis got a flu." I explained, sighing because of all the days my right hand had decided to get sick today. It happened. Life wanted to test me giving me bad luck.
He seemed to process my words, his eyes dropping on the box at my feet before moving to mine again. "Do you need money Tara? What's going on? Because if it's for the rent I-" I cut him off before he could go on, raising my hand.
"Everything's fine Caleb and I'll pay the rent by the end of the week like I do every month." I told him serious because no matter how close or not we were, business was business and I'd rather sell all I had than being late on a payment. I could ask help to my parents, or get money from my trust fund, but I wanted to make it on my own instead. "It's just that as you can guess I don't live with John anymore, and since his apartment was, well, his, I don't pay any rent. Now I'll have to so I'm trying to figure out how to make everything work, I have to ease into this new situation...it's going to take a little while but I'll be fine." I explained then felt a little embarrassed. "Sorry I'm talking too much." I felt myself blush because I was usually the opposite, I was the quiet one.
"So you're really broken up." He commented.
"Of course. I wasn't lying to you." I said slowly because I thought I had been clear with him. My decision was final.
He licked his lips and ran his hand over his face as he shrugged. "I guess a part of me thought you'd go back to him." He admitted, and his whole body seemed to relax, I could see it from his posture. God I was starting to spend so much time looking at him and reading him.
"I didn't break up with him for you." I retorted, then shook my head. "Not just for you at least."
It was then that he noticed just how many boxes were in the room. "Where are you living now?" He asked, an edge to his voice that I could hear.
"Um. Here." I shrugged.
He looked at the sky and shook his head. "Are you fucking kidding me?" He asked.
I set my hands on my hips. "Don't talk to me like that!"
"Tara you can't sleep here!!!" He pointed to my office and shook his head again. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"You didn't ask." I shrugged and this time I was just as annoyed with him as he was with me. He had left me walked out without even a question the last time I had seen him.
"I kind of had other things on my mind the last time I saw you and I didn't think you were stubborn enough to sleep here when I have so much extra room!!!!" He exclaimed.
"I'm not living with you." I pointed out. He wasn't that crazy to suggest that right? He wasn't crazy at all for what I know.
He rolled his eyes. "I'm not asking you to put your clothes in the same closet Tara I'm telling you I house the families of entire wedding parties on my property. If you need a place to stay while you look at an apartment you just have to ask."
I shook my head. "This is fine."
"No." He said sharply and my eyes zoomed to his.
"That whole dominant order him around thing is hotter when you're naked. In real life it's mostly just annoying." I retorted, my eyes narrowing on him.
"You need a goddamn bed Tara, come on, this isn't about us. You're my friend. I'm not letting you sleep here again. Plus I'm pretty sure it's against healthcode to live in your bakery."
"No one is going to check, so it will be fine." I glared at him, not liking the way he was talking to me even though I knew he meant well. Because he was amazing. Nothing new about it. "Also is temporary."
He crossed his arms against his hard chest which muscles I could still feel under my hands, his expression serious. "How long has it been temporary already?" He asked, brow raised.
I ignored his question, shaking my head, "I'm going to see an apartment later so it just for tonight only hopefully." I explained, aware that the chances I'd find a decent place to leave so fast were thin but still trying to be positive.
"Okay so tonight you're sleeping in my guests house." He shrugged, his tone finally.
"Caleb, thank you, I appreciate it and everything but no. I can take care of myself and I don't need any help." I retorted just as finally, because two could play this game. I had never let anyone tell me what to do, Caleb wasn't going to be the first one.
He rolled his eyes and groaned, it being different from the groans I head heard while he was inside of me but still as sexy. "You do need help only you're too stubborn to ask."
"Maybe, so what." I said flatly, staring at him. I was already going through so much, I didn't need to argue with him too.
"Why aren't you staying with your sister?" He asked promptly, never missing a beat.
I was tempted to hit my head against the wall, or run away, I couldn't do this. "Because she never liked John and I don't want to hear her tell me I told you so the whole time!" I answered, not bothering to hide my frustration.
He blinked, "Would she, really?"
"No." I said deadpan and a little smirk curved his lips. "It's just that I don't want any help." I said again, stubbornly.
"Listen Tara, we can do this the easy way and you say yes or I'll carry you to the guest house myself." He told me, staring at me and letting me know he wasn't kidding.
"Uhm don't plant that thought in my head..." I trailed off, teasing him.
He groaned, this time differently, "Tara. You're playing dirty." He muttered.
"I wish." I said back, doing that on purpose even though I knew it would lead to nothing.
"Tara." He said again and ran his hands through his hair.
I let out a sigh, not in the mood of teasing anymore because I was tired. "You're exhausting me. Listen, if the apartment I'm going to see is awful I'll do as you say, okay?"
"You could still tell me it's amazing just not to accept my offer." He said back, shaking his head.
"I'm not a liar." I narrowed my eyes on him, "But if you don't trust me you can come with me and see with your own eyes."
"Fine." Caleb replied, narrowing his eyes.
"I was serious about the bossy thing being better when you're naked." I smirked.
He rose a brow at me. "If you want me naked I won't turn you down." He said seriously.
"You already did." I replied, licking my lips and looking at my feet.
He took a step closer to my and tilted my head up with his fingers. "If I remember correctly what I said was that I wasn't done with you."
I swallowed slowly. "But you don't want to be with me." I whispered. Perfect. I didn't want to say that.
"I have also never said that."
"Caleb..." I trailed off because maybe he hadn't used those words but it made no difference.
He ran his fingers down my neck slowly. "We only had one night...think of all we have left to do..."
I took a deep breath but it only made things worse because his cologne almost made me dizzy. He smelt so good. "No I don't want to think about it." I said firmly as I didn't move, I was too weak to pull back because even his lightest touch felt so good.
"Why?" He asked in that damn sexy tone of voice, his fingers moving and cupping the back of my neck.
"Because I don't have time. I have to find a place to live." I swallowed again, my arms feeling dead since I was forcing not to move them around his waist.
He shook his head, lifting his other hand to grab my hip and pull me against him. "I'm sure you can find plenty of time instead...come on Tara, don't tell me you don't think about our night together and wonder what else we could do." He said in that low voice that apparently was my weakness.
"I do." I admitted, setting my hands on his hard chest. "It's a tempting thought, but then I remember we don't want to same things. You were right Caleb." I added and this time I found the strength to push him away even though he barely moved.
"I don't want to be right." He said almost fiercely and pulled me back against him, his arms wrapping tight around my waist.
A moment later his lips were on mine and f.uck me, I just couldn't resist that. He was making me lose my mind. I kissed him back, melting into his hold as my hands made fists into his shirt. "I'm starting to think you're a bad influence." I muttered against his mouth, my eyes boring into his.
His smirk almost killed me and it was so weird, it was as if I could see a glimpse of a bad boy that wasn't him at all. To my eyes he had always been the opposite. "Good." He commented simply, his hands moving down to my a.ss shamelessly.
"I still have to go see the apartment" I reminded him, because that was something I wasn't going to miss just because my hormones were throwing a party.
Caleb growled. "When?"
"Um..." I was a little breathy which made him smirk more as I shut my eyes to think. "What time is it?"
He pulled his arm away from me to look at his watch. "4:30."
"Then 30 minutes."
He hissed in disappointment. "How far?"
I shrugged. "Probably 20 minutes." I said and he didn't seem to like my answer but that didn't stop him from pressing his lips against me again and taste my mouth. I groaned into his mouth and fisted his shirt. Dear god.
"Okay let's go." He grabbed my hand and I smiled as he held onto it while we walked to his car.
"Seriously?" I made a face at his black corvette.
He rose a brow at me. "What?"
I just shrugged. "Men who drive cars like this are usually compensating for a tiny dick."
He let out a long laugh. "That's exactly why I bought this." He said in a fake monotone.
"I know that's not true." I grinned a wicked smile that was almost out of character for me.
"The your theory must not be true." He shrugged.
"I'm always right instead." I retorted as I bit down on my lip, letting go of his hand regretfully.
"Not yet." He said seriously and grabbed my wrist, pulling me against him fast one more time, his hands cupping my face as his lips clashed against mine with a passion that almost made my head spin.
I was surprised, in a good way, and let out a low appreciative moan as my hands grabbed his belts to keep him pushed against me while our mouth parted and our tongues twisted together. It was unbelievable. I bit down on his bottom lip as I pulled my head back, looking into his flaming eyes while a growl escaped his throat. If someone saw us from the outside they'd think we were this close to rip our clothes off. It wasn't far from the truth to be honest. "I hate being late." I smirked before we finally managed to get into his car.
As he started driving I kept my eyes on him, studying him. He looked extremely powerful in his suit, driving that expensive car through the traffic, his eyes focused on the road. "You're staring." He said after a while, a smirk on his lips.
"I know, so what?" I said back and didn't stop, crossing my legs, "Afraid to blush?"
He let out a laugh, shaking his head, "No, not happening." He said cockily.
"You know, I didn't think you were like this." I commented, not caring to say my opinion out loud, I never was, but mostly now that I had nothing to lose. Our friendship was safe, I had nothing else to worry about.
"Like this..." He trailed off a moment to drop his strong hand on my thigh and glance at me, "How?"
"First of all? C.ocky." I chuckled and undid the bun on the top of my head to let my hair down. "You always look so modest, so controlled, so balanced. I had no idea you had this wild side."
"You're making me wild." He replied smoothly and his hand moved between my legs but to my great surprise it did only to grab my own hand.
I turned my head toward the window, not wanting him to see the expression on my face. I felt like I was blushing and that wasn't okay. "Don't use lines with me Caleb." I said quietly, "You don't need them."
"That wasnt a line." Caleb said seriously, pulling up to the apartment complex I had guided him to. It looked awful. We walked up to the building where my realtor in a bright pink suit came up to us with a smile.
"Hello!" She grinned, then looked up at him slowly. I couldn't blame her, but she couldn't stand a chance.
"Hey Jessica." I smiled and shook the womans hand who finally turned towards me. "This is my...." I took a second to look at him, I couldn't decide how to introduce him. "This is Caleb."
"Nice to meet you." She smiled and shook his hand too. "So this is a one bedroom one bathroom apartment, on the first floor."
"First?" He asked, raising a brow at the woman.
"That's all that's available at such short notice here." She shrugged.
"No." Was his response.
"We're at least going to see it." I replied, though I was skeptical myself. I couldn't find even one positive thing about this place.
He shook his head and grabbed my hand as he pulled me into him. "If you stay here I'm spending every damn night here making sure no one breaks in."
I grinned. "Would that be so bad?" I tilted my head as I teased him. I wished.
He smirked, "No." He chuckled. "But I don't have time to drive here and back every day."
I rolled my eyes and he grabbed my hand again, pulling me closer to him. The real estate girl opened the door to the apartment and we walked in and he shook his head. Again. "Are you fucking serious Tara?"
"There are just so few options with your price range and availability...." The woman repeated as she trailed off.
"There's barely even a kitchen!" He exclaimed.
"Well I have a bakery, I don't really need a kitchen..." I trailed off.
"Don't be ridiculous." He replied, wincing at the dirty carpet. It was disgusting, but I wasn't going to say that out loud.
"I'm not but I don't have many options Caleb." I snapped at him, because I didn't need his negativity. I knew this place was awful but what was I supposed to do?
He blinked at me and looked surprised but when I tried to get rid of his hand he didn't let me and recovered soon. "You do have an option and not only it's better than this place but it's free too!" He said back.
Jessica gave me a sympathetic look, "If I were you I'd pick that option and let me more time to find you a place better than this." She said seriously and the fact that she wasn't trying to get me to take this apartment showed me how much of a good real estate agent she was. Also, better place, higher price, more money for her too.
"See?" Caleb looked at me with a brow raised.
I pursed my lips together, apparently someone had taken the decision for me. "I can't wait much longer, I really need a decent apartment." I told her, ignoring Caleb this time and taking a mental note to cut his tongue if he talked again.
"Give me a week top and you'll have it." She nodded seriously, "I'll call you as soon as o find something."
I sighed and offered a smile, "Thank you Jessica. I'll talk to you soon hopefully." I told her and we said goodbye before we walked out of that hole.
"Damn you're stubborn." Caleb pointed out with a vaguely amused tone.
I stopped in my tracks and turned around, this time succeeding in freeing this hand. "Listen carefully. Don't try ever again to act like you know what's better for me, I like taking my decisions alone thank you."
This time he was really, really surprised. Almost speechless. Almost. "Oh come on Tara you know that apartment was awful! You could never live there." He retorted.
"I know it wasn't ideal but I didn't need you to be so vocal in front of the real state agent, I don't like when I can't say things because someone else says them for me. I'm a grown up woman, I can decide if I want to live in a a.hit hole or not!" I started but I wasn't done. "I appreciate your concern, I really do, just don't step on my toes. And another thing, if I'm going to live for a week in your guest house I'm going to pay. I'm not taking no as an answer, either you make me pay or I'll keep staying in my bakery."
"Tara you haven't made me pay for food or coffee in over a year." He pointed out. "That's worth far more than staying at my guest house for a few weeks."
"It won't be weeks." I shook my head. "And you still paid for it. You always put in twice as much as the food is worth in the tip jar. Stop doing that by the way!!!"
"I always tip well." He replied, narrowing his eyes at me.
"200% well?" I glared since I hated that and I had told him to stop before but he never had. "I don't need your charity Caleb."
"I don't do things for you for fucking charity." He said in a voice of forced control. "I do them because you're my friend and I-" He shook his head as he cut himself off, letting me wonder what he was about to say. "I care about you!"
I felt like I didn't have any words anymore as I licked my lips. "Thank you." I said finally.
"Get in the damn car stubborn woman." He shook his head and didn't even open the door for me this time.
"I'm still paying you something." I said as I slid in to the seat next to him.
"What would I even do with that money?" He asked. "I don't need it."
"You could buy a less pretentious car." I offered like a silly girl.
He started laughing. He caught me smirking next to him. "You are always surprising me." He admitted.
"In a good way?" I asked, my voice softer now.
He nodded and grabbed my hand again. "In a great way." He squeezed my hand and I smiled. "I'm guessing you're not going to want the chef." He started speaking out loud.
"What chef?"
"My guest house has a chef on staff." He replied.
"Oh for fucks sake Caleb." I rolled my eyes, almost offended. "No I don't need a chef."
"Are you sure?"
I glared at him and then shrugged. "That depends. Is he hot?"
He growled a little as he pulled into his house. "It's a woman. But I hear the owner of the winery is extremely good looking." He replied.
I bit back a smirk as he killed the engine, his eyes back on mine. "Do I know him? Can you introduce him to me?" I teased him.
"No." He said simply and chuckled before getting out of his car. I watched him as he walked around the car, and I didn't move an inch. "What are you doing?"
"I'm waiting for you to open the door." I told him with a smirk on my lips.
"Oh really?" He asked but did that anyway, "I thought you didn't like that."
"I do." I said as I got out too before heading towards my bakery, knowing I still had so much to do. This was just the first day of many busy days coming.
He caught up with me, grabbing my hand. "Hey, where are you going?" He asked and blinked at me.
I smiled at the expression on his face, letting our fingers intertwine together. "I need to get at least one bag with my stuff for tonight." I told him quietly.
"Oh." He paused then a wide smile appeared on his face. His smile was...wow. "So you're really going to stay at my guest house."
"Yes, afraid I'd run?" I teased him as I let go of his hand to grab the bag where I had stuffed some clothes, my pj and my makeup bag.
"Honestly? Yes." He shook his head, grabbing the bag from my hand and only proving me once again he really was a gentleman. I was starting to secretly think he was Prince Charming material too. "You're so damn stubborn." He added, muttering under his breath.
It was my turn to laugh as we walked to his house. He was right about that. "We still have to figure out a way for me to pay me." I said seriously.
"Can I suggest something?" He asked with a sexy wicked grin that in a second made him turn from Prince Charming to bad boy.
"Caleb. No." I told him back but blushed. "An actual way."
"Too bad." He shook his head as if he was talking to himself and opened the door of a house that already seemed too big for me only. It already felt lonely.
I stepped inside and looked around, forcing myself to smile and be positive instead of depressed because I was going to be alone in a place that didn't feel like home at all. "It's nice here." I said and it really was. In that moment my phone rang and I picked the call. "Hey." I said to my sister.
"Hey everything okay?" She asked in that tone that meant she needed me for some reason.
I nodded, as if she could see me. "Yes I'm okay. What about you?"
"I'm having second thoughts about Patrick again." She told me in a sigh. That was nothing new to me, lately she had those a lot and I didn't understand why. Her boyfriend was perfect. "Can I come for lunch tomorrow?"
"Of course you can. I'll wait for you at the bakery." I said as I got mentally ready to talk to her about John. It was going to be a big talk.
"Perfect. I'll see you tomorrow." She said cheerfully and I smiled because I love how close we were.
"Night baby." I told her and hang up, realizing Caleb was staring at me with a brow raised.
"Who was it?" He asked then swallowed, "Sorry I didn't mean to ask that."
I smiled at him too. "It's okay, it was my sister." I explained then let my eyes wander around again. Definitely too big.
He walked behind me and set his hands on my hips carefully. "What's up Tara?" He asked, sensing that something was off. He was starting to reading me a little too well.
"This house is huge." I said quietly, leaning back to feel his hard chest against my back.
"It's meant for more than one person." Caleb admitted.
"I feel tiny in here." I said, leaning into him. I was tiny into his arms.
"You are tiny." He replied, kissing the top of my head and wrapping his arms around me tighter.
"What are we doing?" I whispered.
He turned my so he could see my face. "I don't let you sleep in your bakery again. You need a damn bed. I'd ask you to stay in mine if I thought you'd say yes."
"If I stayed in yours I'd never actually sleep and then I'd be too tired to work. My bakery would get me more rest." I said so seriously despite how turned on he was making me.
"I let you sleep a little last time." He replied, giving himself some credit.
"I wore you out you mean." I smirked and he laughed. I loved when I made him laugh.
"Not even close sunshine." He replied, running his thumb across my lower lip. "But I'd let you try again if you wanted."
"Sunshine?" I echoed him, smirking before catching his thumb between my teeth and nibblling gently.
"Don't you like it?" He asked as his hand trailed down my neck, his head moving closer to mine and angling so that our lips were barely an inch apart.
Here we were again, getting distracted, with him tempting me and seducing me in a way I didn't even know he could. "I don't know." I whispered, not really paying attention to what he was saying to be honest.
He shot me the smallest grin before pressing his lips against mine, his fingers cupping my neck firmly as I parted my mouth to allow his tongue to slide against mine, the kiss growing deeper within seconds. My hands went to his hard chest, a moan escaping me because his kisses were almost as good as the sex, he poured himself into them and I feel possessed, as weird as it could sound. "Do you want me to show you the bedroom?" He asked once we managed to break the kiss.
"I can find the way by myself." I told him in a breath voice that to be honest embarassed me a little, but what could I do if that was the effect he had on me. He stared at me blankly and for once I was the one able to read him, he was thinking I was stubborn, too stubborn. "Show me the kitchen first." I added.
That made him grin, finally, and he grabbed my hand to lead me through a long hallway, "You're going to love it." He announced before we stepped inside.
I widened my eyes. Wow. Mine was ridiculous compared to this one. "Everything here is huge." I commented, brushing my finger tips against the sooth stainless steel surfaces.
"You can say that." He said back, breaking into a big grin.
"Oh naughty Caleb." I grinned back at him, guessing that I wasn't going to use that kitchen to cook but I'd go to mine whenever I had to eat. "I'm starting to think it's true what they say, that quiet ones are the naughtiest."
"You have no idea." Caleb replied seriously, and he watched as my eyes held his and I licked my lips.
"I have some ideas..." I trailed off and smirked back at him.
"I hope you'll share them with me eventually." He grinned and tugged on my arm to bring me closer.
"Eventually." I replied, and he pushed my hair out of my eye as I studied him.
"What?" He asked after a little.
"You.....how did I not know about..." I trailed off.
"How did you not know I've wanted you since the moment I saw you?" He asked. I swallowed and nodded. "I don't really know. Somedays I was in control but there were too many times when I was sure you'd guess how I felt."
"I never did. I was too wrapped up in my own mess of a relationship to realize what was right in front of me."
"Does it matter now?" He asked.
I licked my lips, "What does?" I asked back, buying a few more seconds to answer that loaded question. These day nothing seemed to matter much anymore, everything was changing and I was adjusting, but I was always so upset and confused I didn't even know what to think anymore. There were days when I didn't even want to think. Then I saw Caleb.
"Everything." He shrugged, still keeping me against him.
I shook my head and looked up at him. "No...when I'm with you nothing really matters. You make me forget everything because when we're together I feel good and the rest, all my problems, disappear." I told him honestly.
He seemed to take my words badly because his expression changed into a mix of surprised, pained and scared one. "Tara-"
I set my index finger on his lips and I stopped him. "I don't expect anything from you, don't worry. I was just telling you how I feel because you're my friend and you're helping me. That's all." I told him softly, meaning it.
He swallowed and nodded, pushing my hair behind my ear, "Okay."
I grinned a little at his response, not wanting to get upset for him all over again. I was lucky enough to have him still as a friend. "Show me the bedroom?" I asked.
That got his smirk back in place and he led me to the other side of the guest house. "Tired?"
"A little." I sighed, "The couch in my bakery is not the most comfortable."
"You could have asked my help from the beginning." He muttered under his breath and shook his head. I just kept smirking, amused by the annoyed tone of his voice. "This I your bedroom. And it's the best one." He said motioning to the large room.
I gave an appreciative nod, it was really lovely. "It looks really nice. But why is it the best?" I asked out of curiosity.
"Because you can see my bedroom from the window." He shot me a cocky grin.
I laughed. He killed me when he was like this. "So you're assuming I'm going to creep on you everytime I can?" I asked him, looking out of the window and yes, unless he had the blinds closed you could get a glimpse of his bedroom. Good to know.
"No, maybe I will instead." He shrugged as he teased me, gravitating closer to me once again.
"I don't want to stay alone tonight." I confessed after a moment, the thought of spending the night in a place that big making me feel anxious all of a sudden, but I couldn't bring myself to look at Caleb while I said that. It sounded like an invitation. And it kind of was, only I felt like I was pushing it and I didn't know if that was okay.
"I wasn't planning on letting you." Caleb replied casually.
"No?" My eyes looked up at him.
He shook his head. "Do you think I'd be able to sleep knowing you were in a bed a few seconds away from me?" He asked.
"Are you going to stay with me every night then?" I asked back, tilting my head to the side. I was teasing mostly but...it wouldn't be that bad. Completely insane though.
"I will until you kick me out."
"You said-" I started, but then I cut herself off and shook my head. He was so against realtionships and still he was so gentle, so good, just like a boyfriend would be.
"I said what?" He blinked back at me.
"Nothing." I replied, my voice a little breathier. "It's still early....did you want to get something to eat?"
"I told you there's a chef on staff." He reminded me.
I made a face. "You have too much money Caleb."
He laughed as he shook his head. "There's no such thing." He replied, before lowering his mouth down to kiss me but hovering above my lips. "Do you want this?" He asked, teasing me.
I just nodded as he let his hand trail down my neck and cup it tightly. Ugh. "Caleb-"
"What are you thinking?" He asked, before lowering his mouth to press soft kisses down my neck.
I closed my eyes as I focused on the feeling of his lips on my skin, which was amazing, as usual. "Nothing because you're kissing me." I breathed out, being obvious but I didn't care. I was honest and if that would get me in trouble? I didn't care. When I was with him I didn't care about anything because I felt so alive.
"It's impossible that you think nothing, you're too smart for that." He muttered against my neck as his mouth trailed up before he pulled back to look at me.
"I'm thinking that your suit looks very uncomfortable." I replied softly and slid my hands under the heavy fabric of his blazer to push it past his muscular shoulders and down his strong arms. He had the body of a god, seriously.
He broke into a breathtaking grin, "I don't have a change here." He said with mischief into his eyes and god if that look didn't make my knees weak...
I shrugged, tossing his expensive jacket on the couch behind me then dropping my hands on his chest once again. "I don't think you need one." I told him as I umbuttones his white shirt. He could wear any color and look like he just popped out a gq cover, but when he wore white shirt he was just irresistible. I didn't know if it was because it made his slightly tan stand out or because his eyes seemed even more blue than they were, maybe it was both.
"I don't think you need one either." He replied in a low voice that made me shiver, his body motionless as he let me undress him slowly. I was dying. No I was dead already and gone to heaven.
I let out a small laugh and pulled his shirt out of his pants, "But I'm not uncomfortable." I said back before letting land his shirt where his jacket already was.
He shook his head, smiling at me, "But this is not fair. I'm shirtless and you're still al covered."
I shrugged, taking a step back away from him, "If you think it's a problem." I said nonchalantly and just as nonchalantly I peeled my top off, revealing my very not sexy sport bra. I wasn't on a mission to seduce him.
He groaned, running his hand through his long golden hair. "Tara."
"What's next? Because I'm telling you, my panties are even worse than my bra." I said and set my hands on my hips, faking a confidence I didn't have and tilting my head to the side. I always did that, whenever I was in a situation I didn't know how to handle, I pretended to be the most confident person on earth. "Oh and I'm still hungry so if you're having bad thoughts..." Save them for later, I added in my head as I shook it.
"Why would I have bad thoughts as you slide your hands all over me and take off your top?"
I widened my eyes and then laughed. "Did you just make a joke?"
He nodded, but his eyes were on the way my sports bra hugged my boobs together. "I've been known to make a few."
"I need to do laundry..." I trailed off, saying something random to ease the tension between us because it was killing me and I didn't know what to do except for jump him.
"There's a laundry room down the hall. Or you can get it sent out."
"I do my own laundry Caleb." I laughed.
"Can we stop talking now?" He asked, tugging me back into him and kissing me fiercely.
I moaned into his mouth as he cupped my head and pressed me up against the window that looked into his bedroom. "Someone could walk by..." I whispered as his hands cupped my breasts through my bra, my nipples beading into his palms.
"So?" He asked, smirking at the way my breathing sped up and my eyes dialated.
"Are you an exhibitionist Caleb?" I asked before he took my mouth again, his hand cupping my ass and rocking into me slowly.
"Maybe." He teased, his hand running to my jeans to unbutton and unzip them before he slid his hand down the front while I gasped. And then my phone started ringing on the floor. O had no idea how it had gotten there, we must have knocked it off my purse while we'd been kissing "Ignore it." I moaned, arching into his hand but he backed up like I'd shocked him.
"I can't..." He trailed off, blinking away from the picture still on my phone. "It's John."
I froze. Then I panicked. What did he want now? "Ignore it." I repeated again.
My words were enough to make him pull away from me as he shook his head while I missed his touch instantly. "No you have to take his call!" He said back harshly.
"But I don't want to!" I retorted while the phone kept ringing, only making me more anxious. It was as if I wasn't living my own life, like I was in denial.
He picked it from the floor and handed it to me, glaring at me. "Tara." He growled, "If you don't take it-"
"What?! You will?!" I spat, narrowing my eyes on him. His face changed and I realized I had said the wrong thing. F.uck. I grabbed my phone from his hand and called John back, turning away from Caleb. "Hey sorry I didn't get your call in time." I said quickly once he picked the call.
"I stopped at your bakery but it was already closed...is everything fine?" He asked and I widened my eyes as I thought that my ex, the cousin of the half naked man next to me, was just around the corner. Or he had been. The though alone made me want to throw up. Or cuddle against Caleb, hiding against his strong chest.
I swallowed, trying to hide my face from Caleb because I didn't want him to read my expression as I paced the room. "Yeah, I only had a meeting. What did you want?" I asked him, wanting to end this conversation as soon as possible.
"You didn't give me your key and you left a few things in my house." He said with his usual calm tone.
"Oh. Sorry. I mean, okay I'll come to get everything tomorrow and I'll leave the key too." I said lamely, not looking forward to go back to that place.
"Perfect. Bye." He said without using too many words and a second before the line went dead.
"What...what did he want?" Caleb asked from behind me, his voice uncertain.
I walked to the bed and sat on the edge, staring into nothing. "He stopped at my bakery to give me some stuff." I answered in monotone, then but down on my lip because I felt like I was losing it and I didn't want that to happen in front of Caleb. Not to mention that John could have seen us...or what if he went looking for Caleb too? I didn't even want to think about it.
"I-" Caleb sighed and shook his head before kneeling in front of me. "I don't know what came over me."
"You feel guilty." I replied, looking at him with almost dead eyes.
He shook his head slowly. "I feel guilty that I haven't told him how I feel about you. I can't feel guilty for how I feel because you're amazing. Who could blame me?"
"He could have walked by." I whispered but he shook his head.
"He wouldn't have." He replied, cupping my face in his hands again. "Are you still hungry?"
"Yes." I whispered.
"Okay, let's go get some food." He grabbed his shirt, pulling his arms back through it and buttoning it most of the way before rolling up his sleeves.
"Aren't you going to get your jacket?" I asked after pulling my own top back on.
"No I'm hoping it'll mean you'll let me come back after." He smirked and my stomach flipped. I'd let him for sure.
"Oh you're tricky."
"There are so many sides of me you've yet to see." He smirked, grabbing my hand and kissing it before he led my back to his car.
"If we're going somewhere fancy....I mean I'm not really dressed."
He shook his head. "What you're wearing is perfect for what I have in mind." He replied. "Though even if we were going to a 5 star establishment no one would care what you're wearing."
"Because I'm so beautiful? Ha. I told you no lines."
He laughed. "No I was going to say because your nipples are still showing through your top." He smirked and I looked down before covering them with my hands.
"Oh my god Caleb."
"Aren't sports bra's suppossed to help with that? You know your overwhelming attraction to me?" He teased me and I rolled my eyes.
"The cocky side of you is one I'm not used to."
"Stop making me so cocky then." He teased, reaching over to grab my hand and squeeze it while we pulled up to a little mexican restaurant.
"But I do nothing." I said back as we got seated at a small table in the corner of the room which was just perfect.
He shook his head, not leaving my hand and scooting closer to me, "You compliment me a lot. And not just now, you always had." He said almost softly.
"Because you're amazing." I said softly as I used my free hand to caress his scruffy cheek before cupping it, holding his gaze with mine. He swallowed and I knew what he was thinking. "No arguing about that. I can't help thinking that."
"I still think you're overrating me." He said in a low voice.
"If I was I wouldn't be here." I told him before sealing my lips with his, needing his kiss like air to feel some of that peace of mind again.
"Ready to order?" A squeaky voice interrupted us and I pulled back, noticing how the waitress was looking at us weird.
"I'm taking whatever he's talking." I shrugged and smiled at Caleb, trusting his taste since he liked everything I made.
He ordered something with chicken but I wasn't even listening, too lost into his face and into my thoughts. "Do you know what sometimes you look at me in a way that I can't read at all?" He said once the girl left.
I blinked at him, "What?" I asked unintelligently, completely taken aback too. Did I?
He smirked and pushed my hair behind my ear, "What are you thinking about?"
"We look odd." I said simply.
He laughed, causing my smile to widen just because of that happy sound. I loved it. "What do you mean we look odd?!"
I bit down on my lip, giving him a glance over, "Your shirt is a mess but you still look kind of fancy while I look like I just ran away from home. We are a odd pair!" I explained, picking my words carefully.
He shot me an amused look and raised one eyebrow at me. "Do you care?"
I shook my head, smirking. "No, not at all." I told him honestly then ran my thumb across the palm of his hand. "Thank you for this Caleb." I added quietly.
"This? This is nothing. So stop thanking me." He said seriously, closing his large hand and holding my own in his.
"I'm putting you in a bad situation and I don't like it. I'm not like this...I...I feel awful when I think about it. And yet I can't stop right now." I confessed then took a deep breath, wondering how unfair I was really being with him.
"I can't stop either." Caleb admitted.
"So..." I started.
"So-" Just then the waitress came with our food and set it in front of us.
"I don't want to put any expectations on us." I replied and he widened his eyes. What did I say that was so shocking?
"What?"
"Maybe I need to spend some time figuring stuff out." I took a deep breath.
"Okay..." He trailed off.
"But I don't want to stop kissing you." I added, my eyes flicking to his. It's like I always took a step forward then one back, so I was always in the same place, which was really close to Caleb.
"Just kissing?"
I smirked and bit my lip. "I don't usually do casual sex."
He nodded. "I know."
I ran my fingers through my hair. "But He don't think I could say no to you." I whispered.
He took a deep breath and sighed. "I don't want to be the thing you do because you can't say no." He mumbled.
I swallowed and stared into his gorgeous eyes, feeling as if I was playing a dangerous game where I was betting all I had on and I was so afraid to lose everything. "It's not just that, you know it." I told him, refusing to believe I was the only one feeling...this. Whatever it was.
"Then what is?" He asked quietly and surprisingly enough he took a big gulp of water.
"If I really really wanted to say no to you I would. The thing is I don't want to, and it's not just because all of a sudden I realized that the attraction between us is pretty much impossible to fight, it's because the more I know you the more I like you." I told him honestly as I clasped my hands in my lap, biting down on my lip nervously and waiting for him to tell me something.
He studied me with those blue eyes for a long moment, then shook his head, "F.uck." He muttered under this breath and I felt my stomach drop.
"I never know the right thing to say around you." I added in a small voice, feeling the need to apologize for some reason, as if I was ruining his life just because I was selfish and couldn't just let go.
That seemed to get his attention and he looked at me, "Tara you didn't say anything wrong. You already know I like you and to hear you say you like me...f.uck."
"Please stop saying that, you're making me nervous." I made a face, still tortouring my bottom lip.
"Sorry." He chuckled, easing the tension a little, "What do you want to do?"
"I don't know, I'm confused and tired and..." I trailed off, sighing as I ran a hand through my hair and looked away. "I don't think we're in the right place to define what we are or what we want to do. You don't want what I want and as if that wasn't enough you're still John's cousin. Every possible scenario I imagine in my head only gives me a headache."
"I know what you mean." He sighed while I wondered if he did really, and he brushed his thumb across my cheek so tenderly that I melted a little. "We could just forget everything for a while...what do you think?" He suggested in a soft voice.
I nodded because that was an amazing idea. Crazy, irresponsible, but amazing. I felt myself smile again, "See why I like you? You always have the best ideas."
"I've never been so reckless in his life than when I'm with you." Caleb admitted, running his hand over his face. "And the crazy part is that it thrills me...I don't feel guilty even though I should."
"Don't feel guilty."
He smiled and ran his thumb over my lips. "I don't. I'm just enjoying your incredible company and also wondering when I can touch and taste and feel all of you again."
I widened my eyes and then chuckled a little. "It really is a wonder you're single with lines like that."
He laughed with me. "Yeah it does sound like I'm super smooth when I'm with you. I swear I'm not usually."
I rose a brow. "You're not smooth?"
He shook his head. "If anything I'm awkward. Or too serious."
"Who you?" I gave him a look of mock surprise and he rolled his eyes.
"Yes yes, you're not the first person to have told me that....I don't know. I never really needed to be good with women."
I started laughing harder and he gave my a questioning look. "You're crazy. You're like easily the sexiest man I've ever met. You don't need to be good with women you just need to look at them....or take off your shirt."
"The sexiest man you've ever met huh?" He smirked and I nodded.
"See and there's that smirk thing right there. Girls love that."
He grinned wider and almost groaned as I licked my lips. "Girls? Or you."
"I'm a girl." I smiled, being a little smartass.
"If I'm so sexy why didn't you notice me before?"
"It's not that I didn't notice you-" I started but cut myself off. Pausing, I raised one eyebrow slowly as I looked at him. "Are you fishing for compliments?"
"What? No!" He laughed, shaking his head.
"Don't you get enough from all the girls drooling over you?" I went on, propping my elbow on the table and resting my chin on my hand as I kept my eyes on him.
"No one ever drooled." He said seriously, "I'm curious because it's pretty obvious that you find me attractive."
I blinked at him but I was still amused. I always had fun with him, he made me smile, her made me laugh. He tuned me back in the girl I used to be. "How is that obvious?"
He shrugged, "You're even forgetting to eat just because you keep looking at me."
"Oh god. You're right." I said and glanced down at our food. I finally grabbed a taco and took a bite. "Mhm. This is so good."
"Don't get sidetracked, I asked you a question." He grinned at me before starting eating too.
I licked the corner of my mouth, then swallowed. "I noticed you from day one Caleb. You're handsome...that is obvious."
He took a swig of beer and I mimicked him like I was a monkey. "I never thought you'd like me." He said honestly.
"I never thought I'd like you." I said back just as honestly and he shot me a questioning look as he ate. "I mean not like this. I always liked your looks and I started liking your personality as soon as I started knowing you. But it's like I never put the two things together...if that makes any sense."
"It might take a while to process your words." He grinned at me.
"It's all you're getting from me." I shrugged as I hid my grin into my glass of beer. I feel as we were almost...no. I couldn't go there, not even in my thoughts.
"I was going to ask you out the day I met you." Caleb admitted.
"You...what?"
"I had no idea who you were. I just saw you at that restaurant bar and when you turned and smiled. I wasn't sure what was more striking....your smile or those eyes."
"Caleb." I whispered, widening my eyes.
"And then I felt like an asshole when I realized you weren't only my cousins new girlfriend, but you were also about to be renting from me."
I gave him a soft smile. "You didn't have to feel guilty. You didn't know." He licked his lips, and I could tell by the look into his eyes that he was about to question the present. "Don't say it." I said.
He looked up at her, surprised. "Don't say it?"
"Don't ask if you should feel guilty now." I replied.
He smiled softly and grabbed my hands. "That wasn't what I was going to say." He said seriously.
"I'm feeling....intense right now." I admitted.
"I thought you liked intense." He smirked, remembering how I'd said that was my type.
I laughed. "I do. But I feel like it might be too much. I'm starting to think too hard."
He nodded and pushed back my hair, knowing that he could distract me easily. "Think about me stripping you out of those clothes and tasting every inch of you instead." He watched those eyes He loved dialate as I bit down on my lip.
"Okay." I said breathily.
"I'm serious. Every fucking inch. I'm going to be slow...tease you until you can't take it anymore."
I swallowed and felt hot all over, his words making me cross my legs under the table even though it was no use. "Do you have idea of how hot you are?" I asked, cupping his jaw.
"I think so." He nodded as he shot me a big grin, "I'm cocky, remember?"
"Yes." I laughed and I closed the small distance between us, kissing him hard because I just couldn't resist. I didn't even want to to be honest. "But just so you know, you don't need to do so much to distract me."
"What do you mean?" He asked as he dropped his hand on my knee.
"I mean you don't have to talk dirty to me to let me forget about all the rest." I confessed quietly.
He brushed his nose against mine, "Are you complaining?"
"No, god no." I smirked and felt my cheeks blush, "Being with you, talking to you, being in your arms...is enough for me to feel peace."
"God Tara." He let out a groan, "Do you know what your words do to me?"
I kissed him quickly again and smiled, "No but I hope it's good."

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