fate fell short this time

Tuesday;

I walked into my new office with a smile on my face, happy about how my life was turning. Or at least about my job. I had a shit ton things to do but I didn't care, I didn't care if I was going to be exhausted and without a break for a very long time, this was my dream becoming true. My eyes dropped on the bouquet of beers on my desk. Uh? Weird.
I reached for the card and read it.
"Jax,
Remember the Green Mill Brewery I took you to and we had the flight of beers that you've said were the best you've ever tasted? Well here's the full size. Enjoy them double for me since I can't drink them. ;)
I love you
-Colbie" 

I blinked. If she thought that getting me drunk would make me forget about all her mistakes she needed to buy me a whole fucking brewery.

Thursday;

I raised one eyebrow as soon as I saw the delivery guy walking towards me. Colbie's house was still far from being finished and I doubted one of my guys had ordered anything.
"Mr Cole?" He asked and when I nodded he handed me a huge paper bag. What the hell? "Have a nice day!"
I blinked as I watched him walk away, then sighed when I found the card.
"Jax,
You were the first person to introduce me to the best sandwiches in the city. Hope you and your new staff has time to eat all the goodies.
I love you,
-Colbie" 

I shook my head and went back to my staff, "Lunch break." I announced and they gave me the same look I had given to the delivery guy. "Colbie's treat." I added with a shrug.
Mike grinned at me as he fished one sandwich out of the bag, "A woman who does that? Damn Cole, marry her already."

Friday;

I walked out of my office, too tired to think about anything at all. All I wanted was my bed and 8 hours of sleep.
"Jackson there's a present from you." The door man told me, calling me by my first name because he was an old man and I didn't want to look like those pompous ass that treated people like shit just because they owned a cool office.
"Thank you." I told him with a smile as I grabbed it, not needing to guess who was sending it this time. It was Colbie, I already knew. I climbed into my car and opened it.
"Jax,
Our little one might be a girl but I know she's a Giant's fan just like her Daddy. Can't wait to all go to games together. (Will picked this one out!) Good way to start her wardrobe right?
I love you....I miss you.
-Colbie." 

I stared at the super tiny San Fransisco Giants jersey. I had no words. No, I had them, but I couldn't sat them out loud.

Saturday;

I held my cup in my hands as I stared in front of me, the view I had from the back of the cabin was amazing. I felt away from the rest of the world, in a place where I could enjoy silence and peace, where I could think straight even though sometimes my thoughts were a little louder. As I sipped my coffee I wondered if I would get something from Colbie today or if she was done. I had woken up thinking about her, but as the anger went away I felt a hole growing into my chest because I missed her and it broke my heart all over again receiving all those gifts from her. I wished she would just give up and make everything easier. I even felt bad for her. Unbelievable.
I sighed and I got ready for my day, which wasn't going to be a too busy one, I only had to buy a desk for my office and start working from there. I was going to take things slow today, I was exhausted from the past busy week.
As I drove through the city and towards my office I passed past Colbie's house and I couldn't help wondering how she was, what she as doing...I took a little detour, bought a box of her fave chocolates and drove back to her place. She deserved a thank you at least. I
knocked on her door, Will opening and giving me a million watt smile. "Jax! What are you doing here?" He asked, excitement evident on his sleepy face.
"I just stopped to say hi." I told him as I smiled back at him, "Is mom home?"
He nodded, "She's still in bed but she's awake...I think her back hurts or something." He sighed, "You should go upstairs and check on her." He added and I know what he was doing. It killed me to see the hope into his eyes.
"All right, can you make her a decaf in the meanwhile?" I asked him.
"Sure." He nodded before almost running to the kitchen. Maybe this wasn't a good idea but it was too late to go away.
I headed to her bedroom, knocking on the door gently before stepping inside. "Morning Colbie." I said quietly.
Her eyes widened in surprise as she lifted herself in a sitting position. "Jax..what- why are you here?"
"Will asked me the same thing." I smiled a little, wanting her to know I wasn't there to fight with her. But I wasn't there to get back with her either. "I wanted to thank you and see if you and Will are okay."
"We're fine. And you're welcome...I'm happy you liked my gifts." She said then groaned a little, "Oh my god I'm sure I look like hell."
"You look beautiful as usual." I reassured her, meaning her. Even with no make up, her hair messy and her silly pink pajama she was still glowing. "Here. For you and Ruby." I added as I handed her the chocolates I had bought for her. "But with this we're done. You don't have to send me something everyday...as nice as it was." I said, picking my words carefully.
"If I do nice things for you? It's because I want to, not because I need to." Colbie said seriously.
"Colbie-"
"How's work?" She asked, changing the subject quickly.
"Good" I smiled and ran my hand through my hair. "I have a really great team, we just need to get some projects started."
"I have someone who's looking to restore a 100 year old house nearby." She offered.
"Great? That's just the kind of thing I'm looking for. Something to put us on the map."
"Want to see the house?" She grabbed her iPad off her bedside table and scrolled until she found it. "It's an old Victorian. Beautiful and so much character but it needs a lot of work."
"I know this place." I said as I scrolled through the pictures. "I've always thought it could be brought back to life. Is the owner looking to flip it? Or live in it?"
"Definitely live in it." She replied. "What do you think?"
I scrubbed my hand over my face but I had to say that it'd be a great work. "It would be a huge project. Can you give the owner her number? I'd have to really talk it over."
"I already have your number." She replied and bit down on her lip as she let me take in her words.
I blinked at her. "Did you buy that house? Really?" I asked slowly as I raised one eyebrow at her. I was almost jealous.
She nodded and looked excited, for a second all our drama seemed far away. "Yes." She paused, "So, are you going to take the job?"
"I don't know if it's a good idea." I sighed as I ran my hand through my hair. It'd be amazing to put my hands on that house and I was really tempted but that fact that I'd be working for Colbie made me nervous.
"Why not?" She asked with a shrug.
"Because I'd mix my job with my personal life and lately all we do is fight and argue, so..." I trailed off, not needing to add much more.
She reached for my arm and squeezed it, "I promise no more fighting and no more arguing." She said in a soft tone and I had to admit she looked so damn cute. "I want you to restore my house, not anyone else."
"Why?" I asked. There were so many people to ask to, I wondered if she wanted to use this as an excuse to keep me close to her.
She rolled her eyes. "Because you're the best and I wouldn't trust anyone else." She replied as if that was obvious.
"Thank you." I offered a smile, meaning it. I wasn't sure yet though. "I have to think about it."
She leaned back against her pillow, setting her hands on her belly. I wanted to touch it too, but I held back instead. "What's to think about, just say yes Jax."
"I should see how's the inside of the house first." I told her seriously because if I was going to say yes? I had to treat this like any other job. And I knew you always had to see a place before taking any decision.
"Thank you!!" Colbie threw her arms around me without thinking and for a second I hugged her back.
Then she made a sound and I pulled away quickly. "Colbie."
"I'm sorry. Fuck it just feels so good to be in your arms." She admitted, shrugging slightly as she leaned back.
"I don't know what to say to that." I said slowly.
"Say you'll see her tomorrow at the house?"
I looked at her for a moment. I couldn't say no, could I? "I will."

Sunday;

I turned my truck onto the road at the same time Colbie pulled up to the house. We both parked and she grabbed her coffees. "Hi." She smiled brightly at me. "One cream and one sugar." She smiled as she handed me a cup and I looked at her warily before taking it.
"Thanks." I looked up at the house, already thinking about all the things that would need to be done.
"Want to walk through?" She asked.
"Let's do it."
"Have I mentioned how well your ass fills out a pair of jeans?" She asked, not afraid to play a little dirty apparently.
"Stop." I said seriously.
"Seriously though." She whistled and I turned to her with a glare.
"If I'm working for you? You're not allowed to say things like that."
She smirked and took a step closer to me. "Should I be afraid of a sexual harassment charge?" She teased. I just growled and turned away. "If you don't want me to compliment you you shouldn't be so good looking." She shrugged.
"You have got to be the most stubborn woman I've ever met." I mumbled as we walked through the house. The front hallway was really nice, with a little bench and hooks to hang coats and it opened into a large living room with a big kitchen and even a sun room. But it needed a lot of work. The floors were stained and broken apart and there was clearly water damage.
"Wouldn't you love to live here?" She asked, smiling.
I shook my head as I looked around, carefully, my brain working fast. There was so much to do. "No." I said simply and headed to what looked to be the living room. "What do you want to do with the fireplace?" I asked when my eyes dropped on it.
"Restore it." She said with no hesitation and I took that as a good thing. I hated when people were indecisive. Apparently she was only about her feelings. "Why not?"
"Too big for me and my baby." I answered in monotone, almost automatically, because I was already walking to the kitchen which was an absolute mess. "There's surely a problem with the water system. Probably with the electrical one too." I added as my eyes took everything in slowly to memorize it.
She followed me as we moved to the next room which was...I had no idea there was nothing. No sign of anything, it was just an empty room at the moment. "And with me?" She asked, ignoring me completely.
As much as I was trying to keep things professional or at least friendly, she was making it hard. I felt her eyes on me and her questions didn't help either. I didn't need to think about a future I couldn't have. "We're not together anymore so there's no reason to even imagine that." I groaned and when I finally looked at her I knew she was about to say something back. So I cut her off before she could even start. "Colbie, if you don't focus on this I'm not going to take the job."
She shrugged as she faked innocence, "It's a nice thought to indulge in. Us, our kids, the fireplace..." She trailed off softly and I glared at her. F.uck it was more than nice. But as she said before, we were living in the real life not in some stupid movie when there was an happy ending.
"Last chance to give me your attention Colbie." I warned her, walking past her as we went downstairs.
"I think the foundation needs a fix." She finally said something helpful.
My eyes scanned the cracks. "Nothing big here, you're lucky." I commented shortly, trying to guess how long it'd take to do all the works. I didn't know yet but I knew I wanted it to be done in time for our baby. "Tell me what else you want."
"You never talked to me like this...your business tone is almost a little rude...it's sexy." She licked her lips, back to her mission of torturing me.
I groaned, rolling my eyes. "Colbie." I shook my head, "Show me upstairs before I change my mind."
"If you wanted to see her bedroom you only had to ask." Colbie smirked and I groaned again in frustration. "The railing and this staircase is one of my favorite parts of this house....I know it's a little broken down but I'd love to just restore it."
"It might be expensive to match the woodworkign here." I pointed towards the spindles.
She nodded. "I don't care what it costs." I looked up at her and blinked. "I have a really good realtor. I got an excellent deal on the house." She led me into the master bedroom which was big and spacious with vaulted celings and even a balcony off of a little reading nook in the corner. And it needed to be completely redone.
"This is incredibe Colbie." I admitted.
"I don't want to change much." She explained. "Just update everything, make sure the balcony is safe so I can have my coffee there in the morning, or rock Ruby at night."
"It's perfect."
"It would be more perfect to come home to you too." She admitted, her voice losing the flirty note to it as it because more vulnerable. "To watch you rocking our daughter on the balcony." The minute she said the words her hand flew to where our daughter was resting. "Oh her god she just kicked!" She smiled and looked up at me.
"What?!" I rushed up to her and she set her hand against the same spot where she kicked against her again.
"Wow." I whispered and when I looked back up into her eyes she reached up and held my face in her hands before she pressed her lips against mine.
For a moment I gave up and kissed her back, going back to be man I had been with Colbie, the one who would've given her the world, who had put her first. As she pressed herself against me, I felt her tummy push against me too and I came back to my senses. It wasn't just us, there was Ruby between us and I had to think about her. "Colbie." I said quietly as I finally pulled back, holding her hands with mine to force them off my face.
"Jax please I need you." Was she said as she wrapped her arms around me, hiding her face against my chest.
I rubbed her back gently, because I loved her and to be completely honest I didn't think I'd ever stop. "I'm going to be here for you and Will and Ruby always." I paused when she pulled her head back too look at me with those big blue eyes that f.ucked me up everytime. "But not like this."
She pouted at me, "We'll be good."
I shook my head, "You better or I won't be so accommodating." I pulled back and she rolled her eyes.
"You can't threaten me." She retorted.
"I'm not, I'm warning you." I shrugged nonchalantly as I kept walking around the house, exploring without her permission. "This one is for Will I guess." I said stepping into a room that was smaller than Colbie's but still big.
"Yes, he picked it himself." She nodded and smiled a little, for a moment stopping torturing me.
"I'll come back with him tomorrow so that he can tell me what he wants to do with it." I shrugged nonchalantly because no matter if Will was 14 only, I knew his mom wanted him to take his decisions and I wanted that too. He was about to have a baby sister to take care of, he needed to be responsible.
"Good idea." Colbie smiled. "This one is for the nursery." She said softly as we walked into the small bedroom just off the master.
"I guessed." I said softly, looking around at the smallest room with the big bay windows and pictured the nursery how it'd be in my mind.
"I don't want it to be too girly." She admitted. "I hate the whole pink for girls blue for boys thing."
"Me too." I agreed.
"I think it should be classy instead. A white bassinet, a few rocking chairs, matching changing table. Maybe striped wallpaper or something fun."
"Are you sure you're a realtor and not an interior designer?" I asked, smirking over at her
"I've picked up a few things over the year."
"There are 5 bedrooms in this house." I pointed out as I walked through.
"I want more kids someday." She replied and my head snapped back to her.
"You want 4 kids?"
She shrugged. "I love being a mom." She replied. "And I love you." She added, watching my face break again.
"I don't think I can do this Colbie." I replied, my voice cracking slightly.
"How can you not see that we're everything together?" She whispered. "I know I hurt you, I know I ran away when things got real but Jackson I LOVE you. Will loves you! You want to put Ruby first but how confused is she going to be knowing her parents love each other but aren't together?"
"It's not worth the risk anymore."
I shook my head. "It IS worth it. You are worth fucking everything. Don't you hear me? Do you not believe? If you don't love me anymore I'll stop but I feel your love in every look Jax. I'm never going to let anything in my past or future ruin that."
"Do you love me Colbie?" I asked her, knowing I wouldn't get anything if I kept arguing with her.
She nodded quickly, "Of course I do." She replied simply as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which wasn't instead.
"If you do, just let me go. Let me live without reminding me every five fucking minutes what I've lost because of you." I explained and was being super honest. "I feel like I can't breathe sometimes."
"Are you going to take the job or not?" She asked instead. Good god she was so impossible.
"No, I don't think I can." I shook my head, because it was crazy. She was crazy.
She shrugged, "Fine, I'll call some other guy who'll ruin this beautiful house."
I groaned because she knew which buttons to push. Fuck my life. "Fine. I'll do it. But I need you to promise you won't be around too much because I need to focus. That and it wouldn't be safe for a pregnant woman anyway." I said seriously and she pursed her lips together. "Colbie."
"Okay, okay! I promise." I was her turn to compromise. Thank god.
"Good." I nodded as we headed back outside, "I'll call you as soon as I'll have more details like how long it's going to take and the costs."
She bit down on her lip, fire into her eyes. "Mhm I can't wait."
I shook my head and sighed. "Don't make me regret it."