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I straitened my tie as I took a look around at the party. I hadn't really done anything but host it, but still I liked to make sure the reputation of the winery was still in tact no matter how much my hand was in it. We were raising money for Water Conservation, my date Tina was the head of the charity. I honestly wasn't sure if she was interested in me for me or because it was a good venue for her events but what else was new? Dating wasn't a fairytale it was all about what was best for you, and she was beautiful and smart. That was enough for me. Well it wasn't. But it was enough for what I needed.
"You look deep in thought." I recognized the sweet sound of Tara's voice before I even saw her which was crazy since usually I could feel her presence. I was lucky I didn't because in her long evening gown I wouldn't have been able to give the speech Tina had written for me. I just barely stifled the groan as I attempted to keep my eyes on her face, but that was just as beautiful as the rest of her so really it was pointless.


"I didn't know you'd be here." I said with a smile, relaxing as I looked into her pretty face. It was always a combination of easy and hard with her. I wasn't sure which was worse.
"I came for the views and the wine." She laughed, holding up her glass of chardonnay and using it to wave her hand across the view.
"You have that whenever you want." I laughed. "Your cafe has the best view and I'll always send you wine."
"Yes but then I wouldn't get to bust out my cinderella dress." She teased with a slight shrug.
"Did Cinderella wear that?" I asked. "No wonder the prince was smitten." Tara's eyes widened and a very slight blush creeped over her cheeks just like every time I accidentally hit on her without being able to stop my damn mouth.
"I think it was the shoes that did him in actually. Not the dress." She replied, recovering quickly.
"Oh? And did you wear the shoes too? I thought you already had a boyfriend and here you are trying to get a prince."
"No offence to Cinderella but I think my shoes are even better." Tara joked back, playing right along. "And just for your information Cinderella was still Cinderella even after she met her prince." I laughed but I could hear that it was pained as I did. Every time that she said something that proved she was more than just a pretty face it pissed me off. And that made me an asshole.
"That's a good observation."
"I'm not looking for a prince though." she added, although I was sure that was true. She would barely hire help in her store, she wasn't a woman who needed a man to take care of her. "You're right I have a boyfriend even though he's not really prince material."
"No?" I was surprised, as much as she didn't need a man I knew women liked the idea of a prince, and John was good looking, well employed, financially stable, hit all the checkmarks.
"John is more like...oh well I don't know. Not prince, not king either. It's silly anyway." she shrugged, and sipped her wine, looking highly uncomfortable. I didn't mean to do that....
"So is he coming?" I asked this time after a few moments of silence.
"He should be here already but I guess he's late." she sighed, clearly more than a little frustrated. "I got changed in the back of my shop and we were supposed to meet here. It was his idea to attend this event, to be honest I wouldn't have come if it wasn't for him."
"Why not, don't you like the venue?" I brought my hand to my heart in mock offense.
"You already know your winery is the perfect scenario, but all these people?" she let her eyes wander the party. "I just don't fit. I feel out of place a little too."
"Why is that? You're a business owner like most of them." I pointed out. "And a woman as well. Half the women here are just trophy wives." I spat the last part ashamed of myself and my past. She blinked, probably reading into my disdain.
"I own a bakery and cafe. Not exactly the biggest money maker." She laughed. "And I don't care about that, that's the point."
"You are of a much higher class in my opinion." I admitted softly. She blinked and then smiled as she sipped her wine.
"I didn't mean you by the way." She pointed out. I rose a brow at her. "I mean....you seemed to think I was insulting you when I said I didn't fit in." I shook my head.
"No...I know you weren't." I replied seriously. "I just feel the same way, even though this used to be just where I belonged."
"You look like you do now too." She pointed out.
"So do you." I reminded her.
"Touche." She laughed and I closed my eyes for just a moment to enjoy the sound.
"Caleb." Tina reached out to smooth my suit, something that seemed too possesive for our relationship. "Your speech was flawless. I knew you could do it."
"I was just reading a paper." I replied, shrugging over at her.
"And looking like a million bucks doing it. Keep it up handsome." She winked at me before catching the eye of someone and walking away.
"I didn't know you were the new spokesmodel for Water Conservation." Tara said, trying not to laugh as she did and I rolled my eyes.
"Ha ha." I shook my head, feeling a little....I'm not sure what I was feeling. It felt slightly like embarrassment but that didn't make any sense.
"She's right though. You did a good speech."
"I didn't even write it. The duties of being a host." Tara blinked up at me.
"Don't you care about the cause?" I saw the twinkle in her eyes and I knew she was mostly teasing, something that not many people had the guts to do with me.
"I'm throwing the event arent I?" I asked, the corners of my mouth turning upwards.
"I don't know you could do it for the money." I laughed at that.
"It's a fundraiser in case you didn't notice."
"But you get free publicity for your winery and the poor fools who didn't know about the existence of this please are now impressed and will talk about it to their friends." she responded just as fast. She was so damn smart.
"You have a point and I'm not even surprised, you run your own business quite well after all." I said back.
"I don't really think you did this for the money though." she added quietly, her face flushed a little. "And thank you for the compliment."
"You're welcome." I said softly as she reached for her phone and started typing on it. "Am I so boring you feel the need to look at your phone?" I added with a face of fake hurt on.
"No I'm calling your cousin." she answered softly as she looked at me before speaking. "Hey where are you?"
"Here." Came John's voice and his arm wrapped around Tara from behind, his lips pressing gently against her cheek.
"You're late." she sighed but kissed his lips anyway, her whole face lighting up when she saw him. "Hi."
"Hi baby" he said back, ignoring her words completely and looking back at me, "Were you taking care of my girlfriend?" He asked, a signature smirk in place.
"She takes care of herself." I replied seriously, my eyes flicking away when he placed his mouth against her neck.
"That she does. You outdid yourself this time Cal." he winked at me and I smirked. Johns father was my fathers brother and the two familys had always been close. He was more than just a cousin, he was a friend.
"Maybe you should have become a winery owner instead of a lawyer. You'd get to throw fancy parties too." I teased back, both of us knowing that I hated these things and didn't have much to do with it besides providing the venue.
"Damn it why didn't I think of that." He shook his head and I laughed along with Tara. Tara. The only thing I wouldn't do for my cousin was stop lusting after his girl. I tried. It was completely out of my control which was infuriating since I needed that control.
"Sorry I'm late, traffic was a bi.tch." he shook his head and I grabbed a flute of champagne from a passing waitress.
"I'm sure that was more enjoyable than being here." I admitted.
"Ahh but then I wouldn't have seen my girl." he reached down and kissed her again and I didn't look away fast enough to not notice the way her eyes fluttered shut and her body immediatley melted into Johns, her face content and happy. She was in love. And I was a terrible, terrible person.
"I'll leave you to her then." I said, a little more cold than I had anticipated but again it was out of my damn control.
"I wouldn't walk away just yet..." John trailed off.
"What?"
"Caleb!" I cringed at the high pitched voice of my ex-wife. Who the hell invited her? Then again I knew Selene. She pretty much did whatever she wanted.
"Selene." I said curtly she cringed at my tone but bounced back quickly.
"John." She smiled at my cousin who didn't offer her a smile back.
"Selene this is Tara, John's girlfriend. I'm not sure you've met." She barely glanced at Tara before looking at John.
"Nice job, he's a catch." She winked at him and then turned back to me. "We need to talk." I rose a brow at her, wondering how I ever thought of her as beautiful.
"About?" I asked, though I was sure I already knew what it was about. With Selene it was either about money or sex.
"Sorry I have to discuss something with him." John said quickly, knowing that she was my weakness and interrupting.
"I-"
"I'm sure he'll call you later." John assured her, pulling me aside and guiding Tara with us.
"I could have dealt with her myself.'" I muttered.
"Yes you could have." John paused seriously before breaking into a smirk, "But this way was easier and faster. More effective even." I scratched the back of my neck as I muttered to myself, not really sure what I wanted to say but annoyed all the same. Not at John. It wasn't his fault. None of this was his fault.
"Should I thank you?" I forced a playful tone. John chuckled, keeping Tara anchored to his body while she watched me. "You're welcome. You should find a decent woman, one who doesn't talk too much." Tara kept her eyes on me as she snaked her arm around Johns waist.
"You could do better than that." she commented shortly. I took the time to look in her eyes, she looked genuine, then again she didn't really know me.
"Yes. You could. You should!" John nodded."You should find someone like Tara." I felt my eyes widen and my heart rate speed up.
"Wha-"
"Because I don't talk too much?" she interupted, "That doesn't sound good."
"You talk only to say smart wise things and that's what I love about you." John said back to her, tracing her jaw with his finger slowly. She just turned towards me.
"Is it just me or he sounds like he's only trying to save his a.ss?"
"I think he's right. You don't waste your words on nonsense." I said softly.
"Thank you." she replied, her cheeks getting pink for some reason.
"You're welcome." I nodded.
"Still though Cal, why can't you find a decent woman?" John shook his head at me and I rose my brows.
"Maybe it's because I'm not a decent man." I suggested, sounding as if I was just teasing him when in reality that was exactly how I felt.
"Yes, good looking successful men are disgusting to women." Tara teased and I smirked at her.
"I'm also very wealthy." I teased back and she wrinkled her nose, looking much younger than she even was.
"Only the non-decent girls care about that." She replied seriously. I laughed since I had found that to be mostly true actually.
"My date tonight isn't too bad." I shrugged. "She runs a charity after all."
"She's okay." He shrugged. "Then again I'm biased. Hard to compete with this one." He turned to Tara and then pulled her into a kiss I had to look away from.
"John!" She laughed against his lips and I shoved my hands in my pockets. I had no idea why I had such a viseral reaction to Tara. It was attraction, sure. She was stunningly beautiful. But it was more. There were plenty of beautiful girls in the world. Plenty I'd been with. I wondered if it was because she was with John. We'd never been into the same girl before even though we grew up competing.
"I missed you today." He nuzzled her neck and I swallowed thickly.
"Should I get you two a room?" I asked monotonously.
"Sure." John grinned back at me and I mumbled as I started to walk away.
"No! Caleb stay, sorry we just haven't seen each other in a while." Tara replied, her cheeks pink and her eyes glossed over.
"Don't you live together?" I asked, raising a brow at both of them.
"We do." John nodded, smirking again, "I told you, didn't I?" I shook my head. No he had not told me.
"Tara did." John shrugged and pulled Tara tighter to him which seemed to delight her.
"Anyway, I'm a lucky man." He replied smoothly and I set my jaw as I ran my hand through my hair.
"Yeah I think we already agreed on that." I muttered almost too fast.
"He's saying that just to flatter me." Tara added hurriedly, the words coming out in a playful tone. Silence fell for a moment, as I tried to think about anything but them while they were right in front of me. 
"Baby." John said eventually, barely even looking at her, "I have to go talk to someone."
"But you just got here." Tara protested. He cupped her cheek and kissed her quickly, "We have the whole night." he reassured her before walking away.
"Can you get me another drink please?" she asked softly.
"Of course." I walked over to the bar and ordered two glasses of my favorite merlot, bringing it back to her with a smile.
"Thanks." She lifted it to her mouth and gulped down half of it before her eyes widened and she pulled away. "Oh my god this is delicious." I smirked as I sipped mine.
"I know it. It was almost a sin to drink it as fast as you just did." I said seriously.
"I should have known better." she sipped it slowly this time, her eyes closing as she let out a soft moan. Fuc.k she was trying to kill me.
"Caleb!" A man walked up to me and I blinked, recognizing him as Pat Williams, a CEO from a company I didn't care about. "What a great turn out. Congratulations." I nodded, giving him a stiff smile and a hard handshake.
"Thank you."
"Can I bother you for a few moments? Some business to discuss." He grinned and I shook my head.
"I'm sorry, I'm actually already having a discussion. Pat Williams, this is Tara (i forget her last name) She owns (i forget the bakerys name :3) He seemed to just realize she was there and took a long moment to look her over. Damn man was married and still he was lingering on every curve. He took her hand for way longer than neccessary and shot her a creepy smile.
"Surely you can let me take this one away for just a few minutes-" he started but I interupted.
"I'm sorry, but I'm not one to leave a woman alone." I replied seriously.
"I understand. Espcially one so beautiful." I almost growled as he winked at her and then found someone else to exploit, walking away quickly.
"You could have talked to him." She said softly.
"He's awful. You're much better company." She smiled a little but then winced.
"But if it could have helped the winery..."
"I seriously doubt the winery will be in trouble because I blow off one guy." I laughed.
"Because it goes so well already?"
"Yes, that's why." I said back, amused. I watched as her face turned from playful to serious before she took another sip of her wine and then looked back up at me.
"You didn't have to stay with me though. I understand that kind of situation, I don't need a babysitter."
"Do I look like a babysitter?" I asked.
"Not what I meant." she commented shortly as her eyes went to John who was talking to someone I had no idea of who it was, clearly charming him as he always did.
"So...how was your day today?" I asked, hating to see her upset.
"Good until a few moments ago." she confessed in a sigh, regretting it immediately, "I think I need some chocolate right now."
"That's...random."
"Never heard of comfort food? Dark chocolate does that to me." she told me. "I'm going to sneak into my shop a moment, want to join me?" I opened my mouth as I ran my hand through my hair, knowing I should say no, but too tempted to walk away. She was upset and what was the worst that could happen?
"Okay." I agreed eventually.
"I'll give you your fave." she smiled more genuinely, leaning the way and I just barely put my hand on her lower back before thinking better of it.
"You've convinced me." I smirked, my hand still practically vibrating from where it had touched her skin.
"I knew I would." She threw me a smirk that lit up her whole face and I choked back a groan. We walked in a comfortable silence as we made it through the winery and up to her bakery. Well at least it wasn't an awkward silence. I'm not sure comfortable was the right word either with her leading in a dress that left her back open and hugged over the perfect curve of her as.s.
"It's beautiful here." She said after a while, and I had to pull my eyes away from her body to reply. I was such an as.shole.
"I agree. I never get sick of it."
"I'm so jealous you get to wake up to this every morning. How wonderful it must be to sip your coffee in a view like this." I smiled, since it was one of the things that had made me purchase this specific winery in the first place. The little balcony off the master bedroom was perfect for morning coffee. Not that it stopped me from getting more at Tara's.
"I won't pretend it isn't everything you're imagining it is." I replied as she got the key to her shop and pushed inside. We both walked in but before we could get to the back her whole body went flying forwards, I grabbed her waist, pulling her back and into me as my reflexes kicked in.
"Are you okay?" I asked, my body instantly responding to how hers was pressed up against mine.
"I tripped." She said. her eyes wide and her breath coming out in short pants. "You have damn good reflexes." she said back, smiling up at me.
"I wasn't going to let you fall." I said seriously and fu.ck she was warm and soft and so perfect there was no way she couldn't read the lust on my face.
"Thank you." She smiled, and that was when I gathered enough control to pull myself away from her body. But now that I knew what all those soft curves felt against me? I was going to have a new set of fantasies. Tara smoothed down her dress, looking away as her face flushed.
"I'm not used to gowns and high heels." she said eventually, looking wildly uncomfortable and I cursed myself for making things awkward.
"I bet they'd be uncomfortable to bake with." I commented, trying to relax and talk about something I knew made her more at ease. She just nodded and I was about to apologize before she turned around and seemingly forgot the whole incident.
"So, what do you want?" she asked, getting a piece of dark chocolate for herself and nibbling on it.
"I thought you said you'd give me my fave." I replied.
"Right." she reached for a tiny bowl from the fridge and set it into the microwave before turning it on. Then I looked back at me. "It's going to take a few minutes." she said softly, biting her chunk of chocolate and looking at me again.
"Don't you think I learnt that by now?" I smiled and she smiled back at me but her eyes glazed over for just a second and if I didn't know any better I'd say she was kind of checking me out.
"You have amazing hair." she said softly, reaching out to push back what my sister referred too as way too long hair for a man my age. Her touch jolted me, making me almost trip over nothing at all before I forced a laugh.
"What??!"
"Nothing, I was just saying that you have amazing hair." she muttered and her face flushed again, something that happened to her a lot and was surprising, but god it made me wonder if I could get her whole body to blush for me.
"I use conditioner." I said back with a straight face.
"Really?!" She widened her eyes and I laughed.
"No." She turned around again as the timer on the microwave started up again.
"Must be good genes."
"I guess." I smirked, "That's the first time I've gotten that particular compliment." I admitted.
"Really?" She looked suprised as she fiddled with her ingredients.
"Yes." I laughed.
"I'd think girls would compliment you all the time." I shot her a look that she didn't notice because she was too busy cooking.
"Not about my hair." Sometimes when I was with her you'd think I didn't know how to hold a fucking conversation. What the hell was wrong with me?
"Ahh so you admit you get plenty of compliments." She grinned as she set a plate in front of me.
"I don't really know how much is average to say that I get plenty." I smirked and took a big bite. Damn the woman could bake.
"I'm surprised a man like you is still single at all actually." She admitted, plopping herself down on the seat next to me as if she wasn't wearing an evening gown.
"Why is that?" She shrugged.
"We talked about this already. You know why." I nodded.
"I'm not really a relationship person." She looked at me for a beat and then licked her lips, making it nearly impossible for me to look away from them.
"Because of your marriage?" She asked finally. I hated talking about my marriage. For a lot of reasons, but for some reason unbeknownst to me I felt comfortable talking now.
"I was a terrible husband." I ran a hand through my hair. "I wouldn't want to put another woman through that."
"Terrible?" she echoed me and furrowed her brow, "I can't really think of you as terrible anything."
"That's just because you don't know me that well." I answered softly as I looked into her pretty eyes.
"So what did you do to be terrible?" she asked before reaching for more chocolate.
"I..." I trailed off and broke eye contact, since I did everything wrong. I was arrogant and treated her like a pretty thing to carry with me to parties, and when I wasn't doing that she wasn't of any use to me unless we were having sex, which became more of an obligation than anything else. I never cheated on her, but I definitley came close a handful of times because I was a giant as.shole.
"You don't have to tell me." she offered a smile and got up, making herself something as she realized I wasn't talking. "Do you want something to drink?"
"What would you suggest?" I asked from behind her.
"Tea with black cherries. It's good for your soul and with your dessert too." she said quietly and a minute later she was offering me a cup, leaving me think in the silence of her bakery.
"It's good." I commented shortly after taking a sip, "I was too selfish I think. All my time and attentions went to my job and I ended up neglecting my wife...it wasn't fair for her."
"If she wasn't able to making you want to give her attentions maybe she wasn't the right one for you." Tara suggested carefully.
"Something tells me you're the kind of girl who believes that out there there's only one soul that fits perfectly yours." I said back in a teasing way.
"And even if I was?" She asked.
"That's a good thing to be." I said shrugging before I said something I wasn't sure I'd ever said out loud. "I don't think I ever even loved her, much less fit her soul."
"Oh." She widened her eyes as she looked at me and I shot her a grimace.
"See why I'm not such a catch?" I asked, scratching the back of my neck.
"You can't help who you love." she replied. "You probably shouldn't have married her though." she pointed out. "Why did you?"
"Because she fit into the life I thought that I wanted." I said almost automatically because that was what it was. I had thought we wanted the same things. Money, respect, family. Those were the only things that had ever been important to me. I realized pretty soon how stupid that was. She never did.
"That's not really a good reason." She replied, a sadness in her eyes as she looked at me that was so genuine. As if she truely cared about my life.
"You're right. You're lucky you have the real thing." I added, feeling like my chest flashed hot as I did. Tara looked down into her teacup and licked her lips as a sadness fell over the room.
"I guess." she answered shortly.
"You guess?" I echoed. Tara lifted her head as she made eye contact again, but her face was pretty neutral. "John and I haven't been together for long enough to know if it's the real thing
"One year is not enough?" I asked tentatively.
"Is it?" she asked back and I could sense that I was probably the wrong person to talk to about this. I was her boyfriends cousin after all. "Do you want more?" she asked, eyeing my empty bowl.
"No thanks." I walked up to set the bowl in the sink and was about to wash it when she spoke.
"I'll wash everything tomorrow morning." she told me before turning the lights off and heading to the door with me behind her.
"Are you okay?" I asked, my hand reaching for her waist in an attempt to keep her from falling again. At least that was what I was telling myself. She took a deep breath and nodded.
"Yes. Thank you for not leaving me alone." she whispered while we made our way back to the winery.
"A girl like you should never be left alone." I said without thinking. She turned to me, her eyes blinking curiously.
"What do you mean?" She asked, licking her lips and looking so damn tempting I almost broke. Instead I pulled my hands away from her and looked in front of me.
"An event like this? A beautiful woman like you? Plenty of men here would love to steal you away." I replied, trying to act non-chalant. She laughed and I relaxed.
"Oh so you're protecting me? Or John?" I swallowed. I was definitley not protecting John. If anything, every moment I was alone with her was more and more dangerous. Not really of course. I knew her well enough to know she would never betray him. And besides that, she'd never shown any attraction to me whatsoever, so even if one day I did lose all control and try something? It would only ruin a friendship. Not to mention my relationship with my cousin. Which was another reason not to keep fu.cking touching her.
"Both." I ended with, hoping she wouldn't hear the way my voice broke a little at the lie.
"Such a good man." She bumped her hip against mine playfully and I swallowed as I struggled to smile back at her.
"I try. John is probably wondering where you went." I added. Reminding both of us that he was still here.
"No. He's still talking to the same man as before." She replied, grabbing another glass of champagne and downing it quickly.
"That bothers you." I replied. She shrugged.
"Like you said. I shouldn't be left alone."
"No. He's not being very wise tonight." I agreed. Noticing at least three other men stop and turn as I walked by with the brunette beauty. He was a fool to ignore her like he was. And I was an as.s for hoping he kept it up. She shrugged, almost as if she was immune to things like this happening but I think I knew women a little better than that. Hell I think I knew her a little better than that.
"It's just how he is." she replied simply.
"I'm sure he'll be done talking soon." I knew my response sounded weak but it was all I had.
"You know what, we should dance." She offered.
"No." I said out loud what I had meant to say in my head, too fast, to cold. I could see that I had hurt her. Fu.ck. If she only knew. "I'm not a good dancer." I lied. She sighed loudly.
"It seems like there's no way I can make this night better." she said and it took a lot for me to not sweep her onto the dance floor and show every man in the room just what they were missing by letting her be alone. "I'm going home." she announced, pulling me out of what was at least a G rated fantasy.
"You can't go already, it's still early." I said, too fast to be casual.
"I have to be up in 5 hours." she explained. "I'm going to tell John." she sighed again and I watched as she made her way over to him and he looked surprised that she was even still here. I was going to have to talk to him about that. He kissed her as if it was an afterthought before going back to discussing what was apparently much more important than Tara.
"Thank you for keeping me company." Tara said, her eyes soft as she stood on her toew to kiss my cheek softly. 
"Anytime.." I trail off, fisting my hands to keep from touching her back.
"Careful, I might hold you to that." She smiled softly but it didn't reach her eyes. I wondered what was wrong with John that he could even take his eyes off Tara tonight. I could barely stay away from her when she was covered in flour and chocolate. In an evening gown she was practically lethal.
"I hope you do." I said seriously, never one to turn down time with her. I wondered for a moment if the way John was with her was the way I was with my wife. Wondered if there was some man in her life that had been thinking about her the way I did about Tara. I even kind of hoped that there was. I wanted her to be happy, since I clearly didn't do it for her.
"You seem very deep in thought." Tara's voice brought me back to earth and I blinked down at her.
"I'm in my head a lot." I admitted, being honest as I always was with her. Well....for the most part.
"I can see that." She nodded. "Works for you though." I smiled and reached out to brush her hair out of her eyes without thinking.
"Thanks." I said softly.
"You're welcome." she was blushing again, but this time? I had no idea why.
"How did you get here? Do you need a ride back home?" I asked. She blinked back at me for a few seconds before shaking her head.
"No thanks, I'll call a cab." she said eventually, smiling as I put my hands in my pockets. My mother would have killed me if she'd known I was letting a girl take a cab home at this hour alone, but she'd also kill me if she knew my thoughts about my cousins girlfriend so I figured I was already screwed.
"Okay." I nodded but kept my eyes on her. "I'll see you tomorrow." I added. Her smile turned more genuine and she nodded.
"Of course. In a few hours." she chuckled, "Goodnight Caleb."