where you are i am

I wiped my forehead as I looked at the progress I had made on my wall. It looked good, but I felt like something was missing . Which was when I heard the door. What the? I walked to it and opened it to find Travis smiling as he looked at me with a pizza box in his hands.


"Did you order pizza?" he asked, glancing at the carton box.
"Trav!" I grinned and threw myself into his arms. "I thought you had your usual family dinner tonight."
"I had." he answered quietly and pulled his head back to kiss my mouth, his free hand grasping at my hip. I reveled in the feeling of him close to me since it had been a few days. I was an independant girl and I could go without him but I missed him.  "But I wanted to see what my baby was up to." I pulled back and realized that I must look a total mess in my paint clothes and messy hair.
"I was painting the mural in the other room..." I trailed off as he closed the door behind him.
"Can I see it?" he asked simply, curiosity in his tone. 
"I'm not done yet...and I don't want our pizza to get cold. I'm starving."
"You don't even have a chair here I'm sure there's no food either."
"I'm getting closer to the delivery guy." I said in a silly voice, setting my hands on my hips as I grinned at him, my whole day better with his surprise visit.
"Who, me?" he asked back seemed to decide to eat on the floor while I grabbed two cans of beer from the fridge that my brothers had brought as a housewarming gift. Men.
"No, the other one."
, "Did he brought you beers too?" he asked with an eyebrow raised, as he opened the pizza box.
"Yes, I said they were for my boyfriend, just in case he'd decide to come over." I joed as I grabbed a slice and he raised his beer to mine. 
"Such a smart girl. To your new house?"
"To my new house" I agreed the words sounding exciting instead of scary now that all the paperwork had gone through. "Oh yummy you got everything on it." I said almost to the pizza.
"I know what you like." He grinned, his eyes thinking with amusement and something else I couldn't quite read.
"You do." I agreed, my mind going dirty the way it always did when he spoke to me in that slightly deeper timbre.
"You have paint on your neck." He smirked reaching out and sliding his finger over my skin before showing me the purple and then wiping it off on my/his tee shirt. "And you've ruined my shirt." He was grinning, so I knew he wasn't teasing me, but still I felt a little out of my element. He had caught me by surprise, I was still painting when he'd come over and I didn't have people watching that part of me often.
"Oops." I gave him a big fake pout for emphasis, watching his eyes dart to my mouth. "Forgive me?" I asked softly, leaning in to place soft kisses against his neck.
"Hmmm, what do I get if I do?" He asked, pulling me into his lap and making me forget how hungry I was.
"Anything. Always." He grinned at me and pressed a kiss on my mouth before reaching for a slice of pizza,
"I know." he answered seriously which made me chuckle and shake my head.
"Then why did you ask?"
"Because I wanted to know if you knew too." he said back, her grin getting wider as he kept his eyes on mine. I sighed and took a slice, it was awesome pizza.
"Were you hungry baby?" he asked, then ate himself.
"I painted all day and lost track of time." I explained, "What did you do today instead?"
"Same as every Sunday. I slept in, did the laundry-" I choked on a mushroom as I laughed, "What was that for." I covered my mouth with my hand as I tried not to laugh.
"Sorry Trav but the thought of you doing your laundry kills me a little."
"You're just a silly girl."
"Don't you love that about me?" I asked and smiled, hating my words as I thought about how to catch up from the past couple days. "I saw my brothers the other night." I said quietly, now not looking at him anymore. He took a long sip of beer his free hand still on mine.
"Is everything okay?"
"They want to meet you." I said finally and Travis swallowed his bite, looking back at me with a look I couldn't quite read.
"I don't think so." He said after a moment, not angry, just....final.
"Okay." I agreed, since honestly? I didn't want it to happen anyways. My brothers were a lot to deal with even if you werent' srewing their baby sister. Not that I didn't think Travis could handle it. If anything? I was afraid he could take on all 5 and that wouldn't go over well. But I couldn't help feeling a little annoyed at his complete lack to WANT to meet my family. He knew and liked Colbie, and that was enough for me, but I met his whole family. Loved his whole family. Hell Jax was becoming one of my best friends.
"Okay?' He questioned. Knowing that was the word I used when I had more thoughts didn't want to say them.
"You're not even curious?" I asked, blinking back at him as I took a swig of beer.
"Do you think it would go well?" I shook my head.
"Probably not."
"Do you think we need useless drama in our relationship?" I sighed.
"Never though? Or just not right now?" Travis reached out and pushed back my hair.
"I'm confused baby. I can tell you don't want it to happen but when I say no you're upset. What is the proper response?" His hands left my body and I felt a shiver go through me as he pulled away. I missed his touch instantly. And then the real reason I didn't want them to meet Travis hit me.
"I don't know. They're a huge part of my life and I can't keep my romantic life and my family life separate for forever. If you never want to meet them? It's a deal breaker." I admitted. "But if you meet them now...." I sighed as I tried to work up the courage to say what I needed to.
"Lila." Travis nudged me further, being so patient when I was anything but. God I didn't even deserve him.
"Do you love me?" I asked finally. That was the thing. I didn't want my family to know I was in so fu.cking deep for a man who didn't feel the same way. I was taking anything that he would give because I loved him that much. "I don't need the actual words....just a yes or no." He just stared at me, looking shocked as I felt like the air was getting thinner around me.
"Baby..." he said and cupped my cheek gently. I grabbed his wrist and held it tight, not letting it go. 
"Yes or no Trav." I said seriously and stared at him, trying to read his thoughts.
"Of course I love you." It was the words I wanted, but I could hear what was underneath them. This time I pulled back.
"But you're not in love with me." I said quietly, almost in a whisper, breaking the eye contact and staring at nothing at all. What wwas he doing then? What was the point?
"I'm sorry Lila." he said honestly, at least man enough to be real with me, to not lie or say what I wanted to hear.
"Will you ever?" I asked, as I played with the hem of my shirt, knowing that my voice sounded weak//
"I don't know Lil, I can't predict the future."
"Why are you even with me?" I finally said in one breath.
"Because I want to. Because I'm happy with you and we have fun, the sex is great...I couldn't ask for more honestly." he paused and I didn't say anything. Because I was fun and good in bed was the same reason idiot 18 year olds my freshman year wanted me. That wasn't enough anymore. Was it? "I couldn't let you go and lose you Lil, I needed you to be mine. I still do." And there was the words that kept me going.
I nodded and finally looked back at him.
"Does it make me pathetic that that's enough for me?" I asked softly. Travis groaned and grabbed me, pulling me into him, burying in his face in his neck.
"I don't deserve you Lil." he said against me and I held him tighter, as if I was afraid he could disappear if I didn't have a good grip.
"You do. I need you." I admitted, since I was pretty sure I didn't know how to live without him anymore.
"I need you too." he admitted and I felt like a fire was burning in my stomach. That was more than enough for me. Because it was the one thing we felt the same.
"I'm sorry." I pulled back. "I ruined your nice night." He shook his head and pushed my hair back, holding my head.
"We needed to talk I think." He admitted. I smiled and nodded before I stood up.
"Do you want to see what I was working on all day?" I asked and his eyes widened, surprised. I never showed anyone unfinished work. But I felt like I wanted to for some reason.
"Of course." He agreed and I took his hand, walking him to my bedroom. The large back wall was my current project and I hadn't even really come up with an idea. I just knew I wanted it to feel like me and with the graphic black and white so far I was happy.
"Wow." He said, his eyes even wider as he walked closer.
"I'm going to put my bed here so it's the focus." I said happily. "I'm buying a king sized bed." I added, turning to wink at Travis. He reached for my hips and pulled me back to lean against him as he pressed a soft kiss against the side of my neck.
"King sized, uh? I approve."
"I wonder why..." I trailed off, setting my head against his shoulder.
"I'm a big guy, I need a big bed." he said against my skin before turning me in his arms to look in my eyes.
"Oh do you plan to sleep here?"
"Now...I don't know if we'll be sleeping." he said in a fake serious voice and I felt like things were back to normal between us. I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck before nuzzling into it. He smelled like soap and the outisde and him. "When will you be done here?" he asked softly.
"I don't know." I answered, my voice muffled against his t-shirt, then pulled my head back and looked at him. "Maybe I'll throw a party when I will." I added as an afterthought.
"What about we throw a party now instead?" he asked instead, a fire in his words I knew too well.
"What to do you have in mind?" I asked in a whisper.
"This." he said and cradled my head in his big hands, tilting it back as he placed a trail of kisses against my jaw. My hands rand down his chest and then grabbed onto the cotton of his shirt while he nipped at my neck, pulling at my own shirt in the same way. 
"This is good." I smirked and then moaned when Travis's mouth sucked on my throat.
"This shirt is mine." He pointed out, slipping his hands under it to cup my chest through my bra.
"You should take it back." He pulled away to shoot me a look.
"It has paint all over it." I laughed and pulled him closer.
"Occupational hazzard." Travis pulled the tee off my body and pushed me up against the wall that I hadn't started painting yet.
"Stop talking." His hands found the front clasp on my bra impressively fast and then he was bending over to take a breast into his mouth and slowly suck, tease, nip and generally make me crazy.
"Oh yes...." I moaned and pressed my chest harder into him. He took a nipple between his teeth, tugging it, knowing I could handle the sting and that it made me even hotter for him. "More...."
"More what Lil?" He licked a trail up the valley between my breasts and then capturing my mouth with his. I took his hand and slid it down between my legs, the ache that was growing there needing friction.
"Here..." I said, in a daze from how much I wanted him, how good he smelled, how sexy he was. I could barely think straight when he was touching me.
"Here...." He trailed off, knowing exactly what I wanted but wanting me to say it instead. I squirmed in his hold, something I knew was useless but I kept trying anyways. Travis' fingers were tracing shapes on my inner thighs, never going close enough to where I needed him.
"Fu.ck me." I whispered. Travis chuckled against my neck.
"How? With my fingers?" I nodded. "My tongue?" I groaned and bucked against him. "My coc.k?" He was teasing me.
"All of it. Do all of it....please..."
"What will you do?" He asked, looking down at me and watching my face as he lifted his fingers past my shorts to slowly trace my panties, making me nearly lose my mind in frustration.
"Anything...." I hissed out. Travis rubbed against my panties so slow I thought I might die of frustration.
"That's what you always say." he said lowly.
"That's what I always do." I admitted, rocking against his hand and reaching to tug on his hair, wanting so bad to take over but knowing that it would be so worthy to let him lead.  "Please Trav." I added. He set one hand on the wall next to my head and took a step back from me. What the hell!?
"Take your shorts off." he instructed, inserting a gruff command to his tone that killed me. I bit down on my lip and did it quickly, shaking in anticipation as I set my hand on his shoulders.
"What do you want me to do?" I asked then swallowed, my eyes not once leaving his, wanting him so badly I barely knew how to handle it.
"Nothing." I growled at his answer and he slid his hand down my body so slowly. I sucked in a breath when his fingers pushed my panties aside and he finally touched me. I was soaking wet, his fingers playing with my clit as I rocked into him.  "Watch me while I take care of you baby." he groaned quietly, glancing at my face one last time before he let his eyes drop where his hand met my body and I followed them, ugh god it was so hot. He was so fucking hot.
"Travis...." My voice broke, my body was pure sensation and I was surprised that I could talk at all.
"Yes?" He smirked, though his eyes were still watching his hand. I was pretty sure at this point he knew my body better than I did and we both knew how close I was.
"Going..to..come.." I managed to get the words out and Travis groaned slightly while his thumb circled my cli.t.
"Already?" His grin widened and we both flicked our eyes back to each other. His were so full of heat it almost took my breath away and in that moment I broke, falling apart in his arms from just the softest of touches.
"Fu.ck...." I whispered, leaning my head back against the wall as I reveled in the release of my climax. His hand stopped teasing my hypersensitized cli.t and slid two fingers easily deep inside of me before I'd even come back down. "Oh yes!!!" I cried out as his fingers fuc.ked me roughly, and I bucked my hips back with just as much force.
"Damn it Lil you're so fu.cking responsive...." He groaned and used his free hand to grab on and then rip away my panties, leaving me totally naked and at his mercy. Just how I liked it...how I craved it. I looked up into his eyes, mine begging his for what I wasn't sure, I just knew I needed more. I licked my lips and Travis groaned again, a sound that would always kill me.
"On your knees.." He growled, pulling his hand away from me and leaving a wet trail against my thighs, I missed his touch, but I was desperate to touch him now. I sank to my knees easily, and they hit the plush carpet of my bedroom that still didn't have any furniture in it.
"I can't get enough of you.... I said, looking up at him as I worked his erection free as quickly as I could, grabbing a tight hold of it and pumping it in my fist, making me realize at this point? I knew his body as well as he knew mine. His hand hit the wall behind him and he groaned.
"Your mouth baby...." His words were chopped and almost as desperate as mine as I took him into my mouth slowly and then flicked my eyes up to his as I swirled my tongue around the head of his dic.k, spreading the bead of moisture that had formed there. I was so wet I could feel it on my thighs and I didn't wait for more instructions from him I just took him to the back of my throat over and over again, just the way I knew he liked. He stared down at me as I took him as deep as I could and I heard him growling as his hands tangled in my hair.
"F.uck." he held me in place and for a moment I thought I'd taste him coming into my mouth but then his hips moved back and then thrusted in again, and again, fucking my mouth as I licked the underside of his length and soaked up every sensation. He was getting close again, his eyes closing as he fisted my hair. I loved making him lose control like this. I set my hands on his knees as I kept it up moaning and basically dripping down my thighs for how turned on I was.
"Trav..." I said in a shaky voice once he pulled out of my mouth regretfully, "Don't stop." I added and licked him one more time, making him groan louder. He tugged at my hair, pulling me back and getting on his knees himself.
"I want to come inside of you. With you." he said lowly as his hands reached for my body and helped me lay back on the floor. I was so impatient, so ready as I spread my legs and leaned into him.
"Don't make me wait a second longer." I breathed out and let him adjust himself between my legs as he hovered over me. He placed his hands on either side of my head and tilted his head down as we both watched his dick slide into me in one firm thrust of his hips. Oh god I'd never get used to how good that felt. 
"I can never wait with you." he groaned, filling me completely so deep I was aching with it.

Travis sighed and stared at the ceiling, laying motionless on the floor, "You're way too young to me."
"And why am I too young this time?" I asked back as I stepped into a pair of panties, shimmying my booty into them.
"One moment you're grinding against me and the next you pull away and want gelato." he shook his head and his eyes traveled up my body to finally rest on my face. "You change your needs way too fast." I let out a chuckle and tossed his boxers in his face, "Oh shut up you old man and get dressed." I ordered while I grabbed a tote bag and stuffed a change of clothes and then headed to the bathroom for some face wash and a toothbrush.
"What are you doing?"
"If I'm sleeping at your place I need a few things. Like a pj and a toothbrush." I said as I waved it towards him. He sat up and rubbed his hands over his face, looking unreasonably sexy.
"Don't start invading my space woman." he said back which got him a glare and then me a kiss blowed towards me. Silly man. "You always use my shirts to sleep with me anyway." he added with a shrug.
"Are you getting ready or what? I want ice cream!" I protested as I slipped into a pair of shorts I used for running.
"Okay little girl, you'll get your damn ice cream and I'll have my cigarette." Trav announced when he finally stood up and got dressed himself, slapping my ass as we made it outside.
"Bad." I said from behind as he passed me and glared at him when he looked back. He reached out his hands and tangled our fingers together after lighting his cigarette. 
"Where's your bike?" I asked after a few seconds, used to seeing it when I saw him.
"Did you forget you live five minutes from me now?" he asked as he shot me an amused look.
"No. But still." I smirked and glared at his cigarette before leaning into his hard body.
"Still what?"
"Nothing." I shook my head. "I feel awesome." I admitted, grinning wide as I enjoyed the nice weather.
"Me too." Travis grinned wickedly down at me and I felt my body humming. His smile was killer.
"What are you doing this week?" I asked as we made it to his house.
"Working." He laughed. "What else?"
"I was thinking about having a girls night. Do you think Liz would want to come with?" Travis side glanced at me.
"My sister in law Liz?" I nodded.
"Yeah even mom's need to get out and have some fun." I grinned. Travis nodded.
"Probably. What will you do?"
"Go dancing, probably get shi.t faced and talk about boys." I shrugged. Travis laughed.
"And then hope that your men will drag your drunk as.ses home?" I nodded.
"Exactly."
"You should do it. Maybe I'll see if Adam wants to drop off the kids with mom and dad and come out with me and Jax the same night." I nodded.
"All three Cole men out on the town. Don't get arrested." I winked.
"Oh you'd bail me out baby." He chuckled.
"Maybe." I pulled the ice cream out of the fridge and set my bag on his couch. "My favorite." I grinned.
"I thought I was your favorite." He grinned after grabbing a beer and taking a long sip. Then He set the bottle down and pulled off his shirt as I licked the spoon clean. Ice cream was good, but he was much better.
"You definitely are..." I trailed off while I shamelessly checked him out. He was so fucking gorgeous.
"I thought so." he said back and flashed me a cocky smirk, gulping down his beer. "Let's go to bed Lil."
"Already?" I pouted, "It's early still."
"I have to wake up early tomorrow and go to work you know." he explained, stealing my ice cream.
"Hey!" I protested, getting up quickly and trying to reach for the pint of ice cream while he kept it as high as possible. "Don't steal what's mine!" Travis laughed while he handed me back the pint.
"Yours? I believe I paid for it instead."
"It's over now." I frowned after swallowing the last bite. "I don't want to wake up early tomorrow."
"What?! You always wake up when it's still night." he replied, but I was kind of exhausted from moving and painting all day. I felt like sleeping until noon. "You can sleep in if you want, I know you love my bed."
"Maybe I could get one like yours for my bedroom." I contemplated and then walked up the stairs before I turned towards him. "Then all I need is you inside and it will be perfect."
"Don't you get clingy woman." He grinned and I laughed as I turned into his bedroom.
"I think you like me all clung to you instead." I teased, getting undressed as he watched me.
"What are you doing?" he asked, his eyes roaming over my body like they always did when I was naked in front of him.
"I like the feel of your sheets on my skin." I said softly before cuddling up in his bed, stretching against the comfy mattress and sighing. "So good." Trav grinned and got rid of his own clothes, leaving a pair of boxer briefs on unfortunatley. Then again? It was a damn good view.
"I like the feel of you on my skin." He said, comming up behind me and holding me closely against him.
"Mmm. You're hot." I grinned.
"I'm trying to sleep Lil don't tell me things I already know." He said in a low amused voice and I laughed.
"Then go to sleep old man."