sing of what's lost to you

sing of what's lost to you by ssaarah 


 

 I blinked a few times when I saw Tristan leaning against the wall, a drink in hand, looking impossibly handsome albiet bored. I found my feet walking towards him before I could even stop myself. I wasn't sure what I was going to say or do once I got there.
"You know this is a party." I said the first thing that came out of my head and enjoyed the thrill when his bored glance turned into an amused grin.
"I'm aware." Damn him and that deep voice and sexy accent. At least in text messages I didn't have to hear him speak. Not that I'd gotten many of those either.
"Oh I figured you were lost." I shrugged and shot him a smirk.
"Smartas.s" Tristan replied. He'd literally said three words to me. Clearly he didn't want to chat....or you know....discuss what exactly was happening between us seeing as how we spent an entire night fucking and then an hour in his office groping. I took a deep breath and shrugged.
"At least it's also a nice as.s that you can appreciate as I walk away and leave you to stand here in the corner smoldering at everyone." I turned away but he grabbed my hand and turned be back towards him.
"Chloe-" He said my name as if he had more to say, but there was nothing else coming out of his mouth. The song changed and I nodded towards the dance floor.
"Do you want to dance?" Tristan's eyes widened.
"I don't really dance..." He trailed off and I shot him a look.
"It's a slow song Tristan it's like hugging while walking." he looked skeptical and I sighed. "Fine. Drink in the corner and ignore me some more." I said under my breath, turning to walk away again. It was for the best anyways.
"Wait," Tristan said quickly, and I turned to face him, setting my hands on my hips, wondering what would happen next. Probably nothing good. I didn't understand, the last time I was with him I was coming so hard I thought I might pass out and then...and then we remembered who we were. And it all went to shit.
"Did you change your mind?" I asked. Tristan quirked a grin and shook his head.
"Are you hungry?"
"Why?" I asked flatly. Tristan looked guilty and shrugged when he rand his hand through his hair. I fisted my hands, they were itching to be the ones in his hair instead.
"These events really aren't my thing. Do you want to go get something to eat?" Okay....what was his game now?
"Is this another date? Because you're awful at those," I said finally and grinned.
"You're right. Let's not call it a date," he smiled back at me and held his hand out in my direction and I braced myself for the impact that touching him would have on me. "Two friends having a late dinner together?"
"We're not friends Tristan," I said in a quiet tone but took his hand anyways, his were big and enveloped mine in the delicious way boys did. I didn't really care about this party anyways. As much as I liked to have fun...once you'd been to one up and coming designers big blow out? You'd pretty much been to them all.
"We could be," he replied, and I wondered if he was just humoring me as he fished his key from his pocket and pressed the button to unlock the door. I slid into his Audi, impressed. It was a trendy but smart car. If I had a car I'd want one. 
"You look gorgeous tonight."
"That's not really something friends say." I smirked and watched as he cracked a smile.
"Couldn't help it." He shot a look in my direction and I felt my stomach flip.
"Is it guilt over Ben?" I asked. "Or are you just being a typical male as.shole?" He rose a brow at me.
"What do you mean?"
"Well I know it's not the sex, because it's fantastic." I grinned and he licked his lips, nodding slowly.
"Yes it was." he agreed.
"So then what is keeping you from either telling me to fu.ck off or coming over to get off?" I asked making him laugh slightly.
"What a way with words you have." He teased.
"I'm serious. I'd get it if it was guilt...but I feel like you're being hot and cold with me. One day I'm getting half naked pictures...." I paused to shoot him a look because I had been tempted to keep that picture as my screen saver. "And the other half you totally ignore me."
"I know." He pulled over to a little restaurant that I didn't think anyone with a life knew about but me. I blinked as I looked at him.
"I love this place." I said seriously. He widened his eyes at me.
"I didn't know anyone even knew about it." He quirked a brow and I tried to hold in the laugh as he basically voiced my thoughts.
"Look. Ben doesn't approve." I sighed. "That's kind of a dealbreaker for me. Probably for you. But I do actually enjoy your company, and apparently you also have excellent taste in food, so lets be friends."
"Yeah?" He questioned, and I couldn't even tell if I saw relief or upset on his too sexy face.
"Yeah, you can teach me how to be boring and maybe I'll bring some fun into your life." I teased.
"Or maybe I'll just bore you and you'll never want to talk to me again." Tristan said, and I knew he was only half joking. I pursed my lips together and then grinned at him,
"Doubtful. You're too handsome to bore me that much." I watched as his eyes darkened and he flexed his hands and god I wondered what he was thinking.
"That's not really something friends say," he retorted finally with a way to sexy grin.
"Have you ever actually had a female friend?" I stared at him skeptically while he killed the engine.
"Yes."
"One you were attracted to," I clarified. Tristan laughed and shook his head.
"No."
"Didn't think so," I replied and hopped out of the car, not waiting for him, until I felt him next to me. Not touching me. His hands were in his damn pockets. I loved his hands. I loved how they felt on me...too bad it wasn't happening again. "I spoke to Ben." I said softly and Tristan shot me a curious look, opening his mouth to say something before a voice interrupted, the hostess greeting uss and showing us to a table. We ordered drinks and she left, leaving us alone again.
"How'd the conversation with Ben go?"
"Good I think."
"You think?" I looked back at Tristan and felt conflicted. On the one hand, I did really want to talk to someone about how I was feeling. On the other hand, we weren't that close, even if we were trying to be friends. But what the hell, oversharing was kind of my thing.
"Ben and Cami and I grew up being best friends." I started slowly, trying to process my thoughts. "It didn't even change when they got together, it was kind of us against the world. But then they had Gabe, and they broke up and...well you know how I was." I added.
"A girl I wouldn't book for anything?" He asked. I threw my napkin at him.
"Exactly." I grinned. "We went in different directions, and I know I was the one who made the bad choices most of the time. But now that I've mostly got my shi.t together I felt like Ben still saw me as the girl I was when I was trying to figure out who I was....without them."
"And now?" He asked, looking genuinely interested even though I felt like I was babbling. The waitress brought over our drinks and I sipped mine casually before speaking.
"I didn't give him enough credit." I admitted. "He does see the real me. Sometimes I just don't see it."
"What's the real you Chloe?" I widened my eyes.
"Such a deep question. Thank god this isn't a date." I smirked. "And I've talked enough about me for one night."
"What did he say about us?" He asked, ignoring my last part and I looked back into his eyes, getting fu.cking lost for a second. Was it smart to be friends with someone that I had such a crush on?
"He said he doesn't want to know anything about it. He's sad he has to look at us differently." I looked down at my hands. "I'm sorry I did that to you. I know how much Ben's friendship must mean to you and now-" I shrugged. "He'll get over it. I'll make sure he gets over it with you."
"You don't have to apologize," He said, and I knew he was probably annoyed with how much I kept doing it. But I hated that I had broken a friendship simply by acting on feelings. Strong as hell feelings. I didn't regret being with Tristan. It was easily the best sex of my life. I shrugge and played with the condensation on my glass, drawing swirls against it.
"I do... I kind of threw myself at you. I have been for years," I said finally. Tristan laughed lightly and I looked up at him as he studied my face.
"Chloe, I don't regret what happened between us. I wanted it just as bad as you did." I felt heat pooling at his words but it was still hard to believe...
"Really? I'm having trouble believing that." I admiteed. Not that he hadn't been willing once it was happening....but he wa a man after all. Tristan let out a deep breath,
"Trust me, I wanted you..." He said that in his office too. Before he stopped me from giving him the best blow job of his life.
"But you don't now?" I said slowly, deciding not to be a smartass and instead just say how I felt. "Sorry. I shoudn't have asked," I said quickly and shook my head, pulling my hair over to one side.
"You can't turn an attraction to someone on and off." Tristan said finally, the heat in his voice so strong I didn't know how either of us were keeping our hands to ourselves right now.
"Would make life easier if you could." I joked and looked back into his eyes, flashing back to the moment he looked into them as he pushed himself inside of me, deep and fast and all of him. Damn. Friends was going to be hard.
"Probably." he smiled and reached out to push my hair out of my eyes and even that simple touch did things to my body that some men couldn't achieve even when they had me naked.
"I'm not usually like that with guys..." I trailed off. "I mean I'm not shy with them but I'm usually attracted to men who come after me. I think I tried so hard with you because there was no chance."
"Clearly there was." He smirked and I felt my body flush again.
"Yeah." I bit my lip and stared at my hands before looking back at him. "Hows work?" He shrugged.
"Busy as usual. Starting the casting for fashion week in September." I smiled.
"I love fashion week. Anywhere." I admitted. "Something about being on a runway makes me feel like nothing can touch me."
"That's why you get booked." He said. "If more models had a walk like you my job would be easier."
"And yet you refused to book me for anything for years." I teased. "I could probably have gotten you fired you know. You had balls." Tristan laughed.
"I stand by what I did. And I also stand by booking you when I did. You're a great model Chloe."
"Still. Back in those days I was much more likely to pitch a fit. Lucky I found you more of a challenge than a nuisance. I'd never had an agent say no to me before. Balls of steel." I laughed as the waiter brought over appetizers and Tristan grinned at me.
"Rather that then blue balls." he teased back, making me lick my lips.
"Speaking of which. I probably owe you a blow job." Tristan's eyes widened and I smirked. "For barging into your office, ruining your day with your mother and then not reciprocating the best oral of my life." I reminded watching Tristan's face. He looked amused and it was a sexy look on him. If he wanted to model he'd make so much money.
"I don't think that's something friends say." He said slowly and I shook my head.
"Probably not. But I've never had a male friend I was attracted to either so I'm not sure on the rules." I was kidding. Mostly. But it was fun to watch him react.
"Never? I'm surprised," he smiled back at me as I shrugged. , watching as she carelessly shrugged her shoulders.
"My offer still stands," I replied, watching his face struggle to hide whatever he was feeling. Which I was guessing was hard. I licked my lips and he started to talk but stopped to flick his eyes to my mouth as I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth.
"I'll remember that," he grinned back at my mouth before he reached for his water.
"Back to being shut down," I sighed, but I was teasing. "I hate to admit it, but I liked the other Tristan better."
"You mean the naked one?" he laughed, setting his glass back down. Ugh. Yes. Fuck yes. He should be naked all the time.
"Well I'm not going to complain about that... You don't look so bad naked." Such an understatement.
"Sounds like I need to make it into the gym more often," he teased.
"You're pretty perfect just the way you are." I said honestly, knowing I was still blushing a little which was ridiculous knowing our history. What was with me around him anyways?
"That's a hell of a compliment coming from you." He admitted.
"But if you want to work out with me I won't turn it down." I added, grinning. "But I prefer running to gyms." I shrugged.
"Yeah I'm sure you were talking about going running." He laughed and I made a look of mock offense.
"What kind of girl do you think I am anyways?" I teased and Tristan leaned in.
"The kind who offered me a friendly blow job a few minutes ago?" I tried not to laugh as I licked my lips.
"That was just me trying to be fair to the both of us." Tristan nodded.
"The tabloids really don't focus on how thoughtful you are." He took a bite of food as I drank some water and leaned in.
"I bet they would if they knew my thoughtfullness revolved around blow jobs." Tristan shook his head.
"You're something."
"So is that no to going running? That's a friendly thing to do right?"
"Running sounds great. I haven't ran in a long time actually."
"Focusing more on weight lifting? It shows," I grinned and he shot me a look. "What? Those buldging -" I cut myself off with a soft laugh, "I'm going to just shut up now since everything I say around you comes out wrong." Slash dirty.
 "No please, go on. I'm reveling in all the compliments." I stuck my tongue out at him. Was he always this easy going? Was this how he was with Ben? I had to admit, a lot of my attraction to him was looks based, and the fact that....well I kind of disliked him and I thought that would translate to hot in bed. But the more I was with him? The more I realized he was just.....good. He was a good person.
"You're fun sometimes."
"Was that a compliment or an insult?" he asked, grinning wider.
"I'm not sure. Both?" I shrugged. Definitley both. Compliment because I liked to be around him and insult because if he wasn't so damn awesome  maybe I wouldn't want to jump him. All. The. Time.
"Well thank you," he said before adding, "Kind of." I grinned and set my elbows on the table, leaning in a little.
 "You're so much better looking when you smile," I said slowly.
"You're beautiful when you smile genuinely," he replied.
"Thank you." I said softly. "You know this feels more like a date than last time."
"And yet I won't be getting laid...." I rose a brow.
"Were you wanting to?" Tristan's eyes flared with heat and I felt it all over. Literally. The man could touch me without even touching me. "Because you're going to have to ditch me for that, we're just friends." I added quickly before he could turn me down again. My ego could only take so much and even if I knew we couldn't be together, it didn't stop me from wanting him more than I think I'd ever wanted anyone.
"Right." He agreed. "Friends." There was silence for a few minutes there, but the sexual tension was thick. "By the way if you're wondering what friends wear running together? It's not a tiny sports bra and tight yoga pants." I laughed.
"I'll remember that. I'm guessing it's more baggy t shirts and shorts."
"Exactly." I sighed. This sucked. I didn't want to be his friend I wanted to take him home and not leave my apartment for a month. Why couldn't he have been awful in bed? "What were you just thinking...." He trailed off.
"I was wishing you actually dated girls." I admitted, shrugging my shoulders. "Not judging of course."
".....why Chloe?" I blinked, looking at the earnest expression in his eyes. He wasn't just trying to get an ego boost, at least it didn't seem that way.
"Because I like you." I admitted finally, feeling more vulnerable with those four words than I did talking to a room full of reporters. Tristan parted his lips to speak but then closed them. He was obviously running through an inner monologue and I let him think it out patientlhy.  "You don't have to say anything," I said after a long moment. He stared at me and blinked, as though he was literally speachless. "Friends, I know."
 "I like you too Chlo." I wrinkled my nose at the nickname coming from his lips.
 "Ben calls me that." Tristan just stared at me and then we were both laughing at the silliness of the moment.
"Well that was kind of awkward," he said once we both stopped laughing.
"It doesn't have to be," I smiled back, still vulnerable but trying to be strong too.
 "In all honesty? I've never had many female friends."
"None as hot as me anyways, right?" I winked.
"I've never met a woman as hot as you, so no, definitely not," 
"Well that's just bullshi.t." I rolled my eyes and Tristan shot me a look.
"I'm not much of a bullshi.tter Chloe."
"Yeah but I've met the girls you're with. They're gorgeous." He nodded.
"I stand by what I said." I felt my whole body warm up and I shifted in my seat to try and get more comfortable.
"Thank you." I whispered softly.
"You're welcome." I took a deep breath since my body was aching to just go and sit in his lap instead of sitting here platonically. We had chemistry, that was for sure. It seemed like all the passion we put into not liking each other before....had turned to sexual tension.
"Talk about something besides us." I begged, needing the conversation to be more platonic if I was going to not go crazy. He laughed.
"How's school?" I blinked, surprised he had remembered that about me, but happy to talk about it.
"It's great." I admitted. "I'm loving my photography class, and learning about the business side of things is surprisingly interesting. Like a puzzle with money."
"I can picture you as a photographer but I'm not sure if I could picture you in an office crunching numbers." He teased and damn it if that didn't remind me of the things we had done in HIS office.
"Yeah well I still have a few years left of being a model." I shrugged.
"More than a few. Your mother booked jobs even after she had you and Ben." He pointed out.
"Yeah well not everyone is Ava Lindsell." I laughed. My mother was a force of nature and I looked up to her, but sometimes she was so perfect I felt inferior.
"You're probably the closest to her though." He pointed out. I knew that looks wise we were similar. I couldn't count how many times people compared me to my mother at photo shoots and casting or even in the press.
"On the outside maybe." I agreed. "But she managed to raise two kids, own a business, model on the side, and be a perfect wife. I can't even take care of a dog to keep me company." I sighed. "I think Ben got all the superhero genes."
"I think you underestimate yourself. Not everyone could go back to school while juggling a modeling carreer, the press, and being a great sister, aunt and friend."
"We've only been friends for about 2 hours Tristan, you don't know if I'm good at that yet." I teased, though I was flattered by my view of me. "Time to talk about you now. How did your parents like Paris? Have they been here before?"
"They've been here a handful of times," he replied, and I noticed he seemed a little uncomfortable. Weird I thought the change of topic to his family would be easier. "They love it. They're thinking of buying another home here."
"Another?" I felt my brows quirk upwards. "How many do they have?"
"This would be their fifth," he answered seriously making me double take. 5 homes? My family was well off but even Mom and Dad only had one summer home. Dad used to have an apartment in Vancouver but gave it up long ago. Money for 5 houses? That was big money. Old money. And although Tristan was sometimes a jerk? He never acted like a trust fund kid.
"Wow," I said but smiled eventually. "That's great though, right? Having them close? Even if its for a summer?" Tristan sighed. He looked a little conflicted at my question. I knew he had told me he and his father had their issues but still.
"I like them better where they are," he admitted, wincing as he said it. "Don't get me wrong, I love them, but..." he trailed off, and I started to realize just how much of a rift there was between them. I wondered if that hurt him as much as it would kill me. I loved my family. They were literally everything to me.
"I understand," I said, though I knew if his family issues were that bad? I couldn't really relate. Sure I didn't have a normal family with all the fame mine had, but I couldn't live without them, not matter how annoyed with them I might be. I felt for Tristan. I wondered who the most important people were in his life. He smiled back weakly.
"I should probably thank you for what you did in my office, because my mum has been backing off since then."
"Oh god, don't remind me. That was horrifying." I shook my head and set it in my hands.
"Horrifying?"
"That I was jealous of your mother and then she saw me in skimpy lingerie?" Tristan smirked.
"You were jealous?" I rolled my eyes.
"Shut up." Tristan laughed and I smiled at him.
"I'm surprised Chloe I figured you'd say something like "Do you want me to come to your house to get her to back off from there too." It was my turn to laugh but I felt my face blush a little too, heaven knows why.
"Friends remember?" He nodded.
"Right." He agreed and looked down at his food.
"I have a date." I said suddenly, not really knowing why I was telling him. Maybe part of me was hoping to see jealousy, maybe I wat hoping it would make me move on for him to clearly not care at all. Either way the words fell out of my mouth like puke.
"Oh?"
"Yeah." I nodded, suddenly feeling awkward about it.
"You say it as if it's a bad thing." He pointed out and I realized I had kind of said it like I was saying I had a gyno appointment. I shrugged. The truth was? I'd been asked out plenty of times in the past few weeks. By nice guys too. Apparently when I wasn't interested great men popped up out of no where. Usually only as.sholes were into me. Or in Tristan's case, not interested until I jumped him.
"It's not."
"Well then good for you." he turned back to his food. Whatever my end game had been with telling Tristan? Nothing had happened. I couldn't read him at all. Ever. Maybe that was what was so intriguing about him.
"I'm sure you have 5." I teased, knowing girls would line up for a night with him, especially if they'd seen him naked already....ugh.
"Because I'm such an awful person?" he practically spat the words at me, his eyes narrowed. What? I felt my mouth fall open at his tone and I shook my head quickly.
"I meant it as a compliment..."
 "Oh," he said flatly, almost as if dismissing the entire conversation. What the hell? He took a deep breath and shook his head, "Sorry. But to answer your question, no." I just looked at him, waiting for some more explanation.  "No dates," he clarified.
 "Okay," I said quietly, wondering where the conversation had went to this wierd place. Didn't most guys like knowing he could have any girl he wanted? 
"So who's the date with?" she smiled back at me, but it was a fake smile. "Someone from the agency?"
"Actually I met him when I picked up Gabe at camp for Cami" I said, pushing my food around with a fork. Tristan rose a brow at me.
" you're dating a camp counselor? Even I'm better than that." He teased and I laughed.
"But you won't date me." I reminded him. "Actually he's a single dad." I said finally, tearing off a piece of bread and eating it. "Do you think that will be weird?" Tristan looked at me for a few moments. I'd gotten pretty used to his pauses. It wasn't awkward silences, he was just thinking about his response. I liked that about him....plus his thinking face was smouldering sexy.
"Depends. Single dad's can be as.sholes too."
"Anyone can be an as.shole. that's not what I meant"
"You don't think it would be like dating your brother?" He asked, clearly trying not to laugh as I scrunched up my face. I hadn't even thought of that.
"Eww." I thought about it for a second. " I guess I could do a lot worse than a man like Ben though....unless he's exactly lime Ben and is still in love with baby momma"
 "Yeah," he replied, but he was looking around the room as if it would swallow him, or I would leave. I swear his mood changes were getting to me. What did I say this time?
"Do you have somewhere to be?" I asked, opening my eyes wider when he finally looked back at me.
"Polaroids to go over," he said simply with a shrug. "We're casting for Paris fashion week already."
"Oh," I nodded, because okay, that sounded legit, but it was almost 11 at night. Why ask me to dinner if he had to work?
"Are you finished?" he asked, and I waited for him to just shoo me out the door because my plate was half full. So was his. Was I that terrible of company?
"Yeah," I lied. I wasn't going to push this frienship if it was really that har for him. "Are you mad at me?" I asked, wondering if it could have been something I did and didn't even realize.
"No," he said seriously.
I reached out and grabbed his hand, curling mine around it and trying to ignore the electricity that shot up my arm when I touched him.
"What's wrong?"
"What are we doing Chloe? We're not friends." I blinked back and tried to pull my hand back but he gripped it tighter.
"I-"
"I don't want to hear about you dating. I don't play fucking games." I shook my head.
"I wasn't playing games I.....I mean I don't think I was." I admitted, knowing that once I'd said the words I'd probably had ulterior motives. But I wasn't a game player. When I wanted something I went for it, and when I thought something I usually said it.
"Then what is this?" His eyes were dialated slightly and I shook my head, having no idea.
"You were the one who asked me to dinner. I'd just wanted a dance." I reminded him, but suddenly it felt like there was no air in the room. I was pretty sure I'd never wanted a man so much. No I was positive. I was no stranger to attraction but the way I felt about Tristan? Had lasted literally years, and got stronger every second. Honestly a part of me had hoped sleeping with him would tone down my feelings. It hadn't.
"I know. I'm sorry."
"Can I ask you something? No games." He looked into my eyes and nodded.
"Shoot."
"Who was the last girl you kissed?" Tristan's face flashed with annoyance and I felt myself get super confused.
"You. Christ Chloe...." He shook his head but I ignored his attitude.
"Why though? From what I know....from what you've told me-you're always seeing more than one girl. What changed?"
"That was over a year ago," he said flatly, letting go of my hand and watching me cross my arms over my chest.
"And in a year, what has changed?" I asked again in a more stern tone. Ben had this idea of Tristan that I wasn't seeing, and I wanted him to prove me right. "You can sleep with any girl you want, kiss whoever you please, but you don't. Why not?"
"God that was almost two years ago and I still get shit from you and Ben over it all the time. Shouldn't you guys be proud of me for no longer being a manwhore?" This wasn't giving shit, this was just asking!
"That wasn't my point Tristan."
"No? Because I constantly feel like you two are throwing my past at me," he said seriously, and my small annoyance at his attitude? Was turning in to fully pissed off fast.
'I meant -"
"I stopped sleeping with them a long time ago. One was a psycho, one moved for her career in fashion, and the other is wrapped up in school. I know where you're going with this Chloe," he cut me off. "Maybe we aren't good at the whole friend thing."
"Okay. First of all? Stop lumping me in with my brother. I am not "giving you shit about your past." I have no business telling people they're being slutty." I said with a serious look back at him.
"Okay...point taken." He nodded.
"Secondly..." I took a deep breath. "I asked because I was wondering if your view on dating had changed." I admitted.
"What do you mean?" I licked my lips and played mindlessly with the hem of my dress before speaking.
"I mean you told me you didn't have time for a girlfriend. You had your girls because each of them didn't have time for a relationship but you both wanted the perks. I mean I know I teased you about it, but just because I like to tease you. Not because I judged you. You were honest with them, they were honest with you, you both got what you wanted. I think it was a great arrangement."
"But..." He trailed off.
"But." I started. "If you were changing your mind and wanting to date more exclusively....maybe we wouldn't have to pretend that all we want is to be friends." I said quickly since I knew if I didn't I'd lose my nerve.
"Chloe." he let out a breath and I recognized the look in his eyes. He looked frustrated and helpless. That wasn't the look I was hoping for.
"It's okay if you're not." I said. "I just thought....well I had to try." I shrugged.
"You said it already. The Ben thing is a dealbreaker." He ran his hands through his hair and it made me wonder if that was the only thing that was stopping him. And that made me hate my brother just a little bit.
"Okay. I understand." Tristan reached out for my hand this time, tracing it slowly with his thumb. Killing me.
"You deserve better than me," he said sincerely. People kept telling me that. I hated it.
"If Ben were more understanding and didn't care about us being together, would you go for it?"  I asked, with a weak smile, not sure I wanted to know the answer.
"Honestly? Nothing would keep me away." He said seriously looking into my eyes and killing me even more. I smiled more genuinely and flipped my hand over to tangle my fingers with his, not able to look away from his intense gaze.
"Good. Thank you, my ego really needed that." I joked, trying to put some distance in that look before I kissed him again. Tristan laughed and shook his head,
"I'm probably good for your ego instead.... you need someone to tell you no every now and then. I've seen guys following you around like they were your personal assistant when they were really your dates." It was true. Which is why I prefered jerks instead. At least they weren't fawning over me. Not a healthy response to that I knew.... I quirked a brow and leaned into the table,
"Have you been keeping your eyes on me for a while now, Mr. Williams?"
"It's hard not to," he said honestly, the connection between us feeling strong. Too strong. "When's your date with the single dad?" I blinked and let my smile fall more serious.
"If you don't want me to go, just say the word."
"You deserve to be happy Chloe," he replied, leaving it at that. But what about him? What would make him happy? Could I do it? God I wanted to. Hearing his real laugh, seeing his real smile? Meant more to me than most things.
"That wasn't what I asked." I pointed out and Tristan smirked. Tricky man thought he could avoid my questions and he was sadly mistaken.
"I know." He agreed, grinning a little wider at my obvious frustration.
"You're awful." I laughed.
"Finally. You're a little slow on sizing people up." His eyes were sparkling with amusement and the electricity between us? It was sizzling.
"I don't live too far away...I can walk home." I said softly as Tristan paid the bill. He shrugged.
"How far?"
"Like two blocks." Tristan blanched.
"Why?"
"Why what?" I asked, confused.
"Why do you live in this neighborhood? Surely you can aford to live downtown."
"Yeah, but I like my place. It has a great kitchen and the area isn't bad or anything." Tristan looked at me for a minute before speaking.
"I'll walk with you." He said finally. I nodded and let him lead me out, unfortunatley not touching me, but that was probably for the best. "You like to cook?" He asked and I turned down the street my building was on. I nodded.
"I used to watch cooking shows whenever I was home alone growing up." I admitted. "My parents don't really know where I got it from they're both miserable cooks." I laughed.
"Ben mentioned you made good food." He nodded.
"I'm shocked he said anything nice about me to you." I teased and Tristan threw me a smirk as I stopped.
"This is my place." I nodded towards the older building and stopped in front of it, looking up at Tristan.
"I can walk you up-" he started but I set my hand on his chest and shook my head.
"I won't be able to help myself from asking you to come in and it would kill me if you said no, and probably be a worse idea if you said yes." I admitted softly. Tristan swallowed and then nodded.
"Okay." he agreed breathily. I took a step closer and slid my hands up his chest, wrapping around his neck. "Chloe..." He trailed off.
"I'll be wishing you were there when I'm in bed though....." I admitted softly. "I hardly sleep at all without dreaming about the night I spent with you." I stood on my toes and kissed his cheek. I was being a tease, kind of...but it was only fair. "Night." I said finally, turning to walk away and hoping that sometime? I might just get over that man.