for all your days and nights I'm gonna be there

I closed the door of Cami's loft as quietly as I could, my eyes adjusting to the darkness as I slowly made my way towards the bathroom, using the wall on my right as guide. And support. I wasn't exactly drunk...but maybe I should have stopped a few drinks before. "Fuck." I muttered when my foot hit something that I had no idea of what it was and in that moment the light of the livingroom turned on.
"Ben?" Came Cami's voice, quiet and soft but loud enough for me to hear it.
I walked towards it, finding her sitting on the couch, eating cookies and watching her favorite show on tv. "I'm sorry." I mumbled as I squeezed my eyes, now the light being too much.
"Are you okay?" She asked and I could feel her eyes on me, studying me. I just nodded as I slumped next to her, positive that I'd spend the night there because the way to the bed seemed just too long now. "How was your night?"

"It was okay." I answered without too enthusiasm, part of me knowing that I would have probably had more fun if I had gone out with her but I also knew that I needed to go out with friends too.
She grinned at me, an amused expression on her face, "Did Tristan make you jealous again?" She asked, assuming I had been with him since he was my best friend and the person I liked the most going out with, Cami aside of course.
"I was with Sean." I answered simply and stared at the Tv, not wanting to think about Tristan or my sister or both. Sleeping together. I was perfectly aware that no one could replace the friendship I had with him though, no matter how nice or fun Sean was, he wasn't Tristan.
Cami shifted her body so that she was facing me while I wished she'd focus on her show again because I was sure I didn't look good. "How's Sean?" She asked.
I shrugged my shoulders and sighed, leaning my head against the couch and running my hands through my hair. "Good... I guess... I don't know," I shrugged again and she grinned.
"Wait here," She said even though I wouldn't go anywhere. Standing up, she bent over to press a quick kiss on my lips then made her way to the kitchen, coming back a moment later with a water and Aspirin. "Take two of these," She sat back down beside me and gave me two pills then the water.
I grumbled but listened, swallowing the pills then drinking the entire bottle of water. "Thanks," I said and leaned back against the couch once more. "I think I'll sleep here tonight."
"Sitting up?" She smirked at me, still amused. "Come to bed with me. I'll help you to our room."
"I can't do it." I protested, closing my eyes a moment then opening them again because it only felt even worse. I felt drained, as if every movement, even if it was the tiniest, costed me so f.ucking much energy.
She looked at me and faked a small pout, "Would you ever leave me sleep alone?" She asked.
I looked back at her and considered her words, my brain working so slow it was almost annoying. "No, never." I paused, wishing water could walk to me since I was thirsty but I had no intention to stand up, "Later. I can't get up right now." I said stubbornly.
She went back to her amused expression, sighing and adjusting on the couch so that she was comfortable, her body turned towards me. "I hadn't seen you so drunk in a long time." She commented.
I sighed again, feeling exhausted and on the verge of a breakdown. That was the downside of drinking, it was great at the beginning, but it only got things worse at some point. "I'm sorry." I said quietly even though I wasn't sure what I was sorry for. Maybe because I couldn't be a decent boyfriend for a couple hours, or maybe because I couldn't walk to the bed and cuddle her...I had no idea. I was confused and upset too.
Cami blinked at me and and for a moment she looked as confused as I felt, it only making me feel bad. Or maybe I was talking nonsense and didn't realize it. "Why are you sorry baby?" She asked and reached for my hand, playing with my fingers.
"I'm not sure," I shrugged my shoulders and I was tempted to tell her every thug but I knew it wouldn't be a good idea for at least two reasons. I was drunk and I still didn't want to stress her with my problems, mostly because she'd get caught between me and Chloe, still my fathers words echoed in my head. He always told everything to mom.
She frowned and set her head against the couch to keep her eyes on mine, "You have nothing to be sorry about. You're silly when you're drunk."
The smallest of smiles appeared on my lips, a little forced because I didn't want to worry her, "Is Gabe asleep?"
"I hope so," She smiled. "He's staying at his friends tonight."
"Thank god." I said as I let out a deep breath that showed the relief I was feeling. That was one less thing to worry about.
She ran her hand up and down my arm, brushing her fingertips so gently against my skin that I was tempted to fall asleep immediately. "We're you worried he was still awake and wouldn't get enough sleep?" She asked in a teasing voice.
I shook my head then thought better, because when I did it felt like someone was turning the room instead. "I didn't want him to see my drunk. I want to be a good dad for him" I said seriously since my son was my worry number one, sharing that position with Cami of course. I knew I was still young and I was allowed to have fun, I just wanted to be a good example for my son too and sometimes those things clashed together.
"But you are already." Cami said softly as she cupped my cheek tenderly, looking at me with those big dark eyes that I loved so much. I wondered why she wasn't my wife yet. I knew it was her for the rest of my life. Right now I couldn't think about a reason why I shouldn't ask her. Except for the fact that I was drunk of course.
I gave her a more genuine smile, reaching for her knee and squeezing it. "You're a perfect mom." I said as seriously as I could but I got upset all over again. It drove me crazy that I had a perfect family but those two a.ssholes had to put me in this bizarre position.
Cami leaned closer to press her lips against mine, but I wasn't as responsive as usual. Frowning, she pulled her head back and looked into my eyes, "What's wrong baby?"
I wrapped my arm loosely around his shoulder and pulled her against me, kissing her cheek as if reassuring her that nothing was wrong. "I drank a little too much... I'm fine," I said and left it at that.
"I've noticed," She grinned and looked at me again, knowing me too well not to know that something wasn't right. "Talk to me and tell me what's on your mind," She added with a more serious look.
"Right now I'm thinking about how thirsty I am," I said with a sigh.
She rolled her eyes but smiled at me, "I love you and I'm always here for you. You can tell me anything."
"I know." I said quickly because I really meant it. She had been my best friend when we were little and she still was now, I trusted her completely and I had no secrets with her. The only reason why I'd even hold things from her was because I wanted to protect her. Smirking, I dropped a hand on her thighs and gave it a squeeze. "But my mouth is so dry I don't think I can talk."
She let out a sigh that was a silly one before she stood up, "I'm going to get you some water."
"Thank you baby, you're the best." I replied, happy with her response as I kept my eyes on her. "I'll wait in the bedroom." I added.
"Are you sure you can make it to the bed?" She asked in a teasing voice but before I could say anything back she was already gone.
I didn't know if I could honestly, but I tried, getting up slowly and making a huge effort to drag myself through the hallway. I felt as if I was on the boat and the floor was floating. I would wake up with a hell of a hangover tomorrow morning. When I finally was close enough to the bed I considered just to let myself fall on the mattress then I remembered that I was still all dressed. "I think I need help." I groaned in frustration as Cami walked into the room, my shirt not wanting to come off itself.
She looked at me in amusement as she walked over me, setting the bottle of water on my bedside table in the process. "What would you do without you?"
"I'd be miserable." I answered seriously, grabbing her hips and watching her unbutton my shifty carefully. "I'm trying to get over some stuff lately but it's being hard." I added and started to open up, both because I wanted to but I also owed it to her. I couldn't keep her out of my mind for longer. "I argued with Tristan because he slept with Chloe and I fought with Chloe not just because of that but also because she said I've knocked you up and dumped you when things got too hard. I'm trying to move on, forgive and forget, but it still hurts a little."
Cami wrinkled her nose and peeled my shirt from my body, discarding it in the dirty clothes hamper, "Chloe said that? She knows better than that... that when we broke up it was mutual..." She trailed off and I was sure that she knew what I meant, we had been both there and no one had wanted to hurt the other.
I sighed again, "I know. She said that she didn't mean it, but still..."
"Oh Chloe," She sighed and moved her hands to my zipper, helping me out of my jeans without any ulterior motives for once. "Your sister loves you, but she sometimes doesn't think before she speaks."
I snorted, "You can say that again. And now Tristan thinks that he's falling for her? God save us all."
Her eyes widened, "He said that?"
I collapsed backwards on the bed wearing just my boxers, covering my hands over my eyes because the lights might be hurting them. She dimmed the lights instantly as if reading my mind and crawled onto the bed beside me, adjusting her body in my arms. "I don't know. He's confused, doesn't know what he wants."
"And what do you think about them being together?" She asked, sounding genuinely curious.
"I don't know." I muttered and rolled over onto my side, hiding my face against her neck. The thought of Tristan and Chloe together made me feel uncomfortable.
She played with my hair gently, tangling her leg with mine and taking a bunch of seconds to say more. "You do instead. Why don't you tell me?" She asked softly, the tone of her voice the same she used with Gabe. She knew how to convince her boys.
"I'm too drunk to talk about that." I tried again, as stubborn as always.
"Lies." She said back.
I let out a sigh that was borderline silly, trying to force my brain to think decently. "I think they'd be the oddest couple on earth. They're opposites and they want opposite things." I started even if it was hard to put my thoughts in words and made a sense too. "Chloe is still looking for the prince charming while Tristan doesn't believe in relationships. They'd never work together."
She looked down at me with a brow raised, it being enough for me to get that her opinion on the matter was different from mine. I was drunk but I still knew her perfectly. Maybe she saw things I couldn't see, maybe Chloe had told her things I didn't know, while I knew nothing and it was my choice. "And even if they don't? It's life baby..." She trailed off.
"If Tristan hurts Chloe I'm afraid I'd lose my friend." I admitted, because no matter how much I loved Tristan, Chloe was still my sister, one I'd always protect even if she drove me crazy and sometimes was impossible. On the other hand though, I didn't want to have to be mad at my best friend.
"And his track record with women isn't very great, so I can see why you'd have your doubts in him," Cami told me, knowing where I was coming from.
I sighed more genuinely, realizing that I was sounding like I didn't have any faith in my best friend while I did instead. "It's not that I doubt him..." I trailed off but didn't say anything more.
"Tristan doesn't want a relationship, but I'm sure that he made that clear to Chloe," She added and while I didn't doubt that I also had the feeling that Chloe was too stubborn sometimes to just accept no as an answer, not that she got many anyway. "He's your friend and she's your sister, but they're both adults. Both of them speak their mind and you're right - they're complete opposites and want different things. But sometimes opposites complete each other," She shrugged.
I processed her words and frowned, maybe she was right even though in my mind they still made no sense to me. But did I trust Cami's opinion? I did completely and probably Chloe had told her things I didn't know while I hadn't talked to neither of them. "I don't want to talk about it anymore." I said stubbornly and rolled over onto my stomach but still let my arm laying across her body.
She let out a soft chuckle, shifting on her side and running a hand through my hair while I kept my face hidden against the pillow. "Because you know I have a point."
"No it's because I'm getting a headache." I said as I turned my head, peeking one eye open and biting back a grin.
"That's what you'll have tomorrow." She said back and leaned into me to kiss my lips softly I answered to the kiss, my hand curling around her hip. I was almost forgetting about Chloe and Tristan, because every atom of me was focused on Cami. "I can't wait." I muttered against her mouth in a quiet groan.
"Are you feeling better now that you talked to me?" She asked and pulled her head back to stare into my eyes.
I nodded, "Tristan and Chloe are both adults and they're free to f.uck up." I said and grinned, making the moment lighter even if in a way, I meant it. After all it would be their drama, not mine. Or maybe they'd get married and I wouldn't have to worry anymore. That thought immediately led to another, and I had to bite my tongue not to ask her if she'd ever marry me one day.
"That's true," Cami smiled back at me, studying my expression and making me wonder how much she could read of what I was thinking. "But no matter what happens, that should be between the two of them... it shouldn't effect your relationship with either of them."
"Meh," I replied back but was still grinning the alcohol now talking for me.
She let her smile widen and she cuddled her body up against mine, "You smell like a bar and taste like scotch. I'm not sure how you made it home in one piece."
My face turned serious for a moment before I spoke again, "I took a cab."
She laughed softly and nuzzled her head against my neck, "Are you feeling sick or hungry? I can make you something if you need to eat."
"How did I found an amazing girl like you?" I asked instead, as if I was talking not only to her, but also to myself, maybe even to God.
She shot me a vaguely amused look since I wasn't answering her at all. "Do you ask that to yourself a lot?"
I nodded my head like the drunk silly man I was, keeping my eyes on him. "When I say you're too good to me, I mean it." I said seriously.
"You're scaring me. What do you want me to make you, a huge meal?" She joked as she lifted her head and leaned into me further, kissing my lips before wrinkling her nose. "Thank you baby."
I let out a deep breath, wondering how many times you could f.uck up before running out of luck. I was starting to be delirious. "I'm neither sick or hungry. I'm just still drunk." I said and rolled onto my side to nuzzle her neck, "All I need is you and cuddles. Tomorrow I'll need you, cuddles and aspirin."
"I'll leave the bottle of aspirin on your night stand for when you'll wake up," Cami told me while she inched her body towards mine, letting our legs tangle together as we adjusted our bodies to each others. She fit perfectly in my arms, always had and always would. "You're lucky I do cuddles well and can give you exactly what you need."
"Your cuddles will cure me," I replied with a smile on my lips as my eyes closed.
Seconds passed before she spoke and I just relaxed, guessing that she was still looking at me, studying me, I caught her doing that sometimes and from the way she looked at me I knew that in that moment she was making sure that everything was fine with me. It made me feel loved. "Is my drunk boyfriend going to bed before I get the chance to take advantage of him?!"
"You can have your way with me while I sleep," I replied with my eyes still closed but a smirk playing on my lips.
"I don't know how fun that would be," She laid her head against the same pillow as me, playing with my hair.
"You can't know until you try." I said and peeked one eye open, finding her with her eyes closed.
She broke into a soft chuckle, but didn't open her eyes, nuzzling further into me. "You're being silly."
"Silly, drunk, what's the difference?" I asked as I closed my eyes again, holding her closer to me. "You're my best friend." I added as an afterthought.
"Where did that come from?" She asked back.
I let my hand caress her back slowly while I thought about all the things wr had been through together, "I was thinking about how much better I feel everytime I talk to you."
"You can always talk to me baby." She answered quietly and I could hear the smile in her tone.
"Sometimes I hold things back because I don't want you to have too many thoughts..." I trailed off, trying to make her understand that if sometimes I was closed off it wasn't because I didn't trust her.
After a few seconds I felt Cami cupping my cheek with one hand and pressed her lips against mine softly, my lips parting enough for her to work her tongue into my mouth and deepen the kiss. We kept out lips together for a moment until she broke the kiss, leaving me wanting more. "You don't always have to put me first," She said eventually and my eyes opened while I raised an eyebrow. "You and Gabe are the most important things in my life and if you're ever mad or upset, then I want you to tell me. I'm always here for you."
"You always come first instead," I said back stubbornly but grinned.
She laughed and rolled her eyes playfully, nuzzling my neck again and this time pressing soft kisses against it, "I can handle a lot instead."
"I know you can, but you already handled so much for so many years...alone." I tried to explain even if it was hard, mostly when I was still under the influence of the too many drinks I got. To be honest, I didn't even know how I was still awake. "Now you have me again, I want to help."
She shot me a confused look and I had the feeling that maybe what I was saying didn't make any sense. "You've always helped me Ben, we took care of Gabe together."
I shrugged, "But I want to take care of you too now." I added.
She let out another soft laugh, running her hand up and down my chest, "Stubborn, aren't we?" She asked and I shrugged again, acting silly as I tried to keep a straight face. "We should share all our worries and fears with each other, keeping them all to yourself is not a wise decision."
I sighed this time, knowing she was right. "I have a lot of time to make up for." I said instead, the way I was replying reminding me a lot how Gabe was. I guessed that he got my stubborness.
"You already have," Cami told me, and I didn't doubt that she meant it.
I stared at her with an amused look, "Should I give up and let you spoil me then?"
"I like being spoiled instead," She grinned at me and nuzzled me more. "We're going to need a long shower in the morning..."
"You'll be able to start on spoiling me then," I smiled while my eyes closed.
"I think I started that years ago instead."
"But then you stopped." I frowned, my arms pulling her closer and holding her tight almost automatically, as if I was afraid she could disappear from my hold like she was a dream. That was the alcohol thinking.
She let me hold her, her body glued to mine, "We both stopped." She said quietly.
I let out a long sigh, thinking about all the nights I had spent alone, all the times I had left Gabe and her in her apartment and I had wished I could have stayed with them instead. "I missed you so much." I said seriously, "I've always had you in my mind, in my heart...you've always been the only one for me."
Cami looked up at me and smiled, "Is this you or the alcohol talking? Because you're going to make me tear up."
"No crying please," I laughed softly and hid my head against her neck, nuzzling it and pressing soft kisses against her skin.
A shiver ran through her as she played with my hair. "When you talk like that it makes me want to ride you until you're making a baby inside of me," She said seriously.
I pulled my head back to grin at her, knowing that that was silly and crazy in real life but in my intoxicated state I was tempted to say yes and make one million babies with her, "Have you been drinking too??"
"No," She wrinkled her nose and then grinned again, tilting her head at an angle and kissing my lips softly. "My boyfriend had a boys night and I wasn't allowed instead," She added against my lips, a smirk playing on hers.
"It wasn't a boys night." I said back as I pulled my head back just so slightly to look better into her eyes to see if she was maybe annoyed or something.
She raised one eyebrow at me, "Were there girls too?" She asked and my face dropped, because of course, no girls. For what I cared Cami could be the last girl on earth because I wasn't interested in anyone else. She had to notice my face and shot me an amused look, but I was still confused. "I'm joking."
"It was a date with Sean basically." I shrugged, since it had been the two of us all night.
"Poor Tristan." She faked a frown before breaking into a grin and kissing my cheek. "I bet he was home alone sipping whiskey and thinking about you while listening to sad love songs."
At that I laughed, because that was a seriously silly image to think about. "I'll call him tomorrow." I said eventually, deciding that maybe it was time to stop this nonsense with my best friend because I was start missing him too much.
"I think it's a good idea," Cami agreed with a small nod. "Are you sure you don't want to drunk text him?" She added with a smirk.
Another laugh escaped me, "No, I want to keep my mood a good one right now and focus on you instead."
"You should focus on my lips," She tapped a finger against her lips as she made a silly kissy face, breaking into a wide grin when I pressed my lips to hers. She moved her hand to my hair, tangling her fingers with it.
When I pulled back, I had an amused look on my face, "Were you lonely tonight? You can't keep your lips away from me."
She smirked as she wrapped her arms back around my body, "I had the apartment to myself and it was quiet.... too quiet."
"Did you miss your boys screaming while playing videogames?" I asked and smirked at her, describing something that happened quite often.
She let out a soft laugh, "I swear, when you two do that it's like you're the same age as your son."
I shrugged, my amused expression not leaving my face, "That little man keeps me young."
She laughed again, "You kill me when you're drunk."
I faked a frown, grabbing her body and holding her tight against me, "No please. What would I do without you?"
"You'd be even more exhausted," Cami faked a pout that matched mine. "And you'd miss me of course," She added when I raised an eyebrow at her.
"Of course," I smiled and nuzzled my head against her neck. "I missed you earlier."
She shook her head lightly, "Lies. You were too busy drinking with Sean."
I pulled my head back and had a look of mock hurt on my face, "I still missed you."
"I miss you always... especially during shower time," She replied with a grin, cupping my face in her hands.
I let a silly grin spread my lips, leaning into her touch as I stared at her with amusement, "Why? You can't wash your back?"
She let out a soft chuckle, "You read my mind baby." She paused to press a soft kiss on my lips, "And not only my back, I have problems with my a.ss and breasts too."
I tried to fake a serious face even though I wasn't sure if it was working. "Don't worry mon amour, I'll help you tomorrow." I said back, the thought of us in the shower enough for me to want tomorrow to come fast, "But you have to help me too."
"With what?" She asked, a wicked glint into her dark eyes.
"My p.enis." I answered and smirked like an idiot as I pressed my lips against hers.
She laughed against my mouth, "It sounds fair."
I let out a content sigh, holding her tight against me, "We have a deal baby."