my love it's very late, til morning comes, let's tessellate

my love it's very late til morning comes, let's tessellate by sassy

I opened the door of my parents house slowly, enjoying the smell of sweets filling my nostrils. It was good to be home, even if for a few days only. New York was an amazing city, but it was all about work there and I missed the rest of my life, it being my family, my friends, my kids...Lila. As I walked inside my eyes dropped on Poppy, who was all busy trying to climb the stairs, something she wasn't allowed to do. When I closed the door behind me her head snapped in my direction and she let out a loud shriek, running to me. "Hey baby." I smiled at her, bending over to catch her and pick her up, smothering her with kisses and making her giggle. "Shhh. We don't want them to hear us." I grinned at her, poking her tiny nose.
"Okay." She whispered with a huge grin on her face. She was adorable.
I adjusted her against my chest, her arm wrapping around my neck as I walked to the dining room. As I stepped inside I took in my family, they were eating the dessert of the weekly Sunday dinner. They were all there, mom and dad, Adam and his wife, Jackson and Lila...Lila? What the hell was she doing here, with my family? I froze in my tracks, staring at her as she laughed with Jackson.

"Travis!" My moms voice broke into my thoughts and I looked at her as she stood up and walked to me, "You didn't tell us you were coming!" She said, hugging me.
I hugged her back, "Surprise." I smirked as I pulled back, doing my best to ignore Lila but I could feel her eyes on me.
"Uncle Trav is here to play with me." Poppy cut in the conversation with a serious expression on her face and making it clear that she had no intention to let me go.
"That's right." I smiled at her, poking her side and making her giggle.
"You gottta eat this cake your mom made first, it's delicious." My dad told me between bites.
I walked around the table, throwing a general hi to my brothers before taking a seat next to him and adjusting Poppy on my knee. "A big slice please." I grinned up at my mom, whose was as happy as she usually was when we were all together. She lived for us, literally.
"Haven't you been eating in New York?" She asked as she cut the cake, worrying like she always did no matter if I was almost 31 now, to her I was always the little one.
"Yes, but I'm always hungry for your food." I said back but my eyes were on Lila now. She was gorgeous. And looked as if she had swallowed her tongue after seeing a ghost.
My father followed my gaze, "Oh Trav she's-"
"Lila." I cut him off, "I know her already."
Adam shot me a knowing look, then glanced at Jackson, "Interesting." He smirked.
"We-we worked together." She said quietly, faking a relaxed expression but I knew her better than that.
"Yep." I nodded, giving my attention back to Poppy who was now trying to braiding my hair before taking a bite of cake. "What did I miss here?" I asked, not referring to Lila of course. We'd cover that later, when we'd be alone...she had no chance to escape from me.
"I went to dance class!!" Poppy announced with a big smile that was so much like my brothers, only cuter since she looked a lot like Liz too.
"Were you the best dancer?" I asked, smirking as I imagined her wearing a tutu.
"No she can't even stand on her toes." Rob replied, rolling his eyes.
"Robert." His mom glared at him and Poppy turned to shoot him the exact same glare.
"I can too stupid face!!!"
"Oh yeah? Prove it!!"
Adam took his son's cake and handed it off to Jax. "If you can't be nice you don't get dessert." He said seriously, shaking his head. "See how much you missed?" He grinned at me.
"So much." I smiled and even though it was just our usual routine I had missed it anyway. "This is a damn good cake." I said under my breath making Poppy giggle and poke me.
"He said damn." She laughed I noticed Lila trying not to giggle herself, looking as adorable as my niece.
"He's naughty." Lila whispered back, shooting me a glance and then turning back to her cake.
"Lila helped me make it." Ella told me beaming at me while I shot her a look.
I thought that she had come for dinner only, but apparently she had spent with my family longer than I could imagine. Weird didn't even start covering that situation. "Did she?" I asked casually.
She shook her head, her face turning red from all the attention. "I mostly just stirred the batter." She admitted, looking beyond uncomfortable but happy too. At least my family was making up for how unhappy I was able to make her instead.
"Don't sell yourself short babe, you also picked out the egg shells you got in the bowl." Jackson teased and she tossed her napkin at him. Babe?
"Says the man who played video games while we cooked." She retorted while I just watched them, my face giving away nothing while my brain was working fast instead, imagining one million scenarios and none making sense to me.
He shrugged grinned wider. "I asked you to play."
"I didn't want you to cry when I beat you." She said back, laughing as he tossed the napkin right back at her. You didn't act like this with someone you barely knew.
"Oh get a room." Robert rolled his eyes and Lila widened hers before shooting a look at me, only making me want to get up and leave.
I looked away from her instead, not even knowing what to think at this point. She seemed to fit here perfectly, I didn't understand what was going on. Jackson hadn't told me anything and maybe that was why. It couldn't be though, he'd never do anything like that.
"I want a room too." Poppy protested as she looked at me, "Uncle Trav, do you have a room?"
My dad laughed at that and shook his head, "Kids." He sighed, looking pretty amused but I wasn't really.
"I do and you do too. It's all pink with fairies and little animals..." I trailed off, smirking at her. It was better focus on my adorable niece instead of starting fuming. I was tired, I didn't know what to think, I didn't want to think really. She furrowed her brows, then shrugged and went back to my hair. "How was the game today?"
"They lost." Jackson shook his head with a teasing smirk on his face, "What's new."
Rob rolled his eyes, then glared at his father, "Thanks to dad."
I raised one eyebrow slowly at my oldest brother, wondering how he was doing by replacing me as coach. I knew he liked it, but it was a lot to do considering he already had his work and his family. "What was wrong?"
"He's so bad." Rob shook his head before his dad could have the chance to speak, "He almost makes you look good."
"Hey." Adam pinned his son with a serious look that was pretty scary. He was a quiet sweet man, but you didn't want to mess with him. "Shut up before you say something you could regret."
"See Lila?" My mom cut in the conversation, looking at her, "Too many boys. Sometimes it drives me crazy....I'm glad you joined the girls team."
"Hey!" Liz exclaimed and mom went over and kissed her on the top of her head.
"You're on the team too honey." She replied, finally sitting down right next to her daughter in law.
"You should get extra girls points for getting a Cole to settle down." My dad winked at her, making Lila blush and making me want to groan instead. Did all of them hit their heads against a wall?
"We all know how hard that is" Mom teased him back, her eyes sparkling as she beamed at her husband.
He grinned back at her. "You have to be one hell of a woman for that." He pointed out, wiggling his brows at his wife who shook her head and blushed.
"There all done!" Poppy announced, patting my newly braided hair and clapping.
"You look gorgeous." Liz laughed, grabbing her daughter from my arms. "Do my hair now baby." She clapped again as she took her mom's dark hair and started twisting it around in her hands.
"We still going running later?" Jackson asked and it took me a few seconds to realize he was talking to Lila.
She nodded. "Of course."
"I thought you hated running." I interjected making everyone turn to us. I had definitely missed out something, nothing of this made sense to me.
"I just prefer swimming." She replied softly.
"Runs in the family." Jackson grinned. "There's still more cake right?"
"I just go with him so he doesn't get fat from all the cake." Lila joked, though I didn't see the funny side of that at all.
I looked at her with a straight face, once again wondering where this madness was coming from. Eventually, I turned to my mom and got up, "It was delicious mom." I smiled at her, kissing her cheek.
"You're not going away already, are you?" She asked and frowned a little.
Adam cut in, "Such a mom's boy." He teased, making my dad roll his eyes since he had been through that one million times. Sometimes it was as if we were kids all over again.
"You can't blame her if I'm her favorite." I teased him back, joking because there had never been such a thing in our family. We were all the same to our parents eyes and that was probably why we had never been competitive with each other, only with the rest of the world. Though that was probably mostly me too. "I need a smoke." I added.
My mom frowned again, this time more genuinely, "You should quit."
"I always tell him" Lila said then bit down on her lip, as if she didn't mean to say it out loud. Well it was a little too late for that now.
I raised one eyebrow at her for no longer than a second before breaking eye contact, "I'm a stubborn man." I commented shortly before heading outside.
"Unfortunately you can't change that." I heard my mom say as I walked out on the porch, the air a lot warmer than New York.
I leaned my back against the wall, lighting a cigarette and running a hand through my hair. I didn't even feel like this was all real, I didn't know if it was also for the jet lag, the long flight, the endless tiring hours of work...no, mostly it was a crazy situation I had never though I would have find myself into. Lila was there, just on the other side of the wall, but she was as unreachable as ever. I didn't even know where to start with her, this wasn't in my plan. I was supposed to see her on my terms, not with my family...and they loved her. Jackson mostly. What the fuck was he up to? I didn't get it. Sure I had told him to keep an eye on her, but this was just too weird.
"One penny for your thoughts." Lila's voice broke the silence of the night and I turned my head to look at her. She was beautiful.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, my words coming out mixed with smoke as I stared into her gorgeous eyes.
She crossed her arms against her chest defensively, swallowing. "I went to the game earlier then Jax invited me over so-"
"I mean now." I cut her off, since I wasn't ready to get into that conversation. Not yet. "You don't like when I smoke."
"Oh." She bit down on her lip, looking taken aback. "I don't know."
I reached for her with my free hand, pulling her against me and inhaling her deeply. Fuck I had missed her sweet scent, her silky skin, her porcelain face. The thought of her with someone else was slowly starting to kill me too. "You're coming home with me later." I said quietly against her hair, feeling her grip at the sides of my sweater. "No running."
"Come with us." Lila replied, the tone of her voice calm but yet firm, as if she was forcing herself not to argue about that.
"No." I replied simply as I put the cigarette out. More than a month without fucking her and she really expected me to go running with her and my brother? Fuck no.
She looked up and shook her head. "Why?"
I cupped her face in my hands, my fingers tangling into her hair and knowing how to convince her even though it pissed me off a little. I shouldn't have needed to convince her. "I need to be alone with you." I said quietly.
She closed her eyes and let out a breath. "You moved to New York without telling me Travis." She said finally, not in an angry way, but trying to explain.
"I had a job there." I replied.
She shook her head again. "So you couldn't have mentioned it? Hey Lil, I'm staying her indefinitley?" She pulled away from me and took a deep breath. "I'm not really mad...I just. It proved how much you don't feel for me."
"Lil..." I trailed off, not even knowing how to take what she was saying. She was wrong. One thing was not being in love with her, but I cared about her.
"I know you don't love me. But god if I was only going away for a few days I would tell you. I want to tell you everything, every little stupid thing that happens to me I want you to be a part of it. But what you did.....you can't even think we're friends." She blinked back the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes while I tried not to let that affect me. It did though.
"You didn't tell me how friendly you've gotten with my brother." I commented, the thought of being left out annoying me. I hated not knowing things, everything had to be under control, but mostly the things that were mine.
"I've always been friendly with Jax." She retorted, though now it was so much different and she knew it.
"How friendly?" I asked, wanting to hear it.
She glared at me. "I haven't even kissed a man since you." She spat back and shot me a look that told me that she was sure I hadn't been nearly as celibate as I was. She was right. "I'm in love with you Travis. That doesn't just go away in a month. Even if you were an asshole."
I pulled away from her, leaning my back against the wall again and putting a distance between us. Mad wasn't the right word to describe the way I felt, mostly I was confused. Lila had managed, no matter if by choice or not, to put me in a state I had never been before. Maybe I was just real tired and couldn't think straight. "I told you I'd be." I said eventually with a light shrug, buying myself some time to decide how to act with her. On my flight back home I had imagined it all in my head, I would have just gone and taken her, like I always did.
She shook her head, "You've never been with me. It's just an excuse, a lame one too." She spat back at me, crossing her arms against her chest again and I found myself hating that attitude I had never seen on her.
I raised one eyebrow at her, sliding my hands into the pockets of my jeans since they were itching to touch her instead. "I thought you weren't mad." I pointed out, ignoring her words completely. I wasn't even deflecting, only she was wrong.
She sighed and took a step closer to me, "I'm not. I want to understand...I want you to tell me what you think or anything really." She said softly.
"I didn't want to upset you, that's why I didn't tell you." I explained but it wasn't that all. I had thought that we needed, I needed to put a distance between us, only I hadn't known that it wouldn't have worked.
She cocked her head to the side and stared at me for a few long seconds, I could see her brain working and I just waited for whatever she was about to tell me, but I was pretty sure I wouldn't like it. "That's so stupid Travis. Either I overestimate how smart you are or you're still holding back the real reason." She retorted. Damn this girl knew how to use her mouth.
"It doesn't matter anymore, it's not like I can go back in time and change my decision." I said back as I stared at her, challenging her to keep pushing me.
"Would you?" She asked hurriedly then bit down on her lip, waiting for my answer.
"No." I shook my head, watching her roll her eyes at me. I reached for her again and again I pulled her against me, holding her tight so that she couldn't go anywhere even if she wanted to. "Can we talk about this later?" I asked seriously, looking down at her.
I saw her debating that in her head, a million expressions crossing her beautiful face as she set her hands on my chest. She'd better not dare to push me away. "When?" She asked back just as seriously.
"When we're done here." I answered simply since it was that simple to me. I didn't have any time to waste fighting or convincing her that she'd have to come with me.
"After I go running with Jax you mean." She corrected slowly.
I snorted, hating that she was still arguing about that. "No. He'll understand and you can go another time." I said in a final tone before cupping her face with one hand and gripping at her tiny waist tightly with the other before kissing her, my lips pressing hard against hers. It was as if I had been under water for a month and I was finally breathing again now.
Lila fisted my shirt, pulling herself closer, moving her mouth against mine. God yes. My hand tightened in her hair as I slid my tongue into her mouth, tasting, taking her roughly like there was no possible way to get enough. "Home. With me." I growled against her mouth, holding her tighter as my lips moved down her neck and across her jaw.
"Your home?" She breathed out, her arms wrapping around my neck as my mouth continued its path down her neck.
"Yes." I said, my voice raw with need.
"Okay." She agreed, nodding as I nipped at her collar bone. I was high. She took me so high everytime, it was like being in a burning paradise.
"God you taste fucking incredible." I took her mouth again, just as hard as I had before.
"You do..." She whispered. "Tell me you missed me."
"Lila." I growled as she pulled back to look into my eyes while alarms started ringing in my head.
"Tell me." She begged me, looking fragile and reminding me that I could break her. I didn't want to.
I pushed her hair out of her eyes and swallowed, the words not wanting to come out of my mouth.  "I missed you." I said finally, it costing me so much.
This time she was the one attacking me, pressing her lips hard against mine as she cupped my face and hauled her body into mine. "I missed you too." She whispered, even though I already knew it.
"Good." I said quietly as I pushed her hair behind her hair, finally allowing myself to smile because I knew I could stop worrying and obsessing. We'd talk about the rest I had in mind later, when we'd be in my bed after I'd fuck her senseless.
She glanced at my smile and raised one brow, "Since when that's good?" She asked, her body relaxing against mine. She was mine again.
"Since I say so." I kissed her forehead then her lips again, forcing myself to pull back. We were still at my parents after all.
"Travis-" My moms voice came from behind us and when I turned my head she looked mortified. "Sorry, I didn't know-"
"It's okay mom." I cut her off with a smile, not wanting to put her in any awkward position. It was already hard as it was to keep my life balanced. "We were about to come back inside."
She nodded her head, offering a smile to Lila and also giving her a look that made my chest clench. There was hope in her eyes and that killed me. "Poppy is looking for you. She wants to say goodnight."
"Everyone wants me." I grinned at my mom to make the moment lighter and I walked to her not before squeezing Lila's side, "Talk to Jax." I ordered then headed back inside.
"She's a very nice girl Trav." My mom said softly once no one could hear us.
I stopped in my tracks and ran my hands through my hair, "Mom, please."
She shrugged and kept walking, giving me an innocent look. "I was just saying."
I followed her into the kitchen where my adorable nephew was drinking her usual glass of milk. I stole it from her tiny hands as I grinned at her, "My favorite."
She threw her hands in the air, trying to reach it again but she was just too little. "Give it back to me! It's mine!" She protested.
I laughed as I kneeled down, levelling her. "We can share."
"No." She stuck her tongue out at me before taking her glass from my hand and drinking all her milk like the tiny animal she was.
"Can you believe he's 30?" Liz said and when I looked up at her, she was smirking at Lila who was watching me with amusement in her eyes.
She laughed and shook her head, "Right now? Not really."
"Said the baby." I shot her a grin as I lifted myself up again, wondering if she had talked to Jackson. I had no idea of how we'd get out of this house together without causing a million questions, but I knew that I wanted to go.
"Can you put me to bed uncle Travis?" Poppy asked, blinking widely at me.
I grinned and picked her up. "Are you sleeping here tonight?"
"Yeah it's a sleepover at Gamma's house!" She exclaimed. "She says we can have french toast tomorrow for breakfast!"
"Why is it never Grandpa's house?" My dad laughed as he set down his newspaper and he poked Poppy who giggled.
"Because I'm in charge." My mom grinned. "Go put Poppy to bed Trav." She said, shooing me upstairs.
I walked down the stairs, heading to the room that once had been Adam's, as I held my niece against my chest. "Are you tired baby?" I asked, looking down at her and watching her rub her eyes.
"No." She said stubbornly, like she always did, as I set her on the edge of the bed. "You have to tell me a story!"
I smirked at her, reaching for her pjs and changing her. "Which one?"
She furrowed her brows as she left me take off her socks. "The one about the fish."
"No princesses tonight?" I smiled at her, pushing the sheets down and picking her up again as she shook her head. "Do you have to pee before sleeping?"
She shook her head again and cuddled on a side when I laid her back on the bed, "No the black fish instead!" She repeated before eyeing something behind me. "Teddy!"
I turned to grab her teddy bear and gave it to her, noticing how this little girl was the only one able to boss me around. She was too cute and I couldn't say no ever. "So, there was this little fish under the sea, who was all black." I started, tucking her in before laying down next to her and caressing her hair. "He was a really cute fish but everyone made fun of him because he was black and all the others where of different colors instead."
"Meanie faces." She scrunched up her nose.
I poked it, "No talking baby." I said softly, knowing she'd never sleep if she started commenting. She talked so much for being so little. She chuckled and kept her eyes on me, but didn't say anything, waiting for me to go on instead. "This fish was very sad, because no one wanted to be his friends, so he spent a lot of time alone, swimming and seeing beautiful places, but no mattered where he went, he never could find what he really wanted. One day he met a girl, who was swimming too-" I cut myself off, when I noticed that my precious baby girl was sleeping. I bent over her, kissing her forehead softly before getting up and switching the light off.
Once I got downstairs again I saw Lila helping my mom. "You made her cook and clean?" I asked, smiling.
"I volunteered." She quipped back. "Let me talk to Jax quick."
"Uh okay." I shrugged, leaning my ass again the kitchen counter and turning my head to my mom in favor of ignoring everyone's eyes on me. Thing was, this was so unlikely me. I never brought my business home, And neither did Jax. This situation was confusing for my family and since I had no idea of how to clear the air I decided to ignore it all...things would go back to normal naturally. "Do you need some help?"
"No thanks, Lila helped me already." She answered sweetly with a smile, wiping her hands on her apron before taking it off.
"She's a nice girl." My dad said casually, his eyes still on the newspaper while mine were on Adam who was staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face.
"That she is." He agreed with a slow nod before his lips turned up into a smirk, "Hot too."
Liz hit his arm and glared at him, "Drop it." She said seriously, showing everyone why she was his wife. Adam was a strong man and she was a strong woman, the only one ale to shut him.
"I was just saying." He shrugged as he threw his arm around her, squeezing her against his side, "Lets go home baby."
"I'm going too." I announced, seeing that as a great occasion to sneak out before I could get more comments about my eleven.
My mom frowned, making me feel bad, "Already? It's early Trav, we haven't seen you in a month!" She protested.
"He's a man Ella, stop treating him like a kid." My dad teased her with a smirk. He knew he'd pay for that later but he didn't care, he just loved teasing her and making up for that too.
She ignored him completely and hugged me instead, "Come to dinner tomorrow night, okay?" She asked as she pulled back.
"Okay mom. Night." I kissed her cheek before patting my dad's shoulder on the way out, "Dad." I smirked at him and headed out the house, feeling Liz and Adam behind me.
"What's going on with that girl?" My brother asked me once we were outside.
I set another cigarette between my lips as I leaned against my bike, "Come out with me and Jax tomorrow night and I'll tell you." I smirked at him, knowing he'd find an excuse. He was a dad though, he had more important things to do than dealing with our nonsense.
"You just said you'd have dinner with mom and dad." He pointed out.
"After that." I clarified and looked at Liz, "Can he come? Please?" I smirked.
She laughed lightly and leaned into me to kiss my cheek, "I'll try to convince him to leave us alone for a night." She grinned back at me, taking Adams hand, "Night Trav."
"Night guys. Say hi to Rob too whenever he pops out again." I smiled at them and watched them walk away. They were just like my parents, madly in love. I took a long drag of my cigarette, my attention now on Jax and Lila as they walked out the house too. I was no good reading people, but they seemed close. I still didn't know what to think about it, but I trusted my brother. "Can I have my eleven back?"
Jax smirked at me, then at her, "Please. She's hard to babysit."
Lila hit his arm and pouted, "Since when you're on his side?" She asked playfully.
"Since always." I answered for my brother as I offered her a helmet, "Drinks tomorrow night Jax?"
"Definitley."
"Adam's coming too."
Jax raised a brow, looking as skeptical as I was. "Cool." He turned and pointed towards Lila. "Running, noon tomorrow."
She nodded. "I promise."
I stiffened against her as I ran my hand through my hair, wondering why she was making plans with my brother when she could be with me instead. Her loss. Also I doubted she'd even be able to walk. "Let's go." I said shortly as I threw my leg over my bike and started the engine before wearing my helmet.
"I'm coming." She grinned, hopping onto the bike behind me and wrapping her arms around my waist. "Drive safe." She whispered before laughing when I shook my head and pulled off, speeding through the neighboorhood that was only about ten minutes away from my house.
Once there she handed me back the helmet when I parked in the driveway and I just quickly hung it next to mine before grabbing her hand and leading her inside. I was getting so impatient it was unbearable. As soon as the door was shut she was pressed against it, my hands sliding up her stomach to cup her breasts through her shirt, my eyes fiery and a growl coming from my throat. "Naked. You need to be naked." I ordered, not wanting to waste a second longer.
She grinned and slid her hands up so I could pull her shirt over her head. "Oh? For what?" She asked, trying to keep an innocent face but failing miserably.
"Lila." I shot her a glare, telling her not to mess with me right now but she wasn't wise enough apparently.
"Is this where you make up for being the worlds biggest jerk?" She asked, folding her arms over her chest.
"Excuse me?" I asked, more than ready to start fighting if she wanted to bring up that now with the worst timing ever.
She let her head fall back against the door and she cupped herown breasts, kneading them through her bra. "You should get naked too, I need extra good visuals to revisit when you leave with no notice again."
I narrowed my eyes at her but pulled my shirt over my head. "I'm humouring you now Lila but don't push me much further." My voice was low and serious but that had no effect on her.
She looped her fingers into my belt loops and tugged me closer, leaning in to my body. "Or what?" She whispered, playing with fire. She'd get burned, she was burning already.
"Or." I paused, reaching for her wrists and pinning them above her head as I pressed my body hard against hers, "I'll tease you to no end. I'll push you to the edge, but you'll never come."
"Bulls.hit." She retorted and even though I could see her struggling to keep a straight face I knew that my words were affecting her already. "You'll want to come too at some point."
I let a wide smirk play on my lips as I dropped my eyes on her mouth, "I have plenty of ways in mind to cum without you."
"Like what?" She asked in a breathy tone, her body arching into mine already. She had chosen the wrong person to play this game with.
"I could tie you and f.uck this pretty mouth." I started, sucking on the corner of her mouth before moving my own down her neck and then to her chest, where my teeth captured the lace of her bra to tug it down and expose her breast. "I could cum on these perfect t.its." I went on as I licked her already hard nip, making her moan softly, "Or..." I trailed off, looking up at her naughtly as I used one of my hands to cup her a.ss through her stupid jeans.
"Just f.uck me already Trav." She breathed out, her voice oozing frustration, need and desire.
I smirked as I straightened myself up, pressing my hips and my erection against her, "Already? I thought you wanted to play." I said between my clenched teeth, staring at her and starting to feel that familiar sensation of being high on her. It was so powerful, every f.ucking time.
She shook her head, "I need you." She begged, wriggling in my hold and trying to get rid of my hand on her wrists, her eyes boring into mine and burning with lust. And love.
I let go of her wrists and unzipped her jeans, pushing them down her legs roughly as I kept my eyes on her. "Oh do you now? Didn't you want to go running?" I asked, my voice coming out different than I though it would. I sounded mad. I was mad, or at least a part of me was and I could see why. She was my eleven and no one, not even my brother, had to come between us for any reason. I found myself wanting to be her first choice always, her priority, and it was both empowering and terrifying.
"Travis." She stared down at me with an unreadable expression on her face, taking her shoes off and stepping out of her jeans then gasping when I ripped her panties off almost with fury. She made me lose my f.ucking mind.
I closed my eyes a moment as I tried to control myself, unbuttoning my jeans and pushing them down along with my boxers before I picked her up. "You're mine." I growled as I entered her forcefully, pressing her hard against the door and pushing until I was balls deep inside of her. I barely felt her fingers sinking into my shoulders, but I heard her loud cry of pleasure. "Mine." I repeated, pulling out only to slam back inside even harder, the feeling overwhelming and so fucking epic.
"Travis!" Lila gasped as I pushed inside of her again, her back slamming into the door and making her cry out and beg for more.
I didn't know if it was only a feeling, but it seemed to me that I had naver been this rough with her. Sure I had been impatient and not really gentle but this felt like a whole other level. The urge of having her was making me crazy. "You're so fucking perfect...." I growled, grabbing her hair and pulling it back to expose her neck. My mouth moved from her jaw to her ear, tugging and then sinking my teeth into her neck as I sank inside of me again and again.
"I want to be yours Travis....please make me yours..." She tightened her legs around my waist and pulled me into her with her hands, moving her hips with mine as she kissed my lips hard. She was fearless, pouring her feelings into the kiss and showing me that she was giving herself to me no matter what I could do to her.
"Fu.ck Lila...." My hands grabbed her as.s as I held myself inside of her, stretching her to the point I was afraid it was too much. Then again, there wasn't such a thing as too much or enough for us.
"You feel incredible.....so big....oh my god." She moaned.
"Better than running?" I stared at her with my jaw set as I kept pumping inside of her at a steady pace.
She blinked, cupping my face in her hands. "I love you Travis. You."
I listened to her words like I always did, but this time something was different because even though I still knew it was bad I was almost getting used to it. Things wouldn't change just because I was temporarily living in another city, she'd still be there for me. Mine. I swallowed and thrust hard into her again. "You shouldn't." I buried my head in her neck, still feeling guilty because I was being selfish again, but not letting that distract me from fucking her.
"I always will."
"You don't know what you're talking about." I muttered against her skin, squeezing her a.ss tighter in my hands as I pushed inside of her deeper.
I felt her hands making fists in my hair as a loud cry escaped her mouth. "Travis!" It was only a word, my name, but it was so heavy.
Swallowing again, I forced myself to pull my head back to look at her, finding her face twisted in pleasure. It killed me, there was a lot more than just pleasure. "I'm here...I'm here Lil, come with me." I breathed out, staring into her eyes and picking a faster pace. Her hands moved down my shoulders and to my biceps as she bit down on her lip, I could see she was holding back but I could also feel her tightening impossibly around my d.ick. "Christ Lil." I groaned.
She broke eye contact for a moment in favor of looking down where our bodies met and when she looked back up at me her eyes were wide, but a second later they shut tight and she started coming hard. "Oh my god!" She screamed, her whole body tensing in my hold, her heels pressing against my a.ss and her nails sinking into my skin.
My own orgasm hit me as I felt her go liquid around me, it being so intense I was seeing stars and I was having trouble thinking, for a moment I lost contact with reality and just got lost. I kept moving inside of her until we were both spent and I let her go limp in my hold, her arms wrapping lazily around my neck as she set her head on my shoulder. "Good god..." I trailed off, struggling to breathe normally again.
"Always." She muttered then pressed a light kiss on my neck, taking her time to recover but still keeping herself wrapped around me.
I finally pulled her away from the door, stepping out of my jeans and boxers that were still around my ankles, and carried her upstairs, straight to my bedroom. There was where I wanted her to be, in my bed. "You're not too tired, right?" I asked in a low voice, sliding out of her before setting her in the middle of my bed. As I waited for her answer I watched her, her pink skin was glistening, her eyes shining, she looked even more beautiful than usual.
She adjusted herself on one side, shaking her head and looking at me with a big smile on her face. She was happy, it was so evident. "No." She said simply and I knew I was going to risk it all, but I had to do it.
"Lila." I started, laying down next to her and pushing her hair off her face as I thought about her words. She hadn't been with any other man after me. I wanted it to keep being that way. I took a moment, staring into her eyes as my hand traced her jaw. "I want you to be mine." I said eventually. It was all wrong, but I had to do it. I had to.
"Yes. You say that a lot." Lila smirked and rolled her eyes, while my hands rolled into fists. I had said that before, that was true, but I had been inside of her so it didn't really count. She cuddled into my mattress and sighed. "When's round two?" She asked, making it about sex and not about us.
"No. I mean." I sighed and ran my hands through my hair, giving it another try even though I didn't know how to express myself. "I don't want you to date other men or anything."
She rose a brow at me. "Why?" She pressed, my annoyance turning into something more.
I glared and sat up. "Because you're mine!" I growled, not knowing how else to phrase it and feeling frustrated.
She wrapped her arms around my waist from behind me and kissed my neck softly. "I'm confused." She admitted.
I turned around and pulled her into my lap, making her smirk and rock into me though it wasn't what I wanted. "Fuck stop Lil I'm being serious."
She sighed. "I'm not going to date anyone else Travis, that wouldn't be fair to them. I don't want to lead anyone on. Someday I'll get over you." She winked, making a fucking joke out of it.
I groaned, tempted to give up. "I won't either." I said finally, looking into her eyes and hoping she'd get what I wanted to say even without words. "Date other girls."
She widened her eyes. "Do you date other girls now?" She teased, acting like an idiot.
"Lila!" I groaned, I was mad now.
She took a deep breath. "Travis....I'm confused, I don't know what you're asking me. To be your backup plan? I'm not going to wait for forever...eventually I'll move on."
I pulled away from her, putting a distance between us because I couldn't trust myself around her when I was angry. "Do whatever you want to do." I spat and got up from my bed, reaching for a pair of sweats and wearing them in the process before looking for my box of cigarettes.
"Travis." She said quietly from behind me.
I didn't even bother to look at her and set a cigarette between my lips as I opened the door that lead to the terrace. "Don't wait, get over me and move on, but do it without me." I said then stepped out, smoking and fighting the urge to smash my fist against a wall. What was I expecting? She was a baby and I was making a mistake. She couldn't even take me seriously.
"Is that what you want?" Came her voice from my room, small and low.
I turned around to find her sitting on the edge of my bed, her body wrapped up in my sheets and a sad expression on her face. She said she was confused, but I didn't understand her at all instead. "What do you want Lila? What do you expect? That one day I'll turn into a f.ucking prince from a fairy tale and drop myself at your knees?" I retorted, my anger making me unfair to her but that was how I was.
She crossed her arms against her chest and narrowed her eyes on me, "That's ridiculous, I'm not 10 anymore you know."
"What the f.uck do you want from me Lila?" I asked again, my question coming out with smoke, my words hard.
"Some kind of explanation!" She sighed and ran her hand through her hair, biting down on her lip and looking away as if she was collecting her words. "I feel like you're jerking me around Trav, everything was fine before you left but then you left without telling me a word...and now you come back and..." She trailed off, swallowing when she looked back at me. "I just want you Travis."
"No you don't." I shook my head as I took a deep breath, "You don't trust me, you don't take me seriously. You're just waiting for me to get rid of you."
She opened her mouth then closed it again, her face impossible to read. "You're being unfair."
"No, I'm just saying the truth." I said bitterly as I put my cigarette out, puffing my last drag of smoke out of the corner of my mouth. "I tried to tell you that I want you, that I can try to be better for you and you almost laughed in my face."
"I didn't." She spat back.
"You could have as well." I snorted then ran my hands through my hair, "Forget it. Round two." I said as I walked back inside my bedroom, closing myself off again and wanting to keep it that way.
"Not yet." Lila shook hwe head and slid hwe hands up my stomach slowly. "You're right, I don't take us seriously because you tell me we're nothing over and over. I am waiting for you to get rid of me." She explained and I listened carefully. "But that's because that's the impression you've given me.....don't you understand?"
I sighed and then set my forhead against hers. I understood perfectly, she was the one who didn't understand. "I'm not good enough for you." I said softly, for a moment wishing she'd take everything back.
"I don't want anyone else. Are you being serious? Do you want to be with me?"
I pursed my lips, her question an heavy one, but then again I knew that if I'd let her go I'd only end up going to take her back. "I don't say things I don't mean." I replied.
"Are you going back to New York?" She asked point blank.
"Only for one month to finish up my project." I answered, waiting for her to go on.
She nodded. "So....we'd be together." She said eventually and I shrugged, fighting the urge to groan or roll my eyes since I didn't want to put a label to what we were. It was just a word, we knew what we had without any. She folded her arms over her chest, looking like a baby who was about to throw a tantrum. "You'd have to tell your family we're dating."
"Lil." I growled, wanting to just get up an run instead because she was pushing it and I hated that, I hated that feeling.
She shot me a look. "I'm serious. They're confused enough as it is and I like them too much to let them think....well anything bad about me."
I sighed, knowing I had no other choice but panicking a little inside. If things ended badly she'd regret that decision more than my family would. "Fine. I'll tell them we're together."
Her lips curved into a real smile, a wide gorgeous one that made me feel a little better. "If I'm yours it means you're mine." She pointed out and I grumbled but forced a small smirk. I had to try.
"Don't make me regret that." I replied finally, voicing my thoughts but still feeling a heavy weight on my chest.
"You're serious?" She asked.
"...I need you." I said instead of answering, being honest because at this point I thought I really needed her in my life, even if it was at her conditions.
"Okay." She grinned. "I'm yours then." She reached up and kissed my lips before pulling back. "But I don't want you to change.....I still want you to be grumpy in the mornings and moody. You still have to tease me and be rough with me. I just want you. No one else."
I set my hands on her hips as I pushed her away slightly, taking a deep breath because this was being too much for me. I couldn't even remember the last time I had been dealing with so many feelings, so much responsibility...I could only hope I wasn't making a mistake. But then again, I didn't want Lila to end up in someone else's bed and, last month aside, we already spent time together so what was the big change really? I only had to stop sleeping around basically. "I want you to understand one thing Lil, a really important one." I started, knowing I had to make things clear now before it could get messy later. The chances of failing were already high enough.
"Tell me." She smiled and looped her arms around my neck, lifting herself on the tip of her toes to press her lips against mine softly. She was...glowing. I felt both pressured and relieved, it was weird.
I stared into her eyes, a serious expression on my face because was was about to say was really important. "Nothing will change, I won't change. Don't expect this to make some magic...everything will be like it has always been between us."
She nodded, still smiling. "Except for you're mine." She whispered softly, tracing my jaw with her index finger, "The rest was perfect already."
"I don't know about perfect." I sighed, thinking about what we had been through already. As I thought about it, I raised one eyebrow. "What's going on between you and my brother?" I asked and sat down on the bed, adjusting her on my lap. I trusted him, but I still wanted to know.
"We're friends."
"How?" I rose a brow because my brother didn't really have female friends, even if he was a really nice man. He usually ended up fucking them though.
Lila smirked. "Do you not think I'm good enough to be friends with your brother?" she asked, faking hurt, but failing because she was smiling.
"Hilarious Lila." I shook my head, ready to give up already since today she couldn't take me seriously apparently.
She laughed. "He's nice! We get along." She answered honestly, looking genuinely happy about that and that was when it hit me. My brother was a lot like her in a way, a lot more her type too.
I licked my lips, needing to ask one question. "You aren't attracted to him?"
She blinked, looking taken aback. "Of course I am, I'm not blind." She admitted, before pressing her lips against mine. "But not in the way I'm attracted to you." She whispered against my mouth.
"You'd be with him if he met you first." I pointed out, because I could easily imagine that in my mind. The way they had been with each other at my parents said a lot.
She licked her lips. "We might have dated, yeah. But he would have been like every other guy for me. I only fall for grumps." She grinned at me and watched as the corners of my mouth tilted upwards. She was mine now anyway. "Plus he tells me all your childhood secrets and I love that."
I laughed at that. "He knows better."
"I watched a video of you as a baby." She replied, trying not to laugh. "Jax had stolen your toy and you were stomping around the house like a bear. Always my grumpy Trav." She smiled as she leaned in and pressed kisses against my neck as I chuckled while a new fear got ahold of me.
"Are you going to tell your family?" I asked softly, my arms wrapping tighter around her waist and my fingers crossing.
"Nah, what they don't know won't kill them."
I let out the breath I hadn't realized I had been holding, glad that I hadn't had to tell her that I wouldn't have let that happen anyway. "Good." I said simply.
She looked at me for a long second as she pulled her head back before cocking it to a side, her hair cascading over her shoulder. "Good? What does that mean?" She asked slowly.
"It means that there's no need for me to meet your family. I know Colbie and that's enough." I answered with a shrug, hoping she'd drop it or we'd start arguing again. If it was going to be always like this? I'd be a disaster. I wanted to start with the right foot instead.
"Okay." She nodded, biting down on her lip and that usually meant that she was holding back. It suprised me how good I was becoming at reading her, even though she was still a mistery to me for the most part. "When will you leave for New York again?"
I tangled my hand into her hair, just looking at her and enjoying the view, "The day after tomorrow."
"What do you do tomorrow?" She asked, doing a thing that every woman do. They asked one million questions to have informations so that they can plan in their head what to do, when it'd be simpler to just say it.
I moved my hand down her back then laid my back down on the bed again, while she adjusted herself on my lap, looking down at me. "I plan on sleeping all day." I smirked at her and while the thought sounded like a dream, I knew I couldn't do that, but I wanted to see her reaction anyway.
She opened her mouth and closed it several times before finally speaking and even when she did I could see she wasn't sure. "Does it mean I won't see you?"
I shrugged, "You have to go running with my brother anyway." I pointed out nonchalantly.
This time she rolled her eyes but laid down on top of me, "That's just a small part of the day. You're leaving for another month and I-" She started, but I cut her off.
"I know." I kissed her lips and kept mine pressed against hers until I saw in her eyes that she was ready to listen to me, my arm wrapping around her tiny body and keeping her against my chest in the meanwhile, "I'm not really going to sleep all day, I have a few errands to run and I'll spend the night with my brothers. But you'll see me for the rest of time."
"You don't have to." Lila shrugged and kissed me. "I'm sure Jax will hang out with me if you're busy." She smirked.
I rolled on top of her, wanting her to stop talking and start moaning. "That's never going to work cutie, I'm not a jealous man."
She laughed and let her eyes follow her hands as they slid up my chest. "I'm not usually a jealous girl either, but forgive me if I make a mistake every now and then." I looked down at her and gave me a smile, running my thumb down her cheek. She was so young and took everything so lightly yet so seriously. "I'll try."
"So about this round two." She grinned and wrapped her arms around my neck. "We should probably do something special....to celebrate." She wiggled her brows at me.
"If your idea of celebrating involves you naked then I can't find something to complain about." I replied, making her grin wider.
"....that isn't how everyone celebrates?" She asked, making me wish we could spend all morning celebrating too. I wanted to do so many things to her.
"They would if they could." I leaned down and nipped at her neck, starting a trail across her collar bone and inhaling her scent. As long as I focused on her body, everything was fine.
"What changed your mind anyways?" She blurted out, making me want to slap myself.
I smirked at her, trying to distract her. "What do you mean?"
She sighed. "I mean I'm sure you still think I'm too young, you don't want anything to change between us, I'm guessing you're not going to be thinking of yourself as my boyfriend or anything. So why give up other girls just to have me? I mean besides the fact that I rock your world every time you touch me." She added, biting down on her lower lip as she smirked at me.
I went back to take care of her neck, both because it was better than talking and I was too afraid that my face would give me away if I looked at her. "No other reasons beside that." I muttered against her skin, kissing and sucking as my hands gripped her hips and I pushed mine against hers.
She arched her body against me, a soft moan escaping her throat. "Tell me." She whispered softly as her hand tangled in my hair and she tilted her head back to give me more access to her sinful skin.
"What do you want me to tell you." I said before licking my way to her ear where I nibbled at her lobe, getting harder and harder just for how sweet she smelt.
"Why me? Why now?" She breathed out, obviously distracted by all the attentions I was giving her.
This time I didn't worry about her questions since I was deflecting in the best possible way. Sure I could have told her that I didn't have all the answers, or that I had no idea, or that it didn't really matter. Instead I pushed the sheets down her body, exposing her pink porcelain skin and realizing that it was all mine. Looking into her eyes I pushed my sweats down and adjusted my erection at her entrance, ready to get lost into her again. "Because you're my eleven."