as long as I am with you, there's no place I'd rather be

as long as I am with you, there's no place I'd rather be by sassy

"Maman!!" Gabe's voice broke the silence as he skidded into the kitchen, widening his eyes when he saw all the plates on the dining table holding his favorite dishes and sides while I followed him. "Is it my birthday?" He asked, pulling his wide eyes from the food to look at Cami.
"Don't you know your own birthday, silly man?" I asked, walking in behind our son and setting my hands on his tiny shoulders. My eyes flicked from the top of Gabe's head to the food, and then over to hers where I lifted an eyebrow at her. "What's the special occasion?"
"I just wanted to make dinner for my favorite boys," She replied and smiled, untying the apron she was wearing and setting it on the counter. "Would you like some wine?"
Gabe scrunched his nose and then grinned at her, "Yes please!"
"Not you," She laughed and grabbed a bottle of red wine from off the counter, carrying it over to the table and sitting down.

He sulked over to the table and sat down across from her, leaving the head of the table for me. "I want wine instead of water," He mumbled under his breath, currently going through the stage where he wanted to drink anything but water.
Cami sighed and shook her head before smiling at me and watching me sit down, "Water or wine?"
"Wine," I responded and Gabe made another grumble.
"No fair," He said, reaching for his glass of water and taking a sip.
"Water is good for you," I told him while she leaned over and poured the red liquid into my glass. It felt like a normal night, like the one normal family had, and I loved it.
"But it tastes like nothing!" Gabe retorted, setting a fist on the table. He wasn't in a rebellious stage exactly, but he wanted to eat sweets all the time and if he knew something was healthy? He didn't want it.
"It tastes like water." I said back with a smirk on my face, part of me amused that lately no matter what we said, he disagreed always. Of course the other part of me was starting to worry already, because he was still little and if he started arguing with us now? We'd have many long years to go through. He was only six after all.
He glanced at his mom, who was looking at him with a brow slightly raised, then looked at my glass. "If it's so good then why are you drinking wine?" He asked stubbornly, always ready to prove his point. He got that from Cami, no doubts about that.
I sighed as I grabbed my glass and pushed it towards him. "Taste it with your pinky." I said quietly.
Cami shot me a weird look, but when our son glanced at her for her approval she just shrugged, "You heard your papa stubborn baby."
Gabe did as told, dipping his finger into the red wine before taking it to his mouth. The look on his face when he licked it was priceless. "Ew." He scrunched up his nose and shut his eyes, "It tastes bad." He said before grabbing his own glass and downing all the water in it.
Cami laughed, looking for the first time relaxed in all day. Our life had slowly turned into a routine, a new one that we shared and it was amazing, but let our small man out of it was stressing us both. "Do you believe us now?" She asked as she smirked widely, reaching for the food and serving it to us.
He nodded, his eyes on the tartiflette his mom was giving him. "I want a lot maman!" He exclaimed and grabbed his fork, looking famished and as if he had forgotten the whole wine thing already.
"I want a lot too maman." I smirked at Cami, looking at her and feeling so in love that I could explode. I couldn't wait for the next step, for all the steps we'd take actually, but we couldn't take none until we wouldn't tell Gabe what was really going on and the longer we waited, the harder it was to find the right words. It was a vicious circle we needed to break.
Cami kept staring at me and bite into her lip when blushed, tearing her gaze from mine and focusing on the food once more. "How was everyone's day?" She asked, breaking out of her daze and looking back and forth between us, her happiness showing on her face.
"Isabel kissed me," Gabe blurted out and when we both looked at him, his face was bunched up. "I hated it," He added before digging into his food.
"Is Isabel your girlfriend?" I asked with a grin, Gabe rolling his eyes and acting too cool for this conversation.
"No!!" He shook his head finally. "She's a girl and I hate her."
Cami laughed, while I thought that we were about Gabe's age when we started liking each other. "I'm a girl," She told him seriously.
His eyes flicked up to meet hers and he scrunched his nose again, "You're a maman instead."
She laughed again and watched me run a hand through Gabe's hair, messing it up so it looked similar to my own. "There's no rush little guy. You don't have to like girls yet," I told our son and then reached for a forkful of food, chewing in silence.
Gabe considered this for a moment and then looked up at me, "Do you have a girlfriend?"
I opened my mouth, then closed it again, because I was about to say no. It would have been a lot easier, but truth was, I had a girlfriend and since she was his mom I couldn't lie to him. "I do." I said eventually and smiled.
He looked half suprised and half disgusted, his eyes wide and his mouth too. "Really?" He blinked at me, then looked at Cami, "Maman did you know?"
I eyed my girlfriend, watching her blush furiously while she tried to act cool instead. Thank god we were both in this situation. "Yes I did." She answered then glanced at Gabe's plate, "Eat before it gets cold."
He did as told, silence falling in the room as Cami and I stared at each other and in that moment I really wished we could read each other's mind. "Maman, do you have a boyfriend?" He asked after swallowing a bite of food.
I did my best not to laugh for the way he was being so open about the subject, or maybe I was freaking out, but took a long sip of wine anyway as I waited for Cami's answer. Too bad she just nodded, so our son's attention went back to me. Great. "Do you know him?" He asked.
"I'm her boyfriend." I answered simply, looking straight into his eyes and ready for his reaction no matter what it'd be. I reached for Cami's hand, feeling as if my heart was in my throat, "And she's my girlfriend."
His little eyes studied us while his expression remained blank, as if he wasn't quite sure what I was telling him. Eventually, he nodded his head and picked up his fork again. "Okay," He said quietly.
Cami looked at me and lifted an eyebrow, while I wondered why we had just been okay'd by our soon. His reaction was nonexistent and it wasn't normal for sure. He had to be thinking something, only he was leaving us out. "Okay?" She repeated his word.
I gave her hand a squeeze and we both kept looking at Gabe, "Are you okay with that?"
He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, the look on his face replaced with a more confused one. "You're my maman and you're my papa, you should be married instead like all of my other friends mamans and papas," He said more seriously this time. "Are you going to get married?"
Cami cracked a smile, "Eventually. Would you like that?"
"Does it mean we'll all live together in one house?" He asked instead, our words finally sinking in.
I let my eyes bounce between the two loves of my life, not knowing where to start really. Gabe needed an answer but Cami had just said we'd get married eventually and that was the kind of news that took a while to process. It was mostly unexpected. When I realized that both my son and his mom were waiting for me to talk I broke out of my daze and smiled. "We will soon. Actually, maman and I are already looking for one."
He furrowed his brows once again, staring at me, and I swear that was the scariest look you could get from your kid. "But you aren't married yet." He pointed out, making me want to cringe.
"You don't need to be married to live together." I explained quietly, keeping my eyes on him and waiting for what felt like forever. When he didn't say anything, I let go of Cami's hand in favor of using it to ruffle his hair, "What are you thinking about little man? Do you like the idea?"
He shrugged nonchalantly once again, once again acting like nothing was touching him. It made me worry, because Gabe usually had pretty evident reactions, both good or bad, but they were aways clear. "I do but can I keep my old bed?" He asked, staring eating again while I wondered which one he was talking about. He had two of everything, since we had forced him to go back and forth between our apartments...no wonder why he was confused now.
"You can keep everything you want baby." Cami said softly, both of us too focused on our son to eat instead.
"How do you want your room to be?" I asked as I glanced at my girlfriend, looking for support since I had no idea of what we were doing and how we were supposed to handle this. Being a parents was so hard sometimes.
Gabe scrunched his nose and kept chewing while Cami took a bite of salad. "I want to paint on the wall," He said after swallowing, referring to the mural he had done together with his mom in his room at her place. "But I want my posters too," He added with a lost expression finding his face.
She nodded her head and smiled with her mouth closed, still chewing. Her eyes flicked to my plate as I stabbed my fork into a potato, my own eyes still glued to our son while my stomach was in knots. We had to collect all our things from our apartments and move them into one, which sounded awful. And we couldn't stuff a new place with old things, what if we'd have other babies? Not that Cami and I had even considered that, but we were young and if I had to listen to my heart I knew I wanted more.
"Can I be excused?" Gabe's silverware clattered on his plate and he moved his napkin from his lap to the table. I didn't like that he got up before finishing eating, but at least he was polite enough to ask for permission, and I really could use some time alone with Cami right now.
"Yes," She replied and glanced at his empty plate. "You have an hour before bedtime."
"Ugh," I groaned and climbed out of his seat, taking his plate to the sink before running into the living room to make every last minute count.
"What are you thinking?" Ben broke into her thoughts and she looked at him and smiled, her expression a relaxed one apparently.
"That went surprisingly well," She said seriously. "Do you think we should look for a bigger place though?"
I opened my mouth then closed it, not knowing where to start, as I stared at her. "I don't think it went that well." I said eventually, letting out the breath I had been olding and eating lazily.
"Why?"
I looked back at her, her big dark eyes staring at me with a questioning look. "Because he didn't really seem himself. You know him...and this reaction was so weird." I explained or at least tried to, since I couldn't explain that to myself really.
She set her hand on my forearm, offering a smile this time. "He probably needs time to process it...we'll see how it goes."
"Right." I agreed with a nod, part of me relieved that we had finally told him but I was still worried too. I guessed that never went away when you had a kid. "But I don't think we should look for a bigger place." I added as a second thought, realizing I hadn't answered that yet.
"Why?" She asked for the second time, but looking curious instead of confused.
I shrugged, starting eating again because it'd be a shame not to. Cami had worked hard and everything was delicious. I was a lucky man, a very lucky one. "I don't want him to be too spoiled, and we're good as we are now in our lofts...we don't really need that much more space. And the bigger it is the harder is to clean and keep it tidy."
"That's a good point." She shot me a vaguely amused look and I had the feeling that it was because of my words. When we had lived together for the first time I would have never worried about such a thing as cleaning. Then her expression changed and her cheeks turned pink, taking me off guard. "But what about...the future. I mean, we might need more space since Gabe is growing up."
I watched her closely, wondering what she was really thinking. "I'm not saying we should get a place as big as my loft of yours. Of course I want a bigger apartment, with at least three bathrooms and maybe a spare bedroom too..." I trailed off slowly.
Cami raised an eyebrow, making me feel insecure. We just got back together after all and I didn't really know what she expected from the future. "For all of my clothes?" She asked with a grin.
"No," I shook my head and answered simply.
She ran her tongue over her lips and reached for her wine glass, "A spare bedroom could always come in handy."
"I agree," I replied, both of us dancing around the subject at hand.
She nodded her head and smiled at me, lost in a thought while I just waited. "Do you think he already knew?" She asked, genuinely curious and talking about Gabe of course. "The sleepovers... We're always together..." She trailed off, making me realize how obvious we had been with our son.
"I don't know, but I think he knew something was going on." I answered with a shrug because I didn't know for sure. I could never bring myself to ask that to Gabe. It was already enough embarrassing as it was, while it should have been natural instead. But when you had spent the past years trying to convince your son that the family he had was a normal one, now that we were trying to go back to be a traditional family it was hard.
She licked her lips, setting her elbow on the table as she stared at me. "What about the others? Our friends and family?" She asked quietly.
"I think they're clueless." I replied because I was sure about that. Of course they had always been suspicious, but we weren't acting different around them lately and they weren't aware of the time we were spending together.
She nodded slowly, "But we're going to tell them, right?"
"Of course." I answered with a smile and reached for her hand, squeezing it in mine, "One step at time baby."
"So wise." She grinned at me before leaning into me to kiss me chastely.
"Maman?" Gabe's voice broke into the kitchen.
We broke the kiss, the look on our little man's face a weird one. He looked a little disgusted, but he had to get used to that. "You didn't give me my dessert." He said with a pout, marching to his mam and climbing on her lap.
"How can you know there's dessert too?" I asked with a smirk on my face.
He shot me a serious look, even narrowing his eyes on me a little. "I want it."
I raised one eyebrow slowly, genuinely surprised by his behavior and also worried. I parted my lips, but Cami cut me off before I could even start, "What happened to your manners Gabe?" She asked softly, pushing his hair off his forehead.
"Please Maman." He corrected, still pouting though and ignoring me.
I stood up, walking to the fridge and tempted to pout myself, "Is ice cream okay?"
Gabe's eyes started to light up, but he was still in one of his moods, "Yes."
Cami gave him a stern look when his eyes caught hers, "What do you say?"
"Yes please," He corrected himself.
"And?" She pushed him.
He gave her a little sigh and kept his face serious, "And what maman?!"
"You weren't very nice to papa."
Gabe looked at me as I walked back over to the table with three bowls of ice cream in my hands. The greatest temptation for our son and Ie knew it. An ashamed look appeared on his face before he eyed the dessert then looked back at me, "I'm sorry papa."
"Okay Gabe." I said back quietly, honestly feeling a little defeated. I didn't like seeing him act like that and I always took it as if I had done something wrong. Fortunately he was usually a good boy, but still.
He stuffed his mouth with ice cream, looking pretty content as he licked his lips. "Chocolate is my favorite." He announced, though it wasn't brand new information. Not for us at least.
"It's papa's too." Cami grinned at him before shooting me a quizzical look that I responded to with a shrug.
"Grandma always says I'm a lot like you." He added nonchalantly as he kept eating way too fast.
"You're a lot like maman too." I said back, forcing a smile to Cami.
He shook his head stubbornly, "I can't be! I'm a boy." He retorted. Of course.
Cami sighed but offered a smile as she poked his side, "Hey I carried you for nine months!"
"Ew." He made a disgusted face that made me grin just a little, before he looked at his mom with a way too serious expression. "Am I sleeping here tonight maman? Or papa will take me with him?"
"I was hoping that the both of you would stay over instead," Cami smiled at him, playing it off as if it were nothing.
He wrinkled his nose at us and put his spoon down, "No."
Both of Cami's eyebrows shot up, "What?"
"We only have enough beds for me and you!" He said stubbornly, pushing his bowl away even though half of the ice cream still remained untouched.
She hesitated to speak before I spoke up first, "What's wrong Gabe? Talk to us."
Gabe turned his head to look at me, "I don't want to. I want to go to bed."
We stared at him in disbelief since those words had never left his mouth, watching as he padded his way towards the hallway. I was speechless. "I'm sorry," Cami said quietly to me.
I reached for her hand and gave her another forced smile, "You did nothing wrong."
"I don't think he completely understands what's happening. He's confused," She replied, leaning closer and resting her head on my shoulder.
I wrapped my arm around her to pull her closer, taking a deep breath and trying to process what was happening, trying to give it any sense or an explanation, but nothing really came to my mind. "I think I'm confused too." I said eventually.
At that Cami pulled her head back to look up at me, her brows furrowed together. "Why?" She asked simply though I could hear a hint of worry in her tone.
With my free hand I traced circles on hers, lost in my thoughts. "I really don't know what to do, I'm lost here." I paused, shaking my head, "I feel guilty too."
"But we did nothing." She replied, using the same words I had moments before.
"Do you think we should talk to him right now?" I asked instead, closing my hand around hers as I stared at her. When she just shrugged I went on, "I don't think I can wait another day."
She stared at me a few long seconds before letting out the breath she had been holding, "Okay." She said leaving it at that and making me wonder what she was thinking.
I stood up as I held her hand, both of us heading to Gabe's room and stopping a moment on the doorway to look at him play with his cars. "Gabe." I said quietly as soon as I got the right amount of courage, his eyes shooting in our direction and focusing on me, then on Cami, and eventually on our locked hands.
"I know papa, it's bedtime. I'm going." He said flatly as he broke eye contact and put his toys away just like we had taught him.
Cami gave him a sweet smile and left my hand on favor of picking him up and set him on her knees once she sat on his bed. "Not yet baby, we want to talk to you." She said softly.
"I'm not a baby." He protested and wrinkled his nose when I sat next to them.
I looked at him seriously, "You're a big boy right?" I asked and he nodded, "So you're old enough for us to talk to you like parents talk to big boys?"
He just shrugged this time and I could see him closing himself already, something he didn't really do much. "We love you Gabe, you know that right?" Cami started, playing with his hair and using that way that only moms had to convince their sons.
"Yes I know." He said in a small voice, nodding and leaning his back against Cami's chest.
I looked at him, "But you know also that maman and I love each other, that's why we have you." I tried to explain it in the best way I could but it was the hardest thing I had ever been through.
He pursed his lips together as he stared at me, making me stop breathing. "But you don't love maman like other papas do." He retorted.
I bent over enough to look straight into his eyes, "I love you and maman more than anything in the whole world."
Cami seemed touched by my words and looked at Gabe, a smile playing on her lips, "What would make you say that Gabe?"
Gabe scrunched his nose and looked back and forth between the two of us, "I don't know."
"Gabriel," She said simply, knowing the effect that using his full name had on him. It made him open up, confess. "What's wrong?"
He moved his eyes to me, focusing on me as if the two of us were the only ones in the room. Parting his lips, he got a serious expression on his face, "I don't want you to leave us."
I felt like someone had just shot me, my chest tightening and my heard feeling heavy with regret and sorrow. I reached for Gabe and pulled him onto my lap, "I could never. You're my entire world... You and maman. Don't you know that?"
Gabe seemed to consider this and sighed, letting his eyes bounce between us again, "Why didn't you love each other before?"
"We've always loved each other," She replied honestly, even though it wasn't what he meant. Our son was a smart wise boy, and maybe we had understimated him and his age, he wasn't a baby anymore after all.
He shook his head, "You only love each other now! I had two homes and two rooms but now I'll only have one!"
She laughed at how stubborn and silly he was acting. "We were young when we had you and it was hard," She started, looking straight into his eyes. "But I never stopped loving your papa. I've loved him since I was your age and I always will."
He kept his eyes on her and shook his head slowly, "I don't understand maman." He said simply while I was still too upset to say a word that could be a useful one.
"You will when you'll be older Gabe." She said softly, her hand reaching for his cheek to caress him in a soothing way.
He leaned back against my chest, looking lost in a thought and I found myself holding my breath because after what he had said before I had no idea what else he could come up with. "But why didn't we live all together?" He asked stubbornly, making me want to hit my head against the wall as I realized how wrong we had been, thinking that the life we had led could have been good enough for our son. Truth was nothing was as good for him as his parents being together, fortunately we were still in time to give that to him now.
Cami looked up at me with a blank expression on her face, she was at loss of words and I was too. "Maman and I had to fix some things, and it took a while." I said eventually, having no idea of what else to say. I couldn't even tell him the truth, that having a baby when you were so young was too much to take, not when he was that baby. It was already hard to understand as adults, a kid could never do it.
He lifted his chin to make eye contact with me, his eyes looking a lot like mine and making me nervous. "And now it's all okay?" He asked with an innocence that killed me.
"Yes it is Gabe." I smiled to him, "Now it's more than okay, it's great. We can be a family again."
"Promise papa." He said seriously, "Promise you won't leave us."
I swallowed, still feeling all the blame for what had happened in the past but knowing that I'd never let that happen in the future. "I promise. I'll never leave you and maman, ever."
Cami gave me a genuine smile, letting me know she heard me loud and clear too. "Are you okay now?" She asked Gabe and leaned forward to kiss his forehead, pulling back with a grin on her face when he wrinkled his nose at her.
"I am," He nodded his head. "Can I stay up and watch a movie with you guys?"
She shook her head, "It's bed time, but if you're good tomorrow we can go see a movie when you get out of school."
He grinned wide at that and looked up at me again, "Can we see Captain America?"
"We can," I replied and gave Gabe a hug before helping him get situated in bed. "But you have to be good like your maman said."
"I'm always good," He said with a mischievous smile that had Cami biting back a laugh.
"We'll see," She smiled at the two of us, watching me tuck Gabe in and give him one last kiss on the cheek.
We'd almost made it into the hallway with the lights turned off when he whispered, "Papa? Can you come here?" Cami shrugged at me and waited for me in the hallway while I walked back over to Gabe's bed where he was now sitting up. "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings."
I blinked at him a moment, surprised that he had noticed that. Either I was more transparent than I thought or my kid was a lot more receptive than he showed. "It's okay Gabe." I said eventually, wrapping my arms around his tiny waist when he hugged my neck. "I love you." I added, rubbing his back.
"I love you too papa." He said back and, when I pulled back, his usual smile was back again.
I let out the breath I had been holding since forever, smiling back at my boy as I tucked him in again. "Good night." I said and watched him close his eyes as I walked out of his room, my eyes finding Cami's immediatly.
"What a night." She whispered, walking by my side as we headed back to the kitchen.
"Oh yeah." I agreed as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her against my side, "I'm exhausted."
She sighed, sneaking her own arm around my waist as we stopped in the doorway. "Tell me about it. There's still to clean everything." She said as she glanced at the dirty dishes and pans.
"Let's go to bed baby. I'll clean tomorrow morning." I suggested, pulling her as close to me as I could as I kissed her forehead.
Cami smiled and set her hand on my chest, staring into my eyes when I pulled away. "I love you so much right now," She said seriously.
"Just right now?" I cocked an eyebrow but grinned, walking her backwards into our room and kicking the door shut behind us.
"Always," She smirked and sat on the edge of the bed, peeling my shirt from my body and then running her hands down my chest. She unbuttoned then unzipped my jeans and pushed them down my legs, taking in my body and biting down on her lip to conceal the grin making its way onto her face. "No sweats tonight. You can leave the boxers on, but I'd prefer if they go."
I laughed and shook my head, pushing her onto her back and taking her jeans off while she shrugged out of her blouse. "You're feisty tonight," I hovered over her perfect body and pressed my lips against hers, my whole body melting against hers.
She cupped the back of my neck and held my face close to hers, "I'm happy instead."