Careless in our summer clothes, splashing around in the muck and the mire.

"You told Ben I kissed you?" Chloe glared at me from the doorway. "Holy shit this is a big office."

"Hello," I stared at her from my desk, tired and frustrated, not wanting to have this conversation right now. 

She walked in and shut the door behind her, "Congrats on the promotion, but seriously you couldn't have kept your mouth shut about an innocent little kiss?" 

I leaned back in my chair and ran both hand through my hair, "I felt like he should know."

She shot me another glare, "About the worst kiss in history? Or were we just swapping embarrassing Chloe stories?" 

as long as I am with you, there's no place I'd rather be

as long as I am with you, there's no place I'd rather be by sassy

"Maman!!" Gabe's voice broke the silence as he skidded into the kitchen, widening his eyes when he saw all the plates on the dining table holding his favorite dishes and sides while I followed him. "Is it my birthday?" He asked, pulling his wide eyes from the food to look at Cami.
"Don't you know your own birthday, silly man?" I asked, walking in behind our son and setting my hands on his tiny shoulders. My eyes flicked from the top of Gabe's head to the food, and then over to hers where I lifted an eyebrow at her. "What's the special occasion?"
"I just wanted to make dinner for my favorite boys," She replied and smiled, untying the apron she was wearing and setting it on the counter. "Would you like some wine?"
Gabe scrunched his nose and then grinned at her, "Yes please!"
"Not you," She laughed and grabbed a bottle of red wine from off the counter, carrying it over to the table and sitting down.

We'll never feel bad anymore.

I pushed my sleeves up and transferred the last plate of food from the kitchen counter to the dining table. There was so much food, one might think it was Christmas again. But that's what I did - I cooked when I was stressed or nervous, and lately, I'd been a mix of nerves while wondering the right words to tell Gabe. We'd been putting it off for so long though and with time, it only made it worse and worse. 

i shot for the sky

i shot for the sky by ssaarah

 

I climbed out of my truck and went to the back to grab the small amount of luggage we had. I was a little nervous. I was surprising Jac with a trip home for Thanksgiving and I wasn't sure if I'd made the right choice or not. But honestly? Anything was better than not being with her at all.

Asleep, I still see you lying next to me.

I climbed out of the truck and reached for my bag, eyeing my boyfriend from the corner of my eye as he climbed out and made his way to the back of the vehicle. It was refreshing to be able to call Dean my boyfriend again. The months we were broken up? They were awful and while we were still doing the whole long distance thing, at least I knew I had something to look forward to each and every day. "Ready gorgeous?" He asked from behind me and slid an arm around my waist. 

all your perfect imperfections.

"Well then who the hell is going to do the graphics?" I heard Travis' voice from the hallway and smirked as I attempted to cross my legs in the too tight pencil skirt.

"They sent a freelancer." A mans voice was getting closer as Travis groaned again.

"You're kidding me." I tried not to laugh as he cursed under his breath before he got to the door and saw me.

"They say she's good, used to actually work for the company! Her name is-"

"Lila Trenton." Travis finished. I winked at him. The guy next to him looked up and I did a little wave as I watched him check me out.

"Damn." He shook his head and looked between us.

we’re different and the same, gave you another name, switch up the batteries

we’re different and the same, gave you another name, switch up the batteries by sassy

"Well then who the hell is going to do the graphics?" I asked walking down the hallway of the Apple offices in New York.
"They sent a freelancer." My assistant explained as we got closer to my office.
I groaned again, "You're kidding me." I cursed under my breath before I got to the door and saw Lila. What the hell?
"They say she's good, used to actually work for the company! Her name is-"
"Lila Trenton." I finished. She winked at me.

Don't let the world in outside. Don't let a moment go by.

I smoothed a hand over my dress, not a crinkle in site but I was doing anything in my power not to think about how I was going to be late to my own premiere. Outside, I could hear a car door shut and I paced quickly over to the front door, opening it and peeking out to see if it was Seb. Of course it wasn't. I turned on my heels and started for the kitchen to find the clutch I had packed, locating it on the counter and grabbing my phone from it to dial his number. It went straight to voice mail and I slowly started to have a panic attack. 

"Ar?" His voice called out from the doorway and it took everything in me not to run. 

we work too damn hard for this just to give it up now

we work too damn hard for this just to give it up now

I got out of the black car as soon as it stopped in front of Aria's house, my hand holding my phone while I glanced at my watch. "I can't talk about it right now, I'm already late. And no, I can't talk about it later either, you have to deal with it by yourself." I said flatly, not waiting for Erin to said anything back and hunging up instead before nothicing I had a voice mail. It could wait.
"Ar?" I called out from the doorway, wondering if she was already ready.
She appeared in the foyer and saw me standing, fixing one of my cuffs. "You're late," She replied with a pout making its way onto her face that didn't match the dress she was wearing. She was beautiful.
I lifted an eyebrow in response, "Hello. It's good to see you also."
She grinned and wrapped her arms around her waist, closing her eyes as she kissed him hard. "I missed you," She said with her lips still grazing mine, her hands making fists in my jacket. "Why are you late?"

Just like an old man, I play my lonely song.

My eyes fluttered open, lights on in my apartment that I wasn't sure I had left on. Or even turned on for that mattered. Sitting up slowly, I scrubbed my hands over my face and heard a noise in the kitchen. I resisted the urge to grab a bat, mostly because I had no idea where to find one in my place, and let my eyes wander into the kitchen. I wasn't going to lie, finding Eva in my kitchen was quite a view, especially since she seemed to be making food and suddenly I was starving. "How did you break into my loft?" I let my voice break the silence, sounding groggy as hell while I silently wondered what time it was and how long I had slept. 

she got the power in her hands, to shock you like you won't believe

she got the power in her hands, to shock you like you won't believe by sassy

I opened the door of Nolan's apartment and shut it behind me as I walked inside, rushing to the kitchen where I leaned the bag I was holding on the table along with a bottle of wine. Actually, two. "Nolan?" I called out, but didn't get any answer, guessing that he was still at work even though it was weird because he wasn't there when I had gone away. Oh well.
I kicked my heels off and got myself comfortable, lifting my hair in a ponytail before starting lining all the things I had bought at the grocery store on the kitchen counter. I had to admit that it was weird being there, in his kitchen, while he wasn't even home, cooking for him when we had never done something like that in all the years we had spent knowing each other...sleeping together more like it. But he had done a great favor to me and I had been a bitch to him, still I couldn't change who I was and that meant I wouldn't say sorry. I was going to do something nice for him, which in my opinion counted a lot more than an empty apology.

my love it's very late, til morning comes, let's tessellate

my love it's very late til morning comes, let's tessellate by sassy

I opened the door of my parents house slowly, enjoying the smell of sweets filling my nostrils. It was good to be home, even if for a few days only. New York was an amazing city, but it was all about work there and I missed the rest of my life, it being my family, my friends, my kids...Lila. As I walked inside my eyes dropped on Poppy, who was all busy trying to climb the stairs, something she wasn't allowed to do. When I closed the door behind me her head snapped in my direction and she let out a loud shriek, running to me. "Hey baby." I smiled at her, bending over to catch her and pick her up, smothering her with kisses and making her giggle. "Shhh. We don't want them to hear us." I grinned at her, poking her tiny nose.
"Okay." She whispered with a huge grin on her face. She was adorable.
I adjusted her against my chest, her arm wrapping around my neck as I walked to the dining room. As I stepped inside I took in my family, they were eating the dessert of the weekly Sunday dinner. They were all there, mom and dad, Adam and his wife, Jackson and Lila...Lila? What the hell was she doing here, with my family? I froze in my tracks, staring at her as she laughed with Jackson.

Untitled #1069

Untitled #1069 by ssaarah

 

I smiled at Travi's mother Ella as she refilled my coffee cup. After the boys game Jax had invited me over for their family dinner and I was too curious to say no. Now I was glad I had. They were such a lovely family, so full of jokes and love, so much like mine just....smaller.

"Travis!" Ella's voice shouted out, making my stomach flip as I looked up into Travis' eyes. If it was possible he was even more gorgeous than ever....but he also looked real confused. "You didn't tell us you were coming!" She said, hugging her son.

"Surprise." he smirked as he pulled back, not even bothering to look at me though he had to notice I was there.

"Uncle Trav is here to play with me." Poppy cut in the conversation with a serious expression on her tiny face, holding her uncle tighter.

"That's right." Travis turned a thousand watt smile to his niece and poked her sides making her shriek with little girl laughter.

"You gottta eat this cake your mom made first, it's delicious." his dad told him between bites. Travis walked around the table, nodding to his brothers and still not paying any attention to me as he sat down next to his dad.

"A big slice please." he grinned genuinely at his mom who seemed like she was walking on air for having her whole family around. For the first time since I'd been here I felt like I didn't really belong.

"Haven't you been eating in New York?" She asked as she cut the cake, and I wondered when he was going to at least acknoledge me.

"Yes, but I'm always hungry for your food." he said back, finally turning his eyes towards mine but even though I'd been waiting for it, now it felt.....awkard.

"Oh Trav she's-"

"Lila." I cut him off, "I know her already." His words were innocent enough, but the way he said them didn't leave much to the imagination about just how well he knew me. At least to me. Adam shot a look at Travis, then looked back at Jax.

"Interesting." He smirked.

"We-we worked together." I said quietly, feeling so wierd. Clearly the Cole's thought I was dating their middle son, and even though we hadn't done anything to disprove that, we also hadn't said anything at all, now it looked like I was just making my way through the family. Ugh.

"Yep." Trav nodded, giving his attention back to Poppy who was now trying to braid his hair before taking a bite of cake. "What did I miss here?" he asked, turning away from me completely.

"I went to dance class!!" Poppy announced with a big smile that was so much like her fathers my heart melted a little.

"Were you the best dancer?" Trav asked, smirking, his eyes bright with love. Damn I'd never even seen him like this.

"No she can't even stand on her toes." Rob replied, rolling his eyes.

"Robert." His mom glared at him and Poppy turned to shoot him the exact same glare.

"I can too stupid face!!!"

"Oh yeah? Prove it!!" Adam took his son's cake and handed it off to Jax.

"If you can't be nice you don't get dessert." He said seriously, shaking his head. "See how much you missed?" He grinned at Travis.

"So much." he smiled. "This is a damn good cake." He said under his breath making Poppy giggle and poke me.

"He said damn." she laughed and I tried not to giggle with her but it was nearly impossible.

"He's naughty." I whispered back, shooting him a glance and then turning back to my cake.

"Lila helped me make it." Ella told her son, beaming at me while Trav shot me a look.

"Did she?" I shook my head, my face turning red from all the attention.

"I mostly just stirred the batter." I admitted, though I had loved helping her make dinner, she made it easy and fun. I wasn't surprised that she was so lovely though, raising three amazing boys.

"Don't sell yourself short babe, you also picked out the egg shells you got in the bowl." Jackson teased and I tossed my napkin at him.

"Says the man who played video games while we cooked." He shrugged grinned wider.

"I asked you to play."

"I didn't want you to cry when I beat you." I retorted, laughing as he tossed the napkin right back at me.

"Oh get a room." Robert rolled his eyes and I widened mine before shooting a look at Travis, who looked about ready to....well I wasn't really sure. Then he looked away as Poppy started talking.

"I want a room too." she protested as she looked at her uncle."Uncle Trav, do you have a room?"

"Kids." Trav's dad chuckled and shook his head, looking amused but in his element, so much like Travis did in a similar mood.....though right now was not one of those times.

"I do and you do too. It's all pink with fairies and little animals..."he trailed off and she blinked back at him before shrugging and turning back to his hair. "How was the game today?"

"They lost." Jackson shook his head with a teasing smirk on his face, "What's new."

Rob rolled his eyes, then glared at his father, "Thanks to dad."

"What was wrong?"

"He's so bad." Rob shook his head before his dad could have the chance to speak, "He almost makes you look good."

"Hey." Adam glared at his son, a look that would shut me up and that was hard to do. "Shut up before you say something you could regret."

"See Lila?" Ella cut in the conversation, looking over at me. "Too many boys. Sometimes it drives me crazy....I'm glad you joined the girls team."

"Hey!" Liz, Adam's wife exclaimed and Elle went over and kissed her on the top of her head.

"You're on the team too honey." she replied, finally sitting down rightn next to her daughter in law.

"You should get extra girls points for getting a Cole to settle down." Travis's dad winked at me and I blushed.

"We all know how hard that is" Elle teased him back, her eyes sparkling as she beamed at her husband. He grinned back at her.

"You have to be one hell of a woman for that." he teased back, wiggling his brows at his wife who shook her head and blushed.

"There all done!" Poppy announced, patting Travis's newly braided hair and clapping. No other person on the planet could get away with doing that.

"You look gorgeous." Liz laughed, grabbing her daughter from his arms. "Do my hair now baby." she clapped again as she took her mom's shoulder length dark hair and started twisting it around in her hands. Jackson reached out his foot to poke my knee.

"We still going running later?" I nodded.

"Of course." We'd started running in the park every weekend, trying to beat our time from the day before.

"I thought you hated running." Travis interjected making everyone turn to us.

"I just prefer swimming." I replied softly.

"Runs in the family." Jackson grinned. "There's still more cake right?"

"I just go with him so he doesn't get fat from all the cake." I replied, thinking it was so much easier to joke than to explain to Travis how close I had gotten with his brother in the past couple of weeks. It was hard to explain. I liked Jax. So much. He was easy to be around, and talk to, always in a good mood, and always playfully flirtatious but without any pressure attatched. I was surprised he didn't have a girlfriend more every day we spent together. Not to mention I'd fallen totally in love with his family....and Travis had never even offered to introduce me to them. Then again I couldn't say much. I'd never introduced him to mine either really. Travis was staring at me as if he was trying to read my mind. Sometimes I thought maybe he could. Eventually he turned to his mother and got up.

"It was delicious mom." he smiled at her, kissing her cheek.

"You're not going away already, are you?" She asked and frowned a little.

Adam cut in, "Such a moms's boy." He teased, making him sound younger than his years.

"You can't blame her if I'm her favorite." Travis joked, though I could tell it was all in jest. They were such an adorable family I wondered why Travis was the way he was.....maybe it was just with me. "I need a smoke." he added.

his mom frowned again, this time more genuinely, "You should quit."

"I always tell him" I said without thinking, and everyone turned to me, probably wondering just where I was when I was "always tellling him." Travis rose a brow at me as if he had no idea why I'd said that and then turned away.

"I'm a stubborn man." he commented shortly before heading outside.

"Unfortunately you can't change that." his mother said under her breath. "More cake Lila?" I shook my head.

"No thanks." I gave her a smile, and wanting to follow Travis but not knowing the excuse to use.

"Go yell at him." Jax said, nudging me, reading my thoughts himself as he shot me a soft smile. I nodded and slipped out, leaving him to make the excuses as I followed Travis.

"A penny for your thoughts." I said softly as I looked at Travis' back while he let out a breath.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his words coming out mixed with smoke as he stared at me. I crossed my arms against my chest for balance and swallowed thickly.

"I went to the game earlier then Jax invited me over so-"

"I mean now." he cut me off, "You don't like when I smoke."

"Oh." I down on my lip, thinking about an answer, because even though Jax was expecting me to be angry at his brother for leaving without telling me....I was more sad than mad. "I don't know." Just then, Travis reached for me with his free hand, pulling me against his hard body and taking a deep breath.

"You're coming home with me later." he said quietly against my hair, as my fingers sunk into the fabric of his sweater, I was so confused, if he still wanted me why didn't he tell me about New York? "No running."

"Come with us." I replied, not wanting to get into a fight, but also not wanting to back out on my plans. Just because Travis was here now didn't mean anything.

"No." I looked up and shook my head.

"Why?" He cupped my face in his hands, his fingers tangling into my hair and making me ache. God I loved his touch, the way he smelled.....everything.

"I need to be alone with you." I closed my eyes and let out a breath. I needed it too, so badly, a little more than a month and I was practically desperate.

"You moved to New York without telling me Travis." I said finally, not in an angry way, but trying to explain.

"I had a job there." I shook my head.

"So you couldn't have mentioned it? Hey Lil, I'm staying here indefinitley?" I pulled away from him and took a deep breath as I collected my thoughts. "I'm not really mad...I just. It proved how much you don't feel for me."

"Lil..." he trailed off as if he didn't even know how to take what I was saying.

"I know you don't love me. But god if I was only going away for a few days I would tell you. I want to tell you everything, every little stupid thing that happens to me I want you to be a part of it. But what you did.....you can't even think we're friends." I blinked back the tears that threatened to fall from my eyes.

"You didn't tell me how friendly you've gotten with my brother." He commented, more than a hint of possesion and annoyance in his tone.

"I've always been friendly with Jax." I retorted, though he was right, things had changed, we went from people who liked each other to people who didn't go a day without talking.

"How friendly?" I glared at Travis.

"I haven't even kissed a man since you." I retorted, offended he would think anything would happen between Jax and I....more offended because I had thought about it once or twice and was embarrasssed. I shot him a look that told him that I was sure he hadn't been nearly as celibate as I was. Not that it mattered. "I'm in love with you Travis. That doesn't just go away in a month. Even if you were an asshole." Travis pulled away from me and I immediately missed his warmth.

"I told you I'd be." he said after a long moment, shrugging as if that was a valid reason for what he did. I shook my head,

"You've never been with me. It's just an excuse, a lame one too." I spat back, getting more riled up with his stupid attitude. He glanced at me and slid his hands into his pockets.

"I thought you weren't mad." he deflected. I sighed, taking a step closer to him because he was like a fucking magnet to me.

"I'm not. I want to understand...I want you to tell me what you think or anything really." I said softly.

"I didn't want to upset you, that's why I didn't tell you." I took a few moments to process that bullshit before shaking my head.

"That's so stupid Travis. Either I overestimate how smart you are or you're still holding back the real reason." I replied.

"It doesn't matter anymore, it's not like I can go back in time and change my decision."

"Would you?" I asked hurriedly, biting my lip for not thinking first.

"No." I rolled my eyes but instead of leaving like I thought he would, Travis was reaching for me again, holding me tight in his strong hold. "Can we talk about this later?" With him against me I didn't really have a desire to talk at all and I hated that.

"When?" I asked back just as seriously.

"When we're done here."

"After I go running with Jax you mean." I corrected slowly. Travis snorted, obviously annoyed that he wasn't my priority when he knew just as well as I did that that wasn't fair.

"No. He'll understand and you can go another time." he said in a final tone before cupping my face with one hand and as his other tightened on my waist I realized he was going to kiss me. His lips hit mine and I was sure I forgot to breath as I kissed him back hard.

I wish I could say I wanted to walk away, but it would be a lie. His hands on me.....his mouth on me, was a kind of drug I couldn't turn down if my life depended on it. Instead I fisted his shirt, pulling myself closer, moving my mouth against his. His hand tightened in my hair as he slid his tongue into my mouth, tasting, taking me roughly like there was no possible way to get enough, and I was right with him.

"Home. With me." He growled against my mouth, holding me tighter as his lips moved down my neck and across my jaw.

"Your home?" I breathed out, my arms wrapping around his neck as his mouth continued it's sinful path down my neck.

"Yes." his voice was so raw with need it was stripping me bare. I didn't even care what he had done anymore, I didn't care about anything but his body pressed against mine. I missed the weight of him, the feel of him.

"Okay." I agreed, nodding as he nipped at my collar bone.

"God you taste fucking incredible." he took my mouth again, just as hard as he had before.

"You do..." I whispered. "Tell me you missed me."

"Lila." He growled as I pulled back to look into his eyes.

"Tell me." I begged him, needing to hear some kind of proof that what we had wasn't one sided. He pushed my hair out of my eyes and swallowed, looking conflicted even when his eyes were still firey from our embrace.

"I missed you." he said finally, the three words doing so much to me I didn't even know how to explain it. This time I was the one attacking him, pressing my lips hard against his as I cupped his face and hauled my body into his hard one.

"I missed you too." I whispered, even though I knew he already knew it.

"Good." he said quietly as he pushed my hair behind my hair, finally giving me that same genuine smile he saved for his family.

"Since when that's good?" I asked, relaxing in his arms.

"Since I say so." he kissed my forehead then my lips again, pulling away just as-

"Travis-" His moms voice came from behind us and when I turned my head she looked embarrassed that she had interrupted our embrace. "Sorry, I didn't know-"

"It's okay mom." he cut her off with a smile, making things easier. "We were about to come back inside." She nodded and then gave me a look that I hadn't seen on her before. I couldn't even pin it down...it was happy, but she had always been happy around me. "Poppy is looking for you. She wants to say goodnight."

"Everyone wants me." he grinned at his mom to make the moment lighter, squeezing my side lightly, "Talk to Jax." he ordered then headed back inside. I winced, knowing that was going to be an awkward conversation. I found him coming out of the bathroom in the hallway and licked my lips.

"Do you want to leave with him?" He asked, reading the look in my eyes. I combed my fingers through my hair and felt my face flush. "I guessed that." He cupped my face and tilted my head up. "You're stronger than you look, but don't let my brother break you." I felt his heavy words before he walked away and I followed him back into the dining room. It was the first time we'd had a conversation without him making a joke.

"Give it back to me! It's mine!" Poppy was reaching for a glasss that Travis was holding. He laughed as he kneeled down to look her in the eye.

"We can share."

"No." she stuck her tongue out at him before taking her glass from his hand and drinking it so fast some ran down her tiny cheeks.

"Can you believe he's 30?" Liz asked me as I beamed at Trav. I shook my head, loving how he was with Poppy.

"Right now? Not really."

"Said the baby." he shot me a grin as he lifted himself up again before his niece tugged at his shirt.

"Can you put me to bed uncle Travis?" Poppy asked, blinking widely at him. He grinned and picked her up.

"Are you sleeping here tonight?"

"Yeah it's a sleepover at Gamma's house!" She exclaimed. "She says we can have french toast tomorrow for breakfast!"

"Why is it never Grandpa's house?" Trav's dad laughed as he set down his newspaper and he poked Poppy who giggled.

"Because I'm in charge." Ella grinned. "Go put Poppy to bed Trav." She said, shooing him upstairs. I ran my hands through my hair and licked my lips, still feeling them tingle from Trav's kisses.

"Your lipstick is smudged." Liz said, nudging me with her hip and giving me a knowing look. I flushed and tried to fix it while Jackson looked on.

"I have a feeling I'm being ditched tonight." He commented.

"I thought you were dating Lila." Adam spoke up, looking totally confused. I shook my head.

"I'm not dating anyone." I clarified. "I'm single." Adam blinked.

"So then what are you doing bringing her home and getting all our hopes up?" He asked his brother, shoving him.

"I'm not the one she's going home with." He replied, a hint of annoyance in his voice. I felt bad.

"Let's leave everyones business to themselves tonight how about?" Ella said, clearing the table. "We can gossip later." She winked at me and I felt my face flush again.

"Can I help with the dishes?" She nodded and I walked into the kitchen with her, taking the rinsed plates from her and putting them in the dishwasher.

"Travis is a very stubborn man." she said softly. I swallowed.

"Yes I know." I agreed. "I'm pretty stubborn myself." Ella grinned.

"I don't doubt that.....just...don't give up on him too easily. He's too much like his father for his own good." I lookd up at her, she was staring at her husband with an adoring look on her pretty face and I suddenly wanted to sit down and have her tell me the story of their romance.

"If I was going to give up easily I would have already done it Mrs. Cole." I replied, though it wasn't the way she thought. Travis was never going to love me. But I wasn't going to give up on giving him enough love that maybe he could love himself a little more.

"You made her cook and clean?" I felt him before I heard him and when I turned he was smiling.

"I volunteered." I quipped back. "Let me talk to Jax quick." I felt the need to have more than the heavy conversation and I found him leaning against the porch in the front.

"He doesn't hurt me." I said softly, standing next to him but not looking at him.

"Good point. You hurt yourself." I turned to him and he followed, an expression I couldn't quite read on his handsome face.

"I can still go with you if it really bothers you." I said softly, not wanting to upset my friend.

"Nah, if you don't get laid soon you're going to jump me and then Travis would have to kick my ass, and it would be a whole family feud thing....." he joked, finally and I felt myself smiling.

"Rain check then?" I replied, instead of commenting on that ridiculousness he'd just said

"Tomorrow." I thought about my schedule and gave him a time before Travis came up to us.

"Can I have my eleven back?"

"Please. She's hard to babysit." he smirked and I hit him.

"Since when you're on his side?" I pouted, though I was glad things were back to being light between us. Jax was the one person with whom I had no drama. I hated drama.

"Since always." Travis answered for his brother as he offered me a helmet, "Drinks tomorrow night Jax?"

"Definitley."

"Adam's coming too." Jax raised a brow and I wondered how much they actually went out with their eldest brother.

"Cool." he turned and pointed towards me. "Running, noon tomorrow." I nodded.

"I promise." Travis stiffened against me as he ran his hand through his hair.

"Let's go." He seemed on the edge, like one thing could tip him over....though over to what I didn't really know.

"I'm coming." I grinned, hopping onto the bike behind him and wrapping my arms around his waist. "Drive safe." I whispered before laughing when he shook his head and pulled off, speeding through the neighboorhood that was only about ten minutes away from his house. I handed him back the helmet when he parked in the driveway and he just quickly hung it next to his before grabbing my hand and leading me inside. As soon as the door was shut I was pressed against it, his hands sliding up my stomach to cup my breasts through my shirt, his eyes fiery and a growl coming from his throat.

"Naked. You need to be naked." I grinned and slid my hands up so he could pull my shirt over my head.

"Oh? For what?" I asked, trying to keep an innocent face but failing miserably.

"Lila." he shot me a glare telling me not to mess with him right now but I couldn't help it.

"Is this where you make up for being the worlds biggest jerk?" I asked, folding my arms over my chest.

"Excuse me?" I let my head fall back against the door and I cupped my own breasts, kneading them through my bra.

"You should get naked too, I need extra good visuals to revisit when you leave with no notice again." He narrowed his eyes at me but pulled his shirt over my head.

"I'm humouring you now Lila but don't push me much further." His voice was low and dangerous, but I certainly wasn't afraid of him. I looped my fingers into his belt loops and tugged him closer, leaning in to his sculpted body.

"Or what?" I whispered, feeling risky and wanting to play with as much fire as I could.

"Or." Travis paused to reach for my wrists and pin them over my head, looking down at my raised chest before pressing his body hard against mine, letting me feel every muscle "I'll tease you to no end. I'll push you to the edge, but you'll never come." I struggled not to groan, because it sounded good, too good even though I knew both of us were too hard up for each other to wait that long.

"Bullshit." I retorted. "You'll want to come too at some point." I watched as Travis gave me a wide smirk before his eyes dropped to my lips.

"I have plenty of ways in mind to cum without you." he replied softly, making me shiver as I arched my body into his.

"Like what?" I breathed out slowly, wanting to hear it from his wicked mouth.

"I could tie you and fuck this pretty mouth." he started, sucking on the corner of my mouth before moving his lips down my neck and then to my chest as I breathed heavily. His teeth caught onto my lacy bra cup and slowly pulled it down to expose one aching breast.

"I could cum on these perfect t.its." he went on as he slowly ran his tongue flat against my already hard nipple, making me moan softly. "Or..." He trailed off, his eyes full of wicked lust as he used the hand that wasn't holding my wrist to cup my ass and tell me just what he was thinking as my panties soaked even further.

"Just fuck me already Trav." I begged him, feeling so close to losing it and all he had done was talk. He smirked as he straightened himself up, pressing his always impressive erection against the heated vee between my legs.

"Already? I thought you wanted to play." he said between clenched teeth, staring down at me with an almost dangerous edge. I shook my head.

"I need you." I begged, wriggling in his hold to try to touch him more even though I knew it was useless. But then he was letting go of my wrists and unzipping my jeans, shoving them off my legs but keeping his eyes on m.e

"Oh do you now? Didn't you want to go running?" he asked, sounding almost pissed off, almost....jealous. I blinked through my lust cloud as I took off my shoes and shoved my jeans away, gasping as he ripped off my panties with a furious growl.

"Travis." He closed his eyes as if he was trying to control himself, when I didn't want that I wanted him to lose control, with me. He unbottoned his jeans and pushed them down along with his boxers before he picked me up.

"You're mine." he growled loudly as he gave me all of him in one powerful thrust, pressing me hard against the door until he couldn't get in any further. I sand my fingers into his back, even with how aroused I was I could still barely take all of him at once and I felt so full...so perfectly stretched. "Mine." he repeated, pulling out only to slam back inside even harder, the feeling overwhelming and so fucking epic.

"Travis!" I gasped as he pushed inside of me again, my back slamming into the door, the mix of feelings making me cry out and beg for more. He'd never taken me this rough before, and though it felt incredible, I wondered what his motivation was.

"You're so fucking perfect...." He growled, grabbing my hair and pulling it back to expose my neck. His mouth moved from my jaw to my ear, tugging and then sinking his teeth into my neck as he sank inside of me again and again.

"I want to be yours Travis....please make me yours..." I tightened my legs around his waist and pulled him into me with my hands, moving my hips with his as I kissed his lips hard.

"Fuck Lila...." His hands grabbed my as.s as he held himself inside of me, stretching me, killing me. He felt better than anything I'd ever felt before. I'd never have enough.

"You feel incredible.....so big....oh my god."

"Better than running?" he glared at me and I blinked, cupping his face in my hands.

"I love you Travis. You." Usually when I said the words he pulled away, his face covered in guilt and told me not to say it. Somehow this time he looked almost....relieved. Then he swallowed and thrust hard into me again.

"You shouldn't." He buried his head in my neck and fu.cked me the way I'd been fantasizing about since I'd last seen him.

"I always will."

"You don't know what you're talking about." he muttered as he squeezed my ass tighter and fucked me deeper. I grabbed onto his hair as I cried out.

"Travis!" I felt out of control, so good, trying to hold back, trying to make it last but I wanted to cum so badly as he hit all my spots.

"I'm here...I'm here Lil, come with me." he breathed out, staring into my eyes as he sped up just the right amount to make me lose it. I moved my hands down to his arms and focused just on the feeling building up inside of me. "Christ Lil." Trav groaned and I tried to catch my breath, moving my eyes down to where his dick was thrusting fast in and out of me, a sight so fucking hot I never wanted to forget it as I lifted my eyes to him and then couldn't hold back any more, my whole body seemed to explode into a million pieces as my orgasm shot through me, into my arms and legs, my fingers and toes, my mind racing with how good it was.

"Oh my god!" I wrapped my body hard around his as I relaxed slightly, only to feel Travis coming inside of me, making me lose reality with him, getting lost in our connection. It was so good, so fucking epic.

"Good god..." Travis trailed off, struggling to breathe normally again as I went limp in his arms, my head landing in his neck.

"Always." I muttered then pressed a light kiss on his neck. He pulled away from the door and then I felt us moving, up the stairs, into his bedroom.

"You're not too tired, right?" he asked in a low voice, making me shiver as he slowly slid out of me and then set me in the middle of his bed. I stretched and adjusted myself as I shook my head, feeling sated but knowing I'd want more in minutes if not less.

"No."

"Lila." he started, laying down next to me and pushing my hair off my face before tracing my jaw line with his finger. "I want you to be mine."

"Yes. You say that a lot." I smirked and rolled my eyes, though he didn't know what he did to me with those words. The fact that he didn't really mean them killed me a little every time. I cuddled into his cozy mattress and sighed. "When's round two?" I asked, making it about sex and not about us. It was easier. And way more fun.

"No. I mean." he sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I don't want you to date other men or anything." I rose a brow at him.

"Why?" I pressed, even though I wouldn't anyways. He glared and sat up.

"Because you're mine!" he growled. I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind him and kissed his neck softly.

"I'm confused." I admitted. Travis turned around and pulled me into his lap, making me smirk and rock into him.

"Fuck... stop Lil I'm being serious." I sighed.

"I'm not going to date anyone else Travis, that wouldn't be fair to them. I don't want to lead anyone on. Someday I'll get over you." I winked even though I wasn't sure that was true either. Travis groaned, looking like he had one million things to say and no way to say them.

"I won't either." he said finally, looking into my eyes with something I'd never seen in them before. "Date other girls." I widened my eyes.

"Do you date other girls now?" I teased, knowing I was probably the closest thing to a date he'd had and I don't think he would have counted it.

"Lila!" he groaned. I took a deep breath.

"Travis....I'm confused, I don't know what you're asking me. To be your backup plan? I'm not going to wait for forever...eventually I'll move on." He pulled away from me, putting a distance I didn't enjoy between us and getting up to pull a pair of sweats over his hips.

"Do whatever you want to do." he spat, looking around, probably for cigarettes.

"Travis." I said quietly, wondering what thsi was about. He opened the door to the terrace when he found his box and set a cigarette between his lips.

"Don't wait, get over me and move on, but do it without me." he said then stepped out, clearly annoyed. I sighed and ran my finger through my hair before wrapping his bedsheet around me for a small protection against the slight breeze coming in from outside.

"Is that what you want?" I asked softly. He turned around and glared at me.

"What do you want Lila? What do you expect? That one day I'll turn into a fucking prince from a fairy tale and drop myself at your knees?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"That's ridiculous, I'm not 10 anymore you know." I replied, and even when I had been ten I had liked superheros and power rangers much more than fairy tales.

"What the fuck do you want from me Lila?" he asked again, his question coming out with smoke, making me want to slap the stupid cigarette from his lips.

"Some kind of explanation!" I sighed, trying to collect myself. "I feel like you're jerking me around Trav, everything was fine before you left but then you left without telling me a word...and now you come back and..." I trailed off, swallowing when I looked back at him. "I just want you Travis."

"No you don't." he shook his head as he took a deep breath, "You don't trust me, you don't take me seriously. You're just waiting for me to get rid of you."

"You're being unfair."

"No, I'm just saying the truth." he said bitterly, finishing his cigeratte and tossing it aside. "I tried to tell you that I want you, that I can try to be better for you and you almost laughed in my face."

"I didn't." I spat back.

"You could have as well." he snorted then ran his hands through her hair, "Forget it. Round two." he replied, walking towards me with the same stupid attitude.

"Not yet." I shook my head and slid my hands up Trav's stomach slowly. "You're right, I don't take us seriously because you tell me we're nothing over and over. I am waiting for you to get rid of me." I nodded. "But that's because that's the impression you've given me.....don't you understand?" Travis sighed and then set his forhead against mine.

"I'm not good enough for you." He said softly.

"I don't want anyone else. Are you being serious? Do you want to be with me?" He pursed his lips.

"I don't say things I don't mean." he replied.

"Are you going back to New York?" I asked point blank.

"Only for one month to finish up my project." I nodded.

"So....we'd be together." He shrugged and I folded my arms over my chest, getting the vibe that he didn't want to label it. That was fine, it was at least progress. But there was one thing I wouldn't budge on. "You'd have to tell your family we're dating."

"Lil." he growled but I shot him a look.

"I'm serious. They're confused enough as it is and I like them too much to let them think....well anything bad about me." Travis sighed.

"Fine. I'll tell them we're together." I felt my lips curve into a real smile, the kind I hadn't made in I didn't even know how long.

"If I'm yours it means you're mine." I pointed out and he grumbled but I could see the hint of a smirk on that wicked mouth.

"Don't make me regret that." he replied finally. I felt elated, I felt like I was walking on air, and I also felt so turned on I didn't know where to go first.

"You're serious?" I asked, making sure this wasn't just post sex haze and he'd wake up tomorrow with a different idea of what we were.

"...I need you." he said instead of answering, making my chest tighten up.

"Okay." I grinned. "I'm yours then." I reached up and kissed his lips before pulling back. "But I don't want you to change.....I still want you to be grumpy in the mornings and moody. You still have to tease me and be rough with me. I just want you. No one else." He set his hands on my hips and pulled away a little, taking a deep breath as if me agreeing made it too much for him.

"I want you to understand one thing Lil, a really important one." he started, and I ignored his weird mood in favor for wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Tell me." I stood up on my toes to kiss his lips, to happy to be annoyed that he was being silly. He stared into my eyes.

"Nothing will change, I won't change. Don't expect this to make some magic...everything will be like it has always been between us." I didn't point out to him that it was literally the same thing I'd said a minute ago.

"Except for you're mine." I nodded as I traced his jaw softly. "The rest was perfect already."

"I don't know about perfect." he sighed and then looked lost in his thoughts before he turned to me. "What's going on between you and my brother?" he asked and sat down on the bed, adjusting me on his lap.

"We're friends."

"How?" he rose a brow and I smirked.

"Do you not think I'm good enough to be friends with your brother?" I asked, faking hurt, but failing because I was smiling.

"Hilarious Lila." He shook his head and I laughed, thinking of how I had imitated just that.

"He's nice! We get along." He licked his lips.

"You aren't attracted to him?" I blinked, wondering where that had come from. Did he not trust me?

"Of course I am, I'm not blind." I admitted, before pressing my lips against his. "But not in the way I'm attracted to you." I whispered against his mouth.

"You'd be with him if he met you first." I licked my lips, it was something Jax and I joked about a lot, but I did't want Travis to feel uncomfortable about our relationship.

"We might have dated, yeah. But he would have been like every other guy for me. I only fall for grumps." I grinned at him and I watched as the corners of his mouth tilted upwards. "Plus he tells me all your childhood secrets and I love that." Travis laughed and my heart beat faster.

"He knows better."

"I watched a video of you as a baby." I replied, trying not to laugh. "Jax had stolen your toy and you were stomping around the house like a bear. Always my grumpy Trav." I smiled as I leaned in and pressed kisses against his neck as he chuckled.

"Are you going to tell your family?" he asked softly, his arms wrapping tighter around my waist.

"Nah, what they don't know won't kill them." He let out a breath and nodded.

"Good." I agreed with that though I was a little confused.

"Good? What does that mean?" I asked slowly.

"It means that there's no need for me to meet your family. I know Colbie and that's enough." he shrugged and looked away. Meet my family? Ha. That was about telling them about us at all, there was no way I was going to set up a meeting. No thank you.

"Okay." I nodded, feeling bad that I made him tell his family when I had no desire to tell mine. But it was different. I had met them. He wasn't going to meet mine either which was something we both wanted. "When will you leave for New York again?" Travis tangled his hand into my hair and smiled.

"The day after tomorrow."

"What do you do tomorrow?" I asked softly, not even thinking about my words, just glad I could say things at all while he was touching me like this. He moved his hand down my back and laid back on the bed as I adjusted myself.

"I plan on sleeping all day." he smirked. I figured he was joking but then again I didn't put it past him to really do it either.

"Does it mean I won't see you?" He shrugged.

"You have to go running with my brother anyway." he pointed out nonchalantly. I rolled my eyes and laid down on top of him, feeling him breathing.

"That's just a small part of the day. You're leaving for another month and I-"

"I know." Travis cut me off and then kissed me, wrapping his arms around me to keep me in place. "I'm not really going to sleep all day, I have a few errands to run and I'll spend the night with my brothers. But you'll see me for the rest of time."

"You don't have to." I shrugged and kissed him. "I'm sure Jax will hang out with me if you're busy." I smirked and Travis rolled on top of me.

"That's never going to work cutie, I'm not a jealous man." I laughed and let my eyes follow my hands as they slid up his perfect chest.

"I'm not usually a jealous girl either, but forgive me if I make a mistake every now and then." He looked down at me and gave me a soft smile, running his thumb down my cheek.

"I'll try."

"So about this round two." I grinned and wrapped my arms around his neck. "We should probably do something special....to celebrate." I wiggled my brows at him and he laughed.

"If your idea of celebrating involves you naked then I can't find something to complain about." he replied making me grin wider.

"....that isn't how everyone celebrates?" I asked, thinking about telling him to do every single one of the things he'd threatened to do to me before and wearing us both out so that it would be easy to sleep all day. Especially if it was in his arms.

"They would if they could." He leaned down and nipped at my neck, starting a sensual trail across my collar bone and leaving me melting.

"What changed your mind anyways?" I blurted out, my technique of thinking before I said things going out the window again, damn it. Travis smirked at me.

"What do you mean?" I sighed. Well I might as well spit it all out now that I had started.

"I mean I'm sure you still think I'm too young, you don't want anything to change between us, I'm guessing you're not going to be thinking of yourself as my boyfriend or anything. So why give up other girls just to have me? I mean besides the fact that I rock your world every time you touch me." I added, biting down on my lower lip as I smirked at him. He just moved his lips to my neck, sucking and nipping as I melted against him.

"No other reasons beside that." he muttered against her skin, rocking his hips into mine soft and slow, teasing me as I arched into him and let out a small moan.

"Tell me." I whispered softly as I tangled my hand in his hair and tilted my head back so he could continue kissing me.

"What do you want me to tell you." he said before licking his way to my ear where he nibbled at the lobe, and I felt his erection grow thicker between us.

"Why me? Why now?" I breathed out, though at this point all I wanted was more of him, he was seducing me, easily, even though he didn't even need to, and I was lost. He pushed the sheets off my body, which had to be flushed and hot. He looked into my eyes as he pushed down his sweats and set his dick against me, teasing me.

"Because you're my eleven."