I groaned as I realized I wasn't asleep anymore, the sound of heavy steps walking up the stairs of my home waking me and putting me in a hell of a mood already. I hated to be woken up on Saturday mornings, on Sundays too, but apparently my girlfriend loved it instead. I didn't even need to look, she was the only one having the keys, unless it was my brother, but I doubted he'd start wearing heels.
"Did you know that Colbie and Jax moved in together!? They got back together! For real! He even made her sign a contract-" Lila stopped talking for some reason and a moment later I felt the mattress flex slightly under her weight. "Are you alive baby?" She asked in a teasing voice.
"No." I muttered under my breath before burying my face into my pillow. Then she yanked my duvet and spanked my ass. Another groan left my throat as I rolled over onto my back, still refusing to open my eyes. "Christ Lil, just let me sleep."
"Did you know that Colbie and Jax moved in together!? They got back together! For real! He even made her sign a contract-" Lila stopped talking for some reason and a moment later I felt the mattress flex slightly under her weight. "Are you alive baby?" She asked in a teasing voice.
"No." I muttered under my breath before burying my face into my pillow. Then she yanked my duvet and spanked my ass. Another groan left my throat as I rolled over onto my back, still refusing to open my eyes. "Christ Lil, just let me sleep."
"But you're awake now anyway." She said in a giggle and I could tell she was really in a good mood.
I peeked one eye open and saw her there, sitting next to me, a big smile on her lips and her blonde hair framing her perfect face, the light coming from the window doing the trick and making her look like an angel. "God, how can you be so cheerful so early." I commented in a groggy voice, rubbing my hands against my face.
"We already went over this, noon is not early." She sighed then snuggled against me, kissing my lips then wrinkling her nose as she pulled back. "Did you get drunk last night and smoke a whole fabric of cigarettes?"
"Maybe." I replied nonchalantly and yawned, watching as her brow raised slowly.
"I thought you were with Karlie just for dinner." She pointed out in a clipped voice, since she wasn't crazy about my ex but I appreciated her efforts anyway.
"I went out with the guys after that." I explained simply since I had nothing to hide, then I finally found the strenght to grin at her. "Jealous?" I teased her.
She rolled her eyes, pushing me away, "You wish." She paused, pursing her lips, "And just for the record? You could've spent the night with me instead of seeing your friends again."
Now, that seemed to bother her. But she knew how I was and I knew how she was, we were independent, had our own separate friends, and we didn't have to do everything together all the time. "Mhm." Came my answer as I closed my eyes again.
"Whatever." I heard her mutter while I decided to ignore the annoyance in her tone. "Did you know about Jax and Colbs?" She asked.
I nodded because yeah, my brother had told me his plans before they happened. "Yep. Jax told me."
"And why didn't you tell me?! Why didn't he tell me?! God, I hate feeling left behind." She protested and smacked my chest. What the fuck?
"What is with you today Lil." I groaned louder, this time my eyes were open I was shooting her an annoyed look, grabbing her and pulling her against me forcefully.
"No one told me." She pouted up at me. "I thought I was Jax' best friend."
I couldn't help but grin at her cute face as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, "You are. But you're also Colbs' sister. And I'm Jax' brother. So it's complicated and I still come before you." I finished with a big grin.
She turned her head and sank her teeth into my shoulder. "You're being mean." She protested though I knew that at this point it was just a silly game between us. If Jax hadn't told her was because he didn't want her to accidentally spoil it. And Lila was smart enough to know that, only she was silly too.
I didn't even flinch, instead I spanked her ass hard, making her jump. "Nope."
She propped herself up on her hands to look down at me, her eyes narrowed on me. Mhm. Feisty Lil. Her lips parted slowly and her phone ringing cut her off, leaving me groan once again. "Hi Riley!" She said cheerfully. "Yeah of course, I'd like to have lunch with you later..." She trailed off smiling while I did the math. The poor guy was still in love with my gorgeous girl and I couldn't care less to be honest, he didn't stand a chance, but I surely didn't want him to steal me precious time I could spend with Lila.
So I grabbed her phone fast and brought it to my ear, "Actually, Lila forgot we already have plans, maybe another day. She'll call you back when she's free." I ended the call and tossed her phone somewhere on the bed.
"I can't believe you just did that!!!" Lila looked at me with wide eyes.
"Oh I did instead." I grinned, happy with myself and grabbing her to pin her down next to me.
She tried to push me away, not as happy as I was apparently. "What are you now, jealous of Riley?" She asked, glaring at me.
I shot her an amused look, "You wish." I told her, using her own words against her.
"Travis." She said seriously and wriggled in my hold, even though it was no use.
"Don't Travis me baby." I kept my grin in place, knowing which cards to play, "Can you blame me for wanting to spend the day with you? I even told him you'll call him...actuall, I think you owe me a thank you."
"Oh yes, you're so gracious." Lila rolled her eyes.
"He's in love with you." I pointed out the obvious.
She blinked. "He's my oldest friend." She responded, well aware that there were still feelings there. "If he still wants me it's because I'm the only woman who doesn't want him." She shrugged, knowing that was probably true.
"Poor guy." I sighed, leaning down to press a kiss in between her breasts.
"You didn't tell me we had plans." She smirked.
"Then why are you here?" I asked, raising a brow.
"I was hoping you'd gotten up an hour ago and I could see you getting out of the shower." She teased, only half kidding.
"Ahh so this is a booty call?" I questioned. "Too bad, I'm not your sex toy today."
She rolled her eyes. "No it's not a booty call. I just wanted to see you." There was the honesty. You could tell because her voice got a little softer, almost timid.
"Who wouldnt?" I grinned cockily and it was basicaly just a cue for her to roll her eyes again.
"Do you have a saftey pin?" She asked, narrowing her eyes.
"What?"
"I need it to deflate your ego." She replied, and watched me look at her blankly for a moment and then bust out laughing.
"Funny." I slapped her ass and looked her over.
"What?" She blinked.
"You look hot." I commented, staring at her simple cotton tank dress. "I'm wondering if I should let you be my sex toy instead." I grinned and she narrowed her eyes. Again.
"Good luck with that." She retorted, annoying her appartently.
I shrugged, deciding to avoid the hint of annoyance in her tone. Though I noticed. "I don't need luck." I pointed out and she rolled her eyes again. "Careful baby they're going to get stuck like that if you keep rolling them." I grinned as I reached for her tiny body.
She pushed me away, "You're being so cocky." She muttered. "Worse than usual."
"Oh come on baby don't you like me anymore?" I teased her, letting my back fall on the bed again but kept my hand on her leg, squeezing it.
Her eyes dropped on my hand then moved to my face. "What did you want to do today?" She asked, her turn to ignore me.
I closed my eyes, letting out a deep breath and caressing her silky skin. "I don't know."
"You just cancelled my plans for nothing?" She asked, the annoyance still there.
"I count more than Riley. Or anyone else." I said matter of factly and I opened my eyes to pin her with my stare, daring her to argue about that. I had my priorities clear, she'd better have it too.
She crossed her arms against her chest. "And I count more than anyone else to you too?"
"Yes." I answered simply and grinned when she stared at me. Not saying a world. "Mhm I silenced you...good sign." I recovered and my grin was back in place, probably cockier than before but I didn't care.
"Your lucky you're good looking." Lila sighed.
"What was that again?" I asked, leaning into her with that grin still in tact.
"I said it's lucky you're good looking." She replied.
"How good looking?" I pulled her beneath me again and pressed my lips against hers.
"Extremely." She replied, smirking herself. "Now it's your turn to compliment me." She whispered, making me laugh and bite her shoulder. "Good try." She growled and pouted up at him.
"Fine. You're hot. You already know it." I grinned. "Go make me some food."
She widened her eyes. "Why should I?!" She exclaimed. "Let's just go get some!"
"Because I don't want to get up." I shrugged.
She licked her lips and stood up. "So let's get things straight. You slept till noon, was rude to me friend, want to spend today with me, but only if I'm cooking for you, and you're not getting out of bed?"
I shrugged. "Is that all bad? I work very hard during the week."
She grabbed a pillow and chucked it at me. "So then take a goddamn vacation!!" She replied. "Don't piss off your girlfriend. Do you want to go get lunch or no?"
"Are you making it?" I questioned, completely ignoring her words.
"Over your dead body!" She replied, throwing another pillow at me.
I caught it promptly, narrowing my eyes on her. "Enough with these fucking pillows." I said and heard my voice raise. Such a thin line we were walking on. If she wanted to be pissed with no fucking reason I could be too.
She let out a breath, her hand reaching for a blonde wisp of hair and playing with it as her shoulders sagged. "I don't want to fight." She pointed out.
"I don't want either." I agreed, my body motionless and my eyes on her, waiting for her next move.
"And?" She asked, as if she was waiting for something. No. I was.
"And why can't you just cook something?" I asked simply, not seeing the big deal. I wasn't asking her to make an elaborate meal, anything edible would do. She was just too stubborn to give me any satisfaction. Sometimes.
She crossed her arms against her chest. Again. And squared her shoulders. Apparently, she did want to fight. "Because I'm not your slave." She pointed out.
I groaned at her stupid answer, shaking my head. "You're my girlfriend. You're supposed to do things for me sometimes and I'm not asking you the fucking moon Lila." I muttered as I got up, my mood getting ruined quickly.
"Just like you do things for me?" She retorted, her eyes following me.
"What are you saying that I don't do anything for you?" I asked back as I stared back at her, dead serious. I couldn't even start with all I had changed for her.
"That came out wrong." She said more quietly this time.
I reached for a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, "Yeah sure." I replied in monotone, getting dressed quickly.
She grabbed my arm, stopping me. "I didn't mean it like that Trav."
"I only thought it'd be nice if you cooked something for us to eat together, sorry if I asked." I got rid of her hold, my tone dripping sarcasm as I walked past her and went to the kitchen. Where I planned to cook something myself since it was too much for the princess. "Go to that fucking Riley and enjoy your lunch." I dismissed her, fuming because...well, because things weren't going my way just because she was too damn proud to just say yes to something so little.
"Good idea." Lila agreed, grabbing her phone and her wallet and slipping her heels back on.
"You're just going to leave?"
"You told me to!" She winced at her tone.
"Why did you even come here then?" I asked in a harsh voice.
"I was hoping to spend sometime with my boyfriend. Instead I got a jerk who orders me to be his own personal chef."
"I just wanted some damn lunch Lila." I shook my head.
She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry." She shrugged, turning to walk away.
"Good." I said in monotone, giving up because I didn't know what the fuck was wrong with her today.
"What is happening Trav?"
"Well you came over and ruined my morning so...."
"Are you kidding me?! Do you even want me around? Do you want me here?"
"I wouldn't have given you a key if I didn't wan't you here." I replied, shoving a sandwich together.
"Do you want it back? Because mostly you're just bossing me around and acting like you're the king of the world."
"You can give it back if you want." I shrugged, being an asshole but I couldn't help it. She pushed all the wrong buttons.
"Really?" She choked out the word and I finally looked at her. Her eyes were full of tears.
"What's wrong Lil?"
She took a few steps closer. "Do you want me here? At all? Am I just bothering you?"
I glared at her. "Stop being dramatic." I shook my head.
She tried to take another deep breath. "Are you coming to my show tonight?" She asked, reminding me of the opening for her new collection.
"That's tonight?" I questioned, looking back at her.
She nodded. "Yup."
Shit. I had forgotten it was tonight, I thought it was next week. "Of course." I answered quickly because I'd never miss one of her shows.
"You forgot." She pointed out slowly, reading my face.
"I said I'm coming Lila, didn't you hear me?" I spat back, annoyed that she was making me look like I was the bad one. I had done nothing wrong, it was her overreacting like the drama queen she was sometimes.
She turned away, "You don't have to come if you don't want to." She retorted and I didn't know if she was annoying me on purpose or she was so stupid to think I didn't want to be part of what was the greatest passion of her life.
"Did I ever miss one of your shows?" I asked in my best calm voice, but I was losing it quickly. Again.
"Once. In New York." She answered and I couldn't believe to my own ears.
"Are you serious Lila? I was working the night of the opening but I went by myself as soon as I could. Did you forget that?" I told to her back since she wasn't even looking at me. I reached for her shoulder and turned her towards me. "Can you at least look at me while we talk?"
She swallowed and looked up at me. "I don't know what to tell you anymore, you think you're always right no matter what I say."
"Oh Christ, I give up. You're being so fucking impossible." I groaned, tossed the sandwich on the table since I wasn't hungry anymore and grabbed a cigarette instead, heading outside. I needed to calm down, go for a ride, punch something...anything would do.
"I'm the impossible one?!" She protested from behind me, using that tone I hated so much, "Are you even listening to yourself? Do you realize how you're being today?"
I inhaled a long drag from my cig and mentally counted to ten. Then I turned my head to look at her. "I honestly have no fucking clue why you're so mad at me. I mean, okay, maybe interrupting your phone call with Riley wasn't the nicest thing to do but I did it for a good reason."
She shook her head, her eyes flaming. "No, it's not that. Well, not just that. See? You don't understand Travis."
"Make me understand then." I snapped, tempted to punch a wall for how things were turning.
"I already told you! I come here and you're being so arrogant and bossy, like you expect me to do anything you want and all you have to do is snap your fingers and give me orders." She explained, unfortunately she didn't pick the right words.
"Is that what you think of me? That I'm an asshole? Because it's how you're making me sound." I said back, my words coming out mixed with smoke and I knew she hated it but I didn't care.
She groaned in frustration, shaking her head. "You're being different Trav." She pointed out.
"I honestly have no idea of what you're talking about. I didn't order you anything and I never would because I know you're not the kind of girl who'd let me do that. And if you were I wouldn't even be with you, but that's irrelevant. I asked for one simple thing and you just snapped as if I insulted you. If you didn't want to cook, fine, I could have, but you should have picked another tone and other words instead of telling me to take a vacation and throwing pillows. But no, you snapped as if I wanted to chain your ankle and keep you there prisoner like a fucking slave." I said as I tried to make her see things the way they were.
"You have a way of twisting things." Came her response.
I let out a bitter laugh, shaking my head. "Okay, sure. Whatever you want Lila. It seems like we're not making any progress and all you want to do is blame me for everything. Fine. I'm the bad guy, happy now?" I told in monotone, putting out my cigarette and sitting on the stairs of my porch, not bothering to look at her anymore as I wondered if the really thought what she had said. If she thought that I didn't want her around, that I wanted my key back, that I was a jerk who treated her like I owned her and expected her to do anything I wanted. Why was she even with me if her opinion about me was this negative? Didn't she see how much I loved her? Wasn't that enough?
"No I'm not happy I'm sad." Lila said seriously, pouting back at me.
"Don't give her that face Lila, you brought this upon yourself. I was in a good mood before you came over."
"And because I didn't want to make lunch at your beck and call it's ruined?"
I glared at her and lit another cigarette. "You're being fucking dramatic." I replied, blowing the smoke in her face accidentally.
"Keep doing that and I'm stealing your pack and flushing them all down the toilet." She spat at me.
"That would be an unwise decision." I said, ignoring her tone.
"You know what Trav? Stay home tonight. I don't want to see you."
I just shrugged. "Whatever."
"Yeah. Whatever you're alienating your girlfriend. I swear it's like you're going through some kind of mid-life crisis at 30!!"
"I am not-"
"I might be over reacting a little I'm not sure, I'm too pissed to be reasonable, but god Trav, if you love me and you want me around start acting like it."
"Because I usually act like like I don't love you and I don't want you around?" I was yelling at this point, beyond mad. I opened my mouth to go on, but then it downed on me. I blinked and kept quiet.
Lila noticed and swallowed. "What?"
"Doesn't it feel like déjàvu? All this? You telling me I'm not enough in this relationship, you doubting that I even love you!" I exclaimed and got mad all over again, but this time I was mad at myself for letting it happen again.
She seemed to lost her words for a moment, and looked taken aback. "What are you talking about." She asked slowly.
"Don't you remember when we broke up? All the fights where you weren't happy about me? Is it so again? Tell me Lila!" I started raising my voice again, losing my control because when it was about Lila and the thought of losing her I just went crazy. I couldn't help it. "Are you going to leave me again?! Oh fuck I can't believe I'm letting you do this to me AGAIN!"
"Trav-"
"I'm such a fucking idiot damn it!" I cut her off, running my hands through my hair. "Where is this shit even coming from? I thought we were good! What did you do, did you make a list of things you don't like about us and decide to use it when the time was right? How much I don't know of what doesn't make you happy about being with me?" I went on, almost rambling and definitely out of my damn mind. "I trusted you'd tell me if something wasn't right instead of blowing it in my face using the stupidest reason ever!!!" I rubbed my hands against my face. I had been wrong all the way. How could I know what she wanted if she didn't tell me. And why she didn't tell me. I just didn't understand.
"TRAVIS!" Lila yelled. "I AM NOT LEAVING YOU!" I stopped pacing and she reached for me, getting on her toes and cupping my face. "I'm just worried that you aren't happy, that you aren't getitng what YOU need from us."
"You just said if I wanted you around to start acting like it." I replied, but my tone was softer.
"Well look at it from my point of view baby. Hell I was coming over planning to make lunch but honestly I'd rather do it for you because I want to not because you ordered me to. And it wasn't just the lunch." She sighed.
"Lila...don't you feel it?"
"Yes." She agreed. "It does seem a little like deja vu." She groaned. "SOmetimes I feel like you're not considering my feelings Travis." She started. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to leave you. When I left before it was because I was in love and I didn't think you were. I wanted a relationship where we were equals and we are. Just because I get upset doesn't mean you're losing me."
"I did love you. Even then." I replied, my voice still on edge.
"I know you did." She smiled and reached up to kiss me softly, the intimate gesture always soothing both of us.
"I didn't mean to make you upset." I said softly, meaning it.
"I didn't mean to get so worked up. I must be pmsing or something." She shrugged.
"You can't blame it on that." I rolled my eyes and she rose a brow at me.
"Oh? Has your uterus ever tried to kill you?" She questioned.
I smirked and shook my head. "Dramatic."
She let out a deep breath again. "How about I make some lunch?" She smirked back.
I rose a brow. "What a nice idea, thank you." I replied.
She smiled but still looked a little preoccupied. "Are you sure you're okay?"
I nodded and walked back into the kitchen, feeling exhausted. "Yeah." I said as I sat down on a chair, my forearms on the table and my forehead on my forearms. "You don't have to cook baby, we can go out or something." I added as an afterthought.
Her arms wrapped around my neck from behind as she bent over me, "Trav." She said softly, nuzzling me. "Don't close off, tell me what you're thinking..."
"I've never been like this with anyone else you know Lil. The fact that you have so much power on me..." I trailed off and I didn't think I needed to add more.
"I'll never leave you. I promised once and I'm promising again." She paused when she pressed a kiss on my neck then tangled her hand into my hair to force me to turn my head gently. "What are you thinking? What's wrong?" She asked again.
I looked into her eyes and showed her all I got. It felt right, maybe it'd help her understand that she was the most precious thing I had too. "I have this feeling, as if everyone's moving on, making plans, making things, while I'm stuck in this life I made for myself, always in the same place, not going anywhere." I tried to explain.
She walked around me to sit on my lap, keeping her arm looped around my neck and her free hand on my heart. "Maybe it's because you already achieved so much at such a young age. It happens to feel a little lost sometimes." She said softly. And very wisely. Only I refused that, because I never fell, never failed.
"Does it happen to you too?" I asked, wanting to know.
She shrugged, "Sometimes." She paused and licked her lips, "But I want to know if I'm part of this feeling you have Trav."
I inhaled deeply. "No Lil. No." I told her seriously as I tried to calm the fuck down because I hated to feel like this, my arms wrapping around her tiny waist and keeping her close. "If anything you're the only thing I'm completely sure and satisfied of. That's why I overreacted before, because I can't afford being insecure about you too. And now tell me, and be honest please, there's something you're not happy about me? About us? Something you'd like to change? I need to know it right now."
"Travis I know how you are and I love you. If you were some happy go lucky guy who clung to me like a-"
"Riley" I added in and she smirked at me.
"I was going to say puppy." She said slowly and I shrugged as she shook her head. "I just mean that I wouldn't want to be with you if you were like that, because it wouldn't be you. But you do have to acknowledge the difference between being Travis and just being an asshole." She finished.
"I'm sorry if that's how it came across." I sighed.
She held me tighter. "I know." She said softly, kissing me again. "But you never have to be scared of losing me. I'm yours for good." She smiled and I returned it, feeling a lot better.
"Let's go get pizza." I suggested, wanting to move on with this day and make it better.
She kissed me again. "Great idea."
I peeked one eye open and saw her there, sitting next to me, a big smile on her lips and her blonde hair framing her perfect face, the light coming from the window doing the trick and making her look like an angel. "God, how can you be so cheerful so early." I commented in a groggy voice, rubbing my hands against my face.
"We already went over this, noon is not early." She sighed then snuggled against me, kissing my lips then wrinkling her nose as she pulled back. "Did you get drunk last night and smoke a whole fabric of cigarettes?"
"Maybe." I replied nonchalantly and yawned, watching as her brow raised slowly.
"I thought you were with Karlie just for dinner." She pointed out in a clipped voice, since she wasn't crazy about my ex but I appreciated her efforts anyway.
"I went out with the guys after that." I explained simply since I had nothing to hide, then I finally found the strenght to grin at her. "Jealous?" I teased her.
She rolled her eyes, pushing me away, "You wish." She paused, pursing her lips, "And just for the record? You could've spent the night with me instead of seeing your friends again."
Now, that seemed to bother her. But she knew how I was and I knew how she was, we were independent, had our own separate friends, and we didn't have to do everything together all the time. "Mhm." Came my answer as I closed my eyes again.
"Whatever." I heard her mutter while I decided to ignore the annoyance in her tone. "Did you know about Jax and Colbs?" She asked.
I nodded because yeah, my brother had told me his plans before they happened. "Yep. Jax told me."
"And why didn't you tell me?! Why didn't he tell me?! God, I hate feeling left behind." She protested and smacked my chest. What the fuck?
"What is with you today Lil." I groaned louder, this time my eyes were open I was shooting her an annoyed look, grabbing her and pulling her against me forcefully.
"No one told me." She pouted up at me. "I thought I was Jax' best friend."
I couldn't help but grin at her cute face as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, "You are. But you're also Colbs' sister. And I'm Jax' brother. So it's complicated and I still come before you." I finished with a big grin.
She turned her head and sank her teeth into my shoulder. "You're being mean." She protested though I knew that at this point it was just a silly game between us. If Jax hadn't told her was because he didn't want her to accidentally spoil it. And Lila was smart enough to know that, only she was silly too.
I didn't even flinch, instead I spanked her ass hard, making her jump. "Nope."
She propped herself up on her hands to look down at me, her eyes narrowed on me. Mhm. Feisty Lil. Her lips parted slowly and her phone ringing cut her off, leaving me groan once again. "Hi Riley!" She said cheerfully. "Yeah of course, I'd like to have lunch with you later..." She trailed off smiling while I did the math. The poor guy was still in love with my gorgeous girl and I couldn't care less to be honest, he didn't stand a chance, but I surely didn't want him to steal me precious time I could spend with Lila.
So I grabbed her phone fast and brought it to my ear, "Actually, Lila forgot we already have plans, maybe another day. She'll call you back when she's free." I ended the call and tossed her phone somewhere on the bed.
"I can't believe you just did that!!!" Lila looked at me with wide eyes.
"Oh I did instead." I grinned, happy with myself and grabbing her to pin her down next to me.
She tried to push me away, not as happy as I was apparently. "What are you now, jealous of Riley?" She asked, glaring at me.
I shot her an amused look, "You wish." I told her, using her own words against her.
"Travis." She said seriously and wriggled in my hold, even though it was no use.
"Don't Travis me baby." I kept my grin in place, knowing which cards to play, "Can you blame me for wanting to spend the day with you? I even told him you'll call him...actuall, I think you owe me a thank you."
"Oh yes, you're so gracious." Lila rolled her eyes.
"He's in love with you." I pointed out the obvious.
She blinked. "He's my oldest friend." She responded, well aware that there were still feelings there. "If he still wants me it's because I'm the only woman who doesn't want him." She shrugged, knowing that was probably true.
"Poor guy." I sighed, leaning down to press a kiss in between her breasts.
"You didn't tell me we had plans." She smirked.
"Then why are you here?" I asked, raising a brow.
"I was hoping you'd gotten up an hour ago and I could see you getting out of the shower." She teased, only half kidding.
"Ahh so this is a booty call?" I questioned. "Too bad, I'm not your sex toy today."
She rolled her eyes. "No it's not a booty call. I just wanted to see you." There was the honesty. You could tell because her voice got a little softer, almost timid.
"Who wouldnt?" I grinned cockily and it was basicaly just a cue for her to roll her eyes again.
"Do you have a saftey pin?" She asked, narrowing her eyes.
"What?"
"I need it to deflate your ego." She replied, and watched me look at her blankly for a moment and then bust out laughing.
"Funny." I slapped her ass and looked her over.
"What?" She blinked.
"You look hot." I commented, staring at her simple cotton tank dress. "I'm wondering if I should let you be my sex toy instead." I grinned and she narrowed her eyes. Again.
"Good luck with that." She retorted, annoying her appartently.
I shrugged, deciding to avoid the hint of annoyance in her tone. Though I noticed. "I don't need luck." I pointed out and she rolled her eyes again. "Careful baby they're going to get stuck like that if you keep rolling them." I grinned as I reached for her tiny body.
She pushed me away, "You're being so cocky." She muttered. "Worse than usual."
"Oh come on baby don't you like me anymore?" I teased her, letting my back fall on the bed again but kept my hand on her leg, squeezing it.
Her eyes dropped on my hand then moved to my face. "What did you want to do today?" She asked, her turn to ignore me.
I closed my eyes, letting out a deep breath and caressing her silky skin. "I don't know."
"You just cancelled my plans for nothing?" She asked, the annoyance still there.
"I count more than Riley. Or anyone else." I said matter of factly and I opened my eyes to pin her with my stare, daring her to argue about that. I had my priorities clear, she'd better have it too.
She crossed her arms against her chest. "And I count more than anyone else to you too?"
"Yes." I answered simply and grinned when she stared at me. Not saying a world. "Mhm I silenced you...good sign." I recovered and my grin was back in place, probably cockier than before but I didn't care.
"Your lucky you're good looking." Lila sighed.
"What was that again?" I asked, leaning into her with that grin still in tact.
"I said it's lucky you're good looking." She replied.
"How good looking?" I pulled her beneath me again and pressed my lips against hers.
"Extremely." She replied, smirking herself. "Now it's your turn to compliment me." She whispered, making me laugh and bite her shoulder. "Good try." She growled and pouted up at him.
"Fine. You're hot. You already know it." I grinned. "Go make me some food."
She widened her eyes. "Why should I?!" She exclaimed. "Let's just go get some!"
"Because I don't want to get up." I shrugged.
She licked her lips and stood up. "So let's get things straight. You slept till noon, was rude to me friend, want to spend today with me, but only if I'm cooking for you, and you're not getting out of bed?"
I shrugged. "Is that all bad? I work very hard during the week."
She grabbed a pillow and chucked it at me. "So then take a goddamn vacation!!" She replied. "Don't piss off your girlfriend. Do you want to go get lunch or no?"
"Are you making it?" I questioned, completely ignoring her words.
"Over your dead body!" She replied, throwing another pillow at me.
I caught it promptly, narrowing my eyes on her. "Enough with these fucking pillows." I said and heard my voice raise. Such a thin line we were walking on. If she wanted to be pissed with no fucking reason I could be too.
She let out a breath, her hand reaching for a blonde wisp of hair and playing with it as her shoulders sagged. "I don't want to fight." She pointed out.
"I don't want either." I agreed, my body motionless and my eyes on her, waiting for her next move.
"And?" She asked, as if she was waiting for something. No. I was.
"And why can't you just cook something?" I asked simply, not seeing the big deal. I wasn't asking her to make an elaborate meal, anything edible would do. She was just too stubborn to give me any satisfaction. Sometimes.
She crossed her arms against her chest. Again. And squared her shoulders. Apparently, she did want to fight. "Because I'm not your slave." She pointed out.
I groaned at her stupid answer, shaking my head. "You're my girlfriend. You're supposed to do things for me sometimes and I'm not asking you the fucking moon Lila." I muttered as I got up, my mood getting ruined quickly.
"Just like you do things for me?" She retorted, her eyes following me.
"What are you saying that I don't do anything for you?" I asked back as I stared back at her, dead serious. I couldn't even start with all I had changed for her.
"That came out wrong." She said more quietly this time.
I reached for a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, "Yeah sure." I replied in monotone, getting dressed quickly.
She grabbed my arm, stopping me. "I didn't mean it like that Trav."
"I only thought it'd be nice if you cooked something for us to eat together, sorry if I asked." I got rid of her hold, my tone dripping sarcasm as I walked past her and went to the kitchen. Where I planned to cook something myself since it was too much for the princess. "Go to that fucking Riley and enjoy your lunch." I dismissed her, fuming because...well, because things weren't going my way just because she was too damn proud to just say yes to something so little.
"Good idea." Lila agreed, grabbing her phone and her wallet and slipping her heels back on.
"You're just going to leave?"
"You told me to!" She winced at her tone.
"Why did you even come here then?" I asked in a harsh voice.
"I was hoping to spend sometime with my boyfriend. Instead I got a jerk who orders me to be his own personal chef."
"I just wanted some damn lunch Lila." I shook my head.
She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry." She shrugged, turning to walk away.
"Good." I said in monotone, giving up because I didn't know what the fuck was wrong with her today.
"What is happening Trav?"
"Well you came over and ruined my morning so...."
"Are you kidding me?! Do you even want me around? Do you want me here?"
"I wouldn't have given you a key if I didn't wan't you here." I replied, shoving a sandwich together.
"Do you want it back? Because mostly you're just bossing me around and acting like you're the king of the world."
"You can give it back if you want." I shrugged, being an asshole but I couldn't help it. She pushed all the wrong buttons.
"Really?" She choked out the word and I finally looked at her. Her eyes were full of tears.
"What's wrong Lil?"
She took a few steps closer. "Do you want me here? At all? Am I just bothering you?"
I glared at her. "Stop being dramatic." I shook my head.
She tried to take another deep breath. "Are you coming to my show tonight?" She asked, reminding me of the opening for her new collection.
"That's tonight?" I questioned, looking back at her.
She nodded. "Yup."
Shit. I had forgotten it was tonight, I thought it was next week. "Of course." I answered quickly because I'd never miss one of her shows.
"You forgot." She pointed out slowly, reading my face.
"I said I'm coming Lila, didn't you hear me?" I spat back, annoyed that she was making me look like I was the bad one. I had done nothing wrong, it was her overreacting like the drama queen she was sometimes.
She turned away, "You don't have to come if you don't want to." She retorted and I didn't know if she was annoying me on purpose or she was so stupid to think I didn't want to be part of what was the greatest passion of her life.
"Did I ever miss one of your shows?" I asked in my best calm voice, but I was losing it quickly. Again.
"Once. In New York." She answered and I couldn't believe to my own ears.
"Are you serious Lila? I was working the night of the opening but I went by myself as soon as I could. Did you forget that?" I told to her back since she wasn't even looking at me. I reached for her shoulder and turned her towards me. "Can you at least look at me while we talk?"
She swallowed and looked up at me. "I don't know what to tell you anymore, you think you're always right no matter what I say."
"Oh Christ, I give up. You're being so fucking impossible." I groaned, tossed the sandwich on the table since I wasn't hungry anymore and grabbed a cigarette instead, heading outside. I needed to calm down, go for a ride, punch something...anything would do.
"I'm the impossible one?!" She protested from behind me, using that tone I hated so much, "Are you even listening to yourself? Do you realize how you're being today?"
I inhaled a long drag from my cig and mentally counted to ten. Then I turned my head to look at her. "I honestly have no fucking clue why you're so mad at me. I mean, okay, maybe interrupting your phone call with Riley wasn't the nicest thing to do but I did it for a good reason."
She shook her head, her eyes flaming. "No, it's not that. Well, not just that. See? You don't understand Travis."
"Make me understand then." I snapped, tempted to punch a wall for how things were turning.
"I already told you! I come here and you're being so arrogant and bossy, like you expect me to do anything you want and all you have to do is snap your fingers and give me orders." She explained, unfortunately she didn't pick the right words.
"Is that what you think of me? That I'm an asshole? Because it's how you're making me sound." I said back, my words coming out mixed with smoke and I knew she hated it but I didn't care.
She groaned in frustration, shaking her head. "You're being different Trav." She pointed out.
"I honestly have no idea of what you're talking about. I didn't order you anything and I never would because I know you're not the kind of girl who'd let me do that. And if you were I wouldn't even be with you, but that's irrelevant. I asked for one simple thing and you just snapped as if I insulted you. If you didn't want to cook, fine, I could have, but you should have picked another tone and other words instead of telling me to take a vacation and throwing pillows. But no, you snapped as if I wanted to chain your ankle and keep you there prisoner like a fucking slave." I said as I tried to make her see things the way they were.
"You have a way of twisting things." Came her response.
I let out a bitter laugh, shaking my head. "Okay, sure. Whatever you want Lila. It seems like we're not making any progress and all you want to do is blame me for everything. Fine. I'm the bad guy, happy now?" I told in monotone, putting out my cigarette and sitting on the stairs of my porch, not bothering to look at her anymore as I wondered if the really thought what she had said. If she thought that I didn't want her around, that I wanted my key back, that I was a jerk who treated her like I owned her and expected her to do anything I wanted. Why was she even with me if her opinion about me was this negative? Didn't she see how much I loved her? Wasn't that enough?
"No I'm not happy I'm sad." Lila said seriously, pouting back at me.
"Don't give her that face Lila, you brought this upon yourself. I was in a good mood before you came over."
"And because I didn't want to make lunch at your beck and call it's ruined?"
I glared at her and lit another cigarette. "You're being fucking dramatic." I replied, blowing the smoke in her face accidentally.
"Keep doing that and I'm stealing your pack and flushing them all down the toilet." She spat at me.
"That would be an unwise decision." I said, ignoring her tone.
"You know what Trav? Stay home tonight. I don't want to see you."
I just shrugged. "Whatever."
"Yeah. Whatever you're alienating your girlfriend. I swear it's like you're going through some kind of mid-life crisis at 30!!"
"I am not-"
"I might be over reacting a little I'm not sure, I'm too pissed to be reasonable, but god Trav, if you love me and you want me around start acting like it."
"Because I usually act like like I don't love you and I don't want you around?" I was yelling at this point, beyond mad. I opened my mouth to go on, but then it downed on me. I blinked and kept quiet.
Lila noticed and swallowed. "What?"
"Doesn't it feel like déjàvu? All this? You telling me I'm not enough in this relationship, you doubting that I even love you!" I exclaimed and got mad all over again, but this time I was mad at myself for letting it happen again.
She seemed to lost her words for a moment, and looked taken aback. "What are you talking about." She asked slowly.
"Don't you remember when we broke up? All the fights where you weren't happy about me? Is it so again? Tell me Lila!" I started raising my voice again, losing my control because when it was about Lila and the thought of losing her I just went crazy. I couldn't help it. "Are you going to leave me again?! Oh fuck I can't believe I'm letting you do this to me AGAIN!"
"Trav-"
"I'm such a fucking idiot damn it!" I cut her off, running my hands through my hair. "Where is this shit even coming from? I thought we were good! What did you do, did you make a list of things you don't like about us and decide to use it when the time was right? How much I don't know of what doesn't make you happy about being with me?" I went on, almost rambling and definitely out of my damn mind. "I trusted you'd tell me if something wasn't right instead of blowing it in my face using the stupidest reason ever!!!" I rubbed my hands against my face. I had been wrong all the way. How could I know what she wanted if she didn't tell me. And why she didn't tell me. I just didn't understand.
"TRAVIS!" Lila yelled. "I AM NOT LEAVING YOU!" I stopped pacing and she reached for me, getting on her toes and cupping my face. "I'm just worried that you aren't happy, that you aren't getitng what YOU need from us."
"You just said if I wanted you around to start acting like it." I replied, but my tone was softer.
"Well look at it from my point of view baby. Hell I was coming over planning to make lunch but honestly I'd rather do it for you because I want to not because you ordered me to. And it wasn't just the lunch." She sighed.
"Lila...don't you feel it?"
"Yes." She agreed. "It does seem a little like deja vu." She groaned. "SOmetimes I feel like you're not considering my feelings Travis." She started. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to leave you. When I left before it was because I was in love and I didn't think you were. I wanted a relationship where we were equals and we are. Just because I get upset doesn't mean you're losing me."
"I did love you. Even then." I replied, my voice still on edge.
"I know you did." She smiled and reached up to kiss me softly, the intimate gesture always soothing both of us.
"I didn't mean to make you upset." I said softly, meaning it.
"I didn't mean to get so worked up. I must be pmsing or something." She shrugged.
"You can't blame it on that." I rolled my eyes and she rose a brow at me.
"Oh? Has your uterus ever tried to kill you?" She questioned.
I smirked and shook my head. "Dramatic."
She let out a deep breath again. "How about I make some lunch?" She smirked back.
I rose a brow. "What a nice idea, thank you." I replied.
She smiled but still looked a little preoccupied. "Are you sure you're okay?"
I nodded and walked back into the kitchen, feeling exhausted. "Yeah." I said as I sat down on a chair, my forearms on the table and my forehead on my forearms. "You don't have to cook baby, we can go out or something." I added as an afterthought.
Her arms wrapped around my neck from behind as she bent over me, "Trav." She said softly, nuzzling me. "Don't close off, tell me what you're thinking..."
"I've never been like this with anyone else you know Lil. The fact that you have so much power on me..." I trailed off and I didn't think I needed to add more.
"I'll never leave you. I promised once and I'm promising again." She paused when she pressed a kiss on my neck then tangled her hand into my hair to force me to turn my head gently. "What are you thinking? What's wrong?" She asked again.
I looked into her eyes and showed her all I got. It felt right, maybe it'd help her understand that she was the most precious thing I had too. "I have this feeling, as if everyone's moving on, making plans, making things, while I'm stuck in this life I made for myself, always in the same place, not going anywhere." I tried to explain.
She walked around me to sit on my lap, keeping her arm looped around my neck and her free hand on my heart. "Maybe it's because you already achieved so much at such a young age. It happens to feel a little lost sometimes." She said softly. And very wisely. Only I refused that, because I never fell, never failed.
"Does it happen to you too?" I asked, wanting to know.
She shrugged, "Sometimes." She paused and licked her lips, "But I want to know if I'm part of this feeling you have Trav."
I inhaled deeply. "No Lil. No." I told her seriously as I tried to calm the fuck down because I hated to feel like this, my arms wrapping around her tiny waist and keeping her close. "If anything you're the only thing I'm completely sure and satisfied of. That's why I overreacted before, because I can't afford being insecure about you too. And now tell me, and be honest please, there's something you're not happy about me? About us? Something you'd like to change? I need to know it right now."
"Travis I know how you are and I love you. If you were some happy go lucky guy who clung to me like a-"
"Riley" I added in and she smirked at me.
"I was going to say puppy." She said slowly and I shrugged as she shook her head. "I just mean that I wouldn't want to be with you if you were like that, because it wouldn't be you. But you do have to acknowledge the difference between being Travis and just being an asshole." She finished.
"I'm sorry if that's how it came across." I sighed.
She held me tighter. "I know." She said softly, kissing me again. "But you never have to be scared of losing me. I'm yours for good." She smiled and I returned it, feeling a lot better.
"Let's go get pizza." I suggested, wanting to move on with this day and make it better.
She kissed me again. "Great idea."
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